Brothers & Sisters s03e02 Episode Script
Book Burning
Previously on Brothers and Sisters: - Let's adopt.
- Oh, Robert.
We have a 20 million dollar loan hanging over our heads.
Cuts have to be made across the board.
- We are looking at the legal team.
- You mean Kevin? Dad does have another child out there.
- It is better if everything is out in the open.
- Rebecca and I have started dating.
Justin, not now.
- What? I am done keeping the family secrets.
- Sarah.
- He's letting you go, Kevin.
Oh, Sarah.
- What? We're making cuts at Ojai.
Restructuring.
Oh, my God.
William had another lover.
And they had a child together.
I don't believe you.
Yes, you do.
Are you gonna get that? Oh, no.
I don't want to.
You know, it's like the fourth call in an hour.
Oh, fine.
Fine.
It's my mother.
Again.
Maybe something's wrong.
She can't take a hint.
That's what's wrong.
I know you're angry at her, - but she's your mom.
- If I pick up now, she's gonna make me feel guilty, then I'm gonna give her a second chance.
And she is inevitably gonna do something awful.
That's just the story of my life.
But I really don't wanna talk about this right now.
Oh, you know what? I should get going.
Wait.
You're leaving? Yeah, I have a meeting tomorrow morning.
Early, so - We haven't even finished the movie.
- Oh, I've seen it before.
The evil robots die, and the hero gets the girl.
I've seen it like a thousand times.
So I'll call you when I get home, okay? I'm gonna go.
- You guys haven't had sex yet? - Can you not sound so shocked? We haven't been together that long, Sarah.
- Sorry, I just assumed you had.
- Well, we haven't, okay? - Okay, good, good.
- Good? That's all you've got, is good? No, I've also got clean socks, finally.
Okay, you know what? You're right, it's Sarah, it's weird.
I didn't say it was weird.
I didn't say anything.
You know, I didn't even want to be having this conversation.
Look, come on, Sarah.
My bedroom's had a revolving door since puberty.
- My mattress is crash-tested.
- Thank you.
- Not an image I needed.
- Like, this is usually my thing.
And I don't know why, but I'm - What? - I'm confused.
Are you really surprised? Ten minutes ago, you were practically related.
Okay, we were never related, all right? And that was months ago, and we're over that.
We're really over that.
I don't know what to say, Justin.
Maybe you should speak to Tommy, or ask Kevin.
Have you ever gotten sex advice from Kevin? - No.
- Yeah.
And Tommy? He'd never let me hear the end of it.
I'm not asking for sex tips, okay? I'm asking you for relationship advice.
You're my sister.
That's what sisters do.
They give relationship advice.
Help me.
Okay.
Well, you have a complicated history.
The last couple of relationships you've been in, you were either using or it was self-destructive.
That's true.
You're with someone you care about.
You don't wanna screw it up.
All right.
So, what do I do? I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but if you're asking this many questions, maybe you should take it slow.
Hey, Kitty.
Oh, hey.
I thought you weren't coming home until morning.
- I got out early, what are you doing? - Oh, baby-proofing.
The social worker's gonna do a safety check.
Okay, I've got outlet covers, corner guards, lock box for medicine cabinet, toilet seat latches.
Done, done, done and done.
- How did the vote go? - Oh, lower emissions passed.
And with only one highway to nowhere and a government building named after Senator Issendrac's kid.
I heard a rumor By the way, the social worker's gonna be here at 2 and I'm gonna go see my mom about the menu.
I'm gonna be back by noon and everybody's coming at 5, which means 6, but that will work because dinner's at 6:30.
- Think it's a good idea to invite them? - Yeah, I think it's great.
- I think that having a stable, loving - Stable? I don't want another scene like the beach house.
But everybody knows how important tomorrow night is and - Even Sarah? - Well, you know Sarah.
She feels so bad about not writing that recommendation letter, that she will do anything I want and, oh God, I gotta figure out what I'm gonna wear.
Hey, you could wear a muumuu.
People are still gonna know you're a good mom.
Oh, well, I don't know about that, but, well, you know, I am a pretty great communications director.
I put the questions for the Commerce Committee and the National Response proposal on your desk.
Did you say something about a rumor? Yeah, apparently, somebody on the staff is shopping a book about the campaign.
So would you get into that for me? Morning.
I come bearing gifts.
Well, so much for trimming the fat around here.
About that.
I wanted to clear the air between us.
Kevin didn't deserve to be fired, Holly.
Well, I wish I had another choice.
I know that this has been hard on you.
You and I know each other too long for me to believe that you came here to commiserate with me about my nephew and to watch me eat doughnuts.
This other woman that William was seeing, what did you know about her? Nothing.
You worked with him for decades.
You knew about me.
You must have known something.
- I can't help you, Holly.
- Come on, you can tell me.
Was she the only one? Was William a part of Ryan's life? This is driving you crazy, isn't it? Good.
Now you know how Nora felt when she found out about you.
Listen, if you wanna get these reports by the end of the day, I should get back to work.
Um Thank you for the breakfast.
How about veal piccata with a side of capellini? Oh, too heavy, too much cholesterol.
- And baby cows? No.
- Oh.
All right.
How about this? Cedar plank salmon with ginger glaze? Yeah, but potentially full of mercury.
I just want her to think that I'm totally up on all the health issues.
Well, that just leaves us with chicken.
How about chicken paprika? - Oh, it's simple, homey.
- Perfect.
Perfect, just make sure that it's organic, free-range and antibiotic-free.
All right, I will this time.
But, Kitty, you really have to learn your way around the kitchen.
No, absol Look.
You have his number, so track him down.
- Call me later.
Bye.
- What are you doing? I thought I was the one to decide whether to contact Ryan Lafferty I'm not tracking my half-brother.
I'm trying to track clients because my full-brother downsized me.
- Oh, Kevin - Don't worry.
I will be civil to Tommy tonight, despite the fact that I don't have Scotty there as a buffer.
- But speaking of Ryan Lafferty - Stop it.
Stop it now, you can't badger me into making a decision.
Look, I think we're all a little curious.
If Rebecca is not our half-sister, we need to know who it is.
I kind of got used to the fact that there's six of us now.
Kind of like The Brady Bunch.
- Oh, well, Jan - Marcia.
Why don't you ask Rebecca if the Brady Bunch fantasy was all that it was cracked up to be? I just wanted to know if Mom had made a decision yet.
I haven't.
I can't believe that we are having this conversation.
Why don't we just open up a foster home for all of Dad's illegitimate offspring? Well, there's only one.
Please, God.
And, Kevin, we are not talking about him today.
Today we are only talking about Kitty's baby and my future grandbaby, which is why I'm off to the market to buy the world's healthiest chicken.
Oh, I love you, Mom.
- I love you.
- I'll see you soon.
Thank you.
- Bye.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- You're certainly chummy.
Oh, well, you know, hopefully I'm about to have a child.
And I guess that makes you closer.
And, plus, I need Nora Supermom to impress the social worker.
You know what? I'm a nervous wreck.
You're married to a U.
S.
Senator.
Why don't you just cut the line? Because that's not how it works, Kevin, okay? We had to jump through the same hoops as everybody else.
- That is - Yeah.
Okay.
Um It's not just about that.
I accidentally wrote a book about Robert and the campaign.
Okay.
How do you accidentally write a book? I don't know, I was having lunch with my friend Tracy, who does - She does happen to be a book agent.
- That's convenient.
And I was telling her all about how boring it is on the campaign trail and, you know, how get stuck in hotels and airplanes.
And I was telling her how I would write down my thoughts.
And then, she asked me to send them to her and And, voilĂ , a book? Yeah, she sort of took all my thoughts, and she organized them into chapters.
Wow.
Okay, so, what is it? Some steamy tell-all exposing all the smut and depravity from presidential politics? No, it is an exploration of the state of politics.
Oh, no depravity? No, not that I remember, no.
No smut either.
Then that's a shame.
Okay, so, what's the? Oh, Robert doesn't know yet.
No.
No, he wants me to find out who wrote it.
Ooh.
Okay, well, just explain what happened to him.
He's a politician.
They're used to being written about.
And if it's as dull as you say it is, I'm sure No, no, no.
No, no, I never said it was dull.
Oh, well, I'm sure he'll just be happy it's you and not someone else.
No, you're right.
God, I hope you're right.
- It is - I think it's you.
Hello? Hey, honey.
You know, listen, I No, not over the phone.
Face-to-face.
No, no.
What? Oh, God, you're kidding me.
All right, all right.
No, no, I'm leaving now.
Okay, bye.
- What? - There's an accident on the 101.
I've gotta get there before the social worker.
Please, 5:00.
If you love me, you'll be there early.
Okay, if you love me, you won't sit me next to Tommy.
Don't be late, Kevin.
- Goodbye.
- You forgot your book.
Oh, my God.
She told me to meet her at her office at 1.
Like I've been summoned to the principal's.
- She didn't tell you what it's about? - No, why did I agree to go? All she does is make me feel lousy about myself.
Yeah, same with me.
One look from my dad, and I could feel his disappointment.
I mean, look, the good news is you get it over with, then we can go to Kitty's, take the scenic route.
Hey, why don't we spend the night? Maybe get a motel room, go surfing in the morning.
Just you and me? No, me, you and my mom.
Come on, I need something to look forward to.
It could be our first little getaway.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
That'd be cool.
I'm not gonna make it up the hill with my knee.
So I'll meet you at the car, okay? Cool.
I'll book the motel room later, all right? - It will be fun.
- Yep.
Oh, my God.
I gotta call Sarah.
Here.
When does she want it done by? End of the day.
She's unbelievable.
She fires half the staff and just expects me to pick up on all the work.
She wants to make sure our profit margins are up.
- And then she'll chill, all right? - Justin.
- All right, I'll wait.
- Yep.
Okay, so that "take it slow" plan? Not happening.
- I don't have time for this now.
- No, I don't have time.
She wants to spend the night in Santa Barbara and get a motel room.
A motel room? Rebecca wants to have sex with him.
He's freaking out.
- Why? - Because he likes her.
Okay, so, what do I do? Well, whatever happens will be fine.
I don't want fine, okay? Fine is for the girl you meet at a bar and you don't remember her name.
Fine is not fine for this.
It's actually not even in the vicinity of fine, Sarah.
- He's losing his mind.
- Give me that.
No, stop it.
Hey.
Listen, you're putting way too much pressure on yourself.
All right, so, what do I do? Do I get, like, candles and massage oils? He's talking massage oil.
All right, that's it.
Give me the phone.
- What is wrong with you? - What are you? Rebecca is smoking hot, she wants to have sex with you.
It's not complicated.
Just do it.
- Could you put Sarah back on? - No.
You are acting like a girl.
So just cut the melodrama and get busy.
All right.
So by the end of the day.
Kevin Walker, don't you have a job? I was just texting.
You don't even need an office these days.
Give me a break.
You were just lying in wait, trying to pester me about Ryan.
- What? - Honestly, Kevin.
You are impossible.
Impossible? How about argumentative and unreasonable? - I didn't say that.
- But you're not disagreeing.
- Why are you being sensitive? - I am sensitive.
What I'm not is argumentative and unreasonable.
Yes, I do have opinions, but that does not make me contrary for the sake of being a contrarian.
- Are you and Scotty fighting? - What? No.
Despite what some people think, I actually don't like fighting.
I have to go.
Well, have a good day.
- I'll see you at Kitty's.
- Woop-dee-doo.
- Hey.
Hey.
It's so good to see you.
So, what's so important? Okay, no small talk.
This is Alan Simms, my attorney.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
So, what am I here for? I have asked Alan to revise the terms of your trust.
You're cutting me off? Your mother is removing herself as conservator, along with all conditions attached.
English, please? The $2 million that's in the trust that you were gonna get when you were 25, you don't have to wait any longer.
- It's yours.
- Uh Wait, I don't understand.
What's the catch? There are no stipulations.
Your mother's giving you the money outright.
Um - Could you give us a second? - Right.
Why are you doing this? I wanna make sure that you're all right.
No, I'm great, Mom.
I'm great.
Now I can actually go shopping and buy a fancy car.
Everything's perfect.
Why can't you just accept this gift in the spirit that it's being given? Which is what? To buy a relationship back with me? Mom, you never give anything without expecting something in return.
Rebecca, I want you to take this and create the kind of life that you want for yourself.
I don't believe that that's why you're giving it to me.
You know, when you're ready to have a real relationship with me, I'll be here.
But that has nothing to do with why I am giving you this.
This is yours.
You do whatever you want with it.
This meal is going to be so spectacular, your dishes will be in culture shock.
- You do have dishes, don't you? - Yes, yes, Mom.
And we also have pots and pans too.
Listen, did I happen to leave my bag there, by any chance? - Yes.
- Oh, thank God.
Do you think that maybe you could bring it with you tonight? And you know what? Can you zip it up? I have some tampons in there.
Kitty, I can handle tampons.
- It has not been that - Okay.
I don't wanna keep you from your paprika chicken.
And thank you.
And I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, see you later.
Huh.
- You look handsome.
- Thank you.
Sufficiently dad-like? You know, honey, you're not gonna have to worry one iota about that book because it's not a tell-all.
It just explores American politics and the fractured electorate.
Oh, so you read it? Well, um, you know, actually, that's a very funny story.
I wrote it.
- You wrote a book about me? - No, I didn't write about you.
- I hear about it from my staff? - It's not about you, it's about family.
Honey, if you read it and don't like it, I won't publish it.
I don't even know what's worse, that you wrote a book about me or that you're telling me about it now two minutes before the social worker is supposed to be here.
I I love you? Unbelievable.
Well, I haven't seen a home this thoroughly baby-proofed, ever.
Well, Kitty did it all herself.
- She's a self-starter.
- Oh.
So how long have you two been married? - A year.
- Eight months.
Well, yes.
Okay, yes, Robert's right, eight months.
But you know that time actually does fly when you're having fun? Is that a problem? Well, we generally prefer our prospective parents be married at least two years, but it's not written in stone.
- Good.
- Well, it does It does feel like we've been together forever.
- Soul mates, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, you know what? We tell each other everything.
No secrets, no lies.
Just love.
So, Robert, you split your time between D.
C.
And California about fifty-fifty? - That's about right.
- Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
I'm sorry, but that's not right.
No, it's more like seventy-thirty.
Especially when the Senate isn't in session.
And if you count vacations, then it's about eighty-twenty.
Okay.
And, Kitty, I know you work for Robert.
So does that mean you travel with him? No.
Oh, no.
No, I'm just his eyes and ears right here in California.
Yeah, but it is amazing how much she gets done when I'm away.
Oh.
Oh, but, yeah, it's true.
I'm a doer.
So I have to ask because I know you're a vocal NRA supporter, do you own firearms? - I do.
- No.
Well, I don't.
And it's not like Robert's a gun freak or anything.
I mean, yes, he's shot a couple of quail.
But, you know, really, there are loads of quail out there, so a couple of quail My guns are completely secure.
They're behind five locks.
I can get rid of them if you'd like.
Family's a priority.
Yes.
Yes, family's a priority.
And that's why we've invited my entire family here for dinner tonight.
- Ah.
- They are the most warm, loving, supportive people that you could ever imagine.
- That's wonderful.
- And my mother, a fantastic cook.
Oh, yum, yum.
You've gotta be kidding me.
That little b Oh, Mom, something's burning? Oh.
Oh! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Look at that.
Well, those look terrible.
Maybe I could scrape Oh, no.
They're ruined.
All right.
All right, fine.
So we won't have a second vegetable.
And you know what? It serves her right.
Who? Kitty? Yes, Kitty who has me slaving away in this kitchen due to the fact she can barely make toast.
Because she's too busy whoring this family for her own professional gain.
Wait, Kitty's a whore? Whoring.
Whoring.
She's whoring me, she's whoring you.
She's whoring all of us.
- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about this.
This.
A Family in Politics by Kitty Walker.
- Did she write that? - Oh, yes, she wrote it.
We all come off like a bunch of ridiculous caricatures.
Okay, listen.
Let's see.
"My mother, easily a blue-stater, claims to be socially progressive.
She's even got an arrest for possession of marijuana under her belt.
" What? My criminal record is now public knowledge? You know, it's a misdemeanor, Mom.
Says the drug addict.
- Mom, the pot.
- I know.
No, that pot, Mom.
Oh! Oh! Oh, God.
Crap.
Okay, where was I? - Hands off.
- Hands are off.
Wait.
Listen.
"But look past what she says and she's the embodiment of a '50s housewife, hiding herself behind cookbooks, a perfectly decorated home, and five children.
" She's calling me a hypocrite.
I read three national newspapers every morning, not to mention my subscription to The Economist.
She's got a point, though.
I mean, you - Mom, you kind of live in this kitchen.
- Oh, really? Really.
Why don't I read you what she says about you? What does she say about me? Justin, being impulsive isn't the worst thing in the world.
Well, it's not just impulsive.
- It's immature, uninformed.
- Don't forget disaffected.
And disaffected.
Listen to this.
You ready? "My brother's generation, while they may have their hearts in the right place, are the easiest to sway because every decision is an impulsive, emotional reaction.
Did my baby brother really think he was going to impress our dad because he enlisted after 9/11?" I didn't do it just to impress Dad.
Of course you didn't.
It's mean-spirited and condescending.
She better stop with this baby brother stuff too.
Tell her about the foreplay.
- Did Mom say, "foreplay"? Foreplay.
Yeah.
- I gotta find the foreplay.
- Where is it? - I know where.
Hold on.
Mom knows where the foreplay is.
Hold on.
- Hold on, Sarah.
- Hold on.
- Okay.
- Hello? Listen, I know you're all riled up about this, but I've gotta get through financial reports before Kitty's thing tonight.
"Otherwise, you'll come up short.
" - What? - Sarah, go to your fax machine.
"My older sister's a product of my mother's conflicted ideals.
She tries to do it all.
The home, the family, the 70-hour work week.
And then she's disappointed that she can't.
" But, well, Mom, that's true.
Yeah, well, you got off easy, Miss CEO-Soccer-Mom Who's-Too-Hard-on-Herself.
Meanwhile, I'm the liberal fascist, page 72.
Mom.
Liberal fascist, 72.
Look, I don't believe in book burning, but this book needs to be burned.
She's making me sound like some throwback from the '50s.
Listen to this.
"The immovable, entrenched in his own point of view, traditional man's man who believes he's obligated to hold the mantle of our forefathers.
" Well, you are running our dad's company.
She doesn't think she's gonna publish this, right? I don't know, "my brother, the retro white guy.
" - This has to be libelous.
- Maybe, why don't you ask Kevin? Oh, no.
That's right.
Retro white guy fired him.
Oh, don't even get me started.
What, I'm the obsessive cynic hiding behind identity politics? You know why I'm obsessive? I'm a gay man living in a country where I can't legally marry the guy I love in 48 states.
There's gotta be something we can do about this, right? You're not seriously asking me for legal advice, are you? Come on, we've been over this.
- Boys.
- I say we bail on dinner.
- No.
- Yeah.
No, Kitty is really relying on us to be there.
It's an incredibly important night.
The least we can do is show up.
We haven't read everything.
Maybe it's not so bad, in context.
- The context that I read, it's pretty bad.
- Yeah.
Hey, is everyone ready to go? Listen, everyone, we're going to go to this dinner tonight, we're gonna help Kitty get her baby, and then we'll deal with this book.
Okay.
Great.
I've got to change.
Don't touch anything.
Hi, honey.
- Hey.
- What's going on? Are you sure that I can't get you another drink? No, I'm good.
Okay.
They're here.
They're here.
Hi, I know, the traffic was horrible.
I'm sorry.
No, it was fine.
Don't worry.
- If anyone messes this up, I'll kill them.
Okay.
You know us cavemen.
Any reason to fly into a rage, right? Hey.
- Are you okay? I'm just really car sick.
- She was reading in the car.
Hey, sorry we're late.
I can't help myself, irresponsible youth.
What? Who's? You told them about the book.
They learned of your treachery all by themselves.
- Oh, Mom, please - Here.
- Ugh! - The chicken's in the trunk.
Your entire family has read a book that I just found out existed? Because they're nosy and out of line.
When you were hiding it from me, it was manipulative.
- Now, it's irresponsible.
- Irresponsible? I just covered every outlet in this house.
Well, at least we have that going for us.
Sarah said that everybody was gonna be on their best behavior.
Great, so we're all in the same boat.
Mad at you and pretending we're not.
Well, everybody dig in.
Don't be shy.
This family's been called a lot of things.
"Shy" isn't one of them.
I hear you're a wonderful cook.
I'm the happy homemaker.
I wish we had some meat and potatoes, because I'm that kind of a guy.
Stop it.
Sarah, how are Paige and Coop? Oh, actually, I swapped with Joe this week.
I have been working so hard at Ojai.
And still she falls short.
You know, I think, before we dig into this amazing meal that Nora has prepared for us, I just wanted to thank everybody for beating the traffic and Mm.
Excuse me.
- Coming up here and taking time out of your busy lives.
And, Carla, this is such a great opportunity to break bread with a family that is going to be So critical to this baby's life.
And I know that all of us are grateful that you could be here tonight, so thank you.
Oh, gosh.
Did I get it on you? Yeah.
Oh, you're soaking wet.
It's okay, it's okay.
Let me go get you Really, I have a long drive back.
- She's got a long drive back.
- I can still get her something dry.
- I can still The woman wants to drive home.
Ladies.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm so sorry.
That just wasn't a typical dinner, right? I think that everybody was very nervous.
Very nervous and, it - It's all right.
This is a difficult process.
- I'll be in touch.
- Oh.
- You did that on purpose.
- Kitty, I don't know.
I must've grabbed the cayenne pepper instead of the paprika.
I couldn't let her eat it.
Honestly, Kitty, it was a mistake.
- Honestly.
Yeah.
But eviscerating us in print is not a mistake.
Oh, Kevin, I didn't eviscerate anybody.
I was making a point about the electorate.
- By calling me a chauvinist? - Yeah, and me a cynical contrarian? You're taking it out of context.
The book isn't about any of you.
You represent archetypes of American voters.
Did you not understand that? Or, oh, I see, I see.
Did you skim ahead to your own names? Defend yourself all you want, Kitty.
Bottom line is we're hurt too.
And on top of all this Ryan situation You know what? I don't give a rat's ass about Ryan.
Of course, you don't.
You're only thinking about yourself.
That's right, thinking about myself.
It was bad enough when you were in New York on the radio, using us as fodder for your career.
But at least then, you were 3000 miles away.
Now it just feels like you're spying on us.
Spying on you? You never asked our permission, Kitty.
You just used us.
Mom, calm down.
God, I thought we were past this.
I thought you'd changed.
I hate this part of you.
Nora, that's enough.
The very thing that you like least about Kitty is the thing that I love the most about her.
She is upfront, she is honest, she is opinionated.
Just like the rest of you.
She invited you here because she thought you'd make a good impression.
- Oh, I see you haven't read the book.
- No.
I didn't go into her bag, read something she wasn't prepared for me to see.
Robert, I understand you're feeling protective, but this is between Kitty and us.
No, tonight is about Kitty and me.
It's not about anybody else.
All you needed to do was keep your opinions to yourself for two hours.
- We tried.
- You didn't try hard enough.
I spend all my time dealing with spoiled, self-centered politicians.
And tonight, I feel like I never left D.
C.
Well, we aren't politicians, Robert.
We're human beings.
We don't know how to hide our feelings and pretend everything is hunky-dory.
It's not pretending, it's being considerate.
I am considerate.
I consider all my children all the time.
And you don't know what it's like to feel that you've been betrayed by one of them.
No, no, I know how you feel.
I know how all of you feel because the minute you have a feeling, you start spewing with complete disregard like a bunch of children.
You're adults.
Get a filter.
Sorry, it's getting late.
You stood up for me, and now you're cleaning? What are you gunning for, Husband of the Year? Kitty, I don't even know what to say.
Yeah.
I I can't change my family, but Here.
You can read it if you want.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Um, do you wanna maybe order some dinner? I mean, we really didn't get to eat much.
No, I'm good.
Tonight was pretty weird, huh? Yeah.
Robert's usually so composed.
Justin, there's something that I've been thinking about.
And it's been kind of difficult for me to bring it up because it's sort of awkward.
And it hasn't really been the right time Okay, Rebecca, I'm sorry, but I can't have sex with you.
- Wait.
What? - No, I want to, I really want to.
Just - Not now.
- No, I don't wanna have sex either.
I mean, not now.
So you brought me to the motel, and you weren't thinking about having? No.
I mean, I have.
But, Justin, I've been distracted.
My mother gave me $2 million.
- What? - Yeah.
And I don't really know what to do about it.
Two million dollars? Like, $2 million? Yeah, and, Justin, I wanted to talk to you about it, but I It's your father's money, and you have issues with him.
No, Rebecca, I mean, you can - No, of course, you can talk to me.
- And I know why she's doing it too.
I mean, she obviously wants to buy me back.
This woman invested 20 years of her life being a mistress for this money.
I mean, it's dirty money.
I mean, if I take this money, I am just as bad as her.
Wow.
Yeah.
And, Justin, it's It's not that I don't think about sex with you.
I do.
A lot.
- Okay.
- I just I've made a lot of bad choices in my life.
Me too.
And I think a part of me was just really relieved that you didn't push it because I want it to be different with you.
I want it to be about us.
Does that sound lame? No.
No.
So we wait.
We wait.
You wanted to see me? I'm glad you could make it.
I didn't realize I was punching a clock.
Sarah, I was here at 6 a.
m.
This morning and I have been here every single night until 11:00.
That's because you don't have a life.
And FYI, I've been here too.
So if you'd please tell me what you want, I've gotta finish the other 17 things you put on my desk.
We have all been busting our asses to try to save this company out from under the mess you made.
Oh, come on.
I'm just an easy target.
Your daughter won't talk to you.
My mother just told you about Ryan Lafferty.
It's clear you're taking your self-loathing out on me.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Now, I need the numbers for this quarterly inventory report on my desk by 2:00 this afternoon.
Kitty, hi.
I wasn't expecting you.
Well, I just wanted to return these.
Thanks.
- You didn't have to.
- No, I know, but I just I was just writing a letter to your social worker.
I was apologizing for dumping water all over her.
You know what? It doesn't even matter.
Robert and I have our own strikes against us anyway.
I mean, he's bi-coastal and we've only been married for under a year and Surely they won't hold that against you.
No, well, yeah.
People assume that just because we are who we are, that we can get a baby.
But it just doesn't work that way.
It doesn't feel that way.
It feels like we even have to be more careful because everything we do is public knowledge.
And you know what? It doesn't even matter.
It's in the hands of fate.
I know this is hard for you but you're going to get your baby.
And I'm so sorry I let you down and I didn't come through for you.
When I got home last night, I took out my short stories.
You mean, the ones that you wrote for that class? They're the only things I've done in a very long time that aren't all about you kids.
I need to feel that there's more to me.
That I'm talented and important.
Mom, you're the most important person in this family.
No, your dad was the one you respected and admired.
I was just the one that drove you back and forth to ballet class.
And then you started the adoption process.
And you wanted my advice and my help and my chicken paprika.
And then you read the book.
It wasn't the words, let's face it.
You've called me worse.
I guess I had just started to believe that you valued me and you looked up to me.
And then I read your description of me.
And it felt like you still just saw me as the person who made your lunches.
Oh, Mom.
Mom, no.
Maybe I thought that when I was 10 or 15, but You know what? I brought you this because I do value your opinion.
And, also, I don't think that you read the first page when you read it before.
"This book is dedicated to Nora Walker, my mother.
Who taught me how to fight and how to stand up for who I am.
Without her, this book wouldn't be possible.
" You're right.
It doesn't seem so bad in context.
Hey.
- You snore, you know.
- I don't.
Yeah, you do.
You know, like, little, like: - Little snore noises.
- Shut up.
How'd you sleep? Okay? It was the best first time "sleeping" together ever.
It was my first time sleeping with a millionaire.
Well, don't get used to it.
It's not gonna last.
Okay, suddenly, you're not half as sexy.
Shut up.
You weren't getting any anyway.
- So you wanna go surfing? - I don't know.
I feel like you should get back and talk to your mom.
Okay.
What about breakfast? I'm starving.
Breakfast.
Done.
Not the book again.
- I'm almost halfway through.
- Hey.
You know what? - It's so good.
- Really? Really, she doesn't paint us quite as bad as I thought.
More importantly, it's such an interesting perspective on politics.
I'm so proud of her.
Of course, I don't agree with half of it.
You didn't come here to talk about this.
No, no.
I need to give you this.
All right.
Rebecca, this is your trust.
Your quite substantial trust as I remember.
- What are you doing? - It doesn't belong to me anymore.
And I want you and your family to have it, so I'm gonna put it in your name.
Or you could give it to Ryan.
I don't know.
Well, that implies I'm never gonna meet him.
You're not? You know, Rebecca, Kitty does mention you in the book.
It's this really small passage I think we all overlooked because we were so busy skimming for our own names.
She calls you "collateral damage.
" And I think it's true.
I think you've suffered more than anyone for this family's missteps.
This Ryan person, why should he go through what you went through? Why should he be collateral damage? He shouldn't and he's not going to be.
About this trust, I'll hold it for you in case you change your mind.
I won't.
Well, I'll hold it for you for a rainy day.
Now, I know that you're still mad at me.
But I just got off the phone with Carla Hansen, and We passed.
Oh, thank God.
I mean, that's if you still wanna raise a child with me.
With you, yeah.
With your family, you know, I may need a couple of weeks.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about my family, and the book, and the chicken You don't have to apologize about your family.
I mean, at least they show up.
You know, it's more than I can say for most people.
So do I need to apologize for the book? For not telling me about it, yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry for not telling you about the book.
And I'm sorry for the way that I finally told you, when I told you.
- So you read it? - Twice.
Twice? Really? Hm.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Okay, so this is my punishment? The silent treatment.
- Maybe.
- Well, it's cruel.
I don't know what to say.
I mean, I knew you could write, but this is so smart.
It's so human and incredibly relevant in a post-partisan debate.
Oh, my God.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh, really, really? Oh, my God.
- There's one thing.
- What? You know, if you publish this, you're gonna have to resign.
Well, what do you mean? I can't have people on my staff writing books.
But it's completely up to you.
- Well, I'm glad you called.
- Well, it was long overdue.
And thanks for expediting our distribution license.
- It's my job.
- Well, you do it very well.
Thank you.
Hey, look, if there's anything else, you know, that I can do? - Do you mean that? - Of course.
Well, I have a daughter who's been going through this really rough time.
Mental health issues.
And I was trying to find this old friend of hers.
You have access to public records, don't you? State records, yes.
I was hoping that if she could reconnect with this friend it might help.
Not a problem.
- All I need is a name.
- Oh, great.
I can't tell you what a huge favor this is.
His name is Ryan.
Ryan Lafferty.
- Oh, Robert.
We have a 20 million dollar loan hanging over our heads.
Cuts have to be made across the board.
- We are looking at the legal team.
- You mean Kevin? Dad does have another child out there.
- It is better if everything is out in the open.
- Rebecca and I have started dating.
Justin, not now.
- What? I am done keeping the family secrets.
- Sarah.
- He's letting you go, Kevin.
Oh, Sarah.
- What? We're making cuts at Ojai.
Restructuring.
Oh, my God.
William had another lover.
And they had a child together.
I don't believe you.
Yes, you do.
Are you gonna get that? Oh, no.
I don't want to.
You know, it's like the fourth call in an hour.
Oh, fine.
Fine.
It's my mother.
Again.
Maybe something's wrong.
She can't take a hint.
That's what's wrong.
I know you're angry at her, - but she's your mom.
- If I pick up now, she's gonna make me feel guilty, then I'm gonna give her a second chance.
And she is inevitably gonna do something awful.
That's just the story of my life.
But I really don't wanna talk about this right now.
Oh, you know what? I should get going.
Wait.
You're leaving? Yeah, I have a meeting tomorrow morning.
Early, so - We haven't even finished the movie.
- Oh, I've seen it before.
The evil robots die, and the hero gets the girl.
I've seen it like a thousand times.
So I'll call you when I get home, okay? I'm gonna go.
- You guys haven't had sex yet? - Can you not sound so shocked? We haven't been together that long, Sarah.
- Sorry, I just assumed you had.
- Well, we haven't, okay? - Okay, good, good.
- Good? That's all you've got, is good? No, I've also got clean socks, finally.
Okay, you know what? You're right, it's Sarah, it's weird.
I didn't say it was weird.
I didn't say anything.
You know, I didn't even want to be having this conversation.
Look, come on, Sarah.
My bedroom's had a revolving door since puberty.
- My mattress is crash-tested.
- Thank you.
- Not an image I needed.
- Like, this is usually my thing.
And I don't know why, but I'm - What? - I'm confused.
Are you really surprised? Ten minutes ago, you were practically related.
Okay, we were never related, all right? And that was months ago, and we're over that.
We're really over that.
I don't know what to say, Justin.
Maybe you should speak to Tommy, or ask Kevin.
Have you ever gotten sex advice from Kevin? - No.
- Yeah.
And Tommy? He'd never let me hear the end of it.
I'm not asking for sex tips, okay? I'm asking you for relationship advice.
You're my sister.
That's what sisters do.
They give relationship advice.
Help me.
Okay.
Well, you have a complicated history.
The last couple of relationships you've been in, you were either using or it was self-destructive.
That's true.
You're with someone you care about.
You don't wanna screw it up.
All right.
So, what do I do? I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but if you're asking this many questions, maybe you should take it slow.
Hey, Kitty.
Oh, hey.
I thought you weren't coming home until morning.
- I got out early, what are you doing? - Oh, baby-proofing.
The social worker's gonna do a safety check.
Okay, I've got outlet covers, corner guards, lock box for medicine cabinet, toilet seat latches.
Done, done, done and done.
- How did the vote go? - Oh, lower emissions passed.
And with only one highway to nowhere and a government building named after Senator Issendrac's kid.
I heard a rumor By the way, the social worker's gonna be here at 2 and I'm gonna go see my mom about the menu.
I'm gonna be back by noon and everybody's coming at 5, which means 6, but that will work because dinner's at 6:30.
- Think it's a good idea to invite them? - Yeah, I think it's great.
- I think that having a stable, loving - Stable? I don't want another scene like the beach house.
But everybody knows how important tomorrow night is and - Even Sarah? - Well, you know Sarah.
She feels so bad about not writing that recommendation letter, that she will do anything I want and, oh God, I gotta figure out what I'm gonna wear.
Hey, you could wear a muumuu.
People are still gonna know you're a good mom.
Oh, well, I don't know about that, but, well, you know, I am a pretty great communications director.
I put the questions for the Commerce Committee and the National Response proposal on your desk.
Did you say something about a rumor? Yeah, apparently, somebody on the staff is shopping a book about the campaign.
So would you get into that for me? Morning.
I come bearing gifts.
Well, so much for trimming the fat around here.
About that.
I wanted to clear the air between us.
Kevin didn't deserve to be fired, Holly.
Well, I wish I had another choice.
I know that this has been hard on you.
You and I know each other too long for me to believe that you came here to commiserate with me about my nephew and to watch me eat doughnuts.
This other woman that William was seeing, what did you know about her? Nothing.
You worked with him for decades.
You knew about me.
You must have known something.
- I can't help you, Holly.
- Come on, you can tell me.
Was she the only one? Was William a part of Ryan's life? This is driving you crazy, isn't it? Good.
Now you know how Nora felt when she found out about you.
Listen, if you wanna get these reports by the end of the day, I should get back to work.
Um Thank you for the breakfast.
How about veal piccata with a side of capellini? Oh, too heavy, too much cholesterol.
- And baby cows? No.
- Oh.
All right.
How about this? Cedar plank salmon with ginger glaze? Yeah, but potentially full of mercury.
I just want her to think that I'm totally up on all the health issues.
Well, that just leaves us with chicken.
How about chicken paprika? - Oh, it's simple, homey.
- Perfect.
Perfect, just make sure that it's organic, free-range and antibiotic-free.
All right, I will this time.
But, Kitty, you really have to learn your way around the kitchen.
No, absol Look.
You have his number, so track him down.
- Call me later.
Bye.
- What are you doing? I thought I was the one to decide whether to contact Ryan Lafferty I'm not tracking my half-brother.
I'm trying to track clients because my full-brother downsized me.
- Oh, Kevin - Don't worry.
I will be civil to Tommy tonight, despite the fact that I don't have Scotty there as a buffer.
- But speaking of Ryan Lafferty - Stop it.
Stop it now, you can't badger me into making a decision.
Look, I think we're all a little curious.
If Rebecca is not our half-sister, we need to know who it is.
I kind of got used to the fact that there's six of us now.
Kind of like The Brady Bunch.
- Oh, well, Jan - Marcia.
Why don't you ask Rebecca if the Brady Bunch fantasy was all that it was cracked up to be? I just wanted to know if Mom had made a decision yet.
I haven't.
I can't believe that we are having this conversation.
Why don't we just open up a foster home for all of Dad's illegitimate offspring? Well, there's only one.
Please, God.
And, Kevin, we are not talking about him today.
Today we are only talking about Kitty's baby and my future grandbaby, which is why I'm off to the market to buy the world's healthiest chicken.
Oh, I love you, Mom.
- I love you.
- I'll see you soon.
Thank you.
- Bye.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- You're certainly chummy.
Oh, well, you know, hopefully I'm about to have a child.
And I guess that makes you closer.
And, plus, I need Nora Supermom to impress the social worker.
You know what? I'm a nervous wreck.
You're married to a U.
S.
Senator.
Why don't you just cut the line? Because that's not how it works, Kevin, okay? We had to jump through the same hoops as everybody else.
- That is - Yeah.
Okay.
Um It's not just about that.
I accidentally wrote a book about Robert and the campaign.
Okay.
How do you accidentally write a book? I don't know, I was having lunch with my friend Tracy, who does - She does happen to be a book agent.
- That's convenient.
And I was telling her all about how boring it is on the campaign trail and, you know, how get stuck in hotels and airplanes.
And I was telling her how I would write down my thoughts.
And then, she asked me to send them to her and And, voilĂ , a book? Yeah, she sort of took all my thoughts, and she organized them into chapters.
Wow.
Okay, so, what is it? Some steamy tell-all exposing all the smut and depravity from presidential politics? No, it is an exploration of the state of politics.
Oh, no depravity? No, not that I remember, no.
No smut either.
Then that's a shame.
Okay, so, what's the? Oh, Robert doesn't know yet.
No.
No, he wants me to find out who wrote it.
Ooh.
Okay, well, just explain what happened to him.
He's a politician.
They're used to being written about.
And if it's as dull as you say it is, I'm sure No, no, no.
No, no, I never said it was dull.
Oh, well, I'm sure he'll just be happy it's you and not someone else.
No, you're right.
God, I hope you're right.
- It is - I think it's you.
Hello? Hey, honey.
You know, listen, I No, not over the phone.
Face-to-face.
No, no.
What? Oh, God, you're kidding me.
All right, all right.
No, no, I'm leaving now.
Okay, bye.
- What? - There's an accident on the 101.
I've gotta get there before the social worker.
Please, 5:00.
If you love me, you'll be there early.
Okay, if you love me, you won't sit me next to Tommy.
Don't be late, Kevin.
- Goodbye.
- You forgot your book.
Oh, my God.
She told me to meet her at her office at 1.
Like I've been summoned to the principal's.
- She didn't tell you what it's about? - No, why did I agree to go? All she does is make me feel lousy about myself.
Yeah, same with me.
One look from my dad, and I could feel his disappointment.
I mean, look, the good news is you get it over with, then we can go to Kitty's, take the scenic route.
Hey, why don't we spend the night? Maybe get a motel room, go surfing in the morning.
Just you and me? No, me, you and my mom.
Come on, I need something to look forward to.
It could be our first little getaway.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
That'd be cool.
I'm not gonna make it up the hill with my knee.
So I'll meet you at the car, okay? Cool.
I'll book the motel room later, all right? - It will be fun.
- Yep.
Oh, my God.
I gotta call Sarah.
Here.
When does she want it done by? End of the day.
She's unbelievable.
She fires half the staff and just expects me to pick up on all the work.
She wants to make sure our profit margins are up.
- And then she'll chill, all right? - Justin.
- All right, I'll wait.
- Yep.
Okay, so that "take it slow" plan? Not happening.
- I don't have time for this now.
- No, I don't have time.
She wants to spend the night in Santa Barbara and get a motel room.
A motel room? Rebecca wants to have sex with him.
He's freaking out.
- Why? - Because he likes her.
Okay, so, what do I do? Well, whatever happens will be fine.
I don't want fine, okay? Fine is for the girl you meet at a bar and you don't remember her name.
Fine is not fine for this.
It's actually not even in the vicinity of fine, Sarah.
- He's losing his mind.
- Give me that.
No, stop it.
Hey.
Listen, you're putting way too much pressure on yourself.
All right, so, what do I do? Do I get, like, candles and massage oils? He's talking massage oil.
All right, that's it.
Give me the phone.
- What is wrong with you? - What are you? Rebecca is smoking hot, she wants to have sex with you.
It's not complicated.
Just do it.
- Could you put Sarah back on? - No.
You are acting like a girl.
So just cut the melodrama and get busy.
All right.
So by the end of the day.
Kevin Walker, don't you have a job? I was just texting.
You don't even need an office these days.
Give me a break.
You were just lying in wait, trying to pester me about Ryan.
- What? - Honestly, Kevin.
You are impossible.
Impossible? How about argumentative and unreasonable? - I didn't say that.
- But you're not disagreeing.
- Why are you being sensitive? - I am sensitive.
What I'm not is argumentative and unreasonable.
Yes, I do have opinions, but that does not make me contrary for the sake of being a contrarian.
- Are you and Scotty fighting? - What? No.
Despite what some people think, I actually don't like fighting.
I have to go.
Well, have a good day.
- I'll see you at Kitty's.
- Woop-dee-doo.
- Hey.
Hey.
It's so good to see you.
So, what's so important? Okay, no small talk.
This is Alan Simms, my attorney.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
So, what am I here for? I have asked Alan to revise the terms of your trust.
You're cutting me off? Your mother is removing herself as conservator, along with all conditions attached.
English, please? The $2 million that's in the trust that you were gonna get when you were 25, you don't have to wait any longer.
- It's yours.
- Uh Wait, I don't understand.
What's the catch? There are no stipulations.
Your mother's giving you the money outright.
Um - Could you give us a second? - Right.
Why are you doing this? I wanna make sure that you're all right.
No, I'm great, Mom.
I'm great.
Now I can actually go shopping and buy a fancy car.
Everything's perfect.
Why can't you just accept this gift in the spirit that it's being given? Which is what? To buy a relationship back with me? Mom, you never give anything without expecting something in return.
Rebecca, I want you to take this and create the kind of life that you want for yourself.
I don't believe that that's why you're giving it to me.
You know, when you're ready to have a real relationship with me, I'll be here.
But that has nothing to do with why I am giving you this.
This is yours.
You do whatever you want with it.
This meal is going to be so spectacular, your dishes will be in culture shock.
- You do have dishes, don't you? - Yes, yes, Mom.
And we also have pots and pans too.
Listen, did I happen to leave my bag there, by any chance? - Yes.
- Oh, thank God.
Do you think that maybe you could bring it with you tonight? And you know what? Can you zip it up? I have some tampons in there.
Kitty, I can handle tampons.
- It has not been that - Okay.
I don't wanna keep you from your paprika chicken.
And thank you.
And I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, see you later.
Huh.
- You look handsome.
- Thank you.
Sufficiently dad-like? You know, honey, you're not gonna have to worry one iota about that book because it's not a tell-all.
It just explores American politics and the fractured electorate.
Oh, so you read it? Well, um, you know, actually, that's a very funny story.
I wrote it.
- You wrote a book about me? - No, I didn't write about you.
- I hear about it from my staff? - It's not about you, it's about family.
Honey, if you read it and don't like it, I won't publish it.
I don't even know what's worse, that you wrote a book about me or that you're telling me about it now two minutes before the social worker is supposed to be here.
I I love you? Unbelievable.
Well, I haven't seen a home this thoroughly baby-proofed, ever.
Well, Kitty did it all herself.
- She's a self-starter.
- Oh.
So how long have you two been married? - A year.
- Eight months.
Well, yes.
Okay, yes, Robert's right, eight months.
But you know that time actually does fly when you're having fun? Is that a problem? Well, we generally prefer our prospective parents be married at least two years, but it's not written in stone.
- Good.
- Well, it does It does feel like we've been together forever.
- Soul mates, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, you know what? We tell each other everything.
No secrets, no lies.
Just love.
So, Robert, you split your time between D.
C.
And California about fifty-fifty? - That's about right.
- Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
I'm sorry, but that's not right.
No, it's more like seventy-thirty.
Especially when the Senate isn't in session.
And if you count vacations, then it's about eighty-twenty.
Okay.
And, Kitty, I know you work for Robert.
So does that mean you travel with him? No.
Oh, no.
No, I'm just his eyes and ears right here in California.
Yeah, but it is amazing how much she gets done when I'm away.
Oh.
Oh, but, yeah, it's true.
I'm a doer.
So I have to ask because I know you're a vocal NRA supporter, do you own firearms? - I do.
- No.
Well, I don't.
And it's not like Robert's a gun freak or anything.
I mean, yes, he's shot a couple of quail.
But, you know, really, there are loads of quail out there, so a couple of quail My guns are completely secure.
They're behind five locks.
I can get rid of them if you'd like.
Family's a priority.
Yes.
Yes, family's a priority.
And that's why we've invited my entire family here for dinner tonight.
- Ah.
- They are the most warm, loving, supportive people that you could ever imagine.
- That's wonderful.
- And my mother, a fantastic cook.
Oh, yum, yum.
You've gotta be kidding me.
That little b Oh, Mom, something's burning? Oh.
Oh! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Look at that.
Well, those look terrible.
Maybe I could scrape Oh, no.
They're ruined.
All right.
All right, fine.
So we won't have a second vegetable.
And you know what? It serves her right.
Who? Kitty? Yes, Kitty who has me slaving away in this kitchen due to the fact she can barely make toast.
Because she's too busy whoring this family for her own professional gain.
Wait, Kitty's a whore? Whoring.
Whoring.
She's whoring me, she's whoring you.
She's whoring all of us.
- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about this.
This.
A Family in Politics by Kitty Walker.
- Did she write that? - Oh, yes, she wrote it.
We all come off like a bunch of ridiculous caricatures.
Okay, listen.
Let's see.
"My mother, easily a blue-stater, claims to be socially progressive.
She's even got an arrest for possession of marijuana under her belt.
" What? My criminal record is now public knowledge? You know, it's a misdemeanor, Mom.
Says the drug addict.
- Mom, the pot.
- I know.
No, that pot, Mom.
Oh! Oh! Oh, God.
Crap.
Okay, where was I? - Hands off.
- Hands are off.
Wait.
Listen.
"But look past what she says and she's the embodiment of a '50s housewife, hiding herself behind cookbooks, a perfectly decorated home, and five children.
" She's calling me a hypocrite.
I read three national newspapers every morning, not to mention my subscription to The Economist.
She's got a point, though.
I mean, you - Mom, you kind of live in this kitchen.
- Oh, really? Really.
Why don't I read you what she says about you? What does she say about me? Justin, being impulsive isn't the worst thing in the world.
Well, it's not just impulsive.
- It's immature, uninformed.
- Don't forget disaffected.
And disaffected.
Listen to this.
You ready? "My brother's generation, while they may have their hearts in the right place, are the easiest to sway because every decision is an impulsive, emotional reaction.
Did my baby brother really think he was going to impress our dad because he enlisted after 9/11?" I didn't do it just to impress Dad.
Of course you didn't.
It's mean-spirited and condescending.
She better stop with this baby brother stuff too.
Tell her about the foreplay.
- Did Mom say, "foreplay"? Foreplay.
Yeah.
- I gotta find the foreplay.
- Where is it? - I know where.
Hold on.
Mom knows where the foreplay is.
Hold on.
- Hold on, Sarah.
- Hold on.
- Okay.
- Hello? Listen, I know you're all riled up about this, but I've gotta get through financial reports before Kitty's thing tonight.
"Otherwise, you'll come up short.
" - What? - Sarah, go to your fax machine.
"My older sister's a product of my mother's conflicted ideals.
She tries to do it all.
The home, the family, the 70-hour work week.
And then she's disappointed that she can't.
" But, well, Mom, that's true.
Yeah, well, you got off easy, Miss CEO-Soccer-Mom Who's-Too-Hard-on-Herself.
Meanwhile, I'm the liberal fascist, page 72.
Mom.
Liberal fascist, 72.
Look, I don't believe in book burning, but this book needs to be burned.
She's making me sound like some throwback from the '50s.
Listen to this.
"The immovable, entrenched in his own point of view, traditional man's man who believes he's obligated to hold the mantle of our forefathers.
" Well, you are running our dad's company.
She doesn't think she's gonna publish this, right? I don't know, "my brother, the retro white guy.
" - This has to be libelous.
- Maybe, why don't you ask Kevin? Oh, no.
That's right.
Retro white guy fired him.
Oh, don't even get me started.
What, I'm the obsessive cynic hiding behind identity politics? You know why I'm obsessive? I'm a gay man living in a country where I can't legally marry the guy I love in 48 states.
There's gotta be something we can do about this, right? You're not seriously asking me for legal advice, are you? Come on, we've been over this.
- Boys.
- I say we bail on dinner.
- No.
- Yeah.
No, Kitty is really relying on us to be there.
It's an incredibly important night.
The least we can do is show up.
We haven't read everything.
Maybe it's not so bad, in context.
- The context that I read, it's pretty bad.
- Yeah.
Hey, is everyone ready to go? Listen, everyone, we're going to go to this dinner tonight, we're gonna help Kitty get her baby, and then we'll deal with this book.
Okay.
Great.
I've got to change.
Don't touch anything.
Hi, honey.
- Hey.
- What's going on? Are you sure that I can't get you another drink? No, I'm good.
Okay.
They're here.
They're here.
Hi, I know, the traffic was horrible.
I'm sorry.
No, it was fine.
Don't worry.
- If anyone messes this up, I'll kill them.
Okay.
You know us cavemen.
Any reason to fly into a rage, right? Hey.
- Are you okay? I'm just really car sick.
- She was reading in the car.
Hey, sorry we're late.
I can't help myself, irresponsible youth.
What? Who's? You told them about the book.
They learned of your treachery all by themselves.
- Oh, Mom, please - Here.
- Ugh! - The chicken's in the trunk.
Your entire family has read a book that I just found out existed? Because they're nosy and out of line.
When you were hiding it from me, it was manipulative.
- Now, it's irresponsible.
- Irresponsible? I just covered every outlet in this house.
Well, at least we have that going for us.
Sarah said that everybody was gonna be on their best behavior.
Great, so we're all in the same boat.
Mad at you and pretending we're not.
Well, everybody dig in.
Don't be shy.
This family's been called a lot of things.
"Shy" isn't one of them.
I hear you're a wonderful cook.
I'm the happy homemaker.
I wish we had some meat and potatoes, because I'm that kind of a guy.
Stop it.
Sarah, how are Paige and Coop? Oh, actually, I swapped with Joe this week.
I have been working so hard at Ojai.
And still she falls short.
You know, I think, before we dig into this amazing meal that Nora has prepared for us, I just wanted to thank everybody for beating the traffic and Mm.
Excuse me.
- Coming up here and taking time out of your busy lives.
And, Carla, this is such a great opportunity to break bread with a family that is going to be So critical to this baby's life.
And I know that all of us are grateful that you could be here tonight, so thank you.
Oh, gosh.
Did I get it on you? Yeah.
Oh, you're soaking wet.
It's okay, it's okay.
Let me go get you Really, I have a long drive back.
- She's got a long drive back.
- I can still get her something dry.
- I can still The woman wants to drive home.
Ladies.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm so sorry.
That just wasn't a typical dinner, right? I think that everybody was very nervous.
Very nervous and, it - It's all right.
This is a difficult process.
- I'll be in touch.
- Oh.
- You did that on purpose.
- Kitty, I don't know.
I must've grabbed the cayenne pepper instead of the paprika.
I couldn't let her eat it.
Honestly, Kitty, it was a mistake.
- Honestly.
Yeah.
But eviscerating us in print is not a mistake.
Oh, Kevin, I didn't eviscerate anybody.
I was making a point about the electorate.
- By calling me a chauvinist? - Yeah, and me a cynical contrarian? You're taking it out of context.
The book isn't about any of you.
You represent archetypes of American voters.
Did you not understand that? Or, oh, I see, I see.
Did you skim ahead to your own names? Defend yourself all you want, Kitty.
Bottom line is we're hurt too.
And on top of all this Ryan situation You know what? I don't give a rat's ass about Ryan.
Of course, you don't.
You're only thinking about yourself.
That's right, thinking about myself.
It was bad enough when you were in New York on the radio, using us as fodder for your career.
But at least then, you were 3000 miles away.
Now it just feels like you're spying on us.
Spying on you? You never asked our permission, Kitty.
You just used us.
Mom, calm down.
God, I thought we were past this.
I thought you'd changed.
I hate this part of you.
Nora, that's enough.
The very thing that you like least about Kitty is the thing that I love the most about her.
She is upfront, she is honest, she is opinionated.
Just like the rest of you.
She invited you here because she thought you'd make a good impression.
- Oh, I see you haven't read the book.
- No.
I didn't go into her bag, read something she wasn't prepared for me to see.
Robert, I understand you're feeling protective, but this is between Kitty and us.
No, tonight is about Kitty and me.
It's not about anybody else.
All you needed to do was keep your opinions to yourself for two hours.
- We tried.
- You didn't try hard enough.
I spend all my time dealing with spoiled, self-centered politicians.
And tonight, I feel like I never left D.
C.
Well, we aren't politicians, Robert.
We're human beings.
We don't know how to hide our feelings and pretend everything is hunky-dory.
It's not pretending, it's being considerate.
I am considerate.
I consider all my children all the time.
And you don't know what it's like to feel that you've been betrayed by one of them.
No, no, I know how you feel.
I know how all of you feel because the minute you have a feeling, you start spewing with complete disregard like a bunch of children.
You're adults.
Get a filter.
Sorry, it's getting late.
You stood up for me, and now you're cleaning? What are you gunning for, Husband of the Year? Kitty, I don't even know what to say.
Yeah.
I I can't change my family, but Here.
You can read it if you want.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Um, do you wanna maybe order some dinner? I mean, we really didn't get to eat much.
No, I'm good.
Tonight was pretty weird, huh? Yeah.
Robert's usually so composed.
Justin, there's something that I've been thinking about.
And it's been kind of difficult for me to bring it up because it's sort of awkward.
And it hasn't really been the right time Okay, Rebecca, I'm sorry, but I can't have sex with you.
- Wait.
What? - No, I want to, I really want to.
Just - Not now.
- No, I don't wanna have sex either.
I mean, not now.
So you brought me to the motel, and you weren't thinking about having? No.
I mean, I have.
But, Justin, I've been distracted.
My mother gave me $2 million.
- What? - Yeah.
And I don't really know what to do about it.
Two million dollars? Like, $2 million? Yeah, and, Justin, I wanted to talk to you about it, but I It's your father's money, and you have issues with him.
No, Rebecca, I mean, you can - No, of course, you can talk to me.
- And I know why she's doing it too.
I mean, she obviously wants to buy me back.
This woman invested 20 years of her life being a mistress for this money.
I mean, it's dirty money.
I mean, if I take this money, I am just as bad as her.
Wow.
Yeah.
And, Justin, it's It's not that I don't think about sex with you.
I do.
A lot.
- Okay.
- I just I've made a lot of bad choices in my life.
Me too.
And I think a part of me was just really relieved that you didn't push it because I want it to be different with you.
I want it to be about us.
Does that sound lame? No.
No.
So we wait.
We wait.
You wanted to see me? I'm glad you could make it.
I didn't realize I was punching a clock.
Sarah, I was here at 6 a.
m.
This morning and I have been here every single night until 11:00.
That's because you don't have a life.
And FYI, I've been here too.
So if you'd please tell me what you want, I've gotta finish the other 17 things you put on my desk.
We have all been busting our asses to try to save this company out from under the mess you made.
Oh, come on.
I'm just an easy target.
Your daughter won't talk to you.
My mother just told you about Ryan Lafferty.
It's clear you're taking your self-loathing out on me.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Now, I need the numbers for this quarterly inventory report on my desk by 2:00 this afternoon.
Kitty, hi.
I wasn't expecting you.
Well, I just wanted to return these.
Thanks.
- You didn't have to.
- No, I know, but I just I was just writing a letter to your social worker.
I was apologizing for dumping water all over her.
You know what? It doesn't even matter.
Robert and I have our own strikes against us anyway.
I mean, he's bi-coastal and we've only been married for under a year and Surely they won't hold that against you.
No, well, yeah.
People assume that just because we are who we are, that we can get a baby.
But it just doesn't work that way.
It doesn't feel that way.
It feels like we even have to be more careful because everything we do is public knowledge.
And you know what? It doesn't even matter.
It's in the hands of fate.
I know this is hard for you but you're going to get your baby.
And I'm so sorry I let you down and I didn't come through for you.
When I got home last night, I took out my short stories.
You mean, the ones that you wrote for that class? They're the only things I've done in a very long time that aren't all about you kids.
I need to feel that there's more to me.
That I'm talented and important.
Mom, you're the most important person in this family.
No, your dad was the one you respected and admired.
I was just the one that drove you back and forth to ballet class.
And then you started the adoption process.
And you wanted my advice and my help and my chicken paprika.
And then you read the book.
It wasn't the words, let's face it.
You've called me worse.
I guess I had just started to believe that you valued me and you looked up to me.
And then I read your description of me.
And it felt like you still just saw me as the person who made your lunches.
Oh, Mom.
Mom, no.
Maybe I thought that when I was 10 or 15, but You know what? I brought you this because I do value your opinion.
And, also, I don't think that you read the first page when you read it before.
"This book is dedicated to Nora Walker, my mother.
Who taught me how to fight and how to stand up for who I am.
Without her, this book wouldn't be possible.
" You're right.
It doesn't seem so bad in context.
Hey.
- You snore, you know.
- I don't.
Yeah, you do.
You know, like, little, like: - Little snore noises.
- Shut up.
How'd you sleep? Okay? It was the best first time "sleeping" together ever.
It was my first time sleeping with a millionaire.
Well, don't get used to it.
It's not gonna last.
Okay, suddenly, you're not half as sexy.
Shut up.
You weren't getting any anyway.
- So you wanna go surfing? - I don't know.
I feel like you should get back and talk to your mom.
Okay.
What about breakfast? I'm starving.
Breakfast.
Done.
Not the book again.
- I'm almost halfway through.
- Hey.
You know what? - It's so good.
- Really? Really, she doesn't paint us quite as bad as I thought.
More importantly, it's such an interesting perspective on politics.
I'm so proud of her.
Of course, I don't agree with half of it.
You didn't come here to talk about this.
No, no.
I need to give you this.
All right.
Rebecca, this is your trust.
Your quite substantial trust as I remember.
- What are you doing? - It doesn't belong to me anymore.
And I want you and your family to have it, so I'm gonna put it in your name.
Or you could give it to Ryan.
I don't know.
Well, that implies I'm never gonna meet him.
You're not? You know, Rebecca, Kitty does mention you in the book.
It's this really small passage I think we all overlooked because we were so busy skimming for our own names.
She calls you "collateral damage.
" And I think it's true.
I think you've suffered more than anyone for this family's missteps.
This Ryan person, why should he go through what you went through? Why should he be collateral damage? He shouldn't and he's not going to be.
About this trust, I'll hold it for you in case you change your mind.
I won't.
Well, I'll hold it for you for a rainy day.
Now, I know that you're still mad at me.
But I just got off the phone with Carla Hansen, and We passed.
Oh, thank God.
I mean, that's if you still wanna raise a child with me.
With you, yeah.
With your family, you know, I may need a couple of weeks.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about my family, and the book, and the chicken You don't have to apologize about your family.
I mean, at least they show up.
You know, it's more than I can say for most people.
So do I need to apologize for the book? For not telling me about it, yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry for not telling you about the book.
And I'm sorry for the way that I finally told you, when I told you.
- So you read it? - Twice.
Twice? Really? Hm.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Okay, so this is my punishment? The silent treatment.
- Maybe.
- Well, it's cruel.
I don't know what to say.
I mean, I knew you could write, but this is so smart.
It's so human and incredibly relevant in a post-partisan debate.
Oh, my God.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh, really, really? Oh, my God.
- There's one thing.
- What? You know, if you publish this, you're gonna have to resign.
Well, what do you mean? I can't have people on my staff writing books.
But it's completely up to you.
- Well, I'm glad you called.
- Well, it was long overdue.
And thanks for expediting our distribution license.
- It's my job.
- Well, you do it very well.
Thank you.
Hey, look, if there's anything else, you know, that I can do? - Do you mean that? - Of course.
Well, I have a daughter who's been going through this really rough time.
Mental health issues.
And I was trying to find this old friend of hers.
You have access to public records, don't you? State records, yes.
I was hoping that if she could reconnect with this friend it might help.
Not a problem.
- All I need is a name.
- Oh, great.
I can't tell you what a huge favor this is.
His name is Ryan.
Ryan Lafferty.