Transparent (2014) s03e01 Episode Script
Eliza
You wake up.
Two words emblazoned on your chest.
It's time.
You're gonna make a break for freedom.
You will not be a slave anymore.
You get out of bed, you grab your things, you run outside, and then there you are.
Free.
First light of day.
Behind you is your past.
Everything you came from.
Everything that you thought you knew.
You start running.
As you run, you listen for the voice of the divine.
But you hear nothing.
So you stop.
You listen closer.
What what is that? Is it nothing? No.
It is stillness.
(WATER TRICKLING) (SNIFFING) (DEEP BREATH) (DOOR OPENS) Oh, there's my purse.
How you doin' this morning? I'm good.
I just said Au revoir to your love.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
That's a pretty shawl.
Yeah.
It's pashmina.
Blue.
You like? It's a nice color.
- Yeah? - Looks good on you.
- Really? - Uh-huh.
(SIGHS) You okay? Yeah.
I'm all right.
Yeah.
Everything's great.
Vicki loves me.
And she's she's great.
And, uh, my kids are doing great.
I mean, they love me and they accept me for who I am.
You got the kids invited you to the birthday party Saturday? - They did.
- You coming? - I am coming.
- Oh, my my thing I do at the LGBT call center is wonderful.
I'm just getting started, but I'm excited to learn about that whole world.
I've got everything I need.
So why am I so unhappy? - Does anyone want the sprinkles? - No, you take it.
- How about we split it? - You want the sprinkles? No, no.
Do you want Yeah, I want the sprinkles.
Why are you spitting? 'Cause I'm vegan.
Can I just say that I have really enjoyed sharing the transbrella with all of you.
I'm not trans.
- You're not? - No.
- Baxter's intersex.
- Ohh.
I was born with, quote-unquote, ambiguous genitalia.
- Oh.
- And I'm one of those.
- Oh, yes.
- You've heard me Seen me on "Oprah.
" - Mm-hm.
- Not me but, like, my people.
I have seen one of you on "Oprah.
" The book that I read was from 2014, and it had it had a graphic - (PHONE RINGS) - Ooh, that's me.
It's my turn.
- Okay.
- No.
- I thought it was - It's her turn.
- Oh, yeah, it's my turn.
- I thought it was MOBS.
Maura goes first.
What's MOBS? Maura, Omar, Baxter.
No, I think I'm next, though.
I think I'm before you.
No.
I'm gonna take this call.
- It's me.
- No.
- I think it's me.
- I think LA Call Line.
I'm here to help.
- I think he likes hearing sad things.
- (CHUCKLES) OMAR: Oh, man.
It was just a hang up.
- Oh, that's all I get.
- That's all I've ever had is crank call, - wrong call.
- Most of us just get crank calls.
- That's you now.
- Go ahead, Maura.
- C'est moi.
(PHONE RINGING) LA Call Line, I'm here to help you.
How can I help? WOMAN: (INDISTINCT) I'm sorry, can you speak up? I can I can hardly hear you.
WOMAN: I said today was really fuckin' hard.
And I know there's gonna be, like, hard days and stuff, but today was really fuckin' hard.
I got up at 5 a.
m.
, and I took the bus all the way across town to go to the stupid fuckin' clinic, and I waited for five hours all for the doctor to say I'm not old enough, and I'm not in the system, and I need my fuckin' foster parents who won't do shit but take the check they get every single month.
Mm-hm.
I just feel like I'm drowning, like, I just don't want to do this anymore.
So, you know, you're asking me how you're gonna help me, like, why don't you just tell me why I shouldn't just kill myself.
Um No, you said you were gonna help me, so what am I supposed to do now? Um sounds very difficult.
Difficult.
That's a good fuckin' word for it.
- Have you been drinking? - What? Just scratch that.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Um, have you felt this way before? Where the fuck are you getting these questions from, man, seriously? Well, I'm not a man, actually, I'm I'm I'm trans.
Oh.
Well, shit.
I'm trans, too.
Hey, uh, what's your name? Elizah.
My name is Maura.
Where are you right now? At St.
Christopher's, the clinic.
St.
Christopher's? - Yes.
- Hold on one second.
Um, can I ask you, are you, um Do you have, um Is your mom around? Look, my mom doesn't give a shit about me, all right? (SCOFFS) Mom.
You wouldn't get it, okay? You wouldn't get it.
I would get it, actually.
Um, I I wasn't raised by my mom.
(STAMMERS) My mom was never around.
Mm-mm.
Both my sister and me were We were raised by We were raised by my grandparents.
My mom didn't care.
I bet it was nothin' like what I got.
This is my fourth foster family.
I bet you don't even fuckin' understand what it's like.
Have you ever been to South L.
A.
? Probably not, so you wouldn't even fuckin' get it, so this conversation is pointless, so I'm just gonna fucking go now - and I don't want to fuckin' talk to you anymore.
All right, all right, - hold on, hold on, hold.
- You don't understand.
- Hey, Elizah, hold on.
- It's just too much.
Hold on, hold on.
Just hold on for a second.
Can you do me a favor? Can you breathe? No, hell, no, fuck this shit.
- What are you, a fuckin' therapist? No.
- No, no, no.
- Just walk to a safe place.
- Fuck this.
- Wherever you are just - Where the fuck am I supposed to go? I'm at a fuckin' clinic.
Find somewhere there's space, where you're alone.
Just Please? Are you walking? - Yes.
- Yeah? You there? I want you to breathe with me, okay? I'm doing it with you.
All right, just breathe in through your nostrils (INHALING) And and now breathe out through your mouth.
Let's breathe in through our nostrils.
Ready? (EXHALING) And breathe out through your mouth, okay? (SNIFFLING) (SNIFFLING) Oh, sweetie, okay, okay.
- (SOBBING) - I'm here.
- (SOBBING) - All right.
(SOBBING) I'm here.
(SOBBING) (SOBBING) I can't, I have to go.
(SNIFFLING) Elizah? Elizah? Uh, TV dinners.
Probably those Lean Cuisines, but, you know, you need like three of them for them to fill you up.
- Oh.
- I don't eat that shit.
I just had a call that just went way wrong.
I mean, way wrong.
I think I really screwed up.
- It's okay, boo.
- What happened? I have to go.
OMAR: I mean, all you can do is your best.
I mean, we can't save everyone, we're not therapists or case managers.
You're just here to provide support and RAQUEL: To keep yourself warm, you re-tell your story of escape.
You repeat it to yourself over and over again.
I got out.
Now you look over your shoulder.
Is someone coming after me? Or is someone coming to save me? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOMAN: Thank you.
Sign at the bottom.
MAN: I take it Darryl's been absent.
I don't know much about him.
WOMAN: (SIGHS) Yeah, well, uh I haven't really been talking with him.
Do you have your I.
D.
? MAN: He's got how many strikes now? WOMAN: Honestly, like, strike 67.
MAN: Yeah.
- Excuse me.
Um - WOMAN: Which is good, though.
Hi.
Just sign your name at the bottom.
Oh, I'm not a patient.
Um, this person here, number eight, Elizah P.
Uh, I'm looking You're actually not supposed to be looking at that.
It's confidential information.
Then why do you have it out? It's for people to sign, not to read.
I'm looking for a friend and I think that's her.
Are you planning to meet here? Oh, no, but, uh but she's, uh She's a friend and, uh, I I'm very worried about her.
I was wondering if, uh, could you tell me anything about her? - Just anything.
- I can't give any information out.
- I'm sorry.
- It's really important.
You said you were looking for Elizah? I am.
Do you know Elizah? Are you, like, from child services or something? No, no, I've never met her before, but she's in a lot of trouble.
Do you know anything about her? Um, she has bright green hair.
Okay.
Do you happen to know where she is? Yeah.
She said she was headed to the Slauson Swap Meet.
- The Slauson Swap Meet? - The Slauson Swap Meet.
I have no idea what that is.
What is that? It's a big mall, it's about two blocks that way.
- Two blocks.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
MAN: Soul.
Get your soul.
Get some poetry in your life.
Get the culture.
Want the soul? Get poetry in your life.
You need some culture.
Slauson soul.
You don't have a soul without the soul.
Soul.
Get your soul.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Damn, I wanted some curl.
That's so wrong.
(LAUGHTER) Excuse me.
Can I ask you a question? Um esta familia.
(SPEAKS SPANISH) Yo estoy, uh, familia trans, tambien.
- (SPEAKS SPANISH) - I'm Maura.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Reyna.
- Mucho gusto.
- Adriana.
Nice to meet you.
I'm looking for, uh, this young girl who's in, I think, a lot of trouble.
Her name is Elizah.
- Elizah.
- And I'm very worried.
She's also a trans, and, uh What does she look like? - Well, she has green hair - Uh-huh.
Maybe you've seen her on the streets, Elizah.
- Que, qué? - Uh What streets? - You know, uh, well - La calla dijo.
- No, no, no, not, not - (SPEAKING SPANISH) - I was just saying, no - (SPEAKING SPANISH) In general, the streets, not, not I mean Yeah, I'm a student.
These two are getting their nursing licenses.
- Exactly.
- What street? I'm I'm sorry.
Um, I've offended you and I'm sorry.
- Con permiso.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Bye.
- Good luck.
How rude.
- Pobrecita.
- The streets.
Like, really? - (SPEAKS SPANISH) - (LAUGHING) (CHATTER) Oh! Fuck a fucking duck.
- So - So that sounds it's a trick thing.
I play a mind trick on your brain.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I need to I need to Damn, what happened to your shoe? I, uh, I broke my shoe.
I need to see I broke my shoe.
Um, do you have this in, like, a 12 and a half D? The biggest size we have is 11.
- Okay.
- So Um, do you have some duct tape? Maybe I could do I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Definitely don't have no duct tape, um, but we may have some Scotch tape.
Um, is there some Crazy Glue? 'Cause that might work.
That's not gonna work.
I got you Last thing you want to do, you do not want Crazy Glue.
Once that Crazy Glue opens up, it's gonna get on your finger, and your finger gonna get stuck together like this.
Then you're walkin' around saying A-OK all damn day.
But everything's not okay.
People think it's cool.
It's not cool.
Go get the Scotch tape, dog.
Help me out.
Thank you.
Hold on one second, we'll figure it out.
- This - I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now.
This ain't gonna work.
Hey, will you stop talkin'? If you don't use your teeth, it's not gonna come off.
I'm not gonna use my teeth, I got the lesbian manicure over here.
- You're not helpin' me, dude.
- How am I How am I - Okay, there you go.
There you go.
- There it is.
- Work, dog.
- Thank you, thank you.
- You got it.
- Look at it.
- Ahh.
- Boom.
Bam.
- Look at that, look at that.
- You guys are great.
- Thank you so much.
- Okay.
- Got you, man.
All right.
- Thank you.
You have a good day.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOMAN: Hi.
How can I help you? MAN: Yeah, we'll have red beans and rice.
- Homemade fries.
- WOMAN: Homemade fries.
All right.
- MAN: And a small Coke.
- WOMAN: And a small Coke.
Okay, great.
That'll be $7.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) - MAN: Okay.
- WOMAN: I'll give you your number.
- MAN: All right, right on.
Thank you.
- WOMAN: All right, great.
Hi.
How can I help you? Chicken tenders meal, uh-huh.
Biscuit and a small drink.
What kind of drink you want? Pepsi, okay.
You'll be number two.
Let's get a name so I'll call your number.
Okay? All right.
(SIGHS) And that'll just be $2.
- (SIGHS) Oh.
- Okay.
Hi.
How can I help you? You want a pudding? All right.
They're making Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Um, you know what? I think I forgot I don't have my purse.
I don't have my purse.
I don't have my purse.
Forgive me, I was just, uh I needed to replenish my electrolytes and But I think I know where it is.
I think I left it at the, uh I left it at the clinic.
I'll just go and get it and, uh And I'll just retrieve it and I'll I'll pay you your money.
That's no problem.
Yeah, just leave the drink, and I'll just hold it for you.
That's not a big deal at all.
When I come back, of course, I will I'll give you a healthy tip.
Yeah, but listen, you don't gotta give me no tip.
It's totally fine, it's just that when I close out I have to zero out my goods in with my cash out, - and if it doesn't match up - Elizah! - Elizah! - Excuse me! - Elizah! - So now you just gonna walk away? - What the hell? - Hi.
It's me.
It's me! It's Maura.
Don't You're fine, it's fine.
It's me, it's Maura.
Don't be scared.
It's me from from the phone.
You remember me? I thought those calls were anonymous.
They are anonymous, but I I was really worried about you.
Okay? You all right? - You steal that Gatorade? - What? - Say yes.
- Did you steal that Gatorade? No, I didn't steal any Gatorade.
You know you stole it.
And you drank it.
I didn't steal anything.
I told you very clearly, ma'am, that I told you that I lost my purse and I was Okay, so I'm gonna get you your money, I told you that.
I don't care about the money, it's about the principle.
You walk up in my store and you take shit because you think it's yours.
- No.
No! You know what - Come here.
- Can you loan me $2? - Call the police on him.
- I didn't have a purse.
- You need to come with me and exit the premises.
Wait a minute, hold on, I'm not a criminal.
You don't have to - You are a criminal because you stole that Gatorade.
- I have to talk to my friend.
- Do you need me to call the police on this man? - Hold on, hold on.
- Just hold on.
- Is he bothering you? Hey, it's not he.
Does she look like a he to you? The fumes coming from this manicure establishment, they they're strong.
They're too strong for an indoor environment.
So this is clearly environmentally wrong.
- Call the police on him.
- Oh, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
You all right? WOMAN: Did you call 9-1-1? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) MAN: Gurney comin' through.
Whenever you're ready.
Okay? - Here we go.
- Take it easy.
- Go slow.
- On three, okay? (WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH) Gurney comin' through.
What's wrong with me? EMT 1: Just relax now, ma'am.
MAURA: What are we doing? EMT 1: I think we're looking at a 51-50.
EMT 2: Seems that way.
County's asked us to stop bringing in 51-50s.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you taking me? EMT 1: We have to take you to the closest hospital, that's county.
Oh, no, no.
No, you can't take me to county.
- EMT 1: Ma'am, just relax now.
- No, no, please.
You have to take me to Cedars-Sinai.
- EMT 1: It'll be just fine.
- No, I'm Jewish.
- Please take me to Cedars.
- EMT 1: It doesn't matter.
All right? EMT 1: It'll be fine.
We have good doctors there.
I My name is Pfefferman.
You understand? - Pfefferman.
- EMT 1: You'll be fine.
RAQUEL: You're waiting for a miracle.
You're waiting for the sea to part.
Well, that's an old miracle.
So what about this.
What if the miracle was you? What if you had to be your own Messiah? Then what? (LAUGHTER)
Two words emblazoned on your chest.
It's time.
You're gonna make a break for freedom.
You will not be a slave anymore.
You get out of bed, you grab your things, you run outside, and then there you are.
Free.
First light of day.
Behind you is your past.
Everything you came from.
Everything that you thought you knew.
You start running.
As you run, you listen for the voice of the divine.
But you hear nothing.
So you stop.
You listen closer.
What what is that? Is it nothing? No.
It is stillness.
(WATER TRICKLING) (SNIFFING) (DEEP BREATH) (DOOR OPENS) Oh, there's my purse.
How you doin' this morning? I'm good.
I just said Au revoir to your love.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
That's a pretty shawl.
Yeah.
It's pashmina.
Blue.
You like? It's a nice color.
- Yeah? - Looks good on you.
- Really? - Uh-huh.
(SIGHS) You okay? Yeah.
I'm all right.
Yeah.
Everything's great.
Vicki loves me.
And she's she's great.
And, uh, my kids are doing great.
I mean, they love me and they accept me for who I am.
You got the kids invited you to the birthday party Saturday? - They did.
- You coming? - I am coming.
- Oh, my my thing I do at the LGBT call center is wonderful.
I'm just getting started, but I'm excited to learn about that whole world.
I've got everything I need.
So why am I so unhappy? - Does anyone want the sprinkles? - No, you take it.
- How about we split it? - You want the sprinkles? No, no.
Do you want Yeah, I want the sprinkles.
Why are you spitting? 'Cause I'm vegan.
Can I just say that I have really enjoyed sharing the transbrella with all of you.
I'm not trans.
- You're not? - No.
- Baxter's intersex.
- Ohh.
I was born with, quote-unquote, ambiguous genitalia.
- Oh.
- And I'm one of those.
- Oh, yes.
- You've heard me Seen me on "Oprah.
" - Mm-hm.
- Not me but, like, my people.
I have seen one of you on "Oprah.
" The book that I read was from 2014, and it had it had a graphic - (PHONE RINGS) - Ooh, that's me.
It's my turn.
- Okay.
- No.
- I thought it was - It's her turn.
- Oh, yeah, it's my turn.
- I thought it was MOBS.
Maura goes first.
What's MOBS? Maura, Omar, Baxter.
No, I think I'm next, though.
I think I'm before you.
No.
I'm gonna take this call.
- It's me.
- No.
- I think it's me.
- I think LA Call Line.
I'm here to help.
- I think he likes hearing sad things.
- (CHUCKLES) OMAR: Oh, man.
It was just a hang up.
- Oh, that's all I get.
- That's all I've ever had is crank call, - wrong call.
- Most of us just get crank calls.
- That's you now.
- Go ahead, Maura.
- C'est moi.
(PHONE RINGING) LA Call Line, I'm here to help you.
How can I help? WOMAN: (INDISTINCT) I'm sorry, can you speak up? I can I can hardly hear you.
WOMAN: I said today was really fuckin' hard.
And I know there's gonna be, like, hard days and stuff, but today was really fuckin' hard.
I got up at 5 a.
m.
, and I took the bus all the way across town to go to the stupid fuckin' clinic, and I waited for five hours all for the doctor to say I'm not old enough, and I'm not in the system, and I need my fuckin' foster parents who won't do shit but take the check they get every single month.
Mm-hm.
I just feel like I'm drowning, like, I just don't want to do this anymore.
So, you know, you're asking me how you're gonna help me, like, why don't you just tell me why I shouldn't just kill myself.
Um No, you said you were gonna help me, so what am I supposed to do now? Um sounds very difficult.
Difficult.
That's a good fuckin' word for it.
- Have you been drinking? - What? Just scratch that.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Um, have you felt this way before? Where the fuck are you getting these questions from, man, seriously? Well, I'm not a man, actually, I'm I'm I'm trans.
Oh.
Well, shit.
I'm trans, too.
Hey, uh, what's your name? Elizah.
My name is Maura.
Where are you right now? At St.
Christopher's, the clinic.
St.
Christopher's? - Yes.
- Hold on one second.
Um, can I ask you, are you, um Do you have, um Is your mom around? Look, my mom doesn't give a shit about me, all right? (SCOFFS) Mom.
You wouldn't get it, okay? You wouldn't get it.
I would get it, actually.
Um, I I wasn't raised by my mom.
(STAMMERS) My mom was never around.
Mm-mm.
Both my sister and me were We were raised by We were raised by my grandparents.
My mom didn't care.
I bet it was nothin' like what I got.
This is my fourth foster family.
I bet you don't even fuckin' understand what it's like.
Have you ever been to South L.
A.
? Probably not, so you wouldn't even fuckin' get it, so this conversation is pointless, so I'm just gonna fucking go now - and I don't want to fuckin' talk to you anymore.
All right, all right, - hold on, hold on, hold.
- You don't understand.
- Hey, Elizah, hold on.
- It's just too much.
Hold on, hold on.
Just hold on for a second.
Can you do me a favor? Can you breathe? No, hell, no, fuck this shit.
- What are you, a fuckin' therapist? No.
- No, no, no.
- Just walk to a safe place.
- Fuck this.
- Wherever you are just - Where the fuck am I supposed to go? I'm at a fuckin' clinic.
Find somewhere there's space, where you're alone.
Just Please? Are you walking? - Yes.
- Yeah? You there? I want you to breathe with me, okay? I'm doing it with you.
All right, just breathe in through your nostrils (INHALING) And and now breathe out through your mouth.
Let's breathe in through our nostrils.
Ready? (EXHALING) And breathe out through your mouth, okay? (SNIFFLING) (SNIFFLING) Oh, sweetie, okay, okay.
- (SOBBING) - I'm here.
- (SOBBING) - All right.
(SOBBING) I'm here.
(SOBBING) (SOBBING) I can't, I have to go.
(SNIFFLING) Elizah? Elizah? Uh, TV dinners.
Probably those Lean Cuisines, but, you know, you need like three of them for them to fill you up.
- Oh.
- I don't eat that shit.
I just had a call that just went way wrong.
I mean, way wrong.
I think I really screwed up.
- It's okay, boo.
- What happened? I have to go.
OMAR: I mean, all you can do is your best.
I mean, we can't save everyone, we're not therapists or case managers.
You're just here to provide support and RAQUEL: To keep yourself warm, you re-tell your story of escape.
You repeat it to yourself over and over again.
I got out.
Now you look over your shoulder.
Is someone coming after me? Or is someone coming to save me? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOMAN: Thank you.
Sign at the bottom.
MAN: I take it Darryl's been absent.
I don't know much about him.
WOMAN: (SIGHS) Yeah, well, uh I haven't really been talking with him.
Do you have your I.
D.
? MAN: He's got how many strikes now? WOMAN: Honestly, like, strike 67.
MAN: Yeah.
- Excuse me.
Um - WOMAN: Which is good, though.
Hi.
Just sign your name at the bottom.
Oh, I'm not a patient.
Um, this person here, number eight, Elizah P.
Uh, I'm looking You're actually not supposed to be looking at that.
It's confidential information.
Then why do you have it out? It's for people to sign, not to read.
I'm looking for a friend and I think that's her.
Are you planning to meet here? Oh, no, but, uh but she's, uh She's a friend and, uh, I I'm very worried about her.
I was wondering if, uh, could you tell me anything about her? - Just anything.
- I can't give any information out.
- I'm sorry.
- It's really important.
You said you were looking for Elizah? I am.
Do you know Elizah? Are you, like, from child services or something? No, no, I've never met her before, but she's in a lot of trouble.
Do you know anything about her? Um, she has bright green hair.
Okay.
Do you happen to know where she is? Yeah.
She said she was headed to the Slauson Swap Meet.
- The Slauson Swap Meet? - The Slauson Swap Meet.
I have no idea what that is.
What is that? It's a big mall, it's about two blocks that way.
- Two blocks.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
MAN: Soul.
Get your soul.
Get some poetry in your life.
Get the culture.
Want the soul? Get poetry in your life.
You need some culture.
Slauson soul.
You don't have a soul without the soul.
Soul.
Get your soul.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Damn, I wanted some curl.
That's so wrong.
(LAUGHTER) Excuse me.
Can I ask you a question? Um esta familia.
(SPEAKS SPANISH) Yo estoy, uh, familia trans, tambien.
- (SPEAKS SPANISH) - I'm Maura.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Reyna.
- Mucho gusto.
- Adriana.
Nice to meet you.
I'm looking for, uh, this young girl who's in, I think, a lot of trouble.
Her name is Elizah.
- Elizah.
- And I'm very worried.
She's also a trans, and, uh What does she look like? - Well, she has green hair - Uh-huh.
Maybe you've seen her on the streets, Elizah.
- Que, qué? - Uh What streets? - You know, uh, well - La calla dijo.
- No, no, no, not, not - (SPEAKING SPANISH) - I was just saying, no - (SPEAKING SPANISH) In general, the streets, not, not I mean Yeah, I'm a student.
These two are getting their nursing licenses.
- Exactly.
- What street? I'm I'm sorry.
Um, I've offended you and I'm sorry.
- Con permiso.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Bye.
- Good luck.
How rude.
- Pobrecita.
- The streets.
Like, really? - (SPEAKS SPANISH) - (LAUGHING) (CHATTER) Oh! Fuck a fucking duck.
- So - So that sounds it's a trick thing.
I play a mind trick on your brain.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I need to I need to Damn, what happened to your shoe? I, uh, I broke my shoe.
I need to see I broke my shoe.
Um, do you have this in, like, a 12 and a half D? The biggest size we have is 11.
- Okay.
- So Um, do you have some duct tape? Maybe I could do I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Definitely don't have no duct tape, um, but we may have some Scotch tape.
Um, is there some Crazy Glue? 'Cause that might work.
That's not gonna work.
I got you Last thing you want to do, you do not want Crazy Glue.
Once that Crazy Glue opens up, it's gonna get on your finger, and your finger gonna get stuck together like this.
Then you're walkin' around saying A-OK all damn day.
But everything's not okay.
People think it's cool.
It's not cool.
Go get the Scotch tape, dog.
Help me out.
Thank you.
Hold on one second, we'll figure it out.
- This - I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now.
This ain't gonna work.
Hey, will you stop talkin'? If you don't use your teeth, it's not gonna come off.
I'm not gonna use my teeth, I got the lesbian manicure over here.
- You're not helpin' me, dude.
- How am I How am I - Okay, there you go.
There you go.
- There it is.
- Work, dog.
- Thank you, thank you.
- You got it.
- Look at it.
- Ahh.
- Boom.
Bam.
- Look at that, look at that.
- You guys are great.
- Thank you so much.
- Okay.
- Got you, man.
All right.
- Thank you.
You have a good day.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOMAN: Hi.
How can I help you? MAN: Yeah, we'll have red beans and rice.
- Homemade fries.
- WOMAN: Homemade fries.
All right.
- MAN: And a small Coke.
- WOMAN: And a small Coke.
Okay, great.
That'll be $7.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) - MAN: Okay.
- WOMAN: I'll give you your number.
- MAN: All right, right on.
Thank you.
- WOMAN: All right, great.
Hi.
How can I help you? Chicken tenders meal, uh-huh.
Biscuit and a small drink.
What kind of drink you want? Pepsi, okay.
You'll be number two.
Let's get a name so I'll call your number.
Okay? All right.
(SIGHS) And that'll just be $2.
- (SIGHS) Oh.
- Okay.
Hi.
How can I help you? You want a pudding? All right.
They're making Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Um, you know what? I think I forgot I don't have my purse.
I don't have my purse.
I don't have my purse.
Forgive me, I was just, uh I needed to replenish my electrolytes and But I think I know where it is.
I think I left it at the, uh I left it at the clinic.
I'll just go and get it and, uh And I'll just retrieve it and I'll I'll pay you your money.
That's no problem.
Yeah, just leave the drink, and I'll just hold it for you.
That's not a big deal at all.
When I come back, of course, I will I'll give you a healthy tip.
Yeah, but listen, you don't gotta give me no tip.
It's totally fine, it's just that when I close out I have to zero out my goods in with my cash out, - and if it doesn't match up - Elizah! - Elizah! - Excuse me! - Elizah! - So now you just gonna walk away? - What the hell? - Hi.
It's me.
It's me! It's Maura.
Don't You're fine, it's fine.
It's me, it's Maura.
Don't be scared.
It's me from from the phone.
You remember me? I thought those calls were anonymous.
They are anonymous, but I I was really worried about you.
Okay? You all right? - You steal that Gatorade? - What? - Say yes.
- Did you steal that Gatorade? No, I didn't steal any Gatorade.
You know you stole it.
And you drank it.
I didn't steal anything.
I told you very clearly, ma'am, that I told you that I lost my purse and I was Okay, so I'm gonna get you your money, I told you that.
I don't care about the money, it's about the principle.
You walk up in my store and you take shit because you think it's yours.
- No.
No! You know what - Come here.
- Can you loan me $2? - Call the police on him.
- I didn't have a purse.
- You need to come with me and exit the premises.
Wait a minute, hold on, I'm not a criminal.
You don't have to - You are a criminal because you stole that Gatorade.
- I have to talk to my friend.
- Do you need me to call the police on this man? - Hold on, hold on.
- Just hold on.
- Is he bothering you? Hey, it's not he.
Does she look like a he to you? The fumes coming from this manicure establishment, they they're strong.
They're too strong for an indoor environment.
So this is clearly environmentally wrong.
- Call the police on him.
- Oh, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
You all right? WOMAN: Did you call 9-1-1? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) MAN: Gurney comin' through.
Whenever you're ready.
Okay? - Here we go.
- Take it easy.
- Go slow.
- On three, okay? (WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH) Gurney comin' through.
What's wrong with me? EMT 1: Just relax now, ma'am.
MAURA: What are we doing? EMT 1: I think we're looking at a 51-50.
EMT 2: Seems that way.
County's asked us to stop bringing in 51-50s.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you taking me? EMT 1: We have to take you to the closest hospital, that's county.
Oh, no, no.
No, you can't take me to county.
- EMT 1: Ma'am, just relax now.
- No, no, please.
You have to take me to Cedars-Sinai.
- EMT 1: It'll be just fine.
- No, I'm Jewish.
- Please take me to Cedars.
- EMT 1: It doesn't matter.
All right? EMT 1: It'll be fine.
We have good doctors there.
I My name is Pfefferman.
You understand? - Pfefferman.
- EMT 1: You'll be fine.
RAQUEL: You're waiting for a miracle.
You're waiting for the sea to part.
Well, that's an old miracle.
So what about this.
What if the miracle was you? What if you had to be your own Messiah? Then what? (LAUGHTER)