The Guild (2007) s03e01 Episode Script
Expansion Time
I barely resurrected myself from that party.
Bladezz destroyed Tink's character, Clara devastated Vork with betrayal, and I was kinda dumped.
Twice.
I allowed myself a few pints of self-pity ice cream, old-lady butter pecan, FYI, and I've decided I'm gonna get all of us into a great mood.
How? The expansion to our game is coming out! "The Spires of Draganor!" New continent, new powers.
Most importantly, new character hairstyles! I'm hoping it will help heal some of the wounds in the Guild; make us focus on what matters.
It's about the game, not each other! Dumb humans! Ooh! Brain freeze.
Ooh.
Ah What's really cool is that they're adding a fairy from Rand-age Draganor that will really cut down on the end game commute.
Awesome, right? Uh, and there are gonna be a lot of changes to the warlock powers! It's gonna be way easier to summon your familiars.
I'm the only one who summons your familiars, right, baby? Oh, yeah, innuendo'd.
Oh, hey, Bladezz.
This making out with actual humans is unbelievable! Watch your wallet.
Is the store open yet? I have 15 minutes to get back to the fry dipper.
You got a job? Yeah.
I'm paying off credit cards I ran up buying crap for Tink.
Working is soul crushing.
I can't believe adults live like this.
What a waste.
Vork! You wanna hear about the new metalworking recipes? Not now.
I'm making found-object stew.
Sidewalk living requires hearty sustenance.
You didn't have to camp out two days early.
It's not like they're gonna sell out.
There will be plenty of copies of the game.
It's a symbolic gesture, Codex.
My malfeasance as Guild Leader has caused heartache, vagrancy and a possible spread of STDs.
Assuring our place as first in line was a small thing I could do to rebuild my credibility.
Well, we're all excited to be the first to get the new expansion.
Some of us a little too much.
Your tongue is such a randy gymnast.
I'll triple lutz your uvula.
That's actually figure skating.
Don't talk.
Hey, Guildies! Sorry I'm late.
It took forever to find a children's department around here.
Your kids are in a store right now without you? Not entirely.
Mommy's at the GameStop! I love you! Over.
Clara, that's a baby monitor.
It only goes one way! Well, I'll buy something when I pick them up.
I'm not trashy.
- Where's Tink? - Right there.
Bladezz's payback hit her hard, huh? No, Tink hired this lady to stand in line for her.
She didn't want to spend more time around Bladezz than she had to.
OMG! What a drama queen! I'm four grand in debt from her lady demands! Who's the victim here? You know, you smell like Oh, yeah! Garlic fries! Shut up! Clara? I er you Oh Just a second.
Vork, are you okay? Seeing Clara has elicited feelings of extreme shame and panic.
Not unlike my first experience at a pay toilet.
"Clear blue ocean.
Clear blue ocean.
" I think I need to confront her, seek insight into how I failed her so miserably as a leader.
No, no! That is not a good idea.
Don't bait the trolls, right? Not that Clara's a troll, it's just Listen, I think the Guild needs to move on from the other night.
I'm not entirely comfortable watching Zaboo make out with that stupid tall hot girl Um Riley.
It's just the other name rolls off the tongue so well.
And Remind me to take you on a road trip sometime.
And by that I mean do not remind me because I would not go.
You talk a lot! I know.
What got mixed in his mouthwash? Nothing! Everything's fine! Vork probably feels bad about what happened, you know? Remember? You attacked and killed him over and over again when he didn't give you that orb? Oh, yeah! I forgot! What a jerk! No, Clara! Clara! Have you seen the new storm powers in the Mage's Ice tree? They added a whole new set of wind powers.
I've got some wind power to show you.
Oh, come on, Bladezz, you can't set that up and not deliver! Yay! Fart jokes! This is awesome! Thanks for holding our spot.
Excuse me! You're cutting! That's right.
Bladezz destroyed Tink's character, Clara devastated Vork with betrayal, and I was kinda dumped.
Twice.
I allowed myself a few pints of self-pity ice cream, old-lady butter pecan, FYI, and I've decided I'm gonna get all of us into a great mood.
How? The expansion to our game is coming out! "The Spires of Draganor!" New continent, new powers.
Most importantly, new character hairstyles! I'm hoping it will help heal some of the wounds in the Guild; make us focus on what matters.
It's about the game, not each other! Dumb humans! Ooh! Brain freeze.
Ooh.
Ah What's really cool is that they're adding a fairy from Rand-age Draganor that will really cut down on the end game commute.
Awesome, right? Uh, and there are gonna be a lot of changes to the warlock powers! It's gonna be way easier to summon your familiars.
I'm the only one who summons your familiars, right, baby? Oh, yeah, innuendo'd.
Oh, hey, Bladezz.
This making out with actual humans is unbelievable! Watch your wallet.
Is the store open yet? I have 15 minutes to get back to the fry dipper.
You got a job? Yeah.
I'm paying off credit cards I ran up buying crap for Tink.
Working is soul crushing.
I can't believe adults live like this.
What a waste.
Vork! You wanna hear about the new metalworking recipes? Not now.
I'm making found-object stew.
Sidewalk living requires hearty sustenance.
You didn't have to camp out two days early.
It's not like they're gonna sell out.
There will be plenty of copies of the game.
It's a symbolic gesture, Codex.
My malfeasance as Guild Leader has caused heartache, vagrancy and a possible spread of STDs.
Assuring our place as first in line was a small thing I could do to rebuild my credibility.
Well, we're all excited to be the first to get the new expansion.
Some of us a little too much.
Your tongue is such a randy gymnast.
I'll triple lutz your uvula.
That's actually figure skating.
Don't talk.
Hey, Guildies! Sorry I'm late.
It took forever to find a children's department around here.
Your kids are in a store right now without you? Not entirely.
Mommy's at the GameStop! I love you! Over.
Clara, that's a baby monitor.
It only goes one way! Well, I'll buy something when I pick them up.
I'm not trashy.
- Where's Tink? - Right there.
Bladezz's payback hit her hard, huh? No, Tink hired this lady to stand in line for her.
She didn't want to spend more time around Bladezz than she had to.
OMG! What a drama queen! I'm four grand in debt from her lady demands! Who's the victim here? You know, you smell like Oh, yeah! Garlic fries! Shut up! Clara? I er you Oh Just a second.
Vork, are you okay? Seeing Clara has elicited feelings of extreme shame and panic.
Not unlike my first experience at a pay toilet.
"Clear blue ocean.
Clear blue ocean.
" I think I need to confront her, seek insight into how I failed her so miserably as a leader.
No, no! That is not a good idea.
Don't bait the trolls, right? Not that Clara's a troll, it's just Listen, I think the Guild needs to move on from the other night.
I'm not entirely comfortable watching Zaboo make out with that stupid tall hot girl Um Riley.
It's just the other name rolls off the tongue so well.
And Remind me to take you on a road trip sometime.
And by that I mean do not remind me because I would not go.
You talk a lot! I know.
What got mixed in his mouthwash? Nothing! Everything's fine! Vork probably feels bad about what happened, you know? Remember? You attacked and killed him over and over again when he didn't give you that orb? Oh, yeah! I forgot! What a jerk! No, Clara! Clara! Have you seen the new storm powers in the Mage's Ice tree? They added a whole new set of wind powers.
I've got some wind power to show you.
Oh, come on, Bladezz, you can't set that up and not deliver! Yay! Fart jokes! This is awesome! Thanks for holding our spot.
Excuse me! You're cutting! That's right.