Mad Men s03e02 Episode Script

Is there more? I love her.
I saw Susan Watson do it on Broadway, and she was great, - but she didn't have that.
- Well, it's not going to be her, but they want that scene "frame for frame," as they say.
So, something about how desperate she is for a Pepsi? It's for Pepsi, but it's not for Pepsi.
It's called Patio, and it's a dieter's kind of Pepsi to help women reduce.
It's Pepsi's diet-right cola, and there's claims that their lawyers went over calories, etcetera.
If we do it right, we land Patio.
And if we land Patio, I'll be at lunch with Pepsi.
- I think Pete Campbell just broke a sweat.
- I'm coming to casting.
- We're going right to casting? - You don't have to if you don't want to.
I understand why you like this, but it's not for you.
- I'm the one who'd be buying Patio.
- You're not fat anymore.
Thank you.
Let's assume we can't talk them out of the name, and let's assume we can get a girl who can match Ann-Margret's ability - to be 25 and act 14.
- Is that what she's doing? Is it just a knockoff? Are we allowed to make fun of it, at least? - She's fun and sexy.
Don't be a prude.
- Would you say that to me? - It's sexy, and it's what they want.
- Clients don't always know what's best.
When we land them, you can start talking to them that way.
Pick it up.
Bobby, back away from the stove.
We're out of Melba Toast.
Jesus, Betts, have some oatmeal.
That baby's gonna weigh a pound.
Carla must have had some, because I would have thrown the box away.
Are we gonna collect the whole set? I thought you didn't mind her doing the legwork.
You didn't need a decorator last time.
I'd like to feel like I'm paying for something.
- These are $3 apiece, you know.
- And I can't really judge by a picture.
I'm late.
We should really spend a day in Tarrytown.
It'd be so easy.
- No.
- Those stores smell bad.
We are going to Tarrytown.
And you're gonna stare at some antique chair for so long the buttons are gonna seem interesting, and then we'll go to Carvel.
See you tonight.
What are you doing? I hope you received the package showing our campaign to ease the way for the Ravenswood nuclear power facility.
Kinsey was responsible for that.
Almost a year, and nary a peep of opposition.
It was very impressive.
I've told Paul that you're facing an onslaught of negative public opinion in your attempt to demolish the Pennsylvania Railroad Station this year and replace it with the new Madison Square Garden.
We should have torn the damn thing down during the newspaper strike.
No one would have noticed.
Now, let's take a look at the landscape, as it were.
"How to kill a city.
Architects' inhumanity to architects "surpasses understanding.
The new design is also ambitious, "pedestrian and dull.
" Ada Louise Huxtable is as green as that folder.
People know that she's an angry woman with a big mouth.
Who writes for The New York Times.
I don't care if she wrote for the Ten Commandments.
She's trying to sell papers doing what they always do.
Making people miserable.
My great-great-grandfather, Silus Dikeman, would have turned his boat around if he had known that this city would one day be filled with crybabies.
So what's your best weapon against lunatics? Fifteen stories, vaulted ceilings, pink Milford granite columns.
I don't think it's crazy to be attached to a beaux-arts masterpiece through which Teddy Roosevelt came and went.
I've met the opposition.
I know crazy.
Do you know where the greatest Roman ruins are? They're in Greece, Spain, because the Romans tore theirs all down.
They took apart the Colosseum to build their outhouses.
This is the Colosseum.
Have you seen the plans? In The New York Times.
- Do you have a problem, buddy? - He's looking for an angle.
You know those snide ad men you see in the movies? Right here.
Well, I've got a mailbox full of death threats from beatniks like him who'd rather live in a teepee.
This is the greatest city in the world.
If you don't like it, leave.
Well, we'll let you know.
You have no problems with an atom plant on the East River, - but this bothers you? - It's Penn Station.
This city has no memory.
Out with the old, in with the new.
Who says that's a good idea? I'm going to have to talk to Don about this.
Don't do that.
Look, now they'll trust me more when I help them.
Do you ever listen to yourself? I hate you, you know that.
Other than Wilma Flintstone, I haven't seen anyone carry so well.
It's smoke and mirrors.
I've busted plenty of seams.
Well, it makes me optimistic.
Greg has made it perfectly clear that come July 1 and he's chief resident, I'd better watch out.
- Hello, Mrs.
Draper.
- Can you get Mrs.
Draper a glass of water? Why don't you tell me first how long I'm going to be here? What's so urgent? London Bridge falling down? In a manner of speaking.
- I appreciate you stopping by.
- Didn't you just call us into your office? Well, yes.
I thought it best if I told you in person.
I just heard from London.
We've been sacked by Campbell Soup, Great Britain.
I don't want to have to walk down here every time we lose an account.
This is an advertising agency.
I'll wear out the carpet.
It's not so much the account we lost as the account we failed to gain.
- So now BBDO has all of Campbell's Soup? - Why didn't we have a meeting with them? Perhaps I should drag Burt Peterson in and fire him again? - Obviously Don would've loved a shot.
- How did this slip through the cracks? I don't usually set meetings, I attend them.
Well, if this is where we wanted to end up, we all did everything perfectly.
You ever get three sheets to the wind and try that thing on? Mrs.
Pryce is here.
Nothing to fret about, as long as there's new business.
Five minutes? - It's definitely side to side.
- Is that a boy or a girl? I'll call my mother.
Look.
Princess Grace just swallowed a basketball.
- How are you, Roger? - It's not hard to adjust to happiness.
Shall we? Good night, Mrs.
Harris.
I'm in a foul mood.
Château Lafite Rothschild, '49.
I'm very impressed that you have this.
Not bad at that.
- Where are you living? - We have a furnished flat in Sutton Place.
Three bedrooms, spectacular view of the river.
And we're near the UN, so there's plenty of Africans.
Like the Bordeaux grape, may we all get better with time.
This is delicious.
Rebecca was curious if you knew anything about schools.
In the city, I'm a little out of touch.
How long have you been together? - Ten years.
- Nine years.
Fifteen for us.
- Do you miss London? - God, yes.
But what we lost in London we gained in insects.
J.
Walter Thompson is opening an office in Caracas.
I don't know if the ladies want to talk about that.
No, of course not.
The coquilles.
Brilliant.
Look, I didn't want to be there any more than you did.
It was just the cherry on top of my sundae.
What? Tell me now, and not three seconds after I've dozed off.
I've been trying to get my father on the phone.
Of course I called William and, again, something's wrong.
Another stroke? - Gloria left him.
- Can you blame her? Yes, I can blame her.
She came into his life, he suddenly takes ill and she abandons him.
Maybe she realized he's a son of a bitch.
Don, I'm worried about him.
He doesn't sound right, and I can't take a car trip now.
I think William and Judy should bring him up this weekend.
- Great, more antiques.
- It's spring break.
It'll be nice for the kids.
- Those girls are a nightmare.
- They'll leave by Saturday at the latest.
Why did you even bother asking me? She's really kicking.
- Mr.
Sterling, your family is here.
- Send them in.
If it isn't fall bride.
- Where's Brooks? - He'll be along.
- Would anyone like anything? Coffee or - It's 10:30.
Sherry, if you have it.
I told Brooks to come late.
I don't want him to be embarrassed.
By what? That I'm paying for everything? You just tell him that's the way it's done.
No, Roger, it's about Jane.
What about her? It was her idea to take you to Dior.
Why haven't you returned her calls? You're hurting her feelings.
I know what you think.
You think it's so uncomfortable that I won't even bring it up.
Well, you're being very dramatic for a girl who didn't want a wedding at all.
Do you want me to say it? Do I have to say it? Say what, exactly? I've suggested to Margaret a compromise.
You and June host your own table, - and I'll be at the Hargroves'.
- So, you get the in-laws and I get Siberia? Are you worried about an odd number? Because I'll get your mother a date.
- I have a date.
- Who? - Bruce Pike.
- What does that old saddlebag want? I didn't want to go to her wedding, but I did.
- The least she can do is not come to mine.
- Not come? - That's why I suggested a compromise.
- You're not even giving Jane a chance.
Seeing her on my wedding day is gonna ruin it.
She's young enough to be my sister.
How does it look? - Sweetheart.
- Brooks! Thank God.
Mom.
- How are you, sir? - Not great, Brooks.
Not great.
Can I get you something? - No.
- That's okay.
I'll have yours.
- Roger.
- We're not married anymore, you know.
I like the silver and the bells.
Go with the bells.
November 23rd.
I'll tell Jane.
Mr.
Pryce is here to see you.
Send him in.
Your wife is charming.
- She lifted Rebecca's spirits inestimably.
- I'm glad to hear it.
They really hit it off.
I hate to send you into the lion's den, but I think it best you take the gentleman from Madison Square Garden to a nice lunch today.
Peter and Paul rubbed him very much the wrong way.
- I told you before, Roger's the lion tamer.
- Roger will join as well.
It will help if you tell me who these people are.
All I could secure was Edgar Raffit, vice president of Madison Square Garden, and he's irate.
What does he want? A Cyrano de Bergerac to make New York fall in love with him.
- Today? - Do you have plans? Have Campbell send over the folder.
They're wild Indians.
They've been cooped up since Woodbridge.
I fixed some lunch.
- Cold roast chicken, or I have cold cuts.
- We went to Pat's Steaks.
I got you a half.
- Have you all already eaten? - No, we waited.
- I even got Gloria a chicken parmesan.
- Well, great.
We'll mail it to her.
She's in Boca Raton.
She's not coming back.
He understands completely.
He's just playing it up.
- How was the drive, Daddy? - In the Lincoln? You should take your Coumadin with your sandwich.
So I said to them, "It's so crowded in here, I feel like I'm on the subway.
" I've never seen anyone like you on the train.
Well, my husband won't let me.
It's a figure of speech.
Have a seat, and I'll let Mr.
Pryce know that you're here.
Sorry about that.
I got tied up.
What else do you have to do today? What else do you have to do all week? I barely made it here.
Ginger presses the buzzer, says, "Your family's here.
" Sounded silly.
Gibson, up.
That's gonna help.
To my knees, Don.
They're bringing me to my knees.
- Sorry to hear that.
- I made my bed, I should lie in it, right? Your words, not mine.
Like it's not hard enough losing my little girl to that kid.
I've got her mother pouring poison in her ear.
There's a land grab going on.
I blame Mona.
All of a sudden, I could give two craps about that wedding.
- All I want to do is win.
- Gentlemen.
- A pleasure to meet you.
Roger Sterling.
- Edgar Raffit.
- Our creative director Don Draper.
- Edgar.
Have a seat, please.
Let's get you fixed up.
I only have a minute.
Edgar, please.
Eat our sweetmeats, drink our wine.
I understand one of our copywriters took a Yetta Wallenda-sized misstep.
The girl, the tightrope walker.
They got her off the sidewalk with a hose last week.
The point is, we completely understand your problem.
- All we want to know is how we can help.
- You're supposed to tell me.
Well, I've done all I can.
Don? In the interest of time, you want to demolish Penn Station - and New York hates it.
- Not all of New York.
A vocal minority.
Can they stop it? Well, I think all the hubbub is making it unpleasant for But they can't stop it, can they? Why do you people insist on making us sound like villains? Your concern over public opinion shows a guilty conscience.
Now what good is that serving you if what is to be done is already underway? Leave those.
Bring a couple of iceberg wedges, blue cheese, bacon.
So let's say I don't have a guilty conscience.
Good.
And let's also say that change is neither good or bad, it simply is.
It can be greeted with terror or joy.
A tantrum that says, "I want it the way it was," or a dance that says, "Look.
It's something new.
" - Would you draw the line at 50%? - I'm not drawing a line at all.
PR people understand this, but they can never execute it.
If you don't like what is being said, change the conversation.
What is that conversation? I was in California.
Everything is new, and it's clean.
The people are filled with hope.
New York City is in decay.
But Madison Square Garden It's the beginning of a new city on a hill.
- Just like that? - It's true, isn't it? If I were to come to you, I don't want that kid on my account.
- The communist, the radical.
- I will handle it personally.
Grandpa Gene is going to watch his program now.
I just want to catch the end of the game.
- Move.
- And the first pitch of the ball, outside.
- Daddy seems well.
He has an appetite.
- He eats constantly.
When I found out Gloria was gone, I was hoping he ate her.
- How could you not know about that? - I went by, but he lied to me.
Then, finally, when I let myself in, he went bananas.
He's ashamed.
Judy can get through to him.
He's down in the dumps, but he seems very clearheaded.
That's not true, Judy, and you know it.
He's angry, and he's in and out.
There is this place, the Parker Home.
It's midway between us, in New Brunswick.
And what happens there? He lives there.
It's got everything, plus doctors.
It's expensive, but I thought maybe we could sell our house.
You know.
That would give him enough to live on.
That's very generous.
- Do you think he belongs in a home? - Betty, I know I don't get a vote.
- Neither does Don.
- All you care about is the house.
You want to walk in there, see Daddy on the bottom of the stairs, and have his last words be, "Take the house.
" Fine, Betts.
What's the solution? Those homes are for people who don't have families, William.
- He's a Ionely old man and he's not well.
- He's your father.
- Gene.
- Thanks for the ritzy accommodations.
You're an army man, Gene.
Drop your socks and grab something.
Lights out at 8:15.
I'm impressed.
I wish you would hang your coat up downstairs.
It's covered with soot.
- How bad is he? - He's not the problem.
What am I saying? He's the whole problem.
That, and William's never-ending bullshit.
- What now? - He wants to put him in an old folks' home.
Well, I understand it's not ideal, but it is the next logical step.
Don, he just wants the house.
He keeps nailing himself to the cross.
For all I know, Judy's pushing him.
Cut it out! What do you want to do? How can he talk that way to me in the condition I'm in? - Do you want anything? - Just throw it on the chair and stay here.
Be careful.
I'm fine.
It's so funny how she is.
My father and her fought constantly.
She never remembers that part.
- Family is important to her.
- I care about family.
You know, Don had nobody at their wedding.
Nobody at all.
Why can't we just move in with him? I'll take care of him.
It's bad enough to work for him.
I'm a 30-year-old man.
I don't want to have somebody tell me I have the wrong tie on.
Raffit is sending over every piece of paper they have on the new Garden.
He wants you to see these new drawings.
Apparently they're right out of Metropolis.
- He talk about television? - I have a meeting on the books.
He talked a lot about radio.
And Kinsey.
You're gonna have to keep a low profile on this, - but it doesn't mean you're not working.
- Mr.
Pryce is here to see you.
I didn't realize you were in the middle of something.
Did you come to treat us to a little new-business lunch? May I speak with you in private, Don? - Can I get you anything? - No, thank you.
Bad news, I'm afraid.
I just got off the phone with London.
There's a problem with Madison Square Garden.
- Did their check bounce already? - Unfortunately, there's a conflict.
Did you tell them it's a stadium in the middle of New York City? - It's one of a kind.
- They know exactly what it is, a project, and they told us to turn it down.
- I'm confused.
- It's a question of economics.
Servicing Madison Square Garden will require an account man, at least two copywriters, two artists, an ombudsman for City Hall, all against 200,000 in billings.
That's for right now.
Precisely.
From what I understand, groundbreaking is at least two years away.
Madison Square Garden is our way into the World's Fair, the largest trade show in history.
Plus, there's the Garden itself.
Hotels, concerts, sports.
- This could mean 30 years of business.
- They're not interested.
I'm sorry.
You told me to go out and get this account.
I did.
I did my job, and now you're telling me it's all for nothing because you forgot to check with your boss first? Who's running this place? I know this is difficult.
I take full responsibility.
Why the hell did you buy us in the first place? I don't know.
Tell Mr.
Campbell Madison Square Garden is dead.
- Do you have a second? - Can it wait? No.
Sal sent up the storyboards.
- What is this? - It's Patio, the diet drink for Pepsi.
Yes.
Everyone wants a drink that sounds like a floor.
This is Chinese.
It's all one shot, like the beginning of Bye Bye Birdie.
- I haven't seen it.
- Well, this is an Ann-Margret type.
Fine.
You really haven't seen it? You see everything.
We have a few versions of a song, and the boys are very excited about finding this girl.
I'm sure.
Don't you find her voice shrill? She's throwing herself at the camera.
It's pure.
It makes your heart hurt.
No one seems to care that it speaks to men, not the people that drink diet drinks.
What do the geniuses at Patio want? Maybe we should be talking about how this is better than coffee or Dexedrine.
It's not about making women feel fat.
This is, "Look how happy I am that I drink Patio.
"I'm young and excited and desperate for a man.
" I don't mind fantasies, but shouldn't it be a female one? Peggy, I know you understand how this works.
Men want her.
Women want to be her.
- Even if that's true - It is.
I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.
Well, you know, if we were making a movie or a play, we'd be embarrassed to do this.
It's phony.
You're not an artist, Peggy.
You solve problems.
Leave some tools in your toolbox.
Could you hold that? - Heading home? - Yes.
Let me ask you something.
You're a young girl.
Excuse me? You're the only one around here who doesn't have that stupid look on her face.
What does that mean? What would your father have to do for you to not want him at your wedding? - My father passed away.
- There you go.
You'd do anything.
Hello.
It's so crowded in here, I feel like I'm on the subway.
Where's your drink? Don.
Don't worry about this.
It's under control.
- Hey, where's Mom? - She's upstairs.
- I'm going out for a bucket of chicken.
- What's the matter? - I'm a horrible daughter.
- No, you're not.
William says these are the options.
We put him in a home, or they move in with him and Judy is his nurse.
Judy.
William says? He's probably right.
- William! - Yeah, Don? Go get the chicken in a minute.
Can I speak to you a minute? - Jesus.
What year is this from? - I don't care.
Look, Don, we're all upset.
One thing I've learned from this, don't get old.
- About your father - Man's a real jackpot.
He always said he didn't want to be a burden, yet here we are.
This is what's going to happen.
You're gonna explain to your sister and your wife that we have reached an understanding.
You are going to support your father financially, and I am going to take him into my house.
His house will remain untouched.
I appreciate the advice, Don.
I'll take it under consideration.
You're gonna go out there and you're gonna tell your sister that this is what you want.
We'll pretend that you did the right thing on your own.
- He's my father! - And he's in my home.
I want you to leave tonight, and I want you to leave the Lincoln.
- I can't have him here without a car.
- Are you kidding me? How are we supposed to get home? New York Central.
Broadway Limited from Penn Station.
It leaves in two hours.
You want him? You got him.
- Dad, we have to talk.
- I could eat.
No.
Daddy, William has something to say.
All of us, we've been trying to figure out a way we can help you live better.
I'd be doing all right if people left me alone.
Daddy, - Don and I want you to live here with us.
- Elizabeth.
Honey, I'm not that blue.
Just for a while.
I think you need a little vacation.
So the animals are running the zoo? We're not selling the house, and you're gonna have your car.
The plans, the plans, the plans you make.
You know you want to get out of town.
You'll be with the kids.
Betty is a better cook.
You always say that.
- Well, I should've been the first to go.
- Daddy, don't talk like that.
We should go pack.
Girls, start getting your things together.
It's nice, right? It's called a stinger.
- I don't know what's in it.
- It's delicious.
I'm graduating from Brooklyn College next month.
- What are you studying? - What? - What are you studying? - Do you want one? - I'm afraid you're gonna bite my hand.
- I'm sorry.
I just need to eat.
My mom says I'm still growing.
I gotta work on my manners.
I started pre-law, but switched to engineering.
More jobs.
Really? Those are so different.
You've gotta figure, if we're all gonna be replaced by machines, might as well be a guy that makes them, right? Or you could just become a robot.
- Are you in school? - I work at an ad agency, Manhattan.
Wow.
I don't know how you girls do all that typing.
- And I work for a jerk.
- We're hitting the road.
You got cab fare? What are you talking about? I live around the corner.
That's right.
He does.
You're funny.
Do you have You know.
- What? - A Trojan? No.
I can't.
I can't.
Jeez.
It's getting pretty late.
Well, there are other things we could do.
Did you hear that? Gene.
The heat is on.
We got to get rid of this stuff.
You got anything else around, go flush it.
- You're leaving? - I have to work tomorrow.
- You want to get breakfast? - It's the middle of the night.
- Where do you work again? - Madison Avenue.
Right.
Well, you know, I hang out at that place a lot.
Okay.
It's the bottom one.
Thanks.
This was fun.
Parents, friends, and family, I'd like to welcome you all to field day.
I hope you can appreciate how hard the children have prepared in all kinds of weather.
Scott? "The tradition of the maypole dates back over 500 years, "and is celebrated all over the world.
"We erected our maypole for Ossining's sesquicentennial.
"We dance around the pole in a timeless celebration "of the renewal of springtime.
" Okay, ribbons up.
- Daddy! Did you see me dance? - I did.
You were great.
Hey.
Hey, Drapers.
Cindy's dad wants to take our picture.
Say, "Cheese!" - Cheese! - Cheese! - How was your morning, Mr.
Draper? - Fine.
- Do you want to talk about Pampers? - What do you got?