Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s03e02 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" I think that we have something really exciting here.
You fired Abby? We went in a different direction, yes.
Your idea for the column was inspired, Mitchell.
- You write it.
- I need you to leave, and until you get some sober time under your belt, please don't come back.
I think about you all the time.
Your power, your confidence, and how I can destroy it all.
I thought in addition to some spectacular shagging, we might also speak.
If I wanted to talk I'd go home, I have a daughter for that.
- What is that? - My last alimony payment, ever.
- So you're leaving again? - Because they offered me that job, shoots in Vancouver.
When was the last time you didn't have to work? I don't know.
So let me take over, financially.
You're the greatest Un-husband ever.
So what do you think you're gonna do with yourself? I have no idea.
[Upbeat music.]
Ugh.
Whoa, what's with the mess? I am giving the kitchen a kick in the ass, starting with the spices.
I am restocking, alphabetizing, and jarring.
Here, smell this.
Tell me what you think it is.
Do I have to? I pushed you out of my uterus, smell it.
Ugh, I don't know, stale weed? What? That is not oh, that is stale weed.
How do you know what weed smells like? No wonder your father liked to cook.
Charlie, you got to hustle or we're gonna be late.
- Coming! - I already miss dad.
I know, but he's gonna be back for a visit soon and this kick-ass job that he has is giving me all this extra time for jarring, and full-time momming.
What do you say a mother-daughter weekend in Santa Barbara? Mother-daughter movie night? Uh Maybe, I have a lot going on with school so that's school.
Yeah, no I get it.
You want to think about it, okay, but mandatory family dinner tonight because I am cooking pasta from scratch.
Charlie! Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball! - Wow, somebody's excited.
- This is my first practice.
- Yeah.
- 3:30 start time.
This is a for real team, I can't be late.
I know, the Warriors.
Lilly, did you know that Charlie is on a travel team? So proud of you.
I'm proud of me, too.
Good, okay what do you say that I, um, put a pause on the kitchen feng shui and we caravan it to school? - Don't forget this.
- That is trash.
And we still owe a future chat about how you know what weed smells like.
I'm coming home Okay, but do you really need a tree-trimmer and an arborist? I'm not cutting Jose, I can't.
He's in night school to be a botanist.
And do not cross off the composter.
Glenda is having marital problems and I will not be the one that puts her over the edge.
Okay, so let's talk about your home yoga instructor.
JD, I feel you on this.
I really do.
But we do not need to go full belt-tighten yet.
I have a lot of money saved.
That's gonna go surprisingly fast when you have nothing coming in and so, so, so much going out.
Well, I think there's gonna be more coming in soon, Mr.
hot, new sexy artist.
Do you remember Marianne from Damien Fields Gallery? - I do.
- Okay, I wasn't gonna say anything till I was sure, but one of my art world ravens told me they had a drop out for the group show tomorrow night.
- Yes? - So, I just sent her a text, just a casual check-in and she wrote me back this morning and said that Damien wants to sit down with us in person today.
- Phoebe, that is amazing.
- I know, but it's not a done deal yet so we need to really charm him, yeah? Okay, well try not to sweat too much.
Good.
And hey, Marianne mentioned possibly me consulting for them.
It couldn't hurt to bring that up, right? Oh, no.
They'd be lucky to have you.
See? We don't need Ralph's alimony.
We are rising art world mega stars.
Okay, but just give me one thing here - No.
- Just for peace of mind.
[upbeat music.]
Ahem.
All right, let's get started.
First up, Ronny Klein, Silicone Beach tech billionaire married to that actress on that bullshit legal show that we all pretend to hate but secretly watch.
Soon to be formerly married to her, though.
Now it hasn't gone public yet, but he has hired us to handle his divorce.
Now we need a real killer on this one to knock it out of the park.
Which is why I am handing this case to Vanessa.
[applause.]
Excuse me, Albert, given the high profile nature of this divorce I wonder if it wouldn't be more prudent to assign someone else? An attorney with a little more experience, no offense Vanessa.
- I'm sure you're lovely.
- Who'd you have in mind, Delia? Enough with the games, Albert.
I'm a partner here.
I'm the senior divorce attorney for this firm.
And Vanessa is a top notch lawyer brought in to replace you actually back when we thought you were moving to New York.
She's caught up on firm business.
That's what this is about.
Oh, please, Albert.
I think we know what this is really about.
Want to share more specifically what you mean there, Delia? No.
Good, McNease versus State of California, Larry, take us through it.
- You okay? - Yeah.
What the hell, Frump? - Just a little liquid courage.
- Seriously? We're dropping you off at rehab and you're bringing that - Pendejo cabron, baboso.
- Sorry, man.
I call it the Betty Ford Salute.
Farewell, my dear old friend.
Okay, first this is not Betty Ford, and second you said you were gonna be serious about this.
What are you doing? I am.
Look, I'm here and I am ready to get help.
- For Zooey, remember that.
- I will.
I will see you in 28 days, a new man.
Stop stalling, go.
- Right.
- Thank you.
Scott, just landed, meet me in my place in an hour.
Have fun, Bun-Bun, play well! Hit that ball hard! Mom, don't call me Bun-Bun.
Ugh.
Hi, you must be the coach, I'm Abby McCarthy, I'm I'm Charlie's mom.
Um Oh, seeds yum.
Um, I just wanted to introduce myself and say thank you for including Charlie on the team.
He is very excited.
I am not much of a baseball gal, that's more Jake's thing.
Jake is my ex, but he had to move to Vancouver last week for a job directing, so here I am full-time baseball mom.
I was a writer, uh, books.
But, um, I mean, I still am sort of.
I just wanted to take some time, get some space, assess, explore, you know, the adventure that is life.
Okay, um, well then I will be off then.
Let me know if I need to know anything, or if Charlie needs anything.
- Umm - Better spikes, new bat, new glove.
Sorry, let me just get a pen.
It's all listed in the contract.
- You sign yet? - Contract, I did not know - Download it off from the website, bring it before the next game.
Sign.
And move your car.
Okay, hustle.
Hustle up, let's get this practice going, hustle! Prick.
Love your work, JD, in fact I think I have the perfect spot for it in tomorrow night's show.
- Oh, that's fantastic.
- Wow, thanks for this.
What piece did you have in mind? Oh, whatever best represents who you are.
Oh, we'll discuss.
I mean there's still some exciting pieces left.
Most of JD's collection sold at the Skid Row show that we We? Come on, that was all you.
Phoebe's a real powerhouse.
She's got amazing natural instincts for art.
It's just it's kind of my passion.
Marianne had mentioned something about a consultant position.
I don't know if the gallery is still - Still hiring? - Yeah.
Always, Marianne mentioned to me about your background.
Let's give it a shot, Phoebe.
Impress me.
[taps pen.]
[whispering.]
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Oh my my my what you do to me Like lightning when I'm swimming in the sea [both moaning, grunting.]
From the very first time we loved From the very first time we touched Oh Lord have mercy I'm begging you please [both moaning, grunting.]
I'm feeling drained I need love There's an energy when you hold me When you touch me it's so powerful All right, that was When you hold me in your arms - Pretty flipping amazing.
- Impressive stamina.
- Yeah.
- Your flexibility, it's like having sex with Gumby.
Oh, shh, please no children's toy reference.
Fine, but on a scale of 1 to 10 you're a 9.
5 - and I'm low-balling.
- [chuckles.]
What, did I lose points on the dismount? Fine, you're a ten.
You earned it.
Thank you, I am touched.
Especially because I know I'm being judged against a huge pool of competitors.
- All right, ouch.
Yeah.
- No, seriously.
If I could just count up how many women you've screwed? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven Write out Mmm.
Your breathing's normal, we both know what that means.
- Yeah? Again? - Yeah.
Straight away, right away, now? Right away, old boy, right away.
I've got the "Karma Sutra," and I've got a whole arsenal of moves that you haven't even seen yet.
There's an energy when you hold me When you touch me it's so powerful [grunts.]
All this for a nine-year-old's baseball team? That is whack.
So whack.
Did you see the part where I had to commit all my weekends? Oh, yeah.
If his team wins you are screwed.
I had so many fun things planned for the kids.
I was gonna take them to the family ranch in a few weeks.
I thought you sold that place.
My parents are trying to, we can't find a buyer.
Is this my life now? I finally get a chance to breathe and now I am shackled to the Gestapo run by an asshole who spits sunflower seeds at people.
And I have to buy all this gear.
Well, at least you're not being Hester Prynne'ed by your place of work.
Oh, my God, Delia, I'm so sorry.
I'm whining and you actually have a real situation.
I mean, it's pure misogyny.
I'm the scarlet slut, but Albert has a penis, so I'm tarnished.
- Carry on.
- For real? You missing out on that big client is not okay.
- You're one of the partners.
- Right.
You should've seen how fast Vanessa jumped at that case.
You know, all of this would make a fantastic column.
No, I don't think I'm comfortable with that.
I'm a pro, I won't use names.
How's that going anyway, the column? I got to say, I think I'm kind of killing it.
My first column is about the Goddess Ceremony, and it was crazy hilarious if I say so myself.
Can I read it? Soon, I'm getting it to Mitchell tomorrow.
What? Can I just have a sneak peek? I could give you feedback, I give great notes.
It's an offer, you know, whatever it's fresh eyes.
All right, thanks.
Fresh eyes, I'm sure that thing could use a few tweaks.
Well, I'm a master tweaker.
I mean, seriously I tweaked with the best of them.
Like, I'm a tweaker, okay.
- Oh, hey! - So sorry I am late.
- How'd it go with Frumpkis? - Good, good, he's locked up getting rehabilitated as we speak, which I celebrated by screwing Scott cross-eyed.
- All: Oh! - Hey! - So, Scott? - That's how I roll.
- You two are doing well.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, it's great.
- Chin chin.
- Dating a self-diagnosed sex addict requires some creativity in the sack.
- Yeah.
- So yeah, it's going great.
I'm smelling another badass column.
I promise I won't use any names.
Oh, use my name.
What the hell do I care? Unless it's an assignment for "Classic" - he'll never even see it.
- Can I get a box? Sure thing.
[upbeat music.]
What do you think? How do you like it, the pasta? Mm, how'd you get the dough to look like little bow-ties? There's a story behind that, how I got the dough to look like little - Hey, look at me, I'm fancy.
- Okay, not a toy.
That is food.
Mommy worked hard on that.
I found the most adorable pasta dough stencils online.
It was linked to this cooking blog that I am obsessed with.
It is so informative, so awesome, so many great tips.
Fork please, Charlie.
Come on.
I told you, that's not my name anymore.
We're not gonna call you 2-8, freakazoid.
But that's what coach calls me.
He calls everyone by their numbers.
Right, okay but we're at the family dinner table and we use our real human names here, so, eat your bow-ties.
- Where are you going? - I have to practice my swing.
No, Charlie, please sit down.
This is family dinnertime.
I worked hard on this meal all day and I would like you to eat it.
Coach said we had to practice our swing.
Mommies trump coaches.
That is the hierarchy.
He said we had to.
In front of a mirror so we could see our form.
Charlie! 2-8! And I have to be in bed and asleep by 8:30, coach's rule.
So I guess this is our life now? Family dinner every night and then baseball? No, I'm gonna go back to work.
I'm just waiting to see what's next.
- I thought you loved writing.
- I do love writing, but I burned a few bridges and maybe it's time to find something new.
You know Charlie, this is a phase.
He goes through phases.
He'll be fine.
You want some more pasta? [glass shattering.]
Oh, God.
Charlie? - The bat slipped.
- [exhales deeply.]
- [moaning.]
- [grunting.]
[both panting.]
Uh JD, he has this group show thingy tonight, some hipster gallery near Culver City, kind of a big deal, you know? - Uh-huh.
- If you're interested, FYI.
- FYI? - Mm-hmm.
Really? Is that how one asks their significant other out on a date? Dude, it's Culver City, it's not Bel Air.
- Mm.
- [chuckles.]
- Fine.
Ahem.
Dear Scott - Mmhmm? Of England, would you like to partake in a cultural festivity in the Culver City district of Los Angeles with me, Josephine of the Bronx, your fairest, fairest maiden? - I would be delighted.
- So pick me up here, and we can squeeze in a little pre-game slap and tickle.
- Or we could go for a drink.
- You mean, like, at a bar? Yeah, it's a thing that couples do.
Wow, excuse me for wanting to take you out and show off my woman.
Well, why show me off when you can have me any way you want? Yeah, because as much as I love this, I also enjoy just being with you.
How about it, hmm? Bit of romance, glass of chardonnay? - Watch the sunset? - Mmm.
Hey, babe, I need your wisdom.
Oh, my God, that's gorgeous.
Oh, it's nothing.
I'm just messing around.
- What's up? - Okay Wisdom? I found some artists that I love, love, love, and I want to show Damien one in particular today that will blow his mind.
- New artists already? - Mm.
- You just got hired yesterday.
- I know, well I've been exploring my spots the last few weeks and keeping an eye open.
You never know when someone exciting will just pop up at you, like that one.
Gracin, he just He makes landscapes so There's just But there's so much movement - Yes.
- I don't even - You're moving anti - Yeah, go with Gracin.
Okay, you barely looked at it.
I love Gracin, he rocks.
I'm sorry.
I just I think that it's a little bit unrealistic to think that you can make your next big discovery in less than 24 hours.
I know, but I wasn't hired to be realistic.
I was hired to follow my gut.
Which Damien believes in, but obviously you don't.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're right, I'm sorry.
I just when you talk about other artists it just makes me a little bit jealous.
You have an amazing gut.
I love your gut.
Go with Gracin.
Okay, thank you.
We might want to go with something more press friendly, but we'll discuss.
Now let's run through your assets Sorry, so sorry I'm late.
Delia, hi, didn't realize you'd be joining us.
Of course, Vanessa, wouldn't miss it.
Hi, Delia Banai, one of the partners here to show a united front.
Wow, two beautiful women.
Albert helping me with the end of my marriage, or making me fall in love all over again.
Oh, you're a bad one, aren't you? Sorry to interrupt, go ahead.
Anyway, your assets, we need to prioritize.
A divorce this high profile will turn into a knife fight, and I want to make sure we get what's most important to you.
Everything.
Everything is a priority, we don't give her lawyer an inch.
Yes, of course.
Ideally we will come out way ahead, but it is a negotiation.
Sure, but you don't go into battle with your hands up, am I right? What's your media strategy? Start with a national interview.
Maybe "Today," Savannah Guthrie.
Why don't we take the focus off you entirely, hmm? Shine those bright lights on her? Drag your wife through the mud.
Undercut her credibility? That sounds like a game plan.
I've got plenty of dirt on her.
Also, you're planning on going public with your latest app - next month, right? - Yeah, that's right.
- How did you know that? - Oh, it's my job.
And I would hold off on that if I were you.
You don't want to give your wife and her lawyers more red meat to bite into, hmm? Yeah, jeez.
And she is a biter.
We can use that.
[upbeat music.]
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- I am so glad you liked it.
- I loved it.
It's so well written, it's so smart.
It was such a pleasure to read.
I have some thoughts.
- Well, hit me with them.
- Okay.
I'm sure it needs some adjustments.
I'm the queen of typos.
No, it's not adjustments really, it's more global kind of thoughts.
- Global? - You know, big picture stuff.
I mean, it's great but it's not from your perspective.
Well, it is in that I wrote it.
Yeah, yeah, um, it's just that I kind of lose you in there you know, where are you? Well, I'm there at the Goddess Ceremony, which is what the column's about.
Yes, I just I want to know how you feel about things.
What is your POV, what is your personal experience, you know what I'm saying? - Yes.
- Great.
You think I should rewrite it.
No, not at all.
No, just, like, - take another pass at the - [phone ringing.]
Sorry, I just have to take this.
Hold one second.
Jake, hi, how's Vancouver? Hey, good.
It's good.
Why are you spending all of our money at Tech Sporting Goods? - Excuse me? - Yeah, no I got a really scary email from our joint credit card.
It's like you cleaned out their inventory.
Wow, exaggeration, and I had no choice.
That new coach is a control freak Abby, Abby You have been chomping at the bit haven't you? You have just been waiting to scold me about money.
Oh yeah, right, 'cause you didn't give me a hard time when I wasn't working, right? And spending all the money you gave So now you're getting back at me? And I am not out of work, by the way.
As I recall we made a deliberate decision for me to take this time to explore.
- Abby, Abby, Abby - I'm exploring! Return some of the stuff, tell Charlie to have a good game okay, I got to go.
I'm here.
Ugh.
Jake is so irritating sometimes.
I heard, as did everybody else.
I have been out of work for no, nay, I have been consciously uncoupled from my career for, like, a week.
This is the first time.
Yesterday was the first time I used the joint credit card.
What's happening here? Where are you going? Well, you seem to have a lot going on, and I need to get this column into Mitchell, so.
Yes, but I still have more thoughts that I wanted to Oh, I got it.
You hate it.
And that's your opinion, you're entitled to it.
I do not hate it.
Don't make this This is how I write, okay? I'm sorry it doesn't meet your high standards.
Barbara? I'm feeling good I'm feeling fine I can show you too I'm feeling good Thomas [speaking French.]
- Hello, hello.
- Oh, look at you, my Bond girl.
Thank you.
It all looks so genius.
Oh, well, it's getting there.
What can I do for you, Phoebe? I know you're focused on tonight but I found an artist that you have to keep an eye on, Gracin.
He works out of this super cool communal space in Glendale with a bunch of up and comers, who knew? Phoebe, I think that you have misunderstood.
Plucking some new artist from a Glendale loft not why I asked you to come on.
Oh, then why did you? You were married to a rock star, right? And then a hotel magnate.
Ah, so you hired me for my connections? And your charm.
No, you know how to talk to people with money, and that is a skill.
So, uh, tap that Rolodex, get me some buyers.
Clear.
I feel stronger every day Where is the fun, the energy? You've got a whole section in here on the duality of the inner goddess.
I thought it was interesting context.
SheShe doesn't do context.
This read like a college thesis paper.
Okay, I'll take another pass.
But just to be clear, you wanted my distinct voice.
This is my voice.
Yeah, your voice is kind of a drag.
Mm.
Look, why don't we focus on pumping up the lady power wish fulfillment? Ooh, for example, what are people wearing at a Goddess Ceremony? [upbeat music.]
Two outs, play back.
Keep it off the backstop, 2-8.
1-4, even with the bag! He is speaking so fast, and in code.
'Cause that's how it is.
The kids have to keep up.
Charlie just started, he cannot remember all that stuff.
He went to school the other day with one shoe.
- Strike! - Oh, yeah! Great catch, Charlie! That is what a catcher does! A catcher catches! Hustle up, hustle up, let's go Warriors! Sorry, I got so excited.
He caught the ball in his ball glove in his mitt.
In his glove.
Oh, my God, okay what just happened? What is the score now? - Still nothing, nothing.
- No, but the kid from the other team just ran past his just ran past Charlie.
Let's go, let's go, we want to be first on the board.
Right, but that was the third out so no run and now it's a new inning, so our guys are back on the bat.
Right, wow.
Things move so fast, there are so many rules.
Okay, what was the thing you were explaining to me? The drop and roll, or block and drop or ? Yeah, maybe, uh, ease up there, Disco Queen.
Oh, I have a thing later.
Uh-huh, yeah, so maybe just watch, let Coach Brady do his magic, cheer for your kid, and move your car.
Move your car? Is that, like, a baseball lingo thing? Because the coach said that to me too.
- You talked to the coach? - Yeah, yesterday, and he was he was wildly inappropriate and rude.
You never talk to the coach.
All right, let's keep this momentum going.
Let's get base runs.
He is taking on a mentoring role with our kids.
We should be able to talk to him, right? Wrong.
Oh, look, hey, your kid's up at bat.
We need base runners, 2-8.
It's time to be a hitter.
Move your car! Move your car! - Let's go.
- Move your car! Move your car! Whoo! Yeah! Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! Look at that.
All right, 2-8, don't be the first out here.
Make it behind or through the ground.
Freeze on the liner.
Do what you do, 1-9.
Pick up this base runner, come on.
- Oh! - Hold up.
Hold up, 2-8.
- Out! - 2-8, what are you doing? What just happened? What just happened? Is he out? You never make the first out at third, especially in a scoreless game.
Hey, 1-5, get your gear on.
You're catcher next inning.
2-8 here needs a time out to think about what just happened out there.
But he got a hit.
He got a double hit.
Why is he being punished for one mistake? There is no crying in baseball.
Welcome to the team.
[soft guitar music.]
- I don't know.
- See, isn't this civilized? Out in public with civilized clothes-wearing people? Well, this is Venice.
I mean, we could pass some tattooed hipster wearing a diaper any second.
- It's true.
- Oh, hey, sorry.
No, it's my fault.
I wasn't looking.
- Oh, no.
- Such a disaster.
Completely our fault, there you are.
Oh, great, thank you.
Hi, I'm Kendra.
Kendra, hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Have a wonderful evening.
Well, did she manage to pass you her phone number - during that handshake? - What? No.
How could she? I mean we literally just - She was very pretty.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I am not going there.
- Not going where, Monsieur? - If I say yes, I'm a cad, if I say no, I'm a liar.
- Ah.
- No winning that one.
Well, I didn't know we had a competition.
You are incorrigible.
You know, the world is full of women, all types.
But there is only one infuriatingly sexy, magnificent Josephine.
- So true, so true.
- Come on.
Come here, you horny bastard.
Yay.
Big win for the Warriors.
Yeah, but I messed up.
I almost cost us the whole game.
That is not true, Charlie, 28, two-eight? You you were amazing, absolutely amazing.
Why don't you go to the car, wait for me for a second, okay? - Coach Brady? - 2-8's mom.
It's a great game.
A win for the Warriors.
Excuse me, I am talking to you.
That was a great win that my son cannot enjoy because you made him feel so terrible about that one mistake.
- Pretty big mistake.
- Well, you won anyway.
- And? - And he is a nine-year-old boy who just wants to impress you, and play well, and play hard, and you humiliated him.
He'll be fine.
He's tough.
No, actually he is very sensitive and that is not even the point.
The point is that he gets no validation for the good things he does and only shame for the mistakes.
Where is the lesson there? That is not the way I raise my kid.
Well, on this field he's not your kid.
He's my player.
- Well, I am not okay with that.
- That's your choice.
You can explain to him why he's no longer on this team, my team.
- Got it? - Got it.
Good luck with the season.
[rock music.]
You okay? Got everything you need? All right, sweetheart, I will see you in a little bit.
Hello, hi.
See you in a bit.
Wow, look at that piece.
Who's that artist? Maria Sergei, recently immigrated from Russia.
Feels like someone who is finally able to express herself.
Yes, I totally relate to that.
I am finally free of that awful baseball world.
Did you just compare living in Putin's Russia - to a kid's baseball team? - [laughing.]
There are parallels.
Okay, that coach was really mean.
Anyway, Charlie and I can finally return to our real life, my people, to great art.
And Phoebe, this new swanky gig of yours, - wow, the gallery is just, like - This space.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for coming, it means so much to me.
It makes me look good in front of my boss.
Speaking of, I should go schmooze the buyers, turn on that charm.
You were in the wrong place Problems - What's that look for? - Mm.
I was just checking the queue length at the bar.
No you weren't.
You were trying to look at that icy blonde's nipples through that dress.
- Abby! - Hi, Barbara.
So, I might owe you an apology.
I have been an editor for my entire adult life and I should've had a thicker skin.
Mm, shoe on the other foot, huh? Yeah, how'd, uh, Mitchell react? Oh, in his typical Mitchell fashion, but whatever.
The magic's in the rewrite.
At least that's what I tell my writers when I crush their dreams.
How are you? That call with Jake still got you worked up? Um, yeah, talk about shoe on the other foot, right? It sucks to have someone overseeing you.
Big brother, I do not like it.
- You're not built for it.
- No, but I am trying to explore new things.
I'm just so not in my element.
But maybe that's what makes it right.
Maybe, but you're a good-ass writer, and writers write.
That's what keeps the crazy at bay.
I don't know why you have to stop exploring that.
- If you think I'm crazy - Hey.
- Hi.
- [phone chiming.]
Is this that Silicon Valley douchebag? No, he's not a douchebag actually.
He is very high maintenance, but very charming.
- He's your client now? - Yeah.
- Delia stole him.
- No, I wouldn't say stole.
I just simply presented subtly what I have to offer, did my dance.
That sounds very, very defensive.
I am the injured party here.
I am the victim of workplace sexism.
Oh, thank you.
Her work is one of my favorites.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- How are you doing? - Oh, I'm fine.
Charming the high rollers for my talent.
Oh, stop.
Come on.
Once Damien gets to know you, he'll see what you can do.
Maybe, how's the response been to your piece? Actually, I haven't seen it yet.
Neither have I.
Come on, come with me.
[upbeat music.]
Seriously? What kind of art school reject, cutesy, conceptual bullshit is this? Hey, Jo, he's just talking to someone.
- Mm-hmm.
- You need to relax.
He is crazy about you, Jo, he declared himself in a big way.
Doesn't matter.
It won't be enough.
I know him.
The man, he can have anyone he flipping wants.
He's gonna get bored.
Watch, it's just a matter of time.
[scoffs.]
- Does it change to you? - I hate it.
Hold this.
Thanks.
- Stop her.
- Seriously? - Stop her.
- She's got to live it out.
Got you, you lying little slut-bastard! I am so sorry, sir.
What the bloody hell, Joe, what are you? I am so sorry.
I'm I'm I'm sorry.
That that blonde walked off and you followed her.
What was I supposed to think? Well, not that I'm screwing her in the men's restroom.
Is that really what you think of me? It's not what I think, it's what I know.
And I watched you in action before, remember? Oh, will you please stop with this paranoia? I love you.
I want you.
But if if you don't want this, - if you can't handle it, then - I can't.
- I can't handle it.
- What? We need to kill it.
Us.
I can't stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
No, no, no, look, Jo, you don't mean that.
I'm not sleeping, I worry you're not satisfied.
I keep dreaming up ways to keep you going.
And ever since I Googled "Kama Sutra," these links keep popping up on my Facebook page.
It is so humiliating.
Now stop, this isn't fair.
I haven't done anything yet.
Oh, yet, but you want to, you will.
- Jo, I am trying here.
- Trying? Oh, my God, like it's work.
Jesus, you take everything I say and you twist it.
I mean, how am I supposed to convince you that I want you, and I'm here for you and only you.
I'm sorry 'cause all this stuff with Frump, the second marriage, the lies, the drinking.
I know, I know, I understand, believe me I really do, but at some point you're gonna have to let that go.
Trust again.
Trust is not in my wheelhouse right now.
Fine.
This could have been amazing.
[soft music.]
Ahem.
Damien, hi, so sorry.
Can I just steal you for one minute, please? Benny, Gloria, will you excuse me for one second? Sorry, thank you.
That was Gloria and Ben Nickdevole.
They're on the board at the Getty.
Why is JD's piece hanging in your office, hidden away? Yes, like a mistress that you're ashamed of.
Phoebe, where do you think I negotiate my sales? - I have no idea.
- In my office.
Top buyers hungry for product will see JD's painting on the wall, they'll ask why it isn't out with the rest, and what do you think I'll tell them? Because it's my personal favorite.
And what does that accomplish? It makes them want it more.
This is what I do.
I build up new artists, I create demand.
And you, Phoebe, I'm sorry to say you live in a fantasy world where you think you can step into my gallery and everyone will just fall at your feet.
Well, this is real life.
A business.
You want your husband's career to take off, let me do my job.
And you want to have success here? Shut up.
Learn.
And bring me some buyers, yeah? Understand? Okay, you look great.
All right.
Where you going, kiddo? It's late.
I've got to practice my swing.
- Wait.
- Outside this time, I promise.
Hold, stop.
I don't think it's gonna work out with the new team.
What? What do you mean? I did not like the way the coach talked to you today - at the game.
- Why? Because he was not nice.
That's just the way he talks.
Well, that doesn't make it okay.
Punishing you like that, making you sit on the bench and not letting you play because you made a mistake? But I can't leave the team.
Coach told me I'm a real baseball player.
A real baseball player never quits, and learns from his mistakes.
Okay, I'm gonna go practice now.
[soft music.]
[folksy music.]
- You got everything you need? - I feel inspired already.
Okay, just to let you know, you got to buy something for every hour you're working here.
I'm kidding, those are the rules for everyone else.
For good friends, free pastries on the way, you need your brain food.
- You're the best, thank you.
- Yeah.
Hey, is it awkward back there with Scott? Oh, the coward didn't show up so - Oh.
- Not awkward at all.
Well, I mean, you can't really blame him.
You kind of "Minority Reported" that fool, right? - Is that a race thing or ? - No, it's a Tom Cruise movie.
Dystopian future world where you get put in jail before you commit the crime? No, never seen it.
But Scott's ball sack is a dystopian future world.
I don't know if you knew that.
Is it? But the crime would've been committed eventually.
Yeah, well, the man is fine.
As are you.
And I feel like, you know, you guys, you fit.
You match up.
I don't know if he was an addict so much as he was just screwing around until he found his person.
I'm guessing we'll never know now.
- Morning.
What are you doing? - Morning.
Getting my Hillary Clinton on, making some hard choices.
- Wow, good-bye arborist.
- I know, I just called him.
It was actually super heartbreaking.
I'm sure.
This isn't about what Damien said last night, right? He's a dick hole.
He wasn't wrong.
I have been kind of head in the clouds lately about everything.
You know, I need to prove myself, work my way up.
In the meantime - The vegan chef, you sure? - Yeah.
We can take cooking lessons, UCLA extension, super affordable, I promise.
Who's next? Duct cleaner? - I'll get back to you on that.
- [phone chiming.]
Appreciate it.
Hey, Vanessa, hey do you have a sec? - Uh-huh, what's up? - Hey, I know things are a little aggressive with the Ronnie Klein case.
- Aggressive? Yeah.
- Yeah, there's some stuff between me and Albert, and you got in the middle of it.
And I am sorry.
But I like you.
I think you are a good, tough lawyer.
I was wondering if you would like to be number two on the case.
- Your number two? - I could use the help, mentor you a little, show you what I know.
So, what do you say? You want to kill this thing together? No thanks.
You think what you did yesterday surprised me.
The other women at this firm, they've told me all about you.
Sorry, I got no interest in learning anything from you.
Okay, well I'm sorry you feel that way.
And have fun with Ronnie.
According to Albert, he is a living nightmare.
[upbeat music.]
[phone chimes.]
I assume those are all from your new client? He tends to use his lawyers like his personal concierge.
You played me.
You knew I'd go after him.
The Delia I know never backs down.
Good luck.
[phone chiming.]
Scott! Quit hiding and crying into your vagina flaps.
Let's talk.
Scott? [soft music.]
[indistinct chatter.]
Here you go, contract signed as requested.
I asked you to bring it to the game yesterday.
Oh, my God, seriously? Nope, you're right.
I'm sorry, Coach.
We okay? Yeah, 2-8's mom.
We okay.
Okay, great.
[upbeat music.]
Move your car.