Dan Vs. (2010) s03e02 Episode Script
The Mummy
Stupid expired lunch meats, why are you so affordable? (loud gurgle) What the? Where's the toilet paper? I should have at least ten rolls left.
Mr.
Mumbles, toilet paper is not a toy.
If you need to shred something, that's why I stole Chris' shoe.
Mr.
Mumbles? Where are you? (mr.
mumbles meow) Don't tell me you've got a date with that tabby across the street, the whole neighborhood knows he's got a catnip problem.
(mr.
mumbles meow) If he's out by that dumpster again, I'm gonna-- Sand? Egyptian Cat worship? Missing toilet paper? MUMMY! (smashing sound) Ahh meatball shark! Chris! I need to use your bathroom! Ugh, Dan.
Were those knives? What knives? Dan, remember our conversation about visiting hours? (dan o.
s.
) What? I waited until morning out of respect for you! It's four o'clock.
(dan o.
s.
) in the morning! What is this? Where is the good toilet paper? We only have one kind of toilet paper.
Three ply? You people are savages.
Anything less than five ply might as well be sandpaper.
Well, I'm sorry if our toilet paper isn't up to your lofty standards.
You're only cheating yourself.
Why are you even using our bathroom to begin with? Did you break yours? No, I didn't break mine.
I've been robbed.
Pilfered.
Hijacked.
Encrimed.
Not a real word.
The beauty of a living language is you can make up new words whenever you want.
Shakespeare did it, you flueswonkler.
Anyway, this is beside the point.
A mummy stole my toilet paper! It's true.
Why would a mummy steal your toilet paper? Because it's super high end.
Imported Egyptian cotton.
I have a guy.
Where do you get the money to splurge on fancy toilet paper.
Priorities, Chris.
When it's important you find the money.
Does that mean I can have my twenty dollars back? I'm not even going to justify that with an answer.
Are you sure you didn't just run out? Run out? Run out?! I may not know the middle two digits of my social security number, I may not know what's actually in the jar in my fridge marked 'not pickles' but, I swear by Odin's frosty beard, I know to the square how much toilet paper I have and I have been robbed! Yeah, but a mummy? Well, the History Museum did just open a new Egyptian exhibit.
Ah ha! See! Come on, Chris.
We have a mummy to revengenate.
Not a word.
Okay, Dan.
You can have Chris for a little bit, but I need him tonight.
We're going to M'Opera.
It's a mime opera.
This is the last run of -- So, keep the mayhem to a minimum.
I stopped listening after 'platypus'.
I never said 'platypus'.
Didn't you? Hey, have you seen my other sneaker? I'm not exactly clear on the plan.
The mummy stole my stuff, so we're gonna steal his stuff.
Technically, isn't it the museum's stuff? And, isn't that a felony? California penal code eight thirty three dot four, sub-paragraph B.
It's only a felony if someone sees you doing it.
You're making that up.
Am I? Alright, we need to hide until after closing.
Dan, this place doesn't close for another eight hours.
Why don't we just come back? With that level of commitment, it's no wonder Elise left you.
What?! Elise didn't leave me! Well, where has she been for the last six months? Dan, you just saw her at the house not twenty minutes ago! Quick, someone's coming! And here we have your typical cavemen warming themselves around the fire after a long day hunting tasty, succulent mammoth.
Mm! Ugh, boring.
Cavemen are dumb.
Look at that one, he's so dirty.
And tiny.
And ugly.
Ow! The caveman just poked me! Animatronics.
On to the New World.
Did you know the ancient Mayans predicted the end of my marriage? (tour guide o.
s.
) Ha ha ha.
I'm so lonely.
Aw.
It's foam rubber.
You expected real mammoth? Well, real mammoth flavoring at least.
Now we wait.
Remember, hold perfectly still.
(chomp) Still not mammoth.
Mind your own business.
Shouldn't we swing by the Civil War and grab a musket or something? Chris, you don't use a civil war musket to kill a mummy.
That's strictly swamp creature weaponry.
Yes.
This will do nicely.
Uh, Dan.
You should see this.
(smash) Okay, you've got his stuff, let's go.
If we go, how is he going to know that I'm the one who got revenge? You could leave a note? (creak) (groaning) Aaaaaaaahhhh! Dan, I think maybe you should give the stuff back.
Man, that thing feels like it gets smaller every night.
Hi, I'm Ahkenrah.
Sup? Sup? Sup!? You broke into my apartment, messed with my Mr.
Mumbles and stole my personal toiletries, that's what's up! Get him, Chris! Why me? Because you're the Chris.
Look, I don't want any trouble.
Do I have to do everything? Hey, hey, ow, what the heck, bro? There! Vengence, thy name is Dan.
Great.
Can we go now? Sure.
Hold these.
Why? Because if I get caught with them, I'll go to jail.
You know getting revenge on an apparently immortal Pharaoh was much easier than I would have thought.
That's what happens when I declare something Persona- Non-Dan.
That means someone who isn't you.
Right, and because they aren't me, they don't stand a chance.
When I set my mind to something, it's as good as done? Oh, no.
Mummy's curse! Mummy's curse! Uh, bro.
Cut that out.
Little help? Your stuff is right there.
Take it.
What, that junk? Keep it, it's all fake anyway.
Remind me to demand a refund from the museum.
We snuck in, remember? What's your point? What are you doing here? I dunno, I just got excavated, you guys seemed cool.
I thought we could hang.
Hang? Hang?! You stole my toilet paper! Yeah, bro.
My bad.
Though you can't really blame that on me though, you're the only one in a hundred miles with rolls of Egyptian cotton just laying around.
I needed a touch up.
Oh, nasty! I've been in pyramids younger than this sandwich.
That sandwich was a collector's item! That's it.
Get out! Chris! Help me! I don't know, Dan.
I don't want to get cursed.
There is no mummy's curse.
There so is, dude.
Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it.
So what am I supposed to do with him?! Just ignore him.
That's what Elise always tells me to do.
Why would Elise give you advice on dealing with annoying mummies? Mummies right.
Good night, Dan.
So, you wanna play pinochle? Elise? You up? I brought presents from the museum.
Oh crud.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan? Dan.
Dan.
WHAT?!?! Dan.
Can I use this spoon? Morning.
Whatcha making? Bacon? For me? I know, I screwed up.
But tonight, you and me, M'Opera for sure.
Dan isuhuh occupied.
Promise? I promise.
Thanks! Morning, little man.
What are you still doing here? Why aren't you back at the museum? That place is boring.
I borrowed a shirt, you don't mind do you? First my toilet paper, now my couture? What are we doing today? Well, I don't know what you're going to do, but I'm going to be trying to get rid of you.
Hah up top.
Mr.
Mumbles, come have some cereal.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Oh, look.
She likes me.
Who's the earthly embodiment of Bastet? You are.
Yes, you are.
(purrs loudly) E tu, Mr.
Mumbles? Ack! Sorry.
Had a bad case of scarabs for years now.
Just can't get rid of the little buggers.
That's it.
I need to run to the store for a A new chandelier.
I'll be right back.
Wait here.
Hello? Chris? I'm coming over.
The mummy never went home last night.
Who is this? Shut up.
We've got to get rid of him, he's driving me crazy.
Well, don't bring him here.
I told Elise you were busy today.
Don't be an idiot.
I left him at my place.
I'll be there in a second.
No, Dan.
I'm serious.
I can't.
Dan.
Dan? Ah, crud.
What? Aw, crud.
What? What are you doing here? I'm four thousand years old, bro.
You really think I'm gonna fall for 'gotta run to the market'? If Elise comes home and finds him, she's gonna kill me.
Get him out of here.
What do you think I've been trying to do? Actually, I was talking to Ahkenrah.
Elise! You're back? Or did you just come to collect your things before moving on? Dan, stop that.
Chris, is that a mummy on our couch? Whoa! You dudes never told me you were living with a goddess.
Let me take those off your hands, my lady.
I'm Ahkenrah, Fourteenth King of the Neferankon Dynasty.
It's very nice to meet you, your majesty.
I'm Elise.
In my day, you would've been Elise-opatra, Queen of the Nile! A shimmering goddess who walks amongst mortals swathed in the finest gold and jewels.
Hey, I got her those! You stole them.
They're fake! Well, your highness, I was about to make some lunch.
Care to join me? Only if you let me cook it for you.
Deal.
Mummy's curse! That was delicious.
It's nice to have someone else do the cooking I cook.
and leave some for me.
Well, it is so nice to have someone to talk to, besides Dan, I mean.
He's always complaining.
Tell me about it.
Between him and Elise, it's like I can't do anything right.
Him and who? What? I'm pretty sure I didn't say anythingand I'm sorry? So, Ahkenrah, would you be interested in seeing the M'Opera? I have a spare ticket.
We have three tickets? No.
It would be an honor, my lady.
Excellent.
Chris, you stay here and play with Dan.
Later, bros.
So, not only did she leave you, she left you for a guy who's been dead for four thousand years.
Elise did not leave me.
(vroom)(honk) (elise o.
s.
) Bye! Don't wait up.
Okay, he's got to go.
Finally.
Maybe, I don't know, could we unravel him? Great, then we've got a naked four thousand year old dead guy we can't get rid of.
Light him on fire? That's your answer to everything; the yoga studio, the mailman, cottage cheese.
I've got it! Get on your computer.
Find out where we can buy a couple thousand frogs and two, no three million locusts.
Oh, and do a search on 'LA river' and 'turn to blood'.
We're not recreating the plagues, Dan.
Oh, come on.
That's what you said last time! How about just 'mummy problem'? Here we go.
There's a store in Little Egypt that sells mummy supplies.
Where is Little Egypt? East Pasadena.
It's like twenty miles away.
Twenty miles?! It might as well be real Egypt.
You're driving.
And I'm not paying for gas.
When have you ever? Welcome to Crazy Habbab's where you'll always find a pyramid of savings.
You're Crazy Habbab? Actually, I'm Larry.
Crazy Larry? No, just regular Larry.
We've got a little mummy problem.
Great, how much? Five bucks each.
Twenty total.
What are you doing? This is Little Egypt, We're supposed to haggle .
We'll give you one penny each.
Five bucks each.
Ten cents each.
Five bucks.
One dollar.
Five.
Bucks.
Three.
Five.
Fine! Five, but I'm taking this lollipop.
Those are twenty five cents.
Chris, pay the man.
I really thought that the wind was going to blow him over.
Feel the wrath of Dan! Ah, what the-- Hey, cut that out.
Chris, what are you doing? I will not be replaced by another man.
Not even a king! Replaced? And I will not let you turn Mr.
Mumbles against me, you you.
Feline filcher! Gah! What is that stuff? It's anti-mummy spray.
Why aren't you melting? Seriously.
Quit it.
I'm starting to get cheesed off here.
Get him in the mouth! Ack, pfft! Come on guys I mean it.
I'm Aaaaarggggh! Ha! It worked.
Kind ofOw! We should do something.
I want to see how this plays out.
Rrrraaaaaawwwwwrrrr! Help me! Oh, gross.
You think that's gross, I got some in my mouth.
Technically, I was just helping.
Uh, oh.
Curse.
Right? Grrrraaaaaaaa-- (sharp whistle) Mrrrrraaaaawwww? (smash) Hit him over the head? Seriously, that's all you had to do? Thanks.
You look fantastic by the way.
Thanks, my husband got it for me.
How could you think I was replacing you? I just wanted you to see what it's like, not getting to spend time with the person you love.
Uggh, get a room.
Dan, this is our house.
What now? What are the police doing here? Probably investigating those artifacts you stole.
We can't just walk him in without being seen.
Don't worry, I have a plan.
Help me strip him down.
(groan) Rrrraaaaawwwrrr! (girlish screams) All clear.
Quick, in the coffin.
Sarcophagus.
Why do you always have to be the smartest person in the room? There's a label right on it.
Lid.
Elise.
My tools.
Is it weirder that Dan knows how to use that, or that we had one in the garage and I didn't know it.
Oh, there's much weirder stuff in the garage.
What? Nothing.
There.
He's not getting out of that for at least another four thousand years.
(thumping) Hey! Not cool, bro.
Not cool.
Let's go.
Finally.
You have no idea how annoying it was having him just hanging around.
Yeah, no idea.
I'm sure.
Why are you still carrying the bandages? You really think I'm going to go out and spend another fifteen dollars on toilet paper? What am I made of diamonds? Good night, Dan.
Oh, and I'm telling you right now, I'm not free tomorrow night.
Elise and I are going to the Amish ballet.
If she ever comes back.
Good night, Dan.
Fine.
But I'm keeping a square for myself.
We are so not friends anymore, jerk.
You're the jerk! I guess you'll have to do.
(dan o.
s.
) Oh, come on!
Mr.
Mumbles, toilet paper is not a toy.
If you need to shred something, that's why I stole Chris' shoe.
Mr.
Mumbles? Where are you? (mr.
mumbles meow) Don't tell me you've got a date with that tabby across the street, the whole neighborhood knows he's got a catnip problem.
(mr.
mumbles meow) If he's out by that dumpster again, I'm gonna-- Sand? Egyptian Cat worship? Missing toilet paper? MUMMY! (smashing sound) Ahh meatball shark! Chris! I need to use your bathroom! Ugh, Dan.
Were those knives? What knives? Dan, remember our conversation about visiting hours? (dan o.
s.
) What? I waited until morning out of respect for you! It's four o'clock.
(dan o.
s.
) in the morning! What is this? Where is the good toilet paper? We only have one kind of toilet paper.
Three ply? You people are savages.
Anything less than five ply might as well be sandpaper.
Well, I'm sorry if our toilet paper isn't up to your lofty standards.
You're only cheating yourself.
Why are you even using our bathroom to begin with? Did you break yours? No, I didn't break mine.
I've been robbed.
Pilfered.
Hijacked.
Encrimed.
Not a real word.
The beauty of a living language is you can make up new words whenever you want.
Shakespeare did it, you flueswonkler.
Anyway, this is beside the point.
A mummy stole my toilet paper! It's true.
Why would a mummy steal your toilet paper? Because it's super high end.
Imported Egyptian cotton.
I have a guy.
Where do you get the money to splurge on fancy toilet paper.
Priorities, Chris.
When it's important you find the money.
Does that mean I can have my twenty dollars back? I'm not even going to justify that with an answer.
Are you sure you didn't just run out? Run out? Run out?! I may not know the middle two digits of my social security number, I may not know what's actually in the jar in my fridge marked 'not pickles' but, I swear by Odin's frosty beard, I know to the square how much toilet paper I have and I have been robbed! Yeah, but a mummy? Well, the History Museum did just open a new Egyptian exhibit.
Ah ha! See! Come on, Chris.
We have a mummy to revengenate.
Not a word.
Okay, Dan.
You can have Chris for a little bit, but I need him tonight.
We're going to M'Opera.
It's a mime opera.
This is the last run of -- So, keep the mayhem to a minimum.
I stopped listening after 'platypus'.
I never said 'platypus'.
Didn't you? Hey, have you seen my other sneaker? I'm not exactly clear on the plan.
The mummy stole my stuff, so we're gonna steal his stuff.
Technically, isn't it the museum's stuff? And, isn't that a felony? California penal code eight thirty three dot four, sub-paragraph B.
It's only a felony if someone sees you doing it.
You're making that up.
Am I? Alright, we need to hide until after closing.
Dan, this place doesn't close for another eight hours.
Why don't we just come back? With that level of commitment, it's no wonder Elise left you.
What?! Elise didn't leave me! Well, where has she been for the last six months? Dan, you just saw her at the house not twenty minutes ago! Quick, someone's coming! And here we have your typical cavemen warming themselves around the fire after a long day hunting tasty, succulent mammoth.
Mm! Ugh, boring.
Cavemen are dumb.
Look at that one, he's so dirty.
And tiny.
And ugly.
Ow! The caveman just poked me! Animatronics.
On to the New World.
Did you know the ancient Mayans predicted the end of my marriage? (tour guide o.
s.
) Ha ha ha.
I'm so lonely.
Aw.
It's foam rubber.
You expected real mammoth? Well, real mammoth flavoring at least.
Now we wait.
Remember, hold perfectly still.
(chomp) Still not mammoth.
Mind your own business.
Shouldn't we swing by the Civil War and grab a musket or something? Chris, you don't use a civil war musket to kill a mummy.
That's strictly swamp creature weaponry.
Yes.
This will do nicely.
Uh, Dan.
You should see this.
(smash) Okay, you've got his stuff, let's go.
If we go, how is he going to know that I'm the one who got revenge? You could leave a note? (creak) (groaning) Aaaaaaaahhhh! Dan, I think maybe you should give the stuff back.
Man, that thing feels like it gets smaller every night.
Hi, I'm Ahkenrah.
Sup? Sup? Sup!? You broke into my apartment, messed with my Mr.
Mumbles and stole my personal toiletries, that's what's up! Get him, Chris! Why me? Because you're the Chris.
Look, I don't want any trouble.
Do I have to do everything? Hey, hey, ow, what the heck, bro? There! Vengence, thy name is Dan.
Great.
Can we go now? Sure.
Hold these.
Why? Because if I get caught with them, I'll go to jail.
You know getting revenge on an apparently immortal Pharaoh was much easier than I would have thought.
That's what happens when I declare something Persona- Non-Dan.
That means someone who isn't you.
Right, and because they aren't me, they don't stand a chance.
When I set my mind to something, it's as good as done? Oh, no.
Mummy's curse! Mummy's curse! Uh, bro.
Cut that out.
Little help? Your stuff is right there.
Take it.
What, that junk? Keep it, it's all fake anyway.
Remind me to demand a refund from the museum.
We snuck in, remember? What's your point? What are you doing here? I dunno, I just got excavated, you guys seemed cool.
I thought we could hang.
Hang? Hang?! You stole my toilet paper! Yeah, bro.
My bad.
Though you can't really blame that on me though, you're the only one in a hundred miles with rolls of Egyptian cotton just laying around.
I needed a touch up.
Oh, nasty! I've been in pyramids younger than this sandwich.
That sandwich was a collector's item! That's it.
Get out! Chris! Help me! I don't know, Dan.
I don't want to get cursed.
There is no mummy's curse.
There so is, dude.
Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it.
So what am I supposed to do with him?! Just ignore him.
That's what Elise always tells me to do.
Why would Elise give you advice on dealing with annoying mummies? Mummies right.
Good night, Dan.
So, you wanna play pinochle? Elise? You up? I brought presents from the museum.
Oh crud.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan.
Dan? Dan.
Dan.
WHAT?!?! Dan.
Can I use this spoon? Morning.
Whatcha making? Bacon? For me? I know, I screwed up.
But tonight, you and me, M'Opera for sure.
Dan isuhuh occupied.
Promise? I promise.
Thanks! Morning, little man.
What are you still doing here? Why aren't you back at the museum? That place is boring.
I borrowed a shirt, you don't mind do you? First my toilet paper, now my couture? What are we doing today? Well, I don't know what you're going to do, but I'm going to be trying to get rid of you.
Hah up top.
Mr.
Mumbles, come have some cereal.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Oh, look.
She likes me.
Who's the earthly embodiment of Bastet? You are.
Yes, you are.
(purrs loudly) E tu, Mr.
Mumbles? Ack! Sorry.
Had a bad case of scarabs for years now.
Just can't get rid of the little buggers.
That's it.
I need to run to the store for a A new chandelier.
I'll be right back.
Wait here.
Hello? Chris? I'm coming over.
The mummy never went home last night.
Who is this? Shut up.
We've got to get rid of him, he's driving me crazy.
Well, don't bring him here.
I told Elise you were busy today.
Don't be an idiot.
I left him at my place.
I'll be there in a second.
No, Dan.
I'm serious.
I can't.
Dan.
Dan? Ah, crud.
What? Aw, crud.
What? What are you doing here? I'm four thousand years old, bro.
You really think I'm gonna fall for 'gotta run to the market'? If Elise comes home and finds him, she's gonna kill me.
Get him out of here.
What do you think I've been trying to do? Actually, I was talking to Ahkenrah.
Elise! You're back? Or did you just come to collect your things before moving on? Dan, stop that.
Chris, is that a mummy on our couch? Whoa! You dudes never told me you were living with a goddess.
Let me take those off your hands, my lady.
I'm Ahkenrah, Fourteenth King of the Neferankon Dynasty.
It's very nice to meet you, your majesty.
I'm Elise.
In my day, you would've been Elise-opatra, Queen of the Nile! A shimmering goddess who walks amongst mortals swathed in the finest gold and jewels.
Hey, I got her those! You stole them.
They're fake! Well, your highness, I was about to make some lunch.
Care to join me? Only if you let me cook it for you.
Deal.
Mummy's curse! That was delicious.
It's nice to have someone else do the cooking I cook.
and leave some for me.
Well, it is so nice to have someone to talk to, besides Dan, I mean.
He's always complaining.
Tell me about it.
Between him and Elise, it's like I can't do anything right.
Him and who? What? I'm pretty sure I didn't say anythingand I'm sorry? So, Ahkenrah, would you be interested in seeing the M'Opera? I have a spare ticket.
We have three tickets? No.
It would be an honor, my lady.
Excellent.
Chris, you stay here and play with Dan.
Later, bros.
So, not only did she leave you, she left you for a guy who's been dead for four thousand years.
Elise did not leave me.
(vroom)(honk) (elise o.
s.
) Bye! Don't wait up.
Okay, he's got to go.
Finally.
Maybe, I don't know, could we unravel him? Great, then we've got a naked four thousand year old dead guy we can't get rid of.
Light him on fire? That's your answer to everything; the yoga studio, the mailman, cottage cheese.
I've got it! Get on your computer.
Find out where we can buy a couple thousand frogs and two, no three million locusts.
Oh, and do a search on 'LA river' and 'turn to blood'.
We're not recreating the plagues, Dan.
Oh, come on.
That's what you said last time! How about just 'mummy problem'? Here we go.
There's a store in Little Egypt that sells mummy supplies.
Where is Little Egypt? East Pasadena.
It's like twenty miles away.
Twenty miles?! It might as well be real Egypt.
You're driving.
And I'm not paying for gas.
When have you ever? Welcome to Crazy Habbab's where you'll always find a pyramid of savings.
You're Crazy Habbab? Actually, I'm Larry.
Crazy Larry? No, just regular Larry.
We've got a little mummy problem.
Great, how much? Five bucks each.
Twenty total.
What are you doing? This is Little Egypt, We're supposed to haggle .
We'll give you one penny each.
Five bucks each.
Ten cents each.
Five bucks.
One dollar.
Five.
Bucks.
Three.
Five.
Fine! Five, but I'm taking this lollipop.
Those are twenty five cents.
Chris, pay the man.
I really thought that the wind was going to blow him over.
Feel the wrath of Dan! Ah, what the-- Hey, cut that out.
Chris, what are you doing? I will not be replaced by another man.
Not even a king! Replaced? And I will not let you turn Mr.
Mumbles against me, you you.
Feline filcher! Gah! What is that stuff? It's anti-mummy spray.
Why aren't you melting? Seriously.
Quit it.
I'm starting to get cheesed off here.
Get him in the mouth! Ack, pfft! Come on guys I mean it.
I'm Aaaaarggggh! Ha! It worked.
Kind ofOw! We should do something.
I want to see how this plays out.
Rrrraaaaaawwwwwrrrr! Help me! Oh, gross.
You think that's gross, I got some in my mouth.
Technically, I was just helping.
Uh, oh.
Curse.
Right? Grrrraaaaaaaa-- (sharp whistle) Mrrrrraaaaawwww? (smash) Hit him over the head? Seriously, that's all you had to do? Thanks.
You look fantastic by the way.
Thanks, my husband got it for me.
How could you think I was replacing you? I just wanted you to see what it's like, not getting to spend time with the person you love.
Uggh, get a room.
Dan, this is our house.
What now? What are the police doing here? Probably investigating those artifacts you stole.
We can't just walk him in without being seen.
Don't worry, I have a plan.
Help me strip him down.
(groan) Rrrraaaaawwwrrr! (girlish screams) All clear.
Quick, in the coffin.
Sarcophagus.
Why do you always have to be the smartest person in the room? There's a label right on it.
Lid.
Elise.
My tools.
Is it weirder that Dan knows how to use that, or that we had one in the garage and I didn't know it.
Oh, there's much weirder stuff in the garage.
What? Nothing.
There.
He's not getting out of that for at least another four thousand years.
(thumping) Hey! Not cool, bro.
Not cool.
Let's go.
Finally.
You have no idea how annoying it was having him just hanging around.
Yeah, no idea.
I'm sure.
Why are you still carrying the bandages? You really think I'm going to go out and spend another fifteen dollars on toilet paper? What am I made of diamonds? Good night, Dan.
Oh, and I'm telling you right now, I'm not free tomorrow night.
Elise and I are going to the Amish ballet.
If she ever comes back.
Good night, Dan.
Fine.
But I'm keeping a square for myself.
We are so not friends anymore, jerk.
You're the jerk! I guess you'll have to do.
(dan o.
s.
) Oh, come on!