The Twilight Zone (1985) s03e01 Episode Script
The Curious Case of Edgar Witherspoon
Woman: HE'S CRAZY.
THAT'S WHAT HE IS.
A LOONY.
A NUT CASE.
A GENUINE WACKO.
UNCLE EDGAR IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THINGS.
THINGS LIKE THREE PAPER CLIPS OR A CHROME COAT HANGER.
OR ONE PATENT LEATHER TAP SHOE.
HE RUMMAGES THROUGH TRASH CANS.
HE GOES TO GARBAGE DUMPS.
HE'S ALWAYS BOTHERING MY OTHER TENANTS.
ONE DAY IT'S BICYCLE SPOKES.
THEN IT'S BASEBALL CARDS.
AND WHO DO THE TENANTS COMPLAIN TO? YOURS TRULY.
HE WON'T LET ANYBODY INTO HIS APARTMENT.
NOT EVEN HIS OWN NIECE.
THAT JUNK HE'S COLLECTING IS A FIRE TRAP.
HE COULD HURT HIMSELF.
AND OTHER PEOPLE.
NAMELY ME.
HE NEEDS YOUR HELP.
YESTERDAY HE WANTED A YO-YO.
BY 6:00.
AND LAST WEEK PIECES OF BROKEN DOLLS HEADS, ARMS, LEGS.
PLEASE DO SOMETHING, DOCTOR.
PLEASE, FOR HIS SAKE.
AND OURS.
(beeping) OF COURSE.
(beeping) Woman: HIS BELL DON'T WORK.
AH, MRS.
MILLIGAN.
I THINK HE'S DISCONNECTED IT.
DOWN THERE IN THE BASEMENT.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANKS ANYWAY, MR.
PILCHICK BUT I ALREADY FOUND A BRASS THIMBLE.
YOU'RE NOT MR.
PILCHICK.
I'M DR.
JEREMY SINCLAIR.
MAY I TALK TO YOU? SOME OTHER TIME.
I HAVE TO LOOK FOR A DOLL'S HEAD.
Narrator: ONE OLD MAN IN A PRIVATE WORLD OF IRRATIONAL URGENCIES.
FOR DR.
JEREMY SINCLAIR, AN ALL-TOO-COMMON SIGHT.
BUT EDGAR WITHERSPOON IS A MOST UNCOMMON OLD MAN WITH A SECRET THAT REACHES OUT TO THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH AS THE GOOD DOCTOR IS ABOUT TO DISCOVER.
YOUR NIECE SHE WORRIES ABOUT YOU.
SHE'S A VERY NICE WOMAN, SO TELL HER NOT TO WORRY.
SEE? A SIMPLE SOLUTION.
THANKS FOR COMING.
IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE MEETING YOU BUT I HAVE TO GET ON WITH MY WORK.
YOUR WORK? I BET YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS, WOULDN'T YOU? YES.
WRONG ANSWER.
YOU SEE A DOLL'S HEAD HERE ANYWHERE? YOU MEAN LIKE THAT? OH, TOO BIG.
ALSO BRUNETTE.
I NEED BLONDE.
AND I NEED IT IN FIVE MINUTES.
AND WHAT FOR? YOU WANT SANTA BARBARA TO FALL INTO THE OCEAN? NO.
THEN STAND ASIDE, SIR.
STAND ASIDE.
WHOO-WHOO! JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME.
NO TIME TO LOSE.
MR.
WITHERSPOON I'M SORRY.
I SHOULDN'T BE RUDE.
YOU'VE COME ALL THIS WAY TO SEE ME.
MAY I COME IN? AND IT WAS SO NICE-- A PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
TELL MY NIECE HELLO.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I'VE GOT TO STOP THE SHAKING IN SANTA BARBARA.
MR.
WITHERSPOON OH, ON YOUR WAY OUT COULD YOU DUMP THIS? GOOD AFTERNOON, DOCTOR.
DID YOU SEE UNCLE EDGAR? YES, THIS MORNING.
WELL? I WOULDN'T EXACTLY CALL IT A LONG CONVERSATION.
BUT LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE HE? OH, ABSOLUTELY.
ON THE OTHER HAND MR.
WITHERSPOON APPEARS HAPPY AND QUITE HARMLESS.
HARMLESS? HE PESTERS STRANGERS ON THE STREET.
HE RUNS AFTER GARBAGE TRUCKS.
THAT IS FAR FROM HARMLESS.
SOMEBODY SAW HIM TAKE A BABY'S BOTTLE OUT OF ITS CARRIAGE.
I'M AFRAID HE'LL GET ARRESTED NEXT TIME.
DOCTOR, I WILL SIGN ANYTHING COOPERATE IN ANY WAY ALL RIGHT, MAYBE I'LL HAVE ANOTHER CHAT WITH HIM-- A LONGER ONE-- AND SEE IF I Newscaster: In Santa Barbara a small earthquake tremor was felt shortly before noon today.
The force was enough to rattle dishes and a few nerves DID YOU HEAR THAT? WHAT? THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT A SORRY, IT'S NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.
I'LL CALL YOU AS SOON AS I CAN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
(knocking) MR.
WITHERSPOON? GO AWAY.
I'M NOT HOME.
IT'S DR.
SINCLAIR.
I WAS HERE LAST WEEK.
DO YOU REMEMBER? SORRY, I WASN'T HOME LAST WEEK EITHER.
MR.
WITHERSPOON, I COULD LEGALLY FORCE YOU TO OPEN THIS DOOR TO ME.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YOU'RE A CURIOUS ONE.
ODD, YOU MEAN? I MEAN NOSY.
I'M PAID TO BE NOSY.
CURIOUS, YOU MEAN.
REALLY? DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S ODD? MOST PEOPLE ARE CURIOUS FOR NOTHING.
THAT'S VERY NICE FOR YOU.
ARE THE HOURS GOOD? MR.
WITHERSPOON, WHY DO YOU COLLECT DOLLS' HEADS SHOES, PAPER CLIPS? I CAN'T AFFORD REMBRANDTS.
WHAT? OH, NO.
OH, NO.
AS USUAL, IT'S BEEN LOVELY.
PLEASE DON'T CALL AGAIN.
I MAY HAVE TO.
THE NEXT TIME, IT MIGHT NOT BE SO LOVELY.
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER INVITE ME IN OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL? IF YOU MUST, YOU MUST.
(soft ticking and whirring) BE VERY,VERYCAREFUL WHERE YOU WALK.
(irregular chiming) (regular chiming) THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE.
THIS IS VERY, UH INTERESTING, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
WHAT, UM WHAT IS IT? THIS? THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS THE WORLD FROM GOING POOF! LET ME UNDERSTAND YOU CLEARLY, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
YOU SAY THIS THIS IS WHAT KEEPS THE WORLD FROM GOING POOF? IT'S NOT EASY.
MOST THINGS ARE NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND.
WHERE WOULD YOU LOOK FOR A SKATE KEY? I CAN'T IMAGINE.
I FOUND ONE, THOUGH.
THINK THAT'S CRAZY? WELL YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A BUSINESS CARD, WOULD YOU? OH, YES, OF COURSE.
THAT WAS AN EASY ONE.
WELL, I WON'T TAKE UP ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.
I'VE SEEN MORE THAN ENOUGH.
I USED TO BE AN ENGINEER.
EARNED LOTS OF MONEY.
THEN I RETIRED-- WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE.
LIFE WAS SO DAMNED BORING.
THEN THE VOICE SPOKE TO ME.
YOU ALSO HEAR VOICES? YOU, TOO? PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I WAS SITTING IN THE PARK ONE DAY FEEDING THE PIGEONS AND SUDDENLY THERE IT WAS-- THE VOICE.
"EDGAR," IT SAID "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ENGLAND?" OH, YES.
WHY? NO, THAT'S WHAT THE VOICE ASKED ME.
"EDGAR," IT SAID "IN THE HEART OF BIG BEN "THERE IS A PENDULUM THAT TELLS THE CLOCK HOW FAST TO TICK.
"AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PENDULUM, ON TOP OF THE BIG WEIGHT "THERE'S A STACK OF PENNIES.
"EVERY SO OFTEN THEY TAKE ONE OFF.
"THE CLOCK SPEEDS UP.
"OR THEY PUT ONE ON.
"THE CLOCK SLOWS DOWN.
"THE PENNIES CHANGE THE BALANCE JUST A LITTLE BUT ENOUGH TO KEEP THE WHOLE MECHANISM RUNNING PERFECTLY.
" SO WHAT YOU HAVE HERE IS SOME KIND OF CLOCK.
OF COURSE NOT.
WHY WOULD I BUILD A CLOCK? $3.
00, ANY DRUGSTORE.
DOESN'T LOSE 10 SECONDS A YEAR.
ANYWAY, THE VOICE SAID, "EDGAR, THE WORLD IS A FUNNY PLACE.
"LITTLE WARS HERE, BIG WARS THERE.
"VOLCANOES GOING OFF, STORMS, TORNADOES.
"A TERRIFIC AMOUNT OF NOISE AND BOTHER.
"YOU HAVE TO BUILD SOMETHING THAT WILL KEEP THE WORLD FROM GOING TOO FAR, MAYBE EVEN GOING POOF.
" WHAT THE PENNIES DO FOR BIG BEN THIS DOES FOR THE WORLD.
WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS WHO'S SPEAKING TO YOU? WELL, SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S GOD AND THEN I THINK, NO, GOD WOULD HAVE A DEEPER VOICE.
WOULD YOU CARE FOR A PRUNE, DOCTOR? NO, THANK YOU.
I WAS JUST LEAVING.
BUT YOU'VE JUST ARRIVED.
CAREFUL! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE THING WORKS.
ALL I KNOW IS THE VOICE TELLS ME WHAT IT NEEDS, AND I GET IT.
GOOD-BYE, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
YOU KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
WE COULD CALL IT A SCULPTURE.
WOULD THAT MAKE MY NIECE HAPPY? WHAT? OH, NO.
IF YOU HAPPEN TO RUN ACROSS AN OLD TUBA, WOULD YOU BRING IT BY? I NEED IT IN TWO HOURS.
TUBA Edgar: CYNTHIA, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
UNCLE EDGAR, PLEASE.
IT'S JUST FOR THREE DAYS, WHILE THEY OBSERVE YOU.
IT'S TOO LONG.
IT HAS TO BE MAINTAINED, KEPT IN BALANCE.
MR.
WITHERSPOON, YOU HEAR VOICES.
THAT ISN'T NORMAL.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT.
YOU HEAR VOICES, TOO.
NO, HEALTHY PEOPLE DO NOT HEAR VOICES.
YOU HEAR MINE, DON'T YOU? THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING.
WHY? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SANE MAN HEARING A CRAZY VOICE AND A CRAZY MAN HEARING A SANE VOICE? MAYBE THE TRUTH IS SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE RISK YOU'RE TAKING.
I KNOW IT.
THERE GOES TATOA.
WHAT'S TATOA? A TINY ISLAND IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC.
WHAT TIME IS IT? AT 3:17 IN THE AFTERNOON, TATOA BECAME HISTORY BECAUSE OF YOU! PLEASE, WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME.
IT WILL TAKE ME DAYS TO CLEAN UP THIS JOINT.
KEEP HER AWAY FROM IT.
REMEMBER TATOA! CLASSIC PSYCHOSIS-- TIRED, FEELING USELESS HE CREATED A TYPICAL DELUSION OF GRANDEUR THAT HE WAS VITAL TO THE WORLD'S SURVIVAL.
POOR UNCLE EDGAR.
YOU WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM, WON'T YOU? Mideast stalemate continues.
Congress passes transportation act.
And in the South Pacific the tiny island of Tatoa is destroyed by a tidal wave.
Details on this and all the news in an hour.
DID HE SAY TATOA? YES.
THE NUMBER FOR THECHRONICLE,PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
HELLO.
I WANT TO CHECK ON A NEWS STORY.
I JUST HEARD SOMETHING ON THE RADIO ABOUT A TIDAL WAVE DESTROYING AN ISLAND.
YES, THAT'S IT.
ARE THERE ANY DETAILS? REALLY, FROM OUT OF NOWHERE? WHEN THIS AFTERNOON? EXACTLY WHAT TIME? THANK YOU.
MS.
WALKER.
YES, DOCTOR.
TATOA WAS DESTROYED AT 3:17 THIS AFTERNOON.
IS THAT BAD? LAST WEEK SANTA BARBARA WAS HIT BY AN EARTHQUAKE.
I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
OH, MY GOD, THE LANDLADY.
SHE'LL DESTROY IT.
SANTA BARBARA? GET MR.
WITHERSPOON RELEASED IMMEDIATELY.
DRIVE HIM HOME-- YOU, PERSONALLY.
AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
DON'T TOUCH A THING! YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU? YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED ANYTHING OR MOVED ANYTHING? NOT YET.
WHY? BECAUSE THIS IS THE CREATION OF A DISORDERED MIND.
BY STUDYING IT, ANALYZING IT EXACTLY AS HE LEFT IT, I CAN COME TO A DEEPER INSIGHT INTO MR.
WITHERSPOON'S PROBLEM.
HE'S A LOONY! WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW? NO, IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
I CAN'T RENT THIS PLACE WITH GARBAGE IN IT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL RENT IT.
YOU? YES YES.
I'LL GIVE YOU DOUBLE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING.
I'LL BE UP LATER WITH A CHECK.
THANK YOU, MRS.
MILLIGAN.
HE'S ESCAPED.
Edgar: EXCUSE ME.
HELLO.
OH! MR.
WITHERSPOON.
MR.
WITHERSPOON! Milligan: SHOULD I CALL THE COPS? NO, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, MRS.
MILLIGAN.
YOU GOT A HANDKERCHIEF? OH, YES.
YES, RIGHT AWAY.
THANKS.
THAT LADY HAD ME DRESSED SO FAST, I LEFT MINE BEHIND.
MR.
WITHERSPOON, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BEGIN TO APOLOGIZE.
NOTHING IN MY TRAINING HAD PREPARED ME FOR A CASE LIKE YOURS.
WELL, NICE MEETING YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? AWAY, FINALLY, AFTER 11 YEARS.
BUT WHAT ABOUT "POOF"? THE VOICE SPOKE TO ME WHILE I WAS IN YOUR HOSPITAL.
IT SAID, "EDGAR, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO MIAMI?" I SAID, "NO, BUT I USED TO THINK IT WOULD BE A NICE PLACE TO RETIRE.
" "GO FOR IT," THE VOICE SAID.
"YOU'RE OFF DUTY.
" YOU MEAN ALL THIS ISN'T NECESSARY ANYMORE? SURE IT IS.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL.
THE WORLD STILL HAS TO BE KEPT IN BALANCE.
SO WHO'S GOING TO LOOK, IT NEEDS ADJUSTING ALREADY.
THERE, THAT'S IT.
NOW, IF I CAN JUST GET A PING- PONG BALL IN THERE BY 7:13 I GUESS WE SOLVED THAT LITTLE PROBLEM.
I'D GET CRACKING, IF I WAS YOU.
IMPOSSIBLE.
I REFUSE.
JEREMY, REALLY, YOU'LL GROW TO LIKE IT.
GIVE IT A CHANCE.
SO LONG.
DON'T TAKE ANY WOODEN NICKELS UNLESS YOU REALLY NEED THEM, OF COURSE.
MR.
WITHERSPOON.
MR.
WITHERSPOON! WHAT? OH, NO.
NO A TAMBOURINE! YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.
I HAVE TO FIND A TAMBOURINE RIGHT AWAY.
PLEASE, I CAN'T CAN YOU HELP ME? DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND A TAMBOURINE? Narrator: IF, IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS YOU NOTICE THERE'S BEEN A SPATE OF CATASTROPHES OR THINGS ARE JUST NOT GOING RIGHT REMEMBER THAT EDGAR WITHERSPOON'S REPLACEMENT IS LEARNING HOW TO MAKE SOME PRECISE ADJUSTMENTS.
DON'T WORRY.
HIS EDUCATION WILL NOT LAST LONG.
THEN YOU MIGHT GIVE THANKS TO A PHYSICIAN WHOSE PRACTICE EXTENDS TO THE WELL-BEING OF THE ENTIRE PLANET.
DR.
JEREMY SINCLAIR OFFERS A UNIQUE FORM OF PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE FOUND ONLY IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
THAT'S WHAT HE IS.
A LOONY.
A NUT CASE.
A GENUINE WACKO.
UNCLE EDGAR IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THINGS.
THINGS LIKE THREE PAPER CLIPS OR A CHROME COAT HANGER.
OR ONE PATENT LEATHER TAP SHOE.
HE RUMMAGES THROUGH TRASH CANS.
HE GOES TO GARBAGE DUMPS.
HE'S ALWAYS BOTHERING MY OTHER TENANTS.
ONE DAY IT'S BICYCLE SPOKES.
THEN IT'S BASEBALL CARDS.
AND WHO DO THE TENANTS COMPLAIN TO? YOURS TRULY.
HE WON'T LET ANYBODY INTO HIS APARTMENT.
NOT EVEN HIS OWN NIECE.
THAT JUNK HE'S COLLECTING IS A FIRE TRAP.
HE COULD HURT HIMSELF.
AND OTHER PEOPLE.
NAMELY ME.
HE NEEDS YOUR HELP.
YESTERDAY HE WANTED A YO-YO.
BY 6:00.
AND LAST WEEK PIECES OF BROKEN DOLLS HEADS, ARMS, LEGS.
PLEASE DO SOMETHING, DOCTOR.
PLEASE, FOR HIS SAKE.
AND OURS.
(beeping) OF COURSE.
(beeping) Woman: HIS BELL DON'T WORK.
AH, MRS.
MILLIGAN.
I THINK HE'S DISCONNECTED IT.
DOWN THERE IN THE BASEMENT.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANKS ANYWAY, MR.
PILCHICK BUT I ALREADY FOUND A BRASS THIMBLE.
YOU'RE NOT MR.
PILCHICK.
I'M DR.
JEREMY SINCLAIR.
MAY I TALK TO YOU? SOME OTHER TIME.
I HAVE TO LOOK FOR A DOLL'S HEAD.
Narrator: ONE OLD MAN IN A PRIVATE WORLD OF IRRATIONAL URGENCIES.
FOR DR.
JEREMY SINCLAIR, AN ALL-TOO-COMMON SIGHT.
BUT EDGAR WITHERSPOON IS A MOST UNCOMMON OLD MAN WITH A SECRET THAT REACHES OUT TO THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH AS THE GOOD DOCTOR IS ABOUT TO DISCOVER.
YOUR NIECE SHE WORRIES ABOUT YOU.
SHE'S A VERY NICE WOMAN, SO TELL HER NOT TO WORRY.
SEE? A SIMPLE SOLUTION.
THANKS FOR COMING.
IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE MEETING YOU BUT I HAVE TO GET ON WITH MY WORK.
YOUR WORK? I BET YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS, WOULDN'T YOU? YES.
WRONG ANSWER.
YOU SEE A DOLL'S HEAD HERE ANYWHERE? YOU MEAN LIKE THAT? OH, TOO BIG.
ALSO BRUNETTE.
I NEED BLONDE.
AND I NEED IT IN FIVE MINUTES.
AND WHAT FOR? YOU WANT SANTA BARBARA TO FALL INTO THE OCEAN? NO.
THEN STAND ASIDE, SIR.
STAND ASIDE.
WHOO-WHOO! JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME.
NO TIME TO LOSE.
MR.
WITHERSPOON I'M SORRY.
I SHOULDN'T BE RUDE.
YOU'VE COME ALL THIS WAY TO SEE ME.
MAY I COME IN? AND IT WAS SO NICE-- A PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
TELL MY NIECE HELLO.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I'VE GOT TO STOP THE SHAKING IN SANTA BARBARA.
MR.
WITHERSPOON OH, ON YOUR WAY OUT COULD YOU DUMP THIS? GOOD AFTERNOON, DOCTOR.
DID YOU SEE UNCLE EDGAR? YES, THIS MORNING.
WELL? I WOULDN'T EXACTLY CALL IT A LONG CONVERSATION.
BUT LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE HE? OH, ABSOLUTELY.
ON THE OTHER HAND MR.
WITHERSPOON APPEARS HAPPY AND QUITE HARMLESS.
HARMLESS? HE PESTERS STRANGERS ON THE STREET.
HE RUNS AFTER GARBAGE TRUCKS.
THAT IS FAR FROM HARMLESS.
SOMEBODY SAW HIM TAKE A BABY'S BOTTLE OUT OF ITS CARRIAGE.
I'M AFRAID HE'LL GET ARRESTED NEXT TIME.
DOCTOR, I WILL SIGN ANYTHING COOPERATE IN ANY WAY ALL RIGHT, MAYBE I'LL HAVE ANOTHER CHAT WITH HIM-- A LONGER ONE-- AND SEE IF I Newscaster: In Santa Barbara a small earthquake tremor was felt shortly before noon today.
The force was enough to rattle dishes and a few nerves DID YOU HEAR THAT? WHAT? THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT A SORRY, IT'S NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.
I'LL CALL YOU AS SOON AS I CAN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
(knocking) MR.
WITHERSPOON? GO AWAY.
I'M NOT HOME.
IT'S DR.
SINCLAIR.
I WAS HERE LAST WEEK.
DO YOU REMEMBER? SORRY, I WASN'T HOME LAST WEEK EITHER.
MR.
WITHERSPOON, I COULD LEGALLY FORCE YOU TO OPEN THIS DOOR TO ME.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YOU'RE A CURIOUS ONE.
ODD, YOU MEAN? I MEAN NOSY.
I'M PAID TO BE NOSY.
CURIOUS, YOU MEAN.
REALLY? DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S ODD? MOST PEOPLE ARE CURIOUS FOR NOTHING.
THAT'S VERY NICE FOR YOU.
ARE THE HOURS GOOD? MR.
WITHERSPOON, WHY DO YOU COLLECT DOLLS' HEADS SHOES, PAPER CLIPS? I CAN'T AFFORD REMBRANDTS.
WHAT? OH, NO.
OH, NO.
AS USUAL, IT'S BEEN LOVELY.
PLEASE DON'T CALL AGAIN.
I MAY HAVE TO.
THE NEXT TIME, IT MIGHT NOT BE SO LOVELY.
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER INVITE ME IN OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL? IF YOU MUST, YOU MUST.
(soft ticking and whirring) BE VERY,VERYCAREFUL WHERE YOU WALK.
(irregular chiming) (regular chiming) THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE.
THIS IS VERY, UH INTERESTING, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
WHAT, UM WHAT IS IT? THIS? THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS THE WORLD FROM GOING POOF! LET ME UNDERSTAND YOU CLEARLY, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
YOU SAY THIS THIS IS WHAT KEEPS THE WORLD FROM GOING POOF? IT'S NOT EASY.
MOST THINGS ARE NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND.
WHERE WOULD YOU LOOK FOR A SKATE KEY? I CAN'T IMAGINE.
I FOUND ONE, THOUGH.
THINK THAT'S CRAZY? WELL YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A BUSINESS CARD, WOULD YOU? OH, YES, OF COURSE.
THAT WAS AN EASY ONE.
WELL, I WON'T TAKE UP ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.
I'VE SEEN MORE THAN ENOUGH.
I USED TO BE AN ENGINEER.
EARNED LOTS OF MONEY.
THEN I RETIRED-- WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE.
LIFE WAS SO DAMNED BORING.
THEN THE VOICE SPOKE TO ME.
YOU ALSO HEAR VOICES? YOU, TOO? PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I WAS SITTING IN THE PARK ONE DAY FEEDING THE PIGEONS AND SUDDENLY THERE IT WAS-- THE VOICE.
"EDGAR," IT SAID "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ENGLAND?" OH, YES.
WHY? NO, THAT'S WHAT THE VOICE ASKED ME.
"EDGAR," IT SAID "IN THE HEART OF BIG BEN "THERE IS A PENDULUM THAT TELLS THE CLOCK HOW FAST TO TICK.
"AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PENDULUM, ON TOP OF THE BIG WEIGHT "THERE'S A STACK OF PENNIES.
"EVERY SO OFTEN THEY TAKE ONE OFF.
"THE CLOCK SPEEDS UP.
"OR THEY PUT ONE ON.
"THE CLOCK SLOWS DOWN.
"THE PENNIES CHANGE THE BALANCE JUST A LITTLE BUT ENOUGH TO KEEP THE WHOLE MECHANISM RUNNING PERFECTLY.
" SO WHAT YOU HAVE HERE IS SOME KIND OF CLOCK.
OF COURSE NOT.
WHY WOULD I BUILD A CLOCK? $3.
00, ANY DRUGSTORE.
DOESN'T LOSE 10 SECONDS A YEAR.
ANYWAY, THE VOICE SAID, "EDGAR, THE WORLD IS A FUNNY PLACE.
"LITTLE WARS HERE, BIG WARS THERE.
"VOLCANOES GOING OFF, STORMS, TORNADOES.
"A TERRIFIC AMOUNT OF NOISE AND BOTHER.
"YOU HAVE TO BUILD SOMETHING THAT WILL KEEP THE WORLD FROM GOING TOO FAR, MAYBE EVEN GOING POOF.
" WHAT THE PENNIES DO FOR BIG BEN THIS DOES FOR THE WORLD.
WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS WHO'S SPEAKING TO YOU? WELL, SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S GOD AND THEN I THINK, NO, GOD WOULD HAVE A DEEPER VOICE.
WOULD YOU CARE FOR A PRUNE, DOCTOR? NO, THANK YOU.
I WAS JUST LEAVING.
BUT YOU'VE JUST ARRIVED.
CAREFUL! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE THING WORKS.
ALL I KNOW IS THE VOICE TELLS ME WHAT IT NEEDS, AND I GET IT.
GOOD-BYE, MR.
WITHERSPOON.
YOU KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
WE COULD CALL IT A SCULPTURE.
WOULD THAT MAKE MY NIECE HAPPY? WHAT? OH, NO.
IF YOU HAPPEN TO RUN ACROSS AN OLD TUBA, WOULD YOU BRING IT BY? I NEED IT IN TWO HOURS.
TUBA Edgar: CYNTHIA, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
UNCLE EDGAR, PLEASE.
IT'S JUST FOR THREE DAYS, WHILE THEY OBSERVE YOU.
IT'S TOO LONG.
IT HAS TO BE MAINTAINED, KEPT IN BALANCE.
MR.
WITHERSPOON, YOU HEAR VOICES.
THAT ISN'T NORMAL.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT.
YOU HEAR VOICES, TOO.
NO, HEALTHY PEOPLE DO NOT HEAR VOICES.
YOU HEAR MINE, DON'T YOU? THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING.
WHY? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SANE MAN HEARING A CRAZY VOICE AND A CRAZY MAN HEARING A SANE VOICE? MAYBE THE TRUTH IS SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE RISK YOU'RE TAKING.
I KNOW IT.
THERE GOES TATOA.
WHAT'S TATOA? A TINY ISLAND IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC.
WHAT TIME IS IT? AT 3:17 IN THE AFTERNOON, TATOA BECAME HISTORY BECAUSE OF YOU! PLEASE, WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME.
IT WILL TAKE ME DAYS TO CLEAN UP THIS JOINT.
KEEP HER AWAY FROM IT.
REMEMBER TATOA! CLASSIC PSYCHOSIS-- TIRED, FEELING USELESS HE CREATED A TYPICAL DELUSION OF GRANDEUR THAT HE WAS VITAL TO THE WORLD'S SURVIVAL.
POOR UNCLE EDGAR.
YOU WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM, WON'T YOU? Mideast stalemate continues.
Congress passes transportation act.
And in the South Pacific the tiny island of Tatoa is destroyed by a tidal wave.
Details on this and all the news in an hour.
DID HE SAY TATOA? YES.
THE NUMBER FOR THECHRONICLE,PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
HELLO.
I WANT TO CHECK ON A NEWS STORY.
I JUST HEARD SOMETHING ON THE RADIO ABOUT A TIDAL WAVE DESTROYING AN ISLAND.
YES, THAT'S IT.
ARE THERE ANY DETAILS? REALLY, FROM OUT OF NOWHERE? WHEN THIS AFTERNOON? EXACTLY WHAT TIME? THANK YOU.
MS.
WALKER.
YES, DOCTOR.
TATOA WAS DESTROYED AT 3:17 THIS AFTERNOON.
IS THAT BAD? LAST WEEK SANTA BARBARA WAS HIT BY AN EARTHQUAKE.
I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
OH, MY GOD, THE LANDLADY.
SHE'LL DESTROY IT.
SANTA BARBARA? GET MR.
WITHERSPOON RELEASED IMMEDIATELY.
DRIVE HIM HOME-- YOU, PERSONALLY.
AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
DON'T TOUCH A THING! YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU? YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED ANYTHING OR MOVED ANYTHING? NOT YET.
WHY? BECAUSE THIS IS THE CREATION OF A DISORDERED MIND.
BY STUDYING IT, ANALYZING IT EXACTLY AS HE LEFT IT, I CAN COME TO A DEEPER INSIGHT INTO MR.
WITHERSPOON'S PROBLEM.
HE'S A LOONY! WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW? NO, IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
I CAN'T RENT THIS PLACE WITH GARBAGE IN IT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL RENT IT.
YOU? YES YES.
I'LL GIVE YOU DOUBLE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING.
I'LL BE UP LATER WITH A CHECK.
THANK YOU, MRS.
MILLIGAN.
HE'S ESCAPED.
Edgar: EXCUSE ME.
HELLO.
OH! MR.
WITHERSPOON.
MR.
WITHERSPOON! Milligan: SHOULD I CALL THE COPS? NO, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, MRS.
MILLIGAN.
YOU GOT A HANDKERCHIEF? OH, YES.
YES, RIGHT AWAY.
THANKS.
THAT LADY HAD ME DRESSED SO FAST, I LEFT MINE BEHIND.
MR.
WITHERSPOON, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BEGIN TO APOLOGIZE.
NOTHING IN MY TRAINING HAD PREPARED ME FOR A CASE LIKE YOURS.
WELL, NICE MEETING YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? AWAY, FINALLY, AFTER 11 YEARS.
BUT WHAT ABOUT "POOF"? THE VOICE SPOKE TO ME WHILE I WAS IN YOUR HOSPITAL.
IT SAID, "EDGAR, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO MIAMI?" I SAID, "NO, BUT I USED TO THINK IT WOULD BE A NICE PLACE TO RETIRE.
" "GO FOR IT," THE VOICE SAID.
"YOU'RE OFF DUTY.
" YOU MEAN ALL THIS ISN'T NECESSARY ANYMORE? SURE IT IS.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL.
THE WORLD STILL HAS TO BE KEPT IN BALANCE.
SO WHO'S GOING TO LOOK, IT NEEDS ADJUSTING ALREADY.
THERE, THAT'S IT.
NOW, IF I CAN JUST GET A PING- PONG BALL IN THERE BY 7:13 I GUESS WE SOLVED THAT LITTLE PROBLEM.
I'D GET CRACKING, IF I WAS YOU.
IMPOSSIBLE.
I REFUSE.
JEREMY, REALLY, YOU'LL GROW TO LIKE IT.
GIVE IT A CHANCE.
SO LONG.
DON'T TAKE ANY WOODEN NICKELS UNLESS YOU REALLY NEED THEM, OF COURSE.
MR.
WITHERSPOON.
MR.
WITHERSPOON! WHAT? OH, NO.
NO A TAMBOURINE! YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.
I HAVE TO FIND A TAMBOURINE RIGHT AWAY.
PLEASE, I CAN'T CAN YOU HELP ME? DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND A TAMBOURINE? Narrator: IF, IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS YOU NOTICE THERE'S BEEN A SPATE OF CATASTROPHES OR THINGS ARE JUST NOT GOING RIGHT REMEMBER THAT EDGAR WITHERSPOON'S REPLACEMENT IS LEARNING HOW TO MAKE SOME PRECISE ADJUSTMENTS.
DON'T WORRY.
HIS EDUCATION WILL NOT LAST LONG.
THEN YOU MIGHT GIVE THANKS TO A PHYSICIAN WHOSE PRACTICE EXTENDS TO THE WELL-BEING OF THE ENTIRE PLANET.
DR.
JEREMY SINCLAIR OFFERS A UNIQUE FORM OF PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE FOUND ONLY IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.