Bunk'd (2015) s03e02 Episode Script

The mess hall, and our new cabins are almost ready! Yeah, telling them it was an "arts and crafts project" was a great way of skirting child labor laws.
I've never been more proud of you.
Zuri, the purpose of this was to build unity, and give the kids a sense of ownership over the new Camp Kikiwaka.
That's good.
Make sure to say it just like that when the cops come knocking.
This is boring.
I want to do something fun.
Uh, but learning to use a hammer is fun.
Not for the teacher.
Not my fault.
You kept moving your hand when you were holding the nail.
Yeah, 'cause you kept hitting me.
Well, well, well What a quaint, cozy little cabin.
Yeah, is it for your dolls? Big talk from a kid who could fit in my doll's stroller.
I still can't believe you made your cabin two stories.
I took a few extracurricular structural engineering classes.
Which is why I was too busy to go on dates this school year.
Dude, I just met you and even I know that's not true.
Eh, worth a shot.
All righty, who's ready to get this first meeting under the new owners started? Me! First order of business.
For legal reasons, I need to put one of you down as the person in charge of the camp.
Me! Think we all saw that comin'.
I should be in charge, obvi.
I am the smartest, hardest working, and least likely to embezzle camp funds.
Cough, Zuri, cough.
Well, it shouldn't be Ravi.
The last thing he ran was the lizard club, and even the lizards quit that.
Guys, I think I should be in charge.
I am 18, I love the camp, plus I'm the only one tall enough to change the light bulbs in the office without a step stool.
Great, so it is a three-way tie.
Well, in my family, we'd always play "Rock, Rock, Rock.
" You mean, "Rock, Paper, Scissors?" Nope.
We'd just throw rocks at each other and the last one standing won.
Good thing you didn't play "Scissors, Scissors, Scissors.
" Well, we did, until the "incident.
" But Mee-Maw is living proof you don't need thumbs to lead a full life.
Actually, Lou, I think since you've been here the longest, you should cast the deciding vote.
Wait! What? I choose you, bestie! Yay! What a shock.
Well, with Emma in charge, the camp may fail miserably.
But at least, everyone's manicures will look "supes cute.
" Let me get this straight.
So, Emma's in charge because she's old and can reach things? I would like to point out, I shaved three times this year, and I can put lifts into my shoes.
Guys, Emma's gonna be an awesome leader.
She's great with the campers, she was an amazing CIT, and I really think she's ready for this.
Aww.
Thanks, Lou.
So it's settled.
And nobody had to throw rocks or scissors at each other.
The day ain't over yet.
Ooh! I call top bunk! My gosh, isn't this so much nicer than our old cabin? I've seen rest stop bathrooms nicer than our old cabin.
What do you mean? I thought it was charming.
And, it's not officially Woodchuck cabin without Uhh, A giant burnt rat? No.
Woody, the woodchuck.
Uhh, Lou.
I was thinking we should get a new Woodchuck mascot.
Shh.
Not in front of Woody! Woodchucks have very good hearing.
You think he would've heard that big rig that took him out.
Actually, Lou, I was thinking we should get a brand new mascot to go along with the brand new Camp Kikiwaka.
Brand new camp? Yeah, I made a big list of things to do to improve this whole place! And I'm gonna need your help.
Wow! You're planning on making a lot of changes.
You shouldn't see this.
Zuri, I want you and Destiny to decorate the new Woodchuck cabin.
Yay! Great! And remember, my new policy is the camper is always right! So Destiny gets whatever she wants.
Yay! Say, what now? But I'm a camper, too.
Yeah, but you're also co-owner, so you have to do whatever your newly elected leader says.
Lou, do you still have that gavel? Why, do you want to call another owner's meeting? Nope.
I have such a surprise for you two! I'm not the biggest fan of surprises.
And neither is my bladder.
Ta-da! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Well, what do you think? Dude, this place is awesome! There's so much to climb and jump off of! A guy could really see himself getting hurt in here.
Okay, bad answer.
Hey! The ZoomMaster 5000! Whoa, Ravi, your pores are super clogged.
Whoo-hoo! Yay! Whoa! Dude, nice job on the cabin.
Up-top! Oh, thank you.
My goal this year is to be the coolest counselor-slash-owner Like the mighty phoenix, our cabin has risen from the ashes, and now, I too am reborn! So, slap me some skin my And he's gone.
Anyhoo, enjoy your schwag, Grizzle-bros.
I am off to prepare lunch.
Ooh, a label maker! Sweet, I'm gonna have an all-night label sesh! You really know how to party.
Hey! Keep your greasy fingers off.
I know where they've been, and I know you didn't wash them afterwards.
Oh, ya? Smell this.
Eew! And I want a floor-length mirror here, and of course, my own vanity here.
Mmm.
And that would make a great cubby hole for my glitter! That's my bed.
Geez, diva much? Oh, and I want a chair shaped like a tiara.
Are you writing this down? Oh, I'm writing something down.
Something wrong, Zuri? Destiny, we all have to share this cabin, so maybe you could think of things other people might like, too.
Okay, like what? How about some country music posters? Sure! Anybody but creaky old Blake Shelton.
Will you excuse me a moment? Okay, where were we? Oh, yeah, you were telling me what to do.
Emma said that I can have anything I want.
And she's in charge, not you.
Fine, then do it yourself.
And I hope you break a nail! You take that back! Hey, you didn't write down any of what I said! And that is a really bad word! And we should convert the fire pit to run on gas, it's faster.
Oh, and motors for the canoes so nobody has to break a sweat! Man, ideas are just spilling out of me! So are the eggs from breakfast.
At least, you stopped spitting on my clipboard.
Whoa, an inflatable cabin.
Whoever lives in that thing, should not play "Scissors, Scissors, Scissors.
" No, it's a bouncy house.
I'm going to order a bunch more of these, and turn the lake into a mini water park! But, Emma, this is our fishin' spot.
Only thing we don't catch in there is cooties.
Look, Lou, I know change is difficult, but mini water parks are the hottest things at summer camps right now.
Who cares what the other camps are doing? I do.
I need to make this camp great.
The campers are depending on me.
Plus, Ravi and Zuri are just waiting for me to fail, so they can rub it in my face.
Well, I think the camp is great the way it is.
Really? It was voted the "Worst Place To Visit" in all of Maine.
Number two was a used coffin store.
Yeah, I know, but they have the best slogan.
"The price is so nice, you'll wanna die twice.
" Holy glitz! It looks like a beauty pageant just threw up in here! Sorry, but you're the one who left me to decorate it myself.
I think all the hair spray has finally seeped into your brain.
Where did you get all this? My pageant bags.
Gotta be prepared You never know when a local beauty contest might happen.
The town's called Moose Rump.
All you would need to win a beauty pageant here is two teeth.
What did you do to my bed? I told you, glitter storage.
I can't believe you took advantage when my back was turned.
I'm usually the one that does that to people! Well, then, you shouldn't have left.
In the pageant world, we have a saying.
"If you storm off the stage, you don't get a trophy.
Or a ride home.
" Well, guess what? Your glitter just became litter! What are you doing? No! Look what you did! Hey, it's not my fault.
Lou's the one blowing leaves on the lawn! Hey! Wanna see my impression of the cover of a romance novel? Ate a bug.
Hey, dude! I invented a new sport called "Crashketball.
" Wanna play? A game that combines all the dangers of sports and heights? I'd rather use your dirty socks as a washcloth.
What's a washcloth? And there's reason number two why I don't want to play with you.
Suit yourself.
Incoming! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Score! What are you talking about? You broke my ZoomMaster! I know.
In Crashketball, everything you break is worth four points.
Eight if it's a bone.
Let's see how you like it when I break your stuff.
Ow! The only thing you broke was your foot.
And your football lamp.
Fine, if that's how you wanna roll.
Oh, it's on.
Lou, are you done converting the fire pit to run on gas yet? Yup.
I do not know how chimney sweeps stay so jolly.
Well, now that you're done with that, you can go order a new Spirit Stick.
Wait, a new Spirit Stick? But ours has been at the camp for a 100 years.
Yeah, it smells like it, too.
Anyway, I found a really cool one online.
It lights up, spins, and plays Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.
Emma, I love you, and you're my best friend, but you are ruining Camp Kikiwaka.
Wow.
You're not being very supportive.
I'm just trying to do what's best for everyone.
Oh, really? Is that why you had me change the sign to read "Emma Ross's Camp Kikiwaka?" Yes! It's called "branding.
" I'm very popular on the Internet.
I knew I should have voted for Ravi.
Nobody on the Internet likes him.
Oh, geez.
I'm sorry you're not happy with the way I'm leading.
Maybe you should fill out a comment card.
This may be a bad time, but I need you to go make a comment card box.
And some cards.
The camp's coolest counselor just made cookies for You have got to be kidding me.
Cookies! Thanks, Ravi, I'm starving.
No! You get no cookies! Ravi, we can explain.
Ya.
Yeah, it was all Matteo's fault! Lies! Your conscience is as dirty as your fingernails! Silence! I am terribly disappointed in you both.
I bent over backwards trying to make this the coolest cabin in the world.
But apparently, that means diddly-squat! Forgive my language.
Sorry, Ravi.
Yeah, we really let you down.
Guys, just go.
Dangit! I found us the perfect place to hang out while Ravi cools off.
A bouncy house? I don't know.
It's perfect! You get to be safe indoors, and I get to get rid of all the extra energy my mom always complains about.
Hey, keep it down out there, I'm trying to pout! What are you guys doing here? Ravi got mad at us and kicked us out.
Really? Zuri and I got into a fight, too.
I was just about to bounce off some steam.
Great, we'll join you! Uh, are you sure it's safe? I mean, there's no lifeguards out here.
Safer than being out in the woods by yourself.
FYI, that hawk circling you, looks hungry.
Whoo! Ya! Uh, Lou, can I help you? Nope.
Just waiting for Emma to tell me what I should order.
Oh, is this one of those girl things? Like when you all go to the bathroom together, or conspire to give me fake phone numbers? Oh come on, Lou, whatever you want is fine with me.
What I want is to jam that new spirit stick Okay! Well, this is getting awkward.
So, let me make this easy for you.
Predictably, Emma neglected to place the food order so I had to make a meal using only a hunk of cheese, some sawdust, and what I pray is Hummus.
Sorry, I was busy sending back the animals I got for the petting zoo.
Wolverines are not as cuddly as the pictures on the website.
Emma, there you are! Because of you, and your crazy idea that Destiny should decide on cabin decorations, we got into a big fight! Okay, fine, I'll talk to her.
Where is she? I don't know.
I've looked everywhere for her and I can't find her.
Come to think of it, I have not seen Finn or Matteo either.
Which explains why my headache is gone.
Where could they be? Well, you messed everything else up today maybe you sent them back instead of the wolverines.
I hope not.
Otherwise, the sack race is going to turn into a bloodbath.
Well, they were nowhere else, so they must be here.
Wait, where is the bouncy house? Didn't you tie it up? I started to, but you distracted me! Whoo-hoo! Yay! This is awesome! Everytime I bounce, I get a little more glitter out of my hair.
I hate to admit it, but this is pretty fun! Ya! Ooh! I see the bouncy house! It is floating away! And the kids are inside! What? I told you it would be popular.
Uh, guys There's a problem.
What? That bear is back and it wants to bounce? We've floated away from the dock! Relax, we'll just swim back to shore.
But I never learned to swim! Really? Yeah, public pools are more pee than water.
And you don't want to know what fish do in lakes.
Go without me.
No! We may argue, and you complain more than my grandma when they don't call her bingo numbers, but you're my friend.
I'm not going without you.
Okay.
I'll swim for help.
Uh-oh.
I am not swimming out there.
Exactly! It's filled with fish poop.
No, I mean we're headed right for a waterfall! Help, please! They are about to go over the falls! We have to do something! Don't worry, I got this.
Canada is a 10-minute hike that way.
Emma, Ravi, I already got you fake passports.
Lou, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to stay behind and take the fall.
And you wonder why I didn't vote for you.
Come on.
This is horrible! I know! I always thought that when I died, I would be with much cooler people.
Look! There's a dead tree hanging over the water! If we can get closer to shore, maybe the house can get stuck on it! Awesome idea! How do we do that? We need to steer this thing over there.
Maybe we can bounce our way to the tree! None of this would've happened at chess camp! They're almost to the waterfall! Wait! They are bouncing! Maybe they just wanted to have a little fun before they, you know Splat! Glug-glug-glug.
Zuri, we get it! Come on, let's go! Go, go, go! It worked! We're stuck on the tree! Now we can walk across it to get to shore! Okay.
Come on.
Come on, guys.
Okay, it's not that hard.
Matteo, let's go! I can't! You better! It's not gonna hold much longer.
You can do it.
We have to jump! No! I'm scared! This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not very athletic.
Don't worry! We'll jump together! On three! Ready? One! Three! Oh, thank the gods! I'm so glad you're all right, I don't even mind the gray hair you just gave me.
I think that's bird poop.
That I mind.
I wasn't nervous at all.
Then why are your fingernails still digging into my arm? You three have only been here a week, and you've almost plummeted over a waterfall, and then, eaten by a bear.
What is next? Are you going to be kidnapped by coyotes? That would be cool! You and I have very different definitions of the word "cool.
" BTW, Finn, that was a really smart move skipping the number two when the branch broke.
What? Ta-da! Oh, guys.
You put everything back together yourselves? Yup.
We're sorry for destroying the cabin, Ravi.
Can you ever forgive us? Of course.
After all, I am the Camp's Coolest Counselor, or "Triple C.
" You know, if you guys start calling me that, it might catch on.
You got it, Triple C! We're not really gonna start calling him that, are we? Just give him this one.
He has so little.
There.
You're back home where you belong, Woody.
Thanks, Emma.
Thank you, Emma.
Who's a polite woodchuck in a cute hat? I am.
Yes, you are! Lou, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to make the camp better, and I got carried away.
Can you forgive me? Of course.
But I could forgive you a lot faster if you gave me a raise.
Don't push it.
And done.
Wow.
We really did a great job decorating.
Yeah, and it was fun doing it together.
Hey! That would be a great spot for my Hunter Hayes poster! Oh, no, that's for my sweetie, Blake Shelton! Or as I call him, Mr.
Zuri Ross.
Only old people listen to Blake Shelton! What's next? Plastic wrap on the furniture, Grandma? Lou, I'm gonna need that gavel again.
Well, my time as leader got off to a rocky start, but I still think we can make this the best camp ever.
I know we can.
And making this fire pit run on gas was a great idea! I even added a little extra juice so can make scores of s'mores for senoritas and senors.
Sorry.
I rhyme when I'm excited.
Everyone, get your marshmallows ready! Okay, here we go.
Well, my marshmallow may not be gooey, but my corneas are.
Too much juice? Little bit.