This is Us (2016) s03e01 Episode Script

1 Previously on This Is Us - Toby! - What? What? I know how difficult this is.
The good news is that you got pregnant, which means you can try again in as soon as in four weeks.
Thank you for doing this wedding, Lady.
Any family of yours is mine, right? - I liked your toast.
- Thank you.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry it's the couch for tonight.
Good night, Deja.
Good night.
SHAUNA: I got to go.
And I can't take her with me.
You're not just my great love story, Rebecca.
You were my big break.
And our love story I know it may not feel like it right now, but I promise you, it's just getting started.
("TREETOP FLYER" BY STEPHEN STILLS PLAYING) (EXHALES) I could be a rambler From the seven dials I don't pay taxes I never file MAN: Yeah, Ma.
I-I'll just rent a car at the airport tonight, drive to you.
I make lasagna, ah? Your favorite.
Right now I got nerves so bad, I-I can't even think about eating.
Don't have nerves.
You will be great.
Dad and the boys excited about today? Your father, your brothers, everybody, so very excited about today.
What about you, Ma? I just cook.
You know this.
Ma, I'm going out with Michael.
Don't get pregnant, ah? (KIDS LAUGH) - Tobe? - Mmm.
Let's make a baby.
I'm your huckleberry.
I could be a rambler From the seven dials Don't pay taxes I never file I don't do business That don't make me smile So the pregnancy was a fluke.
No, no.
But it's good we're looking into this now.
The tests show you have PCOS.
It could be linked to your weight and causing fertility problems.
I'd also like to have you checked, Toby.
I love my aeroplane She got style Treetop flyer (VOCALIZING) Born survivor (VOCALIZING) Deja what is this? What did you do? I'm sorry.
We've been working through a lot this summer since your mom left.
Those feelings don't just go away overnight.
Whew! Wearing out my running shoes keeping up with you, girl.
JUDGE: Ms.
Andrews, do you understand that you are voluntarily giving up all of your rights as a parent - and that this decision is permanent? - Yes.
And the father was given notice of today's hearing.
No objection there.
He's not gonna object.
He made it clear he wants no part.
(VOCALIZING) Born survivor So I say to her, "Babe, I can't tonight.
You know my rule: no hanky-panky before work.
" Oh, God, I can't.
Beth would kill me.
(VOCALIZING) Born survivor Beth doesn't need to know everything.
(VOCALIZING) - Oh.
- It's good! - The crowd goes crazy! - (PHONE CHIMES) - What's up? - (GASPS) Nothing.
(CROWD CHEERING) The pro football playoffs began today, and the American Football Conference Pittsburgh defeated Oakland by the score of 13 to seven.
The game ended in very remarkable fashion I've never seen a game end like that.
Crazy.
Just crazy.
I love this song.
I'm bein' followed by a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow Leapin' and hoppin' on a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow Hey, look at this guy.
- He's done for.
- (LAUGHS) Lose my plow and lose my land Oh, if I ever lose my hands (VOCALIZING) My mother says that at a certain point I have to get realistic about my life.
But I just I don't know if I agree with that.
You know what I mean? Because I'm a singer.
(WHISPERING): Wow, I said that out loud, that I'm a singer.
I'm a singer.
(LAUGHS) I have been sending my demo off, and I have this dream of signing with Reprise Records out in Los Angeles.
They're the ones who put out - the last Joni Mitchell album, Blue.
- Oh I'm sorry, I feel like I'm talking too much.
Am I talking too much? 'Cause I feel like I'm talking too much.
Please tell me something about you.
Uh well my name's Jack.
(LAUGHS) Okay, that's a good place to start, Jack.
Do you Do you maybe want to get out of here? I don't mean that the way that it sounded.
- I just - Yeah.
- The food here is terrible.
- No, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, - let's get out of here.
- Okay, great.
I'm gonna go get my jacket.
All right.
- I'll meet you outside.
- Okay.
(CAR HORN HONKS) Jesus, what the hell happened, man? I met the girl.
You met a girl while No, no, no, no.
The girl.
Hey, h-how much money you got? None.
Which is why we're here in the first place.
Hurry up.
How much money you got on you? All right, I got I got four bucks.
Four bucks? Okay.
I-I got five.
Nine bucks to show my dream girl the night of her life.
Okay, I'll call you tomorrow.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
I didn't get him anything.
Please.
You're a kid.
Just paint some macaroni, throw it on a piece of string, and call it a day.
(LAUGHS) - Mm-mm.
- Aw, damn.
I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed.
Happy birthday, baby.
Mmm.
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
I just finished working out.
Sorry, I stink.
- I love your stink.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh oh - (CHUCKLES) - Damn.
- Hey, I warned you.
Oh, you did.
Yo, it's a good thing Zoe's staying here while she's making her documentary.
Otherwise, Deja might never smile again.
You really want to have the talk with her today? Can't keep avoiding it.
Plus, I got a plan.
I can connect with her on this.
Oh, hon, uh, don't shoot, I'm just the messenger, but Kevin has requested a gluten-free birthday cake tonight.
Kevin's coming tonight? It's cool.
It's cool.
Now I'm sure of it.
Your brother and my cousin are knockin' boots.
What you talking about, Beth? It's an expression from the '90s.
It means that they are having sex.
I'm familiar with the expression, woman.
I'm just asking why are you so positive? - Because I know.
- But you don't.
- You need to talk to him.
- And say what? Tell him to "get the hell off of Beth's cousin before I kill you in the face.
" I will say no such thing, especially when we have no evidence to prove it.
And I need you to swear that you won't say anything tonight.
- (CHUCKLES) - Hey-hey-hey, it is my birthday.
And I need you to swear to it on Oprah.
- I'm not doing that.
- Beth.
Fine.
I will swear on Oprah.
Thank you.
Hey, Deja, come on, let's take a ride.
Even Gayle let Oprah down sometimes.
Heard it was your birthday.
What are you turning? Oh, yeah, I'm turning 30-none-of-your-business.
That's how old I'm turning.
Thank you.
Few of my colleagues screened the movie last night.
They were raving about it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Oh, man, I hope so.
I haven't seen it yet.
You know, truth be told, I'm, uh, scared to see it.
I'm just gonna wait till the premiere next week.
I'm gonna watch it then and just rip the Band-Aid off.
(PHONE VIBRATING) - Do you mind if I? - Sure.
Go ahead.
- Is that okay? I'll be right back.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Hey.
So, what am I, just an afternoon booty call to you? Because that would be amazing.
You can't come to your birthday party tonight.
- Oh, um - (SCOFFS) If she sees us together, Beth is gonna figure it out.
She's already been sniffing things out.
She is like a secret bloodhound.
Meaning she sniffs out secrets like a bloodhound, or she's actually secretly a bloodhound? - You have to cancel.
- I'm not canceling.
This is my birthday party, okay? I'm not canceling you cancel.
Okay.
No touching, no flirting, and, um, don't do that thing where you half smile, 'cause automatically, it makes me full smile, and she'll see.
Fine.
But you know what? You can't dress all crazy, okay? Because for some reason, the more you dress like Mia Farrow, the hotter I get.
- Fine.
- Fine.
Oh, and you know what? Don't talk about your weird documentary.
Okay? Because it makes you sound really smart, and when you sound really smart, I half smile, and when I half smile, it makes you full smile.
You hung up on "fine," didn't you? Yeah, you did.
Hung up on "fine.
" Fine.
(MUTTERING): "In vitro fertilization" (WHISPERING): Stop with the notebook.
I am writing down key words so I can remember stuff.
As you can see, I have polycystic ovary syndrome.
- And Toby - Yeah.
I-I have sperm, just not a lot of them.
You know, and none of them are breaking 40-yard dash records at the NFL Combine, if you know what I'm saying.
You've been on the antidepressant how long? Uh, six years.
Well, it's possible they're causing the decreased sperm count.
Uh, it's also possible that they're preventing me from crying all the time, so (TOBY LAUGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) Look, Doc, this is why we're here, okay? To start IVF.
You are the best and Kate is the best and I am the best.
- (GIGGLES) - So Um, it's my 38th birthday, and sometimes, I swear, I can hear the clock just ticking.
Uh, but when we got this appointment with you, on my birthday no less, I feel like the universe just intervened.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm not going to be able to take you on as a patient.
Wh-What? Why? At your weight, the chances of a successful pregnancy are very slim, even if you go through in vitro.
Yeah, we know.
And we don't care, and we, we want to try.
And I admire that.
But egg retrieval is invasive.
At your BMI, going under anesthesia for an elective procedure is not advisable.
Yeah, we know all the risks.
We've talked about it for hours on end.
All right? But we, we want to take our chances.
It's not just up to me, unfortunately.
I have partners at my practice, there are liability issues.
I'm not gonna be able to help you here, Kate.
And I fear you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone who will.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) Okay.
Got it.
Thank you for explaining that to us.
Um, my friend is throwing me a birthday brunch, so I know it's difficult.
Yeah.
Is that it? Okay, uh, it was really nice to meet you.
Excuse me.
I would not have taken you for a carnival type of guy.
Oh, yeah.
Love a good carnival.
Two tickets? That'll be, uh, five bucks.
No, no, no.
I, I got it.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- You see the game? - (SCOFFS) Crazy.
- Crazy.
- Did-did you see the game? What game? New to America.
Yeah.
(JACK CHUCKLES) (GASPS) They have candy apples? - I love candy apples.
- Oh.
When I was a little girl, - I lost a baby tooth in a candy apple - Uh-huh? and I put the whole thing underneath my pillow for the tooth fairy.
My mother was furious, because, of course, I ruined a set of pillowcases.
Well, how-how about we, uh, how about we get you one for old times' sake? Yeah.
- Okay.
- Sure.
Oh, and a hot chocolate.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
Um, one hot chocolate and one candy apple? That'll be two dollars.
- See the game? - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Insane.
Thank you.
You didn't want anything? - No, I'm okay.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
(LAUGHS) Mmm.
What? You, uh, you got something - on your, on your - What? - It's a piece of candy.
- Can you get it? - May I? Yeah - Yeah.
Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
- (CHUCKLES) (BIRDS CHIRPING) Hello, hello.
Cool uncle in the house.
- ZOE: Kevin.
Hey! How are you? - Good.
- It's been a while, huh? - Yeah.
- Since the wedding.
- What-what are we doing? You swore on Oprah, you swore on Oprah, you swore on Oprah.
I've been hanging out here a lot, seeing the girls.
- Okay.
- Cutting my documentary in the city.
Oh, hey, Beth.
We just ran into each other out here.
Cool, cool.
You two are knocking boots.
- Oh.
- Uh You know, we don't have to go to this thing.
We can just call and tell 'em you're not feeling well.
Tobe, I can't bail on my own party.
Honestly.
And I'm fine.
It's not the first time I caught a bad break.
- (LOW CHATTER) - Hey.
Hi.
ALL: Hi! RANDALL: Okay.
We're here.
So this is the apartment building Beth and I bought last year.
It's where I found my biological father.
Knocked on the door of that building two years ago.
Two years ago to the day.
Came in hot, too.
Banging on that mug like a Real Housewife, ready to throw down, you know what I'm saying? You see, my father my biological father was standing on the other side of that door.
Wound up getting less than a year with him.
I found him, then I lost him all over again.
Then I bought his building.
Guess you don't have to drop a hundo an hour on a therapist to crack that case, huh? (LAUGHS SOFTLY) It has defined my life, being adopted.
It's defined my life, even when I didn't realize it was defining it.
And I think the part of that, at least for me, is that this big giant thing happened to me, and I didn't have any say in it.
And I don't want that to be the case for you.
Deja, we'd like to formally adopt you.
They're saying we can't foster you forever, that we got to sign some papers and start a process.
And as much as we would love that, we don't want it to happen unless it's your choice.
You want me to say something, I know.
No, I'm okay with whatever you decide, just as long as it's your choice.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) My choice.
Look, you're a very nice person and you have a very nice family, and I'm real grateful for what you've done for me, but when you try and pretend like we're the same - I'm not trying to pretend - You're not? 'Cause I feel like we just drove an hour just so you could show me how the same we are.
You had one family your whole life.
Two dads who loved you.
I had one dad who never wanted me.
One mom who left me.
So don't tell me we're the same, Randall.
Don't tell me that I have a choice in anything.
I'd like to leave now if that's okay.
I'm sorry to keep rambling.
Will you please tell me something about you? Like, I don't even know what do you do.
I'm kind of in between jobs right now.
- Mm-hmm.
- I just I just I got, I got back from Vietnam - not too long ago.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, God, was it just awful? I mean, of course it was.
I'm so sorry that I asked.
No, no.
No, no, no.
I was just a mechanic.
- Huh.
- Yeah.
Do you have any siblings? I had a brother.
He died in the war.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
God, I'm so sorry.
I had no idea.
Of course you didn't.
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's (SIGHS) You know what? Can we try something? Let's answer at the same time.
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.
Cats or dogs? - Dogs.
- Cats.
- Okay.
How about one more time? - Sure.
- Um, pizza toppings.
- Okay.
Mushrooms or pepperoni? - Pepperoni.
- Mushrooms.
Is that rain? I think it's raining.
Yeah, I think it is raining.
Oh, wow, look.
That guy's already selling umbrellas.
Should we go get one? I-I don't think it's raining that bad, right? Uh uh, I guess not.
I mean, if you want, I can buy you an umbrella, but I don't think it's raining that hard is all.
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
BETH: Zoe, you could be with any other guy.
- You're gonna be with Kevin? - ZOE: Yes, I'm gonna be with Kevin.
- What in the holy hell are you thinking? - What? - What am I thinking? - Yes.
I'm thinking he looks like Batman and he is built like a truck.
- Will you stop with the honesty? - That's why.
- Uncle Kevin? - Yeah.
Are you dating Zoe? ZOE: I think I can make my own decisions on who I date.
- BETH: Okay, but Kevin?! Kevin?! - ZOE: Yes, Kevin! You know, we've been hanging out.
We've been hanging out a lot, actually.
You know, we don't, uh we don't talk about anything real or intense.
And for me, you know, that's-that's sort of the barometer of dating, right? Then again, I did date Jennifer Love Hewitt for the better part of a year, and we talked about nothing intense.
Do you know that he dated the woman from Party of Five? Well, I love Neve Campbell.
Can you keep a secret? Just between us gals? Huh? Huh.
I, uh I was gonna invite her to my premiere.
You know, sort of like I was asking her to prom.
You know what I mean? I thought it'd be kind of, kind of cute.
What do you think? Do you think she'd like that? - Yeah.
- Yeah? BETH: Why do you want to sit where you eat, Zoe?! Well, I'm gonna go check that out.
Okay? I'm gonna brave that one.
- Zoe, you're acting like a child.
- I am not.
- KEVIN: Hey.
- You know what? You, out.
You, sit.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
Nope.
Can't even look at you.
Get out again.
Happy birthday, dear Kate Happy birthday to you.
All right.
Make a wish.
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING) Do you want to know what I wished for? Uh, Kate, you can't say that or it won't come true.
- I wished for a baby.
- (WOMEN AWWING) But you're right, Madison, it won't come true.
And not because I said it out loud, but because we can't.
I can't.
Do you know that I've lost 40 pounds? Yep.
Slow and steady.
No fad diets, no pills.
No slipups.
I have been trapped in this body for so long.
Trapped.
And I try to stay positive.
God, I really do.
And I try not to ask myself: is my weight the reason why I had my miscarriage, or is it the reason why we can't get pregnant again? It's like this black cloud follows me around, and every time I get away from it, it catches up to me.
I am so tired.
I'm tired of smiling and pretending that it's sunny out.
I'm done.
Ooh.
When is the universe gonna give me a damn break? So, it's, um, a carrot cake.
Thank you.
Bad idea.
Bad, bad idea.
Deja, I'm sorry.
I really screwed that up.
Planned it for weeks, taking you there, talking to you.
- Kind of memorized my speech.
- I know.
It was lame of me to compare our situations.
But it's only because I really want all of this to work out.
I think you're an exceptional person, Deja.
I miss talking to you.
I'm sorry I screwed up your birthday, Randall.
No, it You didn't (SIGHS) You didn't screw up my birthday.
It didn't go so great.
Yeah? I was really hoping for a win today.
I know.
Zoe and Kevin are doing it.
Yeah? I had to say something.
I know.
I don't know how you're gonna make this right with Oprah, but I know.
I made a donation to her foundation.
Well, that's a start.
You don't have to pretend like you don't know who I am.
You don't have to pretend like you do.
I really don't care.
I just came here to say I'm gonna do something really great with my life and you're gonna miss it.
And my mom's gonna miss it, too, but that's okay 'cause I met these people.
They think I'm exceptional.
That's the word they use about me.
And they actually want me.
Like, they want me so bad that they plan out weird conversations to tell me.
So I came here to tell you that.
Actually, I came here to ask you for something.
One thing and then you'll never have to hear from me again.
You sure you don't want to play one of the games? Nah, I'm okay.
Thank you.
- I should probably get home.
- I mean, we could take a walk.
(THUNDER RUMBLES) Well, it was very nice to meet you, Jack.
Thank you for a nice night.
I couldn't pay for the umbrella.
I (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I started the night with nine bucks.
Five bucks to get in, two bucks for a candy apple and a hot chocolate, which is kind of a rip-off in my opinion, but that's neither here nor there.
That left me with two dollars.
And if I bought the umbrella, then I wouldn't have enough for any of the games.
I didn't know if you wanted to play any games, but I couldn't take that chance because, well, I-I-I brought you to a carnival, and you don't bring a girl to a carnival and-and not let her play any games.
I've been having a hard time since I got back.
Making money finding my place.
I don't like talking about the war.
Or my brother.
It makes me sad.
It makes me angry.
But I like talking to you.
A lot.
You make me feel like I'm home.
And I, and I never really felt like that before.
I'm sorry it was such a lousy first date.
I mean I'm really, very sorry.
- It's a hard no on cats? - Allergic.
Oh.
And mushrooms? - Oh, I hate 'em.
- (LAUGHS) No, like, I passionately hate them.
(LAUGHING): Okay.
Oh, yeah, it was a pretty bad first date.
I know.
And just a little bit Of rain My girlfriends told me I'm supposed to pretend to forget something in the car if it's a really great first date.
That way the guy has to come and return it the next day, but this was not that kind of first date, and I'm not that kind of girl.
Plus, the mushrooms are a non-starter for me.
(CHUCKLES) Lonely blue and sad times Oh, but the way that you look at me, wow.
And just a little bit of rain I never, ever do this.
Good night, Jack.
And if I look back I will remember All the good times Warm days Filled with sunshine (CHUCKLES) And just a little bit Of rain - Hey, listen - Nope.
Me.
All right.
You haven't seen through a romantic relationship in your entire life.
- Beth - Kevin Uh-uh, still me.
Look, I adore you, bro-in-law.
Okay? I know I don't always say it out loud because it kind of ruins my schtick, but I do.
You know, you're the only person who talks to my kids like they're people and not just kids.
You're kind.
You're funny.
And (CHUCKLES) everything about the way you look says people should hate you, but somehow everybody loves you.
I love you.
She will break you, Kevin.
I have known you for 20 years.
I have known her all of her life.
Her background is complicated.
She eats men up and spits them out, and you won't stand a chance.
I can't believe you know how to use the word "schtick.
" I know a lot of things, Kevin.
There are other ways to have children.
Yeah, I know.
The whole IVF thing was stressing me out.
I didn't like hearing the doctor talk about how it was dangerous for you.
I was scared, too.
And it probably wouldn't have worked anyway.
I was hoping you'd change your mind on the whole thing.
You know, the-the expense, the hormones, all of it.
I just wasn't feeling it.
Me either.
Look, I can pare back on my antidepressants, you know, get my sperm count up.
Maybe we get lucky? It only takes a couple months - to get the counts back up.
- No.
No way.
So screw IVF.
Screw IVF.
- Yeah, screw it.
- Yeah.
- (CHUCKLES) - (PHONE BUZZING) (TOBY SNORTS) Hello.
Oh, hi.
Um, yes.
5:00.
Um, okay.
Yeah, thank you.
What 5:00? That was Dr.
Jasper.
She wants us to come back in.
Uh All right, everybody, T-minus five minutes until the birthday festivities begin.
Hey, Deja, that means you, too.
Yo, Kev, Zoe! - Show yourselves before you get too - Really? Stop it.
I snuck out.
I went back to my old neighborhood.
Hey, Deja, there are rules here.
I don't care how upset you are with us, you don't get to just climb out of your window and go Oh my God, is that for me? (CHUCKLES) I like surprises.
It's about damn time.
I need the car.
What's with you? SPORTSCASTER (ON TV): When earlier today, we witnessed one of the most remarkable comebacks in history.
After Oakland's late touchdown, it looked like all was lost.
DR.
JASPER: I didn't like this morning.
Watching you leave like that, crushing you like that.
I got into this to make the impossible possible, not more impossible.
I've spoken to my partners.
I've spoken to colleagues who have had success with IVF at your weight.
Realistically, there's about a 90% chance of failure here, but I'm choosing to look at the ten percent side today.
So, if you want to move forward, knowing that, I will take you on as a patient.
- Really? - Really.
Really, really? SPORTSCASTER (ON TV): With just seconds left to play, Terry Bradshaw's pass was deflected.
All seemed lost for Pittsburgh until, in a miraculous turn of events, the ball fell right into the hands of star running back Franco Harris, who ran it in for the game-winning touchdown as time expired.
CURT GOWDY (ON TV): Franco Harris has it! And it's over! He grabbed it with five seconds to go and scored! Deja, are these expensive? - Like, how did you even? - I had a connection.
It's no big deal.
Oh, and you could sign those papers if you want.
GOWDY: You talk about Christmas miracles, here's the miracle of all miracles.
Franco, you remember now the ball coming to you? I don't know, like, I seen it bounce off and I just, you know, looked up and I just put my hands out and Apparently, you're gonna have to shoot me up with hormones every day.
It's gonna be like Requiem for a Dream up in here! That sounds good, hon.
SPORTSCASTER: It's just one of those plays that'll go down in history, a single moment - that changed destiny forever.
- (TOILET FLUSHING) It's time to go see her, Tess.
I'm not ready.
I'm just gonna run to the restroom before we head over.
I'll be right here.
(PHONE DIALING) (PHONE RINGING) - Hey, Randall.
- RANDALL (ON PHONE): Hey.
You coming down? (SIGHS) Yeah, I don't know if I should.
She wants you to be there, too.
All right, I'll see you soon.
RANDALL: All right, bye.
SPORTSCASTER: And while there may be heartbreak tonight in Oakland, here in Pittsburgh, they're calling it the Immaculate Reception.
(LAUGHTER) (DOORBELL RINGS) SPORTSCASTER: A reminder for all of us, I think, that sometimes a ball has to bounce off one person a few times to wind up in the hands of the right guy and make a story truly immortal.