Billions (2016) s03e02 Episode Script
The Wrong Maria Gonzalez
1 [Wags.]
Previously on "Billions" [Axe.]
You know those poison-tip arrows that go through one guy and kill another? [Axe.]
As long as it doesn't come from you.
You get someone else to ask her.
Won't track back to me.
[Axe.]
You come through for me, I'll pay off your house.
People are getting sick on Ice Juice.
[Chuck.]
Freezing the assets? Now, that's an Ivan Koloff bear hug you're putting on the man.
You're squeezing the breath out of him.
But now you owe me.
A favor to be named later.
Back channeling, patronage.
I lost my taste for it.
Just don't forget, it was the back channels and deal-making that put you in that position.
Remind me again, and it's the last meal we share.
It is still Axe Capital, no matter who's making the day-to-day decisions.
Are you sure? I know it's Axe's faith that confers value on me until I have a track record of my own.
Unless it becomes necessary, I will not leave.
I'm holding in my hand Robert Axelrod's signature relinquishing his ability to trade securities.
Well ol' Samson got a real buzz cut.
dramatic music Counting Crows "Round Here" Step out the front door like a ghost into a fog Where no one notices the contrast Of white on white In between the moon and you, the angels get a better view Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right Well, I walk in the air - Hold on.
- Between the rain Through myself and back again Where? I don't know Maria says she's dying Bobby.
Are you okay? [Axe.]
I went down to the crossroads.
What? [Axe.]
I made a mistake.
The deal.
I can't do it not trade.
I've worked my entire life putting myself in a position where I would be truly free no limits, nothing I couldn't do.
And with one signature, I've stripped myself of all of that.
It wasn't the signature that did it.
It was the living like there were no rules.
That's what made the signature necessary.
[Chuck.]
Wendy? You all right? Yeah.
Don't wake up the kids.
I'll be right up.
I can't do this now.
[Wendy.]
Realize that limits, constraints, they can be useful.
Letting someone else run Axe Capital gives you a chance to realign who you are.
To get good at letting go.
Which is a different kind of freedom.
A more powerful kind of freedom.
Now go to sleep.
Even if it were a good idea, which it's not, there is nothing you can do to regain control at this hour.
[sighs.]
dramatic music - - We need to meet.
[Axe.]
These fuckers can take away my ability to trade but not my ability to see.
Insightful guy like you, how you gonna turn it off? I'm not.
I can't.
I don't want to.
If you can't trade on the insights, who can? Only those who I have reason to trust absolutely.
- And that's me.
- It better be.
Because no one can know I'm behind any of these trades.
Well, our doors wouldn't be open if it wasn't for your, um, let's say goodwill.
And when we're done, those doors are gonna open on to a much bigger shop.
Been hoping to hear from you.
I've been wanting to expand, but I've never been great at the raise.
That'll no longer be a problem for Old Oaks Investments.
Your money is always good here.
You can't direct funds, so how's this work? Let's dive the fuck in.
I'll be in touch.
dramatic music - So, this is the way it's done? - Yeah.
And there's really nothing we can do but Hope the wheel of fate favors us.
dramatic music Welcome to old New York, where judicial assignment's still determined by the spin of a wheel.
Hey, it beats having Chief Judge Morgenstern make 'em after a long night of gin at the goulash joint.
- Drinking or playing? - Both.
[humming.]
For the United States v.
Robert Axelrod [papers rustling.]
Judge Leonard Funt.
Do I have to say it? You really don't.
You just got Funted.
Ha! [laughs.]
[laughing continues in distance.]
How bad is this? Funt is a true believer in the power of a free market.
Old school Libertarian.
He's the best friend Bobby Axelrod could have on the bench.
Well, if Connerty builds the case right, the judge doesn't matter.
Wrong.
You need to find a way to get Funt off the case.
So the wheel spits out another name? No.
Only one spin, then it's up to Chief Judge Morgenstern.
The other judges lobby him, depending on if they want on or off.
So you need to stunt that process.
That is tampering twice over.
No.
It's finesse.
[inhales sharply.]
I don't break promises, so our unappetizing deal holds.
- Mm.
- But it will not expand.
Fate has dealt our hand.
Now we play it.
[bell dings, car horn honks.]
[Wendy.]
Chuck.
What couldn't be talked about on the phone? We got judge-fucked in the Axelrod case.
And, uh, I don't mean "We, the people," I mean We.
Our family.
- Fuck.
- Yeah.
We need a judge who believes that the rich have gotten away with too much for too long.
And one who won't allow Axelrod to create a distraction by alleging I set up a roach motel and lured him in.
Axe can't do that without essentially admitting his guilt.
I know.
That's one of the things keeping me up at night.
You know what I risked what I gave up to get him.
What would he give to get me? Everything.
[sighs.]
Well, the judge we drew is Leonard Edward Funt.
Isn't that good news? Doesn't he owe you Yes, there is a debt.
I once did him a kindness.
But back then, during a case, I tried to allude to the favor in conference, and that man hammered me for even hinting at it.
[scoffs.]
Seemed to grow larger as he talked, the way some men can when they're not pretending to dignity and honor but they're actually made of the stuff.
You withdrew the request? I did.
And I fear it would be even worse today.
See, if he wouldn't return a favor back when it was fresh, why would he do so now? But that's not what happened, is it? He didn't actually refuse.
He didn't say no.
Not in so many words.
What he did was: spare himself the question by putting a tougher one to you.
It's about will, Chuck.
Impose your will on him until he does what he needs to and repays the debt.
Why, you are a marvel.
Go.
Do what you have to do.
dramatic music I've recently invested nine billion of Axe Cap's money back into the market.
In phases.
And now when it's time for the next phase, another two billion You can't.
Why? There's a velvet rope around it.
So to speak.
What's actually around it? A directive from Axe that the money remain untouched.
Is he considering moving the funds or deploying them elsewhere? Never mind.
You don't know.
Don't I? Maybe Axe is hedging.
Against the main fund? Against you.
dramatic music [door opens.]
Ah.
The two billion.
I told them: velvet rope.
Spoken like a man who's still mad he never got into Xenon.
I'm on it, Taylor.
[cellphone beeps.]
This is clean.
And it does what you need, how you need.
Tracks it all in real time.
We've also swept the apartment.
There are no listening devices, no visual recording devices, no compromising devices of any kind.
But guests leave eyes and ears, so we should sweep often.
- Who else visits? - The women.
Wand them.
He will.
So, this is the Counter Intel team, the new Halls.
I don't think they care for that.
Why should I trust you to do anything other than point me to the nearest avocado toast? For whom have you worked? Is this just a walk on the wild side to spice up the b-school essays? How much you doing this for the money? You can answer him.
In re bona fides, John built the code for four successful startups in high school then Stanford, then was asked to travel to 71 countries for DARPA and Other Government Agency, all which he did without complaint.
And Timmy Dones has a military background.
What fucking war were you in? Mr.
Hall fought the wars you've heard of.
I fought the ones you haven't.
As for your other questions.
It's none of your business, smashed spring pea toast is the new avocado toast, and 70 percent.
Are we clear to talk to Mr.
Wagner going forward? Discuss anything except women you care about.
Yeah, so, the two billion.
Ah, and here I was thinking you came to keep me company.
Look, I know you're giving it to outside funds, not on the surface.
It'll get routed around the world first, but then it will land in certain funds, and suddenly they'll get hot as Farrah Fawcett in '76.
Don't do it.
One errant e-mail, one recorded call, one trade that tracks back to you and it's Hassan chop! We're done.
All of us.
There's no need for it, bwana.
Satisfy your urges some other way.
Buy yourself something.
I bought it all already.
Probably thrown it out.
What about that vintage Cheetah you've been eyeballing? Look, this is not a message I'm born to carry.
It goes against everything I've built my life on.
But for you, holding back is essential right now.
You're right about hiding the money.
That's too dangerous.
What if I didn't? - Huh? - I could have Taylor move it, on-the-books, perfectly legal disbursements to outside shops.
Bobby that's right, I'm not calling you "Mr.
President," I'm calling you "Bobby" because I've never used your first name and I want to underline how serious this moment is.
You've called me Bobby before.
Strategic mistake, but not nearly as big as the one you're making if you ask Taylor to do this.
They have nothing to gain by going along.
They get to keep their princely fucking job.
If you fire them, it will look like what it is.
And you can't have it appear you're illegally meddling.
Especially when you're illegally meddling.
- My point - I get your point.
So you won't take the two billion? I get your point.
Let's leave it at that.
Ah! If it isn't George and Edward.
Which one of you will give up the throne for love? That seems like a stupid reason.
You must be George.
Are you coming to our game later, Uncle Wags? Is it official Little League? - Yeah.
- Can't.
Banned for life.
Well, here we are on the Axelrod case together, so, you know, we got our fairy tale ending after all.
You been working out? You look like you've been working out.
There's no good way to answer that question.
Is it ping pong? You back at the tables? Uh, can I get a lawyer? [tires screech.]
Excuse me, Ms.
Gonzalez Special Agent Terri McCue, FBI.
Uh, me llamo Bryan Connerty, uh, Federal prosecutor.
He's also second alternate at the World Table Tennis Championships.
I'm really not that good.
Ms.
Gonzalez, we don't care about your immigration status.
That's not what we do.
We may even be able to help you if you cooperate with us.
We want to speak to you about your boss, Victor Mateo.
[Guatemalan accent.]
Mr.
Victor, he's very good.
He and his wife, they sponsor me for the green card, so I don't need help.
You're not eligible for a green card if you've committed a crime.
A crime? No.
No, no, no.
Let's put it up on the colortini.
[gasps.]
That couple near you snapping selfies were undercover agents.
Mr.
Victor made me do it.
Did Mr.
Victor give you the vial? Did he pay you? It was someone else.
A woman.
But I know that it was for him.
Him and his wife, son monstruos.
One time I drop a glass licorera Baccarat.
Then Missus, she break the tail light to my car to punish.
I had to drive home afraid that I get pulled over and sent back to Guatemala.
Now I take the bus.
I want to know how it worked.
When and where The way that Mr.
Victor and his wife are I can't be late.
Or do I have to tell them No, no, no.
Don't don't say anything.
After work, you'll come to my office and give a statement.
Lo prometo.
[bird chirping.]
[vacuum whirring.]
[Axe.]
Yeah, what is it? [Victor.]
My maid was late today.
She's never late.
We have a real problem.
We need to meet.
Group of guys who own this car, it's a smaller club than the one that owns NBA teams, only 29 ever built.
Which is exactly why I'm buying it.
Which is why I'm gonna let you outbid me.
[laughs.]
Thanks.
Sounds like you want something.
I do.
I want in on the new shit.
You're raising money for new ventures, count me in.
Thanks, but I'm not looking to give up any more equity.
You're saying no to money? Look, Axe, let me answer the question you didn't ask, and this pains me to say I don't want your money.
I've got too many eyes on me, and I can't be anywhere near the shit show you're in the middle of right now.
Noted.
Michael Panay.
You haven't gone home with a car this year.
Is it the one you had your heart set on all along? If Bill Thomas built a toaster, I'd skip work to buy that.
But you won't actually buy this car, will you? Because you've been downsizing, hoping no one would see.
[laughs.]
We're not downsizing.
I was on the other side of the Alperin trade.
I know how much you lost.
Well, I know you're not exactly trending in the right direction, either.
Maybe we help each other.
I lead the early bidding, knock out the dabblers, then you swoop in at your desired price.
What's your number? Mike, I'd pedal the fucking Flintstones car before I went in on this with you.
dramatic music You sure? I know my people.
She's been approached.
I'll handle it.
You know what this means, don't you? They'll be coming for the others.
[door opens.]
If that bursts into flame, I'm denouncing you to Governor Danforth.
It's a focus exercise.
And Danforth is just in the play.
At the real Salem trials, the judge was William Stoughton.
Careful, that sounds like something a witch would know.
Also: We're looking good on the two billion.
Now that got you focused.
I'm here to break the glass.
In case of emergency, you know? Breathe, then talk.
We're getting hit by a tsunami.
- Shit.
Did the Fed hike - No.
Actual tsunami.
In Brazil.
No way.
Brazil doesn't have tsunamis.
The worst they get is ressacas do mar.
"Sea hangover.
" Am I the only person here who's loved a Portuguese woman? Brazil does not normally have tsunamis.
Black swan event.
How heavy are we in Brazil? Jim Morrison at the end.
Our newly redeployed funds are affected in dozens of different ways, among the most notable, - Brazilian sugar and shipping.
- So we buy sugar futures.
Impending shortage means prices go up.
Everyone will do that, but sure.
A few of the moves I'm already making.
Shorting Brazil's largest debt holder, buying long-dated VIX calls.
Also buying solar, wind, and every alternative energy play not dependent on government subsidy.
Um, is no one worried about the people, you know, in Brazil? If you want to pretend you're concerned, see Wendy.
He's not pretending, Wags.
If you really care, start a walk-a-thon.
Tough Mudders are the new walk-a-thons.
But don't bring that shit to me.
Our own foundation was set up for just these situations as a kind of emotional and fiscal catch-all for you to use as a tool for you to get your conscience out of the way.
I wondered why you showed at this meeting, you fucking vulture.
What would salve my conscience and my wallet is if I was a fucking contractor in Brazil.
Too bad their leading construction company's a scandal factory.
Can't get into bed with a firm that's had almost 100 executives indicted.
Our principal has been indicted.
If it's a money-maker, we do it.
Legal trouble does not mean you can't fulfill your teleological purpose.
We're on the clock, people.
Now's the time to earn your paychecks.
[siren wails in distance.]
[door opens.]
There's something I always wondered: Why aren't you Charlie? - [sighs.]
- Feels like you would have - been a great Charlie.
- No, I agree.
Oh, Charlie Rhoades, yeah, that guy's yer best friend.
- Yeah.
- Right? Sure.
Call ol' Charlie, see if he can fill in, uh, as a fourth for tennis or on a double date or just ride around smashing mailboxes.
Yeah.
Charlie.
The best.
But in our household, my father was Charles.
And every now and then someone, business associate, the guy who managed one of his buildings, who would get just a little casual, accidentally let a Charlie fly.
The world would stop dead.
"Do I look like a fucking 'Charlie' to you?" [scoffs.]
And that was that.
The guy would piss himself, and the day would continue.
So, he was Charles, and you were Chuck.
And Good Time Charlie was somewhere else out on the town having all the laughs.
Christ, man.
Don't I know it.
And how 'bout now? You just show up in my chambers for the laughs.
No.
No.
I am here in your chambers to put myself in your debt.
In my debt.
That's right.
I was thinking back to our last meal together, wherein you told me I ought never mention the favor I had done you again.
And I promised then, and I intend to keep that promise.
And so I am here to ask of you a favor, not as repayment to me but the opposite.
Oh, this must be big.
Judge Funt is stepping off the Axelrod case.
No one knows.
And when he does, Morgenstern will make a special appointment of the judge who convinces him he most wants the case.
As often as not, that's the first judge to ask.
And you need that to be me.
We'll time it out so it will be.
Now, there are those that would frame this as a favor for you, because it's a marquee case.
But I won't.
You would be doing me a service.
And all you're asking is that I be the judge, not that I rule in Dake's favor, not that I'd be slanted in any way.
That's right.
It's that straightforward.
Win.
Lose.
Draw.
I want you on that bench because I know you can't be bought.
You can't be bent.
You can't be worked.
Dake has a strong case.
I want it heard fairly and without prejudice.
And if I grant this request There is nothing you can ask me that I'll refuse you for the rest of our days.
If I agree, I would take those words as gospel, Chuck.
And I would not be bashful to collect, should the need arise.
I'd be honor bound to deliver.
That's too small a play.
It won't save us.
Keep looking.
Axe would be out on that floor screaming at them like Gordon Ramsay until they delivered.
Hm.
You're more Alton Brown.
The ideas they're bringing Some deployable, some useful as a benchmark of what other firms will be thinking and how we need to do better, but none platonically good.
Your first round of investments coinciding with your first crisis.
That would be a lot for anybody.
Axe was already considering sidecarring two billion.
And you think today will make the decision for him.
I am acutely aware of the way people look at me.
I have cultivated, through achievement and discipline, a mystique that compensates for my lack of track record.
A loss shatters that, and with it the confidence of everyone who works here.
In their eyes in Axe's eyes I become simply inexperienced.
I can't let that happen.
That's why I need to get through today unscathed.
The way you think Axe would.
It's important in your job that you face unpleasant realities.
Axe Capital may lose money today, probably will.
You know that, right? No.
dramatic music [Axe.]
Wags, I'm coming in.
The place is getting crushed without me.
Can I stop you? No.
You sure I can't stop you? You know that painting of Washington crossing the Delaware.
In the boat with all his troops? I forget what it's called.
I think it's called Washington Crossing The Delaware - You didn't forget.
- No.
And do you know why it's called that? Because at the moment that his troops were facing the sting of battle, Washington was right there with them, leaning into the wind.
Not back at home jerking off.
I'll admit, Washington Crossing the Delaware would look pretty fucking strange without George Washington.
Then how can you ask me not to be with my troops right now? Well, Washington was allowed to talk to his men.
He was allowed to lead.
When we walk out of this elevator, you're gonna see it is quite a different situation.
But it is what's required under your deal.
[elevator chimes.]
This is Ari Spyros, Director of Compliance and Risk Management for Axe Capital.
It's 12:09 p.
m.
I am here with Robert Axelrod and will stay with him anywhere he goes inside these walls, ensuring compliance with his preclusion from the secur I'm looking at small sugar companies in Asia.
We pick one invest in it, grow it, help it.
Not a big fan of Oh, shit.
dramatic music What do you think he'd say about that? Bobby Axelrod doesn't grow mom-and-pop shops.
He buys 'em out, turns 'em out.
That can't happen with this one.
Hmm.
Well, then it sounds like your idea doesn't fucking work.
dramatic music Whoo.
[groans, sighs.]
Um Oh, I don't like nothing between me and the water.
We called first.
You knew we were coming.
Yeah, doc says I gotta swim.
Right.
We need to talk to you about About some unexplained coincidences.
If I can sort you out In the last year, your house was paid off.
Yeah, my wife came into some money.
Mm.
And your kids, they stopped taking student loans.
Marcie's dorm room business, it's really taking off.
I'm sorry, do you do you want a towel, or - I'm good.
- You're fair.
So, you got sick from Ice Juice.
The person behind its poisoning was Bobby Axelrod, the same man you tried to cooperate against.
You think he targeted me deliberately? [chuckles.]
Wow, that's a long road to travel for revenge.
But if he did it, I hope you nail him.
That juice made me puke so hard I bust a lung.
Hence the swimming.
[sighs.]
Anything else? Okay.
Drop by any time.
Guy flashes a little brain, and you turn into Dudley Do-Right? I thought under the circumstances I acquitted myself admirably.
A lot of people think you can't get a good flat white outside of Australia.
They forget, there's no such thing as a good store-bought flat white.
It's the tongue temperature.
[cellphone vibrates.]
Oh, please, I'd love to hear more of your expertise on flat whites.
[Margolis.]
So I just had a fun little poolside chat with some friends who are very curious about you, me, and beverages.
[Axe.]
Thanks.
[indistinct talking.]
dramatic music Oh, shit, he's leaving.
[door opens.]
[Axe.]
Hey, Mafee.
You sure a lunch break's the thing right now? Nothing urgent that you should be getting Are you testing me? Like that waiter in 'Club? I'm not allowed to talk to you about this.
Right? I'm not? Or do you want me to, because dramatic music Hey.
Hey.
Got any summer plans? No.
Guess Lara and I will need to talk about it.
The kids.
I don't like to go far.
We got a spot in Mystic.
While the family's looking at the boats and shit, I can play a little pai gow.
[Spyros.]
I was planning to go back and climb Kili.
How much vacay time is it culturally appropriate to take here? Ah, maybe I'll just do base camp.
- Korst.
- Scandinavian shipping company.
While the South American companies are down for the count, these guys will have a shot at a monopoly.
- We should buy in two days.
- Four days, when it bottoms.
But this is going to help dig us out a little more.
Good work.
[keyboard keys clacking.]
Will you make sure Axe knows it came from me? Why would you think we're communicating about trades? What? That would be illegal.
I know.
But What are you saying about me? What are you saying about the place you work? Actually, if he hates it, that would be worse.
Don't say anything.
It is now 1:47 on the 9th day of [door opens.]
- Really? - What? I'm sitting in my office, which I paid for, seeing how things run without me.
Won't work.
People are afraid to take chances with you here.
To be wrong.
Or they want a slap on the ass from you.
Which you can't give.
Move over, Zapruder.
I got this.
Actually, I think this falls within my dominion, and the stick can be really tricky for noobs [device screeches.]
Hmm.
Guess it was tricky.
Why didn't you anticipate the tsunami? Maybe I should have when that underground earthquake hit off Mozambique.
Strange conditions bring strange results.
That's what brought this on.
You knew right then but you couldn't act.
Maybe you would have used your experience to think more globally.
Maybe you would have been cautious.
De-risked.
The mature move.
Is that a dig? It's not.
You have more experience.
You connect points I don't even know to look for.
I understand how hard it is to have things inside you that you can't communicate.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to know how to say them and still not be allowed to.
And yet, you are not allowed to.
Have you heard me direct any trades? The people out there don't know who they're looking to.
Since it can't be you, it needs to be me.
If you can't live with that, I can be the one who leaves.
You'll probably make up the losses but get yourself banned for life or worse.
I'm leaving, and I'm taking the two billion.
I'll send instructions shortly about what to do with it.
And at 1:53 p.
m.
, Robert Axelrod has left the building.
[car horn honks, siren wails.]
I'm glad I caught you.
You wouldn't have if my fucking car guy could time his job right.
Yeah, George Washington had the same problem leaving Trenton.
Wags told you? Texted me while you were rampaging through the office.
I wasn't rampaging.
I was inspiring.
You know Washington didn't actually - stand in the rowboat, right? - Of course.
Structurally unsound, and he'd have made himself a target.
Yet you worry about neither.
[car horn honks.]
It's hard to shut it off, Wend.
I know.
But if you can't, you will lose the battle and the war.
Do you want me to come with you? Stay here with Taylor.
They need some senior officer for back up.
[siren wails in distance.]
You're fired.
Find out when Judge Funt's court is in recess.
- Yep.
- [knock at door.]
A Mr.
Allerd is here for you.
I'm Karl Allerd, your new AUSA.
I think I'd remember if I hired a new line prosecutor.
Remember when Dake said there'd be a favor to be named? Ah.
You're the favor.
[scoffs.]
You don't trust me.
Hell, I wouldn't from your chair.
A Spy In the House Of Lords and so forth.
Yes.
So I'll earn your trust.
- Will you? - I look forward to seeing that trick.
That'll be a neat trick.
Ms.
Sacker, our Head of Crim, will get you situated.
- I will? - Mm.
Mm, I will.
Hey, I've been revising my idea.
There's a division of a struggling company in Thailand, that I think Wait, is this the sugar company? Is it, is this the same damn deal? No It's just one facet of the company that I think could be promising to look into.
It started out as a family business, and So this is this is the same deal.
- Not really - Kimmy, this piece of shit ain't Axe Cap.
[indistinct chatter.]
What are you working on? Nothing.
I want to see all Ben Kim's search results for the day.
You mean, like, browser results, or Everything he did today.
[Wags.]
Hey, you on your way home? Nope.
Chief.
You got to get on your way if you want to make it in time to take the princelings to Little League.
Have Bruce take 'em.
[Wags.]
You got it.
[indistinct chatter.]
[Lilly.]
He's been home three weekends this year.
I'm almost positive one of them was his assistant's mistake.
And he assumes I never say anything about him fucking his way through the entire New York pool.
But if you can leave Axe You give me courage, Lara.
You're smart, Lilly.
You had a career for a second.
You know your shopper isn't your friend, personal trainer doesn't think you're actually making progress, and all the charities you give money to don't actually honor you when they honor you.
But on some level, you believe every bit of it.
You think the attention you receive is deserved.
But when that fades, when every relationship in your life reveals itself to be a trade on your husband's net worth, you may say "Fuck false friends," but you'll be hiring a PR rep the first time your Halloween costume isn't mentioned in Page Six.
So keep your own courage, Lilly.
And while you're at it, consider keeping that husband.
Because while he may not give you what you think you want, he lets you keep on being Mrs.
Keith Currier Smith, and I'm pretty sure that's what you need.
Now you're trying to decide whether to be pissed or grateful.
Definitely grateful.
[helicopter flies in distance.]
Whoa! [laughter.]
[shouts indistinctly.]
Here you go.
Have fun.
Thanks, Bruce.
dramatic music We got your latest request.
It's a big lift.
Hard transfer.
International withdrawals and deposits like this do not get done same day.
- So? - It's not the sort of thing most clients ask for.
Especially not when they're drawing heat.
These are my needs.
Either you meet them or you can't.
We can get it done.
But this isn't a reusable pipeline.
Fine by me.
She's supposed to be here by 5:30.
- It's already - I know what time it is.
Call it in.
I'd like to have a person of interest picked up.
Gonzalez, Maria.
No Social.
Yeah.
D.
O.
B.
1/22/79.
[sighs.]
You think she got cold feet? I think that's best case.
You have her already.
That's great news.
Where? [mug clatters.]
Hold her.
She's mine.
She got picked up in an ICE sweep.
She's currently at the Varick Street Detention Center.
[indistinct chatter.]
[door buzzes.]
Are you gonna bring Maria? She's right there.
Who is that? Maria Gonzalez.
That may be a Maria Gonzalez, but that is not our Maria Gonzalez.
That is the wrong Maria Gonzalez.
Do you have someone else here with that name? We did until she was put on a goodbye charter from Newark Liberty.
It's got to be some bureaucratic screw-up.
No, it doesn't.
[keyboard keys clacking.]
Somebody knew she was gonna be picked up before we did and got to her info.
This has Axe written all over it.
dramatic music They deported the wrong Maria Gonzalez.
Our witness is on a plane that lands in 90 minutes.
We need her met on the ground in Guatemala and returned.
There are a lot of, uh, high-level, deeply uncomfortable calls required to make that happen.
DOJ.
DHS.
State.
And they all start with your boss.
I really don't want to call the Attorney General about this.
He's publicly stated this case matters to him.
Ollie, you're a bit of a rara avis, aren't you? You got no "hat," no one looking out for you, and yet you have risen.
Maybe it's because you have an immaculate record.
Some guys don't trust immaculate record.
I do.
I have an immaculate record.
Thank you, General.
[Jock.]
That was from a movie.
You don't watch movies, do you, Ollie? I re-watch The Decalogue every year.
Uh, well, I read what you sent me.
Just to make sure I have it straight: We got the wrong Guad? That is indeed the case.
Say it.
We got the wrong Guad.
But Maria Gonzalez, our Maria Gonzalez, is a key cooperator.
We need her back.
And since this is an extraordinary situation [Jock.]
Well, in one respect.
In another, it's just the way things are supposed to go.
The right Maria Gonzalez came into this country illegally, she stayed illegally, and she committed a fraud on the stockholders of that snake-bit juice company.
She is three times illegal.
That makes her removable, and she was removed.
Um [Jock.]
Next time instead of asking me to undo your fuck-up, maybe just see to it that the situation remains like our holy Mother of Mercy, blessedly un-fucked.
[receiver clicks.]
[receiver clatters.]
How'd that go? [door opens.]
Does Axe ever hesitate? [door closes.]
Why? I'm hesitating.
Can't pull the trigger.
Markets are closed.
Overseas play? Ben Kim found a big opportunity in Thailand.
A troubled public company with a promising sugar division.
He spotted a good target but just couldn't quite figure out how to hit it or didn't have the courage to shoot at it.
We need to keep working with him on that.
But you see the play? Yes.
A PIPE.
Private investment in public equity.
Basically, we take ownership of a spin-off, and a commission from brokering its sale.
So, why the hesitation? It will be the single largest investment I've made as CIO, and a type Axe Cap has never made before.
If you make this move, where do you end up for the day? Unscathed? This would lock in a loss.
Yes.
The high-reward plays are all high-risk.
It's good you can't run it by Axe.
[papers rustle.]
Forces you to hear your own voice and trust it.
You'll probably do the right thing.
And when the day comes you get one wrong, that'll be good, too.
Because I'll realize I'm mortal and it's not so bad? Because it'll be fucking horrible and you'll do anything you can to avoid that feeling again.
Hey.
You know what, Bobby? I'm gonna do you a favor: You're off the hook.
If you don't want 50-50 custody, you don't need to have it.
I can tell other people it's 50-50, and I can come up with something to tell the boys, too.
Why the fuck do you think I don't want the kids? You had them for one day, at a time when you don't have to go to work, and you ditched them.
You let them be airlifted into Little League.
I mean, it was mortifying.
I didn't mean to embarrass them.
They weren't embarrassed.
They didn't know to be, which is a whole other thing.
You know, I don't know if you need to work on your case or go on a trip or become a fucking cobbler, but it doesn't seem like you are where you need to be.
And I'd offer to help, but my help doesn't seem to be what you want, either.
dramatic music [siren wails in the distance.]
I have everything positioned and ready, and yet Judge Funt still has the case on his docket.
My bag is packed, but I can't seem to walk out the door.
If I fail at this, everything is dashed.
[sighs.]
For then I will have ruined myself in his eyes and exposed my position.
Only a fool doesn't look at the downside.
But only a coward allows it to dissuade him from that which he knows he must do.
[Wendy.]
I know you're not a coward.
I don't like the sound of that word coming out of your mouth.
Neither do I.
I'll see you at home.
After.
[footsteps approaching.]
Chuck? No one takes this shortcut anymore.
This isn't your courthouse.
Are you lost? Oh, right where I need to be, Judge Funt, which is, unfortunately, in your way.
Ah.
The Axelrod case.
You had to know a day like this would come.
I never asked you You didn't have to.
Your son's doing well, I hope, made the most of his medical career.
[smacks lips.]
Yeah, he's a good doctor.
That's what I wanted for him.
[smacks lips.]
If he hadn't have supplied those future sons of Hippocrates with Adderall, some other med student would have.
I won't let you dictate my rulings.
The bench cannot be tainted by personal debts.
Name another favor.
I know that this is the biggest case that you've ever drawn.
Well, that's something that you would think about in my shoes, but I don't.
No, you wouldn't.
And you wouldn't hide in a hallway waiting to pounce when I walked by.
But I am not the man you are.
Oh.
You're not here to ask me to shade my rulings.
You're here to ask me to step off it.
It's a hard laydown.
And I'm asking you to lay it down.
[sighs.]
Ask yourself who you really are, Chuck.
Are you the man that's reduced to collecting debts of the soul like like old Mr.
Scratch? Well, as with all stories about that being, the debt is due, even if, especially if, it is not fair or even right to collect it.
Believe me, my my insides hurt making this request.
Oh, I don't believe that even a little.
You like your insides just as they are.
You want to be right here, making these moves.
You need that feeling in your stomach to know you're alive.
I really think I am sorry.
Fuck you, Chuck! I'll recuse myself.
My tab is clear.
dramatic music [door creaks open, closes.]
May I? Do you want me to call the Secretary of the Treasury and ask for a personal loan? I just heard DeGiulio is the new judge on the Axelrod case.
Not our dream judge, but fair-minded, likely to hew closely to the law, rule narrowly.
That'll favor us a lot more than Funt.
Well, then, I guess it's a gift.
Chuck.
I know his fingerprints.
Are you gonna do something about this? I'm not in the habit of rejecting gifts.
Do you know about White Day in Japan? Over there on Valentine's Day, women buy presents for their salarymen bosses, and those presents are displayed for all to see, so the most important thing is the size.
That's how others know that the recipient is valued.
A month later, on White Day, the men give a return gift of two to three times the value.
So if there's a salaryman you don't respect, you get him something small but expensive.
Chuck just gave you diamond cufflinks, and when White Day comes, you're gonna have to give him something that costs a lot more.
dramatic music Counting Crows "Round Here" Step out the front door like a ghost into a fog Where no one notices the contrast Of white on white In between the moon and you Angels get a better view I didn't like you kicking me out.
I apologize if I was rude.
I don't give a fuck about rude.
It showed you were distracted.
How did we do today? Just executed a huge PIPE.
We're going to arb a Southeast Asian sugar company.
Fun.
If all my projections hold, we're still down five percent overall.
Anyone else would have lost 12 or done something stupid to get even.
Booking the loss was the only way.
I'm not pulling the two billion.
It's yours to invest.
I really thought you didn't trust me.
That's why you were in the office looking over everyone's shoulder.
I was in the office, because as of now, I don't know what else to do with myself.
[smacks lips.]
And as much as I can trust anyone with my name and my money I trust you.
I am irrelevant.
You want the money because you want the stake, the control.
You need the game to remember who you are.
I've decided how I'm going to invest that two billion.
I'm going to diversify, invest in outside funds.
I'll hear pitches, among them your hand-picked favorites.
And after I give them the money, I'm going to be a passive investor.
Thank you.
You're not doing this 'cause I need it.
You need it.
You're giving me a place to play so I stay off your field.
And you want the benefit of my moves on our bottom line in case there's another disaster.
I'm your hedge.
dramatic music Maria says she's dying Through the door, I hear her crying Why? I don't know 'Round here We always stand up straight 'Round here [chicken clucking.]
Something radiates Maria came from Nashville With a suitcase in her hand She said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis And she walks along the edge Of where the ocean meets the land Just like she's walking On a wire in a circus She parks her car outside of my house And takes her clothes off Says she's close to understanding Jesus And she knows she's more than just a little Misunderstood She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous 'Round here
Previously on "Billions" [Axe.]
You know those poison-tip arrows that go through one guy and kill another? [Axe.]
As long as it doesn't come from you.
You get someone else to ask her.
Won't track back to me.
[Axe.]
You come through for me, I'll pay off your house.
People are getting sick on Ice Juice.
[Chuck.]
Freezing the assets? Now, that's an Ivan Koloff bear hug you're putting on the man.
You're squeezing the breath out of him.
But now you owe me.
A favor to be named later.
Back channeling, patronage.
I lost my taste for it.
Just don't forget, it was the back channels and deal-making that put you in that position.
Remind me again, and it's the last meal we share.
It is still Axe Capital, no matter who's making the day-to-day decisions.
Are you sure? I know it's Axe's faith that confers value on me until I have a track record of my own.
Unless it becomes necessary, I will not leave.
I'm holding in my hand Robert Axelrod's signature relinquishing his ability to trade securities.
Well ol' Samson got a real buzz cut.
dramatic music Counting Crows "Round Here" Step out the front door like a ghost into a fog Where no one notices the contrast Of white on white In between the moon and you, the angels get a better view Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right Well, I walk in the air - Hold on.
- Between the rain Through myself and back again Where? I don't know Maria says she's dying Bobby.
Are you okay? [Axe.]
I went down to the crossroads.
What? [Axe.]
I made a mistake.
The deal.
I can't do it not trade.
I've worked my entire life putting myself in a position where I would be truly free no limits, nothing I couldn't do.
And with one signature, I've stripped myself of all of that.
It wasn't the signature that did it.
It was the living like there were no rules.
That's what made the signature necessary.
[Chuck.]
Wendy? You all right? Yeah.
Don't wake up the kids.
I'll be right up.
I can't do this now.
[Wendy.]
Realize that limits, constraints, they can be useful.
Letting someone else run Axe Capital gives you a chance to realign who you are.
To get good at letting go.
Which is a different kind of freedom.
A more powerful kind of freedom.
Now go to sleep.
Even if it were a good idea, which it's not, there is nothing you can do to regain control at this hour.
[sighs.]
dramatic music - - We need to meet.
[Axe.]
These fuckers can take away my ability to trade but not my ability to see.
Insightful guy like you, how you gonna turn it off? I'm not.
I can't.
I don't want to.
If you can't trade on the insights, who can? Only those who I have reason to trust absolutely.
- And that's me.
- It better be.
Because no one can know I'm behind any of these trades.
Well, our doors wouldn't be open if it wasn't for your, um, let's say goodwill.
And when we're done, those doors are gonna open on to a much bigger shop.
Been hoping to hear from you.
I've been wanting to expand, but I've never been great at the raise.
That'll no longer be a problem for Old Oaks Investments.
Your money is always good here.
You can't direct funds, so how's this work? Let's dive the fuck in.
I'll be in touch.
dramatic music - So, this is the way it's done? - Yeah.
And there's really nothing we can do but Hope the wheel of fate favors us.
dramatic music Welcome to old New York, where judicial assignment's still determined by the spin of a wheel.
Hey, it beats having Chief Judge Morgenstern make 'em after a long night of gin at the goulash joint.
- Drinking or playing? - Both.
[humming.]
For the United States v.
Robert Axelrod [papers rustling.]
Judge Leonard Funt.
Do I have to say it? You really don't.
You just got Funted.
Ha! [laughs.]
[laughing continues in distance.]
How bad is this? Funt is a true believer in the power of a free market.
Old school Libertarian.
He's the best friend Bobby Axelrod could have on the bench.
Well, if Connerty builds the case right, the judge doesn't matter.
Wrong.
You need to find a way to get Funt off the case.
So the wheel spits out another name? No.
Only one spin, then it's up to Chief Judge Morgenstern.
The other judges lobby him, depending on if they want on or off.
So you need to stunt that process.
That is tampering twice over.
No.
It's finesse.
[inhales sharply.]
I don't break promises, so our unappetizing deal holds.
- Mm.
- But it will not expand.
Fate has dealt our hand.
Now we play it.
[bell dings, car horn honks.]
[Wendy.]
Chuck.
What couldn't be talked about on the phone? We got judge-fucked in the Axelrod case.
And, uh, I don't mean "We, the people," I mean We.
Our family.
- Fuck.
- Yeah.
We need a judge who believes that the rich have gotten away with too much for too long.
And one who won't allow Axelrod to create a distraction by alleging I set up a roach motel and lured him in.
Axe can't do that without essentially admitting his guilt.
I know.
That's one of the things keeping me up at night.
You know what I risked what I gave up to get him.
What would he give to get me? Everything.
[sighs.]
Well, the judge we drew is Leonard Edward Funt.
Isn't that good news? Doesn't he owe you Yes, there is a debt.
I once did him a kindness.
But back then, during a case, I tried to allude to the favor in conference, and that man hammered me for even hinting at it.
[scoffs.]
Seemed to grow larger as he talked, the way some men can when they're not pretending to dignity and honor but they're actually made of the stuff.
You withdrew the request? I did.
And I fear it would be even worse today.
See, if he wouldn't return a favor back when it was fresh, why would he do so now? But that's not what happened, is it? He didn't actually refuse.
He didn't say no.
Not in so many words.
What he did was: spare himself the question by putting a tougher one to you.
It's about will, Chuck.
Impose your will on him until he does what he needs to and repays the debt.
Why, you are a marvel.
Go.
Do what you have to do.
dramatic music I've recently invested nine billion of Axe Cap's money back into the market.
In phases.
And now when it's time for the next phase, another two billion You can't.
Why? There's a velvet rope around it.
So to speak.
What's actually around it? A directive from Axe that the money remain untouched.
Is he considering moving the funds or deploying them elsewhere? Never mind.
You don't know.
Don't I? Maybe Axe is hedging.
Against the main fund? Against you.
dramatic music [door opens.]
Ah.
The two billion.
I told them: velvet rope.
Spoken like a man who's still mad he never got into Xenon.
I'm on it, Taylor.
[cellphone beeps.]
This is clean.
And it does what you need, how you need.
Tracks it all in real time.
We've also swept the apartment.
There are no listening devices, no visual recording devices, no compromising devices of any kind.
But guests leave eyes and ears, so we should sweep often.
- Who else visits? - The women.
Wand them.
He will.
So, this is the Counter Intel team, the new Halls.
I don't think they care for that.
Why should I trust you to do anything other than point me to the nearest avocado toast? For whom have you worked? Is this just a walk on the wild side to spice up the b-school essays? How much you doing this for the money? You can answer him.
In re bona fides, John built the code for four successful startups in high school then Stanford, then was asked to travel to 71 countries for DARPA and Other Government Agency, all which he did without complaint.
And Timmy Dones has a military background.
What fucking war were you in? Mr.
Hall fought the wars you've heard of.
I fought the ones you haven't.
As for your other questions.
It's none of your business, smashed spring pea toast is the new avocado toast, and 70 percent.
Are we clear to talk to Mr.
Wagner going forward? Discuss anything except women you care about.
Yeah, so, the two billion.
Ah, and here I was thinking you came to keep me company.
Look, I know you're giving it to outside funds, not on the surface.
It'll get routed around the world first, but then it will land in certain funds, and suddenly they'll get hot as Farrah Fawcett in '76.
Don't do it.
One errant e-mail, one recorded call, one trade that tracks back to you and it's Hassan chop! We're done.
All of us.
There's no need for it, bwana.
Satisfy your urges some other way.
Buy yourself something.
I bought it all already.
Probably thrown it out.
What about that vintage Cheetah you've been eyeballing? Look, this is not a message I'm born to carry.
It goes against everything I've built my life on.
But for you, holding back is essential right now.
You're right about hiding the money.
That's too dangerous.
What if I didn't? - Huh? - I could have Taylor move it, on-the-books, perfectly legal disbursements to outside shops.
Bobby that's right, I'm not calling you "Mr.
President," I'm calling you "Bobby" because I've never used your first name and I want to underline how serious this moment is.
You've called me Bobby before.
Strategic mistake, but not nearly as big as the one you're making if you ask Taylor to do this.
They have nothing to gain by going along.
They get to keep their princely fucking job.
If you fire them, it will look like what it is.
And you can't have it appear you're illegally meddling.
Especially when you're illegally meddling.
- My point - I get your point.
So you won't take the two billion? I get your point.
Let's leave it at that.
Ah! If it isn't George and Edward.
Which one of you will give up the throne for love? That seems like a stupid reason.
You must be George.
Are you coming to our game later, Uncle Wags? Is it official Little League? - Yeah.
- Can't.
Banned for life.
Well, here we are on the Axelrod case together, so, you know, we got our fairy tale ending after all.
You been working out? You look like you've been working out.
There's no good way to answer that question.
Is it ping pong? You back at the tables? Uh, can I get a lawyer? [tires screech.]
Excuse me, Ms.
Gonzalez Special Agent Terri McCue, FBI.
Uh, me llamo Bryan Connerty, uh, Federal prosecutor.
He's also second alternate at the World Table Tennis Championships.
I'm really not that good.
Ms.
Gonzalez, we don't care about your immigration status.
That's not what we do.
We may even be able to help you if you cooperate with us.
We want to speak to you about your boss, Victor Mateo.
[Guatemalan accent.]
Mr.
Victor, he's very good.
He and his wife, they sponsor me for the green card, so I don't need help.
You're not eligible for a green card if you've committed a crime.
A crime? No.
No, no, no.
Let's put it up on the colortini.
[gasps.]
That couple near you snapping selfies were undercover agents.
Mr.
Victor made me do it.
Did Mr.
Victor give you the vial? Did he pay you? It was someone else.
A woman.
But I know that it was for him.
Him and his wife, son monstruos.
One time I drop a glass licorera Baccarat.
Then Missus, she break the tail light to my car to punish.
I had to drive home afraid that I get pulled over and sent back to Guatemala.
Now I take the bus.
I want to know how it worked.
When and where The way that Mr.
Victor and his wife are I can't be late.
Or do I have to tell them No, no, no.
Don't don't say anything.
After work, you'll come to my office and give a statement.
Lo prometo.
[bird chirping.]
[vacuum whirring.]
[Axe.]
Yeah, what is it? [Victor.]
My maid was late today.
She's never late.
We have a real problem.
We need to meet.
Group of guys who own this car, it's a smaller club than the one that owns NBA teams, only 29 ever built.
Which is exactly why I'm buying it.
Which is why I'm gonna let you outbid me.
[laughs.]
Thanks.
Sounds like you want something.
I do.
I want in on the new shit.
You're raising money for new ventures, count me in.
Thanks, but I'm not looking to give up any more equity.
You're saying no to money? Look, Axe, let me answer the question you didn't ask, and this pains me to say I don't want your money.
I've got too many eyes on me, and I can't be anywhere near the shit show you're in the middle of right now.
Noted.
Michael Panay.
You haven't gone home with a car this year.
Is it the one you had your heart set on all along? If Bill Thomas built a toaster, I'd skip work to buy that.
But you won't actually buy this car, will you? Because you've been downsizing, hoping no one would see.
[laughs.]
We're not downsizing.
I was on the other side of the Alperin trade.
I know how much you lost.
Well, I know you're not exactly trending in the right direction, either.
Maybe we help each other.
I lead the early bidding, knock out the dabblers, then you swoop in at your desired price.
What's your number? Mike, I'd pedal the fucking Flintstones car before I went in on this with you.
dramatic music You sure? I know my people.
She's been approached.
I'll handle it.
You know what this means, don't you? They'll be coming for the others.
[door opens.]
If that bursts into flame, I'm denouncing you to Governor Danforth.
It's a focus exercise.
And Danforth is just in the play.
At the real Salem trials, the judge was William Stoughton.
Careful, that sounds like something a witch would know.
Also: We're looking good on the two billion.
Now that got you focused.
I'm here to break the glass.
In case of emergency, you know? Breathe, then talk.
We're getting hit by a tsunami.
- Shit.
Did the Fed hike - No.
Actual tsunami.
In Brazil.
No way.
Brazil doesn't have tsunamis.
The worst they get is ressacas do mar.
"Sea hangover.
" Am I the only person here who's loved a Portuguese woman? Brazil does not normally have tsunamis.
Black swan event.
How heavy are we in Brazil? Jim Morrison at the end.
Our newly redeployed funds are affected in dozens of different ways, among the most notable, - Brazilian sugar and shipping.
- So we buy sugar futures.
Impending shortage means prices go up.
Everyone will do that, but sure.
A few of the moves I'm already making.
Shorting Brazil's largest debt holder, buying long-dated VIX calls.
Also buying solar, wind, and every alternative energy play not dependent on government subsidy.
Um, is no one worried about the people, you know, in Brazil? If you want to pretend you're concerned, see Wendy.
He's not pretending, Wags.
If you really care, start a walk-a-thon.
Tough Mudders are the new walk-a-thons.
But don't bring that shit to me.
Our own foundation was set up for just these situations as a kind of emotional and fiscal catch-all for you to use as a tool for you to get your conscience out of the way.
I wondered why you showed at this meeting, you fucking vulture.
What would salve my conscience and my wallet is if I was a fucking contractor in Brazil.
Too bad their leading construction company's a scandal factory.
Can't get into bed with a firm that's had almost 100 executives indicted.
Our principal has been indicted.
If it's a money-maker, we do it.
Legal trouble does not mean you can't fulfill your teleological purpose.
We're on the clock, people.
Now's the time to earn your paychecks.
[siren wails in distance.]
[door opens.]
There's something I always wondered: Why aren't you Charlie? - [sighs.]
- Feels like you would have - been a great Charlie.
- No, I agree.
Oh, Charlie Rhoades, yeah, that guy's yer best friend.
- Yeah.
- Right? Sure.
Call ol' Charlie, see if he can fill in, uh, as a fourth for tennis or on a double date or just ride around smashing mailboxes.
Yeah.
Charlie.
The best.
But in our household, my father was Charles.
And every now and then someone, business associate, the guy who managed one of his buildings, who would get just a little casual, accidentally let a Charlie fly.
The world would stop dead.
"Do I look like a fucking 'Charlie' to you?" [scoffs.]
And that was that.
The guy would piss himself, and the day would continue.
So, he was Charles, and you were Chuck.
And Good Time Charlie was somewhere else out on the town having all the laughs.
Christ, man.
Don't I know it.
And how 'bout now? You just show up in my chambers for the laughs.
No.
No.
I am here in your chambers to put myself in your debt.
In my debt.
That's right.
I was thinking back to our last meal together, wherein you told me I ought never mention the favor I had done you again.
And I promised then, and I intend to keep that promise.
And so I am here to ask of you a favor, not as repayment to me but the opposite.
Oh, this must be big.
Judge Funt is stepping off the Axelrod case.
No one knows.
And when he does, Morgenstern will make a special appointment of the judge who convinces him he most wants the case.
As often as not, that's the first judge to ask.
And you need that to be me.
We'll time it out so it will be.
Now, there are those that would frame this as a favor for you, because it's a marquee case.
But I won't.
You would be doing me a service.
And all you're asking is that I be the judge, not that I rule in Dake's favor, not that I'd be slanted in any way.
That's right.
It's that straightforward.
Win.
Lose.
Draw.
I want you on that bench because I know you can't be bought.
You can't be bent.
You can't be worked.
Dake has a strong case.
I want it heard fairly and without prejudice.
And if I grant this request There is nothing you can ask me that I'll refuse you for the rest of our days.
If I agree, I would take those words as gospel, Chuck.
And I would not be bashful to collect, should the need arise.
I'd be honor bound to deliver.
That's too small a play.
It won't save us.
Keep looking.
Axe would be out on that floor screaming at them like Gordon Ramsay until they delivered.
Hm.
You're more Alton Brown.
The ideas they're bringing Some deployable, some useful as a benchmark of what other firms will be thinking and how we need to do better, but none platonically good.
Your first round of investments coinciding with your first crisis.
That would be a lot for anybody.
Axe was already considering sidecarring two billion.
And you think today will make the decision for him.
I am acutely aware of the way people look at me.
I have cultivated, through achievement and discipline, a mystique that compensates for my lack of track record.
A loss shatters that, and with it the confidence of everyone who works here.
In their eyes in Axe's eyes I become simply inexperienced.
I can't let that happen.
That's why I need to get through today unscathed.
The way you think Axe would.
It's important in your job that you face unpleasant realities.
Axe Capital may lose money today, probably will.
You know that, right? No.
dramatic music [Axe.]
Wags, I'm coming in.
The place is getting crushed without me.
Can I stop you? No.
You sure I can't stop you? You know that painting of Washington crossing the Delaware.
In the boat with all his troops? I forget what it's called.
I think it's called Washington Crossing The Delaware - You didn't forget.
- No.
And do you know why it's called that? Because at the moment that his troops were facing the sting of battle, Washington was right there with them, leaning into the wind.
Not back at home jerking off.
I'll admit, Washington Crossing the Delaware would look pretty fucking strange without George Washington.
Then how can you ask me not to be with my troops right now? Well, Washington was allowed to talk to his men.
He was allowed to lead.
When we walk out of this elevator, you're gonna see it is quite a different situation.
But it is what's required under your deal.
[elevator chimes.]
This is Ari Spyros, Director of Compliance and Risk Management for Axe Capital.
It's 12:09 p.
m.
I am here with Robert Axelrod and will stay with him anywhere he goes inside these walls, ensuring compliance with his preclusion from the secur I'm looking at small sugar companies in Asia.
We pick one invest in it, grow it, help it.
Not a big fan of Oh, shit.
dramatic music What do you think he'd say about that? Bobby Axelrod doesn't grow mom-and-pop shops.
He buys 'em out, turns 'em out.
That can't happen with this one.
Hmm.
Well, then it sounds like your idea doesn't fucking work.
dramatic music Whoo.
[groans, sighs.]
Um Oh, I don't like nothing between me and the water.
We called first.
You knew we were coming.
Yeah, doc says I gotta swim.
Right.
We need to talk to you about About some unexplained coincidences.
If I can sort you out In the last year, your house was paid off.
Yeah, my wife came into some money.
Mm.
And your kids, they stopped taking student loans.
Marcie's dorm room business, it's really taking off.
I'm sorry, do you do you want a towel, or - I'm good.
- You're fair.
So, you got sick from Ice Juice.
The person behind its poisoning was Bobby Axelrod, the same man you tried to cooperate against.
You think he targeted me deliberately? [chuckles.]
Wow, that's a long road to travel for revenge.
But if he did it, I hope you nail him.
That juice made me puke so hard I bust a lung.
Hence the swimming.
[sighs.]
Anything else? Okay.
Drop by any time.
Guy flashes a little brain, and you turn into Dudley Do-Right? I thought under the circumstances I acquitted myself admirably.
A lot of people think you can't get a good flat white outside of Australia.
They forget, there's no such thing as a good store-bought flat white.
It's the tongue temperature.
[cellphone vibrates.]
Oh, please, I'd love to hear more of your expertise on flat whites.
[Margolis.]
So I just had a fun little poolside chat with some friends who are very curious about you, me, and beverages.
[Axe.]
Thanks.
[indistinct talking.]
dramatic music Oh, shit, he's leaving.
[door opens.]
[Axe.]
Hey, Mafee.
You sure a lunch break's the thing right now? Nothing urgent that you should be getting Are you testing me? Like that waiter in 'Club? I'm not allowed to talk to you about this.
Right? I'm not? Or do you want me to, because dramatic music Hey.
Hey.
Got any summer plans? No.
Guess Lara and I will need to talk about it.
The kids.
I don't like to go far.
We got a spot in Mystic.
While the family's looking at the boats and shit, I can play a little pai gow.
[Spyros.]
I was planning to go back and climb Kili.
How much vacay time is it culturally appropriate to take here? Ah, maybe I'll just do base camp.
- Korst.
- Scandinavian shipping company.
While the South American companies are down for the count, these guys will have a shot at a monopoly.
- We should buy in two days.
- Four days, when it bottoms.
But this is going to help dig us out a little more.
Good work.
[keyboard keys clacking.]
Will you make sure Axe knows it came from me? Why would you think we're communicating about trades? What? That would be illegal.
I know.
But What are you saying about me? What are you saying about the place you work? Actually, if he hates it, that would be worse.
Don't say anything.
It is now 1:47 on the 9th day of [door opens.]
- Really? - What? I'm sitting in my office, which I paid for, seeing how things run without me.
Won't work.
People are afraid to take chances with you here.
To be wrong.
Or they want a slap on the ass from you.
Which you can't give.
Move over, Zapruder.
I got this.
Actually, I think this falls within my dominion, and the stick can be really tricky for noobs [device screeches.]
Hmm.
Guess it was tricky.
Why didn't you anticipate the tsunami? Maybe I should have when that underground earthquake hit off Mozambique.
Strange conditions bring strange results.
That's what brought this on.
You knew right then but you couldn't act.
Maybe you would have used your experience to think more globally.
Maybe you would have been cautious.
De-risked.
The mature move.
Is that a dig? It's not.
You have more experience.
You connect points I don't even know to look for.
I understand how hard it is to have things inside you that you can't communicate.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to know how to say them and still not be allowed to.
And yet, you are not allowed to.
Have you heard me direct any trades? The people out there don't know who they're looking to.
Since it can't be you, it needs to be me.
If you can't live with that, I can be the one who leaves.
You'll probably make up the losses but get yourself banned for life or worse.
I'm leaving, and I'm taking the two billion.
I'll send instructions shortly about what to do with it.
And at 1:53 p.
m.
, Robert Axelrod has left the building.
[car horn honks, siren wails.]
I'm glad I caught you.
You wouldn't have if my fucking car guy could time his job right.
Yeah, George Washington had the same problem leaving Trenton.
Wags told you? Texted me while you were rampaging through the office.
I wasn't rampaging.
I was inspiring.
You know Washington didn't actually - stand in the rowboat, right? - Of course.
Structurally unsound, and he'd have made himself a target.
Yet you worry about neither.
[car horn honks.]
It's hard to shut it off, Wend.
I know.
But if you can't, you will lose the battle and the war.
Do you want me to come with you? Stay here with Taylor.
They need some senior officer for back up.
[siren wails in distance.]
You're fired.
Find out when Judge Funt's court is in recess.
- Yep.
- [knock at door.]
A Mr.
Allerd is here for you.
I'm Karl Allerd, your new AUSA.
I think I'd remember if I hired a new line prosecutor.
Remember when Dake said there'd be a favor to be named? Ah.
You're the favor.
[scoffs.]
You don't trust me.
Hell, I wouldn't from your chair.
A Spy In the House Of Lords and so forth.
Yes.
So I'll earn your trust.
- Will you? - I look forward to seeing that trick.
That'll be a neat trick.
Ms.
Sacker, our Head of Crim, will get you situated.
- I will? - Mm.
Mm, I will.
Hey, I've been revising my idea.
There's a division of a struggling company in Thailand, that I think Wait, is this the sugar company? Is it, is this the same damn deal? No It's just one facet of the company that I think could be promising to look into.
It started out as a family business, and So this is this is the same deal.
- Not really - Kimmy, this piece of shit ain't Axe Cap.
[indistinct chatter.]
What are you working on? Nothing.
I want to see all Ben Kim's search results for the day.
You mean, like, browser results, or Everything he did today.
[Wags.]
Hey, you on your way home? Nope.
Chief.
You got to get on your way if you want to make it in time to take the princelings to Little League.
Have Bruce take 'em.
[Wags.]
You got it.
[indistinct chatter.]
[Lilly.]
He's been home three weekends this year.
I'm almost positive one of them was his assistant's mistake.
And he assumes I never say anything about him fucking his way through the entire New York pool.
But if you can leave Axe You give me courage, Lara.
You're smart, Lilly.
You had a career for a second.
You know your shopper isn't your friend, personal trainer doesn't think you're actually making progress, and all the charities you give money to don't actually honor you when they honor you.
But on some level, you believe every bit of it.
You think the attention you receive is deserved.
But when that fades, when every relationship in your life reveals itself to be a trade on your husband's net worth, you may say "Fuck false friends," but you'll be hiring a PR rep the first time your Halloween costume isn't mentioned in Page Six.
So keep your own courage, Lilly.
And while you're at it, consider keeping that husband.
Because while he may not give you what you think you want, he lets you keep on being Mrs.
Keith Currier Smith, and I'm pretty sure that's what you need.
Now you're trying to decide whether to be pissed or grateful.
Definitely grateful.
[helicopter flies in distance.]
Whoa! [laughter.]
[shouts indistinctly.]
Here you go.
Have fun.
Thanks, Bruce.
dramatic music We got your latest request.
It's a big lift.
Hard transfer.
International withdrawals and deposits like this do not get done same day.
- So? - It's not the sort of thing most clients ask for.
Especially not when they're drawing heat.
These are my needs.
Either you meet them or you can't.
We can get it done.
But this isn't a reusable pipeline.
Fine by me.
She's supposed to be here by 5:30.
- It's already - I know what time it is.
Call it in.
I'd like to have a person of interest picked up.
Gonzalez, Maria.
No Social.
Yeah.
D.
O.
B.
1/22/79.
[sighs.]
You think she got cold feet? I think that's best case.
You have her already.
That's great news.
Where? [mug clatters.]
Hold her.
She's mine.
She got picked up in an ICE sweep.
She's currently at the Varick Street Detention Center.
[indistinct chatter.]
[door buzzes.]
Are you gonna bring Maria? She's right there.
Who is that? Maria Gonzalez.
That may be a Maria Gonzalez, but that is not our Maria Gonzalez.
That is the wrong Maria Gonzalez.
Do you have someone else here with that name? We did until she was put on a goodbye charter from Newark Liberty.
It's got to be some bureaucratic screw-up.
No, it doesn't.
[keyboard keys clacking.]
Somebody knew she was gonna be picked up before we did and got to her info.
This has Axe written all over it.
dramatic music They deported the wrong Maria Gonzalez.
Our witness is on a plane that lands in 90 minutes.
We need her met on the ground in Guatemala and returned.
There are a lot of, uh, high-level, deeply uncomfortable calls required to make that happen.
DOJ.
DHS.
State.
And they all start with your boss.
I really don't want to call the Attorney General about this.
He's publicly stated this case matters to him.
Ollie, you're a bit of a rara avis, aren't you? You got no "hat," no one looking out for you, and yet you have risen.
Maybe it's because you have an immaculate record.
Some guys don't trust immaculate record.
I do.
I have an immaculate record.
Thank you, General.
[Jock.]
That was from a movie.
You don't watch movies, do you, Ollie? I re-watch The Decalogue every year.
Uh, well, I read what you sent me.
Just to make sure I have it straight: We got the wrong Guad? That is indeed the case.
Say it.
We got the wrong Guad.
But Maria Gonzalez, our Maria Gonzalez, is a key cooperator.
We need her back.
And since this is an extraordinary situation [Jock.]
Well, in one respect.
In another, it's just the way things are supposed to go.
The right Maria Gonzalez came into this country illegally, she stayed illegally, and she committed a fraud on the stockholders of that snake-bit juice company.
She is three times illegal.
That makes her removable, and she was removed.
Um [Jock.]
Next time instead of asking me to undo your fuck-up, maybe just see to it that the situation remains like our holy Mother of Mercy, blessedly un-fucked.
[receiver clicks.]
[receiver clatters.]
How'd that go? [door opens.]
Does Axe ever hesitate? [door closes.]
Why? I'm hesitating.
Can't pull the trigger.
Markets are closed.
Overseas play? Ben Kim found a big opportunity in Thailand.
A troubled public company with a promising sugar division.
He spotted a good target but just couldn't quite figure out how to hit it or didn't have the courage to shoot at it.
We need to keep working with him on that.
But you see the play? Yes.
A PIPE.
Private investment in public equity.
Basically, we take ownership of a spin-off, and a commission from brokering its sale.
So, why the hesitation? It will be the single largest investment I've made as CIO, and a type Axe Cap has never made before.
If you make this move, where do you end up for the day? Unscathed? This would lock in a loss.
Yes.
The high-reward plays are all high-risk.
It's good you can't run it by Axe.
[papers rustle.]
Forces you to hear your own voice and trust it.
You'll probably do the right thing.
And when the day comes you get one wrong, that'll be good, too.
Because I'll realize I'm mortal and it's not so bad? Because it'll be fucking horrible and you'll do anything you can to avoid that feeling again.
Hey.
You know what, Bobby? I'm gonna do you a favor: You're off the hook.
If you don't want 50-50 custody, you don't need to have it.
I can tell other people it's 50-50, and I can come up with something to tell the boys, too.
Why the fuck do you think I don't want the kids? You had them for one day, at a time when you don't have to go to work, and you ditched them.
You let them be airlifted into Little League.
I mean, it was mortifying.
I didn't mean to embarrass them.
They weren't embarrassed.
They didn't know to be, which is a whole other thing.
You know, I don't know if you need to work on your case or go on a trip or become a fucking cobbler, but it doesn't seem like you are where you need to be.
And I'd offer to help, but my help doesn't seem to be what you want, either.
dramatic music [siren wails in the distance.]
I have everything positioned and ready, and yet Judge Funt still has the case on his docket.
My bag is packed, but I can't seem to walk out the door.
If I fail at this, everything is dashed.
[sighs.]
For then I will have ruined myself in his eyes and exposed my position.
Only a fool doesn't look at the downside.
But only a coward allows it to dissuade him from that which he knows he must do.
[Wendy.]
I know you're not a coward.
I don't like the sound of that word coming out of your mouth.
Neither do I.
I'll see you at home.
After.
[footsteps approaching.]
Chuck? No one takes this shortcut anymore.
This isn't your courthouse.
Are you lost? Oh, right where I need to be, Judge Funt, which is, unfortunately, in your way.
Ah.
The Axelrod case.
You had to know a day like this would come.
I never asked you You didn't have to.
Your son's doing well, I hope, made the most of his medical career.
[smacks lips.]
Yeah, he's a good doctor.
That's what I wanted for him.
[smacks lips.]
If he hadn't have supplied those future sons of Hippocrates with Adderall, some other med student would have.
I won't let you dictate my rulings.
The bench cannot be tainted by personal debts.
Name another favor.
I know that this is the biggest case that you've ever drawn.
Well, that's something that you would think about in my shoes, but I don't.
No, you wouldn't.
And you wouldn't hide in a hallway waiting to pounce when I walked by.
But I am not the man you are.
Oh.
You're not here to ask me to shade my rulings.
You're here to ask me to step off it.
It's a hard laydown.
And I'm asking you to lay it down.
[sighs.]
Ask yourself who you really are, Chuck.
Are you the man that's reduced to collecting debts of the soul like like old Mr.
Scratch? Well, as with all stories about that being, the debt is due, even if, especially if, it is not fair or even right to collect it.
Believe me, my my insides hurt making this request.
Oh, I don't believe that even a little.
You like your insides just as they are.
You want to be right here, making these moves.
You need that feeling in your stomach to know you're alive.
I really think I am sorry.
Fuck you, Chuck! I'll recuse myself.
My tab is clear.
dramatic music [door creaks open, closes.]
May I? Do you want me to call the Secretary of the Treasury and ask for a personal loan? I just heard DeGiulio is the new judge on the Axelrod case.
Not our dream judge, but fair-minded, likely to hew closely to the law, rule narrowly.
That'll favor us a lot more than Funt.
Well, then, I guess it's a gift.
Chuck.
I know his fingerprints.
Are you gonna do something about this? I'm not in the habit of rejecting gifts.
Do you know about White Day in Japan? Over there on Valentine's Day, women buy presents for their salarymen bosses, and those presents are displayed for all to see, so the most important thing is the size.
That's how others know that the recipient is valued.
A month later, on White Day, the men give a return gift of two to three times the value.
So if there's a salaryman you don't respect, you get him something small but expensive.
Chuck just gave you diamond cufflinks, and when White Day comes, you're gonna have to give him something that costs a lot more.
dramatic music Counting Crows "Round Here" Step out the front door like a ghost into a fog Where no one notices the contrast Of white on white In between the moon and you Angels get a better view I didn't like you kicking me out.
I apologize if I was rude.
I don't give a fuck about rude.
It showed you were distracted.
How did we do today? Just executed a huge PIPE.
We're going to arb a Southeast Asian sugar company.
Fun.
If all my projections hold, we're still down five percent overall.
Anyone else would have lost 12 or done something stupid to get even.
Booking the loss was the only way.
I'm not pulling the two billion.
It's yours to invest.
I really thought you didn't trust me.
That's why you were in the office looking over everyone's shoulder.
I was in the office, because as of now, I don't know what else to do with myself.
[smacks lips.]
And as much as I can trust anyone with my name and my money I trust you.
I am irrelevant.
You want the money because you want the stake, the control.
You need the game to remember who you are.
I've decided how I'm going to invest that two billion.
I'm going to diversify, invest in outside funds.
I'll hear pitches, among them your hand-picked favorites.
And after I give them the money, I'm going to be a passive investor.
Thank you.
You're not doing this 'cause I need it.
You need it.
You're giving me a place to play so I stay off your field.
And you want the benefit of my moves on our bottom line in case there's another disaster.
I'm your hedge.
dramatic music Maria says she's dying Through the door, I hear her crying Why? I don't know 'Round here We always stand up straight 'Round here [chicken clucking.]
Something radiates Maria came from Nashville With a suitcase in her hand She said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis And she walks along the edge Of where the ocean meets the land Just like she's walking On a wire in a circus She parks her car outside of my house And takes her clothes off Says she's close to understanding Jesus And she knows she's more than just a little Misunderstood She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous 'Round here