Empty Nest (1988) s03e02 Episode Script

Life goes on, and so do we Just how we do it is no mystery One by one we fill the days We find a thousand different ways Sometimes the answer can be hard to find That's something I will never be I'm always here for anything that you need Rain or shine I'll be the one to share it all as life goes on We share it all as life goes on - Bye, daddy.
- Bye, my dear.
- Have a good day at work.
- Yeah, you too.
Hey, Russ, it's Harry.
I got a little good news.
I'm gonna be there for our game on Saturday.
Yeah, I know I missed the last six weeks in a row, but tell the guys that Harry will be there Saturday.
Yeah.
Ha, ha.
Oh, dreyf, golf Do you know how great it is just to walk outdoors among all those trees? Look who I'm asking.
- Morning, daddy.
- Morning, sweetheart.
What's with the golf clubs? Oh, I'm gonna play with the guys on Saturday.
Well, that sounds fun.
What What was that all about? Oh, her car's probably on fire again.
What? Daddy, you better refill this, we're almost out of fire spritz.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Carol You bought a car that burst into flames.
You've gotta get that fixed.
I already took it to the mechanic, daddy.
And just my luck, it wouldn't catch fire for him.
Isn't that always the way? Come here.
Sit down here, dear.
Please, now listen Today I'm gonna drive you to work.
Tomorrow, first thing in the morning, we get your car fixed.
I can't tomorrow.
I have no free time till this weekend.
Okay, Sunday.
Sunday I have a brunch date with Randolph, the promising commodities broker.
Thank god they only got him on a misdemeanor.
I'm free Saturday.
Fine, Saturday it is.
Daddy, you just made golf plans for Saturday.
Oh, daddy, I don't want you missing golf again.
It's no problem, dear.
We'll take your car in in the morning and I'll play the back nine.
- Thanks, daddy.
- Yeah.
Mail call! Here you go.
Weston Weston Weston Hm Weston.
Give me those! Charley, how come you've been bringing in our mail for the last few days? Obviously you haven't seen our new lady mail carrier.
Oh, there's somethin' about a gal in uniform.
Last night we ran naked through junk mail.
- What? - It was insane! We both ended up on ed macmahon's face.
That is disgusting! By the way, Harry, it's time to renew your subscription to penthouse.
I don't get penthouse! Well Yeah, you do.
All right, they printed your letter! Geez, another letter from this "IRS" guy! Who's "IRS"? Barbara, IRS isn't a guy.
This is the I.
R.
S.
Oh.
And they're saying you neglected to file taxes for last year! Well, I needed some extra time! I guess I should've filled out one of those thingamajigs.
Extensions? Oh.
Honey, it's too late for that! There are penalties here already.
You have to fill out a form and send it in immediately.
Okay, I'll get to it! All right, I'll help you.
No, daddy, I can do my taxes myself.
Are you sure? Barbara's competent, daddy.
Just as soon as the "IRS" gets her thingamajig, she'll be all set.
No, that's it.
I'm gonna help you.
Now you gather all your records and receipts and we'll work on it Friday.
The only free day I have is Saturday.
Done! Daddy, I don't want you to cancel your golf game to do my tax returns.
It's no big deal! Come on! It's just a dopey little game anyway.
My girls come first! Thank you, daddy.
I'll meet you in the car, daddy.
All right.
Harry Weston's on the eighteenth hole.
He leaves his putt.
He lines it up.
Ready to go.
All right, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming! That's four dozen boxes of sterile gauze, a gross of tongue depressors, and a box of disposable syringes, number 4 needles.
Bye-bye, my beauty! Ah, fresh coffee! Good, I could use a shot.
Usual messages Hysterical mother, hysterical mother, hysterical mother, hysterical father It's the '90s and a Mike bradovich called.
Mike bradovich called? Yeah, he's in Miami for the day.
He'll be at your house for supper tonight.
I don't believe it! Mike's coming! That sounds downright rude to me.
Back in hickory, folks duly give at least one day's notice before showin' up to dinner.
It takes time to set out the place cards, dust off the fine crystal and slaughter the main course.
Laverne, Mike is not rude, he's just Spontaneous.
He shows up out of the blue.
That's part of his charm! Wait a second, is this that doctor friend of yourn the one that what keeps sending you postcards from around the world? That's him! Mike bradovich.
Retired from pediatrics at 45, now he just travels the globe.
One day One day he's on a black sand beach in Tahiti, next he's discussing philosophy with some mystic in Nepal.
I hope he gives that mystic at least one day's notice.
Laverne, if the guy's really a mystic, he probably knows he's coming anyway.
It's hard to believe you two are friends.
Him being such a free spirit and all and you being, well You.
I am not me! I mean I do stuff.
Oh, yeah! About the most exciting thing you got goin' is that golf game you're finally gettin' to this Saturday.
Yeah, well I have a very exciting life, and I don't need you needling me.
And the piranha were getting closer! We didn't know if we'd get out there alive! I just knew we had to get to that sea plane, before they got to us.
- Wow! - Yeah, well, we made it out.
But not before one of those little devils took a piece of me home with them as a souvenir.
Oh, daddy, show him the scar you got when the horowitz boy bit you.
Yeah, that's okay.
You know, Mike, you're not the only adventurer around here.
Is he, daddy? Oh, tell him about the trip you take us on every summer to lake pleasant! Lake pleasant? It wasn't called that until after I tamed it.
- We have this ritual every year: We check in, and then go right to the lake and get canoes, and as soon as we get in the canoe, daddy says the same thing every year.
Tell him, daddy! I canoe.
Can-oe? Oh, I love that! Hi, everybody! This is Gina, our letter carrier.
Gina, these are the westons.
Hi.
You guys have a real cool mailbox flag! Uh, excuse me, this is our neighbor Charley dietz, this is my old pal, Mike bradovich, Charley! Oh yeah, right! The world traveler! I'm a bit of an adventurer myself.
I don't know if you've ever been to siam? Well, I can save you some trouble You know those twins they're always talking about? Well, I looked high and low, but Uh, Charley, uh Get back in the la-z-boy, Harry, the men here are swapping war stories.
We'll talk later, Mike.
Anyway, I just stopped by to show off Gina.
She has a Well, rather special talent.
I'm sure she does.
Give her a city, she'll give you the zip code.
Charley, we have company.
That's okay.
Gina's incredible! Go ahead, any city at all.
Syracuse, New York.
Boulder, Colorado! Is she something or what? She's like Einstein in a tube top! Austin, Texas! Allentown, Pennsylvania.
- 18106.
- Muncie, Indiana.
Barbara, that's enough! Well, we gotta go.
Hey, I gotta be going, too.
Wait, Mike, Mike, wait! We made a special dinner just for you! Gee, Harry, I'm sorry, I got so wrapped up in our talk, I forgot to tell you, I can't stay.
At the last minute I was able to book a seat on the Concord.
Tomorrow I'll be in Paris.
I'll grab something there.
That is so romantic! It's so great to see you guys.
I'm sorry again about dinner.
But listen, next time I'm in town, I'll give you a call.
Just hang in there, buddy! What an exciting man! What a rude man! You make dinner for him and he goes off to Paris? Daddy, that's what's so great about Mike! He's spontaneous! He's not tied down.
He just picks up and leaves on a whim! Oh, you like that, do you? Fine.
Okay, watch this.
Daddy, what are you doing? You like spontaneous, I'm giving you spontaneous.
Russ Harry.
Count me in for the golf game Saturday, I will be there! Bye.
- Well, what about my car? - And my taxes? I'm taking a day for myself.
Daddy's having a whim! Glad you could finally make it, stranger.
Oh, I'm so glad to be here! So where you been hiding, Harry? Oh, guys, it's been hectic.
I mean, busy with the family, swamped at the office.
I really could use a day like this.
Hey, tell me about it.
You don't know what pressure is till you've been in retail carpeting.
Well yeah, I mean, of course.
- So, who's up? - I'll go.
Oh, god, Harry! Lou, Lou, what's the matter? It's my wife.
I think my wife is leaving me! Oh, geez, Lou I don't know what to tell you.
A three wood.
She's been coming home all hours, Harry.
I'm sure she's messing around.
Lou, I'm a pediatrician.
I could help if she had colic.
Well, I had to talk to somebody! Well, Russell Russell there, he's a therapist.
Why don't you talk to him.
You're better at comforting people than he is! You're more sensitive and understanding.
I take offense at that, Lou.
Oh look, there's some gunk on my club.
I'm gonna kill those kids! It's that Italian air conditioning guy with the cut-offs.
I'm sure it's him! Lou! This is a golf course.
You're right.
M-maybe we can Have dinner some time to talk about it.
Well, sure.
- How's tomorrow? - Uh, tomorrow, uh I have Barbara's taxes and Carol's car.
Well, you won't still be doing that at night, will you? Oh, no, no That's fine.
Tomorrow night's good.
Maybe somebody else should tee off.
I'll go.
- Ow! Ow! Ow! - Russ! Russ! What's the matter? Oh geez, I'm not sure.
I think I pulled something.
Harry, will you take a look at this? Lou's an orthopedist! I don't think he's in any shape.
All right.
Look, you probably just strained a muscle.
Let's go back to the clubhouse.
Ice it down.
Come on.
All right.
Can I come, too? Yeah, why not? Come on.
Mornin' doctor.
How'd your golf game go? Well, I never got to tee off.
Well, that sounds par for the course.
Hey! I made a golf joke.
A good one, too.
Only you ain't laughin'.
You must really be teed off.
Gee, I did it again! I'm a regular Joan rivers.
Any messages, please? Tough crowd, okay.
Okay, Barbara and Carol called.
Barbara got her taxes mailed in, only now she's not sure if she signed them.
Carol's car is runnin' fine, but now she's convinced her forehead is expanding.
Fine.
Anything else? Well, you got this postcard from your friend Dr.
bradovich.
He's just arrived in I don't wanna know where he is.
Spain! He flew there, and boy are his arms tired! Whoo! I'm on a roll! Give me a sparkly gown just point me towards the main room at Caesar's.
- Hi, Stevie.
- Hi, Dr.
Weston.
All right, let's take a look at that sore throat, see how you're doin'.
Let's see Ready? Come on.
- Aah! - Aah.
- Aah! - Aah! Aah! Aah! Well, that's not inflamed.
And that's good.
Okay, let's see.
How old are you now? Nine? Nuh-uh! Nine and three quarters.
I'll be ten real soon.
I wouldn't be in such a rush to grow up, Stevie.
Oh, but I can't wait till I'm all grown up.
'Cause then you can do whatever you want.
Whatever you want, huh? I'm gonna be an astronaut.
Yeah, sure.
Listen, I had dreams like that too when I was your age, but you know what happens to those dreams? You gotta put 'em on hold.
Like with me.
First I had to be a good student, then a good husband, then a good father, then the good doctor.
By the time you finally get back to those dreams, they're nothing but dust.
Dust! Crushed under the weight of responsibility.
Astronaut? Yeah, ha, astronaut! - Mommy! - No! Stevie! Wait a minute! Stevie! Uh, Mrs.
Blake Mommy, make the depressing man go away.
Well, how about I cheer him up with a joke? Stevie, wait! Are you from outta town? Daddy, this is crazy! Why Spain? I'm meeting Mike bradovich in a town called Pamplona.
What's in Pamplona? There's an event there every year.
It's called The running of the bulls.
Oh, my god! Yeah, it's kind of a Hemingway thing, you know? They let the bull stampede through the streets, then people try to run away from them.
Some make it, some don't.
I'm gonna be there.
Daddy Are you having a midlife crisis? Oh, does this mean you're gonna get a motorcycle? Because if you do, you should really get a Harley.
Barbara! You're not helping! This isn't a midlife crisis, Carol! You were going through your divorce when I was going through my midlife crisis.
I didn't have time to fall apart.
It was like everything else in my life! Neat, orderly, well-behaved midlife crisis.
I didn't go crazy, I didn't cheat Three days in a row I wore bell-bottoms into the office.
That was it.
If Norman Rockwell were painting a midlife crisis for the Saturday evening post he'd do mine.
Daddy, don't you think we should talk this through? I already did.
Unfortunately, it was with a nine-year-old boy.
Look, look, I've played by the rules of responsibility all my life! I just don't wanna do that anymore! It's my turn! Daddy, I understand that you're going through something right now.
But I don't think that going to a foreign land, and running from cattle is the answer.
Girls, my mind is made up.
I'm going to Pamplona.
I'm running with the bulls.
You're not taking the red sweater! The red sweater stays! Well, when are you coming back, daddy? ¿Quien sabe? That's it, girls! Good-bye, Carol.
Good-bye, Barbara.
I'm off to Spain.
And I'm going Without my sunscreen.
- Another Tequila, Harry? - No, Mike, I'm fine! I'm gonna have another one.
Señor, una mas Tequila, por favor.
Well, I must say you got the language down a little bit better than I do.
What is What is a biblioteca? It's a library.
Ah! That explains why they did such a poor job on my shirts! Boy, it's gonna be a real scorcher today.
What's that? Sunscreen.
You never wanna go any place without that.
It's the first rule of travel.
Really? Harry, it is so good to see you here.
I gotta tell you, you're the last guy I expected to show up in Pamplona.
Oh, I needed a change! I mean, this trip is the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time.
- Really? - Oh, yes! Mike, I gotta level with you.
I resented you the other night at my house.
Now, wait, no I-i envied you.
I envied you your life of irresponsibility, if you don't mind my saying that.
Hell, in many ways I am irresponsible.
Yeah, well I'm ready for a little irresponsibility here.
I want some adventure.
I mean, I'm dying to try something new! Great! You want the worm? Oh, wait a minute, no! Well, I was kinda hoping you'd try it, Harry.
I've always wanted to see somebody eat one of these things.
Anyway, I am so glad I came! It's the only way to go, Harry.
Free and easy, no strings.
And you never have to answer to anybody but yourself.
Magic words, Michael.
I know your life all too well.
You don't have to tell me, Harry.
It used to be mine.
Those long hours at the office, beeper going off at 3:00 in the morning.
Hospital politics.
The worst! Hey, what about the malpractice insurance? And the pestering mothers? And the whiney kids with the runny noses? I don't mind the runny noses.
But I'm with you on the malpractice insurance.
At the end of a really miserable day, you'd come rushing home to the family pressures.
Family pressures! Tell me about it.
That's part of the reason I'm here.
I needed a little break from Carol and Barbara.
Same thing with my kids.
Well, how are they? Well Okay, I guess, I I got a postcard from Jay a few months ago.
He's in law school.
Actually, he may have finished by now.
And the last time I heard, Jill was living with a guy up in Vermont.
Or New Hampshire.
Mike, come on, you gotta know where your kids are, what they're doing.
Harry, you can't climb a mountain while you're trying to remember whose birthday it is.
I-I can't imagine losing touch with my family like that.
I mean, I always wanna know where my daughters are.
Hopefully one day it won't be at my house, but I still wanna know where they are.
If you want no strings, Harry, you gotta cut 'em.
Don't you miss your family? Your practice? Harry, you can't have it both ways! You have to make choices! Ha, ha, ha.
What? What it is? It just occurred to me That I traveled three thousand miles to find out that everything I ever wanted in my life I already have.
I mean, I felt all those responsibilities had been thrust on me.
It's not true.
I wanted them.
I mean, I like my life, I like who I am, and I'm very grateful to you.
For what? No, you're right! We have to make choices, and You helped me realize that I made all the right ones.
This is great.
I don't need to be here! Thank you.
I'd hold off on the thanks.
- Why? - The bulls are coming! - What? - Pamplona! The bulls! They're running! I don't need them anymore.
Tell them to stop.
It doesn't work that way.
Now, if you get cornered, try to fall sideways.
What? And I'd lose that red sweater if I were you.
Run, Harry! Run! Run! Wait! Wait! Wait a minute! Oh Oh, my god!