The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s03e01 Episode Script

1 At the end of last season, George and Harold wound up with some surprising news.
Powerful stuff.
Welcome to Chattin' Pants.
I'm your host, Rap Talkwell, and with me tonight are the two and only George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is on the left with the tie and flattop.
-Hello.
-Harold is on the right -with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
-Hi-- Wait.
Is that how people know me? Last time we saw you, you two were finally heading to summer camp.
But George was on a bus going to Camp Lake Summer Camp, and Harold was on another bus going to Lake Summer Camp Camp! How does that make you feel? -Gotta say, Rap, we're not happy.
-Me, too.
Tra-la-la! Hey! It's Captain Underpants! The My Hammy Sound Machine.
Man, that never gets old! What about my big cliffhanger? There's only room for one captain on this ship, Baboonbeard.
And that's-- Whoa, whoa! No! Ah! -That didn't happen.
-Oh, no? Then who's this guy? - Ah! - No! Whoa! -We'll be right back! -Come on! So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! Now they're summering at summer camp And Mr.
Krupp is, too -Blah, blah, blah! - Once they used the hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Flying through the trees And don't forget when he gets wet - You're sure to feel the squeeze! -Blah! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-camp! The Worrisome Wedge of the Water Warmongers! Chapter 1: Weepaway Camp.
George and Harold were headed to different camps, making this the worst summer of their lives.
I can't believe I have to be here instead of indoors, safe from the sun's rays.
And what's this burning sensation in my lungs? It's the clean mountain air.
- Air! It's a nightmare! I'll never forgive you for this, Mother! Now put my trunk in my quarters! This camp is, like, full of dirt.
Sophie One, don't touch anything.
-Other Sophie, vacuum the grooound.
We're at the same camp! -Yeah! -Awesome! Wrong! You're in Camp Lake Summer Camp.
You're in Lake Summer Camp Camp.
Whaa? But we're in the same place! I second that "whaa?" Let me un-whaa it for everyone.
Krupp was hired as the camp director, and he split the camp into two camps to get two paychecks.
That adds up to the same amount of money 'cause Krupp isn't very bright.
One, two.
What's after two? And the best part is you two will be separated for the entire summer! -Ha! Good luck with that.
-Yeah, nothing comes between us! No! Hey, it's just a chain-link fence.
-No big deal.
-Beard-Hutchins signature high-five! No.
Got stuck.
-No.
-No.
No! No! No! No, no, no! No! No! No! We gotta get Krupp to put us on the same side of the fence! -That means changing his mind.
-Or just get some wire cutters and, voila, no more fence.
'Cause it's a chain-link fence.
And I adore that fence because it makes them miserable! Back to shore, Mother! So George and Harold decided to grease Krupp's wheels with some good old-fashioned bribery.
Hey, Mr.
Krupp! We were in the neighborhood and thought we'd bring you a gift.
Is it my keys? I can't find them anywhere.
No, it's your favorites! Guac And chips! Camp style! -Why is this guac white? -It's mayonnaise.
And why do these chips look like pine cones? 'Cause they're pine cones.
Hmm.
Mm.
-Now what do you want? -To be in the same camp.
I accept your camp guac, but I reject your request.
Bribery was a bust, so plan B.
-I demand you put us in the same camp! -No.
- Plan C.
- I beg you! Put us in the same camp! - Never! What else? - Flattery.
Khaki makes you look, uh, rounder.
- Not a compliment.
And, no.
- Ventriloquism.
Put George and Harold in the same camp! - I can see your lips moving.
And, no! - Magic.
-Ta-da! -No! And put me back together! - Show tunes.
- I am the pirate king! He is the pirate king! -No.
-Aw, come on! Why not? Because you monsters together is a recipe for a nightmare summer.
And I plan on spending my summer floating on this.
The LeisureMyLand.
- "The LeisureMyLand"? - The LeisureMyLand! An inflatable private island I'm going to buy that's just for me, and you can't visit because it's mine and just for me, not you! It has a beach, an ice cream shop, a petting zoo, and the best part is it's all rubber and it's all mine! So, to ensure my summer of rubbery relaxation, not only am I keeping you apart, I'm going to make you enemies so you stay apart! Impossible.
We're best friends.
-We never fight! -Until now! Because I'm pitting you against each other in a camp-versus-camp water balloon fight! - That sounds fun! - Wrong! According to ancient camp philosopher Moon Zu's The Art of Camp, "Campers at odds will become enemies for life.
" So, say your goodbyes because your friendship is on borrowed time, just like this guac! Chapter 2: Endless Bummer.
"Dearest George, these two and one quarter hours have been endless.
Oh, how I've suffered because I've spent them without you.
" "My beloved Harold, I received your letter.
Needless to say, I share your sorrow and your suffering.
" A summer without you is the coldest winter of all.
Wait, why are we writing each other letters? -I mean, we're right here.
-But this is way more dramatic.
Hey! Lights out! 'Kay.
-Where are the forks? -Forks? Behind the fence.
Forks! First the fence, now a balloon battle? We can't fight just 'cause Krupp wants us to.
Or maybe we can, and we show Krupp that George and Harold are worse apart than they are together.
I'm in! By the way, can you squeeze a cup through the fence? We have drinks, but no cups.
I miss cups because it made drinking a lot less difficult and messy and sticky and stressful.
- Guys, seriously, wire-cutters.
- You've been briefed on the balloon battle and bestowed a bevy of balloons.
Wow, so many Bs.
But before we begin, behold your new battle bosses: George and Harold! -Uh, we don't wanna be-- -Winning camp gets actual toilet paper! Let the balloon battle begin! We've got to figure out how to use this to get in the same camp.
-Use what? -Use this! Rah! Yes! I'm happy.
Do you know why I'm happy? -You found love against all odds? -You found your keys? No! And, no! I'm happy because Moon Zu was right.
You're well on your way to becoming enemies! -No way! We're still BFFs.
-For now.
But Moon Zu's teachings say that campers apart well may think they're still BFFs, but they're actually not.
Wow, that book is really specific.
And true! So I win! Now get out! Wait, have you seen my keys? - No.
- Okay, now get out! One, two, whatever comes after two.
Oh, this isn't enough! How can I relax if I can't buy a LeisureMyLand? Hmm, maybe these kids have stuff I can sell.
Cookies? Worthless! Sunscreen? What is this all about? Ah! I'm blind! And I'm choking on cookies! Ooh! Cool owl, huh? Help! We need to figure out how to beat Krupp.
That means we make a comic, right, George? I keep telling you, I'm Gooch, and I miss bowls because ice cream is supposed to be a treat, and I can't feel my hands.
-You wanna make a comic, huh? -Yeah, but I can't do it without George.
Sure, you can.
With me.
You mean make a comic with you instead of George? -Yeah, I just said that.
-Make a comic without George? -I just said that.
-I don't think I can.
Too late.
It's already begun.
And the monster's a giant sleeping bag! What do you think, Harold? That's it! I can't take your endless prattling! -And you're wasting paper! -Do you mind? -We're working here.
-We? You're talking to a mop! Gah! You're right! I'm losing it! I can't do this without Harold.
Agreed.
That sackasnoreus idea is a nonstarter.
Perhaps go with something truly dangerous, like sharing your feelings, or fire.
Melvin, that actually makes sense.
Oh.
Well, uh, of-of course it does.
Um, do you Why are you caterwauling like a wounded bison? Do you wanna-- Do you wanna-- Do you wanna-- Do you-- Do you wanna Do you wanna-- Do you wanna-- Do you wan-- Do you wanna-- -Do you wanna help me? -Help you what? Do you wanna help me make a comic? Whaa? Make a comic? With you? I don't think I could do that.
Too late.
It's already begun.
-Can you draw? -Well Chapter 3: Captain Underpants and the Combustible Camplifire.
By George Beard and Melvin Sneedly.
One time at camp, it was time to go to bed.
But there was no water to put out the campfire 'cause Randy was on water duty and he blew it.
So they put out the fire with fruit punch.
But the punch was 99 percent weird chemicals like Brozitane and Polyborphitron, also Uborsitrex number seven 'cause they got it at the Cheap Chest and, perskratch! It turned the campfire into a monster named Camplifire! And Camplifire was lonely, so it tried to make friends with the campers, but when it talked, fireballs shot out of its mouth-- orszh! And the campers were all, "Aah!" And, "It's a fire monster!" And, "I should've gone to outer space camp like my friend Terrence!" Good thing Captain Underpants was lost in the woods nearby.
He heard the screams and was all, "Yay! They found me!" And he flew in and saw Camplifire and was all, "Good thing I'm wearing my fireproof undies!" Even though he wasn't 'cause it was Thursday.
-Seriously? -Yeah.
Just go with it.
And then, Captain Underpants landed in front of the Bonkers Balloonatic.
-And it was go time.
-Go time.
Yeah, keep it coming! Captain Underpants wasn't worried.
He was no stranger to water.
After all, he drank it, understood many people's lack of it, and all too often avoided bathing in it.
"Water is my jam," he said with a gleam in his eye.
But the Balloonatic was no stranger to water, either, because, like, he was made of it.
Cray cray! And classically not sharing natural resources and rights with people in need.
So, advantage: Balloonatic! Captain Underpants attacked his rubbery rival with the Skivvy Scuffle and so on.
But the Balloonakit re-- But the Balloonatic repelled it with Elastic Endurance and his Crazed Crackle, "Hoo-hee! Hoo-hee-hee!" And his inability to see beyond his own limited, biased views, wow! Then an idea struck the Waistband Warrior like a bolt of lightning strikes a schooner of the privileged elite! "The only way to beat cray cray is to be cray cray.
I've got to progressivize and think outside the box!" Captain Underpants said with a gleam in his eye and a broader worldview.
So, he put on a chicken suit and took the Balloonatic bowling, which was pretty far outside the box.
The Balloonatic was so bad, Captain Underpants had to put personal feelings aside and stop, show compassion, and taught the weepy Balloonatic to become a world-class professional bowler and promote clean water for all and junk.
"Sure glad I held on to this chicken suit, outside the box," Captain Underpants said with a gleam in his eye, bawk! Why did it have to end? -I figured out how to beat Krupp! -Me, too! -We need to think outside the box! -We need to find him a friend! Wait.
You made a comic without me? You made a comic with another So unfaithful Just take a look at all these pages Of betrayal Dressy! Sorry, I just love songs about betrayal.
Betrayal! I can't believe you made a comic without me.
That's our thing! It came out pretty good, right? Hope you're cool we worked together.
Don't worry, George.
Harold, he made a lateral move.
You upgraded! Melvin? How could you make a comic with our worst enemy? Me? How could you make a comic with Erica? What's the big deal? We've worked with her before.
Yes, we.
Not you, alone! You crossed the line, man! No, you crossed the line, man! We're no longer BFFs.
We're WEEs! Yeah, we are! Wait, what's a WEE? -Worst enemies eternally.
-Oh, yeah, we are! -Know what this means? -Thanksgiving is canceled? Yes! And war! Balloon war! Ha! This is going perfectly! You are the man, Moon Zu! And this camp guac is growing on me.
Mm.
The only thing missing is my keys.
Chapter 4: To the Bitter Friend.
Guys, time to take this balloon battle up a notch.
We're going to attack Camp Lake Summer Camp here, here, and here.
We're Camp Lake Summer Camp.
Oh, then we're attacking Lake Summer Camp Camp.
The point is these attacks are a diversion for our secret weapon.
-Harold? -You mean Melvin.
-Oh.
Right, heh, Melvin.
-Thanks, buddy! There's no better way to crush the spirit of our enemies than to use their own ideas to defeat them.
Behold! A giant water balloon robot inspired by Harold's feeble comic, the H2Obliterator 2000! It looks like a dead bouncy house.
Dead! Because I haven't filled it yet, mitten lint! Anyhoo, I've programmed it to invade the enemy camp and drench them into oblivion.
Right, pal? Uh For Lake Summer Camp Camp! -No, that's them.
-We need a chart or something.
Lieutenant Wang has some interesting intel.
-Colonel.
-Whatever you want.
Honestly, I know nothing about ranks.
I wanna be a captain.
Sophie One, you're a co-captaaain.
-Other Sophie, you're a court marshal.
-Works for me.
Anyone else? I'd like to be an admiral, but I haven't earned that.
So until I do, I'll be a corporal punishment.
Done.
So, Erica, what'd you learn about the other camp? They built the Balloonatic from our comic, and we're gonna hack it.
-For Camp Lake Summer Camp! -Oh, my Gaaar! That's the other camp! It is? Well, which camp are we? Can someone make a chart or something? I would, but I don't want to get sauce on the chart, and my hands are burning and I miss plates.
For plates! Wait, why are you wearing a poncho? My first shirt is wet, and my cool owl shirt is missing, and this is all I have left.
Not sure how you beat me, but you did.
You know, I own this LeisureMyLand.
It's all mine.
And don't worry about George and Harold because I turned them into mortal enemies.
Not that you asked.
Oh! Quick! Call an inflatable doctor! Wait, where'd the lake go? I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that.
And nap.
Camp Lake Summer Camp, surrender, or you'll be soaked beyond your wildest dreams! You surrender first! Why should we surrender? We have the H2Obliterator.
2000! Correction, you had the H2Obliterator.
Now it's ours.
Melvin, why is it doing that? He must've hacked the rubber drive and wiped the rubberratrix! -What? I didn't make him do that.
-It was dark when I hacked that thing.
-It's gone bonkers.
-Like in our comic book! Yes! But be less happy about it! Whoa! Balloon robots are so over! Sophie One, let's hide under an umbrella! Other Sophie, be an umbrella! We need Captain Underpants before both camps are swamped.
-Truce? -Truce.
Only until we know we're not H2Obliterated.
Deal.
Mr.
Krupp, are you okay? Better than okay because I'm asleep, so I can't hear the camp being destroyed! Also, how's your enemyship going? Tra-la-lake! - Wait, don't lakes usually have water? - Yup! -That balloon-bot took it all! -Well, then I've got a balloon to burst! Just in case the thing springs a leak, wear this.
Thanks! For lakes! -Where'd you get that? -Have you guys seen a poncho? Someone stole it off my body when I wasn't looking.
Tra-la-la! You're going down, balloon guy.
But can you twist yourself into a giraffe first? Or a duck? Anything, please? No? Okay, then! Chapter 5: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter in Balloon Animal-O-Rama.
Because it's not a party without balloon animals.
Kids, I hope you're having fun at Scott's birthday! Who wants Gigglenose to make balloon animals? It's Captain Underpants and a dog! Whoopsie-doopsie! That dog went rogue! What about a unicorn? Whoa, Nelly! That's balloon assault! Let's try a palm tree! And that's balloonicide! So, old Gigglenose has gotta hit the road.
Happy birthday, Scott! Kids, in my day, clowns was funny! -Ooh, what? -They-- He's so rubbery! My punches bounce off of him and hit me, like this! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - We need a new plan.
- Yup.
We need to think outside the box, like in my comic.
Or maybe Balloonatic needs a friend, like in my comic-- a water friend.
Or an outside-the-box friend, like a fire friend.
Like Camplifire! Melvin, how fast can you create a giant campfire monster? -Time me.
- Melvin! Six minutes.
Not bad.
Because we're a great team.
We're Melvin and George.
Melvorge! Or Gelvin.
Your choice.
So, when Camplifire and Balloonatic hug, the fire will burst the balloon And the water will put out the fire! Hey, Camplifire! Why don't you go say hi to Balloonatic? You're both giant monsters! Yeah, you probably have a lot of giant monster stuff to talk about.
I don't get it.
Camplifire and Balloonatic aren't gelling! They are water and fire, so we'll have to force the friendship.
-Captain Underpants, group hug! -I was gonna do that anyway.
Tra-la-la! You know, I've never met a problem that couldn't be solved by a hug.
Hug like you mean it! I'm hugging with all my tighty-whitey mighty! Tighty-er! Time to hug like a family that actually likes each other! Maximum squeeze! In less than 48 hours, you've destroyed both camps! -And we're just getting started.
-Because we're at war! So war.
No more! Moon Zu's a liar! You're way worse apart, so I'm putting you both in Lake Summer Camp Camp and making you friends again! No! Yes! Now get out! Together! Now I can finally rela-- Ah! Hey! My keys! It worked! We fooled everyone! And we got exactly what we wanted! George and Harold were pretending to fight so Krupp would put them in the same camp.
"Camp Director Krupp's Office.
No Fun Allowed.
" - "Fart in Krupp's Office.
" - "Now.
" So good.
I still can't believe I made a comic with Melvin.
Ha, can't wait to read it.
- You made a comic with another - So unfaithful -Dressy! -Uh, sorry! More betrayal! Gotta say, Melvin actually has comic skills.
Let's tell him in the morning.
And I'll tell Erica her storytelling was pretty good, too.
Pretty good? Try great.
And no need to tell me because I already know.
Just like I know about your fake war.
Good night.
Man, she's like a ninja.
A really confident ninja.
Well, tomorrow's the first day of the best summer of our lives.
- And nothing can ruin it.
- Why do they do that? Morning, Harold! Morning, George! - Oh, no.
- Good morning, boys! Melvin filled me in on your little scheme.
Clever.
So I've re-separated you, but this time with a big, beautiful wall.
No!