SurrealEstate (2021) s03e01 Episode Script

[DRAMATIC MUSIC;
INDUSTRIAL SOUND EFFECTS]
LUKE (VO): Previously on SurrealEstate.
- [DRAMATIC SCORE]
- Ooh!
[CREATURE SHRIEKING]
LUKE: The story is pretty consistent.
There is something in the house
making it hard for us to sell
and we make it go away.
I've come to understand
the danger and futility
of holding onto something too tight.
Even something you love.
I'm making Susan full
partner in the agency.
[SUSAN LAUGHS]
August will be leaving us.
Come back to ASDRA,
August. Come back to me.
And Zooey will be starting
law school in the fall.
- [ZOOEY SCREAMS]
- [CLEAVER SLICING]
Wherever you go from here,
there is something about home.
- [FAINT APPLAUSE]
- This is home.
[SCORE CRESCENDOS, FADES OUT]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [TENSE SCORE]
- [FISHING REEL RATCHETS]
- [LURE PLOPS]
- MAN: Judy, come on.
I saw the carpeting they're
proposing. It's awful.
That thin institutional brown carpeting
you'd find in a low-end nursing home.
Kind of place you go to die.
We're a luxury retirement
lifestyle alternative.
A place you go to live.
You can't say that credibly
and have dog-vomity floors.
[CHUCKLES; INHALES]
[REEL RATCHETING]
No. Tell her I wanna
see thick and luxurious.
Those people are paying
a fortune and, like,
half of them are fall risks.
I want something soft
and pretty to land on.
[REEL RATCHETING]
Look, I'll be back in
the office next week.
Tell 'em to have some swatches ready.
[CALL DISCONNECT BEEPS] What is this?
[WATER BURBLING]
[WATER SLOSHING]
[EERIE SCORE]
- [BOOT SQUELCHES IN MUD]
- [WATER SLOSHING]
[MUFFLED SLOSHING]
[MAN SIGHS]
- [CLATTERING]
- [CHAIN CLINKING]
- [RATTLING]
- [LATCH CLICKING]
- [LATCH CLUNKS]
- [CHAIN RATTLING]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[EERIE SCORE ABATES]
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
[DRAMATIC WHOOSH CRESCENDOS, ABATES]
[DEEP SIGH]
[HIGH-PITCHED EERIE SCORE]
[MAN LAUGHS]
I'm out, Carl!
[MAN LAUGHS]
[MAN LAUGHS LOUDLY]
And I'm coming for you!
[MAN PANTING]
- [SCORE INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
- [DRAMATIC SCORE]
MAN 2: I mean, what
exactly are we waiting for?
- [DRAMATIC WHOOSH]
- Just one more item.
Our associate should be
here with it any minute.
- Lomax, have you got it?
- Got it!
You're lucky I still had my
Dad's key to the Columbarium.
I didn't even know
what a Columbarium was.
I had to look it up.
Well, you almost here?
Yeah, I'm, like, two minutes out.
SUSAN: So, we're pretty sure
that the screams are coming from
the wife of the original
owner of the house.
She was separated from
her husband when he died
in a warehouse fire in 1931.
That's Edward right up there.
MAN 2: What, he It
came with the house.
He doesn't look very nice.
Well, the stroke of midnight
marks their 100th anniversary.
If our research is correct,
she should appear at the top of
- those stairs anytime now.
- And then what?
We found her husband's ashes.
They should be here any minute.
We'll give them to her which
will inspire her to move along.
- Then we sell the house, right?
- Hell yes.
- [CLOCK CHIMES]
- [WOMAN SCREAMS IN DISTANCE]
- [SCREAM ABATES]
- [CLOCK CONTINUES CHIMING]
[CRACKLING]
[WOMAN MOANING]
- [EERIE SCORE]
- [WOMAN YELLING IN DISTANCE]
[WOMAN VOCALIZING IN DISTRESS]
- [SCRAPING]
- [WOMAN SCREAMS]
- SUSAN: Ah!
- [FEMALE HOMEOWNER SCREAMS]
MAN 2: Oh, shit.
- [SNAPPING, CRACKING]
- [CREATURE GROWLS]
[CREATURE MOANING]
[THUDS]
[CREATURE GROWLING]
[GUTTURAL GROAN]
- [LUKE GRUNTS]
- [CREATURE SHRIEKS]
- [CLATTERING]
- [CREATURE MOANING]
[FEMALE HOMEOWNER SCREAMS]
[RATTLING]
- [CREATURE GROWLS]
- [LUKE GROANS]
[CREATURE WHIMPERS]
Who are you? What do you want?
[CREATURE PANTING] Housekeeper.
Housekeeper for the Cheevers.
CREATURE: He give me
condition. [SHARP INHALE]
- Condition?
- He got her pregnant.
Oh my god!
CREATURE: Murdered!
Stuffed in the chimney,
- but still alive.
- [CREATURE CRIES]
I burn so long!
- [CREATURE CRIES]
- LUKE: I'm so sorry.
What do you want now?
[PANTING] Vengeance!
Ch-ch-ch-Cheever should bu-bu-burn!
Tell her about the fire.
He did burn.
- There was a warehouse fire in
- 1931.
In 1931. He burned, he died.
- [SCORE INTENSIFIES]
- [URN TOP CLATTERS ON FLOOR]
He burned.
And then he burned again.
You got your vengeance twice over.
[CREATURE MOANS, GASPS]
[CREATURE GASPING, WHIMPERING]
[DRAMATIC SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[CREATURE GASPING]
[CREATURE LAUGHING]
[CREATURE LAUGHS LOUDLY]
- [LAUGHING ECHOES OFF]
- [SCORE ABATES]
- [URN BOUNCING, CLATTERING]
- [SUSAN GASPS, EXHALES]
[SCORE CROSSFADES TO
OPENING THEME PIANO INTRO]
[SIGHS]
It's a good thing they didn't
bury the son of a bitch.
[OPENING THEME]
- [DISTANT MAN SCREAMS]
- [THEME INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
LUKE: So, with the benefit
of hindsight, we know
she was a housemaid
working for the Cheevers.
He got her pregnant. Instead
of doing right by her,
killed her and stuffed
her in the chimney.
But she was still alive.
Tell me again where we got this
"bereaved wife waiting to be
reunited with hubby," story?
That would be our latest research intern
slash receptionist, Roger.
Maybe it is time someone had an
earnest conversation with Roger
about the importance of
getting these things right.
That won't be necessary.
I received Roger's
text of resignation this morning.
Four words: "I'm gone. Peace out."
Three of them were misspelled.
- Which one did he get right?
- None.
He sent an emoji of a peace sign
so it's hard to screw that up.
It's probably for the best.
But we gotta keep trying.
Get the listings back on the job sites.
Never took 'em down.
It has been three years.
We've been at this new
place almost six months
and we still haven't found
a replacement for Phil.
And we've found, what?
34 replacements for Zooey.
- 35! Roger, we hardly knew ye.
- [QUIET SCORE]
And they all ended badly.
I'm still meeting August
in underground parking garages
for new PKT transformers.
These aren't people you replace easily.
[SIGHS] Yes. I know.
- [BUSY OFFICE ATMOSPHERE]
- [ELECTRONIC PHONE TRILLING]
Oh! Mr. MacNeil. Oh, we weren't
expecting you back so soon.
[QUIET EERIE SCORE]
[EXHALES, CHUCKLES IRONICALLY]
Hm.
Hmmm.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
Well, shit, Carl.
You went and died without me.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]
So why're you back so soon?
Um
Too much to do.
Juuudy?
Judy. Too much to do. Too many
carpets to look at and
make sure they're fluffy.
[SCOFFS]
Okay.
Uh, they brought over
these swatch books.
There's a bunch of colors, thicknesses.
Norman says don't pick anything
out of the Coronado collection
- or we'll be way over budget.
- [SOFT DRAMATIC BOOM]
If I want the Coronado collection,
then Coronado I shall have.
Oh, okay.
Scram. I'll look at these.
[TENSE SCORE]
I said beat it!
It'll take me, like, 30 seconds
to pick the rugs into which
these old critters'll want to
aspirate their terminal breath.
Turn around and walk that way.
- Thanks, Judy.
- [KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[KEYBOARD CLICKS]
Oh, little Luke.
All growed up.
And he sells houses.
Gross.
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [SCORE ABATES]
- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- WOMAN: Joey?
- [FOOTSTEPS THUDDING ON STAIR]
Joey!?
Are you riding the north 40?
I gotta keep riding.
Did your horsey tell you that?
Nope. Cowboy Rick told me.
- [TENSE SCORE]
- Who's Cowboy Rick?
He's the cowboy who smiles.
He comes to my room at night.
That's probably just a dream.
No! Cowboy Rick is real!
He comes to my room, and he smiles.
And he tells me I need
to learn to ride fast
so I can go with him!
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
Come on, Joey.
Joey! Let's go get a cookie!
- [SCORE ABATES]
- Okay.
[WOMAN LAUGHS THROUGH NOSE]
WOMAN (WHISPERS): This way. Come on.
[EERIE SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[HORSE HOOVES AT RUNNING PACE ON DIRT]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, FADES OUT]
- [DISTANT CAR HORN HONKING]
- [ELECTRONIC PHONE TRILLING]
- [HANDSET CLATTERING]
- Uh Oh!
Roman/Ireland. This is Brandon.
How may I direct your call?
MAN 3: I made it very
clear to Miss Lomax
Awesome. Yeah, okay. Uh,
so you-you want to talk to her, right?
That's why you hire a real estate agent.
Okay, yeah. No. Th-that's
great, but, but first
- you want to talk to her, right?
- [ELEVATOR ARRIVING DING]
Yeah, yeah. I, I really think
you should talk to her, right?
Okay. Yeah. Just Okay, hang on.
- [SIGHS]
- [TELEPHONE BUTTON CLICKS]
Hey, Lomax?! Uh Right. Uh, button.
Yeah, hey, there's a guy
on the phone for you that's
really mad about something you did.
- [QUIET URGENT SCORE]
- Right, yeah.
No, I'll-I'll do that.
Just-just a sec. Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi. Could I get a name please?
- [UNINTELLIGIBLE RESPONSE]
- Right. Okay.
Great. Yeah, just one
more sec. Uh, yeah.
Hey, the name, it was, uh
Uh, uh, Worshesters Uh
Buh-buh Worshintie Parkert
- [BUTTON CLICKS]
- [LINE DISCONNECT BEEPS]
What'd you do that for? I was so close.
Always defer to the person in your face
before the person on the
phone. It's why they gave you
a hold button instead of a handgun.
Zooey L'Enfant to see Susan, please.
Uh, Miss Ireland is busy.
Is she expecting you?
Oh. Stay gold, Ponyboy.
- [QUICKLY APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]
- SUSAN: Zooey! How are you?
It's been ages. Ages! How's work?
Oh, it's good! Yeah.
So adult, but I love it.
At least I will, once I
figure out what I'm doing.
- That's great.
- ZOOEY: You know, I cannot
keep coming in here to
train every one of these
hamsters you bring in
to answer the phone.
- I have a day job, you know.
- I know.
There's just no one
who does what you do.
- Hm. Curse of being exceptional.
- [SUSAN LAUGHS]
AUGUST: I know not with what weapons
World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be
fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein.
- [QUIET RHYTHMIC SCORE]
- What's your point?
My point is,
we should be focused on
the advancement of mankind,
not its annihilation.
That initiatives like
this probe to Venus
should be viewed as a
glimpse into the unknown
to answer great existential questions,
not just a hunt for a new platform
from which to launch offensive weapons
against as yet unidentified adversaries.
[SCORE ABATES]
Shall I, uh,
break out the sock puppets and
explain it again, or, uh ?
Ripley, you needn't be condescending.
We're all on the same team.
And yet clearly some of
us have been more rigorous
about wearing our helmets.
The A-S-D-R-A mandate is military.
Our money is military.
You need to embrace
that fact, Dr. Ripley.
Your pure science was
rather quaint at first
but now, frankly, we find
it frivolous and annoying.
If you find our mission so distasteful,
why do you stay?
- [QUIET RHYTHMIC SCORE]
- [INAUDIBLE]
Oh.
Shacking up with the boss.
[EXHALES THROUGH NOSE]
Never mind.
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[SCORE ABATES]
- Hey. Got a sec?
- LUKE: Sure. What's up?
Heading to the Barnett's house.
Wanted to get a gut check first.
My guts are yours.
So, we sold it as a normie
but they're already
having some issues.
- Well, how long they been there?
- Just a few days.
Their son's saying some weird things.
There's some odd noises, smells.
- [TENSE SCORE]
- Smells?
Um, she said it was like fertilizer.
- Manure.
- Plumbing? Septic?
Nothing showed up in the inspection.
I'm having a plumber
come and check it out.
But the creepy thing is the kid.
He claims to have a friend.
Cowboy. Cowboy Rick.
Talks about him all the time.
It freaks the parents out.
You did a PKT before
writing the contract?
- Clean as a whistle.
- Did you miss anything?
As confident as I can be. I
know how to use Augie's stuff.
I just don't understand it.
Yeah. Nobody does except Augie.
Anyway, I'm gonna talk to
them. And then I'll follow up
with the previous owner,
see if he knows anything.
I'll drive by. See if
anything jumps out at me.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
- [SUSAN SUCKS TEETH]
- [RECEPTION PHONE TRILLING]
So, I saw Megan the other day.
[LUKE TAPS PEN; SIGHS THROUGH NOSE]
She looked great.
It's what she does.
She saves lives and she looks great.
- Are you two ?
- Megan is seeing a urologist.
I understand that it's serious.
Urology is a serious business.
So I've been told.
I, myself, am dating again.
[TENDER SCORE]
[BLOWS AIR THROUGH LIPS]
Good for you.
I mean, part of having a
healthy work-life balance
is getting out there.
Well, go get 'em, tiger.
I just hope it's nice.
Or at least survivable.
Me too.
But in case it's not,
I always set an alarm
on my phone for 45 minutes in.
If the date's going well,
then I just say it was
a reminder to call a
client or take medication.
- But if it sucks
- Grampa's dying.
Head for the exit.
Here's hoping grampa lives.
[RECEPTION PHONE TRILLING]
SUSAN: Place is really shaping up.
Your furniture looks great in here.
Thanks. I hate to be a complainer.
I had to come by and
pick up our sign, anyway.
We always want to make
sure our clients are happy
in their new homes.
It isn't so much the
noises, or even the smell.
[SUSAN SNIFFS] I'm sorry, I don't
It comes and goes. And when it comes,
it's in waves. But that's
not my biggest worry.
- [QUIET TENSE SCORE]
- [HOMEOWNER SIGHS]
It's Joey.
It's understandable.
He's always been a
pretty down-to-earth kid
and now all he can talk
about is Cowboy Rick.
Kids Joey's age have
such rich imaginations.
- I wouldn't
- (OVERLAP) Then I noticed this.
I'm pretty sure that wasn't
there when we bought it.
[PHONE CAMERA CLICKS]
Anything else?
Oh, my.
[EERIE SCORE]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
[CRICKETS CHIRRING]
[LIGHT SNORING]
[RUNNING HORSE APPROACHING]
[DISTANT HORSE WHINNYING]
[HOOFBEATS, WHINNYING ABATE]
[TENSE SCORE]
[DOOR HINGES CREAK]
[SMOOCH]
[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]
[DISTANT HORSE WHINNYING]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
[CLOSER HORSE NEIGHS]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[WOMAN GASPS]
(INTENSE WHISPER) Where's my buckaroo?
[SCREAMS]
- [QUIET SCORE]
- WOMAN: He was right here.
This evil western person
in a long coat and a hat.
- Did you see him?
- MAN 4: No. By then he was gone.
Marian was hyperventilating,
Joey was crying. It was crazy.
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- MARIAN: He was here.
Right outside Joey's room.
He called him his buckaroo!
What does he want with Joey?
There's really no reason
to think Joey's in danger.
- [MARIAN SCOFFS]
- MAN 4: This thing had a gun!
- Tell her about the gun!
- Silver, shiny, in a holster.
- Like the cowboys used to have.
- SUSAN: I don't think
MAN 4: There was a man
with a gun in our house
outside our little boy's room!
What are you gonna do about it?
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Hi, babe. Didn't think you'd be home.
Mwah!
[FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]
Vonda.
[TAP RUNNING]
How was the fishing trip?
- Liberating.
- Ooh! Don't forget.
We have that thing for Juvenile Diabetes
tomorrow night.
We're against it, right?
[VONDA LAUGHS]
It's biz casual,
so I've got to come home
from the club to change.
Vonda I've been thinking, Vonda.
It's time for a couple of changes.
What do you have in mind?
I'm gonna sell this house.
[SCOFFS]
It's just not me anymore.
But But you love this house.
You only built it a year ago.
I love this house.
What, what, what's wrong with it?
It's so nice.
It's big and open.
I'm used to something
a bit more enclosed.
I I don't understand.
You don't have to.
I'm going to call a real estate agent.
[VONDA SCOFFS] Tyler!
This is super sudden.
Actually, it's been a
very long time coming.
In fact, I've already got a guy in mind.
- [FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]
- [VONDA SCOFFS]
[GENTLE SCORE]
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
[BROAD FREQUENCY SOUND
INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
- [DISTANT BIRD CHIRPING]
MAN 5: Look, I lived in
the place for 20 years.
Never saw anything like that.
Anything strange ever, Mr. Yurth?
- Never.
- Any
[QUIET TENSE SCORE]
cowboys in your family?
[YURTH LAUGHS SOFTLY, SNIFFLES, SIGHS]
I'm an accountant.
My father was an accountant.
My grandfather, too.
Look, we've had a high-profile client
running us 24 hours the last few weeks.
[SNIFFLES, CLEARS THROAT]
If there's nothing else.
Thank you for your time. [EXPELS BREATH]
May I call you if anything comes up?
I guess so.
Do you have a card, or
But, honestly, if those
people are seeing a cowboy,
(WHISPER) they rode in with him.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
So have you worked the front
desk at a businesses before?
Oh, yeah, yeah. I've learned lots.
Great. Forget everything 'cause
this is completely different.
[MISCHIEVOUS SCORE]
Okay, how do I put this? Um
The gates of hell is
protected by a three-headed dog
named Cerberus. That's
you. You're Cerberus.
Do I get dental?
Benefits kick in the first
day of the month after hire.
'Kay? Anyways, Cerberus
Wait, how long d'you work
here before you got a raise?
Six months. But that's
because I'm exceptional.
Brandon, focus, okay?
I'm only going to be here
for a short period of time
imparting all of this wisdom
and shit, so you really
need to take advantage of me.
I like the sound of that.
God, I was not meant to
be the adult in the room.
Cerberus. S
[CALMING INHALE] Okay.
[LIGHT JAZZ PIANO]
MAN 5: That was in sixth grade.
It was the seventh grade
that I really blossomed.
This ninth grader threw me a football,
out of nowhere. Somehow I managed
to drop my books, put my
hands up and caught it.
[CHUCKLES]
Just grabbed it.
That's when I knew football
would be my passion.
I never really loved sports.
I was more of a theatre kid.
Prophecy. That's what it was.
By the time I was a senior,
I was an all-city tight end.
- I'd've made the pros.
- [SUSAN'S PHONE BUZZES]
But I blew out my knee,
got my girlfriend pregnant.
[SOFT GASP]
Oh, no! Boompah!
- Hey, you gonna eat that?
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[PLASTIC RUSTLING]
- So how was the date?
- [SHARP RUSTLING]
- [PLASTIC RUSTLING]
- [OBJECTS CLATTERING FAINTLY]
You know [SIGHS] I
think that flipping a house
is very much like
dressing up a dead body
for an open casket service.
[SUCKS TEETH] Well, thanks for that.
No, you're fixing it up to be comforting
and presentable to
those who would view it.
[SIGHS]
- My mom and I always swore we'd do this one day.
- [TENDER SCORE]
Buy an old house, fix it up,
drink some wine, hang
some drywall and sell it
at an obscene profit.
The perfect place never came along
until just before she, you know,
just before she got sick.
We thought we had all
the time in the world.
Constance was lovely.
We code-named this place Bali Hai.
Her favorite song in
her favorite musical.
[PLASTIC RUSTLING]
Listen, do you mind if I
dig into that Barnett house?
I think there's something there.
Be my guest.
They're tired of looking at my face.
[DISTANT HARMONICA PLAYING]
[DISTANT HORSE NEIGHING]
- [SHARP SLAP ONTO SHEETS]
- [SHEETS RUSTLING]
[SOFT FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]
[DOOR HINGES CREAKING]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, ABATES]
[HARMONICA PLAYING]
[HORSE NICKERS]
- [FIRE CRACKLING]
- [SCORE BECOMES OMINOUS]
- [SCORE ABATES]
- [CRICKETS CHIRRING]
[NERVOUS BREATHS]
- [QUIET TENSE SCORE]
- [WIND BLOWING]
- [ROPE WHIPPING]
- [MAN GRUNTS]
[MAN WHIMPERING]
[TENSE SCORE]
COWBOY: I want my buckaroo!
Where's Joey? You can't have him!
Tell me where he is.
Wh-where's my son?
- MARIAN: Ned!
- [NED GRUNTS]
- [SCORE ABATES]
- Oh!
[DISTANT DOG BARKING]
[EERIE SCORE]
[NED BREATHES HARD]
- NED: Joey, where were you?
- MARIAN: He was in the bathroom!
What's going on? Who are you talking to?
[EXHALES]
AUGUST: Here! Here! It is the beating
- of his hideous heart!
- [FAINT MUSIC PLAYING]
What a charming place
for a clandestine meeting.
It's quickly turning
into our satellite office.
Practically next door. It's
like a second conference room
- with cold beer on tap.
- Lovely.
So, what can I
[FAINT BACKGROUND CHATTER]
- Uh, did you ?
- That's Lloyd.
Been coming here for months.
I haven't had to order once.
He just knows.
Remarkable.
So, here's the deal.
I got a spooky cowboy
that's threatening to
take away a little boy.
Oh, dear.
Something there, August. It's real.
I don't think it's evil,
but, uh, it's something.
You have diagnostic tools I left behind.
I know. But what if we
need something stronger?
- [TENSE SCORE]
- [GLASS DOWN ON TABLE]
A child is in danger. Correct?
I believe I have an item
that will do the trick.
But Luke, please,
use it with discretion.
Over the past three
years, I have discovered
the ability to compartmentalize
the responsibility
for creating terrible weapons
safely away from that of deploying them.
But in my dark nights of
the soul, I realize that,
in the end, it's
it's just the same.
Barnetts are staying at a hotel tonight.
This would be the time.
I'll have a courier send it over.
- [DISTANT THUNDER RUMBLING]
- [RAIN PATTERING]
Hello?
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
[EERIE SCORE]
Um Howdy.
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- Where's my buckaroo?
He's not here. His mom and his dad,
- they took him somewhere safe.
- No!
Not the child.
I don't know these people!
Where's my Buckaroo?
I need to find him.
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, FADES OUT]
[QUIET SCORE]
- [KEYBOARD CLICKS]
- [KEYBOARD CLICKS]
[KEYBOARD CLICKS]
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[PAPER RUSTLING]
[DRAMATIC WHOOSH]
YURTH: I thought I made it
clear that I had no idea
what your clients were
seeing inside the house
- I no longer live in!
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
LOMAX: You did.
Nice place. Bigger than the last place.
I wanted to ask you about your father.
You have a picture of him?
He died three years ago.
I
That's him.
[DISTANT BIRDS CHIRPING]
He kept saying he was
looking for his buckaroo.
[INTRIGUING SCORE]
That's what he used to call me.
When I was a kid.
When I came to work for him
this was years later,
I mean, I had to beg him,
please, stop calling me
that name. It's, um
unprofessional.
The house is empty.
The Barnetts, they won't come back
- until this thing is settled.
- [KEYS JANGLING]
Your move, buckaroo.
[KEYS JANGLING]
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
- [SMOOCH]
- Hi.
- Hello.
Hm. You okay?
- I'm just tired.
- Hm.
Dealing with your associates
makes me tired all over.
Well, if it's any comfort,
you're wearing them out, too.
Hm. Not at all comforting.
- Hmmm.
- [TENDER SCORE FADES UP]
Augie, you don't have to
I quit ASDRA once, as
an impulsive young man.
To do so again would be to
admit I have learned nothing.
That is weakness.
Something I loathe in myself.
I fell in love with
that impulsive young man.
Mm, perhaps that was your weakness.
[CHARCOAL SCRATCHING LIGHTLY ON PAPER]
- [CRICKETS CHIRRING]
- [SCORE INTENSIFIES]
What if he's dangerous?
- He's your dad.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
And he's been looking for you.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [COWBOY EXHALES]
My little buckaroo.
Dad?
What
What is this?
What are you doing?
- [SCORE INTENSIFIES]
- [COWBOY LAUGHS QUIETLY]
Ever since I was a little boy,
I dreamed of being a cowboy.
[SPURS JINGLE]
Way before you were born,
the summer of '67,
I had the summer off
before I started college.
[EXHALES]
Worked on a ranch.
You?
I rode.
I herded cattle.
I slept under the stars.
Even rodeoed.
Came in third, team ropin'.
It was the best summer I ever had.
I wished it would never end, but
it did.
Why?
If you were happy.
My father.
No son of his was
going to waste his life
on the back of a horse.
Went to work at the family firm,
got married,
raised a son.
[LAUGHS]
(WHISPERS) A good son.
[SCOFFS]
And then I died.
And I went somewhere where
[SIGHS]
dreams come true.
You can live the life
that you might'a had.
You know?
So I'm a cowboy.
But I had to come back and tell you
live your dreams.
Don't die with them.
Remember when you took us sailing?
That week in Nantucket.
That was the most fun
I ever had in my life.
I never went out on a sailboat again.
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
[COWBOY SIGHS HAPPILY]
(WHISPER) So you're a sailor?
[EMOTIONAL EXHALE THROUGH NOSE]
Don't wait to do the good things, Kirby.
I love you, son.
I love you, Dad.
My work here is done.
[SCORE ABATES]
[TENDER SCORE]
[DISTANT BIRDS CALLING]
[WESTERN STYLE WHISTLING AS SCORE]
[SCORE FADES OUT]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Don't you have to get to work?
I'm leaving. But I
just needed to tell you
that not only is Brandon
dumber than undercooked meat,
he's also a walking HR violation.
- Kid hit on me. Three times.
- Terrific.
Honestly, I don't think
he's gonna last the week.
Someone might jingle their car keys
and he'd get distracted and leave.
- [SHARP SIGH]
- [FIST THUMPS ON DESK]
I'm never going to find a
replacement for you, am I?
- [GENTLE SCORE]
- Or Phil. Or August.
Okay, but that's the thing.
It's been three years!
Stop trying to replace us.
You know, find some new
talent, give 'em some love
for who they are instead
of expecting them to be
Well, us.
And one more thing.
Thank you.
For?
For shaming me into going to law school.
I mean, I feel like I'm in way,
way over my head and, honestly,
I feel like I'm gonna get
fired almost every day, but
I also feel like I'm
where I was meant to be.
The kind of feeling you
must have every day, right?
Not every day. [BREATHES
OUT THROUGH NOSE]
Anyways, thank you.
By the way, in case he mentions it,
I am going on a date
with Brandon tonight.
Third time was the charm.
[FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]
[FAINT MUSIC]
MEGAN: I'm glad you
called. I almost forgot.
Third Tuesday of every
month drinks with Luke.
Don't you doctors
have appointment books?
Yeah, we have them [SIGHS]
we just ignore them. [LAUGHS]
Oh.
- [LIGHT CHATTERING]
- [CUTLERY CLINKING]
He slays me.
Did you order this?
Lloyd knows.
Uh-huh. Well,
to old friends.
Old friends.
- Mmm.
- Mm.
- [GLASS DOWN ON TABLE]
- [LUKE SNIFFS WINE]
So, what's his name?
Hunter.
First or last?
Doctor Hunter Manderly.
- Hunter Manderly.
- Okay.
Sounds like a guy from a romance novel.
Does he have a flowing flaxen mane?
Don't be a jerk. [SCOFFS]
Are you seeing anyone these days?
- Nobody serious.
- Mm.
I stay busy running my
vast real estate empire.
What do you hear from Phil?
Well, sounds like the Vatican's
got him traveling a lot.
- Mm.
- Anthony's restoring
some old church and Felicity's
in her terrible twos.
Phil says it gives
him a new appreciation
for the demons he can control.
[MEGAN CHUCKLES, INHALES]
Well, Hunter and I
have been talking about
going to Rome in the
spring. I'd love to see them.
- I'll get you the number.
- Hm.
I, uh, I made a note
to call Zooey next week.
I need to do up a will.
Oh, I just saw her the other day.
And Susan. Susan says hi.
Oh. Hi, Susan.
Hm.
It just, uh
It feels like all the
kids are growing up.
- Hm.
- Zooey is a lawyer.
August is designing killer
satellites, or something.
Phil's off fighting the
forces of darkness and you!
You're an ER doctor saving lives.
Ordering "Ringers lactate. Stat!"
[MEGAN LAUGHS]
Everyone's evolving.
Making bold moves forward.
And here you are.
Yep.
Here I still am.
Hm.
[TENSE SCORE]
Are you okay?
I am magnificent.
I ask because you're just kinda
not yourself.
Now you're just hurting my feelings.
Are you sure you want
to sell this house?
[VONDA SIGHS]
[SHARP EXHALE]
[SHOE SCUFFS ON FLOOR]
[SMOOCH]
Don't change, Tyler.
I like you just the way you are.
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
Payback's a bitch, Little Luke.
And it's coming for you.
[SCORE CRESCENDOS, FADES OUT]
[CLOSING CREDIT THEME]