Mount Pleasant (2011) s03e02 Episode Script

Reconnect is finished.
We could still be young and hip parents.
Not again.
Not this discussion again.
I sold it! No way! Yes, way.
I'm going to have to sell up, Roger.
That's a bit drastic.
How old do you reckon she is? Who? Tanya.
Do you want to get married or not? We've not seen a grin on his face like this for ages and it's all down to you.
Has anyone ever said you could be a model? No.
Well, you could.
I'm going to start my own business, Denise.
That's brilliant, Fergus.
I haven't got a job to go to.
No.
You haven't.
So get yourself back in here.
No.
Being unemployed is no excuse to lounge around all morning.
Can do more in a bed than lounge, you know? It's not an excuse for frivolous sex either.
Everything is an excuse for frivolous sex.
Knobhead.
Suppose it wasn't? Wasn't what? Frivolous.
What I said the other day? You and me Not The patter of tiny feet? Dan, can we talk about this later? It wasn't practical before, with us both working.
But now that you've got time on your hands.
Time on my hands? Dan, when you've got time on your hands you defrost the fridge or wash the curtains.
You don't pop out babies willy-nilly.
When did you last wash the curtains? Nothing! Good morning sunshine! Honestly, Gary.
Standing around half naked like that.
What if our new neighbours are watching? I've got nothing to hide.
Don't be crude.
Speaking of our new neighbours, was thinking of asking her out.
Who? Ella.
Oh.
Isn't she a lot older than you? Only seven months.
You and Dad were hardly the same age.
That was completely different.
Why? Because me and Jim Your father and I Well, because it just was.
Now drink your tea before it gets cold.
Hiya, Fergus.
He's with me mum why? I can't.
I'm just going out.
Er.
Nowhere.
OK, but you better make it quick.
See you in a bit.
I mean, girls mature a lot faster than boys, don't they? Yeah, by about 40 years.
And they'd make a lovely looking couple.
The Posh and Becks of the close.
It's just I am a bit worried.
I don't think our Gary's had a girlfriend before, and I mean, what if they do go out together and it doesn't work out, and then she breaks his heart? It's just a date, Bianca.
It's not Wuthering Heights.
Anyway, for all you know she might not want to go out with him.
What's that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't she want to go out with him? He's a semi-professional footballer.
Practically.
And he's got a lot taller lately.
Any girl would be lucky to have him.
Well, what's the problem then? Dan, you're a man, aren't you? Is that a trick question? Do you think it's OK for a younger man to go out with an older woman? Absolutely.
Really? And anyway, you look really good for your age, Bianca.
I think I better head off.
Yeah.
Good idea.
Why don't you take your foot out your mouth while you go? The jobs paper? Thought we were, erm You know? "Assessing our options?" Hence the jobs paper.
Mind you, The Dog & Dart's hiring.
Part-time.
Part-time would be perfect.
We'll talk about this later, Dan.
I'm meeting Greg there later, I could pop your CV in for you if I'll be off then.
Part-time bar staff.
Standing round in a low-cut top whilst pissed up bloke's ogle you.
Reckon I can aim a bit higher than that.
Hi.
Hi.
Denise, thanks for coming.
You look good.
Actually.
You really do.
Needn't sound so surprised! Sorry.
Are you going somewhere? No.
Just shopping.
I can't stop long.
No, no, absolutely.
What happened at Reconnect came as a shock to all of us.
But, as a great man once said, "A closing door is not a problem, "unless you are on the wrong side of it.
" I like to see what happ Are you reading this off cards? No.
All right, yes.
Look, Denise, the reason I've asked you here is, I've decided to form my own company.
Oh.
That's nice.
It'll be like Reconnect, only better because it'll be mine, ground up I won't have to answer to anybody.
I've still kept all my contacts.
Plus, I've squirreled away the odd penny, not a massive amount but certainly enough to get us started.
Us? I can't do it on me own.
You have to play to your strengths in the business game.
And yes, I am good at charming the investors and keeping things moving indefinitely on an upwardly fiscal arc.
But it takes more than that, doesn't it? It takes someone like you.
I saw you out there, on the front line you were the glue that held that whole team together.
Denise, I want you on my right hand.
So to speak.
I don't think me working for you is a good idea any more.
But you wouldn't be working for me.
We'd be partners Equal partners.
Your own business card.
With your name on and everything.
I had them made this morning.
It says, "Managing Director", see? I'm sorry, Fergus, but to be honest, I'm kind of glad to be out of all that.
I don't even know why I stayed as long as I did.
Only came in to temp for a few weeks.
I think I'm ready for something new.
Like what? I really have to go.
But I'll see you tomorrow, won't I? You're coming round for Josh? You'll be fine.
You don't need me, you'll make a success of it all by yourself.
You always do.
Not really.
Why are you asking? Just making conversation.
Bit of a weird conversation.
No, never appealed.
I mean, what use are they? I suppose they're handy once they're old enough to go down the shops for you.
I reckon there's a bit more to having kids than that.
Yeah? Like what? Like.
I dunno Who's going to take care of you when you're old and grey? Easy.
My eighth wife.
Eighth? Yeah.
She'll only be in her mid-20s.
Plus, she'll get me free holidays.
Free holidays? Course.
She'll be a flight attendant.
I'm glad you've got it all worked out, mate.
You told Amber about this eighth wife of yours, have you? Nah, no point worrying her.
She's not even been born yet.
Things going well with you two, are they? All right, yeah.
Sorry? Did you want details? No.
Cos I'll give you them.
I'm fine, ta.
A what diploma? Well, technically I haven't, but I did use computers at my last place of work, so I do know my way around a Sorry? Which what? Which operating system? Um.
Well, you know The big one, the one they all use.
With the little icons and that.
Hello? Hello? Finding everything all right, are you? Not got any hummus? Hummus? Had a free sample of it at Tesco's last week.
Been on about it ever since.
Don't remember what life was like before it.
I'll be sure to get some in next time you're on the scrounge.
Cheers, love.
Oh! Hello! We're off looking at dresses.
You know, for the Wedding? Don't suppose you fancy a look-out with us? It's going to be awful.
Well, you're certainly selling it.
Anyway, something to do, now you've got all this time on your hands.
Hey! Hello? Can we meet, Lisa? I have got a proposal for you.
What sort of proposal? A business proposal.
What can I get you? You took the job? He's giving me a trial.
I start tomorrow night.
I reckon this is just what I needed.
Something to really sink my teeth into.
I feel proper at home already.
Oh! It just came out.
I barely touched it! Reckon this means the occasional free drink? Certainly not.
I'm on a trial.
Shame on you for asking.
Got to go Amber? You after those details again? No.
Cos I could ring you afters No.
See you later.
Lisa didn't fancy it then? I don't think this is really for her.
She was after something more full-time.
She said that? She rang round a few places for interviews.
Hey, I wouldn't mention it though.
It didn't go too well.
Reckon I might surprise her tonight, little treat cheer her up.
Grab us one of those champ erm, sparkling wine bottles, will you? I best not.
Haven't read the health and safety guidelines yet.
I'll go and get someone for you.
God, I need a drink.
Rough morning? Wedding.
Absolute waste of time.
Give them two weeks, tops.
Bianca? What are you? Are you working here now? Starting tomorrow night.
Well, that's the most wonderful news! The occasional free drink, eh? What? What? Who was it? Package for Dan and Lisa.
Oh, why don't you get someone in to do that? Cos you wanted me to do it straight away.
Try not to electrocute yourself.
I'd have to get another husband.
It'd be very inconvenient.
It's from Spain.
Didn't they say her mum and dad live in Spain? Wonder what it is.
Sounds like bottles.
Why don't you open it and have a look? Should I? Stupid thing.
We should have them over for dinner.
Who? Dan and Lisa.
What for? We just had a party the other day.
Yes, but that was a party.
This is a dinner.
Never hurts to make friends with a couple who know people in Spain.
We know people in Spain.
Yes, but they know normal people.
As in people not currently fighting extradition.
So that's settled.
Dinner tomorrow night.
Tzzz! Bloody idiot! Oh, you're full of the joys, aren't you? You better not be like this tomorrow night.
Best behaviour.
A closing door is only a problem if you are on the wrong side of it.
And I see what happened Are you reading off cards? Oh, for fu All right.
I'm not going to beat around the bush any more.
I'm just going to get to the point.
You know me, Lisa, never used four words when I can use three.
I've a couple of words I'll use myself if you don't tell me what I'm doing here.
I'm starting another company.
Like Reconnect, only better.
The wheels are already in motion, Lisa, and I want you on board.
Sorry? It's tough out there on the job market today particularly at your age.
At my age! You are not exactly a spring chicken.
Equal partners.
Equal partners.
I didn't have my eyes closed all those years, you know? I saw you out there, on the front line You were the glue that held that whole team together.
Well, I wouldn't say the whole team, but I certainly played my part.
I kept things ticking over.
Lisa You were my first and only choice.
"Lisa Johnson MD".
Thanks for the lift.
No worries, Gary.
So I'll see you tomorrow? Yep, you will.
Cool.
What's tomorrow? Saturday.
You take that one, and that one.
Oh, Lisa! What you doing tomorrow night? You and Dan? Nothing, I don't think.
Yes, you are.
You're coming to ours for dinner.
Oh.
Thank you very much.
I am celebrating, after all.
Celebrating? Got a new job.
Oooh.
I've read about those, what are they like? I mean it's nothing special.
Just a little start up company that I'm going to be Co-Managing Director of, that's all.
Oh, my God! That's definitely worth celebrating.
Congratulations.
Mum, door! Teenagers.
They never do anything for themselves, do they? What you doing? I'm practising making cocktails.
That's a Flamingo.
That's a Winter's Kiss and that's a Fireman's Lift.
Why? Because Why do you look so pleased with yourself? I may have asked a certain someone out.
Where are you going to take her? Dunno.
We'll see.
But I was all like, "Fancy hanging out tomorrow?" And she was all, "sounds good.
" Is that what you said? "Fancy hanging out?" She does realise you mean a date, doesn't she? Of course she does.
I didn't mean that.
Any girl would have said yes.
I was just telling Lisa this morning how much taller you've got.
Why were you talking to Lisa about how tall I am? I can't remember.
Must have just came up naturally in conversation.
Gary.
Lisa? Bath! Now then? Good day? Actually, it wasn't Oooh! What's this in aid of? Nothing.
Just thought you might fancy a cheer-me-up.
So.
Did you ring round any job places? Yeah.
Waste of time that was.
But in the end Lisa.
I'm sorry about this morning banging on about you-know-what when your head's still in the shed over this whole closure thing.
Thanks, Dan.
But And also, I want you to know that I do get it.
It's hard, you know, looking for work when all you've ever done is sit behind a desk this last few years.
All I've ever done? You know what I mean.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, but it might surprise you to know that I did find myself a job today, thank you very much.
What job? I am now Co-Managing Director of a brand-new recruitment company.
Cheers! Managing Director? You heard.
Fergus has set up a brand-new enterprise and he wants me to help run the whole thing.
Nice to know that somebody's a got some faith in me.
And you've said yes? You didn't think of talking to me about it first? Do you know what, Dan, I didn't, what with it not being 1896.
I didn't think I had to ask permission from the master of the house.
It's not about asking for permission.
It's just about talking to each other.
What are you doing? Nothing.
Well, I'm off out got to see a man about a dog.
Back for dinner though Brads? Dan and Lisa? Yeah, yeah.
When we first got married, we promised we wouldn't go to bed on an argument.
Yeah, I remember.
Then we argued the first night of the honeymoon.
Did we? I don't remember that.
You accused me of staring at that topless sunbather.
You WERE staring at that topless sunbather.
Oh, brilliant.
We going to go back to that one now, are we? Well, you were No, no.
Budge up.
Look, Dan.
You were right, I think we should talk through those big decisions with each other.
But you were playing clever buggers too.
Bringing home the bubbly so you could get back on the baby chat.
Maybe.
It's a big and exciting opportunity for me, this.
But a job is still just a job.
But a baby? That's a commitment.
We can't just hand it back if it doesn't work out.
So, yes, we do need to talk about it.
And we will.
But sensibly, and without alcohol.
And from now on we should talk about everything We don't bottle anything up.
Agreed? Agreed.
Talking of which.
We're going for dinner tonight at Tanya and Bradley's.
Aaah.
And you DID stare at that topless sunbather.
I'm probably going to have to head off, quite a lot on today.
Come over to mine tonight though, if you like? You what? What did you say? I didn't hear you.
"Do you want to hang out", that's what he said.
That's not asking someone out, is it? That's how kids talk nowadays, isn't it? "Want to Hang out?" or erm "I'm down with that.
" "Down with that".
Forget all that.
A little birdie told me that you've landed yourself a job at the Dog & Dart? You're looking at the new barmaid, subject to a trial period, of course.
Of course.
Well, I don't know if you know but, erm, I'm walking down a new career path myself as it goes? Oh? Oh, it's no biggie.
Just a new company started, wanted me on board, and now I am the new Co-Managing Director.
Oh, God, I reckon every time you say that out loud you should put a quid in a jar.
We'd have enough for a holiday by the end of the week.
You're just jealous.
I'm already a managing director, thank you very much, of my own company.
None of this "co" nonsense.
Got a website and everything.
You are on Facebook, and you can't remember the password.
Where do you think you are going? In to town.
Well, no drinking with Greg, we've got dinner tonight.
Seven o'clock don't be late.
You see? They don't get any better.
Sorry, Bianca, I've got to take this.
It's my new business partner.
Oh! Lisa Johnson.
But who was she? I don't know, do I? Said her name was Kim doubt it was.
Couldn't go to the police though, not after Dan and Lisa had walked right through the airport with it.
So, I told them I'd get rid of it.
And instead you thought you'd keep it for personal use.
I haven't touched that shit for years.
Even if I still did, you could hardly call that much "personal use", could you? I even drove down the canal.
And? I couldn't do it.
It'd be like, chucking away ten grand, or something.
Or something.
Been sat on it ever since.
Spoke to some of the lads, all more than willing to buy a bag or two.
Something made me hang on though, I guess Going to need a sample.
So you know people then? You trust me, right? I do.
Yes.
I'm sorry to boot you out love, I've really got to get to my meeting.
' I'll speak to you later though, yeah? Well Hi, Ella, are you OK? Hi.
Yeah.
Just been down getting me mum's mags for her.
Yeah.
I know.
I find it best not to ask.
What's wrong with a couple of red-tops, eh? So, I understand you and our Gary are off somewhere tonight? We're just hanging out.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm down with that.
We're just going out to the local for the evening, that's all.
I'll see you later, yeah? Were you speaking to Ella outside? I hope you weren't talking about me.
I just asked her where she gets her hair done.
It's nice.
I might get mine done like it.
So decided where you're taking her tonight? Er Cinema.
Oh.
Very nice.
So, what's with the cocktail stuff all of a sudden then? You never did tell me? Nothing.
I just thought it was time I had a new hobby.
That's all.
I'm sorry, Denise, I just forgot.
I've got a lot on.
I've got a lot on.
If you'd rang and made up some stupid excuse that would be one thing but to find you just sat in here.
I can't take him now, I've got a meeting.
What meeting? Hiya.
Hiya, Lisa! Lisa is your meeting? She's my new partner.
Managing director.
Co managing director.
Ohhhh, is she now? Glad to see you managed to fill the vacancy so quick.
Well, Lisa was my first and only choice.
I said that straight away, didn't I? And a very good choice she is too.
So, you say you're still OK to have Josh then? Yes.
Absolutely.
Good.
I'll be back later.
His first business meeting, eh? Bianca.
What do you think? Very smart.
I'm just going to take a shower.
So, what film are you going to see? James Bond.
I look forward to hearing all about it.
"Fersa Recruitment?" Thinking up names for the company.
First rule of business "A solid name, equals a solid gain.
" Fersa? FER- gus, Li- SA.
Fersa.
Why not Lisa and Fergus? Cos that'd be Ligus.
It's not even a word.
And Fersa is? Ah, yeah, but Fersa sounds like a word.
Put it in a sentence.
"Shares in Fersa Recruitment today rose by 8.
9%" Anyway, forget about the name, first things first I'm already thinking, "office space.
" Well, actually I figured we'd probably start off running things from What's that? I called in at a few estate agents on the way.
Very reasonable rent on a few of them, I thought.
You want to get the first round then? First round? Yeah, sure.
What's wrong? Nothing.
OK.
I'll have a vodka and coke then, please.
Right.
I'll probably have a pint.
OK.
S'cuse me, love? Yes Love.
Bi I didn't know you I work here now.
Didn't I mention? How was the film? We didn't go to the pictures, all right.
She wanted to come for a drink and I didn't think you'd Look.
Bianca.
She wants a vodka and coke.
You're over 25 with the ID to prove it? It's 18 in pubs.
Oh, so you're over 18 then? Listen, I'm on a trial here tonight.
And I don't think serving alcohol to underage fibber-dibbers is going to help my cause very much.
Do you? Oi! Bianca, that was wicked.
Funny but wicked.
He told me he was going to the pictures.
He said it to my face.
That's one of them mortal sin things, isn't it? Oh, yes.
"Thou shalt not fibber-dib.
" I'll have another double, please.
Oh, and if you need some ID.
There was traffic and a bus had broke down and then I hit every red light going.
Lisa? Lisa? Shit.
We can't have it "any time", because we're having it now.
As in now.
There's nothing I can do.
What the hell are they going to think if you can't even bother to show up? They can think what they like.
You're such a selfish prick, Bradley Dawson.
Oh, and these contacts are so important you've got to see them on a Saturday night? There's no other choice, Tanya.
Bullshit! I am so sorry I'm late.
Is she cross? Is who cross? Lisa.
Where is Lisa? She's not here? Problem? She's running late.
And I ran three speed camera's getting back here.
Oh, well, I am sure she won't be long.
Bradley's not back yet either.
So, it's just the two of us for now.
Why don't you come in? Oh.
Well maybe I should just Don't be silly.
I've already opened up the wine and you look like you could do with a bit.
Where are you? I'm still at work.
We're making real progress.
Please, please, please tell them I will make it up to them.
I have got to go, bye.
Here we are.
Oh, no honestly, I.
Don't be daft.
Bottoms up.
Mmm.
That's Huerta de Albala.
It's Spanish.
Ooh, a connoisseur? A man of hidden depths.
Hardly.
We drink it all the time.
Lisa's Mum's always sending it over in hampers.
Look, I've just spoken to Lisa she's really sorry, big business meeting.
She's not going to make it.
If you'd rather just cancel the evening Dan, Dan.
Stop wittering.
Other half loses track of time because of business? Nothing new there.
I've just spoken to Bradley, he's stood me up too.
Welcome to the Executive Widows Club.
So, come on, we can always plate them up the leftovers.
So, what do we have here? I've been practising all day.
I wish someone would ask me for one.
Look at this, creamy on the bottom, pink on the top and with a little cherry on.
Isn't it beautiful? A stiff nipple.
No, Bianca, that's what it's called.
Is it? Oh, I am so sorry.
Bianca.
It's all part and parcel of being young.
Lying to your elders, sneaking off where you're not supposed to, drinking what you're not meant to.
We all did it.
I didn't.
No.
No, probably you didn't.
I certainly did.
Oh, I don't mean to embarrass him.
I really don't.
It's just I'm not his mum.
I try to be.
And for the most part it works.
But there's just certain situations I just don't know how to handle.
Ahhhh! You're worried about sex! Well, don't be.
Gone are the days when parents have to give their children "the talk" - it's all dealt with by the school now.
That isn't what you were worried about? But it is now? I really am sorry.
Don't be.
Stepmums or normal mums they're all the same.
And believe me, if you want to play "whose got the most mental", I'd win every time.
I am not sure you would want to take that bet.
No? Seriously.
You don't know the half of it.
Some of the things I could tell you.
Bad enough dragging me bloody dress shopping two days in a row anyway - but then to humiliate me like that.
It was a joke! Making me model it in front of the assistant and then telling me I looked like Lily bloody Savage.
"Better", I said.
"Better than Lily Savage.
" Oh, hello! What's all this then? A date? Yeah.
No.
Normally better to know that before you leave the house.
I used to get it in writing.
You didn't think this was No! No.
Gary.
I've told you.
I really like you.
Yeah, I know.
No.
You don't.
I promise you, I REALLY like you.
I just can't right now.
OK.
It's complicated.
Yeah.
I know.
We're friends hanging out.
That's what I said.
I actually can't stay long anyway.
Football practice, first thing.
In fact.
I should probably get going.
Gary.
Oh, what's happened, why are they leaving? Now then, Bianca.
You working here? I am, cock.
What can I get you? Pint, lager and lime.
And er Have you got any hummus? Lisa does that too, she does exactly that.
This morning she was having a pop at me about something that happened on our honeymoon years ago.
Delving into the back catalogue to win an argument.
I bet she's a Taurus, isn't she? Ooh! You don't know what star sign she is, do you? Course I do! No.
I forget.
I was never really into all that.
Well, I bet I know what you are.
Go on then.
Pisces.
I am a Pisces, yeah.
Where'd you get that from? Not really sure I just figured you'd be a water sign.
Why? Because I'm a Cancer.
And what does that mean? It means whenever our respective Taurus's stand us up for the night we can still have a good laugh.
Hi, angel.
How was your date? I wasn't on a date.
Are you? Er.
Actually, I might make a move too.
Really? Yeah.
I'm sorry again about Lisa.
We should do this again some time.
Cancer - Pisces.
Very compatible, see? I can't believe you couldn't just bring him back.
I'm sorry we ran on later than I expected.
This was his Daddy day? Sitting in a cafe for seven hours? He loved it.
The staff made a proper fuss of him.
Going to be a right lady killer this one.
And how was your Co-Managing Director? Denise, is there absolutely no way I can talk you into doing it instead? Taking charge, is she? Seriously, Denise.
I can't.
Because I've signed up with a modelling agency.
Yeah, right.
What, really? Yes.
You haven't had to give them any money, have you? I'm not stupid, Fergus.
Remember Ella, from the party? She gave me her card.
Got me on their books straight away.
Said I had "a complexion like a pineapple.
" And you're sure it's legit? They're not expecting you to you know? What? Remember that seminar I took you on? When we stayed over in the Holiday Inn? When I got my camera out? Not that sort of thing? Certainly not.
And you promised you'd deleted them.
Yeah, I did.
I'm sorry, Denise.
That all sounds It's brilliant.
Congratulations.
Hm.
Well.
All right.
LIGUS? Lisa and Fergus.
Shouldn't it be "Fergus and Lisa?" Yes.
Thank you.
It should be "Fergus and Lisa.
" Are we still friends? I never meant to embarrass you.
I've been a proper silly over the whole thing.
Actually, Bianca.
You were right.
I'm the stupid one.
It wasn't a date.
You are not stupid.
You're not.
Girls are very tricky to read.
I should know.
I used to be one.
I should have listened to you though.
Oh, who ever listens to me? Sometimes even I don't listen to me.
Is it her? Yes.
What does she say? No.
Don't tell me.
It's none of my business.
I've bought you a cocktail.
I presume you have ID? Just kidding.
Hey! That's really good.
I love a stiff nipple.
What a day.
Exciting though.
How was the dinner? They didn't mind I wasn't there, did they? Did that hamper turn up? Where to today then? We're seeing a couple of offices near Trent Fields.
Very swish.
What's this? I have no idea.
Can I talk to you and Lisa? She's just nipped out.
He thinks I've pulled my finger out looking for a venue.
And I get a nice stay.
For free.
We've got something, you and me.
That fella I was telling you about.
He wants to do business.
You could make some serious money here, mate.
I might not want to.
You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to.
We were not put on this planet just to push out babies, thank you very much!