Pennyworth (2019) s03e01 Episode Script
Well to Do
1
So this is the Battle of London
The day we as good as
won the English Civil War.
To be fair, it was
mostly because of him
Gully Troy, or Captain Blighty,
as he came to be known.
Now, you could say he was a
science experiment gone wrong.
Forward!
But there was nobody else like him.
At least that's what we thought.
Five years on,
turns out he was just the first one.
Some blame nuclear clouds,
drugs, mad scientists.
No one knew the reasons,
but they made people nervous.
Me? I saw a business opportunity.
Excuse me, mate.
Do you know you're
frightening that young lady?
No, I'm not.
You've got your hand round her neck.
- Of course she's frightened.
- That's not my hand.
- It does what it wants, this arm.
- Whose arm is it?
Woke up in a hospital, and
the bastard were there.
Fucking scientists.
They take some diabolical
liberties, don't they?
You learn to live with it.
- Who are you?
- Name's Alfie Pennyworth. You?
Doesn't matter who I am. Nobody cares.
Not true, son. I care.
Fuck off.
- Government, are you?
- Nah.
Government pays me 500 quid
for every one of your
sort I bring in for 'em.
500 quid?
- That's good money, that.
- That's why I'm here.
But suppose this arm don't
want to be brought in.
You gonna shoot me?
I don't want to.
Dead, you're only worth a pony, if that.
Now you got any ideas?
That girl needs our help.
Well, if you have a go at him,
I dare say he'll drop her
and have a go at you.
Don't worry, love.
We'll soon have you out of here.
All right, then.
Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough.
Whoa!
Sorry, mate.
We secured the enhancement.
He's safe to transport.
Don't worry, son.
We're gonna treat you right. I promise.
Excuse me, ma'am.
MI5 science department.
Hi, Lucius.
- What do we got?
- Martha, nice to see you.
We've got an unregistered cyber-limb.
Probably Russian, I'd say.
Some sort of plasma drive, I suspect,
- coupled to a gyro-transistor
- I'm kind of in a hurry, Lucius.
So do you want him, or
does he go to the police?
Unknown technology and a violent
presentation, definitely a keeper.
Okay. All yours.
- There you go.
- Mrs. Wayne.
Oh, Mr. Pennyworth.
This is your third catch
this month, I believe.
Business is good.
Don't go thinking you can drop the price
just 'cause we're doing all right.
Well, when the price was set,
nobody imagined so many of
these Pdubs would emerge.
P-what?
PWEs people with enhancements.
That's the official usage now.
NGs, more like nutters with gizmos.
You can always ask someone else.
Plenty of cowboys around
who will do the job cheaper.
Relax. You're gonna get your money.
How's baby Sam?
She's not a baby anymore.
She's turning five next week.
Oh, fuck.
I'm late. I've got to run.
Have a nice day, people.
Hoity little madame, that one.
I don't know what you see in her.
Money.
Give over.
You two have got form.
Bollocks, we have.
Tell us you never snogged her.
Tell us.
I never.
Bloody hell.
I said I never.
Un-fucking-believable.
Fuck the pair of you.
We're here, Doc.
It's just down the street.
All clear.
You okay, Doc?
- You look scared.
- No. Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, don't worry. You're safe with me.
Well, that's ironic.
How so?
I'm terribly sorry.
It's National Science Day.
And a ceremony was held at Uxted
Air Force Base to honor heroes
and heroines of the recent
global struggle for freedom.
"Kind and mature female."
"Go ahead"
Captain Gulliver Troy,
better known, of course,
- as good old Captain Blighty.
- Mm.
Today we celebrate the
wonders of modern science,
new frontiers,
astonishing possibilities.
Human potential has never been greater.
Godlike powers are
within our grasp, but
-
- Or not.
- Take care, love.
- See you later, Alfie.
The recent nuclear conflict
between the USA and Russia,
the tragic fates of Kyiv and Miami
have proven that hard truth.
We must, all of us, be ever
vigilant that nuclear war
never happens again.
He does go on, doesn't he?
Any toast going?
Plenty of toast, no marmalade.
No marmalade?
Oh, I've got a job as well, you know?
I can't be down in the shops all day.
Yeah.
I wish you'd find a nice girl.
You just saw one.
What's her name?
Bridget.
You had to think.
Well, I'll get some marmalade
on the way home, then, shall I?
You do that.
No! Please!
No, don't hurt me! No! No!
- Tell me the truth!
- No, I'm not scared of you.
I'll never tell!
You will tell, or I will
cast a spell on you!
No! Please don't!
Daddy, help. An evil
witch has caught me.
Oh, my gosh. Well, never fear.
I am here to save the day.
Listen here, you wicked witch.
You leave that poor clown alone.
No! No!
Oh, my gosh. She's
such a powerful witch.
She's not just casting a spell.
She's bashing into me.
And there's Mrs. P.
- Good morning, Mrs. P.
- Good morning.
- Mrs. P!
- Hi, Mrs. P.
I've got to run.
Uh, oh, my gosh, So have I.
Aw.
Hey.
- Have a great day at the office.
- I will.
You too.
Rave on, popsters
here's the latest smasheroo
from that supermod songbird
with the groovy beat, Sandra!
I hear you whispering ♪
But nobody's there ♪
My eyes are still lingering ♪
On your empty chair ♪
My darling, don't tell me it's true ♪
I'll wait here forever ♪
- For you ♪
-
'Cause I gave you everything ♪
My heart in your hands ♪
And what did you give to me? ♪
I'm left with candlesticks
and caravans ♪
Just left with candlesticks ♪
- And caravans ♪
-
I cling to your memory ♪
How's business? Good? Excellent.
Yeah, it looks nice. Thanks.
I'm lost in revelry ♪
I yearn just for more ♪
Yes, but wait
But
Morning, Chadley.
I'm not saying I don't believe you.
I'm saying you're letting
us down most grievously.
But it's Miss Dixon from Raven HQ.
- It's definitely her.
- Frankly, Bet, I really don't care.
- Listen
- Okay, I'll sort it meself.
But
Hello?
No problems.
There's a client in distress, waiting.
She's been gone two weeks now,
which is completely unlike her.
She's never been gone so
long without calling me.
Hmm,
Miss Hamperton, Jessica's 18, you say?
She's an adult.
She can come and go as she likes.
I went to the nightclub
where she was last seen.
Oh, my Lord.
You can't imagine a more
vile and sordid place.
She's in some kind of
trouble. I'm sure of it.
Have her parents tried to find her?
The Thistles are an eminent couple.
Sir Arnulf is head of
the Thistle Corporation.
They lead very busy public lives.
They have entrusted me
with making enquiries.
I've been her nanny since
she was two years old.
Her parents are the ones to get
an invoice, though, are they?
Oh, yes. They'll pay
any reasonable costs.
We'll have a look for Jessica, then.
I expect she's perfectly all right.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Everyone says you're the
best, Mr. Pennyworth.
Oh.
You'll find her for me.
We will, Miss.
Myself or one of my associates.
When she ever comes in,
get Bet on this one.
She's the best with missing girls.
In, she will not be.
Busy with her own affairs.
She's supposed to be here.
I told her this precisely.
It's down to me again, then.
I'm supposed to be taking
a managerial role.
Where is she?
I regret to say she is seeking revenge.
Revenge? From who?
She's looking for John Salt
so she can kill him in
some painful fashion.
Fuck's sake.
And get someone in to
sort out this place.
It looks like shit.
Hello, Miss Dixon. Remember me?
Get in there now!
- What on Earth?
- Shut up.
Sit down.
Sit down. You too.
Who are you? Who is she?
Never you mind who I am.
She knows, don't you?
Hmm.
How have you been keeping, then?
Well, thank you.
Good, good. No trauma, then?
No regrets for your days as a Nazi thug?
Not got sleepless nights
fretting about all those ruined lives?
- Now, look here
- Shut it, you.
It's taken us nigh on five
years to find this bitch,
and I'll have my say.
You look like a geography teacher.
Is that what you are,
a geography teacher?
No.
I fucking hate geography teachers.
What's the capital of Portugal, eh?
Eh?
- Lisbon?
- Exactly! Who gives a fuck?
Oh, wow.
Your heart sounds much better.
That's great.
You want to listen? Yeah? Okay.
Hold these there. That's it.
And we're gonna listen here.
It's cool, huh?
It sounds like the ocean.
She's gonna be fine.
- Oh, thank you, Doctor.
- She's a little fighter.
He's been dead a week or so.
The murder weapon was a
doctor's surgical scalpel.
Took a while to ID him,
but we now know him to be an American
a CIA agent in the tactical
security section.
- A gunman?
- Precisely.
But the Americans haven't
enquired about him,
which tells us what?
They don't us to know he was here,
which means he was doing something
he shouldn't have been doing
- something big.
- Yes.
I want you to find out
exactly what that was.
The Commonwealth summit's coming up.
We can't afford any scandals.
Understood.
- Oh, fuck.
- What?
The time. Will that be all, sir?
The time seems to be a
common theme recently.
Forgive me, Martha, if I ask again
are you
- can you handle it?
- Yes, sir. Yes, I can.
And I am handling both sides of my life.
Are you all finished, sweetheart?
Hi!
Hi, Mommy.
Hi, baby.
Hi, Mrs. P. I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was another crisis at the office.
Martha, where have
you been? You're late.
I know. It was paperwork.
Well, I wish you'd let me know
when you're gonna be late.
- Did I miss anything?
- Uh, yes, actually.
- My father's here.
- What?
He's come to stay with
us for a few days,
with a lady friend, a surprise visit.
No, but but you hate your father.
You haven't spoken in years.
Well, that's That may be, but, um
Well, well, well, this
must be the little lady
that stole my son's heart away.
- Uh
- Patrick Wayne.
Wow. What a lovely surprise.
And this is my very good
friend Virginia Devereaux.
Oh, so, so happy to meet you, Martha.
Uh, well well, this is nice.
- What's the baby's name?
- Julie.
Hello, Julie.
You know what I want, don't you?
Where's John Salt?
That's what I want to know.
Where's John Salt?
We don't know.
Oh, like fuck you don't!
He didn't escape from
prison on his tod, did he?
There were a whole network of old
Ravens helping him, obviously.
We don't know where he is. I swear.
If we knew where he was, I'd tell you.
I'm not a Raven, not anymore.
Neither of us.
We have nothing to do with politics.
You'll tell us where he
is, or mark my words,
there'll be guts on this rug.
There beneath the diamond sky ♪
Caviar and the moonlight wine ♪
She hasn't yet made up her mind ♪
If she'll take me ♪
See, my love, it's stoned indeed ♪
Wow.
I haven't seen you cats
around in a while.
How's the strong-arm game?
The security business is good.
How's the pimp trade?
The hospitality business is,
you know, ticking along.
Have you seen her?
I've seen this photo before, yeah.
When was that?
A couple of days ago.
This old bird comes in and
shows me this very same picture.
Asks me have I seen her.
And what did you say?
I said I've never seen her.
But you were lying.
And what makes you say that?
I know your style, Mr. Renley.
If you had never seen the girl,
you'd have said you had seen her
and squeezed some dosh
out of the poor old bird,
but because you have seen her
and you know she's in trouble,
you thought it best to keep mum.
You see, that is nonsense.
Mr. Renley, do you really
want it to go that way?
All due respect to your man there,
an altercation won't end well for you.
You think you're really hard, don't you?
Yeah, I suppose we do.
Why'd you ask?
Hmm? Do you think we're wrong?
Are we not hard? No?
All right, I-I saw her around
a couple of times.
And last time, she was hanging
out with that Sister Susie,
and she left with her, so, you know
You boys are so square.
Sister Susie.
She runs the Inner Peace Ashram.
- It's the hippest cult in town.
- Yeah, I've heard the name.
But why is she trouble?
She feeds these kids psychedelic drugs
so they don't know their own name.
Sometimes they wake up
happy and enlightened,
but sometimes they wake
up sad and in a brothel.
Anyone makes a fuss,
she has very heavy connections.
Connections to who?
That's way above my paygrade, mate.
I swear.
I swear I would tell you if I knew.
Hmm.
So, Thomas, do you enjoy being a doctor?
I do.
Uh, it feels good to know that every day
I'm helping someone in a practical way.
It's very fulfilling.
One of these days, you're gonna
have to stop being so damn saintly
and come work for your old man, huh?
Uh
Martha, you work for the
government, as I recall.
Mm-hmm, the Public Records Office.
Sounds fascinating.
Oh, a glorified librarian,
really, but I enjoy it.
You must have stamina.
Most women find
motherhood taxing enough.
Yes, I have great stamina.
And Thomas is a wonderful father.
Mm, why, thank you.
And you guys have met Mrs. Pennyworth.
I mean, we couldn't do it without her.
Yes, she is a treasure.
What do you do, Virginia?
Keeping Patrick happy
is a full-time job.
I bet.
And what brings you two
lovebirds to Jolly Old England?
Well, to be honest, it's simple really.
I missed my son.
There's been a distance between us,
and, uh, I'd like to fix that if I can.
Blood is blood.
Right, son?
Right.
It's damn strange seeing him again.
All of a sudden, I felt 12 years old.
They're kind of weird, aren't they?
Even for people like them.
You mean even for people like me?
Even for people like you.
Hmm.
It's been so long since we
last spoke properly. I
I don't know who he is anymore.
I'm not sure I want to know.
You barely said a word.
Well, I think you said enough
for the both of us.
Sorry.
- I was kind of nervy.
- No, don't be sorry.
You stood up for yourself.
I was proud of you.
You handled yourself very well, too.
Mm.
It's funny that he would just
show up out of the blue like this.
What do you think he wants here?
What he said, I guess. He
he wanted to meet Samantha.
- You think?
- What else?
Does he have any U.S.
government connections?
Yeah, sure. Of course.
He runs a massive corporation.
He is bound to have government ties.
What would that have
to do with anything?
Nothing. I don't know.
I was just wondering, but
He's here to see Samantha.
- Martha.
- What?
What would his government
ties have to do with anything?
Nothing, Thomas.
I was just thinking out loud.
Oh, did I doze off?
Just for a second maybe.
Babies, eh?
They make you sleepy.
You two ready to talk?
I swear on the baby's life,
we don't know anything.
You shouldn't swear on her life.
Not on the baby.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
She didn't mean it.
She's just scared.
Oh.
Oh, boy.
There you go, darling.
There you go.
Sleep on, darling. Sleep on.
Freeze.
Say something now, you crazy bitch.
Say something now.
Sticks and stones, love.
Sticks and stones.
Bingo.
Martha's off to work early, is she?
Uh-huh.
And, uh, Virginia?
Shopping.
I'm glad it's just the two of us.
Oh, why's that?
I expect you're wondering why I'm here.
Well, you told us.
You, uh you missed me,
and you wanted to meet
Martha and Samantha.
Well, of course.
But I do have another reason.
What's that?
It's a Wayne Enterprises issue.
I think it's about time
you took some part
in the family business, don't you?
Well, I-I guess that depends.
What I'm about to tell
you is highly sensitive
and confidential.
I need your help, son.
Go on.
An employee of Wayne
Enterprises has gone missing
with priceless proprietary information.
- What information?
- Complicated to explain.
It's top-secret,
need-to-know sort of thing.
We believe our employee,
Dr. Glubb, is in England.
We believe he may try
to sell what he knows
to the English government.
Well, that's too bad,
but, um, what's it got to do with me?
If we lose control of this information,
it could mean the end of the company
total disaster for us all,
for the Wayne family.
What can I do?
You could ask Martha for help.
Martha? Why Martha?
She'll know if this man has tried to
contact the English government.
Might even know where he is.
Well, I very much doubt it.
She works in admin for
the Public Records Office.
Come on, I know that's just her cover.
Her cover? No, that's her job.
Thomas, I know all about Martha.
I know she's an active field
officer for MI5 science wing,
troubleshooter for the prime minister,
licensed to kill, all that.
This sort of case is her responsibility.
Uh, well, uh, you've been misinformed.
She gave up that kind of
work same time I did,
when Samantha was born.
I'm sorry. I-I thought you knew.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
Who told you this?
We're in a tough situation
here, son, very tough,
- or I wouldn't ask for your help.
- Who told you?
I have contacts at the
Pentagon, reliable contacts.
Well, they're not as
reliable as you think.
- Maybe, but the fact remains, Thomas
- Let's get one thing straight.
Martha and I made a very conscious
decision to quit that world
and lead normal, clean, useful lives.
No lies, no violence,
no power games.
Martha doesn't work for
the MI5 or the PM's office.
And even if she did, which she doesn't,
there's no way I'd ask her
to break the trust of
whoever the hell she works for, okay?
Now I've got to get going.
I can go over that wall
and get to the roof
by way of that drainpipe there
and then in through the skylight.
Or we could just knock on the door.
But where's the fun in that?
It's a job, Daveboy.
Jobs aren't meant to be fun.
We'd like to speak to
Sister Susie, please.
Sister sees unclean souls
with an appointment.
- Hey.
- Who are you calling unclean?
Hey! Whoa!
For fuck sakes, Robert.
They just barged in.
I couldn't stop 'em.
Welcome. How can we help you?
We're looking for a Jessica Thistle.
Aw. No, man, you're not.
- No?
- No.
You're looking for
something else entirely.
You're looking for a purpose in life.
But there are none.
We are the dust of ancient stars.
Everything else in imaginary
just stories we tell ourselves.
She's not wrong.
Well, let's just say that the
imaginary police turned up here
and told themselves they were
taking your dust to the nick.
Ooh, what would the charge be?
Well, from what I hear, kidnapping,
false imprisonment, and sex trafficking,
just for a start.
Oh, do fuck off.
This is a registered charity.
And I'm extremely well protected.
That's just a story you tell yourself.
Now give us Jessica Thistle,
and we'll be on our way.
Mm, if she wants to
go with you, she can.
If she doesn't, you can fuck off, okay?
Fair enough.
Hello, Jessica.
Hi.
Jessica, my name's Alfie.
I'm here to take you home.
I don't want to go home.
There's your answer. Fuck off.
I lied. We're taking her anyway.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
What a vulgar, boring
little thug you are.
Robert!
Now, there's no need for trouble, love.
Oh, no trouble. Karma.
Daveboy, you deal with him.
- I'll take the girl.
- No.
No, this is a new jacket.
Well, you've already got it dirty.
- Where?
- There.
Shit.
Fine, but next time, you're
doing the rough stuff, okay?
Mm-hmm.
- Come here.
- Out of my way.
I said, "Out of my way."
Come on.
Hey, you're all right, love.
You're safe.
I thought we'd let you sleep a
while before I take you home.
Home? No. Take me back to Sister Susie!
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
I don't want to go home.
Give over.
Why not?
They don't like me,
and I don't like them.
Your mum and dad?
Of course you do. Of course they do.
You don't know them.
Look
I used to think I hated my dad
but I didn't really.
I didn't understand him.
Different.
You wait and see.
They'll be happy to have you back.
I don't want to go there.
Please don't make me.
Listen, we've been paid to
get you home, that's all.
So never mind me as long
as you get your money?
No. We just have to get you home.
If you don't want to stay,
you don't have to stay.
Look
Here's my, um, office number
and home address.
If you do go off again, don't
go back to Sister Susie.
She's not kosher, that one.
Call us or come around,
and we'll find you somewhere
safe to lay low. All right?
Job done?
Job done.
So what's wrong?
Money for jam.
No, I'm not complaining.
It is sad, though, innit?
When you look at all
the freedom, prosperity,
and opportunity that we have
and all these lost souls in the world
looking for answers, looking for a home.
Then there's me,
on top of the world, happy as a lark,
rolling in bunce, and for what?
Kicking squaddies in the bollocks?
What's wrong with the world, Daveboy?
Where are the moral values? Thanks.
- Soft git.
- I'm not.
You're taking soft git to a whole
new fucking level, my friend.
- But am I wrong?
- Of course not.
But we're all just dust,
like the hippy lady said.
No point in greeting about
it like a big fucking baby.
Forget I spoke.
Already did.
- Afternoon.
- Hey.
Hard day?
Up and down.
What's the pram for?
Fuck do you think it's for?
- Babies, usually.
- Well, then.
You ain't got a baby in there.
Have I not? There's a relief.
Look, you're supposed to be
working for me, you know?
- I pay your wages.
- Stuff your wages.
Nice. Cheers.
Actually, no.
Sorry, Alfie.
I'm in a right mood,
and I were lashing out.
I retract that comment.
Retraction accepted.
There's a baby in there.
Fuck me, there is.
What have you done now, Bet?
Nice little thing. Doesn't fuss.
Name's Julie.
A baby with blood on her.
You're potty, you are.
I found a Raven ledger with
codenames and addresses,
a whole network of the bastards.
I'll find John Salt,
and I'll scrag him this
time good and proper.
I just need you to babysit.
Bet, I don't know nothing about babies.
- I don't like babies.
- No, no. Me neither.
Can you not ask Peggy, eh?
Peggy's 100 miles away,
and she'd say no any road.
What about your mum? She around?
My mom's already got a job.
Bet, forget about John Salt.
Get on with your life.
Okay, on me own then, as usual.
Bet, don't be like that. Look, wait.
No, no, I know who me friends are.
Come on, Julie. We'll go elsewhere.
We know where we're not wanted.
See what I mean?
Where are the moral values?
Hey.
- Hey.
- Daddy!
- There she is.
- Yay!
Oh, come here. Oh, glad
to see you, sweetie.
Mm.
Hey. How was your day?
It was boring, as usual. Yours?
- Uh, same.
- Mm.
Uh, you're back early.
I felt like I wanted to
be home with Sam,
so I took the afternoon off.
Well, me too.
Mm, great minds, huh?
Mm.
- Is my is my dad home?
- Mm-hmm, in their room.
Virginia just got back from
sightseeing and shopping.
- My God, she knows how to shop.
- Mm.
Did, um did he speak to you at all?
No.
I mean, we spoke, but not about
anything in particular, really.
Why? Did you speak with him?
- I did.
- And?
- Why?
- "Why"?
Well, uh, why did you ask?
No reason.
Just making conversation.
He might have said why he's here.
He didn't.
He said, uh Well,
he said a lot of things.
Nothing important.
- Whoa, Sam, that is
- Oh!
That is so great.
Oh! Well, now we got
to build another one.
Well, um, that's great.
I guess he's actually here to see Sam.
- Mm.
- Me! Here to see me!
Yes. That's right, honey.
He's here to see you.
Well?
I'm working on it.
- Did you talk to him?
- I did.
And?
I said I'm working on it.
What does that mean?
He didn't even know she
was active MI5, okay?
That's that's what I'm working with.
He said that?
Yeah, okay? So give me some time.
And you believed him?
Yeah, I did. He's my son. I know him.
You're telling me you're a
good judge of character?
- Me, of all people?
- Fuck you.
Excuse me?
I know my own son.
He doesn't know anything.
It's gonna take some time
to make this work.
- That's all I'm saying.
- No. What you said was eff you.
- That's what you said to me.
- For which, I apologize.
This is a tense situation. I'm tense.
I understand you're tense,
but you don't speak to me like that.
You know I can't tolerate bad language.
- I shared that with you.
- Ginny, I understand
You don't understand anything.
Not even your own son.
He knows what she does.
He was playing you. Look at me!
Say it.
He was playing me.
- I'll talk to him again.
- Don't take no for an answer.
You're his father.
I am mandated to do whatever
I need to do to get a win here.
Not just allowed
mandated
whatever I need to do.
Understand?
Tell me something good.
The girl is in place. Shall we proceed?
Yes, go ahead.
You have the green light
for tomorrow morning.
I can't just forget ♪
My darling, I'll never know why ♪
You left without saying bye-bye ♪
Right.
Oh, yes. Hello. Good morning.
Um, I'm calling in response
to your advertisement in the newspaper.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
My name is
Oh, no, we don't want any.
Thank you very much.
Uh, but nice of you to call.
Blimey, salesman.
They don't stop, do they?
You phoned them, didn't you?
Me? No.
Well, I didn't hear the phone ring.
Well, it did. Otherwise,
why would I answer it?
You all right?
- Wrong side of the bed?
- Yeah. No, bad dream.
- Was your father in it?
- No.
Ooh, he's been bothering
me in my dreams,
something chronic
leaping out from dark corners
like an hobgoblin.
Does he do that with you?
No. It's a girl I know.
Oh, well, that sort of dream.
When are you gonna settle down, Alfie?
You need children.
You keep telling me that,
but you never say why.
I mean, what are they for?
My life's pukka as it is.
Help me.
Oh!
So this is the Battle of London
The day we as good as
won the English Civil War.
To be fair, it was
mostly because of him
Gully Troy, or Captain Blighty,
as he came to be known.
Now, you could say he was a
science experiment gone wrong.
Forward!
But there was nobody else like him.
At least that's what we thought.
Five years on,
turns out he was just the first one.
Some blame nuclear clouds,
drugs, mad scientists.
No one knew the reasons,
but they made people nervous.
Me? I saw a business opportunity.
Excuse me, mate.
Do you know you're
frightening that young lady?
No, I'm not.
You've got your hand round her neck.
- Of course she's frightened.
- That's not my hand.
- It does what it wants, this arm.
- Whose arm is it?
Woke up in a hospital, and
the bastard were there.
Fucking scientists.
They take some diabolical
liberties, don't they?
You learn to live with it.
- Who are you?
- Name's Alfie Pennyworth. You?
Doesn't matter who I am. Nobody cares.
Not true, son. I care.
Fuck off.
- Government, are you?
- Nah.
Government pays me 500 quid
for every one of your
sort I bring in for 'em.
500 quid?
- That's good money, that.
- That's why I'm here.
But suppose this arm don't
want to be brought in.
You gonna shoot me?
I don't want to.
Dead, you're only worth a pony, if that.
Now you got any ideas?
That girl needs our help.
Well, if you have a go at him,
I dare say he'll drop her
and have a go at you.
Don't worry, love.
We'll soon have you out of here.
All right, then.
Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough.
Whoa!
Sorry, mate.
We secured the enhancement.
He's safe to transport.
Don't worry, son.
We're gonna treat you right. I promise.
Excuse me, ma'am.
MI5 science department.
Hi, Lucius.
- What do we got?
- Martha, nice to see you.
We've got an unregistered cyber-limb.
Probably Russian, I'd say.
Some sort of plasma drive, I suspect,
- coupled to a gyro-transistor
- I'm kind of in a hurry, Lucius.
So do you want him, or
does he go to the police?
Unknown technology and a violent
presentation, definitely a keeper.
Okay. All yours.
- There you go.
- Mrs. Wayne.
Oh, Mr. Pennyworth.
This is your third catch
this month, I believe.
Business is good.
Don't go thinking you can drop the price
just 'cause we're doing all right.
Well, when the price was set,
nobody imagined so many of
these Pdubs would emerge.
P-what?
PWEs people with enhancements.
That's the official usage now.
NGs, more like nutters with gizmos.
You can always ask someone else.
Plenty of cowboys around
who will do the job cheaper.
Relax. You're gonna get your money.
How's baby Sam?
She's not a baby anymore.
She's turning five next week.
Oh, fuck.
I'm late. I've got to run.
Have a nice day, people.
Hoity little madame, that one.
I don't know what you see in her.
Money.
Give over.
You two have got form.
Bollocks, we have.
Tell us you never snogged her.
Tell us.
I never.
Bloody hell.
I said I never.
Un-fucking-believable.
Fuck the pair of you.
We're here, Doc.
It's just down the street.
All clear.
You okay, Doc?
- You look scared.
- No. Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, don't worry. You're safe with me.
Well, that's ironic.
How so?
I'm terribly sorry.
It's National Science Day.
And a ceremony was held at Uxted
Air Force Base to honor heroes
and heroines of the recent
global struggle for freedom.
"Kind and mature female."
"Go ahead"
Captain Gulliver Troy,
better known, of course,
- as good old Captain Blighty.
- Mm.
Today we celebrate the
wonders of modern science,
new frontiers,
astonishing possibilities.
Human potential has never been greater.
Godlike powers are
within our grasp, but
-
- Or not.
- Take care, love.
- See you later, Alfie.
The recent nuclear conflict
between the USA and Russia,
the tragic fates of Kyiv and Miami
have proven that hard truth.
We must, all of us, be ever
vigilant that nuclear war
never happens again.
He does go on, doesn't he?
Any toast going?
Plenty of toast, no marmalade.
No marmalade?
Oh, I've got a job as well, you know?
I can't be down in the shops all day.
Yeah.
I wish you'd find a nice girl.
You just saw one.
What's her name?
Bridget.
You had to think.
Well, I'll get some marmalade
on the way home, then, shall I?
You do that.
No! Please!
No, don't hurt me! No! No!
- Tell me the truth!
- No, I'm not scared of you.
I'll never tell!
You will tell, or I will
cast a spell on you!
No! Please don't!
Daddy, help. An evil
witch has caught me.
Oh, my gosh. Well, never fear.
I am here to save the day.
Listen here, you wicked witch.
You leave that poor clown alone.
No! No!
Oh, my gosh. She's
such a powerful witch.
She's not just casting a spell.
She's bashing into me.
And there's Mrs. P.
- Good morning, Mrs. P.
- Good morning.
- Mrs. P!
- Hi, Mrs. P.
I've got to run.
Uh, oh, my gosh, So have I.
Aw.
Hey.
- Have a great day at the office.
- I will.
You too.
Rave on, popsters
here's the latest smasheroo
from that supermod songbird
with the groovy beat, Sandra!
I hear you whispering ♪
But nobody's there ♪
My eyes are still lingering ♪
On your empty chair ♪
My darling, don't tell me it's true ♪
I'll wait here forever ♪
- For you ♪
-
'Cause I gave you everything ♪
My heart in your hands ♪
And what did you give to me? ♪
I'm left with candlesticks
and caravans ♪
Just left with candlesticks ♪
- And caravans ♪
-
I cling to your memory ♪
How's business? Good? Excellent.
Yeah, it looks nice. Thanks.
I'm lost in revelry ♪
I yearn just for more ♪
Yes, but wait
But
Morning, Chadley.
I'm not saying I don't believe you.
I'm saying you're letting
us down most grievously.
But it's Miss Dixon from Raven HQ.
- It's definitely her.
- Frankly, Bet, I really don't care.
- Listen
- Okay, I'll sort it meself.
But
Hello?
No problems.
There's a client in distress, waiting.
She's been gone two weeks now,
which is completely unlike her.
She's never been gone so
long without calling me.
Hmm,
Miss Hamperton, Jessica's 18, you say?
She's an adult.
She can come and go as she likes.
I went to the nightclub
where she was last seen.
Oh, my Lord.
You can't imagine a more
vile and sordid place.
She's in some kind of
trouble. I'm sure of it.
Have her parents tried to find her?
The Thistles are an eminent couple.
Sir Arnulf is head of
the Thistle Corporation.
They lead very busy public lives.
They have entrusted me
with making enquiries.
I've been her nanny since
she was two years old.
Her parents are the ones to get
an invoice, though, are they?
Oh, yes. They'll pay
any reasonable costs.
We'll have a look for Jessica, then.
I expect she's perfectly all right.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Everyone says you're the
best, Mr. Pennyworth.
Oh.
You'll find her for me.
We will, Miss.
Myself or one of my associates.
When she ever comes in,
get Bet on this one.
She's the best with missing girls.
In, she will not be.
Busy with her own affairs.
She's supposed to be here.
I told her this precisely.
It's down to me again, then.
I'm supposed to be taking
a managerial role.
Where is she?
I regret to say she is seeking revenge.
Revenge? From who?
She's looking for John Salt
so she can kill him in
some painful fashion.
Fuck's sake.
And get someone in to
sort out this place.
It looks like shit.
Hello, Miss Dixon. Remember me?
Get in there now!
- What on Earth?
- Shut up.
Sit down.
Sit down. You too.
Who are you? Who is she?
Never you mind who I am.
She knows, don't you?
Hmm.
How have you been keeping, then?
Well, thank you.
Good, good. No trauma, then?
No regrets for your days as a Nazi thug?
Not got sleepless nights
fretting about all those ruined lives?
- Now, look here
- Shut it, you.
It's taken us nigh on five
years to find this bitch,
and I'll have my say.
You look like a geography teacher.
Is that what you are,
a geography teacher?
No.
I fucking hate geography teachers.
What's the capital of Portugal, eh?
Eh?
- Lisbon?
- Exactly! Who gives a fuck?
Oh, wow.
Your heart sounds much better.
That's great.
You want to listen? Yeah? Okay.
Hold these there. That's it.
And we're gonna listen here.
It's cool, huh?
It sounds like the ocean.
She's gonna be fine.
- Oh, thank you, Doctor.
- She's a little fighter.
He's been dead a week or so.
The murder weapon was a
doctor's surgical scalpel.
Took a while to ID him,
but we now know him to be an American
a CIA agent in the tactical
security section.
- A gunman?
- Precisely.
But the Americans haven't
enquired about him,
which tells us what?
They don't us to know he was here,
which means he was doing something
he shouldn't have been doing
- something big.
- Yes.
I want you to find out
exactly what that was.
The Commonwealth summit's coming up.
We can't afford any scandals.
Understood.
- Oh, fuck.
- What?
The time. Will that be all, sir?
The time seems to be a
common theme recently.
Forgive me, Martha, if I ask again
are you
- can you handle it?
- Yes, sir. Yes, I can.
And I am handling both sides of my life.
Are you all finished, sweetheart?
Hi!
Hi, Mommy.
Hi, baby.
Hi, Mrs. P. I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was another crisis at the office.
Martha, where have
you been? You're late.
I know. It was paperwork.
Well, I wish you'd let me know
when you're gonna be late.
- Did I miss anything?
- Uh, yes, actually.
- My father's here.
- What?
He's come to stay with
us for a few days,
with a lady friend, a surprise visit.
No, but but you hate your father.
You haven't spoken in years.
Well, that's That may be, but, um
Well, well, well, this
must be the little lady
that stole my son's heart away.
- Uh
- Patrick Wayne.
Wow. What a lovely surprise.
And this is my very good
friend Virginia Devereaux.
Oh, so, so happy to meet you, Martha.
Uh, well well, this is nice.
- What's the baby's name?
- Julie.
Hello, Julie.
You know what I want, don't you?
Where's John Salt?
That's what I want to know.
Where's John Salt?
We don't know.
Oh, like fuck you don't!
He didn't escape from
prison on his tod, did he?
There were a whole network of old
Ravens helping him, obviously.
We don't know where he is. I swear.
If we knew where he was, I'd tell you.
I'm not a Raven, not anymore.
Neither of us.
We have nothing to do with politics.
You'll tell us where he
is, or mark my words,
there'll be guts on this rug.
There beneath the diamond sky ♪
Caviar and the moonlight wine ♪
She hasn't yet made up her mind ♪
If she'll take me ♪
See, my love, it's stoned indeed ♪
Wow.
I haven't seen you cats
around in a while.
How's the strong-arm game?
The security business is good.
How's the pimp trade?
The hospitality business is,
you know, ticking along.
Have you seen her?
I've seen this photo before, yeah.
When was that?
A couple of days ago.
This old bird comes in and
shows me this very same picture.
Asks me have I seen her.
And what did you say?
I said I've never seen her.
But you were lying.
And what makes you say that?
I know your style, Mr. Renley.
If you had never seen the girl,
you'd have said you had seen her
and squeezed some dosh
out of the poor old bird,
but because you have seen her
and you know she's in trouble,
you thought it best to keep mum.
You see, that is nonsense.
Mr. Renley, do you really
want it to go that way?
All due respect to your man there,
an altercation won't end well for you.
You think you're really hard, don't you?
Yeah, I suppose we do.
Why'd you ask?
Hmm? Do you think we're wrong?
Are we not hard? No?
All right, I-I saw her around
a couple of times.
And last time, she was hanging
out with that Sister Susie,
and she left with her, so, you know
You boys are so square.
Sister Susie.
She runs the Inner Peace Ashram.
- It's the hippest cult in town.
- Yeah, I've heard the name.
But why is she trouble?
She feeds these kids psychedelic drugs
so they don't know their own name.
Sometimes they wake up
happy and enlightened,
but sometimes they wake
up sad and in a brothel.
Anyone makes a fuss,
she has very heavy connections.
Connections to who?
That's way above my paygrade, mate.
I swear.
I swear I would tell you if I knew.
Hmm.
So, Thomas, do you enjoy being a doctor?
I do.
Uh, it feels good to know that every day
I'm helping someone in a practical way.
It's very fulfilling.
One of these days, you're gonna
have to stop being so damn saintly
and come work for your old man, huh?
Uh
Martha, you work for the
government, as I recall.
Mm-hmm, the Public Records Office.
Sounds fascinating.
Oh, a glorified librarian,
really, but I enjoy it.
You must have stamina.
Most women find
motherhood taxing enough.
Yes, I have great stamina.
And Thomas is a wonderful father.
Mm, why, thank you.
And you guys have met Mrs. Pennyworth.
I mean, we couldn't do it without her.
Yes, she is a treasure.
What do you do, Virginia?
Keeping Patrick happy
is a full-time job.
I bet.
And what brings you two
lovebirds to Jolly Old England?
Well, to be honest, it's simple really.
I missed my son.
There's been a distance between us,
and, uh, I'd like to fix that if I can.
Blood is blood.
Right, son?
Right.
It's damn strange seeing him again.
All of a sudden, I felt 12 years old.
They're kind of weird, aren't they?
Even for people like them.
You mean even for people like me?
Even for people like you.
Hmm.
It's been so long since we
last spoke properly. I
I don't know who he is anymore.
I'm not sure I want to know.
You barely said a word.
Well, I think you said enough
for the both of us.
Sorry.
- I was kind of nervy.
- No, don't be sorry.
You stood up for yourself.
I was proud of you.
You handled yourself very well, too.
Mm.
It's funny that he would just
show up out of the blue like this.
What do you think he wants here?
What he said, I guess. He
he wanted to meet Samantha.
- You think?
- What else?
Does he have any U.S.
government connections?
Yeah, sure. Of course.
He runs a massive corporation.
He is bound to have government ties.
What would that have
to do with anything?
Nothing. I don't know.
I was just wondering, but
He's here to see Samantha.
- Martha.
- What?
What would his government
ties have to do with anything?
Nothing, Thomas.
I was just thinking out loud.
Oh, did I doze off?
Just for a second maybe.
Babies, eh?
They make you sleepy.
You two ready to talk?
I swear on the baby's life,
we don't know anything.
You shouldn't swear on her life.
Not on the baby.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
She didn't mean it.
She's just scared.
Oh.
Oh, boy.
There you go, darling.
There you go.
Sleep on, darling. Sleep on.
Freeze.
Say something now, you crazy bitch.
Say something now.
Sticks and stones, love.
Sticks and stones.
Bingo.
Martha's off to work early, is she?
Uh-huh.
And, uh, Virginia?
Shopping.
I'm glad it's just the two of us.
Oh, why's that?
I expect you're wondering why I'm here.
Well, you told us.
You, uh you missed me,
and you wanted to meet
Martha and Samantha.
Well, of course.
But I do have another reason.
What's that?
It's a Wayne Enterprises issue.
I think it's about time
you took some part
in the family business, don't you?
Well, I-I guess that depends.
What I'm about to tell
you is highly sensitive
and confidential.
I need your help, son.
Go on.
An employee of Wayne
Enterprises has gone missing
with priceless proprietary information.
- What information?
- Complicated to explain.
It's top-secret,
need-to-know sort of thing.
We believe our employee,
Dr. Glubb, is in England.
We believe he may try
to sell what he knows
to the English government.
Well, that's too bad,
but, um, what's it got to do with me?
If we lose control of this information,
it could mean the end of the company
total disaster for us all,
for the Wayne family.
What can I do?
You could ask Martha for help.
Martha? Why Martha?
She'll know if this man has tried to
contact the English government.
Might even know where he is.
Well, I very much doubt it.
She works in admin for
the Public Records Office.
Come on, I know that's just her cover.
Her cover? No, that's her job.
Thomas, I know all about Martha.
I know she's an active field
officer for MI5 science wing,
troubleshooter for the prime minister,
licensed to kill, all that.
This sort of case is her responsibility.
Uh, well, uh, you've been misinformed.
She gave up that kind of
work same time I did,
when Samantha was born.
I'm sorry. I-I thought you knew.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
Who told you this?
We're in a tough situation
here, son, very tough,
- or I wouldn't ask for your help.
- Who told you?
I have contacts at the
Pentagon, reliable contacts.
Well, they're not as
reliable as you think.
- Maybe, but the fact remains, Thomas
- Let's get one thing straight.
Martha and I made a very conscious
decision to quit that world
and lead normal, clean, useful lives.
No lies, no violence,
no power games.
Martha doesn't work for
the MI5 or the PM's office.
And even if she did, which she doesn't,
there's no way I'd ask her
to break the trust of
whoever the hell she works for, okay?
Now I've got to get going.
I can go over that wall
and get to the roof
by way of that drainpipe there
and then in through the skylight.
Or we could just knock on the door.
But where's the fun in that?
It's a job, Daveboy.
Jobs aren't meant to be fun.
We'd like to speak to
Sister Susie, please.
Sister sees unclean souls
with an appointment.
- Hey.
- Who are you calling unclean?
Hey! Whoa!
For fuck sakes, Robert.
They just barged in.
I couldn't stop 'em.
Welcome. How can we help you?
We're looking for a Jessica Thistle.
Aw. No, man, you're not.
- No?
- No.
You're looking for
something else entirely.
You're looking for a purpose in life.
But there are none.
We are the dust of ancient stars.
Everything else in imaginary
just stories we tell ourselves.
She's not wrong.
Well, let's just say that the
imaginary police turned up here
and told themselves they were
taking your dust to the nick.
Ooh, what would the charge be?
Well, from what I hear, kidnapping,
false imprisonment, and sex trafficking,
just for a start.
Oh, do fuck off.
This is a registered charity.
And I'm extremely well protected.
That's just a story you tell yourself.
Now give us Jessica Thistle,
and we'll be on our way.
Mm, if she wants to
go with you, she can.
If she doesn't, you can fuck off, okay?
Fair enough.
Hello, Jessica.
Hi.
Jessica, my name's Alfie.
I'm here to take you home.
I don't want to go home.
There's your answer. Fuck off.
I lied. We're taking her anyway.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
What a vulgar, boring
little thug you are.
Robert!
Now, there's no need for trouble, love.
Oh, no trouble. Karma.
Daveboy, you deal with him.
- I'll take the girl.
- No.
No, this is a new jacket.
Well, you've already got it dirty.
- Where?
- There.
Shit.
Fine, but next time, you're
doing the rough stuff, okay?
Mm-hmm.
- Come here.
- Out of my way.
I said, "Out of my way."
Come on.
Hey, you're all right, love.
You're safe.
I thought we'd let you sleep a
while before I take you home.
Home? No. Take me back to Sister Susie!
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
I don't want to go home.
Give over.
Why not?
They don't like me,
and I don't like them.
Your mum and dad?
Of course you do. Of course they do.
You don't know them.
Look
I used to think I hated my dad
but I didn't really.
I didn't understand him.
Different.
You wait and see.
They'll be happy to have you back.
I don't want to go there.
Please don't make me.
Listen, we've been paid to
get you home, that's all.
So never mind me as long
as you get your money?
No. We just have to get you home.
If you don't want to stay,
you don't have to stay.
Look
Here's my, um, office number
and home address.
If you do go off again, don't
go back to Sister Susie.
She's not kosher, that one.
Call us or come around,
and we'll find you somewhere
safe to lay low. All right?
Job done?
Job done.
So what's wrong?
Money for jam.
No, I'm not complaining.
It is sad, though, innit?
When you look at all
the freedom, prosperity,
and opportunity that we have
and all these lost souls in the world
looking for answers, looking for a home.
Then there's me,
on top of the world, happy as a lark,
rolling in bunce, and for what?
Kicking squaddies in the bollocks?
What's wrong with the world, Daveboy?
Where are the moral values? Thanks.
- Soft git.
- I'm not.
You're taking soft git to a whole
new fucking level, my friend.
- But am I wrong?
- Of course not.
But we're all just dust,
like the hippy lady said.
No point in greeting about
it like a big fucking baby.
Forget I spoke.
Already did.
- Afternoon.
- Hey.
Hard day?
Up and down.
What's the pram for?
Fuck do you think it's for?
- Babies, usually.
- Well, then.
You ain't got a baby in there.
Have I not? There's a relief.
Look, you're supposed to be
working for me, you know?
- I pay your wages.
- Stuff your wages.
Nice. Cheers.
Actually, no.
Sorry, Alfie.
I'm in a right mood,
and I were lashing out.
I retract that comment.
Retraction accepted.
There's a baby in there.
Fuck me, there is.
What have you done now, Bet?
Nice little thing. Doesn't fuss.
Name's Julie.
A baby with blood on her.
You're potty, you are.
I found a Raven ledger with
codenames and addresses,
a whole network of the bastards.
I'll find John Salt,
and I'll scrag him this
time good and proper.
I just need you to babysit.
Bet, I don't know nothing about babies.
- I don't like babies.
- No, no. Me neither.
Can you not ask Peggy, eh?
Peggy's 100 miles away,
and she'd say no any road.
What about your mum? She around?
My mom's already got a job.
Bet, forget about John Salt.
Get on with your life.
Okay, on me own then, as usual.
Bet, don't be like that. Look, wait.
No, no, I know who me friends are.
Come on, Julie. We'll go elsewhere.
We know where we're not wanted.
See what I mean?
Where are the moral values?
Hey.
- Hey.
- Daddy!
- There she is.
- Yay!
Oh, come here. Oh, glad
to see you, sweetie.
Mm.
Hey. How was your day?
It was boring, as usual. Yours?
- Uh, same.
- Mm.
Uh, you're back early.
I felt like I wanted to
be home with Sam,
so I took the afternoon off.
Well, me too.
Mm, great minds, huh?
Mm.
- Is my is my dad home?
- Mm-hmm, in their room.
Virginia just got back from
sightseeing and shopping.
- My God, she knows how to shop.
- Mm.
Did, um did he speak to you at all?
No.
I mean, we spoke, but not about
anything in particular, really.
Why? Did you speak with him?
- I did.
- And?
- Why?
- "Why"?
Well, uh, why did you ask?
No reason.
Just making conversation.
He might have said why he's here.
He didn't.
He said, uh Well,
he said a lot of things.
Nothing important.
- Whoa, Sam, that is
- Oh!
That is so great.
Oh! Well, now we got
to build another one.
Well, um, that's great.
I guess he's actually here to see Sam.
- Mm.
- Me! Here to see me!
Yes. That's right, honey.
He's here to see you.
Well?
I'm working on it.
- Did you talk to him?
- I did.
And?
I said I'm working on it.
What does that mean?
He didn't even know she
was active MI5, okay?
That's that's what I'm working with.
He said that?
Yeah, okay? So give me some time.
And you believed him?
Yeah, I did. He's my son. I know him.
You're telling me you're a
good judge of character?
- Me, of all people?
- Fuck you.
Excuse me?
I know my own son.
He doesn't know anything.
It's gonna take some time
to make this work.
- That's all I'm saying.
- No. What you said was eff you.
- That's what you said to me.
- For which, I apologize.
This is a tense situation. I'm tense.
I understand you're tense,
but you don't speak to me like that.
You know I can't tolerate bad language.
- I shared that with you.
- Ginny, I understand
You don't understand anything.
Not even your own son.
He knows what she does.
He was playing you. Look at me!
Say it.
He was playing me.
- I'll talk to him again.
- Don't take no for an answer.
You're his father.
I am mandated to do whatever
I need to do to get a win here.
Not just allowed
mandated
whatever I need to do.
Understand?
Tell me something good.
The girl is in place. Shall we proceed?
Yes, go ahead.
You have the green light
for tomorrow morning.
I can't just forget ♪
My darling, I'll never know why ♪
You left without saying bye-bye ♪
Right.
Oh, yes. Hello. Good morning.
Um, I'm calling in response
to your advertisement in the newspaper.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
My name is
Oh, no, we don't want any.
Thank you very much.
Uh, but nice of you to call.
Blimey, salesman.
They don't stop, do they?
You phoned them, didn't you?
Me? No.
Well, I didn't hear the phone ring.
Well, it did. Otherwise,
why would I answer it?
You all right?
- Wrong side of the bed?
- Yeah. No, bad dream.
- Was your father in it?
- No.
Ooh, he's been bothering
me in my dreams,
something chronic
leaping out from dark corners
like an hobgoblin.
Does he do that with you?
No. It's a girl I know.
Oh, well, that sort of dream.
When are you gonna settle down, Alfie?
You need children.
You keep telling me that,
but you never say why.
I mean, what are they for?
My life's pukka as it is.
Help me.
Oh!