Lip Sync Battle (2015) s03e02 Episode Script

1 (rock music playing) Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good Everybody says It's just like Robin Hood Well, it's plain to see You were meant for me, yeah I'm your boy Your 20th century toy (thuds) - (feedback) - (cheering) Chrissy: He's the lyric-dropping, rhyme-fighting, lip-sync-hosting man you love.
Everyone give it up for LL Cool J! Hands in the air! Hands in the air! Lemme hear you say, "Yeah!" - Crowd: Yeah! - Say, "Hell yeah!" - Crowd: Hell yeah! - Now scream! (crowd screaming) Welcome to Lip Sync Battle! (cheering) Now, this is the show where your favorite stars go against each other in a battle for lip sync supremacy.
- You know what I'm saying? - (cheering) Now, tonight's show promises to be nothing but pure entertainment, complete and total epicness.
But, before that, it's time to bring out our color commentator with flavor, the insightful, the oh so delightful - Chrissy Teigen.
- (cheering) (hip-hop music plays) Woo! Let me tie 'em up! Let me tie 'em up! Hi, everybody.
(LL laughs) - I mean really? - Really.
Miss Legendary Teigen, like, seriously? - These are my-- my lip-sync boots.
- Ooh.
- (laughs) - Only for tonight.
- Oh, and we love it.
- Only for tonight.
So, Chrissy, how do you see this shaking out tonight? We have two of my favorite actresses, actually, who are about to get very political.
- Ooh.
- And you know me, I likes me some politics.
(crowd whooping) So, something's gonna happen tonight.
Absolutely.
You ready to rock it? - You really ready to rock it? Okay.
- Let's do this.
I'm out.
All right, it's a reunion of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
(dramatic music plays) She's one of the stars of that classic film.
You loved her as Ugly Betty-- She's far from ugly.
Now she runs a band of crazies on NBC's Superstore.
Make some noise for America Ferrera! (crowd cheering) Woo! (whooping) And we loved her in Joan of Arcadia, she scared the hell out of us in The Ring, and, ladies, she pulled your heart strings while the guys rode shotgun on the couch in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
- Amber Tamblyn! - (cheering) - Woo! - Welcome.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- (women laugh) - Amber, you're in the VIP.
- America, come on over.
You get first crack at it.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Woo! So you're fresh off the campaign trail.
- That's right.
- That's right.
- I'm with her.
You know.
- (cheering) - Woo! - LL: That's it.
And since you're with her, what song are you coming out of the gate with? - Well, first I need something Chrissy has for me.
- Chrissy: Oh.
- There you go.
- Ooh! - Nice catch under pressure.
- This might give you a clue, - another bad-ass bitch.
Biatch! - (Chrissy laughs) - (LL chuckles) Oh yes.
- I'm doing a Missy Elliott song.
- Oh! - LL: Missy Elliott.
Ladies and Gentlemen, America Ferrera! (cheering) - (indistinct chatter) - (Gossip Folks playing) Man: Yo, yo, we got Missy Elliott coming through.
- I can't stand the -- no way.
- Missy: Oh, oh When I walk up in the piece I ain't gotta even speak I'm a bad mamajama, goddammit, ya'll people ain't got it like me How you studying these clothes, need to talk what you know And stop talking 'bout who I'm sticking and licking, just mad it ain't yours I know ya'll poor, ya'll broke Ya'll job just hanging up clothes Step to me, get burnt like toast Ya'll suckers, adios, amigos Halves, halves, wholes, wholes I don't brag, I mostly boast From the VA to the LA coast Iffy, kiffy, Izzy, oh Man: Once upon a time in College Park Where they live life fast and they scared of dark There was a little -- By the name of Cris Nobody paid him any mind, no one gave a -- Knowing he could rap, no one lifted a hand So he went about his business and devised a plan Made a CD and then he hit the block 50 thousand sold, seven dollars a pop Hold the phone, uhn, three years later Steeped out the swamp with ten and a half gators All around the world on the microphone Leaving the booth smelling like Burberry cologne Get up on my lap and get my head sucked tight Sprayed so I never let the bed bugs bite Hard to the core, core to the right Drop down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton, hyah! Man: Musi ques, I sews on bews, I pues, a twos on Que zat - Child: Pue zoo.
- Man: My kizzer.
- Pous zigga ay zee.
- I love it! I love it! - Man: It's all kizza.
- Child: It's always like.
- Man: It's all kizza.
- Child: It's always like.
Na zound.
Wa zee.
Wa zoom zoom zee.
Missy: What's up fools? You think I ain't knowin' ya'll broke Milli Vanilli Jay Jay fan wannabes ain't over here gossiping bout me? Yo, how bout you buff these Pumas for 20 cents so your lights won't get cut off? You soggy breasts, cow stomachs.
Yo, take those Baby Gap shirts off, too.
You just mad 'cuz Payless ran out of plastic pumps for the after party.
Yo, by the way, go get my album.
- Child: Damn.
- (thuds, feedback) (cheering) This is the best audience, ever.
- Chrissy! - Dude! Do you gossip? Did you feel-- first of all, - did you feel that energy? - Oh, I felt that energy.
You dropped the Mic, you picked it up.
- (laughter) - That's adorable! Well, I don't wanna be rude.
I just-- you know, we're just here for a good time.
Degree of difficulty on that song is very high.
I don't know if you guys know the words, but that is a very impossible song to do.
- You di-- you killed that.
- (cheering) Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Why that song? - Like, tell me why that song.
- That-- this performance has been 15 years in the making, so - And it worked.
It worked.
- I hope it worked.
Did it work? - (cheering) - LL: It definitely worked.
All right, America, you have a seat in the VIP.
- Amber, come on over.
- (cheering) - Yeah.
- Oh boy.
- Wow.
Wow.
- Yeah.
How you coming with it tonight? What you doing? You know, I felt, like, in honor of this particular type of episode, and that I'm doing it with one of my absolutely best friends in the whole wide world, - umm may I have you? - LL: Oh.
Oh.
- Oh, isn't this sweet? - So, this is a song for friendship and love.
(laughter) This is also our Saturday nights most of the time.
That is very sweet.
That is very, very sweet.
At a time when the world needs good vibes, you gonna give some good vibes.
- Yes.
Exactly, so friendship song.
- Oh, okay.
A little screen, nice.
Ladies and gentlemen, Amber Tamblyn! (cheering) I want you to know That I'm happy for you I wish nothing but The best for you both An older version of me Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother 'Cause the love that you gave that we made Wasn't able to make it enough for you To be open wide, no! And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me You'd hold me until you died? 'Til you died, but you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair, to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know! (cheering) (laughing) - Woo! - Yeah! America, you might need a minute.
You know.
Have a little spa day over there in the VIP for a second.
That was pretty good.
Chrissy, was it awkward? - Was anything awkward about it? - My family is here.
(Laughs) - Nice.
- What are we doing? - Nice.
- It was so good.
The passion.
I felt every word.
Amber, you feeling better? You got that off your chest? - You feel amazing right now? - Yes, I got to tell her how I really feel.
- (sighs) - LL: That was-- That was kinda hot.
- That was so cute.
- What did you feel about that? You know, for a long time, Amber and I have shared a lot of things.
- LL: Right.
- I have a-- - Those are sacred.
Why are you-- - I have a special pair of-- for Amber today that perfectly explains how I feel about that performance, - LL: Okay.
- Amber: Oh.
- Oh! - (laughter) Well, Amber, you go on over to America, hug it out a little bit, figure it out.
Round one is done, and the ladies showed they have no problem taking the gloves off.
As they said, it's on! Round two should be one for the books as the performances get bigger and better.
It's all right here! This is Lip Sync Battle! And I'm here, to-- My mom just texted me: "Come say hello.
" I'm like-- I'm-- I'm working! I can't say hello.
Hi! (Chrissy laughing) "Come say hello.
" It's Lip Sync Battle! Amber and America put the world on notice as they try to show each other who wears the pants around here.
Now it's round two, where they take it to the extreme.
Let's see how America got ready to bring some legit heat to the stage.
(cheering) (rock music playing) - Welcome! - Hi! Thank you.
(people chattering) - So, you ready? - I mean, I guess.
America: Get out of my dressing room.
Amber: Security! Security! - (yelps) - America: Get out, Amber! You're going down! (people cheering) You guys will start this together, and then (cheering) Ah! Woo! Fine, thank you.
Ma'am? Good luck to you.
I just wanted to remind you that I was at your wedding and I gave a good speech.
I just want to remind you that I was at your wedding, and you didn't ask me to speak! You spoke at my rehearsal dinner.
Is that what this is about? So sad.
- Woo! - These cameras will be here.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- So, I can, like, go in to the cameras or something.
(LL vocalizing tune) (cheering) I feel like I need some wind right now.
- You know I love you, girl - LL: You guys feeling good out there? But I'm about to bring it.
Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga I know you can't control yourself any longer Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger Don't you fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga beat All right, all right, all right.
Everybody gather 'round now Let your body feel the heat Don't you worry if you can't dance Let the music move your feet It's the rhythm of the island And like sugar cane, so sweet If you want to do the conga, you've got to listen to the beat Woo! Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga I know you can't control yourself any longer Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger Don't you fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga beat Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga (cheering) That's the spirit! All right.
Yo, Chrissy.
No, that's okay.
Chrissy, I see you, and you got y-- You got-- you got your conga vibe over there? Your Cuban vibe? Who knew you had all those moves in you? If you don't move when you hear that song, you don't-- you're not human.
That's the closest I might ever come to being a rock star.
(laughs) That was-- was really dope.
So, Amber, I know you're the competition, but did that make you want to dance a little bit? Did you feel that? LL, I ain't worried 'bout nothing.
- LL, I ain't worried 'bout nothing.
- Oh, okay.
- Ooh-ooh.
- Okay, I see you.
So, America Estefan, you-- you go over there and have a seat and, uh, you know.
Got the "Suck it" pants.
America brought the Conga vibe to LSB, but can Amber take the energy to a whole nother level? You don't want to miss it! Coming up next on Lip Sync Battle.
Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga I know you can't control yourself It's LSB, and round two is on fire as America and Amber are going at it.
Last round, Amber went in on her bestie.
This is a real battle.
It's getting personal.
Now, before she hits the stage, let's take a look at how Amber planned her show-stopping performance.
Holy (bleep).
I'm gonna meet LL Cool J.
- (rock music playing) - (people chattering) - Okay, guys! - Amber: I love you guys.
You're amazing.
- Are you ready for this? - I feel like I'm just gonna get my leg, - and just like - Yes.
all horrible physical contact.
Take her hand, make her touch me.
- (laughs) - Like, awful stuff.
Hello, ladies.
I thought for the first thing, just this.
- If you wanna fix everything that I've ruined about my face.
- Yes.
(cheering) Hey, Peter, nice to meet you.
- Light's gonna be in your right hand.
- Got it.
And then it's gonna be-- This is your eyeline.
- (cameras clicking rapidly) - Woo! (Applause) America, I'm coming for you! (cheers, applause) No! Do not.
Don't.
Don't.
(laughter) Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Woman: Wherever you want.
You can put the chair wherever you want.
I thought the farther downstage, the better.
- (cheering) - More smoke, more smoke.
- (laughs) - That's awesome.
It was perfect.
Man: Here we go, guys.
See that? That's a winner.
Okay? That's a winner.
Woman: Here we go.
- Can I have the floor, please? - (cheering) (indistinct radio chatter) Tick-tock, ya, don't stop To the tick-tock, ya, don't stop - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - To the tick-tock, ya, don't stop The tick-tock, ya, don't stop To the tick-tock, ya, don't stop To the tick-tock, ya, don't stop Come inside, take off your coat I'll make you feel at home - Now let's pour a glass of wine - (LL laughing) 'Cause now we're all alone I've been waiting all night - So just let me hold you close to me - LL: Yo! This is outta control.
'Cause I've been dying for you, girl, to make love to me Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Girl, you make me feel real good - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - We can do it till we both wake up Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Girl, you know I'm hooked on you And this is what I'll do - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - Damn! I wanna sex you up All night You make me feel good I wanna rub you down I wanna sex you up Make sweet lovin' all night long I wanna sex you up Feels so right, it can't be wrong Don't be shy, girl, rescue me I wanna sex you up Open up your heart and I'll set you free Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh I wanna sex you up Tick-tock, ya, don't stop (cheering) (LL chuckles) Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
- America: Wow.
- You built a wall? - Amber: Chrissy built a wall.
I don't know what I did.
It's so bad.
Take it down, America! Take it down! - Oh my god.
You look so good! - Chrissy, did-- Did Amber win your vote? Did she win your vote? That you-- no, not y-- Not Trump.
Not as Trump.
(laughter) But yes, you absolutely killed that.
This was just, by the way, symbolic of the wall I would build around myself if Donald Trump won.
(laughter) I love you more today than I've ever loved you before.
I don't even know what to say.
(laughs) Well, Amber, you can go on over to the VIP - and have a seat.
- Okay.
- LL: That was just - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - Chrissy: Woo! - Round two is officially closed.
The voting is about to begin.
Who gets elected as the next champ? Find out next.
It's LSB! - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - I wanna sex you up (audience cheering) Where you at? Right here! Right here! Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle, where Amber Tamblyn and America Ferrera threw some crazy big blows, but both of them are still standing.
Now it's time to crown a Lip Sync Battle champion.
- Chrissy, let's do it.
- Right.
Is the champ Amber Tamblyn? (cheering) Or is it America Ferrera? (cheering loudly) And the Lip Sync Battle champion is America Ferrera! (indistinct chatter) America.
America.
America - How's it feel to be the champ? - Oh! Amazing.
- This means I'm president, right? - (laughter) It means you're the president, baby.
But it also feels amazing to, well, be up here with one of my best friends, so (cheers, applause) Mrs.
Trump, it was a tough call tonight, but you should be proud of what you did.
How do you feel about it? I had so much fun, and she definitely deserves that belt, because she looks so banging in that dress and those dance moves were amazing.
Amazing.
A big thanks to America and Amber for being down with the Lip Sync crew tonight.
And to our fans around the world-- Stay loud and proud.
One love from me, LL Cool J, and my girl, Chrissy Teigen.
And remember, no matter what happens in life, no matter who you vote for, just remember, knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L.
Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga I know you can't control yourself any longer Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger Don't you fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga beat