Shtisel (2013) s03e01 Episode Script

1
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A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Don't move. Not even an inch.
Dvorah, sweetheart.
Daddy's coming to calm you down.
-Kive?
-One second.
-Don't let her cry.
-I'm going to her.
Don't move.
Bring her closer.
Seeing me will calm her down.
My parents had
that same argument all the time.
My father always says
that as long as there's no danger,
you can let the kids cry a bit,
so as not to spoil them.
What did your mother say?
That the greatest danger
is the feeling no one cares about you.
There you are, honey.
I wish I could breastfeed her again.
Even once.
IZZI KAUFFMAN
Kauffman?
Maybe he's right.
Maybe you should sell it.
We could sure use the money.
There's no way, Libbi.
I'll sell many things, many paintings.
But not these.
Okay.
SPIRITUAL MANAGER, RABBI SHTISEL
Ruchami, honey.
Yes, Grandpa?
Sorry to interrupt your psalms.
I wanted to make sure
you called Meshulem Amdur for me.
There's no answer.
Shouldn't you keep trying, then?
Sure, here.
Did you get a hold
of Moishale Tabak's secretary?
No, but I wouldn't worry
too much, Grandpa.
Veinstadt, Vachtfoigel and Buchsbaum
will all be at the fundraiser.
All three of them confirmed.
But that's not enough.
-They're wealthy, too, aren't they?
-They are, indeed.
But what I need right now
is to get the Cheder out of debt.
Wealthy men won't do.
I need a Nogid for that.
No less than a Nogid.
-A Nogid?
-Yes, a Nogid.
The kind of Jew you ask
for a thousand and he pulls out a million.
-Come on, pick up!
-It's not worth getting upset over.
-But why wouldn't the Jew answer?
-Why wouldn't He answer?
What do we know?
"For my plans are not your plans."
God willing, you'll go
on maternity leave this year, Ruchami'le.
Amen.
There's a big mess
with the fundraiser choir.
Some kid gave Blumenstock lip
and stole his baton.
Hey!
Go, go, go!
I want to know right now, this instant,
who stole Rabbi Blumenstock's
conducting baton?
Go on.
Let one righteous man rise up
and tell me what exactly happened!
I'll tell the Headmaster, exactly!
Shame on you, you brat!
Get out of here and don't come back
without your parents!
Together! Both of them!
Go on, children.
Go back to your classrooms
and think about what you did wrong.
Thank you, Lippe.
-I'm stepping out, okay?
-Sure.
Hold on with that cigarette.
I found your match.
Slow down, Menucha.
You'll cause an accident.
-Who are you talking about, Yosa'le?
-Him and Shira Levinson.
Her father is the wallpaper salesman.
She's a wonderful, beautiful girl.
She's got features to die for.
Did you think I was just sitting around?
I was hard at work.
I may be a widow, but I work.
By the way, I work even when I sit around.
Hold on, would you like me
to fix you a plate?
No, I don't eat as much as I used to.
Half a plate.
By the way, when was the last time
you checked how old is your son?
Yosa'le?
-He'll be turning 19 on Purim.
-So?
So what?
How many girls has he met so far?
He's young.
He hasn't started looking for a match yet.
I wasn't talking to you.
-Lippe's right. He is
-He's a fine boy indeed.
Thank God, bless his heart.
Bless his heart.
So why does he deserve
to be an aging bachelor, God forbid?
But he's still a boy, Menucha.
He wants to study, what's the rush?
Are you really asking me that?
Am I the only one who can see the cloud
hovering over the Weiss family?
What are you talking about?
Can I talk to you in private for a minute?
I'm going out for a smoke.
All the best, Menucha.
All the best.
This horseradish! They don't serve
horseradish like this in Hell!
Giti'le, don't get me wrong.
I love you very much,
and I also like your righteous husband.
If people are talking, let them talk.
-What are they talking about?
-They talk, run their mouths.
God has given them a tongue,
so they're using it.
I tell them,
"Excuse me, it's not the boy's fault.
He's a good boy, a fine boy."
But no one would consider
Yosa'le for their daughter.
Giti, what you
and that righteous husband of yours
have thrown up in here a long time ago,
people haven't even started digesting yet.
I'm setting up a meeting
with Levinson for you.
I promised them an answer by tonight.
Oh, Yosa'le.
How are you? How far along are you?
I'm actually here for me,
for the Yeshiva Head's advice
in a matter unrelated to my studies.
I'm all ears. What is it?
My parents have suddenly started
pressuring me into considering matches.
There's a proposal on the table.
They say it's special,
an opportunity that cannot be passed.
So what's the problem?
Why won't you move forward?
Right, Yeshiva Head, my mother
is pressuring me to move forward.
But why should she need to?
You said yourself it's a good proposal.
Right, but I didn't plan
to consider matches before my fifth year.
-I still have a lot of work to do here.
-What do you think?
That you stop once you get married?
You get married and you continue to study.
You've got your whole life ahead of you.
If it was anyone else,
I wouldn't have recommended
considering it this early.
But you?
You can do both.
SERMON FOR THE DINNER
SHTISEL
Sucher! What a surprise.
Do you remember Nechama?
Nechama? Yes
No, I don't. Have we met?
Nechama Yoktan.
We got engaged when I was 18,
you were my groom's coach.
Remember, Shulem?
Oh certainly.
Nechama Yoktan. Yes, I remember now.
Well, it's been 50 years.
Nechama, right!
It's coming back to me now.
You canceled your match
and you joined the army or something.
Anyway, you should congratulate us.
Nechama and I are engaged
for the second time.
I was rubbing my eyes.
I couldn't believe them.
My Issachar from back in the day,
selling lottery tickets?
Who would have guessed it?
When I saw her approaching,
she looked just like she did
when she was 18.
I didn't know whether
I was awake or dreaming.
Very nice. God willing,
you will even get married this time.
I've been trying
to go back there for several days,
and I came back.
I bought another ticket,
and this time we exchanged a few words.
-A bit of progress.
-That's nice.
The grand prize came the following week.
Very nice.
What do you mean by "the grand prize"?
What do you mean? She's won the lottery.
The lottery?
Three million shekels.
Would you believe it?
I nearly passed out when he told me.
You don't say!
That was a gift from the Heavens.
I must say, Sucher,
the moment I opened the door and saw
you and your bride standing there,
even before I knew what it was all about,
I immediately said to myself,
"This fine lady has the air of a Nogida."
A Nogida?
That's right, a Nogida.
Dad, I want you to know
I'm going to hold off on the matches.
At least until my fifth year.
Nothing but Torah.
What do you mean?
So why are we going there?
Out of respect for Mom.
You know what, Yosa'le?
I wish that this girl
you are about to meet
will be the woman you'd want to marry.
Do you know why?
The fewer girls you meet,
the less you'll have to compare them to,
and the happier you'll be in life.
That's how it works. Listen to your dad.
There's the hotel. We're here.
Thanks, Dad.
Excuse me.
Are you Shira?
-Yossi?
-Yes.
I go by Yosa'le,
but you can call me Yossi.
We can go sit over there.
-Shall we?
-Yes.
Let's go.
So after arguing
about whether or not it's worth it
to spend 80 shekels on a pool mattress,
my father had to inflate it by himself.
With his mouth, a whole mattress.
It took him a whole hour.
-Poor thing.
-It was actually worth it.
After all that hard work,
we both sat on the mattress.
My father and I,
with the Sea of Galilee all around us.
It was bliss.
-We sang "Oychilo."
-What did you sing?
"Oychilo." You must know it.
I shall await the Lord
I shall entreat his favor
I shall ask Him
To grant my tongue eloquence
-"Ochila."
-Right.
You have a lovely voice.
I'm no singer, really.
It's your turn.
To do what? Sing?
-Here, in the lobby?
-No.
I meant it's your turn
to tell me something about yourself.
Oh right.
What's there to tell?
I love to travel.
Do you mean like family trips
on festival weekdays?
That, too.
But I meant I love to travel by myself.
-I love Ramot Forest.
-Really?
-Aren't you afraid of it?
-On the contrary.
What do you mean?
I go there when I'm scared.
I actually went there before this, too.
I always go to Ramot Forest
when I get scared.
It's 10 minutes away from our house.
-Why were you scared?
-This is scary.
I was so scared I almost didn't come.
See? No harm done.
That's right, but it helped.
I'm somewhat of a scaredy-cat.
Describing oneself
as a scaredy-cat is courageous.
-Look who's here!
-Shh Good morning, Dad.
-I was just on my way out.
-You don't say.
Look at her.
The day hasn't even begun
and she's already asleep.
-Doesn't she go to preschool?
-We were on our way there.
I wanted to catch you
before you left. It's still early.
I'm worried about this fundraiser.
You have no idea how much hassle
Hold on, Kive.
I wasn't dreaming. It really happened.
-What did?
-It's Sucher.
Your mom's brother,
rest her soul, will get married.
-Are you serious?
-And who's his bride, you ask?
The same woman he was engaged to
when he was young.
Nechama Yoktan. It's truly unbelievable.
You don't say. That's great.
But can we not stand around
in the hallway like this?
Right, of course. Come on.
You see?
Just when you thought
you've seen everything a Jew can see,
there goes Sucher,
getting married on you.
That's great.
I'll call to congratulate him.
Dad, I don't want to keep you.
Could you write me a check
for a small sum?
Yes, of course. Just hold this for me.
What is it I'm buying
from you and how much it costs?
It's just a loan.
I just need to pay a few months' rent,
or we'd have nowhere to stay.
And how much money
are we talking about here?
10,000 in total, maybe a bit more.
Actually, 15,000 will be a huge help.
-Fifteen thousand?
-So you can't help me out.
That's not it, Kive.
You need to understand.
I can give you money,
but I'd rather give you a fish.
-A fish?
-A fishing rod. Never mind.
You can't keep this up, Kive.
You need to find work,
earn a living like a decent human being.
You can't sit around,
feeling sorry for yourself.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
Why won't you come stay with me?
What do you say?
Dvorah doesn't cry at night
anymore, does she?
-Almost never.
-Good. You should come.
I can find you work at the Cheder.
I have a job, Dad. I'm a painter.
Just so you know, there are people willing
to pay a lot for my works.
So what's the problem?
The paintings they want to buy
are not ones I'd like to sell.
Kive, don't you know what they say?
If life gives you lemonade, take it!
-Dad
-Best of luck, Kive. All the best.
-Dad.
-Etcetera.
Lippe, fix Menucha a nice plate.
In a minute, my hands are dirty.
Giti, who do you think you are,
the Duchess of Cambridge?
Who do you think your son is,
Prince Charles of London?
He's got some nerve,
not showing up for a meeting
without so much as a phone call!
-What are you talking about?
-I dropped him off there myself.
You did, didn't you?
The girl waited for 90 minutes.
For His Royal Highness Yosa'le Shtisel,
excuse me, Yosa'le Weiss,
to bother to show up.
She was waiting
until she gave up and left.
Hold on, Menucha.
There must be an explanation for this.
Have a seat.
Let me call him
and try to figure this out.
Hello. May I please speak
with Yosa'le Weiss from Year 1?
It's his mother. Thank you.
-Menucha?
-Yes?
Can I offer you something to eat?
No, I lost my appetite.
A small bowl of soup. Thank you.
I asked them to wait outside,
but they just walked in.
Slow down. Who walked in? Where?
So many important guests.
-To what do I owe the honor?
-Have a seat, Rabbi Shulem.
I'm good. What's this all about?
We're here to try and figure out
what to do after something like this.
-How to move forward.
-What are we talking about?
There's been talk around the Cheder.
Let's be honest,
it's gone beyond the Cheder.
It's on WhatsApps and the webs,
about how you hit some poor boy.
Listen, gentlemen.
Excuse me, but you are overreacting a bit.
It's just a boy who had to be spanked.
These things are frowned upon
these days, Rabbi Shulem.
Cheder teachers
can no longer spank children.
-I'm not a teacher, I'm the Headmaster.
-Even more so.
We've considered the matter,
and we have a proposition for you.
You are not a young Jew anymore.
Thank God, as they say, right?
We suggest that during your sermon
at the fundraiser,
you will announce
your retirement from the Cheder.
Retirement? What nonsense!
Do you have any idea how many
children were spanked here?
Weinbach, you yourself were spanked.
"He who spares the rod", and all that.
Who's ever heard of it?
Can't you spank a child anymore?
What has this world come to?
Times have changed, Rabbi Shulem.
The times and the generations.
You should know
we are also making a huge effort
trying to convince Zimmerman's parents
not to go to the police.
Go where?
They agreed to wait,
but only if you take responsibility
and leave the Cheder
right after the fundraiser.
Rabbi Shulem, we're giving you a chance
to leave with your dignity intact.
We could even spread a rumor, if you want,
about a disease of some sort,
God forbid, or whatever.
-I don't
-Good.
Okay.
There is a time for everything,
Rabbi Shulem.
We appreciate all you've done
for the Cheder all those years,
but now it's time to rest.
It went on late.
I didn't want to call
so I wouldn't wake you up.
Hold on, Yosa'le.
Are you sure she told you
that was her name? Did you ask?
What do you mean? She told me
her name was Shira when we met.
-Describe her to me.
-What do you mean?
Please, asking a Yeshiva Boy
to describe a girl?
Was she tall, short?
Her hair color, her clothes?
She was pretty tall, and she wore glasses.
Glasses? Shira Levinson has 20/20 vision.
What?
Shira Levinson doesn't wear glasses.
Excuse me? She had glasses.
My husband and I,
rest his soul, bless his heart,
have been running
this business for decades,
and we've never had anything
as amusing as this happen.
-Amusing?
-This is pure entertainment.
He met the wrong Shira.
I thought these things only happen
in Chaim Walder stories.
I'll talk to the Levinsons and explain.
-Hold on, who's Levinson?
-Patience, Yosa'le.
-Will you talk to them?
-I'll talk to them.
Then I'll set up another meeting,
and if I have to, I'll be there
and make sure you recognize each other.
Glasses
But Mrs. Kenigsberg,
what about the girl I met?
Dad, Mom, I'd like to keep seeing her.
The Shira I met.
-Are you listening?
-We don't even know who she is.
Yosa'le, this isn't like you.
You are a Yeshiva Boy.
So what? We had an amazing connection.
I'm in love with her.
In love?
Where did you even hear that phrase?
Hold on, Giti.
You only met her once, by mistake.
Seriously, Yosa'le.
I am being serious.
Yosa'le, you are a young man.
This is the first girl you've met.
Last night you didn't want
to hear about matches.
Now you're in love?
Why are you opposed to it?
Wait a minute, Giti, Yosa'le.
Maybe it was Godsent, Giti,
that he met the girl he did.
If they had such a good connection.
I want to keep seeing her. Please.
That's enough. I've got customers waiting.
Yosa'le, my dear boy,
we'll set up another meeting
with Shira Levinson.
Everything will work out. I promise.
What's that letter?
It's nothing.
Is it from the landlord?
What does it say?
Nothing. What's there to say?
It says
That if we don't pay in three days,
we'll be evicted.
They're just paintings, Kive.
They're just paintings, sell them.
Let Kauffman sell your paintings
at your exhibition tomorrow.
Who cares whose living room they're in,
ours or some rich guy's?
They're not just paintings.
They're us. They're you.
It's not me. It's just paint on a canvas.
No, it's not just paint on a canvas!
It's all there is.
You promised me.
I asked you and you promised.
But Kive, we need a house to live in.
We need food for Dvorah
and money to pay the bills.
I'm begging you, Libbi.
I'm begging you, don't let me sell them.
No matter what.
I'm begging you.
Rabbi Weinbach, how are you?
I wanted to tell you that you were right.
Rabbi Weinbach
How are you?
-I wanted to tell you
-Hello?
-Rabbi are you, how Weinbach?
-What?
Rabbi Weinbach, I wanted to tell you
you were absolutely right.
-Good, so it's a done deal.
-Right, a done deal.
I made a decision.
I'll do exactly as you said.
No more spanking in our Cheder.
As long as I am Headmaster,
there will be no spanking or anything.
Not this year, not the next,
not in two years' time, nor in five.
-Did you hear me?
-The matter has been settled.
A week from now, you will no longer
be the Cheder's Headmaster.
-Wait, Rabbi Weinbach.
-Just as we agreed, Rabbi Shulem.
You'll take the microphone
at the fundraiser,
and announce your retirement.
But Weinbach, I'm asking you,
let me at least see this year through.
I'm begging you.
We'll discuss it all
again at the end of the year.
I promise you.
I'll respect whatever decision you make.
Anything.
The decision has already been made.
It's over, Rabbi Shulem.
All that's left for you to do
is to write a nice farewell speech.
I'm sorry.
I'll see you later. All the best.
FAREWELL SPEECH FROM THE TALMUD TORAH
-Hello?
-Shulem? He's not responding.
What? Who is this, please?
It's Nechama. Issachar's not responding.
Nechama who? Who's not responding?
Nechama, Issachar's bride.
Oh, Nechume! Why didn't you say so?
How are you doing?
How are the wedding preparations
coming along?
Issachar is lying in bed
and he's not responding.
What do you mean?
We were supposed to go see
a wedding venue today.
He didn't pick up,
so I came to his house.
I found him lying in bed,
and not responding to me.
He's just lying still
and he's not responding.
Do something, Shulem! Help me!
Dear God in Heaven.
What do you want from your Jews?
Rabbi Issachar
son of Rabbi Chaim Shaul.
In the name of Chevra Kadisha,
of your family and friends,
we ask for your forgiveness.
Zvi Aryeh, tell Toby
to give that dear woman a hug.
Forgive us for our errors.
-Who is she?
-Don't ask questions.
A Jewish woman who needs a hug.
Go give her a hug.
Go on.
May you rest in peace and withstand
your destiny until the end of days.
May you speak kindly
of your family and friends,
and may peace and longevity fall upon
Israel for all eternity!
-Amen.
-Amen.
Amen.
I found her, Giti! I found her.
-Who?
-Shira.
The girl Yosa'le has met by mistake.
Her name is Shira Levi.
Don't ask, Giti.
I went through every matchmaker
in the phone book until I found her.
It turns out they have been
looking for the boy as well.
They want to move forward.
Very much so, even.
Who are they?
It's an excellent family.
The father and older brother
are great scholars.
They'll provide a flat,
just like Levinson.
There's only one thing,
that she's a little
A little what?
It's nothing.
They just like their fish a bit spicier
than we do, that's all.
What do you mean?
Do you know what they say
about the Alhambra Decree, Giti?
That those very families,
some of them fled to Eastern Europe,
and some fled to Morocco and such.
Is she Moroccan?
Algerian.
So what's there to talk about?
Giti, this generation is different.
We're all Jews now.
They used to prohibit marrying
-It doesn't mean it's really
-Lippe, please.
Let it go.
Don't even think
about telling Yosa'le you found her.
I want this family to be able
to do one thing right.
-By the book.
-Giti--
Just one thing. Can we?
Weiss, you've got a phone call.
-Hello?
-How are you, Yosa'le? It's Dad.
What's up?
Good. Listen
I went called every single matchmaker
in the phone book, and
And?
I'm sorry. I couldn't find her.
We'll keep looking.
Maybe she's not one of us, you know?
Maybe she's a knitted skullcap
or a Sephardic and all that.
So you haven't called
the knitted skullcap
and Sephardic matchmakers?
-I'll call them.
-No, I called everyone.
She's just nowhere to be found.
I'm sorry, Yosa'le.
But you know,
if she really is your match,
you'll find her.
Your mother wants
to make sure you know we're setting up
another meeting for you
with Shira Levinson,
whom you were supposed to meet
in the first place.
What? I'd rather not.
I'm going back to my original plan.
I don't want to consider any matches now.
Nothing but Torah.
Torah, Torah, Torah.
All the best.
Who am I
Welcome to the fundraiser!
To have the honor of praying
To the Almighty
Who is a great and sublime God
Sacred and holy Creator
You asked us to pray
Oh, I shall pray to Thee
Great God, I shall now pray
Oh, I shall pray to Thee
Gentlemen, it is the way of the world
that when countries are at war,
the losers stand before the victors
and wave a white flag.
This is their way
of saying to the victors,
"We surrender
and acknowledge our defeat,
and accept your authority."
Gentlemen.
Dear donors.
And of course, you,
the babies of the house of Rabban,
whose breath shall decide
the fate of the world.
Lately, strange tides
have been entering our Cheder,
threatening its existence.
As part of these tides,
some have risen up,
who wish to make me leave the Cheder
under false pretense.
I'd like to tell you something.
We are joined by the great benefactor,
the Nogida, Miss Nechama Yoktan,
may she live a long life.
Miss Yoktan has decided
to give a large donation
for the creation of a new Cheder
called Torah of Issachar.
It's named after my dear brother-in-law
whose life has been taken this week.
Parents who wish their children
to continue to be educated
by the purity of our good old way
instilled to us from our masters,
must call the following number.
Good job! Good job!
It's 028006621,
and leave a message,
along with your name, phone number,
and number of children.
Thank you all.
Choir, please.
Yosa'le.
You're here.
Me? You're here.
Right.
I have to go. Goodbye.
Shira, wait. Where are you going?
-Home.
-Wait a minute.
I was just praying I'd see you again
and it happened.
What? You said
you don't wish to move forward.
Excuse me?
My dad talked to all the matchmakers.
He couldn't find you.
Is that what they told you?
Anyway, it was nice seeing you again.
Good night.
Wait a minute, Shira.
I have a phone number
at the Yeshiva I go to.
You can call me.
You don't even have to say who you are.
Just call and ask
for Yosa'le Weiss from Year 1.
They'll get me right away.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Do you have a piece of paper?
Write it down here.
You mean on your hand?
Yes.
It's crooked, but you can read it.
Yes, I can.
The exhibition will be fine. Don't worry.
You're always anxious before these things.
But it'll be good. I promise.
In a few hours, we'll get to go home.
God willing.
Is anyone from your family coming?
Your father? Giti?
No.
They don't even know about it.
It's this little white clasp at the top.
Undo it for me.
Libbi, wait.
Give me a few minutes. To sketch you.
To lay a few lines, just like that,
with the white dress and all.
I can wear it again later.
It won't be the same. Just a few lines.
Do you want to live, or just draw?
Is there a difference?
It'll only be a few minutes.
Just a few minutes.
A few minutes, Kive.
Life is short, you know.
Life is endless, Libbi.
Endless.
Testing, one, two. Good evening.
Good evening.
Welcome to Akiva Shtisel's new exhibition.
Eighteen paintings.
Eighteen paintings
of the artist's wife, Libbi Shtisel,
who had passed away eight months ago.
The artist's wife
as the object of a portrait
is one of the most common
and well-known subjects.
Somewhere between the self-portrait
and portraits of monarchs and patrons.
I believe that one might say
that the artist's wife
is indeed a combination of the two
Thank you for coming.
I hope you enjoyed yourself. Goodbye.
Shtisel, this is for you.
-What is this?
-This is yours, but that isn't.
I don't want it.
Shtisel Good for you.
Hello? Geula Taxi Service?
Hello.
I'd like to call a taxi
for an hour from now.
For one passenger and a baby.
A stroller, painting easel,
and two suitcases.
Hello? Who's there?
-Shh
-What?
Who shushes a Jew in his own home?
Never mind. You woke her up.
Kive?
Dvorah.
Come, sweetheart.
Come to your grandpa.
There.
There you go.
Here, here. Great. Shhh
Sleep, Dvorah.
Welcome to your grandpa's house. Welcome.