Amphibia (2019) s03e02 Episode Script

1
[car honks]
[frogs croaking]
[yawns]
[all] Where you going, Anne?
Uh, the mailbox.
Sounds exciting.
-Can we come? Please?
-[grunting]
Uh, yeah. I guess.
-[both] Yay!
-Whoo-hoo!
[squeaks]
You know, I used to only get the mail
to intercept my report card.
But these days-- Huh?
Hey, smallish humans.
[screams] Hey! Watch it!
You overgrown stinkbugs!
What did you call us?
Sorry, sorry. She’s just a baby.
-[chuckles]
-Weirdest baby I’ve ever seen.
[growls]
Ooh! That looks fun.
-[Anne] Sprig, no!
-[grunts]
[pants]
-[Hop Pop] A free vacation?
-[gasps]
Just for listening to your talk?
Well, sign me up.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[gulping]
Ah!
Something wrong, kiddo?
Where do I start?
Polly nearly got in a fight.
Hop Pop was seconds away
from getting scammed.
And Sprig almost got turned
into wood chips.
Wait. Sprig is made out of wood?
[groans]
I’m exhausted just trying
to keep them all alive.
[laughs] Sounds like being a parent.
The trick is to ease them into the world.
Slow and steady like how
I’m easing this egg into--
Dang it!
Just be patient.
This is a lot of new for them.
Yeah, you’re right. Slow and steady.
[vocalizes, gasps]
Bleh!
Think you’re tough? Bring it on, humans.
Free money? And all I have to do
is give you my bank account numbers?
[inhales, roars]
-[grunting]
-Nope.
Slow and steady ain’t gonna cut it.
You three will be dead in two days.
-Is that a threat?
-You okay, Anne?
Here. Take this free stress test
I got from that guy.
No. The responsible thing to do
is to train you all at once
at the most chaotic
and dangerous place I know.
The mall… where I learned
life’s most important skills.
And where you’re gonna learn the lessons
you need to survive in my world.
[scoffs] Survive?
Your world is soft, Anne.
Yeah. I mean, the animals don’t even try
to disembowel you.
Yeah, we don’t need no stinking--
[all scream]
Ow!
[clears throat] Proceed.
I’ve come up with a specific task
for each of you.
First up, Polly.
You need to control your temper.
It’s drawing too much attention,
and we’re trying to keep a low profile.
I say what I want when I want!
Maybe in Wartwood, but not here.
Your mission is to go into that store
and build a custom plushy
without fighting anyone.
Huh. Child’s play.
Sprig, you can’t touch everything
or you’re gonna lose a limb.
But there’s so many new surfaces
and textures.
Your mission is to walk through
that gallery of art installations
without touching any of them.
Eh, looks simple enough.
Finally, Hop Pop.
You need to stop taking free stuff.
In my world, everything has a price.
Then why did they call it "free," Anne?
Hmm? Because they think
I’m gullible and easily scammed?
-Yep.
-Oh, well, that’s actually pretty clever.
Your mission is to make it through
Kiosk Alley,
without falling for any free scams.
[laughs]
I’ll be watching all of you from up here.
You got 20 minutes to complete
your missions.
And if one of us screws up?
Then you can’t be trusted
to leave the house… ever.
-No way! Scatter!
-Since when do you set the stakes?
[all scream, grunt]
Oh, boy.
Piece of cake! [blows raspberry]
Hmm. This will do.
Yoink, yoink.
Hmm. No, thanks.
Don’t know why Anne thought
this would be difficult.
-Huh?
-[babbles]
[Anne] Build a custom plushy
without fighting anyone.
Oh, hello there.
I think there’s been a misunderstanding.
-But that’s--
-[spits]
What the-- Hey, lady!
Your chubby spawn is ruining my work.
Did you just call my kid a spawn?
[thinking] Focus, Polly.
Don’t make a scene.
[sighs] Know what? It’s fine.
-I’ll just get more-- Hey!
-[babbles]
-Hey!
-[giggling]
Must contain fury!
Whoa!
Such textures to explore.
[gasps] Whoa!
[grunts, giggles]
[Anne] Then you can’t be trusted
to leave the house ever.
Whoa. It’s fine. Totally fine.
I can just look and appreciate from afar.
[humming]
[groans]
[pants, groans]
[grunts] Come on, Sprig. Fight it.
[groans]
Must be some kind of performance piece.
Sir, how would you like a free gift card?
-[groans]
-You there, do you wanna regrow that hair?
I know you do.
Hey there, handsome.
Wanna start your modeling career
with some headshots?
Just need your ID.
It’s 100%, no strings attached, free.
[groaning]
[gasps, grunts]
[stomach rumbling] Oof.
It’s the last time I get sushi out of
the vending machine. Hmm?
[gasps] Mark here.
Got a suspicious looking COD,
Creepy Old Dude, on radar.
I’m in pursuit.
[hums] So far, so good.
The Anne Boonchuy trial by fire
is really paying off.
OMG. Anne! Is it really you?
Where have you been?
Is it true you went missing
or ran away or died or something?
Don’t be ridiculous, Gabby.
I was just on my family’s farm.
In Alaska. For five months.
Well, now that you’re back
I got to catch you up on all the hot goss.
-Listen, I’m sorta--
-So, Bridget got mad at Carlos
’cause she thought Carlos
went to the movies with Johanna.
But it was actually Yoko.
Yoko and Bridget stopped being
BFFs until they both got mad at Tommy,
because Tommy said, "We’ve only
been dating since second grade.
We’re not soul mates."
[groaning]
I can’t do this.
These things are just so cool.
Yeah. And then I said,
"Dude, you’re gonna get caught."
Right? So obvious.
Chance.
Touch.
Feeling.
[chuckles]
Uh-oh.
Whoa!
[screams, grunts]
-[babies babbling]
-Almost done. Ha!
[grunts, laughs]
Whoa!
[babbles] Destroy?
No! Please!
I’m so tired! This madness needs to stop!
[babbles] Destroy.
That’s it!
[screams]
-[Polly grunts]
-[cries]
-[grunts]
-[babbling]
Can someone get the manager?
[chuckles] Take that, Anne.
Told you your world was easy-pea-- [gasps]
It can’t be. Thousands of coppers
just there for the taking.
For free!
They didn’t know it,
but they ended up going
to the same restaurant.
Chance.
[gasps]
We got a disrober
stealing wishes in progress. Over.
So what started out as a love triangle
is now some kind of disgusting
love rhombus.
-[Sprig screams]
-[gasps]
[all screaming]
[grunting]
I may have touched something!
Oh, shoot!
Good to see you, Gabs. Got to go.
Later, Anne.
Glad you made it back from Alaska.
[Sprig, Polly screaming]
Gangway! Angry moms coming through!
[all crying]
Oh. At least it can’t get any worse.
[Hop Pop] Help me, Anne! Help me!
[screams]
Hop Pop, why are you green?
The cursed fountain did this to me.
You were right, Anne!
Everything has its price.
Okay, first things first.
Gotta clean up this mess.
You’re doing great, sweetie.
-[grunts]
-[child screams]
[shutter clicks]
-[gasps]
-[grunts]
Honestly, I can’t tell the difference.
Oh, hey. Bada bing.
-Ooh.
-[babies crying]
Can I help you, ladies?
Why, yes. We’re looking for a ruffian
who was making trouble
for our little angels.
I’ve got just the guy.
Excuse me, sir.
I have a number of ladies here
who would like to complain.
-You listen here…
-[all chattering]
Headquarters, I’ve got a pack of MIDs.
That is Moms In Distress.
Send backup! Send backup!
[woman] …the manager.
[all panting]
[all panting]
Well, guess we failed our trials.
Oh, you think?
No, no. I’m the one who failed.
I shouldn’t have put you guys
through all this in the first place.
It was too much, too soon.
Don’t feel too bad.
Turns out we could stand to learn
a few things about your world.
I just really thought throwing you
into the deep end would work.
I mean, it worked for me in Amphibia.
[all] Uh…
-[scoffing, laughing]
-Whoa!
You barely survived.
Yeah. Remember when she
was looking at her phone
and walked right into
that pool of quicksand?
[screams]
Or when she was napping outside
and a swarm of skullsuckers
tried to carry her away?
[all laughing]
Hey, I don’t remember that last part.
Anne, we were always looking out for you.
Even if you didn’t always notice.
Thanks, guys. I had no idea.
And I’ll try to do better about easing you
into this place.
I think we need to get Hop Pop
to a shower.
Oh, yes, please. My skin is burning.
[frogs croaking]
-[grunts]
-[King Andrias] The box!
Marcy!
No! She managed to open the portal.
Well, no matter.
I still have the box.
So, what about you two? Are you with me?
-We’re with you.
-Definitely with you.
Good. Get her to a rejuvenation tank.
And make it snappy.
She’s fading fast.
There’s nothing we can do for her.
Now let’s move before someone--
So what’s the plan, Captain?
I’m gonna have to toss you out the window.
The window?
No, Grime!
[screaming]
[screams, grunts]
Ha! Ha! A flawless escape.
And did you have a plan
for after you threw us out a window?
[shrieks]
[shrieks]
Well, that’s lucky.
Excellent work, George Sparrow.
[squawks]
Anne, Marcy, please be all right.
So many loose ends.
So little time.
Follow them.
[Grime] Our army has been captured.
Looks like we’ll have to take shelter
somewhere and come up with a new strategy.
Okay, but where do we even go?
Your tower?
Andrias will be expecting that.
Then we’ll have to go somewhere
he doesn’t expect.
Look up there in the sky.
[chirping]
What in the frog is going on?
Why are you two here?
Is it just me or is the palace flying?
Where are the Plantars? Where’s Anne?
Where’s Sprig?
What do we tell them?
Not the truth. That’s for sure.
[clears throat] People of Wartwood,
we have terrible news.
The king has turned out to be
a ruthless tyrant of unspeakable power.
-[all gasp]
-Well, I never voted for him.
Anne and the Plantars
had to go on a daring mission.
But they send us to protect you fine frogs
in the meantime.
Right, Sasha?
There’s no way they’re gonna trust us
just because we name-dropped Anne.
Not with that attitude.
[Mrs. Croaker] Oh, what a relief.
Classic Anne. Always looking out for us.
Why, that’s wonderful.
Rest easy tonight, folks,
because Anne’s best friend
is here to watch over us.
[all cheering]
Okay. We’ll lay low here
and then in a day or two,
we’ll ditch this crummy town.
Dibs on Hop Pop’s bed.
You gonna come in
or just stand there and be weird?
I-- I think I’ll sleep in the barn.
[grunts]
[snores]
Now that is a big potato.
[chirps]
[gasps] Oh, a tiny snail.
-[chirps]
-And a bigger snail.
Well, don’t mind me.
I’m gonna go sleep in the corner
with the rest of the trash.
It’s all someone like me deserves.
[rooster crows]
[snorts] Who is it? Where am I?
Of course this is my natural hair color.
Rise and shine. I made worm waffles.
[worms squeaking]
I’m not hungry.
Look, I get you feel guilty
about tricking your friends
and inadvertently helping
the king get the music box.
But you’ve got to get ahold of yourself.
[grunts]
We need to be in fighting shape
if we’re going to take down Andrias and--
-[horn honks]
-What’s that sound?
[both scream]
Ooh! I love an enthusiastic welcome.
I just wanted to thank you again
for watching over the town.
Ooh! Boysenbug!
Gonna go inside and heat this bad boy up.
I wasn’t sure about those two, Archie,
but they turned out to be good eggs.
[sighs]
[Wally] Yoo-hoo!
Oh, no.
[concertina playing]
[laughs] Any friend of Anne’s
is a friend of mine.
That’s touching. Look, I got to go.
Yes, she’s taught me many lessons.
Showing me the importance of honesty…
-[grunts]
-…being true to yourself,
the meaning of friendship.
I’ve been working on a song about it.
-[vocalizes]
-No! Can’t right now.
Very busy protecting the town
for Anne and stuff.
[groans] I swear if one more
country bumpkin--
[screams] Free bread, anyone?
[grunts] Get away from me!
Don’t want the extra carbs, eh? I get it.
-[chomping]
-[sighs]
Great news. I got a message from Beatrix.
She’s hiding underground
with the toads that avoided capture.
They’ve got weapons,
soldiers and fortification.
We’ve got to join her.
Why? So we can come up
with another cruddy plan that fails
and ends up hurting the people we love?
[groans] No need to be a downer.
You want another strawberry, little guy?
Yes, you do.
Look, I don’t know.
Maybe we’re doing this all wrong.
-[crash]
-[grunts] What is it this time?
Look, just take the muffins
or cake or whatever else you--
Oh.
-They must have tracked us here.
-Go for the legs.
[screaming]
Signal reinforcements.
Dang thing was calling for help.
There’s probably a whole army of them
on their way now.
Let’s pack up. We’re getting out of here.
What? We can’t leave these frogs
to face them on their own.
What about that old lady
who gave us a pie?
Lieutenant, these bumpkins
will only slow us down.
And if I’m being honest,
that piecrust was soggy.
I know it’s harsh,
but Wartwood is done for.
We need to rejoin our forces
and make plans for the coming war.
No, enough with the plans and the schemes.
-I’m done.
-What?
But you love schemes.
Lies, manipulation, backstabbing,
it’s, like, your thing.
Since when have you cared?
Since I saw the consequences.
[sighs] Listen, Lieutenant,
whatever you’re dealing with,
you need to confront it.
Go into that house, face what burdens you.
Then when you’ve got your head
back on straight, come join me.
Please.
[Anne] Sasha, Marcy and I
are finally together.
And you know what? It’s awesome.
Tomorrow we head to Newtopia.
And after that I think
we’re actually going home.
I’m so happy I trusted Sasha again.
I always knew, even after everything
that happened, we’d work it out.
[sobbing] Oh, Anne. I’m so sorry.
I shouldn’t have tried so hard
to be in control again.
In the end, where did it get me?
Well, that ends now.
I wanna be someone better.
Someone that deserves you.
I know what I have to do.
Listen up, everyone.
I called you all here to tell you that…
[inhales] …a robot army is on its way
to destroy Wartwood.
[all gasp]
-What? An army?
-How many are we talking?
-What’s a robot?
-[Sasha] And that’s not all…
I lied to you about Anne sending us
to protect the town.
She’s been zapped to another world
that has no idea I’m even here.
I’m no guardian. I’m a fraud.
[all gasp]
Fraud or not, though,
I’m gonna do the right thing
for once in my life.
With my last breath,
I’m gonna defend this town.
[all scream]
Whoa, Nelly!
-Present.
-Shut up, Nelly.
[engines whirring]
Only one?
Honestly, that doesn’t seem that bad.
Of course.
[shouts, grunting]
[screams]
[straining]
Oh, no.
[grunts]
Sorry I’m late.
Grimesy!
I got to thinking,
Beatrix may have weapons and soldiers,
but you know what she doesn’t have?
You, Lieutenant.
Grimesy!
-No. Get off me.
-You big softy.
Increasing deployment.
Thirty against two, eh?
Hardly a fair fight.
[screaming]
-Die, robot scum!
-[burps]
Good boy.
What the--
Oi! Bugger off.
[clanking]
[grunting]
Hi-yah!
-[grunts]
-[squeaking]
-[grunting]
-[ringing]
[screams]
[screams]
No way. The townspeople?
By Barrel’s belly.
They’re deadlier than any soldier.
-Grime!
-Way ahead of you!
Locking on.
Those blasted things are following us.
Then let’s lead them
in the right direction.
[screams]
I think you’re enjoying this too much.
Wow. I don’t-- I don’t know what to say.
You said enough, deary.
You may have been
a terrible person, Sasha,
but you were honest with us
when you didn’t have to be.
And taking those robots on alone
to protect us frogs…
It really is something I would’ve done.
Thanks, you guys. You can count on me.
-For real this time.
-[all cheer]
So what happens now?
[all cheering]
We start fighting back.
[theme song playing]
[Anne laughs]
[Hop Pop] Whoo-hoo! Baby ♪
-[Sprig vocalizes]
-[Hop Pop] Whoa!
-[Polly screams]
-[Anne] Baby ♪
[Sprig vocalizes]
[Anne] Ba-ba-ba-baby ♪
[song ends]