Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s03e02 Episode Script
The Twins, the Trustee, and the Very Big Trip
Dr.
Connor, Emergency Room 1 stat.
Dr.
Connor, Emergency Room 1 stat.
There were hundreds of babies born in Los Angeles County two days ago.
Black babies, white babies, big babies and small babies, but only one baby's so special that she'll go through life with the name Damn it, lady, get out of there.
The nurse ruined my shot again.
I gotta do it one more time.
David, visiting hours were over an hour ago.
Mel and Jackie are gonna be bringing it home first thing tomorrow.
It's not like you're not gonna get another chance to see it pooping and drooling for the rest of its life.
Don't worry, Erin.
Your sister's just jealous because you're so gorgeous.
I didn't say you weren't gorgeous.
The truth is at this point the only way anybody can tell it's a girl is because they wrap her in a pink blanket.
I got news for you, Kel.
That's not the only way they can tell it's a girl.
You are so disgusting.
See you at home, kiddo.
Welcome to the world.
She's ungrateful.
She's deceitful.
She's irrational.
What we've got here is a manipulative little girl who is spoiled rotten to the core.
I can't listen to this anymore.
Honey, I don't blame you.
If anything, I blame myself.
All those years, she was daddy's little bunny fish.
Whatever Brenda want, Brenda got.
Kisses and hugs.
No questions asked.
No wonder she has no respect for parental authority.
She's out of control.
Out of control.
No, Jim, she is in perfect control.
And she's been ever since you decided to go to war with Dylan McKay.
Are you forgetting how many times she has blatantly lied to us in the last six weeks? Of course not.
But stomping around the house, threatening to use the full extent of the law, that's not gonna bring our family back together.
I just can't sit back and do nothing knowing that she's shacked up with that guy.
Honey, I know how you feel.
What do you propose we do about it? Lock her in a chastity belt, keep her in her room until we're ready to become grandparents? For starters.
Oh, I haven't slept in two days.
Look.
Why don't we just hold out for another day or two and see what happens.
And if that doesn't work? Then we wring her neck.
I'm going out.
What? Would you turn off the vacuum cleaner? I can't hear you.
Let me turn off the vacuum cleaner.
Sorry.
What were you saying? Bren, I appreciate you cleaning up around here, I really do.
But could you wait until I'm gone? Sure.
Are you going to the beach? Yeah, maybe.
- When do you think you'll be back? - Tonight.
Don't worry about it.
I'm not worried.
It's just that I don't know if you want me to fix dinner.
It's a little hard to start thinking about dinner when you haven't had breakfast yet.
Sorry.
Do you want me to fix you something? - Some eggs? Toast? Cereal? - Bren, I'm not hungry, okay? Hey, I'm sorry.
Even on good days, I can be a bear in the morning.
But I do love you, you know that? You better not be saying that just to make me feel better.
I'll be back tonight.
We are in desperate need of some laundry detergent.
Can you pick some up at the market on your way back, please? No problem.
And while you're at the store, get something for dinner.
Some fish, chicken, whatever you want.
Doesn't matter.
I'll be here.
Have a nice day.
They stuck you with a temperamental chair, huh? Yeah, you'd think the Beverly Hills Beach Club could afford one that works.
No.
That'd be too easy.
This puppy's worthless, but if you go over there, I think you'll find what I truly believe is the best spot on the beach.
Really? Why is it so good? Well, great breeze off the ocean, rays all day, and it just happens to be right next to where I'm sitting.
- I'm Steve Sanders.
- Hi, Steve.
- I'm Rory.
- Yes, you are.
This is so weird.
This is just like nostalgia.
I mean, this is our very last farewell-to-the-Beach-Club burger.
Donna, we're not leaving for three days.
I know, I just have so much packing to do.
You haven't packed yet? Maybe I shouldn't be going.
Donna, are you getting cold feet again? Kelly, I don't even speak French.
So you'll take a dictionary.
It's no big deal.
I gotta agree.
Studying in Paris for six weeks is a très cool concept.
I know, I'm just gonna miss you so much.
Excuse me.
Are Brenda and her parents back on speaking terms yet? Hardly.
Why? - Hello, Mrs.
Walsh.
- Congratulations.
Oh, thank you.
So, what's it like having a new little person around? - Great.
- It's pretty cool.
I think we'll let her stay around for a while.
- How's your mom doing? - Well, she's tired.
But then I guess you know what it's like having kids.
Yes.
In fact, I do.
Listen, have any of you seen Brandon? No.
Excuse me, they said somebody got locked out of their cabana? - I think I'll die of embarrassment now.
- Oh, the shame of it.
Can you ever forgive me? lt'll be tough.
But I think I can rise to the occasion.
Steve, wanna hear a poem I just wrote? - Do I have a choice? - Nope.
Here it is: Don't look now, The summer has begun.
The babes have landed, And guess who just landed one? All right.
Stud mania out of control.
Well, guess who else met a girl today? You? - Earthquake material.
- Must be contagious.
I hope not.
I'm going out with her tonight.
- You work fast.
- Well, I've got to.
- She's only in L.
A.
for a week.
- Mine to.
She's going back to Florida.
She's here visiting her Aunt Betty in Brentwood.
Is that the girl you asked out? Yeah.
- Me too.
- No.
- Yes.
- Steve, now settle.
Brandon, I met her first.
Steve, it's customary in America for women to have some sort of say over who they're gonna go out with, is it not? Fine.
She's yours.
- You go out with her.
- Steve, what's your problem? I'm not gonna compete with you over a girl.
I've been down that road before.
She's gonna say Hey, Steve, how you doing? See you in a couple of hours.
Twins? Could this be? Twins.
You jerk.
What can I say, man, other than "wanna double-date?" Yeah.
So the rage at camp is to come up with these hip nicknames.
We got Maya Papaya, Briana Banana, Heather the Feather.
So, what's your hip nickname? Andrea Schmandria.
Lovely.
So, what would mine be? Like, "Landon Brandon"? "Walsh rarebit.
" Oh, yes.
- Night, chief.
- Bye.
- Mom? - Oh, fancy meeting you here.
Yeah.
Guess I don't think of you and dad as members yet, sorry.
Well, that's okay.
Neither do we.
So when's dad finally gonna show his ugly mug down here? Not until we find a way to break this impasse with Brenda.
Have you heard from her? No, but I think that's mostly because she doesn't want me to get stuck in the middle of it again.
I understand.
I just wonder how she'd react if you did get in touch with her.
On your own, of course.
I'm just curious what she'd say.
I don't know, Mom.
Want me to call her up and find out? Or you could go over there in person to see how she's doing.
I mean, if you want.
And put myself right back in the middle of it? I'm not asking you to spy on her, Brandon, but something's gotta give.
Mom, you know your tan sports sack, the one you always travel with? I'm familiar with it.
Is it okay if Donna borrows it for the summer? Why not? I'm not going anywhere.
It's all set.
Okay, I'll bring it by tomorrow.
Donna, stop worrying.
Everything will be okay.
I love you too.
Goodbye.
Jeez, talk about Miss Jitters.
- She scared of flying? - Scared of packing.
Oh, my God.
You're nursing.
Well, we're trying.
That's so maternal instinct.
That's me.
I'm mama.
Mama.
And this is Kelly.
Can you say Kelly? By the time she gets back from Paris, you'll be such a big girl, she won't even know you.
Yes, you will.
Do you wanna hold her? - Is it okay? - Sure, she won't bite.
She doesn't have any teeth.
Just to be sure and hold her head up for support.
- Okay.
- Are you ready? Yeah.
You got it, there you go.
- There you go.
- Hi, there, munchkin.
- She smells like toast.
- Right out of the oven.
Hello, baby.
I'm your sister.
Can you say Kelly? Kelly.
You want half of this burrito, babe? It's really good.
- I'm fine, thank you.
- You sure? Yeah, I'm not really into frozen lard and hydrogenated bean oil.
Did you or did you not tell me I could get anything I wanted? I also said we desperately needed to do a load of laundry.
If you were so desperate, why didn't you go to the store? In what car, Dylan? You were gone all day.
- You should've walked.
- You know, I would've walked, - but you told me you were going.
- I went.
And you just forgot to get everything that we needed.
- Look, Dylan.
- Listen, Brenda.
Hi, guys.
- Did I come at a bad time? - No, not at all.
- Yeah, come on in.
- Thanks.
I was just on my way to the store.
I gotta get some detergent.
I'll be back.
Are you hungry? Yeah, what've you got? Oh, there's a killer bean burrito in the freezer in there.
Cool.
Later, chief.
Long time no see.
How you doing? Couldn't be better.
She's looking me in the eye, telling me how wonderful everything is.
I can tell she's lying through her teeth, but when I press her on it, she gets up and starts washing the dishes.
You say she and Dylan are fighting? Not while I was there, but I could tell the vibes weren't so hot.
How do you know that without compromising your neutrality? Let me put it this way, Dad.
Dylan is sleeping by himself on the couch.
Thank God for small favours.
Did she ask how your father and I were doing? No, not really.
She said something about digging in her heels, but I think if you held out an olive branch, she might just come round.
And do what, forgive us for all the terrible things we haven't done? Come on, Brandon, from what you're saying, to convince Brenda to come around will take a court injunction or a miracle worker.
- Hi, Mom.
- Kelly? What are you doing? Erin started crying, so I thought I should change her diaper.
Well, honey, that was very sweet of you.
I'm sorry she woke you up.
No, she didn't wake me, I wasn't sleeping.
What have you been doing for the last six hours? Watching her.
But when I was rocking her and she looked up at me, it was like I started thinking, "This is the miracle of life.
I'm holding the perfect essence of the universe right here in my arms.
" It's getting a little philosophical for 4:30 in the morning.
No, just hear me out because what really blows me away Look at her.
She looks exactly like me.
Yes, she does.
And that's because she's my sister and you're my mom.
This is my family and I'm a major part of it for the very first time in my life.
I don't wanna miss any part of that.
And that's why I'm not going away for the summer.
Kelly, what are you saying? I've already been to Europe three times.
I don't need to be sent away to find myself.
What I need to do is to stay here where I belong.
You think so too, don't you? I don't understand why I can't have a baby Bonjour, travellers.
No, no.
- Donna, what's wrong? - Her mom's making her go to Paris.
Can we come in? Stop crying.
I'm not blaming Kelly, I just wish she would've blown off the trip when my mom still could have gotten her deposit back.
It's not like I did it on purpose.
I know.
I think it's great that you're bonding with this new life force, but are you telling me this has nothing to do with Jake? No.
If anything, I'm trying to put him out of my head.
I can't spend a whole summer in Paris myself.
Donna, you'll meet people.
You'll make friends.
I mean, you'll be in Paris.
Well, it's easy for you to say.
You speak French.
I speak nothing.
Donna, it's okay.
It's an immersion programme.
You'll be parlez-vous-ing before you know it.
- Are you still gonna help me pack? - I promised you I would.
Yeah, you also promised you'd be my roommate for the summer.
Donna, I'm sorry.
How could I have known that I would be so connected by the sensation of finally being part of a real family, you know? So, what are you doing after tomorrow? Oh, yeah, right.
I'll be a stowaway in one of your suitcases.
Come on.
It would be so much fun to be with you in Paris.
Yeah, but since I'm not talking to my parents it'd be hard to hit them up for the money to send me.
Yeah and plus you'd have to leave Dylan.
- What about me? I'm leaving David.
- This is different.
Brenda and Dylan are living together.
They're making a statement, a beautiful statement.
How's it going? It couldn't be better.
I'm telling you, Brandon, she's making me crazy.
- I kind of got that last night.
- You don't know the half of it.
To be truthful, I don't wanna know the half of it.
I don't wanna know any of it.
It's one thing if you're putting down my old man, but when it comes to my sister, I don't wanna hear it.
Oh, don't get me wrong, man.
I love your sister, but was she always so into ironing everything? - Only when she gets depressed.
- Oh, that's terrific.
Look at it this way, you could always ship her home.
No, I can't, man.
There's a major principle involved here.
And what principle is that, Dylan? Misery loves company? Hi, Mom.
Brenda.
Kelly said you were at the Beach Club yesterday asking about me.
So I wanted to stop in and assure you that I am alive and well and despite our recent fall out with you guys that everything's great.
I'm very happy about my decision.
- Which decision is that? - To be with Dylan in the open.
As a matter of fact, I'm happier than I've been in a long time.
Probably my whole life.
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
- I am.
- I'm glad.
It's not always easy though.
Well, what's not easy? You know, life, day-to-day routine.
You know, the place looks the same.
Feels different though.
I guess that's because I'm not here anymore.
You're here now.
I can't stay, Mom.
Not under his rules.
Not until he can show me a little respect.
Respect is something you earn, Brenda.
Listen, before I forget, I got a couple of cassettes on how to speak French for Kelly and Donna.
Oh, just Donna.
Kelly decided to stay in town with Jackie and baby Erin for the summer.
Really? Yeah, can you believe it? I mean, I'm sure the baby is cute and all, but if it were me, I would give anything to be able to study in Paris.
Well, I hope you know what you're doing with Dylan, honey.
Just lock the door when you leave.
- Where are you going? - The Beach Club.
Have a nice day.
- Brandon.
- Hey, man.
Just in time to grab your own wheels.
The girls aren't here yet.
Yeah.
There's a little proposition I'd like to float by you before they get here.
Why do I feel I'm not gonna like this? Oh, you're gonna love it.
Convincing them to go along with it, that's gonna be the tricky part.
Go on.
Okay, today we do everything like we've planned.
I'm with Rory.
You're with Claire.
We hang out, we go to the movies.
But tomorrow we pull the old switcheroo.
I'll be with Claire and you be with Rory.
- How does that grab you? - I don't know, Steve.
Brandon, come on, this is pure Fantasy Island time.
Two for the price of one.
That way, if one of them turns out to be a dud, neither one of us has to suffer.
Wait a second.
Didn't you go out with Rory last night? Yeah.
What, was it a total disaster? Oh, no, no, no.
She's a great girl, she's tons of fun.
But? But we spent most of the evening in the emergency room at Cedars.
She thought she had food poisoning.
They didn't pump her stomach, but what a way to get acquainted.
Who the hell goes to a crab house and orders squid, you know? You shouldn't be laughing.
This wouldn't be that funny - if it happened to you.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
You know, Walsh, you got a real mean streak.
You know that, don't you? I'm sorry.
So how's the patient? Well, she's more embarrassed than anything else, but she'll be fine.
She just has to lie down for a while.
Well, I'll lie down with her if it'll make her feel better.
I bet you would.
- Listen, are you hungry? - Starving.
Order me something yummy and I'll meet you up on the deck.
Cool.
You are a lucky guy, Walsh.
You meet a girl and immediately you get karma for life.
I meet a beautiful damsel in distress and it turns out I'm the one in distress.
Rory's cool.
She's just having a bad run of luck.
Being in the sun was too intense for her.
- Wanna trade? - Don't be a jerk, all right? We're all gonna go out tonight.
We're gonna have a great time.
- You'll see.
Everything will be fine.
- Yeah.
She was here? You didn't lock her in the basement? We don't have a basement, Jim.
- Well, we should get one.
- Look, I felt the same way you do until it dawned on me why she came over here.
She came here to raid our refrigerator and bring clothes back to Dylan's house.
She was looking for a way to make peace, Jim.
How can you say that? Did she apologise? Did she express any concern for our feelings? Did she do anything other than insult you and announce that she will never live in this house under our rules again? Fine.
If all you wanna do is escalate the battle, then by all means, call your lawyer friend and go on the attack.
But if you have any interest in regaining the love and loyalty of the only daughter we're gonna have in this lifetime, then I strongly suggest that you sit down and listen to what I have to say for a change.
I'm listening.
Hallelujah.
Was I supposed to bring home dinner? I don't know.
Were you? Who cares, right? - I care.
- Yeah, you do.
Do you need me to go to the market? Dylan, I just want you to hold me.
Oh, baby.
- What are we doing? - I don't know.
But whatever we're doing, Bren, we gotta stop.
I mean, we gotta stop pretending that we're married, or we're gonna get a divorce.
- I saw my mother today.
- Where? My house.
And then she had to go and I was there all by myself.
So I went upstairs and sat in my father's chair.
For the first time, I started thinking that maybe my family would've been better off if we had just stayed in Minnesota.
Then I started thinking about you.
And there's just one thing.
Well, you're feeling much better, aren't you? You slept it off most of the day.
The swelling's down.
You haven't eaten shellfish in 24 hours.
Look, I don't know, I honestly think we may have turned a corner here.
What? What's wrong? I'm having an attack of sinusitis.
What's wrong? It's from the trustees of the estate of Dylan McKay.
It's a summons to appear in your father's office tomorrow, 12:00.
What for? He's going after my money.
He's informed the bank that he's considering freezing my accounts.
What does that mean? That means he's playing for keeps.
Brandon, what's fair is fair.
And what's stupid and insulting is stupid and insulting.
Okay, now we all know who got the stupid one.
Steve, if you wanna go out with Claire, just call her up and ask her.
I don't care.
I'm not gonna make a stink about some girl who's going back to Florida in a couple days.
But don't make me go out with Rory just because you got some fantasy thing about twins.
What if Rory wants to go out with you? I guarantee you something.
If you call Rory and tell her you wanna pull a little switcheroo, her and her sister will be so insulted, neither of them will talk to us again.
You wanna bet? Six-thirty going once.
Six-thirty going twice.
Sold to the cute girl from Fort Lauderdale.
- Steve, get off the phone.
- All right.
So I'll see you then.
And please tell Rory I'm glad she's feeling better.
Yeah, you never know.
She and Brandon just may hit it off.
- Steve.
- I'll see you around 6:30.
Bye, babe.
Refresh my memory.
Did we have a little wager on this deal here? Tell me, how'd you know they'd go for it? Even when you were with Claire, I sensed there was some chemistry going on between us.
I would've said something, but I didn't wanna get into a competitive thing with you over some girl.
Oh, no.
Not you, Steve.
Six-thirty.
Mind if I join you? Go ahead.
Donna, when you going to Europe? - Day after tomorrow.
- Well, are you all packed? - Oh, my God.
- What did I say? You have to come with me, David.
That's all there is to it.
I'd get on that plane in a minute if I could, but if there's any hope of me graduating early I've gotta go to summer school and get my math and science requirements out of the way.
I really feel for you, Donna.
I can't believe Kelly's gonna shy on Europe just so she can stay home and moon over some baby.
- She's really flipped out.
- No, she hasn't.
I mean, Paris is Paris, but you have to admit, it's an awfully cute baby.
Yeah, my mom's breast-feeding.
It's hard to do all the feedings without getting sleep deprivation, so I give her her bottle at the 4:00 shift.
- Four o'clock in the morning? - Yeah, but it's worth it.
I get to spend a lot of private time with the baby.
Bren, you have to meet her.
She is so alert.
So precious.
I could just eat her up.
Yeah, well, I can't wait.
Look, I've gotta get off.
- Well, call me later.
- I will.
Well, here goes nothing.
No, here goes a lot.
Look, the fact that you're going to my father's office to stand up for what's right means more than you'll ever know.
Brenda, your father is my trustee.
He sent me a summons.
It's not like I have a choice.
But if you did have a choice, I know you'd be there for me.
It's come to the attention of the trust that you are currently cohabitating with a minor.
And you are aware that she is under 18.
All right.
As the officer sworn to protect and maintain the integrity of your estate, it is my obligation not to accept any conduct on your part which puts the estate at risk.
And, by harbouring a minor, you are technically committing statutory rape.
I knew it.
Therefore, according to the terms of the trust, I am left with no choice but to impound any and all assets of the trust until you cease and desist in engaging in any activity which is not in the best interest of the trust.
Oh, come on, man.
You got a lot of other options instead of going after me, you just choose not to acknowledge them.
It is not my fault that you can't communicate with your daughter.
You're right, it's not your fault.
It's your problem.
What was I supposed to do? She showed up on my doorstep.
I didn't want her to move in.
I knew it was a mistake.
I knew it'd make you crazy.
And the fact is, my place just isn't all that big.
Things are getting a little bit cramped over there, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, they are.
All right.
Here's the deal.
Brenda is gonna be offered the chance to study in Paris this summer.
If you don't stand in her way, but instead help Cindy and me to convince her that it's in her best interest to go, well, everyone's problem might just go away.
That's blackmail.
We choose to think of it as creative parenting.
Steve.
Brandon, get dressed.
The girls will be here any minute.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
As a self-respecting twin, I can't go through with this switcheroo thing.
Well, it's a little late for that now, Brandon.
Look, why don't you go out with Claire and have a good time.
I'll break it with Rory.
Whatever.
I just never figured you for a PG-13 kind of guy.
Rory, Brandon's over there.
- Hi, Rory.
- Hi, Brandon.
Listen, this is gonna sound absurd but You're not Rory.
Someone's gotta teach him a lesson.
Well, we can go to dinner now or we could go upstairs to my mom's cabana and watch the sunset.
It's a killer view.
What do you say, Claire? Let's go for it, big boy.
Hey.
Why didn't you call? I've been climbing the walls.
After the meeting, I just got in the car and drove.
It was that bad, huh? Actually, no.
I just needed some time to sort a few things out.
- You know your red dress? - Yeah.
Put it on.
- We're going out? - Dinner at your parents' house.
We have to be there in about half an hour.
No way.
Not with the way my father's been treating us.
- Brenda.
- Dylan, no.
The way he's been hassling you about your estate, I don't wanna go over there ever again.
That's that.
No, Bren, that is not that.
Wait till you taste my patented mucho marvellous mango margaritas.
Hey, if you're gonna be drinking, I don't wanna be driving with you.
Well, in that case, we'll just have to stay here all night.
Oh, that ought to be interesting.
I've wanted to do that since I first saw you.
Hey, didn't you say the same thing to Rory the night you took her to the crab house? No, no.
Rory and I had nothing going on.
She's a good sport.
She's boring.
You think so? Yeah.
She's not nearly as hot or sexy as you are.
Let's do it.
Let's go for it.
Come on, Claire.
I'm not Claire, you dumb guy.
I'm Rory.
What? You are such a slimy seal.
You couldn't even tell the difference.
Good timing.
Just took the fish off the grill.
I'm not hungry.
Well, why don't you come in anyway.
As long as you both understand the only reason I'm here is because Dylan asked me.
It's nice to see you too, sweetie.
Brenda, can I speak to you for a minute, please? Look, I know you're angry, but could you please try not to say something you're gonna regret later? Fine.
I won't say anything at all.
- Sauce is delicious, dear.
- Thank you.
It's a pink béarnaise.
It's made with tomatoes and peppers and zucchini.
Sounds very original.
Well, it's from my authentic April in Paris cookbook.
Ought to give it to Donna.
Or to you.
What? Do you have the envelope? This is a roundtrip ticket to Paris.
Look, has your name on it.
And I understand there's a lycée on the Rue des Jardins that is holding a place for you under the name of Kelly Taylor.
You're actually sending me to Paris? Well, it gives us some breathing space and a way to start all over again when you get back.
And a clever way to keep me from Dylan.
- Brenda.
- That's what this is all about, isn't it? A bribe.
A way to buy my love.
This is so Beverly Hills.
I can't believe I'm sitting in the same room with you.
Bren.
Have any other suggestions? Brenda, you gotta calm down.
I'll be fine as soon as I get out of this house.
No, listen to me.
You're not thinking clearly here.
If I'm not, Dylan, it's because of them.
Look, they are manipulative.
They are arrogant.
They are mean.
Well, yeah, they're your parents.
But, Bren, they're not perfect, okay? So who is? - Listen to you.
- I'm being realistic here, okay? So, what if your father's motives are bogus and heavy-handed? So, what if he's trying to set our agenda for us? We are talking about a chance to see Paris, okay? I've been there, you haven't, and I think that you're making a mistake if you let this opportunity to see that part of the world slip by just because your father pushes you too hard and doesn't know when to let go.
Do you know what I'm saying? Look, Brenda, it's obvious that you are as frustrated and angry with us as we are with you.
But you should know that sending you to Paris was my brilliant idea, not your father's.
In fact, he predicted you'd see it as a ploy to keep you and Dylan apart.
Are you telling me that the thought never even entered into your mind? Look, maybe it did, but I just don't wanna see you make the same mistake I did.
Oh, come on, Mom.
You and dad lived together before you got married.
You guys managed to survive.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about Look.
When I was in college, I was gonna spend my junior year at the Sorbonne in Paris and then I met your father and I decided to stay in Minnesota.
Well, everybody thought I was a complete fool, but I insisted that I knew exactly what I was doing.
I'd have plenty of time to travel after I graduated.
And of course, 20 years later, I've never been to Paris or London or anywhere, really.
Except Beverly Hills.
So are you saying I could still go to Paris if I wanted to? Well, it's probably easier to send you to Paris than to keep you locked up in the basement for the summer.
Especially considering we don't have a basement.
Look, honey, whether you go or not, we're gonna get through this.
We really will.
So you just let us know what you wanna do.
Why are things always so complicated? I don't know, seems pretty simple to me, really.
You just get on a plane and have the time of your life.
- What about us? - Us? Well, if our relationship can't stand six weeks without seeing each other, maybe your father's right.
We don't belong together.
Dylan.
Jim.
I understand my daughter's gonna be on a plane tomorrow.
Got what you wanted.
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
With Brenda, one learns to distinguish between what you want and what you get.
You can say that again.
In any event, I think having her go to Paris might just be the best thing for all of us.
It's the best thing for Brenda and that's why I went along with it and didn't tell her about the little chat in your office today.
I appreciate that.
In the future, I would appreciate it, regardless of what happens with me and Brenda or you and Brenda, if you want something from me, you don't have to put a loaded gun on my head.
Just ask me.
Okay.
See you around.
Take care of yourself, son.
So Brenda lies to my parents, throws temper tantrums, runs away to Dylan's house.
What does she get for her punishment? She gets to go spend the summer in Paris.
- What's wrong with this picture? - It's a strange world.
And it's getting stranger every day.
Yeah.
Maybe I should just get drunk and crash my car again.
Or better yet, get a couple of hookers and have a little orgy in front of Jim and Cindy.
Just make sure they're not twins.
Rory laid it on pretty thick, huh? Yeah.
I'd say it ranked as one of the top 10 most humiliating moments in my life.
And I wonder why I'm lonely.
Well, hey, buddy, I guarantee you by the end of this summer, we're gonna find you a woman if it's the last thing we do.
- Hi, guys.
- Oh, hey, Andrea.
Listen, my parents are having a little bon voyage party for Brenda because she's going to Paris for the summer Lucky girl.
Say goodbye to her for me, okay? - Jay.
I'm sorry, I gotta go, bye.
- Okay.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hard to believe Andrea's still going out with Jay Thurman.
He's the former editor of the Blaze, you know.
I know who he is, Steve, thanks.
You know what we're gonna do after we find you a girl? What? We gotta find me one too.
Obviously, these past few weeks have been very rocky.
Frankly, life's too short to be fighting with you all the time.
I know.
Gonna be a senior next year.
Gonna be going to college.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
It's no fun going through life without the love and support of your parents.
Believe me, I know what that feels like.
So when you're in Paris this summer, I would hope that you'll think long and hard about the kind of relationship you wanna have with me and your mother and your brother and if I don't stop talking, you're gonna miss the plane.
Thanks, Daddy.
Not just for sending me, but for giving me another chance.
I'll write you every day and I'll call you every Sunday morning.
Or maybe Sunday night.
Depends on if the rates change.
- Call me anytime, I'll be here.
- Okay.
- Have a safe trip.
- Okay.
Bye.
You do lead a charmed life, you know that.
Take care of them for me, will you? You take care of yourself.
Bye, Brandon.
Have fun, okay? I can't believe this is really happening.
Me neither.
Now I've gotta start doing my own laundry again.
I'll miss you too, Dylan.
Go on.
Just don't fall in love over there, okay? That goes for you too.
Oh, God.
Are you sad? Petrified.
I hate flying.
Just think, Kel, you could've been on that van.
Yep.
I bet Jake's glad you're staying in town.
I don't know.
We might get together sometime.
Oh, Kelly.
Hey, I might even get together with you.
Really? I might just hold you to that.
Connor, Emergency Room 1 stat.
Dr.
Connor, Emergency Room 1 stat.
There were hundreds of babies born in Los Angeles County two days ago.
Black babies, white babies, big babies and small babies, but only one baby's so special that she'll go through life with the name Damn it, lady, get out of there.
The nurse ruined my shot again.
I gotta do it one more time.
David, visiting hours were over an hour ago.
Mel and Jackie are gonna be bringing it home first thing tomorrow.
It's not like you're not gonna get another chance to see it pooping and drooling for the rest of its life.
Don't worry, Erin.
Your sister's just jealous because you're so gorgeous.
I didn't say you weren't gorgeous.
The truth is at this point the only way anybody can tell it's a girl is because they wrap her in a pink blanket.
I got news for you, Kel.
That's not the only way they can tell it's a girl.
You are so disgusting.
See you at home, kiddo.
Welcome to the world.
She's ungrateful.
She's deceitful.
She's irrational.
What we've got here is a manipulative little girl who is spoiled rotten to the core.
I can't listen to this anymore.
Honey, I don't blame you.
If anything, I blame myself.
All those years, she was daddy's little bunny fish.
Whatever Brenda want, Brenda got.
Kisses and hugs.
No questions asked.
No wonder she has no respect for parental authority.
She's out of control.
Out of control.
No, Jim, she is in perfect control.
And she's been ever since you decided to go to war with Dylan McKay.
Are you forgetting how many times she has blatantly lied to us in the last six weeks? Of course not.
But stomping around the house, threatening to use the full extent of the law, that's not gonna bring our family back together.
I just can't sit back and do nothing knowing that she's shacked up with that guy.
Honey, I know how you feel.
What do you propose we do about it? Lock her in a chastity belt, keep her in her room until we're ready to become grandparents? For starters.
Oh, I haven't slept in two days.
Look.
Why don't we just hold out for another day or two and see what happens.
And if that doesn't work? Then we wring her neck.
I'm going out.
What? Would you turn off the vacuum cleaner? I can't hear you.
Let me turn off the vacuum cleaner.
Sorry.
What were you saying? Bren, I appreciate you cleaning up around here, I really do.
But could you wait until I'm gone? Sure.
Are you going to the beach? Yeah, maybe.
- When do you think you'll be back? - Tonight.
Don't worry about it.
I'm not worried.
It's just that I don't know if you want me to fix dinner.
It's a little hard to start thinking about dinner when you haven't had breakfast yet.
Sorry.
Do you want me to fix you something? - Some eggs? Toast? Cereal? - Bren, I'm not hungry, okay? Hey, I'm sorry.
Even on good days, I can be a bear in the morning.
But I do love you, you know that? You better not be saying that just to make me feel better.
I'll be back tonight.
We are in desperate need of some laundry detergent.
Can you pick some up at the market on your way back, please? No problem.
And while you're at the store, get something for dinner.
Some fish, chicken, whatever you want.
Doesn't matter.
I'll be here.
Have a nice day.
They stuck you with a temperamental chair, huh? Yeah, you'd think the Beverly Hills Beach Club could afford one that works.
No.
That'd be too easy.
This puppy's worthless, but if you go over there, I think you'll find what I truly believe is the best spot on the beach.
Really? Why is it so good? Well, great breeze off the ocean, rays all day, and it just happens to be right next to where I'm sitting.
- I'm Steve Sanders.
- Hi, Steve.
- I'm Rory.
- Yes, you are.
This is so weird.
This is just like nostalgia.
I mean, this is our very last farewell-to-the-Beach-Club burger.
Donna, we're not leaving for three days.
I know, I just have so much packing to do.
You haven't packed yet? Maybe I shouldn't be going.
Donna, are you getting cold feet again? Kelly, I don't even speak French.
So you'll take a dictionary.
It's no big deal.
I gotta agree.
Studying in Paris for six weeks is a très cool concept.
I know, I'm just gonna miss you so much.
Excuse me.
Are Brenda and her parents back on speaking terms yet? Hardly.
Why? - Hello, Mrs.
Walsh.
- Congratulations.
Oh, thank you.
So, what's it like having a new little person around? - Great.
- It's pretty cool.
I think we'll let her stay around for a while.
- How's your mom doing? - Well, she's tired.
But then I guess you know what it's like having kids.
Yes.
In fact, I do.
Listen, have any of you seen Brandon? No.
Excuse me, they said somebody got locked out of their cabana? - I think I'll die of embarrassment now.
- Oh, the shame of it.
Can you ever forgive me? lt'll be tough.
But I think I can rise to the occasion.
Steve, wanna hear a poem I just wrote? - Do I have a choice? - Nope.
Here it is: Don't look now, The summer has begun.
The babes have landed, And guess who just landed one? All right.
Stud mania out of control.
Well, guess who else met a girl today? You? - Earthquake material.
- Must be contagious.
I hope not.
I'm going out with her tonight.
- You work fast.
- Well, I've got to.
- She's only in L.
A.
for a week.
- Mine to.
She's going back to Florida.
She's here visiting her Aunt Betty in Brentwood.
Is that the girl you asked out? Yeah.
- Me too.
- No.
- Yes.
- Steve, now settle.
Brandon, I met her first.
Steve, it's customary in America for women to have some sort of say over who they're gonna go out with, is it not? Fine.
She's yours.
- You go out with her.
- Steve, what's your problem? I'm not gonna compete with you over a girl.
I've been down that road before.
She's gonna say Hey, Steve, how you doing? See you in a couple of hours.
Twins? Could this be? Twins.
You jerk.
What can I say, man, other than "wanna double-date?" Yeah.
So the rage at camp is to come up with these hip nicknames.
We got Maya Papaya, Briana Banana, Heather the Feather.
So, what's your hip nickname? Andrea Schmandria.
Lovely.
So, what would mine be? Like, "Landon Brandon"? "Walsh rarebit.
" Oh, yes.
- Night, chief.
- Bye.
- Mom? - Oh, fancy meeting you here.
Yeah.
Guess I don't think of you and dad as members yet, sorry.
Well, that's okay.
Neither do we.
So when's dad finally gonna show his ugly mug down here? Not until we find a way to break this impasse with Brenda.
Have you heard from her? No, but I think that's mostly because she doesn't want me to get stuck in the middle of it again.
I understand.
I just wonder how she'd react if you did get in touch with her.
On your own, of course.
I'm just curious what she'd say.
I don't know, Mom.
Want me to call her up and find out? Or you could go over there in person to see how she's doing.
I mean, if you want.
And put myself right back in the middle of it? I'm not asking you to spy on her, Brandon, but something's gotta give.
Mom, you know your tan sports sack, the one you always travel with? I'm familiar with it.
Is it okay if Donna borrows it for the summer? Why not? I'm not going anywhere.
It's all set.
Okay, I'll bring it by tomorrow.
Donna, stop worrying.
Everything will be okay.
I love you too.
Goodbye.
Jeez, talk about Miss Jitters.
- She scared of flying? - Scared of packing.
Oh, my God.
You're nursing.
Well, we're trying.
That's so maternal instinct.
That's me.
I'm mama.
Mama.
And this is Kelly.
Can you say Kelly? By the time she gets back from Paris, you'll be such a big girl, she won't even know you.
Yes, you will.
Do you wanna hold her? - Is it okay? - Sure, she won't bite.
She doesn't have any teeth.
Just to be sure and hold her head up for support.
- Okay.
- Are you ready? Yeah.
You got it, there you go.
- There you go.
- Hi, there, munchkin.
- She smells like toast.
- Right out of the oven.
Hello, baby.
I'm your sister.
Can you say Kelly? Kelly.
You want half of this burrito, babe? It's really good.
- I'm fine, thank you.
- You sure? Yeah, I'm not really into frozen lard and hydrogenated bean oil.
Did you or did you not tell me I could get anything I wanted? I also said we desperately needed to do a load of laundry.
If you were so desperate, why didn't you go to the store? In what car, Dylan? You were gone all day.
- You should've walked.
- You know, I would've walked, - but you told me you were going.
- I went.
And you just forgot to get everything that we needed.
- Look, Dylan.
- Listen, Brenda.
Hi, guys.
- Did I come at a bad time? - No, not at all.
- Yeah, come on in.
- Thanks.
I was just on my way to the store.
I gotta get some detergent.
I'll be back.
Are you hungry? Yeah, what've you got? Oh, there's a killer bean burrito in the freezer in there.
Cool.
Later, chief.
Long time no see.
How you doing? Couldn't be better.
She's looking me in the eye, telling me how wonderful everything is.
I can tell she's lying through her teeth, but when I press her on it, she gets up and starts washing the dishes.
You say she and Dylan are fighting? Not while I was there, but I could tell the vibes weren't so hot.
How do you know that without compromising your neutrality? Let me put it this way, Dad.
Dylan is sleeping by himself on the couch.
Thank God for small favours.
Did she ask how your father and I were doing? No, not really.
She said something about digging in her heels, but I think if you held out an olive branch, she might just come round.
And do what, forgive us for all the terrible things we haven't done? Come on, Brandon, from what you're saying, to convince Brenda to come around will take a court injunction or a miracle worker.
- Hi, Mom.
- Kelly? What are you doing? Erin started crying, so I thought I should change her diaper.
Well, honey, that was very sweet of you.
I'm sorry she woke you up.
No, she didn't wake me, I wasn't sleeping.
What have you been doing for the last six hours? Watching her.
But when I was rocking her and she looked up at me, it was like I started thinking, "This is the miracle of life.
I'm holding the perfect essence of the universe right here in my arms.
" It's getting a little philosophical for 4:30 in the morning.
No, just hear me out because what really blows me away Look at her.
She looks exactly like me.
Yes, she does.
And that's because she's my sister and you're my mom.
This is my family and I'm a major part of it for the very first time in my life.
I don't wanna miss any part of that.
And that's why I'm not going away for the summer.
Kelly, what are you saying? I've already been to Europe three times.
I don't need to be sent away to find myself.
What I need to do is to stay here where I belong.
You think so too, don't you? I don't understand why I can't have a baby Bonjour, travellers.
No, no.
- Donna, what's wrong? - Her mom's making her go to Paris.
Can we come in? Stop crying.
I'm not blaming Kelly, I just wish she would've blown off the trip when my mom still could have gotten her deposit back.
It's not like I did it on purpose.
I know.
I think it's great that you're bonding with this new life force, but are you telling me this has nothing to do with Jake? No.
If anything, I'm trying to put him out of my head.
I can't spend a whole summer in Paris myself.
Donna, you'll meet people.
You'll make friends.
I mean, you'll be in Paris.
Well, it's easy for you to say.
You speak French.
I speak nothing.
Donna, it's okay.
It's an immersion programme.
You'll be parlez-vous-ing before you know it.
- Are you still gonna help me pack? - I promised you I would.
Yeah, you also promised you'd be my roommate for the summer.
Donna, I'm sorry.
How could I have known that I would be so connected by the sensation of finally being part of a real family, you know? So, what are you doing after tomorrow? Oh, yeah, right.
I'll be a stowaway in one of your suitcases.
Come on.
It would be so much fun to be with you in Paris.
Yeah, but since I'm not talking to my parents it'd be hard to hit them up for the money to send me.
Yeah and plus you'd have to leave Dylan.
- What about me? I'm leaving David.
- This is different.
Brenda and Dylan are living together.
They're making a statement, a beautiful statement.
How's it going? It couldn't be better.
I'm telling you, Brandon, she's making me crazy.
- I kind of got that last night.
- You don't know the half of it.
To be truthful, I don't wanna know the half of it.
I don't wanna know any of it.
It's one thing if you're putting down my old man, but when it comes to my sister, I don't wanna hear it.
Oh, don't get me wrong, man.
I love your sister, but was she always so into ironing everything? - Only when she gets depressed.
- Oh, that's terrific.
Look at it this way, you could always ship her home.
No, I can't, man.
There's a major principle involved here.
And what principle is that, Dylan? Misery loves company? Hi, Mom.
Brenda.
Kelly said you were at the Beach Club yesterday asking about me.
So I wanted to stop in and assure you that I am alive and well and despite our recent fall out with you guys that everything's great.
I'm very happy about my decision.
- Which decision is that? - To be with Dylan in the open.
As a matter of fact, I'm happier than I've been in a long time.
Probably my whole life.
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
- I am.
- I'm glad.
It's not always easy though.
Well, what's not easy? You know, life, day-to-day routine.
You know, the place looks the same.
Feels different though.
I guess that's because I'm not here anymore.
You're here now.
I can't stay, Mom.
Not under his rules.
Not until he can show me a little respect.
Respect is something you earn, Brenda.
Listen, before I forget, I got a couple of cassettes on how to speak French for Kelly and Donna.
Oh, just Donna.
Kelly decided to stay in town with Jackie and baby Erin for the summer.
Really? Yeah, can you believe it? I mean, I'm sure the baby is cute and all, but if it were me, I would give anything to be able to study in Paris.
Well, I hope you know what you're doing with Dylan, honey.
Just lock the door when you leave.
- Where are you going? - The Beach Club.
Have a nice day.
- Brandon.
- Hey, man.
Just in time to grab your own wheels.
The girls aren't here yet.
Yeah.
There's a little proposition I'd like to float by you before they get here.
Why do I feel I'm not gonna like this? Oh, you're gonna love it.
Convincing them to go along with it, that's gonna be the tricky part.
Go on.
Okay, today we do everything like we've planned.
I'm with Rory.
You're with Claire.
We hang out, we go to the movies.
But tomorrow we pull the old switcheroo.
I'll be with Claire and you be with Rory.
- How does that grab you? - I don't know, Steve.
Brandon, come on, this is pure Fantasy Island time.
Two for the price of one.
That way, if one of them turns out to be a dud, neither one of us has to suffer.
Wait a second.
Didn't you go out with Rory last night? Yeah.
What, was it a total disaster? Oh, no, no, no.
She's a great girl, she's tons of fun.
But? But we spent most of the evening in the emergency room at Cedars.
She thought she had food poisoning.
They didn't pump her stomach, but what a way to get acquainted.
Who the hell goes to a crab house and orders squid, you know? You shouldn't be laughing.
This wouldn't be that funny - if it happened to you.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
You know, Walsh, you got a real mean streak.
You know that, don't you? I'm sorry.
So how's the patient? Well, she's more embarrassed than anything else, but she'll be fine.
She just has to lie down for a while.
Well, I'll lie down with her if it'll make her feel better.
I bet you would.
- Listen, are you hungry? - Starving.
Order me something yummy and I'll meet you up on the deck.
Cool.
You are a lucky guy, Walsh.
You meet a girl and immediately you get karma for life.
I meet a beautiful damsel in distress and it turns out I'm the one in distress.
Rory's cool.
She's just having a bad run of luck.
Being in the sun was too intense for her.
- Wanna trade? - Don't be a jerk, all right? We're all gonna go out tonight.
We're gonna have a great time.
- You'll see.
Everything will be fine.
- Yeah.
She was here? You didn't lock her in the basement? We don't have a basement, Jim.
- Well, we should get one.
- Look, I felt the same way you do until it dawned on me why she came over here.
She came here to raid our refrigerator and bring clothes back to Dylan's house.
She was looking for a way to make peace, Jim.
How can you say that? Did she apologise? Did she express any concern for our feelings? Did she do anything other than insult you and announce that she will never live in this house under our rules again? Fine.
If all you wanna do is escalate the battle, then by all means, call your lawyer friend and go on the attack.
But if you have any interest in regaining the love and loyalty of the only daughter we're gonna have in this lifetime, then I strongly suggest that you sit down and listen to what I have to say for a change.
I'm listening.
Hallelujah.
Was I supposed to bring home dinner? I don't know.
Were you? Who cares, right? - I care.
- Yeah, you do.
Do you need me to go to the market? Dylan, I just want you to hold me.
Oh, baby.
- What are we doing? - I don't know.
But whatever we're doing, Bren, we gotta stop.
I mean, we gotta stop pretending that we're married, or we're gonna get a divorce.
- I saw my mother today.
- Where? My house.
And then she had to go and I was there all by myself.
So I went upstairs and sat in my father's chair.
For the first time, I started thinking that maybe my family would've been better off if we had just stayed in Minnesota.
Then I started thinking about you.
And there's just one thing.
Well, you're feeling much better, aren't you? You slept it off most of the day.
The swelling's down.
You haven't eaten shellfish in 24 hours.
Look, I don't know, I honestly think we may have turned a corner here.
What? What's wrong? I'm having an attack of sinusitis.
What's wrong? It's from the trustees of the estate of Dylan McKay.
It's a summons to appear in your father's office tomorrow, 12:00.
What for? He's going after my money.
He's informed the bank that he's considering freezing my accounts.
What does that mean? That means he's playing for keeps.
Brandon, what's fair is fair.
And what's stupid and insulting is stupid and insulting.
Okay, now we all know who got the stupid one.
Steve, if you wanna go out with Claire, just call her up and ask her.
I don't care.
I'm not gonna make a stink about some girl who's going back to Florida in a couple days.
But don't make me go out with Rory just because you got some fantasy thing about twins.
What if Rory wants to go out with you? I guarantee you something.
If you call Rory and tell her you wanna pull a little switcheroo, her and her sister will be so insulted, neither of them will talk to us again.
You wanna bet? Six-thirty going once.
Six-thirty going twice.
Sold to the cute girl from Fort Lauderdale.
- Steve, get off the phone.
- All right.
So I'll see you then.
And please tell Rory I'm glad she's feeling better.
Yeah, you never know.
She and Brandon just may hit it off.
- Steve.
- I'll see you around 6:30.
Bye, babe.
Refresh my memory.
Did we have a little wager on this deal here? Tell me, how'd you know they'd go for it? Even when you were with Claire, I sensed there was some chemistry going on between us.
I would've said something, but I didn't wanna get into a competitive thing with you over some girl.
Oh, no.
Not you, Steve.
Six-thirty.
Mind if I join you? Go ahead.
Donna, when you going to Europe? - Day after tomorrow.
- Well, are you all packed? - Oh, my God.
- What did I say? You have to come with me, David.
That's all there is to it.
I'd get on that plane in a minute if I could, but if there's any hope of me graduating early I've gotta go to summer school and get my math and science requirements out of the way.
I really feel for you, Donna.
I can't believe Kelly's gonna shy on Europe just so she can stay home and moon over some baby.
- She's really flipped out.
- No, she hasn't.
I mean, Paris is Paris, but you have to admit, it's an awfully cute baby.
Yeah, my mom's breast-feeding.
It's hard to do all the feedings without getting sleep deprivation, so I give her her bottle at the 4:00 shift.
- Four o'clock in the morning? - Yeah, but it's worth it.
I get to spend a lot of private time with the baby.
Bren, you have to meet her.
She is so alert.
So precious.
I could just eat her up.
Yeah, well, I can't wait.
Look, I've gotta get off.
- Well, call me later.
- I will.
Well, here goes nothing.
No, here goes a lot.
Look, the fact that you're going to my father's office to stand up for what's right means more than you'll ever know.
Brenda, your father is my trustee.
He sent me a summons.
It's not like I have a choice.
But if you did have a choice, I know you'd be there for me.
It's come to the attention of the trust that you are currently cohabitating with a minor.
And you are aware that she is under 18.
All right.
As the officer sworn to protect and maintain the integrity of your estate, it is my obligation not to accept any conduct on your part which puts the estate at risk.
And, by harbouring a minor, you are technically committing statutory rape.
I knew it.
Therefore, according to the terms of the trust, I am left with no choice but to impound any and all assets of the trust until you cease and desist in engaging in any activity which is not in the best interest of the trust.
Oh, come on, man.
You got a lot of other options instead of going after me, you just choose not to acknowledge them.
It is not my fault that you can't communicate with your daughter.
You're right, it's not your fault.
It's your problem.
What was I supposed to do? She showed up on my doorstep.
I didn't want her to move in.
I knew it was a mistake.
I knew it'd make you crazy.
And the fact is, my place just isn't all that big.
Things are getting a little bit cramped over there, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, they are.
All right.
Here's the deal.
Brenda is gonna be offered the chance to study in Paris this summer.
If you don't stand in her way, but instead help Cindy and me to convince her that it's in her best interest to go, well, everyone's problem might just go away.
That's blackmail.
We choose to think of it as creative parenting.
Steve.
Brandon, get dressed.
The girls will be here any minute.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
As a self-respecting twin, I can't go through with this switcheroo thing.
Well, it's a little late for that now, Brandon.
Look, why don't you go out with Claire and have a good time.
I'll break it with Rory.
Whatever.
I just never figured you for a PG-13 kind of guy.
Rory, Brandon's over there.
- Hi, Rory.
- Hi, Brandon.
Listen, this is gonna sound absurd but You're not Rory.
Someone's gotta teach him a lesson.
Well, we can go to dinner now or we could go upstairs to my mom's cabana and watch the sunset.
It's a killer view.
What do you say, Claire? Let's go for it, big boy.
Hey.
Why didn't you call? I've been climbing the walls.
After the meeting, I just got in the car and drove.
It was that bad, huh? Actually, no.
I just needed some time to sort a few things out.
- You know your red dress? - Yeah.
Put it on.
- We're going out? - Dinner at your parents' house.
We have to be there in about half an hour.
No way.
Not with the way my father's been treating us.
- Brenda.
- Dylan, no.
The way he's been hassling you about your estate, I don't wanna go over there ever again.
That's that.
No, Bren, that is not that.
Wait till you taste my patented mucho marvellous mango margaritas.
Hey, if you're gonna be drinking, I don't wanna be driving with you.
Well, in that case, we'll just have to stay here all night.
Oh, that ought to be interesting.
I've wanted to do that since I first saw you.
Hey, didn't you say the same thing to Rory the night you took her to the crab house? No, no.
Rory and I had nothing going on.
She's a good sport.
She's boring.
You think so? Yeah.
She's not nearly as hot or sexy as you are.
Let's do it.
Let's go for it.
Come on, Claire.
I'm not Claire, you dumb guy.
I'm Rory.
What? You are such a slimy seal.
You couldn't even tell the difference.
Good timing.
Just took the fish off the grill.
I'm not hungry.
Well, why don't you come in anyway.
As long as you both understand the only reason I'm here is because Dylan asked me.
It's nice to see you too, sweetie.
Brenda, can I speak to you for a minute, please? Look, I know you're angry, but could you please try not to say something you're gonna regret later? Fine.
I won't say anything at all.
- Sauce is delicious, dear.
- Thank you.
It's a pink béarnaise.
It's made with tomatoes and peppers and zucchini.
Sounds very original.
Well, it's from my authentic April in Paris cookbook.
Ought to give it to Donna.
Or to you.
What? Do you have the envelope? This is a roundtrip ticket to Paris.
Look, has your name on it.
And I understand there's a lycée on the Rue des Jardins that is holding a place for you under the name of Kelly Taylor.
You're actually sending me to Paris? Well, it gives us some breathing space and a way to start all over again when you get back.
And a clever way to keep me from Dylan.
- Brenda.
- That's what this is all about, isn't it? A bribe.
A way to buy my love.
This is so Beverly Hills.
I can't believe I'm sitting in the same room with you.
Bren.
Have any other suggestions? Brenda, you gotta calm down.
I'll be fine as soon as I get out of this house.
No, listen to me.
You're not thinking clearly here.
If I'm not, Dylan, it's because of them.
Look, they are manipulative.
They are arrogant.
They are mean.
Well, yeah, they're your parents.
But, Bren, they're not perfect, okay? So who is? - Listen to you.
- I'm being realistic here, okay? So, what if your father's motives are bogus and heavy-handed? So, what if he's trying to set our agenda for us? We are talking about a chance to see Paris, okay? I've been there, you haven't, and I think that you're making a mistake if you let this opportunity to see that part of the world slip by just because your father pushes you too hard and doesn't know when to let go.
Do you know what I'm saying? Look, Brenda, it's obvious that you are as frustrated and angry with us as we are with you.
But you should know that sending you to Paris was my brilliant idea, not your father's.
In fact, he predicted you'd see it as a ploy to keep you and Dylan apart.
Are you telling me that the thought never even entered into your mind? Look, maybe it did, but I just don't wanna see you make the same mistake I did.
Oh, come on, Mom.
You and dad lived together before you got married.
You guys managed to survive.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about Look.
When I was in college, I was gonna spend my junior year at the Sorbonne in Paris and then I met your father and I decided to stay in Minnesota.
Well, everybody thought I was a complete fool, but I insisted that I knew exactly what I was doing.
I'd have plenty of time to travel after I graduated.
And of course, 20 years later, I've never been to Paris or London or anywhere, really.
Except Beverly Hills.
So are you saying I could still go to Paris if I wanted to? Well, it's probably easier to send you to Paris than to keep you locked up in the basement for the summer.
Especially considering we don't have a basement.
Look, honey, whether you go or not, we're gonna get through this.
We really will.
So you just let us know what you wanna do.
Why are things always so complicated? I don't know, seems pretty simple to me, really.
You just get on a plane and have the time of your life.
- What about us? - Us? Well, if our relationship can't stand six weeks without seeing each other, maybe your father's right.
We don't belong together.
Dylan.
Jim.
I understand my daughter's gonna be on a plane tomorrow.
Got what you wanted.
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
With Brenda, one learns to distinguish between what you want and what you get.
You can say that again.
In any event, I think having her go to Paris might just be the best thing for all of us.
It's the best thing for Brenda and that's why I went along with it and didn't tell her about the little chat in your office today.
I appreciate that.
In the future, I would appreciate it, regardless of what happens with me and Brenda or you and Brenda, if you want something from me, you don't have to put a loaded gun on my head.
Just ask me.
Okay.
See you around.
Take care of yourself, son.
So Brenda lies to my parents, throws temper tantrums, runs away to Dylan's house.
What does she get for her punishment? She gets to go spend the summer in Paris.
- What's wrong with this picture? - It's a strange world.
And it's getting stranger every day.
Yeah.
Maybe I should just get drunk and crash my car again.
Or better yet, get a couple of hookers and have a little orgy in front of Jim and Cindy.
Just make sure they're not twins.
Rory laid it on pretty thick, huh? Yeah.
I'd say it ranked as one of the top 10 most humiliating moments in my life.
And I wonder why I'm lonely.
Well, hey, buddy, I guarantee you by the end of this summer, we're gonna find you a woman if it's the last thing we do.
- Hi, guys.
- Oh, hey, Andrea.
Listen, my parents are having a little bon voyage party for Brenda because she's going to Paris for the summer Lucky girl.
Say goodbye to her for me, okay? - Jay.
I'm sorry, I gotta go, bye.
- Okay.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hard to believe Andrea's still going out with Jay Thurman.
He's the former editor of the Blaze, you know.
I know who he is, Steve, thanks.
You know what we're gonna do after we find you a girl? What? We gotta find me one too.
Obviously, these past few weeks have been very rocky.
Frankly, life's too short to be fighting with you all the time.
I know.
Gonna be a senior next year.
Gonna be going to college.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
It's no fun going through life without the love and support of your parents.
Believe me, I know what that feels like.
So when you're in Paris this summer, I would hope that you'll think long and hard about the kind of relationship you wanna have with me and your mother and your brother and if I don't stop talking, you're gonna miss the plane.
Thanks, Daddy.
Not just for sending me, but for giving me another chance.
I'll write you every day and I'll call you every Sunday morning.
Or maybe Sunday night.
Depends on if the rates change.
- Call me anytime, I'll be here.
- Okay.
- Have a safe trip.
- Okay.
Bye.
You do lead a charmed life, you know that.
Take care of them for me, will you? You take care of yourself.
Bye, Brandon.
Have fun, okay? I can't believe this is really happening.
Me neither.
Now I've gotta start doing my own laundry again.
I'll miss you too, Dylan.
Go on.
Just don't fall in love over there, okay? That goes for you too.
Oh, God.
Are you sad? Petrified.
I hate flying.
Just think, Kel, you could've been on that van.
Yep.
I bet Jake's glad you're staying in town.
I don't know.
We might get together sometime.
Oh, Kelly.
Hey, I might even get together with you.
Really? I might just hold you to that.