Just Good Friends (1983) s03e02 Episode Script

1 What would you say If I told you things had never changed and We II find a way To take our dreams and rearrange them Who d believe That we could be in love again? So let s just pretend That you and me can be Just good friends Are you coming into the office or do you want breakfast in bed? Morning.
Morning.
Another all night board meeting? Afraid so.
It's tough at the top, Beverley.
Oh.
It's 9.
35.
No, I'm trying to find out what day it is.
- Tuesday morning.
- Oh, good.
As long as I know.
(Clang of metal) - There s someone here to see you.
- Right.
- It's not her, is it? - No, no.
It's a friend.
Thank God for that.
Clean this place up, Bev.
Looks like a bomb s hit it.
- How was Paris? - Very French.
Christ, you look terrible.
Maybe, but she's a bloody good secretary.
He was talking to you.
Oh, right.
Your eyes are like Smarties on fried eggs.
How s business, Leonard? Very, very successful.
- I suppose you enjoyed yourself in Paris? - That s the rumour.
- Have you bothered to go home since? - Home? To your flat.
To your wife.
I can't honestly say that I have.
Last night I was on the point of going when I was taken extremely drunk.
Don't you think you ought to call? She might be worried.
Has she phoned to enquire about my whereabouts? - Of course she has, hasn't she? - No.
There s your answer.
She goes her way, I go mine.
Oh, you make me sick.
Couldn't you or Gina just make the teeniest effort to save your marriage? I didn't realise your duties involved sticking your nose in my private life.
I'll make some coffee.
Bev? None of us are perfect.
That s true, but we don't have to turn it into a hobby, do we? - She thinks the world of me.
- I know.
- So, what brings you round here? - Well We've all been a bit concerned.
The past 48 hours you've been a registered missing person.
Missing person? Your old man phoned about the business.
Like, was it still here.
She phoned your hotel.
You weren't there.
I must have been out.
I attended a lot of business meetings.
The receptionist said you hadn't even checked into the hotel.
- Ah.
- Ah! I thought you might say something like that.
Did you bump into Penny? Yes, many times.
Does she know? Well, she seemed to be aware.
No, Vince.
Did she know that you were a married man? Well, she didn't mention it.
I bet my pension you didn't, either.
Well, I thought it might spoil the mood, Leonard.
Some things are best left unsaid.
How long for, Vince, though? The moment she gets back, someone s bound to tell her.
She's back now.
We flew home together.
She's back? Listen, Vin.
Listen.
What? Can you hear that ticking sound? One day soon, that s going to blow up right in your face.
The way I look this morning, that can only improve things.
I'm your mate, Gina s friend.
I was best man at your wedding.
I don't want to see you throw it all away without a fight.
Without a fight? We do nothing but fight.
The neighbours have named our flat Beirut.
We haven't got a home in the real sense.
It's just a place to keep our clothes.
We occasionally just happen to be there at the same time.
Last time we bumped into each other in the hall, she screamed.
She got what she wanted from me.
I set her up in business.
That s all she was ever interested in.
I mean, she doesn t even use our married name.
She's a Ms.
Listen, Len, I love Penny.
Great.
But just think about the future, will you? This company of yours, the family business, has expanded in all directions since you took over.
We re no longer talking about a couple of scrap yards.
Your money s invested in everything - supermarkets, clothes shops.
You ve even got a vineyard in Portugal.
When Gina finds out about Penny, she's going to take you to the cleaner s.
That s all right.
I got one of them as well.
Listen, Len, I know I'm on very thin ice but I don't care.
- I'm doing this for us.
- Don't you involve me in all this.
- I meant me and Penny, stupid! - Oh, right.
I don't know what the world s coming to.
Fancy a drink? It's a bit early.
Yeah, all right.
Here s your coffee and your aspirins.
There s the rest of your mail and there s a letter here.
From your wife.
She's writing to me? What s Claire Rayner here got to say about that? Leave it out, Vin.
Read it to me, would you? My eyes don't focus till 12.
She says she's going away for a couple of days to Swindon.
Some fashion show.
Do they have fashion shows in Swindon? They must do.
She II call you when she gets back.
Good.
I'm feeling better already.
Any phone messages for me? There s nothing on the office machine.
I wouldn't know about your personal line.
Switch it on, Len.
I'll pour the drinks.
(Beep) (Penny) Um, hi, Vince.
It's me.
I, um That's Penny.
Um, I just thought I'd phone to say that I enjoyed our weekend.
It was lovely.
It was Well, it was really nice to see you again after all this time.
I, um I feel that I said lots of things that I didn't mean and didn't say lots of things that I did mean.
- You know what I mean.
- What does she mean? Ssh.
Like, I didn't say that you 're a big, fat rat.
And I didn't say that I love you, and I should have.
- No, no, no.
- Anyway, I've said it now.
I'll be in the London office for a few days, so come up and see me sometime.
Bye.
Boy, are you in trouble.
She II go berserk when she finds out.
She may already have known when she made that call, Len.
She's grown up a lot.
She's a very mature, very understanding woman now.
(Beep) Vincent, you BASTARD! Strange girl.
If I was you, Vincent, I d do something positive, like hide.
How are things between you and Angie? All right.
Leonard, I'm your friend.
I want you to feel free to phone me any time you need help or advice.
Advice from you? That s like asking a cannibal for a recipe.
- You re my mate as well, right? - Yeah.
Would you do something for me? No.
Leave me out of this one, Vin.
Thanks a lot, Len.
Oh.
I wouldn't like to be in my shoes.
- Dry martini and soda.
- Oh, thank you.
- Your guest has arrived, madam.
- Oh, thank you very much.
- All right, Pen? - What the hell do you think you re doing? Get away from me, you creep.
I don't want to see you again as long as I live.
And if we should meet in the after world, I'll spit in your face.
- How long have you worn glasses? - What s it got to do with you? And how did you know I was here? I tried to catch you at your office.
They said you were meeting a client here.
Yes, I am.
So would you please go away? Just get out of my sight and stay there.
- Pen.
- Don't touch me.
Hey, something s wrong, isn't it? Something s wrong? You can't hide it from me.
Do you want to tell me about it? Just take your horrible little reptile hand away from me.
I discovered last night, upon return from our romantic weekend, that you are married.
I see.
I thought it might be something like that.
Who told you? My father.
- Well, who told him? - My mother.
- Well, who told her? - Good Lord! Your mother.
Rita.
That woman and her mouth.
I d like to fit Velcro to her lips.
Well, I'm very grateful to her.
Otherwise I might have gone on believing all those things.
I meant every word, Pen.
Like hell you did.
You just used me, Vince.
- Are you saying I lied? - Do piranhas bite? I didn't lie to you, Pen.
- You didn't tell me you were married.
- You didn't ask me.
With your track record that s hardly the first question that springs to mind.
Why didn't you tell me? If I had told you, would you still have let me stay at your place? No, I wouldn't.
That s why I didn't tell you.
No, no, I put that badly.
I'm sorry, Pen.
What I meant to say was, we were both having a great time.
You seemed to be enjoying yourself.
Come on, Pen.
You enjoyed yourself as well.
What on earth gives you that idea? You said so on my answering machine.
Oh.
Yes, and that s what hurts so much.
It was lovely.
They were the nicest days I can remember.
It was just us.
There was no family, no friends, nothing to remind us of the past.
Oh, God, I'm so stupid.
Do you know, I started to believe that maybe we d got it right? - I wanted to tell you, honest I did, Pen.
- Well, you should have.
I wouldn't have hated you for it.
Do you know what I do hate you for? For making the pretence so bloody good.
God, when I think back, I still can't understand how you did it.
I was just on form, Pen.
No.
No, Vince.
I meant, how could you say all those things to me, knowing what you knew? It wasn't easy, Pen.
It was tearing me apart.
- So, who is she? - Who? Your This person you've become hitched to.
- Oh, you know, Pen, no one special.
- No one special? - You married her! - I know.
Why does everyone keep reminding me? Her name s Gina.
Gina? Yes.
Yes, that s perfect.
I could imagine you ending up with someone called Gina.
So, what s she like? Well, if my memory serves me well, she's kind of tall, slender, blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, shapely bust, very attractive face.
She used to be a fashion model.
Oh, I see.
What attracted you to her? We hadn't long parted and I was looking for someone different to you.
They say that when a relationship ends, most men often look What s wrong? I'm extremely busy, Vincent.
That s what s wrong.
I have a very important client arriving any second now so would you be so kind as to naff off? What have I done? Can t we talk for a couple of minutes? You've had all the time you re getting.
Well, can we meet tonight? Meet? Why don't you spend a cosy evening in, watching telly with the with that woman? Well, that s the thing, Pen.
She's out of town for a couple of nights.
Oh, I see.
So it's bring on the sub? God, if we weren't in a restaurant, I d scratch your horrible eyes out.
I didn't mean it like that.
It's a chance for us to talk.
I will never ever talk to you again.
- Pen - I'm not talking to you.
But why? How can I tell you why I'm not talking to you when I'm not talking to you? - So you re not talking to me? - I knew the penny would drop eventually.
- Pen, you have to understand.
- Go to hell! Well, look, if you won't talk to me, will you talk to Lennie? Lennie? Who, Lennie what s-his-name? Your best man? Yeah, talk to me through a go-between.
The only way I'll talk to you is through a medium.
I'm terribly sorry, madam, but another guest has arrived for you.
Oh, no, in fact that is my one and only guest.
This is This is leaving.
Come on, Vince.
Run along now.
- I'm staying.
- What? I'm staying put.
Vincent, this is a very important business lunch.
Will you please go? I'm staying.
I'm going to sit here, make foul sounds and do all manner of revolting things.
- Vince, you wouldn't! - Try me.
Vince, please.
If you feel anything for me, you d leave.
You haven't got a hope in hell.
Well, if I do meet you tonight, it will only be through pity.
Fine.
I can live with pity.
- Where? - You know the scrap yard? I'll see you outside there at 8:30.
If you don't move your hand, I'll slap you so hard.
8:30.
Oh, and Pen.
The glasses How do you do? Would you like to come and sit down? ( Music on car stereo) (Gasps) Nice dog! Good dog.
Good doggy.
Beg.
Don't annoy the dogs.
We have enough trouble with them as it is.
What s wrong with that thing? It's a bitch.
They re always the most vicious.
Really? Down, Daphne.
Daphne, down! Get off.
Vince, can we get one thing straight? I understand you well enough to know what your moronic little mind has planned for tonight.
Forget it, zonko.
In two hours or under, I shall be back in my own house.
- Got it? - Yes.
- You understand.
- Yes.
Good boy.
Do you want to move your car, Pen, so the lorries can get in in the morning? Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Look, Vincent! A joke, Pen.
Just a joke.
Yes, and only just.
- It's a Rolls-Royce.
- Yes, I've seen them before.
- A phone.
- I've often wondered what those were.
- Why don't you call someone? - Why? Tell them you re phoning from a Rolls-Royce.
I don't believe it.
Where are we going? A little place I know.
Somewhere we can be completely alone.
- You d better not pull into a motel - It's not a motel.
I am not entering that flat.
I don't know how you've got the nerve to bring me here.
We re just going to talk.
You won't go to prison for it.
Just drive me back to my car, please.
Look, we'll have one drink and then we'll leave.
Once and for all, I am not entering that Oh, God! - Do you think they saw me? - I don't care if they did.
No, but I do care.
Look, Pen, we re just friends, that s all.
Friends having a drink and a chat.
Now where s the harm in that? Now, what would you like? What would you like to drink? Bearing in mind there s only sherry.
Um could I have a sherry, please? Very good choice.
I think I'll join you.
You can sit down if you like.
I'm nervous.
Any minute someone s going to come through that door Look, can we just drink this and go? We're on our own.
No one s coming through that door.
There's just us.
Now, please, relax.
Where did you say your she'd gone? Swindon.
Some fashion show or something.
Do they have fashion shows in Swindon? Apparently.
There you go.
Er, no.
There.
Oh, right.
- Happy days.
- Don't be silly.
So, how s married life treating you? It's a bit like being at a bad party, Pen.
I just can't wait for the last record.
I can't tell you what that woman s put me under.
My nerves have come back.
Look.
She's made my life a living nightmare.
She's even I'm sorry.
I shouldn't keep talking to you about her.
No, that s all right.
I'm warming to her.
She's doing what I should have done a long time ago.
- Made you suffer.
- What have I ever done to you? What have you? Have you any idea what this news did to me? I felt sick, drained, useless.
I couldn't stay in that house, not with my father waffling on about how funny life s little twists and turns are, how I now have a career and a wonderful future, and you re a settled and happily married man.
And all the time I knew that my bed was still warm where your fat rat body had been lying three hours earlier.
(Sighs) So I got in the car and I drove to the pub.
I'd never been in a pub on my own before.
People kept looking at me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hide the hurt that you d caused.
Oh, well, they most probably thought you were just an easy pick-up, that s all.
I'm sorry? Well, that s what fellas think of a woman on her own in a pub.
Oh, so it's all right for you to be on your own in a pub? But then again, you are an easy pick-up.
Not so much these days, Pen.
In your moronic little mind, there always has to be a cynical motive, doesn't there? Those people couldn't have just sensed my feelings of anger and dejection.
No, well, maybe not.
They could have thought, 'There's a woman suffering with inner turmoil.
'I bet she's an easy pick-up.
' Yes, that's just typical of your attitude to the human race.
To you, Vince, people are just things.
Things God put on this earth for you to use and play with and then throw away when you re tired of them.
God, look how you used me.
All those things you said to me when we were lying in my flat.
God, they roll off your tongue so easily.
That s because you've used them all a thousand times before.
'Oh, Penny, I love you so much.
'My world has been like a desert since you went away.
'When I die, I want to be wrapped in your arms.
' What you neglected to tell me was that I'd just been crowned this month's bit on the side.
'My world has been like a desert'? Did I say that? Yes, and lots more.
I realised that most of your lines came from songs.
One of them came from a commercial.
- I meant everything I said.
- You didn't tell me you were married.
You didn't tell me you wore glasses.
You're starting to get on my nerves now.
Listen, Pen.
I promise you this.
Some day, somehow, I'll prove it to you.
And I promise you this.
Some day, somehow, I'll get even with you.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
I'm going to hurt you badly.
Not physically, of course, but I'll hurt you.
I will destroy the thing you value most.
I thought you said you wouldn't get physical.
Where are you going? To the off-licence to get some drink.
I'm not staying here on my own.
I'm coming.
I didn't think you wanted people to see us.
What happens if someone comes in? Pen, when you hear a key in that door, it will be me.
- Someone might knock.
- Well, let them knock.
You pretend you're not in.
I'll only be a minute.
Do you want a packet of crisps? Just hurry up.
(Phone rings) (Gasps) There's no one in.
Oh, stop it.
Stop.
All right, then.
Carry on.
See if I care.
Oh, stop it.
(Phone still ringing) (Phone stops ringing) (Gasps) Oh.
(Remembers) And I promise you this.
Some day, somehow, I'll get even with you.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Ooh! Oh, he's sure to notice.
(Door opening) Oh, my God! - All right, Pen? - What? - I said, all right? - Fine.
Um I have a confession to make.
I don't quite know how to tell you.
I feel very ashamed.
Pen, I'm not concerned with things that happened in the past.
Whatever you did is OK by me.
I think you might change your mind, Vince.
- (Phone rings) - Oh, Vince, it's the phone.
Oh, is that what it is? Lucky you were here, Pen.
Hello? What, right now? No, it's not a problem.
OK, I'll see you in a minute.
I'll pour you a drink.
What do you mean, 'I'll see you in a minute'? - Who was that? - It was only Lennie.
Lennie! Oh, why does he have to come here now of all times? Well, there s not a lot I can do, Pen.
This is his flat.