Andi Mack (2017) s03e02 Episode Script

1 Previously on Andi Mack Every year, Cece tries so hard to impress my Aunt Mei that it turns into a festival of stress.
Bowie's not the caterer, he's Andi's father.
He's a fabulous cook and an avid botanist.
His work Jonah gets back from ultimate camp today.
You heard from him? I didn't miss him as much as I thought I would.
Or, at all.
- Hey, Shnoo.
- Yes! ANDI: Cece, do you hear me? Pops is home.
BOTH: Will you marry me? Yes! - Yo! - Yo! ANDI: My parents are getting married.
JONAH: Cool.
You and me We're - Definitely just friends.
- Still together.
Can you get it any higher? Not unless we call the fire department.
Wow.
Look at this place.
HAM: Hello, girls.
(SCOFFS) Finally.
Did you get everything? Shadyside isn't exactly stocked up for the Moon Festival.
This was the closest we could get to a Jade Rabbit candle.
Oh, well, thanks for trying.
I guess.
I think a unicorn will fit right in.
Boggles the mind, huh? You've outdone yourself.
It's beyond Chinese New Year.
Oh no.
Please tell me this doesn't mean what I think it means.
- (GROANING) - What? I couldn't stop her.
I tried.
What are you guys talking about? She invited Aunt Mei.
You wouldn't.
We only see her once a year, right Cece? Well, I have to formally announce Bex and Bowie's engagement to the rest of the family.
But the rest of the family is just Aunt Mei.
Really? Huh.
Okay.
Well, maybe it could just be a celebration.
I mean, just because Aunt Mei is here doesn't mean it has to be all tense and stressful with you two trying to one up each other.
It's too late, isn't it? I should have gotten here sooner.
Yeah, like 40 years ago.
I'm standing on the edge And everything I know has blown away Life is upside down But anywhere it goes, I'll work it out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Here we go One, two, three I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't no map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't no map to follow But I'm with you all the way All the way Okay, I have a situation and I need your advice.
Ooh, a situation.
I love a good situation.
Also a sticky wicket and a brouhaha.
- Are you done? - Never.
I told Jonah that I just want to be friends.
Good for you.
But he still thinks we're a couple.
Ah, we have reached the sticky part of the wicket.
So I quickly backpedaled and agreed with him.
I think I was a little premature with that "good for you.
" I don't even know why I said it.
I guess a part of me likes that he still likes me.
Either way, I should probably invite him to the Moon Festival party, right? Yeah, you should.
And if anything gets awkward, - we'll be there to smooth things over.
- Thanks.
That makes me feel a lot better.
Don't thank us yet.
Thank us in half now.
And you can thank us in full once the job is complete.
Take a look.
(SNORTING) What's that scary little sound mean? Oh, nothing.
Just wondering if Mei still got that same helmet head haircut.
Mom.
You heard what Andi said didn't you? Please don't make this a competition.
You don't have to win Moon Festival.
You're right.
I don't have to.
But I can.
Between your engagement and this look, I think I'm a lock.
Oh, you don't want to do that.
Why not? Mooncakes are the Chinese version of a Christmas fruit cake.
But they look so delicious.
And I'm feeling really dessert-y.
They're filled with bean paste.
I've lost that dessert-y feeling.
Oh, I better remember to warn Jonah.
After what happened at Chinese New Year, he's pretty brave to take on another holiday.
That reminds me, I have to warn Cece that I invited Jonah too.
Nothing says "party" like dishing out a bunch of warnings.
Oh, the bowl I sent you! I wasn't sure you liked it.
Of course I do.
It's lovely.
You filled it with chips.
Taro chips.
To dispel bad luck.
It's a Tibetan singing bowl! You use it to create healing vibrations! But when it's not singing, it also works as a "bowl" bowl.
(DOORBELL RINGS) It's Mei! She's early! - Family! Places! - I'm gonna get that.
Oh, no, no.
Andi, you need to get in your spot.
But it's probably Buffy or Cyrus or, it could really even be Oh, oh.
No, no, no.
Not tonight.
The stakes are too high.
(SPEAKING IN CANTONESE) You used the right dialect You're dressed appropriately You even brought me my second favorite tea.
Get in here.
Wait.
We're here for the moon, too.
Uh How thoughtful? It's not a gift.
This is to keep the mosquitos away.
The Goodman blood is like nectar to them.
It's true.
Like moths to a swollen, itchy flame.
This is actually a singing bowl, you know, when it's not filled with chips.
Look at Jonah, already killing it at the party.
He's like the perfect boyfriend.
Okay, he politely accepted a snack.
We don't have to give him a blue ribbon.
Mei is point two miles away.
Uh, how do you know that? I'm tracking her ride.
(GROANING) If she doesn't turn off location services, she's practically begging me to spy on her.
Family, take your places! What's happening? We have to create a "family tableau" so that everything is perfect when CeCe announces Bex and Bowie's engagement.
Andi! Your mark! Good luck.
We'll stay clear.
Okay.
Alright, tilt your head like this, and remember, look natural.
(SNEEZES) What? Are you kidding me? (DOORBELL RINGS) Happy faces! Ham.
Welcome back.
I want to hear everything about your time as a monk.
Hello, Mei.
It's always Yeah, that's it.
You remember my daughter, Ling.
Surprise! HAM: That is a surprise.
Guess what? Mei brought Ling.
- Hello.
- BOWIE: Hi, Ling.
BEX: Ling, hi! Wow.
I haven't seen you in such a long time.
A tableau, just for me? You shouldn't have! Bex and Bowie are engaged! How nice for you.
Ling is pregnant.
With twins! - Oh my goodness.
- Wow.
- Congratulations.
- That's amazing.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- I know.
- HAM: Congratulations.
That's beautiful.
Thank you.
(STAMMERING) Congratulations.
Celia.
Is she okay? Of course she's okay! It's the Moon Festival! And she's throwing this great party.
And she looks amazing.
And her daughter's getting married.
Oh.
Oh, the babies are moving.
The babies are moving.
I'm gonna go see if she's okay.
Whoo! Why did I wipe the wax? That was so dumb.
These things happen.
No need to panic.
Take a deep breath.
(BOTH BREATHE DEEPLY) There you go.
I wish I didn't have to be here.
You were doing so well.
Aggh! It's so stressful! I mean, saying the right things, wearing the right clothes, buying the right tea You have no idea how many teas are out there.
Somewhere around three thousand.
- That's too many.
- I know.
- And now this mess.
- This is nothing.
At my Bubbe's birthday, I had to help her blow out the candles.
Eighty-five, plus one to grow on.
Bubbe was covered in wax.
And then this one Hanukkah Cyrus.
Just how do I fix this? Well, now that the wax is dry We just scrape it off.
Cyrus, you're a life-saver.
This is so much easier without Bubbe squirming.
- The paint! - (GASPS) Lotus seed.
My favorite paste.
Mmm, good tea.
Oolong.
Isn't it wonderful? Mothers and daughters together, bonding.
The Joy Luck Club's got nothing on us.
Do you think Bex is okay? Why wouldn't she be? We left her alone with Celia, Mei and Ling.
She might need back-up.
I should go in.
What do you think? You're just gonna just flash your smile and twinkle your eyes and everything's gonna be okay? Well yeah.
I'm sure she's fine.
But keep that twinkle and smile on standby, just in case.
I have a pretty great pout too, in case we need that.
Sorry, that's my department.
I own pout.
Ooh, that is pretty good.
Hey guys.
What are you (GASPS) Bad.
We know.
Can you help us fix it? No! I want no part of this.
Too late.
You've seen it.
You're in.
We need a plan.
- Do you have one? - Yes.
- What is it? - Asking you guys for help.
(ALL LAUGHING AND CHATTING) Well, Bowie was a rock star touring with the Renaissance Boys, but gave it all up to be with Bex and Andi.
Well, my son-in-law would've been here except he is at a gum disease conference.
- Ew.
- Ugh.
I think rock star wins this round.
I want to talk about your wedding.
When's the big day? - We haven't gotten that far yet.
- No.
Well, word to the wise, start planning soon.
My wedding took fifteen months to prepare.
Fifteen months? No thank you.
We could just get married at City Hall.
That's fine by me.
Andi, quick question.
Cyrus, not now! City Hall? Well, that would be lovely.
It's a destination wedding.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous.
- She's gonna have a wedding.
- There's gonna be a wedding.
- Obviously.
Maid of honor, ready to go.
I need toothpaste.
Cyrus, your breath is fine.
- I have a situation.
- I have a bigger one.
BUFFY: Toothpaste cleans plaque not wax.
This from one sneeze? How did this happen? I don't know.
I'm just a boy, standing in front of a wall, trying to cover it with toothpaste.
It doesn't matter how hard I try, every time I come to one of your family parties, I mess up.
You deserve a better boyfriend.
If I were you, I'd break up with me.
That was a joke.
I was kidding.
Do you want to break up with me? Let's talk.
Should we keep doing this, or can we just walk away? I don't think we can walk away.
But I'm willing to try.
I wasn't here from the beginning.
I just came on at toothpaste.
I don't know what we're gonna do about this mess.
Yes, I do.
It's nothing, I can fix it in like, two minutes.
Who ever gave you the idea to use toothpaste? And my toothbrush? All the others were electric.
Go.
Go, go, go.
(LAUGHING) God.
City Hall? How could you say City Hall? In front of my sister! Well, I'm sorry.
Maybe you're forgetting it's my wedding, which means I get to do things my way.
That's not how it works.
No? How does it work? I get to plan your wedding, but I convince you it was your idea.
Is that true? Is that how it works? Well, it can be a very fun and bonding experience for a mother and daughter to share.
I just I want my wedding to be simple.
And small.
No fuss.
Then it will be.
I'm really not opposed to having it at City Hall.
But I am sorry I said that in front of Aunt Mei.
Did you hear her cackle about how she'd be able to pay her parking tickets? Maybe we don't invite her? See? We're bonding already! I can't even look at that mooncake she brought.
(BOTH MAKE GAGGING SOUNDS) Let me see if I got this.
You don't want to break up.
No.
Those words, they're so awful.
But you don't want to be a couple anymore either? Huh.
Jonah, I like you so much, but I just want to be friends.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
I just I wanna be friends, too.
But you said that I didn't want to "break up" with you either.
I thought there were only two options.
So we both want to go back to just being friends.
But you don't want to break up with me, and I don't want to break up with you.
Is that allowed? I don't know.
But I think we just did it.
Oh, there you are.
I was looking for you.
I didn't want you to get upset.
There was a little accident with the candle wax I don't care.
Excuse me now? I really thought I was gonna win Moon Festival.
You lost? Oh, I had no idea.
When did the final results come in? Celia, thank you for another lovely holiday.
What? You're not gonna stay for the floating lanterns? Oh, Ling needs her rest.
She's eating and sleeping for three now.
Mei, you don't need to keep rubbing it in.
I'm truly happy for you.
For all of you.
But wait.
We don't have a picture of you two.
HAM: We need a picture.
Do we? Trust me.
Okay, so, scoot back just a little.
Little bit more.
Just a Oh! Perfect.
And HAM: Look how beautiful you look.
- Text it to me.
- Oh, for sure.
Why did we need that picture? So we can get this one.
(BOTH LAUGHING) - Text it to me.
- Oh, yes! Okay, everybody.
Write down a wish you to send up in your lantern.
- I'll take two.
- No.
One wish per lantern.
I'm bringing my own rice paper next time.
So, how'd it go with Jonah? Great! We're just friends.
- You broke up with him.
- Nope.
- He broke up with you? - Nope.
This is a new one.
We invented it.
Can't decide on a wish? It's kind of hard, when you have everything you want.
You might want to pace yourself.
We do have the rest of our lives together.
Yeah, I know.
And your touch is all I'm wanting For poor or for richer CELIA: It's time.
Let's go to the park.
head over heels, big time for real Ooh baby, I love you, I love you ANDI: Everyone ready? - Whoo! - Yes! On the count of three ALL: One.
Two.
Three.
Let go! (ALL CHEERING) Taking off into the stars Kids of the killer whale But are you listening to what I say? - Wow.
- Look at mine.
Whoa.
And does it really matter anyway? Where do they go? We're sending our wishes to the goddess who drank an elixir of immortality and now lives forever in the moon.
I meant the lanterns.
But cool story! We light the way It s who we are The brand new beginning Whoa.
What? The lanterns.
Whoa.
Stunning.
You have no idea.
Next, on Andi Mack That was great.
So I gather you're a guitar teacher? His guitar teacher.
Sean's got talent.
He needs the right teacher.
It sounds like thats you.
Guys! The Color Factory's in town.
- I'm in.
- Me too.
You know who'd also enjoy this? Walker.
I don't wanna be that friend that tells you what to do.
- I won't invite him.
- Great.
Walker.
What are you doing here? We need to talk.