Ultimate Spider-Man (2011) s03e01 Episode Script
The Return of the Guardians of the Galaxy
3x01 - Return of the Guardians of the Galaxy And who's that in first place? Why, it's the dude called Nova! Look alive, buckethead! [engine revs.]
What kind of race is this, Nova? You're not even trying.
[laughs.]
Can't hear you back there! Boom! Alright, Nova.
If that's the way you want it.
[laughs.]
Hey, spider dork, that is totally cheating! Ah, what's the point anyway? Uh, we're racing? I was kicking your butt? - It was good times? - Talking big picture.
I've traveled the stars and fought with cosmic heroes.
Sometimes I feel like there should be way more to my life.
Dude, what more do you want? You can fly like a rocket and blast lasers out of your [crash.]
[glass windshield squeaks.]
[grunts.]
Oooowww! Uh, there's a bug on the windshield! [Spider-Man.]
Whoa! [grunts.]
Ahh! Unh! [Spider-Man.]
Who leaves a space ship double-parked over Manhattan? [grunting.]
I know what this is.
Come on! [grunts.]
[grunts.]
[roars.]
You need to keep this bucket from crashing, Rocket! [both grunting, groaning.]
Aah! The Guardians of the Galaxy! What are you doing here on Earth? [banging.]
[both.]
Whoa! - Crashing! - [grunts.]
Can I help? Hope so, sparky, because wait.
I-is that what you're about to crash into? [humming.]
That's my house! And that's my Aunt May! [grunts.]
Uh, we don't want to crash there, or anywhere else! The Omnium generator is down! I need an extra pair of hands over here! - I-I-I am Groot! - [grunts.]
Go help them! Ahh! You got it, Rocky! [grunts.]
Spidey! Keep these in place while I get the generator back online! Or I can do this.
That'll work.
I hope.
[Rocket Raccoon.]
Ungh, hurry! [humming.]
Mmh! Whoo [humming.]
[Spider-Man.]
Here goes nothing! [grunt.]
[screaming.]
Whoa! [singing.]
Huh? [faint music on earbuds.]
[Rocket Raccoon.]
Cloaking device back online.
Hmm.
[singing.]
[tired sigh.]
[raccoon chattering.]
I am Groot.
[sighs.]
You and me both, pal.
Whew.
At least my house-slash-Aunt is no worse for wear.
Which is more than we can say about this ship.
[Nova.]
Star-Lord, how did this happen? We took major battle damage on our way here.
We almost crashed on Jupiter.
Drax and Gamora got the brunt of it.
Their conditions are finally stabilizing.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Just give it some time.
There ain't no one tougher than Drax and Gamora.
What did this to you? Vicious intergalactic terrorist, what calls himself Titus.
[Nova.]
I've heard of him.
Everyone in the Nova Corps knows about Titus.
He used to be a member of the Nova Corps.
'Til he betrayed them.
And I'm all that's left.
He just found out you were here on Earth and we intercepted.
He's coming for you, Sam.
[Spider-Man.]
Him? What does "cuddles" want from him? Hey, clearly someone in this galaxy sees me for the awesomeness that I so clearly am! Or he's a guy who likes to go a long way just to be annoyed.
[tin can sound.]
He wants this.
He's coming all the way here for bucket head's bucket? It's a Nova Corps helmet.
There's a lot more going on in there than even I know.
And I know a lot.
I gotta say, I'm excited that this one is about me.
Calm down! It's not about you.
It's about your bucket.
So let's go get him.
Can't.
The ship's Omnium generator is on its last legs.
I got this.
I'll call up Tony Stark or Nick Fury.
- Shield'll have what you need.
- I can't let you do that, Spider-Man.
But they can help.
They have all the toys.
We're supposed to protect Earth.
Not interact with it.
It doesn't go well when less, well, evolved planets try to play with things they don't understand.
[sighs.]
Okay.
You need a part, but we have to keep it on the down low.
What do we do? I'll be right back.
Groot, you're with me.
But, uh, I actually live there.
I am Groot.
No talking.
Trees don't talk on Earth.
Got it.
I told you to stay on the ship.
Oh.
I must have been absent the day you were made the boss of me.
So, what'd you find? I found the only Omnium on the planet.
It's right here.
That's the S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
tri-carrier.
I told you Fury would have the stuff.
Perfect.
Quill stays here to fix things.
We fetch the Omnium.
It's not exactly a place you can just "sneak on board.
" It's like the most fortified, secure place on the planet.
Oh, the most secure place on Planet Earth.
You don't say.
We get in, grab it, and get out.
What about the giant tree alien you left on my lawn? [Rocket Raccoon.]
Groot is there to protect your house in case we were followed.
[Aunt May.]
Was that tree always there? Phoof! I've been in the sun too long today.
[sniffing.]
I.
Am.
Groot.
[whimpers.]
Top of the morning! How's it going? - Aw! - Just act natural.
Why would I do that? I don't do that normally.
- [Rocket.]
Aah! - He really doesn't.
There! Ugh! It's locked.
You know, because this is the most fortified place in the world.
No! Turn around.
[grunts.]
[beeping.]
I don't know what you think you're going to be able to - Oh.
- [Nova.]
Whoa, what is this place? Armory.
It's where Nick Fury keeps all the cool stuff.
Omnium generator.
Close by.
You call this secure? I've seen Chitauri flower gardens with more defenses.
There! One Omnium generator.
What is Nick Fury doing with something like that? Probably found it and doesn't even know what it is.
Let's go.
Well, that was easy.
What exactly are you doing here? I can explain this, actually.
[explosion.]
[screaming.]
[growling.]
All hands! This is Nick Fury! We are under attack! [growling.]
Chitauri! Must've found out what I did to their flower garden! [growls.]
Alpha team, move in! Beta team, take the outside perimeter and shut the hole in our hull! And you kids better have a good explana - [Nova.]
We're running away!? - Titus knew how to find you! We have to get this fight away from normal human people.
We have to get back to our ship.
[Spider-Man.]
Lemme guess.
Titus.
Now, that is a big ship.
Give me the Nova helmet, or this planet will burn! Not on my watch, and not on my planet.
[explosion.]
[screaming.]
Yikes! Whatever happened to "take me to your leader?" [Nova.]
Titus! That Nova helmet has power beyond imagination.
You use a mere fraction of its might.
Only I can unleash its destructive potential.
Now hand it over or this one will cease to be.
Nobody touches the helmet! Okay.
Let's stay calm.
Not do anything silly.
[deep growling.]
Yah! [growling.]
Silly like that! [roars, grunts.]
Kid, we have to take this off planet.
[grunting.]
[yelling.]
Webs! Let's go! [roaring.]
After them! [grunting.]
[fiendish roaring.]
Ee-yah! Whoa! [Spider-Man.]
I want a rocket pack, too! Oh, come on!! Iron Man is much cooler than Thor.
It's not even close.
[rumbling, whirring.]
Huh? [Star-Lord.]
What? Huh? Whoa! [growling.]
- Groot! - Whoa! Hi, I am Groot.
Aah! - Nice job sneaking in and sneaking out.
- You're being sarcastic, right? [growling.]
I am Groot! Literally nothing could make this cooler.
Whoa! Hey, mac! [roaring.]
How much for a leisurely ride around Central Park? [Rocket.]
C'mon, creeps! Let's play ring around the ringtail! Yah! Duh.
[groans.]
And the mighty Drax is back! Does that mean that ? Whoa! [Gamora screams.]
Oh, yes it does! Gamora is in the fight.
[roaring.]
[Gamora grunts.]
[growling.]
I see you're feeling better.
Are we on Earth? You know how I feel about Earth! At least it's not Jupiter.
[shrieking.]
[grunting.]
Yah! Did you get the Omnium? Of course! Web-head, come on! Back me up.
[Spider-Man.]
Where are we going? Throw me the backpack, and watch the airlock.
We would've been better off crashing on Jupiter.
- Hurry up.
- It's a delicate operation, sparky.
One false move and I blow us all up.
Blow up? You never said anything about blowing up! [grunts.]
My arms aren't long enough.
You have to do it.
You want me to do it? What about the whole blowing up thing? Don't do that part.
[Chitauri.]
Gah! [grunting.]
Yah! Whoa! - Care-ful - Would you mind?! [whimpering.]
[roaring.]
[both sigh.]
[Chitauri growling.]
[Groot roaring.]
[Star-Lord.]
Well done everyone.
Here comes Titus.
[kid.]
Mom! [Titus.]
I want the Nova helmet.
[Chitauri.]
Yes, Commander Titus! And I want those Guardians to suffer for wasting my time! [Star-Lord.]
Drax, Gamora, Groot.
Battle stations.
Rocket, you're on systems.
Nova, copilot.
Um, Star-Lord, what about me? - What should I do? - Sit quietly, and watch the magic.
Guys, we need to launch.
Now! They've got weapons locked! [grunt.]
You know, I don't know if I said this before, but that is a really big ship.
[Titus.]
If they won't give me the Nova helmet, then I'll salvage it from the burning remains of their ship! Attack! Ah! C'mon, Star-Lord.
A little warning next time? If there is a next time! Star-Lord, if you're gonna do something, do it now! I need more thruster power! [grunts.]
- What are you doing? - He can't hit what he can't hit! [Gamora groaning.]
[grunts.]
[Rocket Raccoon.]
Hailing unidentified warship.
This is the Guardians of the Galaxy.
We accept your surrender, you giant pile of garbage.
I will end you! Ah! [all grunting.]
[roaring.]
Oh, look.
Uninvited guests.
I am Groot! Ahh! [screams.]
I've got them.
You! Grab the controls! Me? Fly the ship? [sigh.]
I can do this.
Blow them out of the sky! [Drax growls.]
[Spider-Man.]
Heads up, JJJ! If we get out of this alive, that was awesome! [chittering.]
Hey! Get out of my chair! I'll take it from here on.
Man! I was just getting the hang of it! [groaning.]
I am Groot.
[groaning.]
Did you see me flying the ship! Did ya? What did Titus mean? He said I was only using a fraction of what it's capable of.
Makes sense.
You only use a fraction of your brain.
I don't know, Nova.
Maybe there's more to you than you think.
Titus used to be one of you.
No one knows the secrets of the Nova other than the Nova.
Whatever is in that helmet must be worth all of this.
Turn the ship around.
I know what I have to do.
- We have a locked target.
- Then blast them.
I will take the helmet off this earthling's What is that? [beeping alarm.]
Raise the shields! Shields! You want my helmet? Yah! Here's my helmet! [screaming.]
[yelling.]
[cry of fear.]
Whoa! Nova just swiss-cheesed Titus' ship.
[grunts.]
I should have thanked you, Titus.
Sometimes I forget what I'm capable of.
What I was destined to be.
And just so that we're both perfectly clear? You will never take this helmet from me.
[roaring.]
[triumphant yelling.]
Nova We gotta save Nova, before he shows up right in front of us all glowy and alive? - Sam! You you look - I look awesome! I told you that helmet had untapped secrets of the Nova Corps.
I'm the Ultimate Nova! [growling.]
Oh! [growling.]
Still full of fight, huh? We can fix that.
[fierce growling.]
Can I get a good deal on a hand cannon? Because I looked online and prices were So, how are you liking Earth? [growls, stops.]
- H-hey, I didn't get a shot! - Sorry about that.
Yeah [mumbling.]
Okay, you Guardians need to take him and get him out of here before uh - We are so dead.
- A-hem.
[Gamora.]
Well if it isn't Nicholas Joseph Fury.
- Joseph? - Gamora.
You promised you'd never set foot on Earth again.
I lied.
Chitauri are on the run.
Let 'em go? Or should we finish 'em off? [Groot chuckles.]
Well done, Ultimate Spider-Man.
Ultimate Nova.
[grunts.]
I am Groot! Groot's right.
This planet smells funny.
Guardians of the Galaxy, let's get outta here.
The next time aliens invade Earth, - I'm the first person you call.
- Yes, sir.
[Spider-Man.]
Never thought I'd get to be a spaceship pilot.
I never thought I'd unlock this much power.
Who knew, right? If you think you're faster than me, you're dreaming.
Hey, always dream big! Race ya home!
What kind of race is this, Nova? You're not even trying.
[laughs.]
Can't hear you back there! Boom! Alright, Nova.
If that's the way you want it.
[laughs.]
Hey, spider dork, that is totally cheating! Ah, what's the point anyway? Uh, we're racing? I was kicking your butt? - It was good times? - Talking big picture.
I've traveled the stars and fought with cosmic heroes.
Sometimes I feel like there should be way more to my life.
Dude, what more do you want? You can fly like a rocket and blast lasers out of your [crash.]
[glass windshield squeaks.]
[grunts.]
Oooowww! Uh, there's a bug on the windshield! [Spider-Man.]
Whoa! [grunts.]
Ahh! Unh! [Spider-Man.]
Who leaves a space ship double-parked over Manhattan? [grunting.]
I know what this is.
Come on! [grunts.]
[grunts.]
[roars.]
You need to keep this bucket from crashing, Rocket! [both grunting, groaning.]
Aah! The Guardians of the Galaxy! What are you doing here on Earth? [banging.]
[both.]
Whoa! - Crashing! - [grunts.]
Can I help? Hope so, sparky, because wait.
I-is that what you're about to crash into? [humming.]
That's my house! And that's my Aunt May! [grunts.]
Uh, we don't want to crash there, or anywhere else! The Omnium generator is down! I need an extra pair of hands over here! - I-I-I am Groot! - [grunts.]
Go help them! Ahh! You got it, Rocky! [grunts.]
Spidey! Keep these in place while I get the generator back online! Or I can do this.
That'll work.
I hope.
[Rocket Raccoon.]
Ungh, hurry! [humming.]
Mmh! Whoo [humming.]
[Spider-Man.]
Here goes nothing! [grunt.]
[screaming.]
Whoa! [singing.]
Huh? [faint music on earbuds.]
[Rocket Raccoon.]
Cloaking device back online.
Hmm.
[singing.]
[tired sigh.]
[raccoon chattering.]
I am Groot.
[sighs.]
You and me both, pal.
Whew.
At least my house-slash-Aunt is no worse for wear.
Which is more than we can say about this ship.
[Nova.]
Star-Lord, how did this happen? We took major battle damage on our way here.
We almost crashed on Jupiter.
Drax and Gamora got the brunt of it.
Their conditions are finally stabilizing.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Just give it some time.
There ain't no one tougher than Drax and Gamora.
What did this to you? Vicious intergalactic terrorist, what calls himself Titus.
[Nova.]
I've heard of him.
Everyone in the Nova Corps knows about Titus.
He used to be a member of the Nova Corps.
'Til he betrayed them.
And I'm all that's left.
He just found out you were here on Earth and we intercepted.
He's coming for you, Sam.
[Spider-Man.]
Him? What does "cuddles" want from him? Hey, clearly someone in this galaxy sees me for the awesomeness that I so clearly am! Or he's a guy who likes to go a long way just to be annoyed.
[tin can sound.]
He wants this.
He's coming all the way here for bucket head's bucket? It's a Nova Corps helmet.
There's a lot more going on in there than even I know.
And I know a lot.
I gotta say, I'm excited that this one is about me.
Calm down! It's not about you.
It's about your bucket.
So let's go get him.
Can't.
The ship's Omnium generator is on its last legs.
I got this.
I'll call up Tony Stark or Nick Fury.
- Shield'll have what you need.
- I can't let you do that, Spider-Man.
But they can help.
They have all the toys.
We're supposed to protect Earth.
Not interact with it.
It doesn't go well when less, well, evolved planets try to play with things they don't understand.
[sighs.]
Okay.
You need a part, but we have to keep it on the down low.
What do we do? I'll be right back.
Groot, you're with me.
But, uh, I actually live there.
I am Groot.
No talking.
Trees don't talk on Earth.
Got it.
I told you to stay on the ship.
Oh.
I must have been absent the day you were made the boss of me.
So, what'd you find? I found the only Omnium on the planet.
It's right here.
That's the S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
tri-carrier.
I told you Fury would have the stuff.
Perfect.
Quill stays here to fix things.
We fetch the Omnium.
It's not exactly a place you can just "sneak on board.
" It's like the most fortified, secure place on the planet.
Oh, the most secure place on Planet Earth.
You don't say.
We get in, grab it, and get out.
What about the giant tree alien you left on my lawn? [Rocket Raccoon.]
Groot is there to protect your house in case we were followed.
[Aunt May.]
Was that tree always there? Phoof! I've been in the sun too long today.
[sniffing.]
I.
Am.
Groot.
[whimpers.]
Top of the morning! How's it going? - Aw! - Just act natural.
Why would I do that? I don't do that normally.
- [Rocket.]
Aah! - He really doesn't.
There! Ugh! It's locked.
You know, because this is the most fortified place in the world.
No! Turn around.
[grunts.]
[beeping.]
I don't know what you think you're going to be able to - Oh.
- [Nova.]
Whoa, what is this place? Armory.
It's where Nick Fury keeps all the cool stuff.
Omnium generator.
Close by.
You call this secure? I've seen Chitauri flower gardens with more defenses.
There! One Omnium generator.
What is Nick Fury doing with something like that? Probably found it and doesn't even know what it is.
Let's go.
Well, that was easy.
What exactly are you doing here? I can explain this, actually.
[explosion.]
[screaming.]
[growling.]
All hands! This is Nick Fury! We are under attack! [growling.]
Chitauri! Must've found out what I did to their flower garden! [growls.]
Alpha team, move in! Beta team, take the outside perimeter and shut the hole in our hull! And you kids better have a good explana - [Nova.]
We're running away!? - Titus knew how to find you! We have to get this fight away from normal human people.
We have to get back to our ship.
[Spider-Man.]
Lemme guess.
Titus.
Now, that is a big ship.
Give me the Nova helmet, or this planet will burn! Not on my watch, and not on my planet.
[explosion.]
[screaming.]
Yikes! Whatever happened to "take me to your leader?" [Nova.]
Titus! That Nova helmet has power beyond imagination.
You use a mere fraction of its might.
Only I can unleash its destructive potential.
Now hand it over or this one will cease to be.
Nobody touches the helmet! Okay.
Let's stay calm.
Not do anything silly.
[deep growling.]
Yah! [growling.]
Silly like that! [roars, grunts.]
Kid, we have to take this off planet.
[grunting.]
[yelling.]
Webs! Let's go! [roaring.]
After them! [grunting.]
[fiendish roaring.]
Ee-yah! Whoa! [Spider-Man.]
I want a rocket pack, too! Oh, come on!! Iron Man is much cooler than Thor.
It's not even close.
[rumbling, whirring.]
Huh? [Star-Lord.]
What? Huh? Whoa! [growling.]
- Groot! - Whoa! Hi, I am Groot.
Aah! - Nice job sneaking in and sneaking out.
- You're being sarcastic, right? [growling.]
I am Groot! Literally nothing could make this cooler.
Whoa! Hey, mac! [roaring.]
How much for a leisurely ride around Central Park? [Rocket.]
C'mon, creeps! Let's play ring around the ringtail! Yah! Duh.
[groans.]
And the mighty Drax is back! Does that mean that ? Whoa! [Gamora screams.]
Oh, yes it does! Gamora is in the fight.
[roaring.]
[Gamora grunts.]
[growling.]
I see you're feeling better.
Are we on Earth? You know how I feel about Earth! At least it's not Jupiter.
[shrieking.]
[grunting.]
Yah! Did you get the Omnium? Of course! Web-head, come on! Back me up.
[Spider-Man.]
Where are we going? Throw me the backpack, and watch the airlock.
We would've been better off crashing on Jupiter.
- Hurry up.
- It's a delicate operation, sparky.
One false move and I blow us all up.
Blow up? You never said anything about blowing up! [grunts.]
My arms aren't long enough.
You have to do it.
You want me to do it? What about the whole blowing up thing? Don't do that part.
[Chitauri.]
Gah! [grunting.]
Yah! Whoa! - Care-ful - Would you mind?! [whimpering.]
[roaring.]
[both sigh.]
[Chitauri growling.]
[Groot roaring.]
[Star-Lord.]
Well done everyone.
Here comes Titus.
[kid.]
Mom! [Titus.]
I want the Nova helmet.
[Chitauri.]
Yes, Commander Titus! And I want those Guardians to suffer for wasting my time! [Star-Lord.]
Drax, Gamora, Groot.
Battle stations.
Rocket, you're on systems.
Nova, copilot.
Um, Star-Lord, what about me? - What should I do? - Sit quietly, and watch the magic.
Guys, we need to launch.
Now! They've got weapons locked! [grunt.]
You know, I don't know if I said this before, but that is a really big ship.
[Titus.]
If they won't give me the Nova helmet, then I'll salvage it from the burning remains of their ship! Attack! Ah! C'mon, Star-Lord.
A little warning next time? If there is a next time! Star-Lord, if you're gonna do something, do it now! I need more thruster power! [grunts.]
- What are you doing? - He can't hit what he can't hit! [Gamora groaning.]
[grunts.]
[Rocket Raccoon.]
Hailing unidentified warship.
This is the Guardians of the Galaxy.
We accept your surrender, you giant pile of garbage.
I will end you! Ah! [all grunting.]
[roaring.]
Oh, look.
Uninvited guests.
I am Groot! Ahh! [screams.]
I've got them.
You! Grab the controls! Me? Fly the ship? [sigh.]
I can do this.
Blow them out of the sky! [Drax growls.]
[Spider-Man.]
Heads up, JJJ! If we get out of this alive, that was awesome! [chittering.]
Hey! Get out of my chair! I'll take it from here on.
Man! I was just getting the hang of it! [groaning.]
I am Groot.
[groaning.]
Did you see me flying the ship! Did ya? What did Titus mean? He said I was only using a fraction of what it's capable of.
Makes sense.
You only use a fraction of your brain.
I don't know, Nova.
Maybe there's more to you than you think.
Titus used to be one of you.
No one knows the secrets of the Nova other than the Nova.
Whatever is in that helmet must be worth all of this.
Turn the ship around.
I know what I have to do.
- We have a locked target.
- Then blast them.
I will take the helmet off this earthling's What is that? [beeping alarm.]
Raise the shields! Shields! You want my helmet? Yah! Here's my helmet! [screaming.]
[yelling.]
[cry of fear.]
Whoa! Nova just swiss-cheesed Titus' ship.
[grunts.]
I should have thanked you, Titus.
Sometimes I forget what I'm capable of.
What I was destined to be.
And just so that we're both perfectly clear? You will never take this helmet from me.
[roaring.]
[triumphant yelling.]
Nova We gotta save Nova, before he shows up right in front of us all glowy and alive? - Sam! You you look - I look awesome! I told you that helmet had untapped secrets of the Nova Corps.
I'm the Ultimate Nova! [growling.]
Oh! [growling.]
Still full of fight, huh? We can fix that.
[fierce growling.]
Can I get a good deal on a hand cannon? Because I looked online and prices were So, how are you liking Earth? [growls, stops.]
- H-hey, I didn't get a shot! - Sorry about that.
Yeah [mumbling.]
Okay, you Guardians need to take him and get him out of here before uh - We are so dead.
- A-hem.
[Gamora.]
Well if it isn't Nicholas Joseph Fury.
- Joseph? - Gamora.
You promised you'd never set foot on Earth again.
I lied.
Chitauri are on the run.
Let 'em go? Or should we finish 'em off? [Groot chuckles.]
Well done, Ultimate Spider-Man.
Ultimate Nova.
[grunts.]
I am Groot! Groot's right.
This planet smells funny.
Guardians of the Galaxy, let's get outta here.
The next time aliens invade Earth, - I'm the first person you call.
- Yes, sir.
[Spider-Man.]
Never thought I'd get to be a spaceship pilot.
I never thought I'd unlock this much power.
Who knew, right? If you think you're faster than me, you're dreaming.
Hey, always dream big! Race ya home!