Sanjay and Craig (2013) s03e01 Episode Script

1 - Looking for a pet one day Sanjay found a talking snake And the perfect match was made Jumped into his arms to say Sanjay and Craig - The stuff they get to is insane Sanjay and Craig - They're in the Best Friends Hall of Fame Sanjay and Craig - There is no Best Friends Hall of Fame They made it up! - Aww yes! - Direct hit! - Gotcha! Ha ha! Whoa! Hector, Craig, attack formation alpha.
- Aye, Captain! - Yes, Captain! He's still kicking! - Meh-meh-meh-meh-meh- meh-meh-meh-meh.
- Megan, use your mind waves.
- Aye, Captain.
Oh, he's confused.
Hit him in the brain! - Hector, look out.
- Huh? - I want to be the head.
- Sanjay, honey, can you run to the Frycade and pick up an order of wings for dinner? Pop-Pop needs food now.
- Okay, boys, you heard your father.
Wrap up your little game.
- Mom, it's not a game.
It's a space mission.
- Yeah, Earth to Mom.
Can't you see we're in space? - Space, huh? I think I'm actually hearing a distress call from deep space.
- Hmm.
Go on.
Help me, Captain Sanjay.
You're my only hope.
- Hmm, I like the sound of that.
- We desperately need wing-tanium.
King Quasar is shrinking at an alarming rate.
Pop-Pop .
- Don't worry, Your Majesty.
We won't let you down.
Crew! - Aye, Captain.
- Yes, Captain.
- Prepare for opening credits! Hyah! - Let's beam inside.
- Dudes, we looked so cool beaming into this place.
Whoa, look at this place! - Let's keep our heads down and get to that wing-tanium.
- Pen-E! Hmm? One order of wing-tanium, please.
- I'm gonna assume you mean chicken wings, 'cause that's all we got.
Aah! - The wing-tanium process is incredible.
Order up.
Fresh and hot.
- Thank you! Mission half complete.
- Oh, yeah! - Let's get these wings back to King Quasar.
Huh? Pew-pew-pew.
- Hmm Set thrusters to hover mode.
Four life forms detected.
- Noodman, what are you doing? - Open transmission stream.
- Apologies, Captain.
It looked like you and your crew needed some assistance beaming back to your ship.
- You know space talk? - Affirmative! I used to partake in space games with my childhood friends.
- Look, Noodman, we're on an important mission to deliver this wing-tanium to my home planet.
- Yeah! - At ease, Number Two.
- Well, I could help you deliver that wing-tanium super fast, because my ship has hyperspeed.
Pew-pew! Pew-pew! - Uh, one moment.
What do you think? Should we trust him? - No, Noodman stinks.
He can't help us.
- But King Quasar is shrinking fast.
- I don't know if we can trust Noodman, though.
- Exactly.
- But we really need to get that wing-tanium back.
- And Noodman has speed.
- Hmm, let's give it a go, then? - You're gonna be my new space dad! - Dude, what are you doing? - If he does one wrong thing, we'll lose him, okay? - I won't let you guys down.
- Uh - Assemble! - I'll secure the wing-tanium.
Meow-meow-meow- meow-meow-meow.
- Oh, very impressive.
Oh, wow, you have a Compu-tron 7000! And a fleep-florp.
- Well, I must say, you have a great ship.
- "Well, I must say" Thanks for telling us what we already know.
- I think Craig means "thanks.
" Anyway, is the wing-tanium secure? - I've wrapped it in my mind force.
So, if anything happens to it, my brain will explode.
- That sounds really dangerous, but also really cool, so I'll allow it.
Noodcat, take a seat.
This is my chair.
See, it says, uh, Hector.
That's, uh, my nickname.
Guess you'll have to stand.
- Oh, it's okay.
I've got my own seat.
- Mine's cooler.
- Glad we're all getting along.
Whoa! - We're being attacked! - It's Tyson! - Whoa! We got to speed up! - Engage hyper speed! - Is the wing-tanium okay? Is the wing-tanium okay? - Craig! - Wing-tanium secure.
- All right, flip it! Return fire! - Perfect shot! His shields are at 10%.
- Shoot him again! - Easy, Chief.
His shields are down.
You don't kick a beaver in the tooth while he's flossing.
- Yes, Captain.
- Captain, the only logical option is to beam aboard and subdue him.
- Number Two, it's too risky.
- I have to disagree, Captain.
I admire your path of least violence, but your Number Two is positively correct.
- Huh? Hmm.
- Very well, Noodcat.
You'll stay behind and monitor the situation.
Chief, Lieutenant, Number Two, you're with me.
- Uh, thanks for going with my plan, Noodcat, but I still don't trust you! Here, you can have this.
Just don't get cat hair all over it.
- Thank you, Hector.
- See? Maybe he's okay.
- Maybe.
- Good luck, team! Mwah! Grab it! - Oh, uh, mm.
Thanks, Space Dad.
Whoa! Are you playing your little baby space games again? - Have at him, Chief! - It would take a hundred of you little runts to defeat Ow! Get off me.
You're really heavy.
Ow! - That was easy.
- He's all yours, Captain.
- Why are you attacking us, Tyson? We're on a peaceful delivery mission.
- Ha ha.
'Cause he gave me five quid.
- "He"? - Something's happened to the wing-tanium.
You have fallen right into my trap, and now your precious wing-tanium is all mine! - He's taking our ship.
Ta-ta, twerps! No! How could he do that? - I told you, dude.
- I thought he'd changed.
I thought - Listen, you're a sweet and kind prince, Sanjay.
He just took advantage of that, but you're still our cappy-wappy.
Now, what are your orders? - Noodcat.
We get the wing-tanium back! Megan, can you fly this thing? - Yes.
- For King Quasar! - Oh, Pop-Pop Ooh.
- Yes! Ha ha ha! - Hey, get back here! Entering Planet Noodulon.
- There he is! Stop this madness! That wing-tanium is to save King Quasar's life! You must let us have it.
- Oh, I'll let you have it, all right.
- Fleep-Florp, no! - Huh, he's fine.
Noodman, you're a monster! - Oh, you want to see a monster, do you? You are so pathetic! I'm a monster! - No! - Fleep-Florp, no! Fleep-Florp, no! Ah, he'll be okay.
- I'm immortal.
- Huh? Wha Ow-wee! Ow, ow-wee! What? - It's okay, Hector.
- Ow.
It hurts.
- My mom can help you when we get inside.
- Uh, well, you have to get past my force field first.
- Time-out, time-out.
You took it too far, Noodman.
- Yeah.
Why did you become a bad guy? - I've just always been the bad guy.
That was the only way the neighborhood kids would let me play.
- Those kids sound mean.
You could've just stayed a good guy with us.
- Really? - Yeah.
We were having fun.
- Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think this belongs to you.
And I'm sorry for hurting you, Hector.
- I already forgot what happened.
- And I'm sorry for stepping on you, Fleep-Florp.
- Mission accomplished, guys.
Now, let's go actively force this wing-tanium down King Quasar's food tube.
- Oh, hey, Noodman! - Huh? - So I was thinking I don't know.
You want to have dinner with us? No.