My Life Is Murder (2019) s03e02 Episode Script

What?
Good morning, sunshine!
No, Alexa, it is not the morning.
Well, it is, but it's the part of the
morning
where I'm meant to be asleep.
Hey, listen. If I need
to hook up a screen to a laptop,
do I need a USB to USB,
HDMI to HDMI or a C?
- What? Why?
- Why do you wanna do this?
Just in case I wanna screen mirror.
- Do you need to screen mirror?
- Well, I might.
It is 3.23, Alexa.
It is 3.23am.
Is that Madison?
Reuben says good morning.
- I say bonjour.
- How's things in France?
Tell him it's dark and quiet.
Almost as if everyone should be asleep.
Dis-moi ton secret. Dis-moi.
- All right, then.
- I'll let you go. Au revoir.
Isn't it the middle
of the night over there?
- Yeah. 12 hours behind.
- So, 3.23 in the morning apparently.
- So you called her because?
- Cos I miss the sound of her voice.
Besides, she won't tell me why
she's suddenly on holiday en France.
So until she confirms my theories,
I'm just gonna keep forgetting
about the time difference.
Let me guess. Professor Whatshisface
in the snail garden with a spade.
- Nope.
- Beer.
- Nope.
- Salt.
Nope.
Sebastian Kent in the bush
in a sculpture.
- What do you mean 'in a sculpture'?
- I told you it was macabre.
Sebastian Kent, bestselling author.
Disappeared a few weeks ago.
Oh, the crime writer guy?
- I take it he's turned up.
- He sure has.
Found encased in a concrete sculpture
on a bush trail near where he lives.
The sculpture just
appeared there one day.
If it hadn't been for flooding in
the area, he'd still be standing there.
Coroner found drugs in his system.
He was sedated, coated in concrete.
Death by suffocation.
About four weeks ago.
Well, given his profile,
you have done an
excellent job keeping the details quiet.
Well, the last thing we want is journos
and obsessed Sebastian
Kent fans offering their theory.
- So what's the official theory?
- I wish I had something solid.
Nothing concrete?
- Had to.
- He had some enemies.
Ngaire Green, local lady.
They've been involved in a pretty public
war of words
over a property development.
And who's Ngaire
Green when she's at home?
Well, she's a sculptor.
We've been over and over her movements.
A sculptor hiding a body
in a sculpture. Bit obvious?
And Ngaire's only one of a dozen
locals who couldn't stand Sebastian.
The only person with anything nice
to say was his researcher, Adele.
She was away the night he disappeared.
But someone did this.
Put him right there in public view.
So you want fresh eyes on these two?
Oh, come on. You know you want to.
You had me at 'macabre'.
Check this out.
Ugh. People were walking past
a dead body for a month? Creepy.
Yep. The council's got
no record of it being installed
and they've talked to
all the local sculptors.
God, who's that?
- Go away, you bloody people.
- No, no, no. Answer it.
Madison, the only person I
can tolerate at this time of night
is en France, eating cereal.
Aw. It's almost like
you're missing me, Alexa.
It's OK. I'll be back before you
know it. Now answer it. It's Beth.
Come on. She'll think you're out.
Oh! You're right.
She is home. Hi. I'm Beth.
- She's here to help.
- Help who?
You?
So that you don't keep calling
Madison in the middle of the night.
What?
You didn't say she was scary.
- She's not.
- Most of the time she's not.
I- hang on. You work for Harry?
Sat next to Madison
at the police station?
Actually, I'm in between posts.
- Beth's a cryptologist.
- Navy intelligence.
Beth, Alexa's got a doozy.
A dead body found encased
in a concrete sculpture.
Amazing.
You don't get that out at sea.
Yeah, the only clues are traces of
rat droppings in the concrete, and
This is very confidential information
you're giving to some
stranger in my lobby.
She's not a stranger. She's my friend.
And my security clearance
is higher than hers.
- Sorry, Mads.
- It's true. You're a star.
Oh, you're the star.
Yeah, we're all stars.
Listen, I'm about to wrap my head
around a murder investigation.
I don't want to attend this intergen
affirmation party, all right?
- But I'm, I'm here to help.
- Beth is here to help.
- When I want help, I'll ask for it.
- Oh, wait.
Don't look at me like that.
Nothing on the body,
so someone knew how
to kill him without leaving evidence.
Someone like his assistant
who researches all his crime novels.
Madison filled me in on the rest of
the details
after you kicked me out.
- Hi. Coffee?
- No, she's not staying.
- No, I don't touch caffeine.
- And she's not staying.
Ooh, actually, I'll grab
some of that, though, please.
Alexa's bread? Sure. Toasted?
Ooh. Fresh. Splash of olive oil.
- OK.
- Thanks.
It looks amazing.
- Madison tell you to say that?
- No, I'm just a huge fan of carbs.
Anyway, the assistant, Adele,
has just been named as a
beneficiary in Sebastian's will.
She's been ruled out by the police.
They like the sculptor.
Here. You can see why.
Left to feral NIMBYs
- What's a NIMBY?
- Not In My Backyard.
- People who oppose change.
- Ah. Copy that.
NIMBY leader is Ngaire Green,
whose idealism is as simplistic
as the handicraft she hawks as art.
Ouch. Sebastian Kent wrote that?
Yeah. And plenty others besides.
Ooh. Thank you.
Oh my God. Shut up!
No, you shut up.
Look, Ngaire owns a sculpting studio.
Ngaire hated the victim.
All things point to Ngaire except Harry
and his team
can find no hard evidence.
Nothing concrete?
Ngaire wasn't the only one that
Sebastian gave a hard time to.
Check this out from eight months ago.
An assault on our town's character,
courtesy of billionaire Jack Sallinger,
who plans to build himself
a survival bunker
with no concern for the impact
it will have in our area.
He's a Doomsday prepper?
Oh, We have to talk to him.
Harry already did.
He came forward
because he'd had a drink with Sebastian
before he disappeared and his prints
were confirmed at the scene.
Well, if he's got a bunker,
I wanna see it.
I bet it's amazing.
You know, I've never understood
why people with obscene fortunes
don't do good for the world
instead of gratifying their egos
with things like survival bunkers.
Well, if I had the money,
I'd totally get a bunker.
- What on earth for?
- Zombie apocalypse.
You do know that zombies
aren't real. Don't you?
- Wait, you don't have a survival plan?
- Nope.
Get this. Adele worked for
the victim, Sebastian, for 12 years.
So I reckon that,
I assume that Madison told you
that I'm the one who does the talking.
Copy that.
Sebastian was very particular
about everything having its place,
his wardrobe's colour-coded,
books alphabetised.
Well, some people
colour-code their books too.
I mean, it's a tough decision, right?
Alphabetical or colour-coded,
because you can't choose
both.
I keep expecting him just
to walk in. Ask me about a password.
How to buy capsules
for the coffee machine.
So you were his
assistant for a long time.
Over 12 years.
Well, you must have been close
for him to leave you this nice house.
- We were close, but not like that.
- I had no idea.
That was Sebastian. He loved surprises.
Still, a house is next level, isn't it?
You can't think that I was involved.
The police said that they
couldn't confirm your alibi
on the night he disappeared,
and you said you were in Auckland.
No, they spoke to the Airbnb owners
and confirmed that's where I stayed.
I was at a concert, but I was
on my own, so I can't prove it.
Do you often go to concerts alone?
If I can't find anyone
who enjoys the same music, yes.
The ticket was actually a gift
from Sebastian. It was generous.
Really?
Look, I know that the police
still don't have any strong leads,
so I've made a list.
All of the people he's ever fallen out
with.
Anyone who might wanna hurt him.
Oh. This is helpful
and meticulous.
No Ngaire Green. Didn't she
and Sebastian have a feud going?
Well, yes Ngaire Green
is a tree-hugging vegan.
She couldn't murder a mosquito,
let alone a man.
I wouldn't bother with
Ngaire if I were you.
We love your work, Ngaire.
I am big on reclaimed materials,
you know, repurposing.
Which gallery did you
say you were from again?
Ah Trumans.
Yep, we're new. We just opened.
Yeah. Hey, I heard about that writer.
That must've been hard
on the arts community.
Oh, it was, but, um we're all a bit
sick of talking about it, to be honest.
Really? I would've thought you'd
be dining out on that for years.
I mean, famous author, dead inside
a statue. That's pretty juicy.
Where did you hear that?
- Where did we hear that?
- Oh, um
- Yeah. Down the village.
- Mrs Haveachat.
OK, why don't you tell me what you're
really doing here.
What are you, a reporter?
- Police consultant.
- And this is Beth.
Well, I don't really know what Beth
does. I just found her actually.
God, I'm so sick of being questioned.
Yes, I thought Sebastian
was an arrogant pig.
No, I didn't kill him.
But if you had,
last place you'd hide
him is in a statue.
- Am I right?
- Exactly.
So, in your expert opinion,
why did that thing fall
apart at the first fall of rain?
Well, when you work with concrete,
you have to make sure
that the shape inside is solid.
If you skimp on the coating, it leads to
thin concrete,
which can easily crack.
- Are we done here?
- One more thing.
What size space would you need to
produce a piece of rubbish like that?
A space about this size. You could
do it in a bloody garage.
Sebastian was a, a vile, two-faced jerk.
Is the world better off without him?
Yes.
Would I risk everything
to get rid of him?
No way in hell.
Thank you.
What a lovely spot to hide a body.
Our peace-loving vegan
sure is carrying a lot of rage.
Question is, did she let it
get the better of her?
Or there's, um an obsessed fan
who stalked Sebastian for a year.
A reviewer who he sued.
A local butcher he slandered.
Harry already ruled out the stalker.
So did Adele put herself on that list?
You reckon she's dodgy?
Meh, she seemed awfully keen
to move us past her lack of alibi.
Maybe she's just desperate to help.
I think she takes a lot
of pride in being clever.
Our killer thinks they're clever too.
- Well, how do you know?
- The crime is hidden in plain view,
and yet they weren't
clever enough to consider
that all that heavy rain would
make the statue unstable.
- How did they even get it up here?
- They'd have to be pretty strong.
A bunch of local
Sebastian haters did it together.
I mean, there are
a lot of people on this list.
- Including the crypto billionaire?
- The Doomsday prepper?
No. He's not.
That's a shame.
Hey, Beth. How's it going down there?
Oh, yeah, it's going great.
She's letting me talk to some locals.
Ah, she's getting rid of you for a bit.
No, I'm being useful.
I've spoken to a butcher,
a real estate agent and a florist,
but I just really wanted
to meet the prepper.
- There's a prepper?
- Oh, now I'm jealous.
Yeah. Did you know that Alexa doesn't
have a zombie apocalypse
survival plan?
I'd let that go if I were you.
Yes, but I would appreciate
it if you could tell me
when Mr Sallinger might be back.
He's out of the country,
and I'm not privy to his travel plans.
Righto.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
This is private property.
How did you even get in?
- Do I need to call the police?
- No, I'm actually with the police.
I've just come to talk to Mr
Sallinger about a recent case.
He's not here.
All right, well,
I can get out of your hair
if you just tell me when
he's gonna be back.
I have no idea.
K.
You know, your blink rate
goes up when you're lyin'.
- OK, Adele.
- What exactly are you selling?
- Gidday., Hey, how was the prepper?
- Not home. Whatcha doing?
OK. So it turns out
Adele made 9 grand
selling Sebastian Kent memorabilia.
Mm. Hm.
Ooh.
- What's this?
- Oh, I always bring a packed lunch.
But I thought it was gonna be
awkward eating in front of you,
so I made you one too.
If you don't want it,
you don't have to have it.
No, no. I think I love it.
It's just a bit weird.
You're kinda like my Gen Z grandma.
9 grand selling signed
manuscripts on eBay
using the vendor name Crimebabe Adele,
but she could've been
selling on his behalf.
Nah, I doubt it.
He's a rich cheapskate, and she's
the doormat who made his life run.
So she forged his autograph
and flicked
his manuscripts for some extra cash?
Well done, Beth.
I think I'm glad I brought along.
Madison actually gave me some
pointers on remotely accessing
I'm talkin' about this.
Oh. Right.
So Adele is hawking
Sebastian memorabilia
- and doing quite well out of it.
- Mm-hm.
What about recently?
Getting better prices now, I reckon.
Because you know how to make
an artist's work more valuable?
You kill 'em.
Adele.
- Adele.
- Oh.
I'm just heading to an exercise class,
but I could give you five minutes.
I can see that you take
your workouts seriously.
I've been doing a transformational
programme for the last six months.
According to eBay, you've been
transforming your finances too.
I needed to make ends meet.
By selling your boss' stuff?
Sebastian was so stingy.
He hadn't given
me a pay rise in six years. He owed me.
Adele, you said he was generous.
A concert ticket! One ticket.
I couldn't have taken
a friend even if I had one.
And do you know what he said to me
the
last time I asked him for a pay rise?
I'm guessing, 'No'?
He said I should be grateful that
he'd employed me all these years,
that I would never find
a better situation.
Ah. So that justified
selling the signed manuscripts.
I wasted a third of my life
in service to his career.
I was planning on leaving.
I didn't get the chance.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have somewhere to be.
Thank you.
Who goes to an exercise class
in hiking boots?
Wanna guess who she's waiting for?
Well, they both had reasons
to want him gone.
Makes sense that they're working
together. But why come back now?
Checking they didn't leave any evidence?
Or planning to plant some?
Or just remorse?
Adele was out of town the night
that Sebastian disappeared,
and Ngaire, according to Harry,
was at the studio working.
But what if they tag-teamed?
Like, Ngaire did the murder
and Adele came back
later to move the body.
I mean, that way they
would never be seen together.
That is brilliantly sneaky.
Yeah.
Find out how long those
two have been friends.
Copy.
Hello. Mm-hm.
Oh, that sounds amazing.
Yeah, I'd love to.
K. See you soon.
Our crypto billionaire
heard I'm looking for him.
I appreciate you meeting me here.
I like to avoid prying eyes.
- Oh, yeah? Local NIMBYs got you in their sights?
- Oh.
Wow.
You wouldn't believe some of the stuff
I've heard Jack Sallinger
gets up to.
Though I gather that you managed
to win over
one of the local detractors.
Sebastian Kent?
Yeah.
We, uh-We had a rocky start,
but once we met,
we were fine.
I just hoped that him
supporting my building plans
didn't have anything to do
with what happened, you know?
Well, why would that get him killed?
Uh, because some
of these people are nuts.
There's a reason
I got CCTV running 24-7.
I gave the police a copy
of the last month's tapes
in case there was anything helpful.
Was there any particular nutter
giving him problems?
Ngaire Green is the obvious candidate,
but you'll already know that.
Look, I get why Sebastian
got up people's noses.
He had a sharp tongue.
But he was a friend to me.
He even helped me with my novel.
So not content to be a cryptocurrency
mogul,
he writes and he paints too.
That is beautiful. I can't get over
it. Is there anything you can't do?
Yes. Yes. Get the local council
to approve my building plans.
You'd think in this day and age,
people would respect your
concern for climate catastrophe.
Right? I'm investing
in the future of the human race.
You want people like me
around to rebuild.
Well, if you don't mind my saying,
this place is
absolutely spectacular.
May I have a tour?
Well, I don't mind at all.
And yes, you may.
I needed a big chunk of land
to sustain a vertical garden,
but I made the mistake
of clearing native bush.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, and then Ngaire Green,
she got it in her head that construction
would affect land stability,
and now she's hellbent
on blocking whatever I wanna do.
- That sounds about right.
- Check this out.
Thank you.
- So no bunker.
- Oh, everything's postponed.
But it looks like you were underway.
You see the archery range over there?
They can't stop my survival training.
And so far, I'm good at almost
hitting trees.
You think of everything.
I do.
Look, I got a call with Tokyo, but
why don't you come back tomorrow?
I'll take you up to
where the helipad will be.
Sure, I'd love that.
Me too.
Hello again.
Alexa. Hello.
Why didn't you tell me that
you and Ngaire were best buds?
I kept it a secret
because Sebastian hated her.
So Sebastian was allowed to
control who you were friends with?
Not exactly.
There was a history with he and Ngaire.
Oh, I thought I was getting a rejected
lover vibe from her.
So what happened?
- Jack Sallinger.
- Interesting fellow.
Interesting? He's an up-himself idiot.
Somehow Jack and Sebastian
became drinking buddies.
And then suddenly Sebastian was
publicly supporting his building plans.
- All of it, and Ngaire was devastated.
- Right.
So she dumped him.
Well, how did Sebastian feel
about that? Was he upset? Angry?
More interested in boasting
that Jack had offered him a place
in the bunker when it was built.
Jack Sallinger loves surrounding
himself with famous people.
It feeds his ridiculous ego.
So what did Sebastian see in him?
Everyone has a price.
The dollar signs are big
enough; we all forget our ethics.
So Adele and Ngaire remained
friends, but on the downlow.
They didn't wanna upset
poor, sensitive Sebastian.
But if Adele wanted to kill him,
well, surely there's easier ways, right?
I mean, she had access to his schedule
to his food, to his drink.
Then why go to all the palaver
of putting him in a statue?
- Harry, Beth. Beth, Harry.
- Hi., Hey.
What you got for me?
Nothing.
I just wanted to see the new girl.
Madison speaks very highly of you.
Aw, I love her.
We met in Stardew Valley.
Can't say I've heard of it.
- Wait, you met on a game?
- Mm-hm.
- Have you ever met her in real life?
- Not yet. But Madison is iconic.
K, watch out. It's hot.
- So the sculptor.
- Anything I missed?
Our billionaire prepper
thinks she's mad enough to do it.
Ah,
so you've met old mate Jack Sallinger.
Mm.
- What did you think?
- Terrible painter, thinks he's great.
But he is building a ventilation system
that he didn't want me anywhere near.
Ventilation. The number
one pre-req for a survival bunker.
The bunker he can't get
permission to build, so
Ooh.
Maybe he's building
an underground rat-breeding lab.
Rats are ideal microlivestock
in apocalyptic times.
Well,
I suppose if they're bred properly,
they could be a good source of protein.
Exactly.
Well, he may not have his bunker,
but he's definitely hiding something.
Why would a guy with all that power
and cash
risk it all by killing someone?
- Boredom. Revenge.
- Notoriety. Fun.
- Bread and butter.
- All right.
Well, the last thing we want is an angry
billionaire
making our lives difficult.
In other words, I can't piss him off,
but
that's why I've got you, right, Alexa?
Oh, don't worry.
Jack Sallinger thinks I'm lovely.
OK, so this is around 8.30.
It fits the story Jack told Harry.
Went to Sebastian's place,
had a drink,
came home early, parked in his garage.
- Well, maybe he's telling the truth.
- I'll soon find out.
Well, I should come.
I mean, you're not really down with
the whole Doomsday prepping thing.
Well, that's cos I'm not a lunatic
obsessed with the end of the world.
Yeah, but I bet
you've got a basic survival kit.
May have a torch around here somewhere.
You'll need to put this on.
Well, lucky I spent all that
time doing my hair this morning.
- Whoo-hoo!, You've done this before.
- Never like this.
- Where are you taking me?
- You'll find out.
- Can't believe this is all yours.
- We've seen nothing yet.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo!
- Oh, wow!
- Huh?
Well, congratulations on buying
the most spectacular view in the area.
Thanks.
Well, the helipad's a work in progress,
obviously,
but I'm up there all the time.
Can't do much
until the permit comes through.
Must be so frustrating to have
all this resistance to your vision.
Visionaries always
have to endure mockery
from those without ideas of their own.
- Right.
- Sebastian got it.
He was clever.
One of the scariest
things I've ever done was,
uh ask him to look at my novel.
Let me guess. Cyber thriller.
No. Hard-boiled crime.
Didn't even take me that long.
Sebastian said it
showed a lot of promise,
which-high praise coming from him.
Well, I'm looking forward
to reading it when it's published.
I'll send you a signed copy.
So what's the plan with these NIMBYs?
Well, everybody wants something.
So everyone has their price?,
You ever met anyone whodidn't?
Yeah. Me.
Mm?
I will pay you
anything
for that bread recipe.
Well, how about I just give it to you?
Well, you're going to need
bread-baking skills down in that bunker.
Oh, you keep that up,
I'm gonna think you're
angling for a place down there with me.
Guess who has an appeal the decision
on his bunker plans
for over a year.
So he already has a
bunker and screw the permits.
Mm-hm.
And if he does it on the downlow,
the locals can't do a thing.
And the cops can't search
a place they don't know exists.
I always say the best murder site
is one that no one knows is there.
Sebastian was offered
a place in Jack's bunker.
The bunker that hadn't been built yet.
Well, I suppose he thought
he'd win the battle to build.
So when Sebastian went up there,
did he say anything about it?
Had he noticed anything?
I mean, a show-off's
gotta show off, right?
- You think he was already building?
- Yeah, maybe.
Well, Seb didn't
mention anything. Sorry.
I thought you said
that he was fastidious
about the way he ordered his books?
About everything. Why?
This book. It's upside down.
Oh my God.
Ngaio Marsh.
All the other books
are alphabetised by surname.
- Why is this in with the Ns?
- How did I not notice that?
I mean, I've been in and out
of here pottering about.
- What's this?
- It turned up anonymously in a gift box
a while back.
Sebastian was convinced it was
a peace offering from Ngaire.
- And was it?
- I don't like to cast aspersions.
For God's sake, Adele.
This book, of all books,
was left out of place.
That's not a coincidence.
A message from the grave?
OK, so on the night he died, Sebastian
was in here drinking with Jack,
and at some point, he was drugged.
And he starts to feel that something's
wrong, so he staggers in here,
and he's desperately trying to find
the book clue for you, Adele.
But the killer notices,
and they pick it up,
and before they drag Sebastian away,
they put it back. Only they
put it back in the wrong place.
Leaving a clue without even knowing it.
Right.
Telling me that it was Ngaire?
I'm actually working, if you don't mind.
Did you give Sebastian this book?
So what if I did? Better than
a flaming poo in a box, isn't it?
- What about this?
- It's Latin.
'A rich man is either a knave
or the heir of a knave.'
And a knave is another name
for a jack in the deck of cards.
So what is this? A warning
to stay away from Sallinger?
- It's a shame Sebastian ignored it.
- Still, they deserved each other.
Entitled egomaniacs.
Now, if you don't mind.
Adele's story pans out.
Now, if Ngaire did it,
it'd be in a rage.
A messy crime of passion,
not meticulously planned out.
Meticulous planning points to Adele.
OK. So we have an email
from Adele to Sebastian.
Should I read
Jack Sallinger's manuscript too?
And Sebastian's reply,
I would never do that to you.
It's hours of your life
you'll never get back.
Wait. I thought you said
Sebastian liked Jack's novel.
No, Jack said Sebastian liked it.
Mind you, according to Jack,
I also fancy the pants off him, so
Ooh.
You know, this book
Ngaire's warning to Sebastian
is all about
a millionaire trying to build a mansion.
Really?
So is the warning from
the grave about Ngaire
or Jack?
The knave.
I think we take a trip out there
tomorrow, see if there's a bunker or not.
- We?
- Wear something comfortable.
Yes.
Beth? You still breathing?
Flashbacks to Navy training drills,
but I'm OK.
OK. I've accessed his
security system and jammed the CCTV.
No one will notice the same
footage on loop for an hour.
Attagirl.
- Alexa.
- I've been looking forward to this.
- Me too.
- Come on in.
- Now, this is the important bit.
- This is your sourdough starter.
You've got to think
of it like a pet bacteria
that you have to feed to keep it alive.
I've even named her for you.
This is Martha, after Martha Stewart.
The ex-felon? What are you implying?
Well, if you had spent all
your millions saving the world,
I would have called it Gandhi.
Hey.
I do my bit.
Oh, I know you do.
Anyway, Martha ought to expand
to twice her size.
You've just got to feed her
every eight hours,
a little bit of flour, maybe a little
bit of water,
and that's about it.
So now we wait.
What do we do while we wait?
I mean, I'd have lunch made,
but I give the staff weekends off.
- You do value your privacy.
- Exactly.
I mean, what if I wanna, you know,
invite someone over on a date
or, uh
plan a murder?
I don't know
which I should be more afraid of.
The latter obviously.
This is from my own vineyard.
A vintner now. Why am I not surprised?
Sorry. I need to take this.
Yeah, of course.
Yes?
- Yeah, no. Great, great.
- Let's talk tomorrow.
You're not leaving?
I'm sorry. I just realised the time.
But look, leave Martha out,
feed her tonight
and I'll be back to
check in the morning.
Was it the wine?
No, I know it wasn't the wine.
I know it wasn't my company.
Both were perfect. See you tomorrow.
- Beth?
- The CCTV is now reactivated.
There is no evidence
that I was ever here.
Excellent.
So our 'Jack' of all trades
has got himself a bunker after all.
Mm-hm.
An underground bunker is
the perfect place to stage a murder.
Now is there any way that
Jack Sallinger would be stupid enough
to write about suffocating
someone in a statue
and then actually do it in order
to prove a point to Sebastian.
He's that stupid.
- OK. So then why?
- Boredom.
Fun. Notoriety.
- That would be
- Ludicrous.
Impenetrable plot.
The twist at the end of this chapter
is more commonly seen in the work
of over-sexed high school students.
- Whoa. Harsh.
- That's Sebastian's feedback.
I had a history teacher
that used to mark essays like that.
But I mean, that was a teacher,
not a friend.
- Can you imagine a friend
- I know what happened.
Oh my! How she's grown.
I experimented with rye flour
due to its high amylase.
As you can see,
the results are impressive.
Well,
you're an expert after only one lesson.
That's not intimidating at all!
So now that you know all my secrets,
why don't you tell me one of yours?
I noticed that your ventilation
systems are working.
Jack, do you have a bunker already?
Once a cop, always a cop, huh?
Oh, come on.
I won't tell anyone obviously.
I just wanna see it.
Bet it's incredible.
Oh, you got me.
It still needs some finishing touches,
but
Sebastian was impressed
when I showed him.
Like you said, he was someone
who respected big ideas.
Oh my gosh. This place is incredible.
Well, this floor has six rooms,
but ultimately will be another 20 rooms.
For your special guests.
I wouldn't wanna be down
here without good company.
No, indeed.
We also have a lockdown feature
that secures the bunker
in case of attack
or a significant weather event.
There we are. You and I, locked
away from the rest of the world.
Well, isn't that fun?
Uh, next level up will be
a swimming pool, rec centre.
Level three is food storage
and the remaining floors,
water filtration and med bay,
but they're just big concrete
spaces at the moment.
Wow.
I bet that'd be a great place
to murder someone.
That's, uh-That's
That's pretty dark, Alexa.
Suffocating someone in a statue,
I mean, it doesn't get much darker.
What are you talking about?
You killed Sebastian.
Oh.
Oh,
I didn't-I didn't pick you for crazy.
Well, that was your first mistake.
I believe you drugged Sebastian
during one
of your wine club sessions at his house.
After you made the mistake of putting
the book away in the wrong place,
you led Sebastian out to your car.
Covered him up so there was no evidence
on your CCTV
of him arriving here,
and you could confidently hand over
the footage to the police.
Once he was inside the bunker,
no one would ever find him,
because no one knows this place exists.
You encased him in concrete.
And you watched him set,
then painted it with rust paint
to seal it and disguise
it as a sculpture.
Then you drove to the site
in the middle of the night.
No one was around, and besides,
people were used to seeing you
shipping materials back and forth.
You'd been doing it for months.
You knew a sculpture would put Ngaire
in the frame if the body was ever found,
but that was just insurance.
You placed your masterpiece
on public display.
But then
the flood.
Oh, you must be furious
when the statue dislodged.
I mean, it could have survived, but
God, it was just so poorly made,
I mean
What did you do? Watch a YouTube
video on how to make a sculpture?
Oh, this is ludicrous.
I mean, this is
- laughable.
- Like the plot of your novel.
Isn't that what Sebastian said?
Ludicrous, yeah. Ludicrous.
But you showed him.
I mean, really,
you showed him, didn't you?
This was almost
the perfect murder. Mm-hm.
And it was a just punishment for
someone who would criticise your work.
You're an idiot if you think
anybody will believe any of this.
I'm not amazing at everything,
like you, Jack,
but I'm pretty good at
putting together a case.
You got conjecture,
and I've got an
army of lawyers who will destroy you.
I'm sure the cops when they enter this
bunker,
that they don't know exists,
will find all the evidence they need.
If you really think I'm a murderer,
why did you come down here?
You're in a prison no one knows about.
I have this new friend,
well, associate, Beth.
She follows me around everywhere.
I cannot
shake her. She's upstairs as we speak.
Great. Well, she can tell them
where to pick up your body, then.
Jack.
Jack.
You asked me this week,
what's my price?
To make this go away?
Well, you know, I can give you
anything you want.
Just name it.
I kind of want you to spend your entire
fortune
on a global marine sanctuary.
All right?
But as we've discovered,
I'm crazy.
Oh, good. She got the sourdough starter.
OK, let's move on in.
Good luck getting him out of there.
Always up for a challenge.
Here. You drive.
- Me?
- You.
If this is what you based your survival
plan on,
you might wanna reassess.
It's OK, Chowder.
They only eat people.
- Oh, hey!
- Hey.
We're just watching a zombie movie.
- It's so implausible.
- I don't know where to start.
Wait. You got Alexa to watch a
zombie movie? How did you do that?
I called it research.
I'm indulging her because
she comes highly recommended.
- You wanna watch this with us, Mads?
- Yeah. Go on.
Ooh. This is a good one. Nice choice.
Oh, thank you.
The picture of the killer,
- Lord Flight.
- Well, that makes things easier.
Todd Nicholson was found in the stall
with the horse standing over him.
There's no way Flighty
would've got hooves on him.
Toddy had the measure of him, eh?
We've come up with
an excellent cover story.
And if Todd threatened to go to the
police,
that'll be reason to kill him.
- Anything to confess?
- But I've got nothing to hide.
Looks like love to me.
- You think it's a crime of passion?
- Jealous mare.
So, if you wanna arrest me,
you go ahead.
Look, can we stop faffing
around or should I go?
Hyah!