Greek s03e02 Episode Script

- What are the guns for, then? - For gotcha, the Omega Chis' campus assassin game.
The object of the game is to eliminate your assigned target.
Didn't break your purity pledge? - Nope.
Aren't you proud? - I had sex with Sheila.
I saw Rebecca having a lot of fun last night.
With who? It was hard to tell, given his face was in her mouth.
- Who's the mystery man? - You're a good kisser.
What are we doing? Without extra credit, D on my midterm, which is 20 percent of our grade my average is still a low C.
Max told me everything.
You admitted you weren't over Casey.
Stop.
Cappie and I aren't getting together.
Are we? It's so quiet in here.
Quiet please Spitter's study zone Sorry.
They're making sure I get my studying done.
Totally silent charades.
They've been playing for hours.
Must be nice to have that kind of leisure time, am I right? Between my guitar hero tournaments, tennis lessons, drinking, gardening, I am booked solid, spitter.
- Is that tea? - Boo Berry bana blast punch.
- I warmed it up.
- And you're reading jodi picoult? It's for booktacular: the book club dale and I started.
We're meeting tomorrow and I'm halfway through.
The one daughter needs the other daughter's kidney.
- It's a big dilemma.
Lot of angst.
- Sounds like you and my sister.
Far as I know, Casey and I both have two working Kidneys.
No, I mean the angst.
No angst on my end.
Why would there be? Yeah, I guess you turned her down.
How's she doing? Busy getting ready for ZBZ father/daughter weekend.
"Get your grill on.
" Jordan invited me.
She wants me to meet her dad.
Already.
I mean, we haven't even, you know - The dad? Sorry about that.
- Doin it! Why? She said he's really nice.
Just a regular guy.
I'm supposed to call him Jack.
- It's gonna be great.
- It's gonna be awkward at best.
At worst, there's gonna be a heated argument, culminating in a standoff, gunfire and one or more people are gonna lose a Kidney.
Or I've just been reading too much Jodi Picoult.
Never mind.
It'll be fine, OK? What father wouldn't be thrilled to have you date his daughter? He's screwed.
I know! - Gotcha! - I hate this game! Sorry, Laura.
How do we explain that she's not in the sority anymore? It's beth.
I couldn't explain daylight savings time to her.
It's easier to let her stay.
What if her dad shows up for father/daughter weekend? Last thing we need is another dad.
Every year, all the dads care about is the flag football game.
You think they were at NFL fantasy camp instead of playing against frat guys.
Not just any frat guys.
The best athletes on the row.
Calvin's playing this year, so I made banners for both him and my dad.
- You're weird, Ash.
- Why? 'cause I like my dad? Because you text your dad every day.
You asked him to be your Facebook friend.
That's weird.
My dad hasn't talked to me about anything except the weather since I got boobs.
With my dad, infidelity with hookers is always a conversational option.
- Can't wait! - That sucks.
He did just finish a two-week intensive therapy retreat.
With colonic cleanse.
He claims he's a changed man.
This is all so sad! I tell my dad everything.
He knew about me and fisher hooking up before you guys did.
And I told him about you and Evan.
Yeah, Evan.
You know, there are other guys on this campus.
Relax.
It's not like you kissed someone else's boyfriend this time.
But I have to ask, how the hell did that Even happen? The usual way.
Tequila shots.
You know how it is.
What do you mean? Evan hasn't touched tequila since the human PI? That mixer sophomore year.
I mean, I did too many shots and kissed him.
I thought you said he kissed you.
That's what I meant.
So why are you so nervous, Rebecca? Not nervous.
In a hurry.
Study session later.
Hey, Fisher, looks like Rebecca wants seconds of that sausage.
She can't seem to cram it in her mouth fast enough.
Sorry about that.
Oh, my god! Yum, Spicy sausage! - = 302 =- "Our Fathers" VO By: ¤Aka¤, flolo, Jujuleder Fisher, can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah, sure.
I'm kind of busy right now, but - It's just - Hi, guys! What's going on? I just had a question for Fisher.
Really? What's the question? - Why do you care? - I'm a curious person, Casey.
So am i.
I'm curious if the two of you have something to hide about the end of the world party.
Something disgusting you should be totally ashamed of? - Of course not.
- We just kissed, OK? I can't believe this.
I can't believe you would do this to Ashleigh.
- It was a total accident.
- It'll never happen again.
We were drunk, Rebecca kissed me, and as soon as I realized, I stopped.
Way to take responsibility.
And you.
After everything that she's done for you? - I know.
- My god, I'm such a dumbass.
Of course she'll never forgive me for this.
No, she won't.
But I'm not going to tell her.
You're not? I'm just picturing her face.
She doesn't deserve to feel that way.
You guys are the ones who deserve to live with this.
All right.
I'm gonna take you at your word, just this once, that you love Ash and this was a huge mistake.
And I am going to assume that you were drunk and didn't know what you were doing, and you're not the horrible, backstabbing, conniving whorebag this behavior would imply.
You really expect me to believe you're not gonna tell her? I guess you'll just have to trust me.
What's up with the jazzy ensemble? I could ask you the same thing.
I got an important meeting with my pastor.
I have an important meeting with one Mr.
Jack reed, jordan's dad.
I dressed up a little bit so I don't get judged as some dumb frat guy.
Sometimes it's good to be judged as harshly as possible.
Want to talk to me about something? No judgments.
You know, don't you? What gave it away? Her slatternly perfume? I can't get it off my clothes.
Like she's marked me.
No, you smell The way you always smell.
Calvin told me.
He's worried about you.
- That losing your virginity - Don't say it! I'm sure I'm gonna feel normal and pure again as soon as I talk it out with pastor dan, so Good luck with your judgment day.
Hi! Dad! How was your flight? - It's good to see you.
- You too.
You look great.
I bet you know what i'm gonna say now, right? - What's that? - Tire pressure, case.
Your right rear looks low.
Might want to take care of it.
I'm just looking out for you.
Yeah.
So how's mom? Good.
How's your brother? Good.
I thought I'd drop you back at your hotel.
I have to finish setting up for the barbecue.
Sounds good.
Good.
When's the last time you changed the oil? I just did.
You can't forget.
Do you know how important adequate lubrication is? What I mean is, for instance, in your mother's vul Volvo What if you broke down in an unsavory neighborhood? - A pretty girl like you.
- I said I just got the oil changed.
And I'm an adult, - I can take care of - Stop sign.
Stop sign! Almost out of gas.
Jammin' we jammin' with jesus, too he jammin' with us we jammin' with him jammin' brother kettlewell! Are you here to jam for the lord? No, I didn't bring my guitar.
I actually just, need to talk to you about Sin.
Jesus's specialty.
That's what he died for.
No, I understand that.
So if I sin and ask for forgiveness Then you're forgiven.
- Beautiful, isn't it? - But I had sex! With my landlady.
This is a woman I didn't love.
- I didn't even really like her.
- Brother Kettlewell, the gospel according to John says if we confess our sins, then he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness.
Then how come I still feel like hell? Brother Kettlewell, jesus has done his part.
So don't blame him if you still feel bad come on, sing with me.
We're jammin' we're jammin' with Jesus, too we'd like a taxi, please.
Traveling in style, right? Or casey didn't want to pick us up.
Dad, do you mind if I try out a few conversation topics on you? I want to be prepared for Jordan's dad.
You're gonna be fine, Rus.
Remember in high school, your mother always used to say, "it's too bad Rusty doesn't have a girlfriend or date" 'cause"any parent would be thrilled to have him dating their daughter.
" Remember those friday nights we all used to hang out? How we used to say, "it's too bad Joan of Arcadia isn't a real girl, 'cause Joe Mantegna and Mary Steenburgen would've really liked you.
" That makes me feel so much better.
Cab for Jack Reed! Yeah.
Jack reed here.
Mr.
Reed.
- Yeah.
- I'm, Jordan's boyfriend, Rusty.
Is that right? How the heck are ya? - Call me Jack.
- This is my dad, Russell.
Russell.
Russell, Rusty.
Sensing a theme here.
That's right! We try to make it easy.
Why don't we share a cab over? - Great.
- Yeah.
A little scrawny for a cornerback, huh? Must make up for it in speed.
Come on! Wait a minute.
You have a girlfriend and you're playing football? - That's my Rus.
- No.
He thinks i'm her ex-boyfriend.
Let's move it.
I killed again last night.
I hope you mean in the game.
I feel bad because he thought we were going on a date.
But then I got him! Guess he shouldn't have trusted you.
He didn't mind though.
I let him touch my right boobie.
Ash, I have to tell you something.
You're probably gonna hate me, and I wish I never did it, but I didn't kiss Evan at the end of the world party.
I kissed Fisher.
What? That's not funny.
Is that a joke? I wish it were.
- You kissed Fisher? - I'm sorry, Ash.
It was just a kiss.
Oh, yeah, and one more thing: Casey found out, but didn't tell.
- She wanted to keep it a secret.
- What? - What? - What? Where should I put these buns? Ashleigh! There's my girl! Dad.
Ash, I can explain this whole situation.
Did you kiss her? Rebecca kissed me, and I stopped her.
- It will never happen again.
- Welcome to ZBZ.
Never speak to me again.
Ash, can I? Will you listen to me for one minute? Here they are, the bffs! Casey and Ashleigh! Senior year! What are you guys gonna do without each other? Think you're gonna be roomies out there in the big bad world? Oh, I'm not worried, dad.
I can't wait for graduation.
Omg, it's the bbf Fs.
It's like they've all been readingtiger beat.
Hey, dad.
Hi, Mr.
Cartwright.
Hey, kid.
Is that who I think it is? If you mean Fisher, nope.
Come on, dad.
Let's go get some food.
Sure is, clear out today.
I have so much inside of me that needs to come out.
Wasn't that part of your problem before, dad? I acknowledge that.
But the key is constant communication.
That's what I learned on my retreat.
Confessions of past wrongs is the way to make current rights.
Ash, can I talk to you for one Get your hands off me.
Welcome, Mr.
Logan.
Are you having a fight with your friend, becky? It's nothing I can't handle.
As my art therapist said, "friends are the glue that hold our hearts together.
" I had a best friend once.
Then I lured him into a ponzi scheme that bankrupted him, and then I slept with his wife.
I was a bad man, becky.
Your newfound self-awareness is really annoying.
I acknowledge that.
This guy's a cavs fan.
Great.
First your dad thinks I'm andy, and now he'd clearly rather you date my gay best friend than me.
Oh, come on.
You know how dads are.
He barely hears a word I say.
Of course I told him about you.
The only thing that registered in the past two months were "football player" and "boyfriend.
" Why didn't you tell me he's such a sports nut? I could've studied.
You said he was just a regular guy.
Aren't most regular guys sports nuts? - So I'm an irregular guy? - No! He is gonna love you, all right? Come on.
So cal here once won the halftime free-throw contest.
- Isn't that amazing? - And rusty's his best friend! That's right, sir! Let me get that.
Don't worry about that.
Oh! That's all right.
That's good.
You know, the first time I drank tequila, I spit it out.
All over a girl.
Good story.
But, sir, don't think I'm some reckless underage drinker.
The reason I spit it out was because that was he first time I ever drank.
I'm in the honors engineering program.
We don't have time to drink.
Leave that to communications majors.
Communication majors.
Yes! Like my dad! Dad, we talk about the importance of communication all the time.
Yeah.
So you spit your tequila out all over a girl? Yes.
Like I said, it was the first time I drank.
Can't you hold your liquor? You're in a frat.
- Yeah, I am! - Good.
Then we'll see what you got on the field tomorrow? No, dad, rusty's too busy studying No, I'm not! Of course I'm playing.
All right.
Great.
Let's get you another beer, dad.
Can't wait to see how fast you are off the line.
Yeah, just wait till you see how fast I am on the line.
Make it stop, please make it stop.
What happened to booktacular? I waited for an hour.
Can you believe that after all that, she died? That's not Jodi Picoult! I did the dirty, OK? I tried to tell you about it before - With the landlady? - Yes.
It was magical Ly disgusting.
She made noises like a banshee, like a farm animal in late-stage labor.
Leaving me feeling as soiled as the veterinarian's glove.
Are you sure that you did it right? - And now god's mad at you? - Yeah.
I asked for forgiveness, so everything should be fine.
Speaking of things that are fine Hail mary! - It's mary-elyse, actually.
- Oh, a girl with two names.
Yeah, and three gods.
What's the deal with this trinity bunk? I know that the formalities of the catholic church can seem daunting, but it offers an ordered path to salvation that helps people find the answers that have eluded them for centuries.
I have heard your people dole out some pretty harsh - punishments to sinners.
- Only if you've been very bad.
You have no idea.
Why don't the two of you join me at mass tonight, 9pm, saint ignatius full of sorrow? All right.
I'll be there.
But I'm not doing any kneeling.
Oh, don't worry, I will.
She told me she was 18, but I knew she was lying.
I acknowledge that.
Now the other girl Sorry, dad, casey's gotta yell at me.
Gotta go! I was gonna make up something polite, but OK.
I assume you're wondering why I told ashleigh the truth.
Yeah.
That was the first thing I was going to yell.
I didn't trust you not to tell her sooner or later.
You're best friend.
You tell each other everything.
As for the second thing i'm going to yell Why'd I drag you into it? Simple.
Ashleigh's kind of the best friend I have.
I screwed up and she may never forgive me.
But I figured if she's mad at both of us, it'd take a little of the heat off me.
I know, right? I'm kinda brilliant.
And kind of evil! You realize what you've done? Ashleigh isn't like you, or even me.
She's all heart.
This could destroy her.
Let's go, girls.
And now, the time has come for the zbz father/daughter welcome song! Oh, daddy, daddy I once sat on your knee and I still remember the lessons you taught me like always eat your vegetables but first you must give thanks like never tell a lie unless you want to die those aren't the words Like never trust a slut who has a big ol'butt I do not have a big ol'butt! You do have a big mouth, though.
All right.
Let's settle this right now, you and me! Yeah, bitch.
- You're the bitch.
- You're both bitches! Anyone else turned on right now? What? Those aren't my daughters.
We're supposed to be sisters! Girls, we can't help if you don't tell us what's wrong.
Is it possible that there's something going on that may have put all three of you in bad moods? Something In the body? 'cause I read that when girls live together No, dad, it's not our periods.
OK.
Well, if it's not hormonal, why can't the three of you just talk it out? Sounds good to me.
I don't have anything to talk to you about.
You kissed my boyfriend.
And you hid it from me.
Wait.
Fisher? Where does he live? I will kick his ass! Sit down, dad.
Becky, are you self-sabotaging again? Please don't let our unstable relationship sully your ability - to form lasting bonds.
- Shut up, dad.
Your dad is right, rebecca.
You should learn to keep your hands off other girls' boyfriends.
You kept your hands off cappie during spring break? You were broken up.
And we only kissed.
- I only kissed fisher! - We weren't broken up.
And you slept with evan! At least I didn't sleep with a 16-year-old! Omd.
You know what? I didn't betray either one of you.
And I never would.
Do you think it might be a good idea to go apologize to ashleigh? Dad, I'm not a child! Becky, I beg you, call my hypnotherapist.
You need to deal with your narcissistic attention-seeking.
I am not gonna be lectured by a man who missed my ballet recital because he was busy filibustering a legislative aide.
Well, that didn't go as well as could be expected.
For what it's worth, I was thinking the same thing.
About the periods and bodies.
Women and their emotions! Rofl.
I did get the impression ashleigh was a little bit hyper-emotional.
We're just talking about a little kiss.
My daughter is the victim here.
Victim? Do we really need to use politically-correct language? I will use whatever language I want when talking about your daughter betraying my daughter.
All right, let's just calm down right now! But ken, you have to admit, when it comes to rebecca, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Right? Your daughter should have told my daughter the truth.
I've never been talked to in such a displeasing manner.
I suck at football.
You gotta help me think of a way out of this game.
But it's gotta be a manly way.
How about tomorrow you say we went bungee jumping, I got injured trying to rescue you.
That sounds bad-ass, right? OK.
Don't sweat the game, rusty.
Is that some kind of sports lingo? If it is, I don't get it.
Every year, the fraternity team throws the game.
That means we let the dads win.
Makes them feel young and virile for a brief, shining moment, until they go back to aging wives and unrewarding white-collar jobs, counting the days until retirement.
So I have to help you lose? - I can do that.
- Yes.
Your total lack of athletic prowess will fit right in.
Now go pay attention to your girlfriend instead of obsessing about her dad.
Thanks, cal.
Yeah? Don't let him see you run.
Nice.
I'm such an idiot.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
I find that a little hard to believe right now.
I was drunk.
And I screwed up big time.
I didn't even know what was happening until it happened.
Believe me, if there was any way I could take it back But that's the problem.
I can't believe you anymore.
When someone cheats on me, then it's over.
Even if it was just a kiss? I thought we really had something great together.
We still can.
Please? How can I trust you again? I can't.
The idolatry wasn't nearly as distracting as I'd imagined.
I'm glad you guys enjoyed mass.
Absolutely.
The priest gave me a bunch of hail marys to atone for my sin.
Plus, the beads.
Have any literature on flogging? Mary-elyse, we should we get out of here.
No.
Hold on, buddy.
I got a few more questions for mary-elyse.
What say we go get a cup of coffee and really dig deep into vatican ii? - Sure - Fantastic.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
I need mary-elyse for the night.
You can have her tomorrow.
What kind of sucker do you take me for? My spiritual needs outweigh carnal ones.
She's mine tonight.
I know we agreed our friendship benefits from avoiding expression of deep emotions.
Yeah.
Agreed, especially due to our shared past with the same woman.
Right.
But look.
The truth is i'm in a little bit of a funk.
All right, just go.
Yes! Bless you.
Come on.
After you.
We have to talk about this.
You're my best friend.
I hate to see you hurt like this.
That's why I didn't tell you.
I was trying to protect you.
- You're such a good person - I'm a good person.
That doesn't make me incapable of handling this.
I know that.
- Ash, I was just - I dumped fisher.
Really? Are you sure? It was just a kiss.
Case, I'm not exactly like you.
I'm not cool enough to stay with my boyfriend after he cheats on me.
- It's not always that simple.
- Well, for me, it is.
Gotcha! I have one question.
Yeah, I have some in the drawer.
What? Really? But I actually wanted to ask you if you think your dad was impressed that I was gonna play in the game tomorrow.
Seriously? I don't want to talk about my dad right now.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Sweetie, I think I left my What the hell are you doing to my daughter? Sir, I just want to apologize again for last night.
I know what it looked like, but I was giving her a back rub.
I know exactly what you were rubbing.
Now how about we settle this on the field, cartwright? I'm fine right here.
What's the matter, you scared? Because I'm about to bring the pain.
Sounds good.
Can't wait! Good! I'll see you out there.
Ready for the big game? Ready as I'll ever be.
Sorry for, butting in yesterday.
I know that was none of my business.
You know, if you curl your fingers up as you cut, you're less likely to get nicked.
You want to be careful.
I am careful.
Why is it so hard for you to trust that I know what I'm doing? You'll always be my little girl.
If I had my way, I'd always be able to protect you as easily as I could back then.
But the good thing about growing up is that you taught me to protect myself.
When you baby me, it makes me feel like you think I'm an idiot.
I don't think you're an idiot.
- But you make me feel that way.
- I'm just trying to protect you, just like you were trying to protect ashleigh.
What a wonderful world.
If I was one of those douchebags who say, "i'm high on life," i'd say it right now.
Have you talked to mary-elyse today? I left her a few messages.
I think I got a bum set of beads.
I was rubbing these up and down all night, and I feel just as impure as before.
Now that you mention it, i'm waiting for the lovely m-e to return my calls.
And speaking of the angel - Should I buy a hair shirt? - How about a date? Excuse me for a moment.
You're kind of smothering me.
Both of you.
- You're cute.
- Thank you.
But leaving me five messages since last night? That's creepy.
As for your messages, dale, I didn't appreciate your threatening tone.
Maybe you're not catholic material.
"Grown men" on three! Let's go! One, two, three! Grown men! Let's go! Ready, set, hut, hut, hut! Come on! Here! Come on! I'm open! What are you doing? - Fumble! - Time out! - What the hell was that? - Dumb call! Are you blind? Can you see over here? I'm wide open! This game is gonna be harder to throw than we thought.
- Come on.
Let's get in.
- It's all right.
- Throw it to me.
I was wide open.
- Wide open like your daughter! - Let's just focus on the game here.
- Don't patronize me, Cartwright.
Same play.
It's gonna work.
Grown men on three.
One, two, three.
- Grown men! - Let's go, boys.
Can I sit with you? Maybe.
I should have given you more credit.
Of course you can take care of yourself.
And I should have told you about fisher.
I'm so sorry, Ash.
That's OK.
You meant well.
And I kind of need my best friend back, especially since I just had my heart broken and all.
Come here.
Are we making up now? We're still mad at you! Nice one, Dad! Better luck next time, Rus! Eat my dust, Cartwright! Rusty, no! It's flag football! Oh, my God! Eat that! - Is it over? Did we win? - Rusty, what did you do? - What? - My back! - Honey.
- You OK? He frickin' tackled! - I know.
I saw.
- God, what did he do? Hey.
May I have a pitcher of beer? Thanks.
Right away.
What are you doing here? You're not a ZBZ dad.
Well, not that I know of.
Who won the game? It was called on account of a medical emergency.
Which, fortunately, was just a pulled muscle.
Jordan's dad is resting comfortably, being tended to by his daughter.
Rusty tackled him.
I warned him.
Hemingway? At dobler's? New book club selection.
I'm behind.
I keep finding myself preoccupied.
- Here you go.
- We We read that in my freshman lit class.
Tragic love story.
Some would say.
Yeah, they just couldn't seem to get the timing right.
And then he got his junk blown off in World War I.
See ya.
You think Jordan will break up with me now that I almost killed her dad? When I offered to go to his hotel, she said that wasn't a good idea.
Trying to impress a girl's father is a losing battle.
It's hard not to be the only man in your daughter's life.
And it's hard to admit they need someone else.
Why do you think I hated all of Casey's high school boyfriends? So are you saying that Jack is probably just as scared of me as I am of him? You did almost paralyze him, son.
Yeah, that wasn't good.
I would have thrown it to you if I thought you'd catch it.
It's not about catching.
It's about throwing.
You wouldn't have caught it.
You have sandals.
You're both wrong.
This is ridiculous.
You guys! You guys are all adults.
Whatever is going on between Ashleigh, Rebecca and me doesn't involve you.
And didn't the fact that one of your own got taken down by Rusty remind you that you're not getting any younger, and life is too short to hold a grudge.
Dad.
Would you like to start? Is there something you want to say to mr.
Logan and Mr.
Howard? No hard feelings? Well, I'd like to apologize if I insinuated that your daughter is - There's no need to expand on that! - OK! Apology acknowledged.
Well done.
So I don't suppose I can convince you that life is too short to hold a grudge against me? For one little kiss? I acknowledge that.
Have I walked into a transgenderedcathycomic? Guess you're breaking up with catholicism? Don't sweat it.
It was a rebound religion anyway.
Just like Mary-Elyse was a rebound girl for me.
Who are you rebounding from? You know our woman in common? I think I wasn't over her.
Even though I had the chance to be with her, and I didn't take it.
That is so Casey.
You know, she makes you love her and then she turns away.
I am in a funk.
And I guess book clubs, tennis, video games, beer and even the lovely and treacherous Mary-Elyse aren't gonna make it easier.
Word.
But the important thing is there's lot of other girls, and gods, in the sea.
You know, I don't want another god.
I just want mine back.
I hear.
Saved one of your favorites.
Red velvet.
Sorry I almost paralyzed your dad.
He's fine now.
You might have done him a favor.
He promised to finally go get a physical.
He should thank me then.
Yeah, don't push it.
Do you mind that your dad doesn't like me? I think that I like you enough for the both of us.
Your dad isn't gonna stop by, is he? I don't think so, but Let's wait until he goes back to Columbus.
So You ready to get your old dad out of your hair? I'm gonna miss you, dad.
I had a lot of fun this weekend.
Even with all the Craziness.
Me too.
It's not my business, but did you figure everything out with your gal pals? More or less.
You know, college, lots of drama.
Don't let the drama get you down.
Ever since you were a little girl, you've been able to handle anything.
Now that you're not a little girl anymore, the world better look out for my daughter.
Thanks, dad.
It's nice you think that about me.
It's the truth.
- You sure you changed that oil? - Dad! Just checking! Love you.
Love you, too.
Crap.