Portlandia (2011) s03e02 Episode Script
Take Back MTV
Hey, Josh, I thought I saw you over there.
Hey.
How are you? Uh, not great.
I mean, I'm moving back home.
So am I.
I mean, kinda seems like we all are.
Yeah, I was in the city for, like, six moths after I graduated college.
There is no work.
I kind of feel like our whole generation got screwed.
Yeah, I don't I know what it was.
The banks--? I know.
I feel like we need to mobilize.
Like in the '60s there was Woodstock, there was Joan baez.
Like, people rallied around something.
There was a protest song.
Yeah.
Attention, unemployed millennials.
Hi, Bot-Dylan.
Check out this protest anthem and see what you think.
It's time for this generation to stand up our future's being traded on the NASDAQ-- What? Change the world one party at a time roll up in the club 'cause we're V.
I.
P.
work that body all night 'cause it feels right to me Okay, you guys, you guys, stop.
What were we doing? Oh, right.
Something political.
We've been given a raw deal had to take a big step backwards now you're dancing electric slide keep sliding slide toward your future now change the world one party at a time mind eraser shots with a twist of lime Damn it.
Happened again.
Oh, guys, we cannot be doing mind eraser shots.
This is going to do it.
Okay, ukulele player, simple songs.
She's great.
So many hotties up in this piece You know, I'm more mad at myself than anything else.
It's okay.
I know what you mean.
I take responsibility, too.
We can't just reinvent the wheel.
Maybe we just get an original group from the '60s.
They knew what they were doing.
We obviously don't.
We are the flower children leaves, they are-- change the world one party at a time Hey, guys, look! Dance tent.
Whoo! Okay, everybody, grab a seat.
We're going to go downtown.
We're going to get your mug shots and fingerprints.
You know what? Any cooperation we get from you would be greatly appreciated.
The best thing about The Bachelor is when the villain of the show wins-- I'm not a bachelor.
The Bachelor is a TV show on network TV.
What? I don't even own a TV.
I don't have a TV.
Coming up on MTV.
Teen Mom premiere's on an all-new night starting at 9:00, followed by My Super Sweet 16.
What? Then Snack Time with @sk8erd00d.
What happened? MTV has been compromised.
Okay.
'Kay, plugged in the TV.
I mean, it said MTV.
The logo was there.
I mean, I looked this close to the screen to see if I was looking at the right thing.
I hate to break it to you, but it's been like that for years.
Why isn't everyone freaking out about it? Because they don't know any different.
Because they've been spoon-fed these garbage shows.
It's just like all these people getting out of limos and Sweet 16 this and pregnant and all these, like, parties and-- Who's watching that? Remember it used to be just music videos and 120 Minutes and, like, VJs and everything? Remember MTV music news, with the satellite--.
The day Kurt Cobain died, and Kurt Loder got on MTV, and he teared up? I mean, that was a huge moment.
It was the town square.
Do people even know about rocking the vote anymore? Rock the vote.
Ch-ch.
People used to just really rock the shit out of the vote.
Yeah, they'd take that vote, and they would rock it.
It's like they don't even know what they're missing.
Let's take back MTV, me and you.
Why not? We can do it.
Why now? I mean, it's been-- Why now? By the way, I'm not yelling at you.
I'm saying "Why now?" Kind of metaphor-- you know, just, like, it's a bigger picture.
I mean, it's not you.
This is the quietest you've ever talked to me.
Governments have been overthrown in the middle east.
If they can do it, why can't we do it? We're old.
We're not old.
Well, we are kind of.
Look at your hair.
Come on.
Come on.
Okay, I'm just--I'm just saying-- Look.
I mean.
Yeah, I can see your point.
We march in there and we say, "you don't control the network.
" What we need is this monolithic entity that says, "we are music.
Let's go forth.
" Iris, we've got to take back MTV.
I'm with you, Spike.
Yeah! I want my MTV.
Let's go right now.
Also, we've got to get somebody to take care of the cats, and we need someone to water the plants.
What plants? Okay, everyone, let's be seated.
Namaste.
Today we will begin the practice of vipassana meditation.
At first it may seem somewhat passive, but after hour four or five, a more active, transformative experience starts to take over.
So to begin with, we'll just sit comfortably, and with our eyes open, looking straight ahead, you'll just settle in to the silence.
All right, just let the day go.
Okay, don't think about work.
You'll feel your breath going in and out.
Huh, is he looking at me? Wow, he has really nice eyes.
Oh, he probably rides a motorcycle.
Feel your place in the state.
Imagine your place.
Okay, he is looking at me.
Oh, he is totally making eye contact.
Okay, just focus on him.
And your awareness will expand until you feel your place in the universe.
I want this.
I love you.
Okay, namaste.
Just gradually return your awareness to yourself.
And welcome back.
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? You know, we pay $40 a session, and there's a 2:00, supposed to be at 7:00.
I come on Monday, and there's no class.
Sorry, I don't set the schedule.
What can I do to make it-- Well, somebody's gotta-- I want my money back.
That's all.
I want my money back, 'cause I'm about to walk out of these things.
I'm sure I'm not the only person who's dissatisfied.
Now, sweetie over here, the pretty woman over there, I'm sure she's got the same complaints.
I was lookin' at her.
I wanna think of things.
I wanna use my imagination when I'm sittin' there with my ass on a pillow.
I wanna do that.
You should have a warning.
There's something you should say, and that's not what I was told.
Namaste.
Hi.
I'm Royce.
And I'm Alisha.
And I'm her boss.
You're all familiar with the drawbacks of cow's milk.
Don't drink cow's milk.
Use alternatives like soy milk, rice milk, almond milk.
Those are actually not that great for you.
There's an alternative.
We recommend zucchini milk.
Processing and making zucchini milk-- Zucchini milk.
It involves taking the pulp-- The pulp.
And making-- Making-- Mixing it with water.
Tastes just like fresh zucchini.
He's my boss.
I am her boss.
What does "boss" mean exactly? Doesn't matter.
We're coworkers, but I'm the boss.
We love you.
You must be Spike.
Oh, hi.
Terry Melville.
How are you, sir? So great to meet you, Terry.
We got your letter.
We're all excited about your MTV project.
And I gotta tell ya, uh, those earrings, are they killing you? Do they hurt you at all? Oh, I don't even think about them.
Looks real painful, but I've assembled a group of people in here that are the greatest minds in philanthropy, and they're all excited about your project with MTV.
Would you like to meet them? That would be great.
So we have Annie E.
Casey of the Annie E.
Casey Foundation.
Robert wood Johnson, Robert wood Johnson foundation.
Over here we have John D.
and Catherine T.
MacArthur, and in the back we've got John S.
and James L.
Knight of the John S.
and James L.
Knight Foundation, and-- uh, here he comes.
Mr.
like you, I'd like you to meet Spike.
Hello, I'm viewers like you.
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
Everything's brought to you by viewers like you.
We're really, really excited to be part of your project.
Hey, everybody, raise your glasses to Spike's MTV dreams.
Skaal.
I want my MTV Maybe because she's crazy.
Call you back.
Kurt Loder? Yes.
Hey.
Hi, Tabitha Soren? Yeah.
We have a mission for you.
Tell me more.
Matt Pinfield? I'll do it.
Oh, that was easy.
Kurt, Matt, Tabitha, thanks for helping us with this plan to take back MTV.
It's about walking in there like we own it because we do-- because you guys do.
You built it.
The people own it.
That's your house.
MTV's been taken over by tweens, and this elite squad's going to help us get it back to where it was.
Here's our plan.
Okay, we did some research.
We found out that MTV is mostly likely shot in a city called New York City.
Yes.
Yeah.
- You know this.
- Yeah, we worked there.
Y-- Right, they worked there, - so, you see, you guys lived there.
- Yeah, we were there.
Okay, all right.
Second floor studio.
I've got a lot of--got a lot of the statue of liberty.
Let me get through some of these.
You guys been to the statue of liberty? Uh-- it's far away from MTV.
It is.
Okay.
I don't know how this-- how are we supposed to pull this off? I mean, I know we can.
Kurt.
I think Matt will get us into the building.
Okay.
What's the next step? Does anyone have any special skills? I can be sardonic.
Are you going to pay moving expenses for my family? Because I have three children now, and-- can we do a two out of three? They're tweens, so they might know how to make the transition easier.
We could use that.
And I have a tween who's 13 down south, so I'll need you guys to fly her in and out to visit to play with Tabitha's tweens.
What are tweens exactly? Do you all know what tweens are? I also have a housing thing.
I live in New York, but I want to live in a bigger place.
That's what I want.
I think we can do this.
My blood is pumping.
Kurt, do a news story about it.
What's the headline? I think I see "MTV headquarters was invaded "by a band of music liberation people, and Tabitha Soren has the story.
" I'm down here on the first floor of 1515 Broadway, and I see a band of adults, it looks like, busting through security.
I'm not sure what's going to happen next.
We'll let you know.
That's the news for now.
D-d-d-d-d boom boom boom boom D-d-d-d-d.
dum dum dum Yes! Yeah! Get back on your thrones.
I mean, I'm in.
Well, you're in.
And speaking of urine, we're going to Manhattan.
We are here to discuss a proposal to rename northeast 15th Avenue.
Now, before we start, I need to run down a few criteria.
City streets may only be renamed after a prominent person.
Such prominent person must be one, a person who's achieved prominence as a result of his or her significant positive contribution to the United States of America and or the local community, two-- a real person, and three-- a person who has been deceased for at least five years.
So without further ado I open the meeting up to suggestions.
Yes, sir.
Hi, uh, I'm Malcolm singer.
This is my wife Chris.
Hi, guys.
What was the second piece of criteria? The second-- uh, real person.
So it has to be a real person.
Yeah.
Okay, so I know that thatperson, but for 15th Avenue, which is a beautiful street, I thought, what if we do film history Avenue? Didn't he just say a real person? But there are real people who are in film history.
Call me a traditionalist-- You're a traditionalist.
I was addressing him.
But thank you.
What I would like to do is go ahead and plan to vote on renaming the street after Dr.
Martin Luther king, Jr.
Is that okay? It's fine with me.
Um, do you know we already have an MLK.
It would be double the honor.
I think it's confusing.
Is there a Martin Luther King, Sr.
we could do instead? I was thinking more Mel Blanc or Ken Kesey.
Can we do music street? What does this say? "Real person.
" Thank you.
So we're not doing cartoon characters or anything in our imagination.
This guy's got some great ideas.
Well, let's hear some.
The other morning I just came up with kugupu.
Oh, this is good.
K-u-g-u-p-u.
It's a sort of floating, lava-ish sort of orb.
You should see what I'm picturing.
I could barely describe it because it's so colorful.
And I really don't mean to throw cold water on your idea, but it's not a real person.
It's not a real person.
And that is one of the parameters that we have to stay within.
There is one episode where all the kids come up to kugupu.
They're like, "kugupu, you're not a real person," and he's like, "actually, I am.
" So he is.
I don't like "kugubu.
" I have been reading Steve Jobs' biography.
It talks about how he went to Reed college in southeast Portland his freshman year.
Some more water.
Can you get me in? Sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Are you going to hog the floor the entire night? Why don't we do this? Why don't we call 15th Avenue-- Leave it as is, but in parentheses write "Northeast 14th Avenue"? Did you even think that through? No, I did not.
Turn left on Martin Luther king, Sr.
, Mel Blanc, kugupu, Steve Jobs, Ken Kesey, Music, Film History, Calligraphy Street.
All right, Cath, is the leveler-- Should it be straight completely? Does it matter? I just want to be in the back doing mallet tricks.
Okay.
Hey, I'm Dave.
I'm Cath.
And we just purchased something called the polar ii tent.
It's lightweight.
The fabric is polyester-- polyester taffeta.
Dan, from time to time, I want to give you little pointers and suggestions on how to edit this.
Edit those parts out.
Okay, let's build the tent.
That goes on the ground.
Make sure there's no dust.
Just fade in the words "Part I-- setting up your tent, mapping it out.
" What you want to do is map out your tent map on the ground.
We've made that mistake hundreds of times.
Not hundreds of times.
I just think that we've made that mistake one time.
Doy.
We're going to start out with the poles.
And this is just kind of a magic trick that happens.
If you just keep waving it around until it forms the shape that you want.
Maybe put some classical music, Like-- Watch out for my eyes.
The rods extend over the tent, and you'll clip them in like so.
Find the circular grommet, put the spike in, and hammer it down.
Okay, so you got your tent set up.
Make sure-- once again, there's a lot of things that can happen where, like, you can get hit by the wind-- and this does double-- this is a wind-powered-- Hey, Aaron buddy, how long have you been back there? Aaron! Buddy, we're trying to make a video.
Do you not see the camera? Hey, Mickey! He's doing it to irritate us.
You're using the backdrop of my beautiful garden.
Give us 20 minutes.
A little privacy, please.
So it's got a front and a back.
Remember, you don't want to put this on top of your car.
Dan, put a laugh track there.
So just use that as a laugh track.
Try to think sort of medium-sized theatre.
And you'll see it doesn't have the most traditional shape, as far as a tent goes.
Hey! Aaron! Stop it! Put that finger down.
God damn it.
Anyway-- anyway-- anyway-- anyway-- How much longer are you going to be-- You're ruining our tent video! I know, I know.
You're ruining the tent video.
I don't want to have to start from the beginning again.
I'm sorry I'm ruining the tent video.
Train's coming through.
What else can go wrong? Where's the other Spike? Are all the Spikes there? Hey, so once you got your tent set up, you can open up the zipper and go on in.
I'm done.
I'm really, really sorry.
Make this tent video on your own.
I assume you're smiling and you're sympathetic to how hard it is for me, too.
I really need you right now.
Come here.
Dan, edit this part out.
Is he over there? Is he over there? Get out! Dan, this whole part-- Don't even put it on by mistake.
Okay? YouTube users do not want to see this kind of thing.
They want to see a concise video.
I want it deleted and erased.
I don't know how you do it in your editing booth.
Dave? Yeah.
I'm trapped.
I want my MTV I want my MTV I want my, I want my I want my MTV Hi there.
I want my MTV.
Wait.
What? We're here to take over.
What? What? What's up, you guys? We're counting down the top ten healthy snacks to have after school.
Frosty.
What's up, man? How's the family? We're back.
We're taking over the station and make it what it once was.
Benefits and everything are pretty much gonna be the same.
You're going to love this.
It's gonna bring back a lot of memories.
Check this out.
Ready? Okay.
Let's do it.
Take back MTV? Take back the youth-oriented channel from the youth? Have you been watching your own channel? It's garbage.
I don't even know what it is.
It's a mess.
Music is dead.
Cable TV has 500 more channels since you were last watching.
But music is dead because you killed it.
You're killing it.
I don't know who raised you or how you got here, but that's not nice.
The tweens have taken control.
Yeah, but we're taking control.
No.
Yes.
We're in your office.
We invaded your space.
Now what? You're gonna call security? It's not gonna work.
Trish, can you hook these guys up with, like, some swag? This is what happens when we're rolling into seventh grade.
Is it unfair? Do I need a babysitter? Show is cancelled.
Excuse me.
Dude-- All right, guys, this is a revolution.
You know what time it is now? It's right now.
That's what time it is.
It's our time again.
We used to watch shows like 120 Minutes to see cool bands.
Yeah, like Sonic Youth.
Here's the first thing.
Sonic Youth-- the people are, like, 50 years old.
But they're musicians.
They're still relevant.
They're dumb.
They are? Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore are divorced, and you're just the orphans left behind.
I suggest that you and your little friend turn right around and get the hell out of my office.
- Yeah? - T-minus four, three, two, one Look, Iris.
I'm too depressed.
No, look! Liftoff.
We did it.
Look at that.
What are you gonna do now? Now what are you gonna do? Huh? Just get out of my face.
You're going to learn so much about music.
You're going to be so excited.
Why would I want to watch that? Because that's-- that's it.
We won.
Good luck.
Watch that.
Security, what the heck is On my screen right now? There's, like, a bald man, a weird looking lady, and another weird looking man.
What's that doing on my TV? We made it.
I cannot believe it.
Awesome, awesome, yeah.
Yeah, Kurt Loder.
Tabitha Soren.
Whoo! Matt Pinfield.
Yay.
Get used to the faces.
We're here 24/7.
Music videos from start to fin-- So all he wants to do is play.
He's, like, yellow and blue, and he changes colors whenever he's scared.
Two marbles as friends and a-- they're like-- they're twins.
He's got a pulsing purple light inside him that only comes out whenever he's lying, so everyone's like, "kugupu.
" Kugubu.
Hey.
How are you? Uh, not great.
I mean, I'm moving back home.
So am I.
I mean, kinda seems like we all are.
Yeah, I was in the city for, like, six moths after I graduated college.
There is no work.
I kind of feel like our whole generation got screwed.
Yeah, I don't I know what it was.
The banks--? I know.
I feel like we need to mobilize.
Like in the '60s there was Woodstock, there was Joan baez.
Like, people rallied around something.
There was a protest song.
Yeah.
Attention, unemployed millennials.
Hi, Bot-Dylan.
Check out this protest anthem and see what you think.
It's time for this generation to stand up our future's being traded on the NASDAQ-- What? Change the world one party at a time roll up in the club 'cause we're V.
I.
P.
work that body all night 'cause it feels right to me Okay, you guys, you guys, stop.
What were we doing? Oh, right.
Something political.
We've been given a raw deal had to take a big step backwards now you're dancing electric slide keep sliding slide toward your future now change the world one party at a time mind eraser shots with a twist of lime Damn it.
Happened again.
Oh, guys, we cannot be doing mind eraser shots.
This is going to do it.
Okay, ukulele player, simple songs.
She's great.
So many hotties up in this piece You know, I'm more mad at myself than anything else.
It's okay.
I know what you mean.
I take responsibility, too.
We can't just reinvent the wheel.
Maybe we just get an original group from the '60s.
They knew what they were doing.
We obviously don't.
We are the flower children leaves, they are-- change the world one party at a time Hey, guys, look! Dance tent.
Whoo! Okay, everybody, grab a seat.
We're going to go downtown.
We're going to get your mug shots and fingerprints.
You know what? Any cooperation we get from you would be greatly appreciated.
The best thing about The Bachelor is when the villain of the show wins-- I'm not a bachelor.
The Bachelor is a TV show on network TV.
What? I don't even own a TV.
I don't have a TV.
Coming up on MTV.
Teen Mom premiere's on an all-new night starting at 9:00, followed by My Super Sweet 16.
What? Then Snack Time with @sk8erd00d.
What happened? MTV has been compromised.
Okay.
'Kay, plugged in the TV.
I mean, it said MTV.
The logo was there.
I mean, I looked this close to the screen to see if I was looking at the right thing.
I hate to break it to you, but it's been like that for years.
Why isn't everyone freaking out about it? Because they don't know any different.
Because they've been spoon-fed these garbage shows.
It's just like all these people getting out of limos and Sweet 16 this and pregnant and all these, like, parties and-- Who's watching that? Remember it used to be just music videos and 120 Minutes and, like, VJs and everything? Remember MTV music news, with the satellite--.
The day Kurt Cobain died, and Kurt Loder got on MTV, and he teared up? I mean, that was a huge moment.
It was the town square.
Do people even know about rocking the vote anymore? Rock the vote.
Ch-ch.
People used to just really rock the shit out of the vote.
Yeah, they'd take that vote, and they would rock it.
It's like they don't even know what they're missing.
Let's take back MTV, me and you.
Why not? We can do it.
Why now? I mean, it's been-- Why now? By the way, I'm not yelling at you.
I'm saying "Why now?" Kind of metaphor-- you know, just, like, it's a bigger picture.
I mean, it's not you.
This is the quietest you've ever talked to me.
Governments have been overthrown in the middle east.
If they can do it, why can't we do it? We're old.
We're not old.
Well, we are kind of.
Look at your hair.
Come on.
Come on.
Okay, I'm just--I'm just saying-- Look.
I mean.
Yeah, I can see your point.
We march in there and we say, "you don't control the network.
" What we need is this monolithic entity that says, "we are music.
Let's go forth.
" Iris, we've got to take back MTV.
I'm with you, Spike.
Yeah! I want my MTV.
Let's go right now.
Also, we've got to get somebody to take care of the cats, and we need someone to water the plants.
What plants? Okay, everyone, let's be seated.
Namaste.
Today we will begin the practice of vipassana meditation.
At first it may seem somewhat passive, but after hour four or five, a more active, transformative experience starts to take over.
So to begin with, we'll just sit comfortably, and with our eyes open, looking straight ahead, you'll just settle in to the silence.
All right, just let the day go.
Okay, don't think about work.
You'll feel your breath going in and out.
Huh, is he looking at me? Wow, he has really nice eyes.
Oh, he probably rides a motorcycle.
Feel your place in the state.
Imagine your place.
Okay, he is looking at me.
Oh, he is totally making eye contact.
Okay, just focus on him.
And your awareness will expand until you feel your place in the universe.
I want this.
I love you.
Okay, namaste.
Just gradually return your awareness to yourself.
And welcome back.
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? You know, we pay $40 a session, and there's a 2:00, supposed to be at 7:00.
I come on Monday, and there's no class.
Sorry, I don't set the schedule.
What can I do to make it-- Well, somebody's gotta-- I want my money back.
That's all.
I want my money back, 'cause I'm about to walk out of these things.
I'm sure I'm not the only person who's dissatisfied.
Now, sweetie over here, the pretty woman over there, I'm sure she's got the same complaints.
I was lookin' at her.
I wanna think of things.
I wanna use my imagination when I'm sittin' there with my ass on a pillow.
I wanna do that.
You should have a warning.
There's something you should say, and that's not what I was told.
Namaste.
Hi.
I'm Royce.
And I'm Alisha.
And I'm her boss.
You're all familiar with the drawbacks of cow's milk.
Don't drink cow's milk.
Use alternatives like soy milk, rice milk, almond milk.
Those are actually not that great for you.
There's an alternative.
We recommend zucchini milk.
Processing and making zucchini milk-- Zucchini milk.
It involves taking the pulp-- The pulp.
And making-- Making-- Mixing it with water.
Tastes just like fresh zucchini.
He's my boss.
I am her boss.
What does "boss" mean exactly? Doesn't matter.
We're coworkers, but I'm the boss.
We love you.
You must be Spike.
Oh, hi.
Terry Melville.
How are you, sir? So great to meet you, Terry.
We got your letter.
We're all excited about your MTV project.
And I gotta tell ya, uh, those earrings, are they killing you? Do they hurt you at all? Oh, I don't even think about them.
Looks real painful, but I've assembled a group of people in here that are the greatest minds in philanthropy, and they're all excited about your project with MTV.
Would you like to meet them? That would be great.
So we have Annie E.
Casey of the Annie E.
Casey Foundation.
Robert wood Johnson, Robert wood Johnson foundation.
Over here we have John D.
and Catherine T.
MacArthur, and in the back we've got John S.
and James L.
Knight of the John S.
and James L.
Knight Foundation, and-- uh, here he comes.
Mr.
like you, I'd like you to meet Spike.
Hello, I'm viewers like you.
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
Everything's brought to you by viewers like you.
We're really, really excited to be part of your project.
Hey, everybody, raise your glasses to Spike's MTV dreams.
Skaal.
I want my MTV Maybe because she's crazy.
Call you back.
Kurt Loder? Yes.
Hey.
Hi, Tabitha Soren? Yeah.
We have a mission for you.
Tell me more.
Matt Pinfield? I'll do it.
Oh, that was easy.
Kurt, Matt, Tabitha, thanks for helping us with this plan to take back MTV.
It's about walking in there like we own it because we do-- because you guys do.
You built it.
The people own it.
That's your house.
MTV's been taken over by tweens, and this elite squad's going to help us get it back to where it was.
Here's our plan.
Okay, we did some research.
We found out that MTV is mostly likely shot in a city called New York City.
Yes.
Yeah.
- You know this.
- Yeah, we worked there.
Y-- Right, they worked there, - so, you see, you guys lived there.
- Yeah, we were there.
Okay, all right.
Second floor studio.
I've got a lot of--got a lot of the statue of liberty.
Let me get through some of these.
You guys been to the statue of liberty? Uh-- it's far away from MTV.
It is.
Okay.
I don't know how this-- how are we supposed to pull this off? I mean, I know we can.
Kurt.
I think Matt will get us into the building.
Okay.
What's the next step? Does anyone have any special skills? I can be sardonic.
Are you going to pay moving expenses for my family? Because I have three children now, and-- can we do a two out of three? They're tweens, so they might know how to make the transition easier.
We could use that.
And I have a tween who's 13 down south, so I'll need you guys to fly her in and out to visit to play with Tabitha's tweens.
What are tweens exactly? Do you all know what tweens are? I also have a housing thing.
I live in New York, but I want to live in a bigger place.
That's what I want.
I think we can do this.
My blood is pumping.
Kurt, do a news story about it.
What's the headline? I think I see "MTV headquarters was invaded "by a band of music liberation people, and Tabitha Soren has the story.
" I'm down here on the first floor of 1515 Broadway, and I see a band of adults, it looks like, busting through security.
I'm not sure what's going to happen next.
We'll let you know.
That's the news for now.
D-d-d-d-d boom boom boom boom D-d-d-d-d.
dum dum dum Yes! Yeah! Get back on your thrones.
I mean, I'm in.
Well, you're in.
And speaking of urine, we're going to Manhattan.
We are here to discuss a proposal to rename northeast 15th Avenue.
Now, before we start, I need to run down a few criteria.
City streets may only be renamed after a prominent person.
Such prominent person must be one, a person who's achieved prominence as a result of his or her significant positive contribution to the United States of America and or the local community, two-- a real person, and three-- a person who has been deceased for at least five years.
So without further ado I open the meeting up to suggestions.
Yes, sir.
Hi, uh, I'm Malcolm singer.
This is my wife Chris.
Hi, guys.
What was the second piece of criteria? The second-- uh, real person.
So it has to be a real person.
Yeah.
Okay, so I know that thatperson, but for 15th Avenue, which is a beautiful street, I thought, what if we do film history Avenue? Didn't he just say a real person? But there are real people who are in film history.
Call me a traditionalist-- You're a traditionalist.
I was addressing him.
But thank you.
What I would like to do is go ahead and plan to vote on renaming the street after Dr.
Martin Luther king, Jr.
Is that okay? It's fine with me.
Um, do you know we already have an MLK.
It would be double the honor.
I think it's confusing.
Is there a Martin Luther King, Sr.
we could do instead? I was thinking more Mel Blanc or Ken Kesey.
Can we do music street? What does this say? "Real person.
" Thank you.
So we're not doing cartoon characters or anything in our imagination.
This guy's got some great ideas.
Well, let's hear some.
The other morning I just came up with kugupu.
Oh, this is good.
K-u-g-u-p-u.
It's a sort of floating, lava-ish sort of orb.
You should see what I'm picturing.
I could barely describe it because it's so colorful.
And I really don't mean to throw cold water on your idea, but it's not a real person.
It's not a real person.
And that is one of the parameters that we have to stay within.
There is one episode where all the kids come up to kugupu.
They're like, "kugupu, you're not a real person," and he's like, "actually, I am.
" So he is.
I don't like "kugubu.
" I have been reading Steve Jobs' biography.
It talks about how he went to Reed college in southeast Portland his freshman year.
Some more water.
Can you get me in? Sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Are you going to hog the floor the entire night? Why don't we do this? Why don't we call 15th Avenue-- Leave it as is, but in parentheses write "Northeast 14th Avenue"? Did you even think that through? No, I did not.
Turn left on Martin Luther king, Sr.
, Mel Blanc, kugupu, Steve Jobs, Ken Kesey, Music, Film History, Calligraphy Street.
All right, Cath, is the leveler-- Should it be straight completely? Does it matter? I just want to be in the back doing mallet tricks.
Okay.
Hey, I'm Dave.
I'm Cath.
And we just purchased something called the polar ii tent.
It's lightweight.
The fabric is polyester-- polyester taffeta.
Dan, from time to time, I want to give you little pointers and suggestions on how to edit this.
Edit those parts out.
Okay, let's build the tent.
That goes on the ground.
Make sure there's no dust.
Just fade in the words "Part I-- setting up your tent, mapping it out.
" What you want to do is map out your tent map on the ground.
We've made that mistake hundreds of times.
Not hundreds of times.
I just think that we've made that mistake one time.
Doy.
We're going to start out with the poles.
And this is just kind of a magic trick that happens.
If you just keep waving it around until it forms the shape that you want.
Maybe put some classical music, Like-- Watch out for my eyes.
The rods extend over the tent, and you'll clip them in like so.
Find the circular grommet, put the spike in, and hammer it down.
Okay, so you got your tent set up.
Make sure-- once again, there's a lot of things that can happen where, like, you can get hit by the wind-- and this does double-- this is a wind-powered-- Hey, Aaron buddy, how long have you been back there? Aaron! Buddy, we're trying to make a video.
Do you not see the camera? Hey, Mickey! He's doing it to irritate us.
You're using the backdrop of my beautiful garden.
Give us 20 minutes.
A little privacy, please.
So it's got a front and a back.
Remember, you don't want to put this on top of your car.
Dan, put a laugh track there.
So just use that as a laugh track.
Try to think sort of medium-sized theatre.
And you'll see it doesn't have the most traditional shape, as far as a tent goes.
Hey! Aaron! Stop it! Put that finger down.
God damn it.
Anyway-- anyway-- anyway-- anyway-- How much longer are you going to be-- You're ruining our tent video! I know, I know.
You're ruining the tent video.
I don't want to have to start from the beginning again.
I'm sorry I'm ruining the tent video.
Train's coming through.
What else can go wrong? Where's the other Spike? Are all the Spikes there? Hey, so once you got your tent set up, you can open up the zipper and go on in.
I'm done.
I'm really, really sorry.
Make this tent video on your own.
I assume you're smiling and you're sympathetic to how hard it is for me, too.
I really need you right now.
Come here.
Dan, edit this part out.
Is he over there? Is he over there? Get out! Dan, this whole part-- Don't even put it on by mistake.
Okay? YouTube users do not want to see this kind of thing.
They want to see a concise video.
I want it deleted and erased.
I don't know how you do it in your editing booth.
Dave? Yeah.
I'm trapped.
I want my MTV I want my MTV I want my, I want my I want my MTV Hi there.
I want my MTV.
Wait.
What? We're here to take over.
What? What? What's up, you guys? We're counting down the top ten healthy snacks to have after school.
Frosty.
What's up, man? How's the family? We're back.
We're taking over the station and make it what it once was.
Benefits and everything are pretty much gonna be the same.
You're going to love this.
It's gonna bring back a lot of memories.
Check this out.
Ready? Okay.
Let's do it.
Take back MTV? Take back the youth-oriented channel from the youth? Have you been watching your own channel? It's garbage.
I don't even know what it is.
It's a mess.
Music is dead.
Cable TV has 500 more channels since you were last watching.
But music is dead because you killed it.
You're killing it.
I don't know who raised you or how you got here, but that's not nice.
The tweens have taken control.
Yeah, but we're taking control.
No.
Yes.
We're in your office.
We invaded your space.
Now what? You're gonna call security? It's not gonna work.
Trish, can you hook these guys up with, like, some swag? This is what happens when we're rolling into seventh grade.
Is it unfair? Do I need a babysitter? Show is cancelled.
Excuse me.
Dude-- All right, guys, this is a revolution.
You know what time it is now? It's right now.
That's what time it is.
It's our time again.
We used to watch shows like 120 Minutes to see cool bands.
Yeah, like Sonic Youth.
Here's the first thing.
Sonic Youth-- the people are, like, 50 years old.
But they're musicians.
They're still relevant.
They're dumb.
They are? Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore are divorced, and you're just the orphans left behind.
I suggest that you and your little friend turn right around and get the hell out of my office.
- Yeah? - T-minus four, three, two, one Look, Iris.
I'm too depressed.
No, look! Liftoff.
We did it.
Look at that.
What are you gonna do now? Now what are you gonna do? Huh? Just get out of my face.
You're going to learn so much about music.
You're going to be so excited.
Why would I want to watch that? Because that's-- that's it.
We won.
Good luck.
Watch that.
Security, what the heck is On my screen right now? There's, like, a bald man, a weird looking lady, and another weird looking man.
What's that doing on my TV? We made it.
I cannot believe it.
Awesome, awesome, yeah.
Yeah, Kurt Loder.
Tabitha Soren.
Whoo! Matt Pinfield.
Yay.
Get used to the faces.
We're here 24/7.
Music videos from start to fin-- So all he wants to do is play.
He's, like, yellow and blue, and he changes colors whenever he's scared.
Two marbles as friends and a-- they're like-- they're twins.
He's got a pulsing purple light inside him that only comes out whenever he's lying, so everyone's like, "kugupu.
" Kugubu.