Stuck in the Middle (2016) s03e01 Episode Script

1 [Harley.]
Christmas is a magical time of year in the Diaz house, full of holiday traditions the fight over who gets to hang the star on the tree, the fight over who gets the biggest stocking, the fight over I'm realizing it's a lot of fighting.
But one thing we can all agree on is making our pasteles.
I'm going to pretend you didn't use those to dig for worms.
Wait, how long do you steam these pasteles? Rachel, of course, chose the one job she could do without looking up from her phone setting the timer for the steamer.
She also chose to go to France this Christmas with her friend's family, so the pastele train is cut short.
I'll ask Mom.
Never mind.
You're busy.
I guess somebody has to call abuela.
Who wants to This time of year, no one wants to call abuela.
Not because we don't love her.
We have the best abuela in the world.
She even has a T-shirt to prove it.
Will you come to Florida for Christmas? Seeing you all would be the best gift I could get.
[doorbell rings.]
[Harley.]
We always mean to, but we never do, which leads to our least favorite holiday tradition disappointing abuela.
I try to make up for it.
Every year, I make her a special ornament of our family for her tree.
But a special ornament of her family on her tree isn't the same as our actual family around her tree.
Safer, but not the same.
[abuela.]
Steam them for one hour.
I'm making mine tomorrow.
Nobody makes pasteles like your abuela.
I know.
They're the pastel-iest.
So Harley Here it comes.
The ask.
Are you as cringe-y as I am right now? Hot yoga's starting, mijita, gotta run.
She didn't even ask.
Abuela's giving up on us.
We have to go to Florida! Right after urgent care.
Abuela's the only person who actually wants our family to visit.
She didn't even ask? That's bad.
Next year, Florida.
We've been promising that for so long, even I'm not buying it.
Now abuela's lost faith in us.
We have to show her we still have our act together.
You mean lie? You always say Christmas is the season of believing.
I believe we can do this.
You must also believe that a giant money tree just sprouted in the yard, because last-minute plane tickets will be a fortune, Harley.
Hey, Rachel ditched us for France.
That's one less plane ticket to buy.
I know how we can pay for the trip.
Don't buy us kids the big family gift we picked out.
Huh.
I guess if you all want to Yes! Start decking those halls, abuela.
We're coming for Christmas, and this year, we mean it.
Promise.
The other kids are good with this? You want us to give up our pool table?! [angry clamoring.]
That is a ho-ho-horrible idea.
[clamoring continues.]
Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you It took four months for us to agree on the pool table as our big gift, and now you want us to give it up? If anyone would like to be my new BFTF, there's an opening.
I knew we should've went with crocodile moat.
This wouldn't be a problem.
It'd be half dug by now.
Classic Diaz family over-think.
I can't go to Florida.
I've spent months collecting toys for the toy drive here.
Just drop them off before we leave.
Drop off.
Listen to you.
The best part of the drive is matching gift to receiver.
And I don't wanna brag, but finding the perfect gift for each person is kind of my super power.
It's true.
How do you think we came up with the pool table? Are you eating pasteles? You gave back our perfect gift.
Maybe lose the judge-y.
I feel bad we can't go, but abuela will understand.
She loves us, even though we're us.
Okay, I didn't wanna have to tell you guys this, but when I called her earlier, she didn't even ask if we were coming to visit her for Christmas.
[all gasp.]
What?! No guilt trip? No "seeing you all would be the best gift I could get"? - 'Fraid not.
- We broke abuela.
This all feels so wrong now.
Guys, no one does the holidays like abuela.
Plus, a beach Christmas? That's the best of two seasons jammed into one.
So who's with me? [all.]
Beach Christmas! I made abuela my most special ornament ever.
Cool, huh? Press the button, and let it snow.
And best of all, none of these little Diazes have to shovel it.
Just gotta store it somewhere safe.
We found the sleeper seats.
Is that the flight attendant? Order me a cranberry juice.
Guys, that's where the luggage goes.
We didn't bring luggage.
Georgie's using it.
Beach vacation.
Harley, all you need is a bathing suit.
You're not supposed to be up there.
Santa knows when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, and he knows when you're annoying the entire coach section of an airplane.
Eh.
We've been so bad this year, we've already blown it.
We're usually on the coal list by Valentine's Day.
Santa's super old.
He's lucky if he remembers to put his pants on before he gets in the sleigh.
These last few days are the only thing he's gonna remember.
Lewie, we got a do-over.
We're back in the gift game.
We gotta get outta here before Santa sees.
Or Dad sees.
You're punished.
Get outta there.
Excuse me, sir.
Don't be alarmed.
I'm just using your left shoulder as a step.
He's not.
You're not.
[Georgie.]
Sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday is meaningful to you and your family.
Excuse me, miss.
You're gonna have to check that.
I can't.
I already checked five bags of toys.
He's for a very special yet-to-be determined underprivileged child, and he can't be damaged.
I'll just put him under the seat.
He looks bigger than he is.
Oh! Piece of cake.
Do you like cake? I love it.
Chocolate, vanilla, marble, black forest, Bundt.
You know what? You go ahead and do your thing, I'll make us a list, okay? Why are you wearing my seat? It said these can be used as flotation devices.
I'm taking this body surfing.
Why don't you use your own? We need those in case of emergency.
They're your brothers, it's Christmas.
Your brothers.
It's Christmas.
Whoever's assigned to that seat isn't going to let Deathnee sit there.
That's the point.
There's always an extra seat on a plane.
So we need to make whoever's sitting here want to sit over there.
No one changes seats to avoid a doll with a bad haircut.
She's the first line of attack.
Me and you are the second.
Sick or crying.
Which one do you want? I'm not pretending to be [crying and coughing.]
It's too bad we couldn't all get seats together.
Yeah, but, you know, last-minute tickets, kids can't sit in exit rows.
You didn't even try, did you? The kids are locked in a tube with paid babysitters.
We got aisle seats, and you're gonna question this? Oh, here you go, sir.
This seat is empty.
"Welcome aboard Where To Air.
Generic greeting welcoming passengers.
" Oh, shoot, I'm supposed to fill that in.
Anyway, we'll be dashing through the skies, and reaching Florida in two hours and 15 minutes.
[seatbelt bell dings.]
Look at all those other dummies, squished together, sharing arm rests.
We are so the smartest Diaz kids.
Hello, fellow travelers, and Santa, who might be listening.
As a special gift for this holiday season, please enjoy arm fart "Jingle Bells," brought to you by the one and only Lewie and Beast Diaz.
Yeah, maybe we keep that Diaz thing to ourselves.
- Yeah.
- Feel free to sing along.
Don't call the flight attendant.
Keep this between the three of us, and these are yours.
And there's more where that came from.
I'm watching Heather's Cottage, and Lord Dalliwag just died of consumption.
Do you have a tissue? Please give me a real challenge.
The parent pouch holds all.
Harley made it.
This puppy is completely waterproof, fireproof, and thief-proof.
Thief-proof? There's a dollar bill hanging out of it.
[alarm sounds.]
[Harley's voice.]
Stop, thief, stop, thief.
Harley didn't explain this feature.
[alarm and Harley's voice continue.]
Uh, do you have an eight? Hit the bricks, loser.
You're supposed to say go fish.
I know.
Party's over.
Nice try, but I know that routine.
Even the plane's telling you to leave.
- [bell dings.]
- Put your seatbelt on.
"We're very sorry to inform you, but due to storms in our flight path, our plane is being diverted to Columbus, Ohio.
" - [passengers exclaiming.]
- Ohio?! That's nowhere near abuela.
"We'll be landing soon.
Express sympathy and final pass through cabin.
" Shoot.
Did it again.
Excuse me, miss.
My family has Christmas plans in Florida.
How soon till we can get another flight? How many of you are there? - Eight.
- We can cut this guy loose.
Well, based on the storm and re-booking, we should probably have you there by New Year.
But we'll miss Christmas.
You won't miss Christmas.
You'll be having it at the airport.
Okay, we need a plan.
We are not "Christmas at the airport" people.
Exactly.
Our water wings will do us no good here.
Unless they have a fountain.
Does a fountain of bad ideas count, 'cause that's you.
Leave it to us to travel two hours to get further away from abuela than where we started.
We'll have to wait it out here for a few days.
If we're lucky, the airport won't run out of cinnamon buns.
But we made a promise to be there for Christmas.
Abuela's going to think this is one more time we didn't try.
And last year, we claimed we were on our way, and got diverted, so we used that bullet.
We did? Darn.
There goes my big idea.
Look, I know we're all disappointed, but what can we do? I know one thing you can do.
Get off the plane.
We landed 20 minutes ago.
This isn't over, guys.
Flying's not the only way to travel.
[all yelling.]
[Ethan.]
Keep your hands to yourself.
Just 20 hours to Florida.
Start the car, Dad.
There go the keys.
I'm just gonna scoot the seat back.
Ow! That's my favorite leg.
Sir, you must have something bigger.
Sorry.
These are the last two cars I have to rent.
Holiday rush and all.
We're gonna have to take turns breathing.
When I inhale, someone exhale.
[Harley.]
What about that? That's the perfect size for us.
Some rock group was supposed to come pick it up, but their flight got re-routed.
You ever hear of Pants Inferno? No? Me neither.
But that's not for regular drivers.
It requires a Class B license.
I have one.
With seven kids, I'm always one kid away from needing a bus for basic family transportation.
I'll give you a deal on it.
But if you see Pants Inferno, play dumb.
Rock star tour bus.
This road trip is on! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad our plane got diverted.
Forget Pants Inferno.
The Diaz family is rolling like jingle bell rock stars.
And we're still on track to be at abuela's by Christmas.
Stop the bus! Deathnee's missing! Deathnee's missing? I know you had her at the airport.
I saw the other passengers recoiling as you walked off the plane.
And I got stuck with Lewie and Beast in my rental car, 'cause Deathnee needed room to spread.
I can track her on my phone.
I planted a microchip after that day we spent digging up the backyard because Daphne forgot where she buried her alive.
So, where is she? Relax.
She's only sixty miles away.
Moving in the opposite direction? We left her in the rental car.
- Oh! - We did what?! All right, everyone, just like we practiced.
No sudden movements.
Back away slowly.
Don't panic.
We lost Deathnee, but we have eyes on.
My chip has an RF signal that will pinpoint her exact location.
I've never been so glad you're a nerd.
How on earth did we leave her in the rental car? Oh, this happened because you were all too distracted.
That's it.
Devices here.
- Come on.
- Nope.
- But - Nope.
Put these in your man-purse.
It's called a parent pouch.
I'll also accept dad bag.
Call it what you want.
Deathnee's on the loose.
Let's go.
I don't wanna make another stop.
I've been holding in my pee since we left, just so I can go in the ocean.
Me, too.
Press on.
Great.
I'll let Santa know you chose ocean pee over your sister's favorite doll.
Dad, turn this thing around.
What kind of lunatic would drive 30 miles on unpaved road? Maybe Deathnee ditched the family and she's at the wheel.
I picked the wrong year to make abuela a glass ornament.
We're approaching a campground.
According to this, Deathnee should be right here.
Tom, stop the bus.
Okay, kids, let me and your mom go over there.
Uh, too late.
Play time's over.
Give it, girl.
Her name is Joya, and she doesn't want to give you the doll.
You've got two seconds before I get all up in that.
Sorry.
It's just that Deathnee's more than a doll.
She's my daughter's best friend.
Her only friend.
She's not that nice.
I don't know who you are, or how you found us, or what strange family band you're fronting.
We are trying to enjoy our annual holiday trip, and frankly, this feels aggressive.
Oh, I'll show you aggressive.
Whoa, whoa.
Merry Christmas.
I just saved you a tetanus shot.
Hang on.
What if Joya gets a different doll? I've got a whole bunch for the toy drive.
She could just pick one.
No.
She's mine! I love her.
It's the only doll she's ever liked.
She's the only doll I ever liked.
He's got two seconds before I'm all up in that.
I'll give you three suitcases of toys for Deathnee.
But, Georgie, that's your entire toy drive.
You've been collecting that for months.
Yeah, but, what I love most about the toy drive is matching people to the perfect gift.
And Deathnee is your perfect gift.
Yay! Campfire smoke? It's called emotion, Harley.
Did you not see what just happened here? You're a good big sister.
But what about your toy drive? I'll have to get more toys.
Not sure how, but Christmas is the season of believing, right? Hey, look, a penny.
Face up.
It's good luck.
And we could use some luck.
- Ooh, that's - It's possible I forgot to zip the pouch.
Ironically, the only thing that didn't slip out of Dad's hand was this.
This is what I put on the parent pouch to keep thieves from bragging it.
Yeah, my whoopsy daisy slippery spray-sies.
Yeah, that's more fun to say when I'm not this upset.
I just hope Santa doesn't think this was our fault.
Yeah.
This has Lewie and Beast written all over it.
No, even you guys haven't destroyed this much this fast.
Guys, enough with the faces.
I got Deathnee back.
This is all that matters.
And I thought you and that doll - couldn't get any weirder.
- [laughter.]
Daphne was right.
What matters at the holidays is being with the ones you love.
All our valuables were melted into a doorstop, but there was just enough gas to make it to abuela's like we promised.
Who's ready for the best beach Christmas ever? Road trip, road trip, road trip! And then it happened.
[brakes screech.]
My worst nightmare.
I'm gonna need to update my worst nightmare list.
Okay, so we have no food, no money, no credit cards, and no phones.
But at least we made it to a repair shop before the bus broke down.
That's pretty lucky.
I'd feel luckier if I wasn't carrying the transmission in a beach bag.
I know Christmas is about believing, but right now, it's kinda hard to believe we have any chance to make it to abuela's.
If we can get the repairs done by tonight, we can drive straight through and still make it for Christmas Eve.
Buddy Burtz.
Saw you pull up.
Your rock and roll bus is a whole lotta rock, and very little roll.
Buddy, can you be a buddy and fix it by Christmas? Sure.
Just not this Christmas.
I think I've established myself as the expert on giving up, and in my expert opinion, it's time to call it.
Hey, this family does not give up.
Mess up, yes.
Give up, no.
Harley, let's be honest.
We could've already called this game on account of storm.
Fire, doll-napping.
Wow, this has been a terrible trip.
I mean, it's not like abuela will be alone.
Uncle Jake's family goes every year.
We all want abuela to think we have it together, but this scorched ball of everything we own says otherwise.
- Yeah.
And my video game - [game chimes weakly.]
is way less fun this way.
- [phone ringing.]
- What? One of the phones is working.
Probably a telemarketer.
Don't answer.
[ringing continues.]
It's abuela.
What do we do? I Tell her we can't make it.
I'll lean away so I'm not part of that.
Me? Why me? You've established yourself as the leader, so lead abuela to disappointment.
[ringing continues.]
Abuela, hi.
My Harley.
I just realized this is the first year I'll get my special ornament delivered by you, not the mailman.
[nervous laugh.]
Well, that I'm really sorry Don't apologize.
Your timing is perfect.
Uncle Jake just called.
His whole family is down with the flu.
Without you all, I'd be spending Christmas alone.
So when do I see mis preciosos? Hang on.
Ethan has something he wants to say.
Abuela! Papi! I hope you brought your guitar.
I told my aqua aerobics class you would play.
Acoustic, though.
We are in the water.
Oops.
Georgie's grabbing the phone.
My athlete.
Exciting news.
I signed us up for a pickle ball tournament.
How's your smack talk? I I, um Needs some work.
I'll coach you when you get here.
My babies! When do you arrive? Uh Abuela, we can't - tell you when.
- Oh! We want it to be a surprise when we get there.
Can't wait.
A surprise if we get there.
And then our plane got diverted, and our stuff fell in the fire, and the ornament I made got smashed.
You ever try squeezing nine figurines into an ornament that never mind.
Let's just say this trip hasn't been great.
But you can turn it around, so what do you say? [sighs.]
Buddy, you can lie there and ignore me, but I'm not leaving till you fix this bus.
Hey, thanks.
You found my boots.
I've been sportin' my spiffy Christmas socks.
I gotta show 'em off.
[laughs.]
Hey, I found your boots, you fix our bus.
Look at us, working together.
Wish I could.
We're full up.
Vehicles break down left and right this time of year.
Know why Santa uses a sleigh? Car's in the shop.
[chuckles.]
I find humor helps when I'm stressed.
An elf, a reindeer, and a snowman walk into Santa's workshop.
[forced laughter.]
Funny.
So, about the bus.
I don't know if you're familiar with jokes, but that's what we call the set-up.
Good to know.
Like I was saying, we're trying to get to our abuela's for the holiday, and you're our only hope.
You folks seem like nice people.
Problem is, it's just yours truly on duty.
[sighs.]
My brothers are training for the Iron Elf.
[forced laugh.]
Iron Elf.
Uh, that one wasn't a joke.
You really don't get comedy, do you? The Iron Elf is a Christmas relay race that's been run in this town for years.
My whole family does it.
And you don't want to? Oh, I do.
More than anything.
And they let me once, years ago, but I messed up.
After that, they gave my spot to someone they could count on.
He may be outside the family, but Mailman Frank does show up every day.
Guy's rain or shine.
Uh, no ding on the awesomeness of Mailman Frank, but your brothers seem like jerks.
Nah.
Just competitive.
It's fine.
I'm good.
Big family.
Used to bein' overlooked.
You know.
Actually, yeah.
I do.
Middle kid of seven.
Sometimes I feel like the Wednesday of the family.
You know, that day no one really notices.
I like that.
Wednesday.
I'm a Wednesday in a family of Fridays.
[laughs.]
I will pay you double if you fix our bus first.
My family is at the bank right now.
I guess I could do that for a fellow Wednesday.
Oh! Well, consider yourselves lucky.
You squeaked in just before I locked up.
[all chuckling.]
If you'll just slide your card through the reader.
Of course.
We had a little mishap.
[laughing.]
Makes it easier to find the card in my purse though.
Looks like the card reader's broken.
It's okay though.
You can just give us the money.
Look, you have no ID, no functioning bank card, and you expect me to just hand over some cash? I'm sorry.
You're gonna have to come back after the holidays with proper ID.
Please don't forget your blob.
[clears throat.]
Ma'am, if I may.
What are your plans for the holidays? You mean after this conversation? My family is coming over tomorrow night.
I'm cooking a ham.
Have you ever been on a disastrous holiday road trip? The kind that's so emotionally trying, it eats your soul.
Makes you wonder if Santa himself is testing you, but you keep going, because you know that somewhere, your loved one is waiting with open arms.
Yes.
My brother Ted.
He lives in Abilene, and I haven't seen him in over three years.
Christmas just isn't the same.
You know what? I'm gonna call Corporate.
We're gonna work this out.
Here's a withdrawal slip.
Just write in what you need, okay? Freeze! Nobody move! Hey, they said the magazines from the airplane were complimentary.
Somebody triggered the silent alarm.
Well, it wasn't me.
How would I know? I see a button, I push it.
It's who I am.
We'll just take the cash and get outta your hair.
Twenties are fine.
SorryMy brothers haveney, this crazy rule about workin' for free don't do it.
Better being ignored than yelled at.
We'll work off the bill.
Wash the floors, organize the tools.
I once alphabetized all the food in our kitchen.
I could do your box of donuts.
Chocolate, cruller, crumb.
Wait.
He said he'd rather be ignored than yelled at.
That's middle-kid speak.
And being one myself, I know what every overlooked middle kid wants.
- To be appreciated.
- Maple claw What if we helped you prove yourself to your family? You can't help me find a girlfriend.
Not this time of year.
People have shopping to do.
By running that race your brothers won't let you do.
That'll be tough without a team.
You've got one.
We win that race, you fix our bus.
You know my sweet spot, Wednesday.
Um Buddy.
Maybe you could've mentioned that the Iron Elf is more circus act than race.
What? No.
It's a race.
With a high wire and a trapeze and Huh.
How did I not see that before? Uh, speaking of circus, here come the clowns.
My brothers.
It's not as bad as it sounds; I like clowns.
What brings you here, Buddy? Oh, did you lock yourself out again? At least this time, you've got your boots.
I'm here for the same reason you are, Benny.
To win the Iron Elf.
Well, with what team? My family.
They asked me.
Really? Well, all right then.
Good luck.
You're gonna need it after what he did last time on this course.
We know what he did, and we don't care.
What did you do? Not that we care.
It's not what I did; it's what I didn't do.
Finish my event.
It was called the leap of faith.
All I had to do was jump from a platform to a trapeze bar.
Don't be a loser, Buddy.
Jump! My knees turned to jelly.
The only thing that kept me from peeing myself was the folks standing below.
We lost the race Hey, do we have to win this thing, or does participation count? If we get points for injuries, we might stand a chance.
Okay, yes, the course is high.
And yes, the others are more prepared.
But the Diazes never prepare for anything.
Flying by the seat of our pants is what we do best, and here, we're literally flying by the seat of our pants.
Winning this is the only thing standing between us and our family Christmas.
So let's do this, because our name isn't Di-no.
It's Di-yes! [all.]
Di-yes, Di-yes, Di-yes, Di-yes.
[laughs.]
I'm not technically a Diaz, but the speech really got me.
Welcome to the 23rd annual Iron Elf competition.
So nice to see everyone here.
Well, almost everyone.
We have four teams of Santa's helpers competing.
One team member must complete each event in order to get a gift to put in Santa's sleigh.
When all three gifts are wrapped, and put in the sleigh, the first team to get from the starting line to the finish line will be crowned Iron Elf champions! So the race begins at sundown, teams.
Enjoy a complimentary glass of eggnog, and a slice of Kringle, and then suit up, because you're about to begin the race of your life! Okay, Kringle! Okay, Buddy, you're doing the leap of faith.
- But that's the one I couldn't - I know.
But today's the day you show your family who you really are.
I have faith in you.
Christmas is the season of believing.
Thanks, kid.
Champions, take your sleighs.
Iron Elves, are you ready? Hey.
May the best elves win.
Oh, we will.
I didn't squeeze into this reindeer suit to lose.
[raucous laughter.]
Speaking of which.
What?! So it's easy for everyone to see the winners.
On your marks.
Get set.
- [rings bells.]
- Yeah! Yes, Lewie.
Go, Ethan, to the swing.
Let's go.
Come on.
Lewie and Beast, come on, guys.
Three Santas in the chimney, then we grab our gift for Santa's sleigh.
It's okay, Beast.
He knows it's part of the game.
- Okay.
- Throw it.
- Come on! - Seriously? You're gonna box out a kid with Santa on Christmas? Beast, go around them like you're going for the last piece of bacon.
- [Tom.]
I know you can do it, Beast.
- Yes! Yeah! Stuck the landing, Santa! Get ready, Georgie.
Those challenge gifts are coming your way.
You wrap them, I'll put 'em in here.
I've been coached by a lot of people.
Never a reindeer.
We have to win this thing if we want our bus fixed, so stay on your toes.
Come on, Ethan, swing.
It's a swing.
You have to get three ornaments on the tree.
It's okay, it's okay.
You can do it, Ethan.
Yes! Yes! Whoo hoo! You got this.
Come on, Ethan.
Oh! Oh! It's okay.
- Just one more.
- Ethan's blowing it.
Come on, Ethan.
Do you wanna be stuck in this Podunk town forever? Yes! Yes! Whoo hoo, we won! We won.
We won, Ethan.
Go! The Diazes have claimed their first victory, although clearly, they have never experienced the joy of our Thursdays farmers market.
Sorry.
Had to motivate him.
Sounds adorable.
- Here's the first gift.
Hurry.
- Go, go, go.
What are you doing? Do you want it done quick or do you want it done right? - Quick, quick.
- Okay, going into toy drive mode.
[Tom.]
Come on, Beast, just one more.
- Go, Beast! - Come on, Beast, you got this.
[distorted voice.]
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! - Yeah! - Oh! That's three.
Thank you, delicious crispy bacon.
And you always say don't fight over food.
Thank you for not listening.
Oh, I gotta run this over to Georgie.
Here's the second gift.
Stand back.
You might get a paper cut.
Go, go, go! Yeah! The winner! One gift left before the reindeer run.
Who are we waiting on? Buddy.
I can't.
That's what I love about Christmas.
Tradition.
[laughing.]
I can't.
Don't be a loser, Buddy.
Jump! Buddy, show them who you are.
I have faith in you.
Christmas is the season of believing.
[screams.]
Whoo! Yes! [Buddy laughing.]
Well The first elves have all three gifts.
They are off to the Reindeer Run.
You have cleats on your shoes to help you push.
That's cheating.
Hey, check it out.
First timer's trying to tell us what's what.
May I quote from the Iron Elf rule book? First sleigh over the finish line wins.
Doesn't say how.
Fa-la-later.
[laughing.]
Go, go, go.
Oh, they're a lot stronger than us.
There's no way we can catch 'em.
Inventors can do anything, including repurpose.
Dad, hand me my slippery spray.
Let's go, let's go! - Come on.
- Go, go, go! Looks like the Burtzes are out in front.
Who is gonna get to Santa first? Go, go, go.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Fa-la-later [all.]
Diaz, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz! Diaz family wins the Iron Elf! The winners get all the gifts in Santa's village.
Hang on.
That's a lot of gifts.
More than I had for my original toy drive.
You know, the one for really needy kids.
Oh.
This is awkward.
As team captain, I'm giving this to the MVP.
Oh, ho ho ho! This is the best Christmas gift I ever got.
Normally, I like to match the person to the gift, but I can't stay.
You've got this.
If you're gonna get to Florida by Christmas Eve, we better get that bus fixed.
It's gonna take me all night.
Not if you have some help.
These people gave you a chance.
We should have, too.
You were great out there.
Thanks.
We better skedaddle.
This family has an abuela to get to.
Okay.
Thanks for believin' in me.
Merry Christmas, Buddy.
Merry Christmas, Harley.
'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the bus, not a Diaz was stirring, not even [Tom.]
Wake up, kids.
We're here.
Shake those sugarplums out of your heads.
Abuela's waiting, and no one does Christmas - like she does.
- Whoo! Harley.
Thanks.
For what? For always pushing us to try harder, do more, be better.
And for always being Di-yes! [doorbell rings.]
[all clamoring.]
I'm so happy you made it.
I've spent the whole week getting ready.
Totally.
I see some red and green in that dish towel.
Super festive.
You came all this way.
You think I'm gonna celebrate in a tiny condo? There's a reason I got an extra storage shed for Christmas decorations.
Against all odds, we made it in time for Christmas.
It wasn't the trip we planned.
It was better.
Abuela believes in us again.
But to get here, we needed to believe in ourselves.
Good thing Christmas is the season of believing.