George Lopez (2002) s03e02 Episode Script

This sucks.
If you hadn't disobeyed your father and heckled the president, you wouldn't be getting punished.
Yeah.
But making me fold Dad's underwear is cruel and unusual.
This is cruel.
And this is unusual.
Hello.
- Angie.
- Hey, honey.
Listen, don't freak out and don't tell the kids.
- But I'm in jail.
- You're in jail? - Dad's in jail? - Wow.
He finally killed Grandma.
You're next.
Oh, my God, what happened? What should I do? Who should I call? I only get one phone call, right? Baby, relax.
That's me.
I'm coming down there now to bail you out.
Look, it's not that simple.
They wanna extradite me to Arizona.
Manny pressed charges against me for punching him.
Your own father did this to you? Punching was too good for him.
Next time, split his skull with a pick ax and we'll bury him in the desert.
- You know, they listen in on these phone calls.
- Oh.
Look, I don't have a lot of time.
You gotta get me a lawyer right away.
And a good one.
Not one from the Spanish TV.
- I gotta go, Angie.
- George, wait.
I love you.
Girl, you better bring me that money! I love you too.
Ahem.
What's up, homes? Man, I got baby mama drama.
You got a visitor.
What are you doing here, Manny? I came to talk to you.
I'm sorry I had to do it this way.
Hey, don't apologize.
Three square meals and a roof over my head.
Hey, you're finally being a dad.
Look, some skinheads came to my sleepover.
I tried to talk to you in Phoenix.
But I lost my train of thought when you punched me in the face.
Look, save it.
I heard it already.
You didn't leave me.
You left my mom.
Look, I left so I could start over.
I told myself you were better off without me.
But the truth is, I thought I was better off without you.
That's an aawul thing to think about your son.
But it's easier not to feel guilty when you don't have to look at the person you hurt.
I'm sorry you never had a father, George.
Please forgive me for not being there.
Look, I'd like to be part of your life.
I'll be in L.
A.
Until tomorrow.
I'm gonna drop the charges now.
But you won't be released until I'm safely in the car.
Okay, Lopez.
Free to go.
- That was fast.
- Not you.
Mrs.
Lopez.
It's about time.
I'd call him.
You don't want unresolved issues in your life.
Trust me, honey.
Angie.
Oh.
I'm so glad you're home.
Daddy, I was so worried about you.
Thank God you're free.
Carmen, I was so worried about you.
Thank God you're still grounded.
What was it like in there? Nobody talked to me.
The food sucked.
I was afraid to go to sleep.
So it was a little better than my childhood.
Why did you punch your dad? Well, Max, uh, he was bad to me so I spanked his face.
I don't understand.
Why would he have you arrested and then drop the charges? He wanted to talk to me.
He said that he was sorry and that he wants to be part of my life.
- Are you going to forgive him? - No.
No, you know what, screw him.
He wrecked you emotionally, and I know that's got something to do with how you treat me.
It has to.
It just has to.
Max, give me a minute with your father, huh? What are you thinking? Part of me feels like it's way too late to forgive him after what he's put me through.
But I just don't wanna be angry for the rest of my life like my mom.
Well, you tracked him down for a reason, honey.
What did you want from him? My whole life, I just wanted to know him.
That's all I ever wanted.
Well, this is your chance.
It's never good to have unresolved issues, honey.
That's what the other Mrs.
Lopez said.
All right.
You're probably wondering what happened yesterday.
- So let me try to explain.
- Hey.
Everyone's scared of you since they heard you beat up your dad.
They're working real hard.
My old man's low productivity disappointed me.
And I don't like being disappointed.
Now, get back to work! - Hey, Jack, let me explain.
- You don't have to explain to me, George.
We've all taken a good swing at our fathers.
I took a shot at mine once during a hunting trip.
Just grazed him.
But he knew.
What did your dad finally die of? Fishing accident.
Anyway, George, I want you to tell me the truth.
Sure, Jack.
Is this some kind of midlife crisis you're going through here, bud? This long hair.
This rebelling against authority.
Stealing the president's speech.
Look, I didn't take it.
That's just something I yell when I see the cops.
"I stole the president's speech.
It's taped behind my toilet.
" Come on, Jack, that could be anything.
We started putting tapes in the security cameras last month, George.
I saw you take it.
I saw you steal the speech and off the record I saw Randy making out with some little guy in a storage closet.
- Does the Secret Service know about that tape? - No.
- Phew.
- No, I got to it before they did but if you don't give that speech back, and cut your hair I'm gonna give it to them.
Jack, you hate my hair so much that you'd turn me in to the government? Yeah.
And not just the hair, George.
Lose the chin badger.
Hey, Mom.
Thanks for visiting me in jail.
Listen, I could not go down there.
Uh-uh.
I didn't wanna be framed for some 30-year-old crime in El Paso that might have been committed with my fingerprints.
We were on the run that summer? There's no game called Gas Station Peel Out.
George, I hear Manny's still trying to be Daddy.
If you let that dirtbag back in your life, it'll kill me.
That's good to know.
Now I can stop looking for that silver bullet.
- What's that card for? - This? It's nothing.
It's just the number of a retirement home for some old bat.
You don't know her.
- Oh, okay.
Then here.
- What's that? Punk.
Manny's number? What is this for? Mom, I'm just gonna call him to say goodbye.
That's all.
Don't worry about it.
That's good.
Because if I ever see that man again I'm gonna reach down his throat.
I'm gonna pull out his stomach.
I'm gonna stretch it over his head like a hat and then I am gonna sock him in his stomach-face.
Careful.
He might kick you in your boob-knees.
- Hello? - Manny, it's George.
George.
How're you doing? I'm fine.
Are you still heading back to Phoenix? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Yeah, listen.
I've been thinking about this.
Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? Hey.
- You tell him about us? - Come on.
The man just got out ofjail.
That's no excuse in my family.
- I'm going in there and I'm telling him.
- No, you're not.
You're not gonna make a scene at work.
Why are you hiding me, Benny? I don't get this.
Somebody hit on me yesterday, and I need to know.
Am I taken or not? Okay, I'll tell you what.
We are gonna go to George's house together tonight and we are gonna tell him everything.
Now, you tell Mama who hit on you.
- Did I hear the door? - Relax, honey.
Manny's not here yet.
- What's that smell? - I'm putting out cheese.
Just because he's rich, I don't want to pretend we're something we're not.
Putting out cheese.
- I don't wanna do this.
- What? I changed my mind.
Don't answer it.
George, we invited him over here.
What are we gonna do? Hide.
Honey.
Honey, it'll be okay.
All right, honey, if you don't wanna do this, we won't.
I will hide behind this couch with you.
I won't breathe, I won't move a muscle, if that's what you want.
I love you.
Am I the only one who answers the door around here? Max.
I'm getting it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Angie.
Welcome to our home.
- Thank you.
Manny, this is my son, Max.
- Oh, hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Is that for me? Oh, sorry.
- Thanks.
- Oh, I get it.
I bet you're gonna find a $20 bill in my ear.
Max! Manners.
Go get your sister.
Manny, have a seat, please.
Oh, Manny, this is my daughter, Carmen.
So this is where Dad's dysfunction comes from.
Yeah, after tonight, you might wanna abandon her too.
It's okay.
I know this is a difficult situation so everyone should just say what they're feeling.
I like bacon and I hate bees.
How do you feel about horses? I have a stable full of them.
Maybe you can come out to my ranch and ride them some time.
- Okay, easy, Seabiscuit.
Let's take this one step at a time.
We'll talk about it over dinner.
Come on.
- I see you've got golf clubs.
Play much? - Yeah, I get out once in a while.
Last weekend, I was having the round of my life and then I put three shots in the water on 18.
You? I've put more balls in the water than the men's Olympic swim team.
George.
Hey, George, some idiot parked right in the middle of your driveway.
Hello, Benita.
How the hell could you let him into your home? Take it easy, Mom.
Relax.
- What are you doing here? - Thought you were waiting in the car.
It didn't seem right.
I should be here when you tell him.
Tell me what? Randall's my lover.
Forty-two.
And hair! What do you mean, "lover"? Well, I don't wanna say anything in front of the kids but what this man does better and longer than that man.
I know you're not happy about this, George, but I take care of your mom.
This is why we hide.
Mom, I told you I didn't want you dating somebody from work.
Yeah, and I told you not to forgive this jackass.
Benita, I'm not here to fight.
I'm just here to make things right with my son.
Heh.
Your son? Where were you when he woke up crying in the middle of the night? Huh? Where were you when he fell off his bike and needed somebody to kiss his boo-boo? Where were you all those times when he needed love and encouragement? Huh? Where were you? - Maybe I should go.
- No.
I should.
- You're staying.
I invited you.
- No, no, no.
Let him go.
I want my grandkids to see him walk out the door the way he walked out on us.
Okay, kids, upstairs.
You, outside.
- Fine.
Come on, Randy.
- No.
Randy stays here.
You told me that you were calling him to say goodbye.
You lied to me.
What else don't I know? - You wanna know? - Yeah.
When you die, you're being cremated at the park.
And I'm gonna do it myself.
There.
You know everything.
George, how can you betray me like this? I hate that man! Look, Mom, so did I.
But I'm sick of it.
Look, I'm gonna give him a chance.
George.
George, he's responsible for all of our problems.
He's the reason that you can't handle me dating Randy.
What are you talking about? You've done this since you were a kid.
You don't wanna share your mommy.
All those men who would call the house and you never gave me the messages.
And you would tell me how mean they were to you when I wasn't looking.
After a while, it got to be such a hassle, I just stopped dating.
Really, Mom? You gave up your love life for me? No, I just stopped dating.
My love life went on behind your back in the garage.
George, don't you see? You didn't want me to date because you were afraid of losing another parent.
Because he left us.
And now you want him back in your life.
How can you do this to me? Huh? Mom, I'm not doing this to you.
I'm doing it for me.
Look, whether you like it or not he's the only dad I got.
Fine.
I can't stop you.
And I can't stop you from seeing Randy.
But if you're gonna do this, I should warn you.
There's a tape of him making out with a little guy in the storage closet.
We can go now.
George? You cool with what we got here? You better not hurt my son again.
It would be a real shame if all of your horses died in a barn fire.
And then you died in a house fire knowing right before you, all of your horses had just died in the barn fire.
You wanna try this another time? No, man.
Let's just finish eating.
What's that smell? I'm putting out cheese.
Putting out cheese? Angie, I told you, just because he's rich let's not pretend we're something we're Am I the only one who gets the door around here? Max.