Ashes To Ashes s03e02 Episode Script
Season 3, Episode 2
Who are you? Can you tell me what any of this means? I'm a bit of a superstitious person and I happen to agree with you, Alex.
You are back for a reason.
Gene Hunt is at the heart of this, you were right.
You fooled everyone into believing in you.
But I have the unpopular job of showing the world what you really are.
I know what you did.
Three years ago.
The things you've done, they won't want to believe it, but in the end, they will see.
Where is everybody? How much longer you going to be? Cos you're doing my head in! Sorry, love.
Got to drag this place into 1983.
Got one of your migraines, Shaz? Just shut up.
Who did this?Don't know, ma'am.
Right, this is CID, not the Radio One bloody roadshow! Listen up.
Keats is in today, wants to interview you all about the efficiency of the ship I run.
What are you looking at? Nothing.
'My name is Alex Drake.
'I was shot and found myself in 1983.
Is it real? Or in my mind? 'Either way, I have to solve the mystery of what all this means and fight to get home.
'Because time is running out.
' Have I got a treat for you, my friend.
In the interview room.
No, I've got to open the post.
Sod the post.
Come on, come on.
Look at the puppies on them! Who are they? I pulled them for speeding.
They were in Daddy's car so they're desperate for me to lose the paperwork.
I've got to go and open the post.
What is wrong with you? I'm talking a couple of hand jobs-here, minimum.
I don't want a hand-job.
What do you want?Love.
Look it up.
Pillow biter.
What?So did somebody get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Yes, they did.
Since D&C have taken such a keen interest in our progress, I now find myself with five times the paperwork.
You can't have five times nothing.
If I'd known about Driller Killer there, I wouldn't have opened a second bottle of whisky.
What is it? Sam Tyler.
I told you, Bolly, I'm not talking about it.
But why? I'm not asking you to be disloyal to his memory, I just Sam Tyler was a friend of mine.
Sam Tyler died.
End of.
It is not a subject for small talk.
I know how fond of him all of you were.
I just wanted to find out a little more about him.
How he died.
Are you deaf? Who put this on my desk? Who put this on my desk!? Shaz? What's the matter? Sorry, love.
I only put it down for a minute.
Oi! If you're riding the cotton pony, you can bloody go home and do it.
Don't be disgusting.
Shaz? Shaz? What's happened? Just leave me alone! What's wrong with her? Ever since you've stopped giving her one Right, sit down and do some bloody work! I've got D&C coming down on me like a ton of bricks and all you bastards can do is bicker like girls.
It stops now.
Right, can we just have five minutes peace and quiet while I feed my hangover a small Scotch? Thank you.
What the Guv!Christopher! Looks like you got your hand-job after all, mate.
I'd say a young woman, between her late teens and late twenties.
No rings.
When did she die? About three days ago.
It's just starting to decompose.
Oh, good, it's not my aftershave, then.
Was the hand removed pre or post-mortem? Post.
But only by an hour or so.
Anything under the fingernails? What's your guess at the instrument used?Hard to say.
Very sharp blade.
Not hacked.
Right, all done? I've probably got 18 forms to fill in about this.
There was one interesting thing.
What? You see the raised welt on the palm? Like a burn.
That's precisely what it is.
Like she's been branded.
Shaz, get me the missing person reports for the last week.
We need to ID that hand.
You two, look over the unsolved murder files of young women over the past two years.
Pay special attention to the mortuary reports and photographs.
I've got arrest forms to fill in.
I'll get to it later.
You'll get to it now.
You can't pull rank on me, Alex.
Not any more.
I'm telling you, Bolly, this is a one-off.
I'm not so sure.
Branding a victim is a very specific psychological trigger.
If they've killed before, they could have left the same on other bodies, a calling-card that wasn't being looked for before.
I don't buy it.
If this nutter has done this before, why haven't we been sent body parts before? Maybe his situation's changed and he wants us to know.
If we don't pick up on this clue, he might feel the need to send us another one.
Another murder? An interesting theory.
Sorry.
Not my case.
Sorry.
Can we be of assistance, James? Just continuing my interviews.
DI Carling, please.
Ma'am?Yes, Chris? It's Shaz.
She's not been herself these last few days.
What's the matter with her? No idea.
Have you asked? She won't give me the time of day.
All right, I'll have a word.
Thanks, ma'am.
Chris? You were friends with Sam Tyler, weren't you? Not sure about "friends".
He was more of a mentor, really.
An amazing bloke.
Were you there when they found his car in the river?No.
The blaggers split up and so did we.
It was the Guv and Ray who found his car.
Right.
Thanks.
Why do you ask?No reason.
Ma'am? I think I might have something.
Look under her left arm.
It's a crescent.
Her name's Fiona Day.
They found her body in a shallow grave in Hoxton.
Shaz, who was the investigating officer? The investigating officer was Gene Hunt.
It's not much, but it's home.
It's hotter than a Majorcan minge in here! Sorry.
Poor blood circulation.
Tell me about leaving Manchester.
When we came down south with the Guv, we didn't know what we'd find.
I'm not saying we played it completely by the book.
I'm glad you're not saying that.
But we created something special down here.
We're a team.
Drake?Yeah.
Even she has her moments.
Your loyalty does you credit.
It's not loyalty, it's the truth.
Listen, Ray, I haven't come here to bury Fenchurch East or Gene Hunt.
Just tell your mates that I'm just a man trying to do a difficult job.
If they help me, I think I can make it work.
All right? Fiona Day.
You didn't find a single suspect? There was an ex-husband, but he was as devastated as anyone, had a cast-iron alibi.
I found nothing.
Except for the mark under her arm.
That wasn't brought to my attention.
I went to her funeral.
You went to a victim's funeral? I felt I'd let her down, Bolly.
Still do.
There must be some connection.
Take it wide.
Get in touch with every force in the country, tell them to dig out their old pathology reports.
Guv.
'The first beetles to arrive are males.
'They use the dung to attract a mate.
'The bigger your ball, the better your chances' 'What "T" can be used as an occupational name and a given name for both genders?''Tyler.
'Meaning door keeper of an inn.
' 'What "M" means to kill with premeditation?' 'Murder.
''Speak up, please, Sharon.
' 'MURDER! MURDER!' So that's six young women murdered over a three year period.
Each of them branded somewhere with the shape of a crescent.
I can't believe nobody picked up on it.
Nobody was looking for them.
What connects the cities? There's London, obviously.
Bristol, Sheffield, Norwich and Newcastle.
They've all got crap football teams.
Maybe the killer was a travelling salesman.
Maybe he's covering his tracks, keeping it arbitrary.
I don't believe in "arbitrary".
There's a sequence, a pattern, we just haven't found it yet.
So what about the girls? They're all dark-haired, slim.
Turning tricks? No evidence that they were.
The only thing that really links these girls is their death.
There must be something else that links them.
Social club? Don't think so.
Each victim was buried in a shallow grave on waste ground.
And the branding.
What's that all about? Forensics said that the edges were quite defined, you know, like the brand wasn't homemade.
Chris, the package the hand was in? Sent from a post office six streets away.
No fit on the handwriting.
Nobody has a thought about anything else until we nail this.
There's a pattern here.
We find it.
When are we at our most vulnerable? Ray? I'm never vulnerable.
When we're in love? When we're just out of love, Bolly.
When we're feeling scared and we think we're going to spend the rest of our lives on our own.
Who are we talking about here? Fiona Day was recently divorced.
Friends said she was devastated over the failure of her marriage, she feared loneliness, and was hoping for a fresh start.
Debbie Saunders, divorced two years.
Nelly Jones, divorcee.
Martha Davis, divorcee.
I still don't see how this helps us.
You're a scummy sort of guy, Ray.
I beg your pardon?! Where do you go to meet women? Same places as most blokes do.
Bus stations, pubs, art galleries.
Art galleries? Scientifically proven.
Lonely birds love art.
Ray Where else? I don't know.
And I refute the insinuation that you Where else? Dating agencies.
I mean, so I've heard.
They're popping up all over the place for men to meet women.
So I've heard.
Shaz.
Where's that Cosmo you were reading? Oi! If you don't stop whistling, I'll rip your lips off.
There was an article about it.
You haven't been to one? Of course not.
They're for sad losers, those kind of places.
And the lonely and the vulnerable.
I read that article on female circumcision, Ma'am.
Very interesting.
Here it is The Crescent Moon Dating Agency.
Founded by Elaine Downing.
She sets up new branches, gets them up and running, then franchises them out.
What sort of sad bastard uses an agency like that? Sad bastards like Ray, I reckon.
I have not used a dating agency! If you suggest that one more time, I'll kick your arse! You'll have to kick mine first.
It lists the agency's offices.
Hoxton, Bristol, Sheffield, Norwich, Newcastle.
A new one has just opened up in Fenchurch a couple of months ago.
Let's go and hang her upside down and see if any murderers fall out.
You can't go in there like a bull in a china shop, we'll scare our killer off.
I've got a feeling he's about to kill again.
Maybe he'll choose a woman from this Fenchurch branch.
Your alternative is? Well, I could go in as bait.
Pretend I'm a lonely woman looking for love.
No change there, then.
No, I don't like it.
It would impress the hell out of Keats.
I could have got the bus.
Quite happily have got the bus.
Fenchurch East has got a comparatively poor clean-up rate.
How do you feel about that, Chris? It's only because we don't fill in the paperwork half the time.
The Guv says we were put on this earth to catch bad people, not to push pens.
Nothing wrong with pens.
Would you say all your arrests have been above-board and legal? Define "legal".
Created by, permitted by, in conformity with, or relating to the law.
Yes.
Well I suppose technically.
I see you've put down on your assessment form that you're ambitious.
I think I am, yes.
Only you've been with DCI Hunt for some years now.
Isn't it time you got out from his shadow, spread your wings a bit? I guess I'm not an ambitious man, then.
I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be than in the Guv's shadow.
I wish I could say the same about a senior officer.
I envy you.
Doesn't look much, does it? I'm not sure about you doing this on your own, Bols.
What are you doing? Trying to look plain and a little desperate.
What do you think? Just don't get yourself killed.
Wouldn't play well with our Jimbo Keats, eh? Well, I'll try not to.
Fabulous puppies.
Steady on, mate, she's been dead two years.
Not her.
The twins.
Come on, me and you, double date, what do you say?I don't know.
Shaz? What? Nothing.
You don't mind if Chris starts going out on dates again, do you? Nothing to do with me Moves on.
Rediscovers his mojo.
All right, all right.
Puts his face between two big, lovely funbags and goes Like I said, it's nothing to do with me.
I'll give them a ring.
So all you need to do is fill out this form so that we can learn some of your likes and dislikes.
I'll then circulate your details to any of our gentlemen that I think might be of interest to you.
Is it safe? It is, as long as you're sensible.
Meet in a busy public place, tell a friend where you're going Have any of your dates ever gone wrong?You're a very attractive woman, Ms Winslet.
Call me Kate.
I don't suppose you've had any trouble finding gentlemen.
It's finding the right one that seems to be the problem.
My husband and I were divorced last year.
Sorry to hear that.
Do you think that might be a problem with any of your gentlemen? You know the stigma that's attached to being a divorcee.
Can I help you? I'm looking for love.
You got any? I'm not seeing a kids' film.
It's not a kids' film.
Alec Guinness is in it.
Oh aye, and what's the name of his character? Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi.
We, my friend, are going to go and see The Hunger.
Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon in a sci-fi lesbian romp.
D'you fancy the flicks, Shaz? No, thank you.
Drink? Why did you have to come crashing in like that? I was just getting somewhere with her.
I'm not letting you take all the glory with Little Jimmy.
You can't stand not being in control, can you? You know, you presuppose that the killer is a man.
Well, what if I manage to flush out that the killer is a woman? Control freak.
What did you put for Favourite Meal? It's personal.
It's a police investigation.
I once had the most amazing roast foie gras with gooseberry, braised Konbu and crab biscuit.
What did you put?Steak and chips.
Favourite Artist? Herb Alpert and His Tijuana Brass.
Herb Alpert?! Yes, women love it.
Reminds them of sun and sea, and getting poked behind an electricity substation in Torremolinos.
What did you put? Georges Braque.
You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin this side of the Blackwall Tunnel.
At least I'll get some replies.
"Favourite Drink - bitter, but only from central Manchester.
Favourite Film - High Noon.
"Most Admired Person - Winston Churchill.
"Philosophy On The Opposite Sex - Maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom.
" Women admire honesty, Bols.
You know how many replies you're going to get, don't you? None.
I'm just off home, Guv.
Bye, Shaz.
What's the matter with that girl? "Favourite Film - Thelma & Louise.
" Never heard of it.
Not out yet.
"Favourite drink - Sauvignon Blanc, but only from the South Island of New Zealand.
" Where does Shaz live? No idea, never asked her.
And I've told you more than once, Bolly, Nelson Mandela is a terrorist.
You following me? I don't know what's up with me, Ma'am.
I just I know I'm letting the team down.
You're not letting anyone down, Shaz, we're just worried about you.
You're not your usual happy, battling self.
I know I'm not.
Is everything all right at home? Yeah.
Is it Chris? I miss Chris a bit, I guess.
But I know it's right we're not together.
So what is it? I think it might be the police force.
The police?All I'd ever wanted to be was a copper and I was so proud when I made it.
Shaz, you're such a good cop.
You're getting better by the day.
I just don't feel I belong, Ma'am, if truth be told.
Of course you do.
You're amazing.
You take all their insults and sarcasms and you turn that into energy.
I just don't know how to do that.
Deep down, at the end of the day, we all want the same thing.
We want a strong CID.
I think you lot would be better off without me.
No, Shaz.
And I think I might be a lot happier without you lot, too.
Well, we'll keep talking.
Goodnight again, Shaz.
Night.
Oh, and Ma'am? You're rubbish at following people.
Why not pull out the questionnaires the dead girls filled in? Because I don't want anyone getting wind that we're close to this man.
Chris? If you weren't at the scene of Sam's disappearanceI wasn't, Ma'amWho took this? Don't know who took it, Ma'am.
It wasn't me.
Probably Ray.
Ma'am? This is Colin Danson.
His wife, Sandie, has been missing for three days.
Estranged wife.
She pissed off a month ago and left me with the kids.
You can help him fill in the paperwork, can't you, Viv? Mr Danson got a phone call from his wife's bank this morning, he's her next of kin.
They hadn't been able to contact her about a recent series of odd payments.
Well, what was odd about the payments?They were mostly for alcohol and betting shops.
She don't drink, she don't gamble.
Mr Danson got an invoice in the post, addressed to his wife.
I've been to her flat.
She wasn't there, hasn't been for days.
My kids are worried sick.
Who was the invoice from? Crescent Moon Dating Agency.
Oh, I loved that bit when Susan Sarandon was slurping on Catherine thingy's titty.
Ray.
What?Please, shut up.
I spoke to the woman who runs the off-licence.
Every day at the same time, a man goes in to buy the shopping for his sick mum, uses a chequebook signed "Mrs Danson".
What, you really think he's our man? I'm sure of t.
She said if he comes in today, she's going to draw the blind.
I've been looking forward to this moment for years.
He's dangerous.
He wants us to catch him, but not before he's played out his sick little game.
He's going to fight like a cornered wildcat.
Good.
I like a bit of sport.
Guv, there's the blind, that's the signal!Let's go! Who the hell are you? Don't shoot me! Please! I don't know anything! Shut it.
Are you a killer, Harris? No, Mr Hunt! Are you a dishonest little scrotum who has been buying shit lager with someone else's chequebook? Yes, Mr Hunt.
Where did you get the chequebook? I can't remember, it all looks the same.
Is this strictly necessary?No, but it's bloody good fun, though.
Over there! Don't move.
Here's a fire.
There are always fires in shitholes like this.
Guv? Oh, my What else did you find? Just the purse.
Honest! Oh, my God! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of this Sandie Danson's driving licence.
Right, that's the last play of his game, Bolly.
I want him.
Well, it's obviously going to take too long to check through all these replies in turn.
How many replies did you get, Guv? That is not germane to this investigation.
It's true that we're a little bit short on female replies, so I'd like all of you to round up any female friends you may have.
I could give the twins a call.
Why women who are nothing to do with the investigation? I am about to invent speed-dating.
What?It's very simple.
The agency tells its clients they are about to hold a divorcee evening, a social event.
Grab-A-Granny?We need a bunch of single women as well, so they don't get suspicious.
Everybody has five minutes with each other, then move on.
And they said romance was dead.
That's how to trap the killer? With this speed-dating thing?Exactly.
We're looking for a man who preys on newly-divorced women, who travels up and down the country for work.
And if he's there, I'll spot him.
I think it sounds stupid.
I don't recall asking for your opinion, Shaz.
This is an absolute outrage! When my clients sign up, I promise them absolute confidentiality.
I'm not going to have them duped and deceived in this way.
Ray? What are you doing here? I work here.
Not that I know who you are.
But you said you were a soldier.
Right, moving on One of your clients is a murderer, the rest are losers and tossers.
Your point is? My point is, I forbid it.
If you carry on with this farce, I will personally ring up every single one of my gentlemen and warn them off.
All they're guilty of is looking for love.
Love? This isn't about love.
No, no, there are no pink fluffy cushions, there are no chubby little angels firing bows and arrows.
This is murder.
Well, I don't believe it.
My gentlemen are honest, they would not do a thing like Here's what one of your lovely gentlemen did.
Lust and filth.
That's what you're selling.
For historical reasons, British trains have a much smaller loading gauge than European or American trains.
I never knew that.
Funnily enough, I was on a train the other day, Ronnie, to Norwich.
Have you ever been to Norwich?Once.
My second husband was called Terry.
Sweet enough bloke, but thick as a fence post.
Why did you marry him, then? He was hung like something off the beach at Weston Super Mare.
There must be one little area of your bodies that's not quite the same?Wouldn't you like to know? Yes, I would.
I really would.
Do you like football?No.
Is DCI Hunt married? There was a Mrs Hunt once, I believe.
Poor, poor woman! Now he's only married to his job.
HE RINGS BELL All change! You're working late.
They're all down at Luigi's at this dating thing.
I didn't feel well enough to go.
Sorry to hear that.
Why did you join the police force, Sharon? To make a difference.
Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Not to me.
I had big dreams.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, being a woman and everything, but I thought if I put my head down and worked really hard Well, the police force is changing, women will increasingly hold sway.
I mean, look at Alex Drake.
I do.
She's the most amazing woman I've ever met.
She's also the one that's got me thinking, maybe this job ain't for me.
Because you can't compete with her? Not with any of them.
I just don't think I'm cut out to do this for the rest of my life.
I'm not strong enough.
What would DCI Hunt say to that? He wouldn't understand.
He's as brave as a lion and he don't have time for anyone who ain't.
Do you know what I think, Sharon? I think it takes enormous courage to realise you might have taken a wrong turn.
That maybe this job isn't for you.
Do you think I should leave the force, Sir? I think you know exactly what you should do.
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
My fourth husband is a lovely man.
Dotes on me.
Worships me.
So why are you here?He's dead.
But he's still here with me in spirit, wants me to be happy.
Weren't we meant to swop? Nobody sat in your chair, darlin', did they? Only me.
I'm sat in your chair, babes.
I'm sure this is not what you're meant to do, but They're lovely.
I suppose that's the one saving grace about my divorce, that there weren't any children involved.
Actually, I'm not divorced.
Their mum died.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Ray's a top bloke.
He's my best mate, brilliant copper.
If you don't want to talk to me, just say.
What's the most unusual place a bloke's ever made love to you? Probably my bottom.
It's unconventional, I'll say that.
She's quite a woman, your Alex Drake.
Why don't you go and talk to her, Sir? I'll be fine here.
Don't be silly.
She doesn't bite.
All change again, please! Sir? My name's Jim and I've been looking for love in all the wrong places.
My knickers are in my handbag.
What do you say to that? Herb Alpert and His Tijuana Brass.
When this is over, why don't we nip upstairs and have a game of cards? Upstairs?A mate of ours has a flat above the restaurant.
Do you think he'd mind? It's a she.
Looks like she's a little busy at the minute.
So how's about it? I think I'm going to go home, Luigi.
No, stay, lovely Shaz.
On the house.
I just don't feel a part of it any more.
Music, I like Elvis Costello, Philip Glass, Mahler.
I love Mahler.
The Adagiato from his Fifth Symphony.
I love it.
Luigi! If you don't ring that bloody bell I will ring it for you! BELL RINGS All change again, please.
So, tell me again is it Aces high or low? High! Well, that went well.
I've just spent a precious evening with a bunch of sluts and losers.
He wasn't here.
No, but he might have been.
No, he wasn't.
No pattern, no response to my questions.
I'm going home now.
Goodnight.
Nothing jumped out to you, did it, Elaine? No.
Look, I can't tell you how sorry I am that my agency has been involved in these terrible crimes.
I hope you find the person that killed these women.
Oh, I will.
the only dates he'll be going on are with a very large man called Bubba and a tub of prison margarine.
Has it poisoned you, all this, Mr Hunt? Oh, go back to fluffyville, lady.
There is love in this world.
People find it every day.
I'm a police officer! You're all under arrest! Put down your weapons! What you gonna do, babe?I'll say it again, I'm a police officer! Put down your weapons! Cut her! Stick the bitch! Make the pig squeal! Run, little piggy girl, run before I cut you! 'Murder, murder!' What we have to ask ourselves is why now? Some of the murder victims go back a couple of years or more, but we received no severed limbs.
So why now?You should have stuck around last night.
Twintastic! Last time we tried this, I ended up dating the world's biggest trollop.
I'm running out of patience, Bolly.
Andour alternative is what? I think DI Drake is right.
Find your own case, Keats.
Why now? Maybe he wants fame?Ted Bundy.
Jeffrey Dahmer.
Carry on.
If he wants fame, why can't he top himself on a Wogan show? Because he's enjoying making a fool of you.
Still doesn't explain why now? He left giveaway marks on the bodies.
Which were missed.
Are we keeping you from your fetid office, DCI Keats? Maybe he's using the hand as a bigger clue?It's possible.
Maybe he's using the hand to accelerate the game.
But why?Maybe he's sick? Get away.
Physically sick? Maybe he's dying.
He can't wait for us to put the clues together so he had to help.
Exactly.
He'll kill again.
Is this a private game or can we all join in? - He wants an easy life in prison? - He wants glory.
Get me the medical records of all Crescent Moon's clients.
Every city? We get to their GPs, find out if anything has changed recently in their medical situation.
Will somebody please sort that noise out! I'm only going to say this once, and I'd like you all to respect my decision and not to try to talk to me about it or try and talk me out of it.
- Shaz? - Especially you, Chris.
I've thought long and hard about this, I've spoken to senior officers, and I'm resigning from the Metropolitan Police.
No questions, no arguments, I've made my decision.
Obviously, I'll work out my notice.
For you, Ma'am.
You ordered it from Manchester.
Thanks, Viv.
Hang on a second, here's something.
What is it?This bloke was told he had terminal cancer two months ago.
Let me see.
That's McLean.
I met him speed-dating.
He was a widower, two kids.
Can't be.
Oldest trick in the book.
"The wife's just died, I'm bringing up two kids on my own.
" Then your ankles are behind your ears.
Looks like you've been stitched up like a kipper, Bolly.
Little shit.
Let's get him! I know your professional pride is Piqued? Trampled on like a dead rat.
But one gloomy prognosis by a doctor doesn't make a case.
We need evidence.
See if he's got a record.
I could go in as bait again.
No, he's already seen you.
He liked them young.
I am young, you rude git! Young, divorced and dark-haired.
I'm not going to try and talk you out of leaving, Shaz.
I don't know why you want to leave, it makes no sense to me, but you're my colleague.
You said ask no questions, so no questions will be asked.
Thank you, Sir.
All I do ask of you is that you go out in a blaze of glory.
Make me proud of you.
I know what you want me to do.
Believe me, if I thought I was capable of doing it, I wouldn't be leaving.
Shaz, all over this country, there are women lying in unmarked graves.
It's our job and responsibility to stop this bastard from killing again.
Please don't ask me.
I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it.
SHE SOBS And then no more? Then no more.
I give you my word.
So how does it work? I sent out your details to McLean, as I normally would send out a new client.
I said that there was a lot of interest, so if he hadn't phoned back by three, then You know those twins? Almost identical.
But not quite.
He'll phone back and then I'll tell him I'll forward his details on to you.
It'll be your choice when and where you meet him.
You didn't go anywhere near those twins, did you, Ray? Yeah, I did!No, you didn't.
You stroke that tache when you're lying.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
You don't have to do this, not if you don't want to.
It'll be the last thing I do.
Don't say that.
PHONE RINGS Crescent Moon Dating Agency, Elaine speaking, How can I help you? Mr McLean, how nice to hear from you.
Yes, yes, I think I can remember the young lady, she's new on our books.
Sharon.
Delightful young lady.
Yes, I'll be only too happy to pass your enquiry on to her.
I hope she responds.
You're very welcome.
This is wrong.
She's clearly not in the right frame of mind.
Say something to the Guv, then.
I will.
I bloody will.
Yeah, right.
Anything yet?Chris wants to say something.
What? Nothing.
You never stand up to authority.
You twat.
You never got anywhere near those twins.
Saddo.
Did.
Didn't.
Shaz is on the line here.
She's got some balls, I'll give her that.
One of us should be there.
Too risky.
Sharon?Yeah?Graham.
'Oh, hello.
I'm Sharon.
' 'Yeah.
You said.
' Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
Thank you.
Me, too.
My wife died two years ago.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
You're probably not meant to do this, but They're lovely.
They said they didn't want their daddy being lonely forever.
'So here I am.
'What a scumbag.
'What about you, Sharon? You're obviously a very attractive woman.
' I'm a bit surprised you're using a dating agency.
I've been out with guys my own age.
I found them a bit inadequate, to be honest.
'Where are my manners? Can I buy you a drink?''Please, I'll have Bacardi and Coke.
' Thank you.
Actually, I've got a better idea No, forget it, forget it, sorry, new at this, it's against the rules.
What? Well, it's just that there is the most lovely moon out tonight, and, well, I know this view of the Thames.
Don't do it, Shaz, stay in the pub.
It's just that Elaine said I should always stay around other people.
Especially on the first date.
Quite right, too.
Bacardi and Coke.
But I do like a nice view.
Oh, Shaz! I'm going in!Stay where you are! Shaz is in charge.
It's dangerous.
She's a police officer, it's meant to be dangerous.
Tell me about your wife.
My wife? That's a strange question.
'Sorry.
' - 'Where are we now?' - 'Short cut.
' - 'Are you cold?' - 'No.
' 'I'll make us a little fire.
' Careful, Shaz.
- 'What about the view?' - 'Women feel cold more than men.
' Women need warmth.
What a nutter.
Just get him to talk.
This will end badly, I know it.
There's wasteland to the south.
With the same pattern,he'll be Like a needle in a haystack! There'll be a fire.
Let him confess! You asked about my wife.
Maybe we should get back.
She was a slut, Sharon.
Told me she loved me.
Told me she wanted my kids.
A slut and a liar.
She is dead, though? Lives in Aberdeen, amounts to the same thing.
HE LAUGHS There's a restraining order against me.
I see.
Do you? Do you see? Do you know where she met her gingery Scotsman? The father of her little ginger children? No.
A dating agency.
I was working all hours and that slut was meeting men through a dating agency.
You don't know where she is! 'What do you do for a living?' I manage a supermarket.
You don't travel round the country? No.
I don't believe you! I think you've been to Bristol and Norwich.
That's a lie.
You said you had a dead wife and lovely kids! - Are you a slut, Sharon? - No.
I think you are.
What's that? It's just the moon.
Pretty, isn't it? 'Used to be on a necklace that he gave to my wife.
' It's a romantic present, because they met at this dating agency.
What did you do to the girls you met? - You're a very pretty slut, Sharon.
- I told you, I'm not a slut! Go!'Is this what you did with the other girls before you killed them?' Do you want to know the irony of all this, right?! That bitch lives in ginger happiness and me I've got cancer, Sharon.
Yeah! Eating away at me.
Killing me softly.
Sluts Sluts have to be branded, Sharon.
Like cattle.
Then, like cattle, they get slaughtered.
Stop moving! HER SCREAMS CONTINUE You see, you can't touch me, nobody can, cos you see, I die of cancer in a prison cell, or I die of cancer as a free man.
You can't touch me, Sharon.
Mwah! But I can certainly touch you.
Shaz!Shazza!Shaz! Shazza! Hang on! I heard something.
Over there.
Get an ambulance! He needs help or he'll die and he's got to confess! Shaz come here, baby.
Let go of me! It's over, it's all right.
Drake.
Drake Get to the bar.
Can I just say? Order! Order! Come on.
Can I just say, that I might not have been the greatest supporter of women in the police force.
It's not my fault I've got an illness with a posh name.
What is it?Misogyny.
THE MEN: Oooh! But what Shaz did tonight was incredible.
And I for one am very proud to be a colleague of yours.
Now, go and make my dinner! LAUGHTER AND CHEERING Whatever you do next, Shaz, I'm sure you'll be brilliant at it.
I hope I'll always know you.
Of course you will.
Right, Shaz, let's put an end to this leaving nonsense.
Guv! You promised you wouldn't mention it.
I lied.
It's long been an ambition of mine to see you out of your uniform.
Guv! No, out of THE uniform.
What I'm trying to say is, if you keep up this quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas.
You can't be serious? When I'm notbeing serious, I have lovely crinkly lines at theside of my eyes.
Crows feet, Guv.
Thank you, Christopher.
What do you say, Granger? I say yes.
DAVID BOWIE'S "Life On Mars" PLAYS BRIEFLY To Shaz, everybody! ALL: To Shaz.
To Shaz! Quite the showman.
He has his moments.
You did well, Alex.
Really well.
We all did.
We're a team.
A team.
I hear you've been in touch with Manchester.
There were some files I was interested in.
Sam Tyler's files?Yeah.
You think he killed him, don't you? I think who killed him? I don'tknow what you're talking about.
I think he did, too.
Guv.
I heardwhat happened.
You did a fine thing.
As far as I'm concerned,he can die in a nice,warm cell in prison.
If you ever want a date, Mr Hunt .
.
call me.
How did you do that? Well, Raymondo you've eithergot it, my friend, or you haven't.
To Shaz! You know, we make a good team, Bolly.
Posh totty and a bit of rough.
Uptown girl, downtown man.
Look at Shaz - she's blooming.
One thing, though.
Team's sticktogether through thick and thin.
I know.
They don't go behind yourback digging up old files.
Old files that arebetter left well alone.
Guv You see, Keats and people like him, they want to take us down, Alex.
So no matter what he says don't help him.
Sorry to be a party pooper, but I'm here a wee bit longer.
I'll build up a profile of the efficiency of this department.
Let's just call it snooping.
Manchester's been on.
Do you want anything else on the Sam Tyler case? No, I'm fine.
Thanks, Shaz.
These are cases dating back to 1980 All your grubby little secrets and malpractices waiting to be uncovered.
I'm going to unearth you, Hunt.
Stars? Why stars?
You are back for a reason.
Gene Hunt is at the heart of this, you were right.
You fooled everyone into believing in you.
But I have the unpopular job of showing the world what you really are.
I know what you did.
Three years ago.
The things you've done, they won't want to believe it, but in the end, they will see.
Where is everybody? How much longer you going to be? Cos you're doing my head in! Sorry, love.
Got to drag this place into 1983.
Got one of your migraines, Shaz? Just shut up.
Who did this?Don't know, ma'am.
Right, this is CID, not the Radio One bloody roadshow! Listen up.
Keats is in today, wants to interview you all about the efficiency of the ship I run.
What are you looking at? Nothing.
'My name is Alex Drake.
'I was shot and found myself in 1983.
Is it real? Or in my mind? 'Either way, I have to solve the mystery of what all this means and fight to get home.
'Because time is running out.
' Have I got a treat for you, my friend.
In the interview room.
No, I've got to open the post.
Sod the post.
Come on, come on.
Look at the puppies on them! Who are they? I pulled them for speeding.
They were in Daddy's car so they're desperate for me to lose the paperwork.
I've got to go and open the post.
What is wrong with you? I'm talking a couple of hand jobs-here, minimum.
I don't want a hand-job.
What do you want?Love.
Look it up.
Pillow biter.
What?So did somebody get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Yes, they did.
Since D&C have taken such a keen interest in our progress, I now find myself with five times the paperwork.
You can't have five times nothing.
If I'd known about Driller Killer there, I wouldn't have opened a second bottle of whisky.
What is it? Sam Tyler.
I told you, Bolly, I'm not talking about it.
But why? I'm not asking you to be disloyal to his memory, I just Sam Tyler was a friend of mine.
Sam Tyler died.
End of.
It is not a subject for small talk.
I know how fond of him all of you were.
I just wanted to find out a little more about him.
How he died.
Are you deaf? Who put this on my desk? Who put this on my desk!? Shaz? What's the matter? Sorry, love.
I only put it down for a minute.
Oi! If you're riding the cotton pony, you can bloody go home and do it.
Don't be disgusting.
Shaz? Shaz? What's happened? Just leave me alone! What's wrong with her? Ever since you've stopped giving her one Right, sit down and do some bloody work! I've got D&C coming down on me like a ton of bricks and all you bastards can do is bicker like girls.
It stops now.
Right, can we just have five minutes peace and quiet while I feed my hangover a small Scotch? Thank you.
What the Guv!Christopher! Looks like you got your hand-job after all, mate.
I'd say a young woman, between her late teens and late twenties.
No rings.
When did she die? About three days ago.
It's just starting to decompose.
Oh, good, it's not my aftershave, then.
Was the hand removed pre or post-mortem? Post.
But only by an hour or so.
Anything under the fingernails? What's your guess at the instrument used?Hard to say.
Very sharp blade.
Not hacked.
Right, all done? I've probably got 18 forms to fill in about this.
There was one interesting thing.
What? You see the raised welt on the palm? Like a burn.
That's precisely what it is.
Like she's been branded.
Shaz, get me the missing person reports for the last week.
We need to ID that hand.
You two, look over the unsolved murder files of young women over the past two years.
Pay special attention to the mortuary reports and photographs.
I've got arrest forms to fill in.
I'll get to it later.
You'll get to it now.
You can't pull rank on me, Alex.
Not any more.
I'm telling you, Bolly, this is a one-off.
I'm not so sure.
Branding a victim is a very specific psychological trigger.
If they've killed before, they could have left the same on other bodies, a calling-card that wasn't being looked for before.
I don't buy it.
If this nutter has done this before, why haven't we been sent body parts before? Maybe his situation's changed and he wants us to know.
If we don't pick up on this clue, he might feel the need to send us another one.
Another murder? An interesting theory.
Sorry.
Not my case.
Sorry.
Can we be of assistance, James? Just continuing my interviews.
DI Carling, please.
Ma'am?Yes, Chris? It's Shaz.
She's not been herself these last few days.
What's the matter with her? No idea.
Have you asked? She won't give me the time of day.
All right, I'll have a word.
Thanks, ma'am.
Chris? You were friends with Sam Tyler, weren't you? Not sure about "friends".
He was more of a mentor, really.
An amazing bloke.
Were you there when they found his car in the river?No.
The blaggers split up and so did we.
It was the Guv and Ray who found his car.
Right.
Thanks.
Why do you ask?No reason.
Ma'am? I think I might have something.
Look under her left arm.
It's a crescent.
Her name's Fiona Day.
They found her body in a shallow grave in Hoxton.
Shaz, who was the investigating officer? The investigating officer was Gene Hunt.
It's not much, but it's home.
It's hotter than a Majorcan minge in here! Sorry.
Poor blood circulation.
Tell me about leaving Manchester.
When we came down south with the Guv, we didn't know what we'd find.
I'm not saying we played it completely by the book.
I'm glad you're not saying that.
But we created something special down here.
We're a team.
Drake?Yeah.
Even she has her moments.
Your loyalty does you credit.
It's not loyalty, it's the truth.
Listen, Ray, I haven't come here to bury Fenchurch East or Gene Hunt.
Just tell your mates that I'm just a man trying to do a difficult job.
If they help me, I think I can make it work.
All right? Fiona Day.
You didn't find a single suspect? There was an ex-husband, but he was as devastated as anyone, had a cast-iron alibi.
I found nothing.
Except for the mark under her arm.
That wasn't brought to my attention.
I went to her funeral.
You went to a victim's funeral? I felt I'd let her down, Bolly.
Still do.
There must be some connection.
Take it wide.
Get in touch with every force in the country, tell them to dig out their old pathology reports.
Guv.
'The first beetles to arrive are males.
'They use the dung to attract a mate.
'The bigger your ball, the better your chances' 'What "T" can be used as an occupational name and a given name for both genders?''Tyler.
'Meaning door keeper of an inn.
' 'What "M" means to kill with premeditation?' 'Murder.
''Speak up, please, Sharon.
' 'MURDER! MURDER!' So that's six young women murdered over a three year period.
Each of them branded somewhere with the shape of a crescent.
I can't believe nobody picked up on it.
Nobody was looking for them.
What connects the cities? There's London, obviously.
Bristol, Sheffield, Norwich and Newcastle.
They've all got crap football teams.
Maybe the killer was a travelling salesman.
Maybe he's covering his tracks, keeping it arbitrary.
I don't believe in "arbitrary".
There's a sequence, a pattern, we just haven't found it yet.
So what about the girls? They're all dark-haired, slim.
Turning tricks? No evidence that they were.
The only thing that really links these girls is their death.
There must be something else that links them.
Social club? Don't think so.
Each victim was buried in a shallow grave on waste ground.
And the branding.
What's that all about? Forensics said that the edges were quite defined, you know, like the brand wasn't homemade.
Chris, the package the hand was in? Sent from a post office six streets away.
No fit on the handwriting.
Nobody has a thought about anything else until we nail this.
There's a pattern here.
We find it.
When are we at our most vulnerable? Ray? I'm never vulnerable.
When we're in love? When we're just out of love, Bolly.
When we're feeling scared and we think we're going to spend the rest of our lives on our own.
Who are we talking about here? Fiona Day was recently divorced.
Friends said she was devastated over the failure of her marriage, she feared loneliness, and was hoping for a fresh start.
Debbie Saunders, divorced two years.
Nelly Jones, divorcee.
Martha Davis, divorcee.
I still don't see how this helps us.
You're a scummy sort of guy, Ray.
I beg your pardon?! Where do you go to meet women? Same places as most blokes do.
Bus stations, pubs, art galleries.
Art galleries? Scientifically proven.
Lonely birds love art.
Ray Where else? I don't know.
And I refute the insinuation that you Where else? Dating agencies.
I mean, so I've heard.
They're popping up all over the place for men to meet women.
So I've heard.
Shaz.
Where's that Cosmo you were reading? Oi! If you don't stop whistling, I'll rip your lips off.
There was an article about it.
You haven't been to one? Of course not.
They're for sad losers, those kind of places.
And the lonely and the vulnerable.
I read that article on female circumcision, Ma'am.
Very interesting.
Here it is The Crescent Moon Dating Agency.
Founded by Elaine Downing.
She sets up new branches, gets them up and running, then franchises them out.
What sort of sad bastard uses an agency like that? Sad bastards like Ray, I reckon.
I have not used a dating agency! If you suggest that one more time, I'll kick your arse! You'll have to kick mine first.
It lists the agency's offices.
Hoxton, Bristol, Sheffield, Norwich, Newcastle.
A new one has just opened up in Fenchurch a couple of months ago.
Let's go and hang her upside down and see if any murderers fall out.
You can't go in there like a bull in a china shop, we'll scare our killer off.
I've got a feeling he's about to kill again.
Maybe he'll choose a woman from this Fenchurch branch.
Your alternative is? Well, I could go in as bait.
Pretend I'm a lonely woman looking for love.
No change there, then.
No, I don't like it.
It would impress the hell out of Keats.
I could have got the bus.
Quite happily have got the bus.
Fenchurch East has got a comparatively poor clean-up rate.
How do you feel about that, Chris? It's only because we don't fill in the paperwork half the time.
The Guv says we were put on this earth to catch bad people, not to push pens.
Nothing wrong with pens.
Would you say all your arrests have been above-board and legal? Define "legal".
Created by, permitted by, in conformity with, or relating to the law.
Yes.
Well I suppose technically.
I see you've put down on your assessment form that you're ambitious.
I think I am, yes.
Only you've been with DCI Hunt for some years now.
Isn't it time you got out from his shadow, spread your wings a bit? I guess I'm not an ambitious man, then.
I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be than in the Guv's shadow.
I wish I could say the same about a senior officer.
I envy you.
Doesn't look much, does it? I'm not sure about you doing this on your own, Bols.
What are you doing? Trying to look plain and a little desperate.
What do you think? Just don't get yourself killed.
Wouldn't play well with our Jimbo Keats, eh? Well, I'll try not to.
Fabulous puppies.
Steady on, mate, she's been dead two years.
Not her.
The twins.
Come on, me and you, double date, what do you say?I don't know.
Shaz? What? Nothing.
You don't mind if Chris starts going out on dates again, do you? Nothing to do with me Moves on.
Rediscovers his mojo.
All right, all right.
Puts his face between two big, lovely funbags and goes Like I said, it's nothing to do with me.
I'll give them a ring.
So all you need to do is fill out this form so that we can learn some of your likes and dislikes.
I'll then circulate your details to any of our gentlemen that I think might be of interest to you.
Is it safe? It is, as long as you're sensible.
Meet in a busy public place, tell a friend where you're going Have any of your dates ever gone wrong?You're a very attractive woman, Ms Winslet.
Call me Kate.
I don't suppose you've had any trouble finding gentlemen.
It's finding the right one that seems to be the problem.
My husband and I were divorced last year.
Sorry to hear that.
Do you think that might be a problem with any of your gentlemen? You know the stigma that's attached to being a divorcee.
Can I help you? I'm looking for love.
You got any? I'm not seeing a kids' film.
It's not a kids' film.
Alec Guinness is in it.
Oh aye, and what's the name of his character? Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi.
We, my friend, are going to go and see The Hunger.
Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon in a sci-fi lesbian romp.
D'you fancy the flicks, Shaz? No, thank you.
Drink? Why did you have to come crashing in like that? I was just getting somewhere with her.
I'm not letting you take all the glory with Little Jimmy.
You can't stand not being in control, can you? You know, you presuppose that the killer is a man.
Well, what if I manage to flush out that the killer is a woman? Control freak.
What did you put for Favourite Meal? It's personal.
It's a police investigation.
I once had the most amazing roast foie gras with gooseberry, braised Konbu and crab biscuit.
What did you put?Steak and chips.
Favourite Artist? Herb Alpert and His Tijuana Brass.
Herb Alpert?! Yes, women love it.
Reminds them of sun and sea, and getting poked behind an electricity substation in Torremolinos.
What did you put? Georges Braque.
You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin this side of the Blackwall Tunnel.
At least I'll get some replies.
"Favourite Drink - bitter, but only from central Manchester.
Favourite Film - High Noon.
"Most Admired Person - Winston Churchill.
"Philosophy On The Opposite Sex - Maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom.
" Women admire honesty, Bols.
You know how many replies you're going to get, don't you? None.
I'm just off home, Guv.
Bye, Shaz.
What's the matter with that girl? "Favourite Film - Thelma & Louise.
" Never heard of it.
Not out yet.
"Favourite drink - Sauvignon Blanc, but only from the South Island of New Zealand.
" Where does Shaz live? No idea, never asked her.
And I've told you more than once, Bolly, Nelson Mandela is a terrorist.
You following me? I don't know what's up with me, Ma'am.
I just I know I'm letting the team down.
You're not letting anyone down, Shaz, we're just worried about you.
You're not your usual happy, battling self.
I know I'm not.
Is everything all right at home? Yeah.
Is it Chris? I miss Chris a bit, I guess.
But I know it's right we're not together.
So what is it? I think it might be the police force.
The police?All I'd ever wanted to be was a copper and I was so proud when I made it.
Shaz, you're such a good cop.
You're getting better by the day.
I just don't feel I belong, Ma'am, if truth be told.
Of course you do.
You're amazing.
You take all their insults and sarcasms and you turn that into energy.
I just don't know how to do that.
Deep down, at the end of the day, we all want the same thing.
We want a strong CID.
I think you lot would be better off without me.
No, Shaz.
And I think I might be a lot happier without you lot, too.
Well, we'll keep talking.
Goodnight again, Shaz.
Night.
Oh, and Ma'am? You're rubbish at following people.
Why not pull out the questionnaires the dead girls filled in? Because I don't want anyone getting wind that we're close to this man.
Chris? If you weren't at the scene of Sam's disappearanceI wasn't, Ma'amWho took this? Don't know who took it, Ma'am.
It wasn't me.
Probably Ray.
Ma'am? This is Colin Danson.
His wife, Sandie, has been missing for three days.
Estranged wife.
She pissed off a month ago and left me with the kids.
You can help him fill in the paperwork, can't you, Viv? Mr Danson got a phone call from his wife's bank this morning, he's her next of kin.
They hadn't been able to contact her about a recent series of odd payments.
Well, what was odd about the payments?They were mostly for alcohol and betting shops.
She don't drink, she don't gamble.
Mr Danson got an invoice in the post, addressed to his wife.
I've been to her flat.
She wasn't there, hasn't been for days.
My kids are worried sick.
Who was the invoice from? Crescent Moon Dating Agency.
Oh, I loved that bit when Susan Sarandon was slurping on Catherine thingy's titty.
Ray.
What?Please, shut up.
I spoke to the woman who runs the off-licence.
Every day at the same time, a man goes in to buy the shopping for his sick mum, uses a chequebook signed "Mrs Danson".
What, you really think he's our man? I'm sure of t.
She said if he comes in today, she's going to draw the blind.
I've been looking forward to this moment for years.
He's dangerous.
He wants us to catch him, but not before he's played out his sick little game.
He's going to fight like a cornered wildcat.
Good.
I like a bit of sport.
Guv, there's the blind, that's the signal!Let's go! Who the hell are you? Don't shoot me! Please! I don't know anything! Shut it.
Are you a killer, Harris? No, Mr Hunt! Are you a dishonest little scrotum who has been buying shit lager with someone else's chequebook? Yes, Mr Hunt.
Where did you get the chequebook? I can't remember, it all looks the same.
Is this strictly necessary?No, but it's bloody good fun, though.
Over there! Don't move.
Here's a fire.
There are always fires in shitholes like this.
Guv? Oh, my What else did you find? Just the purse.
Honest! Oh, my God! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of this Sandie Danson's driving licence.
Right, that's the last play of his game, Bolly.
I want him.
Well, it's obviously going to take too long to check through all these replies in turn.
How many replies did you get, Guv? That is not germane to this investigation.
It's true that we're a little bit short on female replies, so I'd like all of you to round up any female friends you may have.
I could give the twins a call.
Why women who are nothing to do with the investigation? I am about to invent speed-dating.
What?It's very simple.
The agency tells its clients they are about to hold a divorcee evening, a social event.
Grab-A-Granny?We need a bunch of single women as well, so they don't get suspicious.
Everybody has five minutes with each other, then move on.
And they said romance was dead.
That's how to trap the killer? With this speed-dating thing?Exactly.
We're looking for a man who preys on newly-divorced women, who travels up and down the country for work.
And if he's there, I'll spot him.
I think it sounds stupid.
I don't recall asking for your opinion, Shaz.
This is an absolute outrage! When my clients sign up, I promise them absolute confidentiality.
I'm not going to have them duped and deceived in this way.
Ray? What are you doing here? I work here.
Not that I know who you are.
But you said you were a soldier.
Right, moving on One of your clients is a murderer, the rest are losers and tossers.
Your point is? My point is, I forbid it.
If you carry on with this farce, I will personally ring up every single one of my gentlemen and warn them off.
All they're guilty of is looking for love.
Love? This isn't about love.
No, no, there are no pink fluffy cushions, there are no chubby little angels firing bows and arrows.
This is murder.
Well, I don't believe it.
My gentlemen are honest, they would not do a thing like Here's what one of your lovely gentlemen did.
Lust and filth.
That's what you're selling.
For historical reasons, British trains have a much smaller loading gauge than European or American trains.
I never knew that.
Funnily enough, I was on a train the other day, Ronnie, to Norwich.
Have you ever been to Norwich?Once.
My second husband was called Terry.
Sweet enough bloke, but thick as a fence post.
Why did you marry him, then? He was hung like something off the beach at Weston Super Mare.
There must be one little area of your bodies that's not quite the same?Wouldn't you like to know? Yes, I would.
I really would.
Do you like football?No.
Is DCI Hunt married? There was a Mrs Hunt once, I believe.
Poor, poor woman! Now he's only married to his job.
HE RINGS BELL All change! You're working late.
They're all down at Luigi's at this dating thing.
I didn't feel well enough to go.
Sorry to hear that.
Why did you join the police force, Sharon? To make a difference.
Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Not to me.
I had big dreams.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, being a woman and everything, but I thought if I put my head down and worked really hard Well, the police force is changing, women will increasingly hold sway.
I mean, look at Alex Drake.
I do.
She's the most amazing woman I've ever met.
She's also the one that's got me thinking, maybe this job ain't for me.
Because you can't compete with her? Not with any of them.
I just don't think I'm cut out to do this for the rest of my life.
I'm not strong enough.
What would DCI Hunt say to that? He wouldn't understand.
He's as brave as a lion and he don't have time for anyone who ain't.
Do you know what I think, Sharon? I think it takes enormous courage to realise you might have taken a wrong turn.
That maybe this job isn't for you.
Do you think I should leave the force, Sir? I think you know exactly what you should do.
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
My fourth husband is a lovely man.
Dotes on me.
Worships me.
So why are you here?He's dead.
But he's still here with me in spirit, wants me to be happy.
Weren't we meant to swop? Nobody sat in your chair, darlin', did they? Only me.
I'm sat in your chair, babes.
I'm sure this is not what you're meant to do, but They're lovely.
I suppose that's the one saving grace about my divorce, that there weren't any children involved.
Actually, I'm not divorced.
Their mum died.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Ray's a top bloke.
He's my best mate, brilliant copper.
If you don't want to talk to me, just say.
What's the most unusual place a bloke's ever made love to you? Probably my bottom.
It's unconventional, I'll say that.
She's quite a woman, your Alex Drake.
Why don't you go and talk to her, Sir? I'll be fine here.
Don't be silly.
She doesn't bite.
All change again, please! Sir? My name's Jim and I've been looking for love in all the wrong places.
My knickers are in my handbag.
What do you say to that? Herb Alpert and His Tijuana Brass.
When this is over, why don't we nip upstairs and have a game of cards? Upstairs?A mate of ours has a flat above the restaurant.
Do you think he'd mind? It's a she.
Looks like she's a little busy at the minute.
So how's about it? I think I'm going to go home, Luigi.
No, stay, lovely Shaz.
On the house.
I just don't feel a part of it any more.
Music, I like Elvis Costello, Philip Glass, Mahler.
I love Mahler.
The Adagiato from his Fifth Symphony.
I love it.
Luigi! If you don't ring that bloody bell I will ring it for you! BELL RINGS All change again, please.
So, tell me again is it Aces high or low? High! Well, that went well.
I've just spent a precious evening with a bunch of sluts and losers.
He wasn't here.
No, but he might have been.
No, he wasn't.
No pattern, no response to my questions.
I'm going home now.
Goodnight.
Nothing jumped out to you, did it, Elaine? No.
Look, I can't tell you how sorry I am that my agency has been involved in these terrible crimes.
I hope you find the person that killed these women.
Oh, I will.
the only dates he'll be going on are with a very large man called Bubba and a tub of prison margarine.
Has it poisoned you, all this, Mr Hunt? Oh, go back to fluffyville, lady.
There is love in this world.
People find it every day.
I'm a police officer! You're all under arrest! Put down your weapons! What you gonna do, babe?I'll say it again, I'm a police officer! Put down your weapons! Cut her! Stick the bitch! Make the pig squeal! Run, little piggy girl, run before I cut you! 'Murder, murder!' What we have to ask ourselves is why now? Some of the murder victims go back a couple of years or more, but we received no severed limbs.
So why now?You should have stuck around last night.
Twintastic! Last time we tried this, I ended up dating the world's biggest trollop.
I'm running out of patience, Bolly.
Andour alternative is what? I think DI Drake is right.
Find your own case, Keats.
Why now? Maybe he wants fame?Ted Bundy.
Jeffrey Dahmer.
Carry on.
If he wants fame, why can't he top himself on a Wogan show? Because he's enjoying making a fool of you.
Still doesn't explain why now? He left giveaway marks on the bodies.
Which were missed.
Are we keeping you from your fetid office, DCI Keats? Maybe he's using the hand as a bigger clue?It's possible.
Maybe he's using the hand to accelerate the game.
But why?Maybe he's sick? Get away.
Physically sick? Maybe he's dying.
He can't wait for us to put the clues together so he had to help.
Exactly.
He'll kill again.
Is this a private game or can we all join in? - He wants an easy life in prison? - He wants glory.
Get me the medical records of all Crescent Moon's clients.
Every city? We get to their GPs, find out if anything has changed recently in their medical situation.
Will somebody please sort that noise out! I'm only going to say this once, and I'd like you all to respect my decision and not to try to talk to me about it or try and talk me out of it.
- Shaz? - Especially you, Chris.
I've thought long and hard about this, I've spoken to senior officers, and I'm resigning from the Metropolitan Police.
No questions, no arguments, I've made my decision.
Obviously, I'll work out my notice.
For you, Ma'am.
You ordered it from Manchester.
Thanks, Viv.
Hang on a second, here's something.
What is it?This bloke was told he had terminal cancer two months ago.
Let me see.
That's McLean.
I met him speed-dating.
He was a widower, two kids.
Can't be.
Oldest trick in the book.
"The wife's just died, I'm bringing up two kids on my own.
" Then your ankles are behind your ears.
Looks like you've been stitched up like a kipper, Bolly.
Little shit.
Let's get him! I know your professional pride is Piqued? Trampled on like a dead rat.
But one gloomy prognosis by a doctor doesn't make a case.
We need evidence.
See if he's got a record.
I could go in as bait again.
No, he's already seen you.
He liked them young.
I am young, you rude git! Young, divorced and dark-haired.
I'm not going to try and talk you out of leaving, Shaz.
I don't know why you want to leave, it makes no sense to me, but you're my colleague.
You said ask no questions, so no questions will be asked.
Thank you, Sir.
All I do ask of you is that you go out in a blaze of glory.
Make me proud of you.
I know what you want me to do.
Believe me, if I thought I was capable of doing it, I wouldn't be leaving.
Shaz, all over this country, there are women lying in unmarked graves.
It's our job and responsibility to stop this bastard from killing again.
Please don't ask me.
I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it.
SHE SOBS And then no more? Then no more.
I give you my word.
So how does it work? I sent out your details to McLean, as I normally would send out a new client.
I said that there was a lot of interest, so if he hadn't phoned back by three, then You know those twins? Almost identical.
But not quite.
He'll phone back and then I'll tell him I'll forward his details on to you.
It'll be your choice when and where you meet him.
You didn't go anywhere near those twins, did you, Ray? Yeah, I did!No, you didn't.
You stroke that tache when you're lying.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
You don't have to do this, not if you don't want to.
It'll be the last thing I do.
Don't say that.
PHONE RINGS Crescent Moon Dating Agency, Elaine speaking, How can I help you? Mr McLean, how nice to hear from you.
Yes, yes, I think I can remember the young lady, she's new on our books.
Sharon.
Delightful young lady.
Yes, I'll be only too happy to pass your enquiry on to her.
I hope she responds.
You're very welcome.
This is wrong.
She's clearly not in the right frame of mind.
Say something to the Guv, then.
I will.
I bloody will.
Yeah, right.
Anything yet?Chris wants to say something.
What? Nothing.
You never stand up to authority.
You twat.
You never got anywhere near those twins.
Saddo.
Did.
Didn't.
Shaz is on the line here.
She's got some balls, I'll give her that.
One of us should be there.
Too risky.
Sharon?Yeah?Graham.
'Oh, hello.
I'm Sharon.
' 'Yeah.
You said.
' Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
Thank you.
Me, too.
My wife died two years ago.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
You're probably not meant to do this, but They're lovely.
They said they didn't want their daddy being lonely forever.
'So here I am.
'What a scumbag.
'What about you, Sharon? You're obviously a very attractive woman.
' I'm a bit surprised you're using a dating agency.
I've been out with guys my own age.
I found them a bit inadequate, to be honest.
'Where are my manners? Can I buy you a drink?''Please, I'll have Bacardi and Coke.
' Thank you.
Actually, I've got a better idea No, forget it, forget it, sorry, new at this, it's against the rules.
What? Well, it's just that there is the most lovely moon out tonight, and, well, I know this view of the Thames.
Don't do it, Shaz, stay in the pub.
It's just that Elaine said I should always stay around other people.
Especially on the first date.
Quite right, too.
Bacardi and Coke.
But I do like a nice view.
Oh, Shaz! I'm going in!Stay where you are! Shaz is in charge.
It's dangerous.
She's a police officer, it's meant to be dangerous.
Tell me about your wife.
My wife? That's a strange question.
'Sorry.
' - 'Where are we now?' - 'Short cut.
' - 'Are you cold?' - 'No.
' 'I'll make us a little fire.
' Careful, Shaz.
- 'What about the view?' - 'Women feel cold more than men.
' Women need warmth.
What a nutter.
Just get him to talk.
This will end badly, I know it.
There's wasteland to the south.
With the same pattern,he'll be Like a needle in a haystack! There'll be a fire.
Let him confess! You asked about my wife.
Maybe we should get back.
She was a slut, Sharon.
Told me she loved me.
Told me she wanted my kids.
A slut and a liar.
She is dead, though? Lives in Aberdeen, amounts to the same thing.
HE LAUGHS There's a restraining order against me.
I see.
Do you? Do you see? Do you know where she met her gingery Scotsman? The father of her little ginger children? No.
A dating agency.
I was working all hours and that slut was meeting men through a dating agency.
You don't know where she is! 'What do you do for a living?' I manage a supermarket.
You don't travel round the country? No.
I don't believe you! I think you've been to Bristol and Norwich.
That's a lie.
You said you had a dead wife and lovely kids! - Are you a slut, Sharon? - No.
I think you are.
What's that? It's just the moon.
Pretty, isn't it? 'Used to be on a necklace that he gave to my wife.
' It's a romantic present, because they met at this dating agency.
What did you do to the girls you met? - You're a very pretty slut, Sharon.
- I told you, I'm not a slut! Go!'Is this what you did with the other girls before you killed them?' Do you want to know the irony of all this, right?! That bitch lives in ginger happiness and me I've got cancer, Sharon.
Yeah! Eating away at me.
Killing me softly.
Sluts Sluts have to be branded, Sharon.
Like cattle.
Then, like cattle, they get slaughtered.
Stop moving! HER SCREAMS CONTINUE You see, you can't touch me, nobody can, cos you see, I die of cancer in a prison cell, or I die of cancer as a free man.
You can't touch me, Sharon.
Mwah! But I can certainly touch you.
Shaz!Shazza!Shaz! Shazza! Hang on! I heard something.
Over there.
Get an ambulance! He needs help or he'll die and he's got to confess! Shaz come here, baby.
Let go of me! It's over, it's all right.
Drake.
Drake Get to the bar.
Can I just say? Order! Order! Come on.
Can I just say, that I might not have been the greatest supporter of women in the police force.
It's not my fault I've got an illness with a posh name.
What is it?Misogyny.
THE MEN: Oooh! But what Shaz did tonight was incredible.
And I for one am very proud to be a colleague of yours.
Now, go and make my dinner! LAUGHTER AND CHEERING Whatever you do next, Shaz, I'm sure you'll be brilliant at it.
I hope I'll always know you.
Of course you will.
Right, Shaz, let's put an end to this leaving nonsense.
Guv! You promised you wouldn't mention it.
I lied.
It's long been an ambition of mine to see you out of your uniform.
Guv! No, out of THE uniform.
What I'm trying to say is, if you keep up this quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas.
You can't be serious? When I'm notbeing serious, I have lovely crinkly lines at theside of my eyes.
Crows feet, Guv.
Thank you, Christopher.
What do you say, Granger? I say yes.
DAVID BOWIE'S "Life On Mars" PLAYS BRIEFLY To Shaz, everybody! ALL: To Shaz.
To Shaz! Quite the showman.
He has his moments.
You did well, Alex.
Really well.
We all did.
We're a team.
A team.
I hear you've been in touch with Manchester.
There were some files I was interested in.
Sam Tyler's files?Yeah.
You think he killed him, don't you? I think who killed him? I don'tknow what you're talking about.
I think he did, too.
Guv.
I heardwhat happened.
You did a fine thing.
As far as I'm concerned,he can die in a nice,warm cell in prison.
If you ever want a date, Mr Hunt .
.
call me.
How did you do that? Well, Raymondo you've eithergot it, my friend, or you haven't.
To Shaz! You know, we make a good team, Bolly.
Posh totty and a bit of rough.
Uptown girl, downtown man.
Look at Shaz - she's blooming.
One thing, though.
Team's sticktogether through thick and thin.
I know.
They don't go behind yourback digging up old files.
Old files that arebetter left well alone.
Guv You see, Keats and people like him, they want to take us down, Alex.
So no matter what he says don't help him.
Sorry to be a party pooper, but I'm here a wee bit longer.
I'll build up a profile of the efficiency of this department.
Let's just call it snooping.
Manchester's been on.
Do you want anything else on the Sam Tyler case? No, I'm fine.
Thanks, Shaz.
These are cases dating back to 1980 All your grubby little secrets and malpractices waiting to be uncovered.
I'm going to unearth you, Hunt.
Stars? Why stars?