Kim's Convenience (2016) s03e02 Episode Script

1 - I'm so full, you finish? - Yeah.
- Ew! - What? - Oh, that's gross.
- What's gross? Bowl backwash.
One bowl per person.
When you was little, we all eat from same bowl.
First, Appa, then me, then Jung, then you.
- You're not serious.
- Yeah, same spoon too.
- Why didn't we use our own bowls? - It's natural, like a bird.
- How? - When you were the little, we first chew your food to make a soft, then - [IMITATES SPITTING.]
Give to you.
- Oh! Stop.
That's nothing.
You know how we trim toenail? No, I don't want to.
- With our teeth.
- I said no! - Want to know how we cut you hair? - No! - With scissor.
- Oh.
Then, we use your hair to make a pillow.
- I can't.
- What? I just kidding.
We never use a scissor! [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
- And, uh, here you change.
- Said the wisher to the well.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Okay, see you.
- Okay, Mr.
Kim.
[KEYBOARD CLICKING.]
Frank, what you want? Well, if you're gonna hold my feet to the furnace.
I need your help in the cyberspace.
- What? - The internet, Twitter, Spacebook.
I know what the internet is.
I need a positive web review for my business.
My ex-wife, Bernice, went on the Google after a bottle of shiraz and really took me to task.
Zero stars.
Left a lovely review for the wine, mind you.
Why you even have online review? [SHOP BELL DINGS.]
You're not really a modern business without 'em.
There's probably a whole bunch of them out there for Kim's.
May I? Uh, Mrs.
Kim is watch Shakira video.
- Mmm-hmm.
- [KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
Here we go.
- Kim's Convenience.
- I not do this.
Wow! Four stars.
"Love this place.
Great prices on the Cherry Sours.
And that Mr.
Kim is a real cutie pie.
" - "Cutie pie"? - Uh-oh.
Clear history, wink-wink.
Oh! Oh! I think really did clear your history.
[GASPS.]
"He's even sweeter than the treat.
" Bernice used to say things like that.
Not about me, but No, I had a run of five cards, so, that's five points.
Maybe.
I don't get this game.
- I thought you taught her.
- He did.
- Yeah, that's why she doesn't get it.
- Oh, my God, is that the time? Got to bail.
Early morning.
See ya.
- Text me when you get home.
- Ha-ha.
[DOOR SHUTS.]
- I thought she was going home.
- She is, hopefully.
I need a break from spooning.
She's a little spoon - This is the fifth time this week.
- I know.
She can't keep staying here.
She doesn't pay for rent.
Water, heater, hydro If you could keep it down, that'd be great.
We'll just pretend like we didn't hear her.
- Guys, did you hear me? - Yes.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO.]
So, uh, did Shannon mention what you'd be doing when you came back? No, I just figured, you know? Keep it profesh.
But, hey, you're assistant manager, I get it.
And I couldn't be happier that you're back.
- Yeah.
Jung-Chee re-united! - [KIMCHEE.]
Yeah, baby.
Okay, see you there.
We're still a block away.
Yeah, but I don't want to be seen giving you special treatment.
It could undermine my authority.
I talked to you all the time when I was assistant manager.
Yeah, and it really undermined your authority.
- You seriously want me to get out? - This is my "me time.
" Things get real.
We're close, but trust me, you don't want to see "block-away Kimchee.
" Fine.
- [ENGINE REVVING.]
- [TIRES SCREECHING.]
Crazy online review of a store, huh? Guess, uh, some people must really like store owner.
Me.
I'll, uh, leave you to your fans, Mr.
Kim.
- Thank you, Fatima.
- [CASH REGISTER DINGS.]
- [MRS.
KIM.]
Hmm.
- Huh? - Oh, no, hope you don't get jealous.
- Why? They is crazy or ugly.
- Why you say like that? - Because everyone who write online is crazy or ugly.
Beside, you is not a cutie pie.
- You is more like, uh, bread.
- Bread? Yeah, big, round, crusty loaf.
And not everyone want a cutie pie.
Some people want rough, old teddy bear.
One eye already missing, arm falling off, but they don't care.
They like all the stain or smell.
[SNIFFS.]
Mmm.
Yobo, you need to moisturize, hmm? - [DOOR OPENS.]
- And, this is where the magic happens.
You don't have to say that for every room.
- Stacey, Omar, this is Jung.
- Hey.
Hey.
- Oh, and there's Kimchee.
- Yeah, we've met.
Yeah, but he's different now.
- [WHISPERS.]
Drunk with power.
- Hey, guys, looking good.
[WHISPERS.]
See? - Well, welcome to Handy.
- Oh, I used to work here.
It's actually really funny story Well, we should probably get back to it.
- Can you clean the Elantra? - And you might want to put this on.
I can hold up a towel while you change.
- Huh.
- Am I using your mug? Oh, no, it's fine.
I'll just use one of Gerald's mom's creations.
It's just Gerald said you think I hang around too much.
No, I was just We were talking about rent.
And I said something about three people taking more showers than two people.
I don't even know if that's true.
- It makes sense.
- I mean, I love having you around.
It's just not as economically feasible.
- I totally get it.
- Great.
[CHUCKLES.]
There.
Just sent you an e-transfer for the expenses.
[PHONE BUZZES.]
- Wow.
- Let me know if you need more.
You can use the whole couch if you want.
[MR.
KIM.]
Mrs.
Kim say I not a cutie pie.
- I agree - Wha With you.
Definite cutie pie.
- Yeah.
- I've seen this story 1,000 times.
It starts with casual flirtation and ends with Mr.
Kim chopped up in a pot of soup.
Huh? Why I in a pot of soup? How would I know? I'm not inside the mind of a lunatic.
I know! I offer her big discount on Cherry Sours next time she visit.
One order of catfish coming up.
I just offer discount for such a positive review, huh? And prove to Mrs.
Kim I'm cutie pie.
The real crime would be not responding To a murder, which is an actual crime.
- [NOTIFICATION POPS.]
- I post.
I'm impressed.
I don't think I could have done it.
I'll be sure your ashes are spread evenly around the store.
What? No big deal.
Yeah.
- Review woman probably never even see.
huh? - [NOTIFICATION PINGS.]
- Oh, she see.
- And? - Kissy face.
- [GASPS.]
- Got new scratch and win.
- [MR.
KIM CLEARS THROAT.]
The weather.
My God! It's everywhere.
- Oh, my.
- Weird, right? No tie? - Is that a men's? [CHUCKLES.]
- Ha-ha! Good one.
I just wanted to check in, you know, early days, touch base.
How are you Fitting in? Everyone is so nice.
Stace, the O-man, although, I am still trying to figure out the whole power dynamics since the merge.
Ugh.
You and me, both.
- 'Cause I used to be, like, up here.
- Mmm-hmm.
So, if you're like up here, and Kimchee is here, then am I Here? Like, here.
- Okay, so, like, here? - Here.
So, here.
Did you just lower your chair? - Did I? - Oh, hey.
- I didn't know we were meeting.
- Oh, not a meeting.
Charlie and I were just I'm sorry, what were we talking about? - Just checking in with the Shanster.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, hey, well, if there's anything you need, you can always run it by me first.
- Probably a good call.
- [JUNG.]
Absolutely.
Just We have a short hand.
Yeah, well, we got a short-hand and you and I have a short-hand, so, it's like a shorter short-hand.
And I actually have long hands.
My dad used to call them piano fingers.
[LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY.]
Hey, why don't we, uh, get you back to the garage? Yep, anything I can do to help the team.
Hey, maybe, get you a bigger shirt? That would be helpful.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
[THUDDING.]
Just use the stairs like a normie, Gerald.
[PANTING.]
Oh, are you going somewhere? Yeah, here.
- [CHELSEA.]
Hi.
- [GERALD.]
Oh, hey.
[GERALD.]
What's all this stuff? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Uh Uh - What's going on? I think she's moving in.
I just need some air.
Is there any air in here? - Why is this happening? - I have no idea.
Why didn't we think of this before? When did we think of this? My parents are so psyched to get rid of me.
- Isn't this great? - Is it? Unless I totally misread something and you want me to go.
- No, no.
- No, of course, not.
- [GERALD.]
Yeah.
- Thank God.
Because I'm crazy about this guy.
And I did send you that money, which you accepted, like, right away.
- [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
- [GIGGLES.]
[JANET CHUCKLES.]
Why did you take her money? Because she was living with us for free.
- I don't want to live with a girl.
- You lived with me.
- You don't count.
- Thanks.
Now breaking up with her is going to be impossible.
- I didn't know you were trying.
- I am! I think.
I'm not like you, you know.
I'm just not that good at What? Telling people what they don't want to hear.
- You're being weak.
- I know.
See? You're good at this.
You should do it.
No! I'm not breaking up with Chelsea for you.
Even though I would have done it really well.
Hey, did you move the rag bin? Uh, yeah, I thought it made more sense over there.
I like it.
- Hey, what's going on? - I fixed the rag bin.
Wait, the rag bin's broken? No, just made more sense there.
Terence, did you take the key to the woman's washroom again? It's clean in there.
We have keys for the washrooms? Shouldn't they just be unlocked? - Yeah.
- Okay, that's terrifying.
- I agree with Jung.
- Yo.
Where's the rag bin? God, Stacie! Keep up.
And why is the lunch room so far from the garage? It is far.
That's a good point, Omar.
You know what? I'm going to write some of this down.
One bag.
All fit, hmm? [CHUCKLES.]
Okay, see you.
[SHOP DOOR BELL DINGING.]
I believe I was promised a discount.
You write online review for store? Guilty.
I'm Lisa.
Oh.
You is not crazy or ugly.
I mean, you the normal.
Not normal.
Very pretty.
I don't know.
I only see customer.
Nothing else.
Aw! You really are a cutie pie.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
- Here is what you're looking for.
- Oh, no.
- I don't want that.
- Shh! - [CASH REGISTER PING.]
- [LISA.]
Well, thank you for the discount.
Pay less now, pay for dentist later.
- [LISA.]
Oh, you're terrible.
- [EXCLAIMS, LAUGHS.]
Oh, that's very good questions.
Oh, I haven't asked it yet.
- It's actually about - Shh! - [MR.
KIM.]
Okay, see you.
- Take care.
[DOOR BELL DINGS.]
Yobo, you see? All I see is you making fool of yourself.
So, you do see.
She only flirting with you to get a discount.
Yeah, that's what happened, uh? Big conspiracy.
Candy Bandit strike again.
Ugh, fine.
Don't listen to me.
Just trying to protect you.
Protect me from Candy Bandit compliment? She probably laughing at you right now.
Be careful! If you leave a cutie pie on a window sill, someone might steal.
Did I hear Cherry Sours on special? Not for you.
- Whoa.
- The chair won't go up.
I found a wrench but I can also get you a booster seat.
Hey, I was just looking for ya.
In Shannon's office? - Well, you're here, aren't you? - [SHANNON.]
About that, Kimchee and I were talking and we think it'd be best if we all respect the new chain of command.
- Absolutely.
I just want - I.
, la, la, la, la Sorry, kidding.
But you should tell it to Kimchee.
- Sure.
- Pretend I'm not even here.
What's up, man? Well, it's probably nothing, but I couldn't help but notice a bit of a divide between management and the workers.
Really? Sorry, not listening.
Anyway, they've brought a number of issues to my attention.
You've been here a day.
Anyway, I made a list of concerns, suggestions.
"Shorten hallway to lunchroom.
" Yeah, I could probably work with them on that.
The important part is all of this could be easily managed with the right point-person in the back.
Well, that's not a bad idea.
And I'll be honest.
It's been really hard since they merge.
We're all taking more work home, and you try to stay positive but cats figure it out.
I just think that we could all benefit from, I don't know, a back manager.
Strong suggestion, bro.
Hey, I'm just trying to help.
And I'll see what we can do about getting you some butter pants.
- Oh, um, better pens.
- Oh.
The apartment, right? It isn't that big of a place.
Uh-huh.
And Janet and I have a tonne of school work to do.
- And there's the kitchen and cooking.
- I love cooking.
[SIGHS.]
I know.
Um, it just might be unfair to Janet to have a third roommate.
It's a lot for her and other people.
- I get it.
- Oh, great.
Great.
Okay.
Oh, hey, I didn't realize you guys are here.
I'll just come back later.
[CHELSEA.]
No, stay.
Gerald and I were just talking and I agree with him.
You do? So, we're gonna find a place of our own.
- What? - No.
I don't think that that's what I was saying.
Oh, are you saying Janet should move out? That doesn't seem fair.
I think what Gerald is trying to say is you were super generous with the rent money.
Oh, and I got us HBO.
Just a sec, I've got cupcakes in the oven.
It's just that we're always in each other's space when it's so small.
And it could be bigger if one of us were to leave.
- Do you want to leave, Gerald? - Not by myself.
So you do want to get a place together? Is this a subscription to Elle? I got us The New Yorker too.
Oh, my God, you went to The Big Carrot.
Look, I just think there's one scenario that we haven't considered yet.
I just don't want to leave Janet in the lurch.
Mmm, no, me neither.
Moving out is so hard and finding other people to live with is a whole other story.
There are a lot of weirdos out there.
Maybe, we just stay like this for now.
- [WHISPERING.]
What are you doing? - These are really good.
[GASPS.]
We are gonna get so fat.
Again, sorry for the delay.
- Getting used to the route.
- Some thing are worth the wait.
- That's very kind.
- She mean box of chip.
Oh, just don't listen to him.
He's just my brother.
My grumpy, older brother.
- Okay, that's enough.
- I'm Carl, by the way.
- Yong-mi.
- Mrs.
Kim.
Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other.
- Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
- I meant with the deliveries.
- Okay, thank you.
Bye.
- Oh, Carl.
This box is little bit damaged.
Is there anything you can do? Guess I could take 15% off.
That's okay! We pay full price.
- You do that for me? [GIGGLES.]
- Sure.
Hmm.
Here's your invoice.
That's our number and, uh, that is my number.
Yobo? If you ever want to get a coffee or somethin - Oh, no.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought I picked up on some I just got out of a relationship.
It is so hard putting yourself back out there.
Oh, no, no.
You're not wrong.
I give you signal.
Oh, oh, okay.
Well, do you like barbecue - because I know this great place - No.
Right.
I'm going to go now.
- It goes in recycling.
- It's garbage.
It still goes in recycling.
Is there an issue here? I guess we should take it up with the "back manager.
" - So, what's up? - Terence.
Is this garbage or recycling? - Um, recycling.
- Damn.
I guess he is helpful.
- Dude, you made Terence back manager? - Yeah, great idea, man.
- Seriously, Terence? - Since you left, he's got seniority.
And he's very dedicated.
[TERENCE.]
No, Mom, I didn't get fired.
Why do you always think that? Sorry, dude.
I know it sucks.
[SIGHS.]
It's okay.
Meet you at the corner? Forget the corner.
You ride with me the whole way.
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah, but slouch, so I look taller.
[SIGHS.]
[GASPS.]
- Oh.
- [MAN.]
Hello.
[GASPS.]
You leave me in store alone for so long time.
Why you worried? Just call hot potato Carl! Well, you online dating with candy Lisa girl.
You call me one-eyed teddy bear.
- Say I you ugly brother.
- I never say ugly.
- I say older.
- Ah, same thing.
Yobo? I think you is handsome.
And sweet.
Then why you say those other thing? Because I don't like how candy woman is calling you cutie pie.
And how she looking at you.
- How she looking at me? - Like you is a great, big Cherry Sour on discount.
And how you looking at me? Like you is my favorite thing.
You is like a special dish.
Hidden on back of menu, way down at bottom.
Only I order, no one else like it.
Tastes funny.
People complain to manager.
- Almost take off menu because - Okay, okay.
You really don't know how to talk to people.
- You the lucky you the married to me.
- I know.
Oh.
So strong.
Like rhinoceros.
[IMITATES RHINOCEROS.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Hi.
Do you have cinnamon? I mean, she's funny.
She likes pizza.
You like pizza.
This is good for you.
Hey, roomies.
I got my name on the lease, - so everything's official.
- Oh.
Okay.
And I can't believe you didn't have renter's insurance.
- So, I got us that, too.
- Great, thanks.
That's really involved.
No problem.
I'll just add it to the receipts.
- I'm sorry, those are - Organic groceries, HBO, magazine subscriptions, air purifier.
Oh! - My Aveda shampoo Janet likes.
- I only used it once.
We'll split it three ways.
You can just e-transfer me whenever you like.
- I'm getting another cupcake.
- Get 'em all.
What's a problem? I give you review.
You reviewed me as a customer for your store.
- Yeah.
- Not a very good one at that.
- Though it is fair.
- Excuse me, do you have Cherry Sours? Oh, I guess we just found your secret admirer.
- Wait, no.
- Madam.
- He's married.
- She just want the candy.
Don't we all.
Hi, there.
I'm Frank.