Rake (2010) s03e02 Episode Script
Season 3, Episode 2
For the love of Judith Christ, mate.
Do we have to have this conversation again? Hartford, Styles and Menzies? That's not a fucking appeal, but that's an inquisition.
A lot of people in your situation can find the loss of an appeal more devastating than the initial conviction.
Not with my parole hearing coming up.
The Parole Board does love a little bit of repentance.
Good thing I wrote that in the guidelines, eh? Arrgh! Fuck.
Oh I want to sing, Cleave.
That's what I want to do.
You're thick with the the Chief, aren't you? Yes, but maybe not so much now.
Live the dream.
Live the dream, my friend.
There may be a way around this.
What is it? Bearbung, Cleaver.
Bearbung.
Talk to me, Kieran.
Good luck with the appeal, Cleaver.
See you on the outside, fellas.
- Give 'em hell, Cleave.
Kick him in the nuts for me, mate.
Thanks, fellas.
I almost miss him.
Always good for a laugh.
No, not even in jest.
The man is a coke-addled sexual deviant.
It was you who caught him humping Beck Nissel in the loo, wasn't it? No, Mandy, the sister.
Beck was later, in the lift.
Prison is where the man belongs.
Oh, heavens, we all agree about that.
Oh, God, yes.
The only place for him.
Hi.
No grandstanding in there.
Just look humble.
Don't be a smart-arse.
I'm I am St Francis of Assisi.
I am a father unto my flock.
Just ordinary, decent.
I'll channel Harry 'Sorry' David.
You know what? I don't need this.
I am frantically busy.
If you want to defend yourself, here are my notes.
Best thing that's going to happen today is maybe we get a retrial.
There's certainly grounds Hey, Red.
What's wrong? OK, I'm sorry.
OK.
I'm sorry.
Please.
Come on, please.
I cannot spend any more time in this fucking shithole waiting for a retrial.
Well, what are you expecting today? My old life.
I want it back.
I want everything.
I want the bar, I want the bars.
I want Barney.
I want Sundays with Wendy and Fuzz.
I want my fucking life back.
Given the bench, I wouldn't hope for too much.
Mention Bearbung.
Bearbung? I'm not citing a case I know nothing about.
Just say it.
All rise.
In all, there were, in Judge Walter's summations, some eight clear breaches of law in his instruction to the jury.
Bored, Miss Engels.
You have made this point three times.
And each time, it failed to land.
Move on.
On six occasions, there was a failure By the appellant's counsel to present anything interesting to this court.
.
.
to allow admissible evidence.
It's difficult to look at the transcript of this trial and not query whether there was some sort of set against the appellant.
Miss Engels, if you are imputing any bias by this bench, you may find yourself joining the appellant.
No, Your Honour.
But the appellant was a prominent Sydney barrister who has now languished in prison for 11 months when any single one of these create clear grounds for a mistrial.
Rubbish.
Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.
Could I add, rubbish? Bearbung.
Bearbung.
Bearbung.
Can you instruct your client to stop that? Has the man Tourette's or something? Bearbung.
Excuse me, Your Honour.
A slight case thereof.
Under stress, I cough and say the word 'Bearbung.
' I have no Bearbung.
I have no idea why, just a thing since childhood.
Excuse me.
Bearbung.
I think I've had quite enough.
Quite agree.
Ah, yes.
But before we completely dismiss this, I think I did see something of merit in one of Miss Engel's points.
Fuck! What just happened in there? Fucking Kieran Webster.
He must have told Greene.
Told him what? I believe it has something to do with Eddie's retirement plans.
What the hell happened in there? Who or what is Bearbung? Well, 'bearbung' is an Aboriginal word meaning 'an illegally obtained lease between an appellant judge and a mining company.
' It's a beautiful word.
Are you happy with today's result? Innocent, boys and girls.
Completely innocent.
Three judges with one voice declared what happened to me an egregious miscarriage of justice.
One of them seemed very close to tears.
Will you be seeking compensation? Look, that's all for the future.
I just want to spend some quality time with my family and loved ones, my friends.
Thank you.
That'll be all.
I do have family and friends, don't I? You and me! Mates on the inside, then mates on the out! Who would have thought it? Yes.
How are you, mate? Thanks for coming.
I wouldn't have missed it for nothing.
You should go and be with your family.
Give me a call when you can, hey? Alright, mate.
Thank you for that.
How are you, are you alright? Yeah, I'm good.
It's just No, I'm good.
I love you, mate.
Great, great.
I love you, mate.
Thanks for coming, Mal.
Look after yourself, yeah? Oi! Isn't there some sort of celebratory something? Where's Barnyard? Quite a bit has happened since you went inside.
Oh, yeah? Barney Barney has cancer.
What do you mean? What sort of cancer? Bad cancer? Fuck.
Red Red? Fuck! Why didn't somebody tell me? He must be a mess.
Looking marvellous, everybody.
And turn.
Fantastic, Barney.
One more.
Barnyard.
Hey.
You've put on some weight.
Prison must suit you, mate.
Forget about me.
You! Scarlet told me - cancer.
Fuck, mate! Yeah, of the cods.
Barney! One of them, anyway.
I don't know what to say.
You know what, mate? It's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
Every day is a blessing.
I breathe in life, exhale joy.
I can't get enough of my kids.
Jilly, tell me you've got one of those fantastic cream doughnuts.
I saved one especially for you.
You have to try one of these.
Right.
So, what did the doctors say? Ah, 50/50.
I've got some secondaries in the old lymphs.
Actually, I'm already a 50.
They've taken one off.
OK, now, slowly.
Feel the way the cream oozes into the mouth.
Don't rush it.
Savour! Hm? What's that? That's it - my cancerous testicle.
Oh, Barn! Hard to believe all life starts here.
Oh, mate! Children come from this.
They don't come from a bloody key ring.
It's just an organ! We eat stuff like this.
Nobody wants to look at a ball in aspic.
I've been in prison for 11 months without a woman.
In a single moment, you've put me off sex for another 11.
Come on.
Jesus.
So, come on - what stage of the treatment are you at? One more hit of chemo to go.
I'm thinking I may not go back to work, mate, ever.
Ever? Well, sure.
You know, whatever you think.
You more than anyone I know need mental stimulation, don't you? It would be a shame if you pulled yourself through all of this and then there was nothing there.
Terrible.
But take your time.
Whatever you need.
I'm fine.
I'll be alright.
So don't worry about that.
I'm, you know, I'm right back in the game.
You sure the game still wants you? They found me innocent.
Acquitted or innocent? Yes, yes.
So, are you up for a walk? I cycle everywhere now - fitness and freedom in the one light-alloy machine.
You can't be serious? Never give in to it.
Oh, Barn.
The trick is, embrace the beast.
Trick.
It's also a trick to piss-spell your name in snow.
You just end up with yellow slime on your boots.
Trust me - I'm good, Cleave.
It was great to see you.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Barn! Thank you.
You heard the news, I suppose? Cal McGregor's out and Cleaver Greene just got acquitted.
I heard.
Two arseholes released to make way for most of my front bench.
The big positive about Les getting jailed is that it weakens the Right's grip on the party.
So, if we woo Bryce, we've got the centre alliance and we own Sussex Street.
How can there still be factions? There are 12 of us.
There are still 12 of us, aren't there, Clayton? Geoff and Alsop are giving their statements now to the Commission.
Both gave me their word they're not involved.
Both made public statements to that effect.
So all good? Alsop should be fine.
And Geoff? Jesus! Is there anyone in this party not involved in graft? That's not rhetorical, by the way.
You're holding the reins, mate.
You've got a 21% approval rating, which is not bad, given the state of the party.
I wonder how that 21% decided they like me.
I haven't done anything yet.
Plus, the whole gay question's gone away.
They think I'm gay because I support same-sex marriage? Well, you're not married.
Well-groomed.
Nice bloke.
And that celebrity prostitute you were engaged to described you as 'honourable' and 'decent' - all code words.
What are you doing here? I live here.
No, you live in prison.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, how great! The appeal, they actually let you out.
Well, good.
That's Oh, it's good to see you.
Sorry, I wasn't The general feeling was, they wouldn't You remember my mother, Maria? Hey, Cleave.
I could have dinked ya.
There's a very small, bald person.
Iain Vargas Meagher, meet Cleaver Greene.
Barney, can you stop that? That is disgusting.
Just reminding the lad where he came from.
New life, eh, Cleave? I've got to fly.
I'm helping out at the school this arvo.
Oh, sorry.
That's alright.
Right.
So, um You can sleep on the couch tonight.
Mum's a bit of a snorer.
You had Barney's baby.
You had a baby with Barney.
With Barney! A b-b-baby.
That's the situa Is that what has happened here? The paperwork would indicate that is the case.
OK, so he's lost a ball and he's fathered a baby? Yep.
And you called the baby 'Ian'? It's spelled I-A-I-N.
Oh, that makes all the difference - 'Ee-ayn.
' I've got to go, so So, what? You're off working for another barrister now? I am living the dream.
Of all the things I've heard so far today, that would surprise me the least.
OK.
I've got to get a cash flow going.
I've got to get some clients on the go.
I've got to get a little space somewhere else.
Like I said, I'm on my way.
That's been cut off, so you'll need to use your mobile.
I don't have a mobile! Until a couple of minutes ago, I was a murderer.
Beautiful.
Malcolm Finnane? Where's Malcolm Finnane? I'm Finnane.
Look at you.
Straight out of deepest, darkest prison.
How long inside, Malcolm? Wonderful.
And now on parole? Yep.
I know I'm being a gay cliche, but at 3:20am in my cold, little flat, do you know what I thought? No.
I thought, 'I'm listening to the next Susan Boyle except in prison.
' You are not to go through that door.
I am exercising a super veto card.
No audition - straight to air.
The first time our judges hear you will be on Monday 7th July when all of Australia does.
Tuesday, the name 'Malcolm Finnane' will be viral.
So I'm on the show? You'll be singing Valjean.
Of course you know the song? Yes, I've heard it, but I was going to sing the aria from Tosca.
Valjean, Les Mis - One Day More.
And you and I are friends for eternity.
Bye-bye.
Fuzz, this is your old dad.
I am a free man, mate.
I am cleared of all charges, and I'm hanging out to see you, pal.
Can't wait.
I'm going to swing by the house later on, OK? See ya.
Harley, mate! Harley! Cleave! I thought you were in the nick.
The court saw the error of its ways.
What are you up for? Bit of murder.
Fantastic.
I'm here for you.
Give us a call.
Actually, don't call me! I'm going to write down my address.
Mate, I'm seeing someone.
Sorry.
Tadpole! What are you up for? Arson.
Bye, Cleave.
Oh, yes.
Ah! My client, my secretary, my best friend's wife.
You were in prison.
So you decided to steal my secretary and my entire client base? Your client base? A rag-bag cluster of low-life sink hair? Not you, Harley.
Barney referred them to me.
Nobody thought to ask me? Why would we need to ask you? These guys need a counsel who could physically attend a courtroom.
I'm sorry - you two, together, in the This woman, she has had your husband's love child.
Yes.
She and her are well aware of that.
What do you want me to do, demonise her? We've worked through the issues.
We sat down and we talked it out.
Maybe you should try it some time.
Yeah.
We cried and laughed.
The fact Barney has cancer brings us even closer together.
We realised we actually like each other.
Best buds, aren't we, Nic? I've died.
I'm in hell.
It's a never-ending chick flick.
And you! You and I are family.
I've watched you grow over the years.
Three assaults, one possession of an illegal firearm.
Who was there by your side every time? You were, mate.
Me.
Who talked a judge down from a three-year to a nine-month suspended sentence? You did.
Me.
Who was there for your brother's first GBH and your cousin's assault with a deadly weapon? Me, me, me.
And now that you get a decent murder, where are you? Off with somebody else.
Well, that's loyalty, that's friendship for you.
Cleaver, your world is different now.
Harley is completely free to choose whomever he likes.
If he wants to walk back to a man who has no chambers No phone.
.
.
no standing in the legal world, then please do so, Harley.
But otherwise, I've got a meeting to go to.
Alright, well, fuck you all very much.
And I'll I'll be OK to find my own way out.
And I do have a phone, by the way.
Gareth, my old friend.
Cleaver.
Cleaver Greene.
Yes.
No, out.
Out, cleared, innocent.
Yeah, OK - quashed.
I'm out, I'm available for work.
Cindy, baby.
Cleaver Greene.
How are you? Listen, ah, just to say that if you needed OK, well, there are other barristers than her, and I am one of them.
Arrgh! Shit! Damn! Are you alright? Yeah.
I just got attacked by some battleship cruiser.
Do you think, just for once, we could do this in a hotel? This is the only secure place.
Mother doesn't mind, I promise.
I mind.
This has got to stop.
This is wrong on so many levels.
He had a baby with somebody else.
You were going to leave him, then Yes, then.
Until he's either better or not.
I can't do this anymore, not with Simon Le Bon looking down on me and the TV blaring in the next room.
I know.
Babe, please.
I can't live without you.
I just There's someone outside.
I think it's a journo.
Not everyone in the world is a journo.
Why would he be interested in tailing the leader of the world's smallest opposition party? Have you been talking to Greene about this? Yeah.
I thought he should know, and I showed him photos.
No, please.
Just stick around, just until I've gone.
Mum really likes you.
I love you.
Lincoln! Lincoln, Lincoln! Mate! I have missed you.
You're out! I'm out.
I went to visit you about half a dozen times.
They said you said, 'Piss off.
' And you believed them? Mate! I was in solitary for four months.
I couldn't get a note out.
I'm writing a book about it.
Wow.
So are you out on parole? No, no.
I'm free, innocent.
Acquitted or quashed? Yeah.
So, free for work, huh? Old times.
Oh, no.
I've got nothing worthy of you.
I've got tiny stuff.
I've got a DUI.
The guy wanted to fight it but I said it's probably Oh, come on.
If four months in solitary has taught me anything, it's that every man must stand and fight for his rights.
Mr McGregor! Let me not keep you good folk out here in this winter chill.
I am genuinely grateful for my time here.
It gave me a chance to reflect and to ask some pretty serious questions of myself.
I now realise that in my zealousness to protect the great people of this State, I lost my own moral compass.
Mr McGregor, one more question before you go.
Cal, Cal? So what now? What for the future? Well, apart from a life of service, I really haven't given it any thought.
God bless.
Thank you, Mr McGregor.
God bless you, Mick.
Get me the fuck out of this shithole, will you? Oh, yeah! Ah, no.
No speak Polish.
No Polish.
No.
Sorry.
Bye-bye now.
Oh, my God! Cleave! Oh, your appeal! You're out! Yes.
Yes, I'm out.
There's a big for-sale sign.
Yes, you can't stay.
As soon as the bread has finished baking, we've got to go.
We're open for inspection in 15.
Are we? Come and have a quick glass of wine.
Roger's here? Yeah, Roger lives here now.
Oh, Roger lives here now.
Where's Fuzz? Why wasn't he at my bloody appeal? You could have at least sent him.
He might have forgotten.
He's doing this intensive study course.
He's going to work in Africa.
Hello, Cleaver.
Welcome back to the land of the living.
How was it in there? Work in Africa? He and Tara are going to the Congo to build hospitals and schools and sing happy hymns.
He's very committed to it.
Bloody Congo? No son of mine is going to do good works.
What happened to university? His father went to prison.
How long have I been asleep? What happened to the world while I was inside? I feel like Rumpelstiltskin.
We sat down as a family and decided What family was this? Fuzz and myself and Roger and Tara, we all agreed that you were too much a part of this house and we needed to move forward.
Oh, did we? Did we all have a vote on that? It was like you were dead, Cleave.
There were too many sad memories and there was too much shit.
Rip van Winkle.
What? It was Rip van Winkle who slept for 100 years.
Rumpelstiltskin was the riddle guy.
You're killing me.
You know that, Wendy? I'm not meaning to.
We're getting married, mate.
Blow, bugles, blow Set wild echoes flying Blow, bugles Answer echoes dying, dying, dying.
It was Rip van Winkle.
I didn't think I'd hear from you for days.
I thought you'd be doing some massive family thing.
Oh, you know, they all wanted to.
I was keen to keep it low-key.
I've got some news.
I followed your advice.
I did that audition thing.
And Tarquin, he heard my tape.
He really liked it.
A turtle listened to your tape? Oh, no.
That's a terrapin.
He reckons I could be some kind of sensation.
I don't really believe him.
Would you come? It would mean a mountain if you did.
Monday the 9th? Sure, mate.
Sorry, what are we talking about here? What did I recommend? You said I should audition for Aussies Gotta Sing.
Did I? Yeah.
You said, 'If you make your voice heard, then people will listen.
' You said, 'Follow your dreams, my friend.
' Mm.
Right.
Sorry, mate - which show is it? Is it the one where everybody's nice to you or the one with the arsehole? Yeah, Gordon.
Yeah, he's famous.
Increasingly, I hear people are famous.
I've no idea who any of them are.
He had a massive hit - Toledo Mio.
Oh, Gordon Martin, Toledo Mio.
Oh, yes.
Early '90s - '92, '93.
Must have charted for about three minutes in the top ten.
Do you really think it's a good idea to let yourself be judged by this man? You don't think I should do it? You think it's a mistake? No, no.
No.
Just don't put too much weight in that clown's opinion.
This is it for me, mate.
It's my only way out.
I'm not like you.
You can jump straight back in.
If I can do this, if I can get a little bit famous, you know? People forgive you, don't they? Yeah.
Yeah! Fame is the great get-out-of-jail-free card.
If you take away the senseless violence, fear for your life, man rape, the slammer wasn't so bad, was it? You know, quiet cell, pleasant company.
I reckon that year with you was one of the happiest of my life.
Fuck, mate.
It hasn't been all Vogue Living in your life, has it? Don't do that.
I'll get you another drink.
Sh, sh! Sorry.
Shut up! Thanks a bloody bundle.
I'm sorry.
I completely forgot.
There's a new world order.
I'm in Topsy-Turvy Land.
No, they're not going to have any sex.
Did you take my mother's phone? What? No! What does it look like? Morning.
Ah, Chantelle.
Holy sh Tikki! Hello, Cal sweetie.
How's the hotel? How were the girls? Oh.
Oh, very good.
Thank you, Tikki.
I didn't realise you were coming.
Let me get changed.
No! Sit down.
Relax.
Alright.
Alright.
Lovely to see you back in the real world.
Yes.
So, have you given any thought to what you might do now that you're out? Ah, yes.
Yeah.
I've got a few plans.
Here's what I think we need you to do.
You're going to host a new television program on one of my cable thingies, and I think you would be adorable.
Well! I hadn't really thought of the media, but it does seem like a natural fit.
A current-affairs, right-slant newsy thing? Whatever you like, darling.
Bit of a rant, mostly gambling and scandal.
That's what the public needs.
I presume there's strings attached to this? More ropes than strings, pet.
I need you to be au fait with my new business model.
Have you got a dollar coin there, love? Yeah, yes.
Just pop your one dollar into that.
And I give you back, say, 20 cents.
Uh-huh.
It's the perfect business model.
It's called a casino.
I am currently tendering to build a new one.
I want to create something magnificent, a great cathedral, where people of all nations, mainly China and Singapore, come to worship in its chambers.
But I'm copping a lot of flack - churches and anti-gambling lobbyists.
There's even talk of it being a sacred site.
How can land on Sydney Harbour be sacred? The place is a festival of desecration.
Exactly.
Cal, I want it more than my children.
And I need a brave captain at the helm to avoid those icebergs.
You are that man.
Come, Jerry.
Right, well, I'm with you, Tikki.
Specifically though, what do you want me to do? Just follow the bouncing ball, Cal.
Bye, Cal.
Yeah, bye, Jerry.
Good to .
.
see you.
Glen was three points over.
He needs his car for work.
Why are we meeting here? Ah, Glen, I just think that it's a lot less threatening for my client base if I meet them here rather than in my big, showy chambers - all that marble and so on.
Would you like a coffee? Maria, if you're not doing anything Apparently, the machine's broken again.
Polish machine.
Look, I've been thinking.
This is my third time.
Probably not worth fighting it.
Really? If I had that attitude, I'd still be in prison.
So would Mandela.
Some things are worth fighting for, mate.
All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
I was pissed.
Were you? Are you a doctor? Did the machine get checked? Was the reading accurate? Did you get a blood test? No, I refused.
I'm haemophiliac.
Well, there you go.
We need to fight this.
I was reading an interesting article the other day from this scientist at the Garrault Institute who reckons the machine's readings, once you've used it a few times, they're not necessarily accurate.
I need to meet this person as soon as humanly possible.
I've had two papers published in scientific journals on the subject.
Governments choose to ignore my findings, of course, breath-testing being such a great source of revenue for them.
But the truth does not disappear simply because it is inconvenient.
Just how inaccurate are these machines, Elliott? It varies.
Science demands exactitude, but usually ends up with probabilities.
When you breathe out, your breath goes directly into there.
With each breath also goes a microscopic amount of alcohol, or you wouldn't get the reading.
My contention is, the heavier molecular weight of the alcohol remains in the breathalyser.
If you breath-test, say, the cumulative effect, if you're number 201, can alter the reading by an as yet unquantifiable but not insignificant margin.
Doubt is all I need to establish.
You want a demonstration? Absolutely, we do.
I've been thinking about this.
I don't want to sing light opera.
I want to sing real opera.
No.
You don't.
You will be Valjean, the part that almost won our Hugh an Oscar.
So, already we're seeing a.
0003 variation between the two machines.
Extrapolate that over many people, and you would have to say the numbers conform to a predictable hyperbolic rise.
Well, let's tease out this hypothesis a little more.
Maybe the pinot next.
Pinot, pinot, pinot.
Ah! Pinot.
If Humberstone is even a quarter of a scintilla near right, we are made.
We saw the numbers.
How many people have incurred fines on faulty data? How many licences have been needlessly lost? As many as there are drops in the ocean.
We are talking a massive class action against government.
More than the stars in the sky.
Are we absolutely convinced this guy's scientific qualifications stack up? A 100 per cent! Right.
Then get it up on your website.
Tell everyone who has ever had a DUI that there is a class action a-coming.
Put my name and number to it and stand back and behold the glorious tidal wave to come.
OK, I have you on 9th July - a DUI.
What do we think, gentlemen, I think more like two days, Your Honour.
This is a very complex case.
No.
How? Well, my client has a number of work-and home-related factors that I believe have considerable bearing on this case, Your Honour.
Fine.
20 minutes, then.
And I have a welter of scientific evidence provided by an expert witness that has grave implications for the entire legal system.
OK! Back to 15.
Who is this man? What is his story? On Monday 9th July, a very special edition of Aussies Gotta Sing, where, for the very first time, the surprise card will be played.
This man will appear before our judges, untried, unproven, and with a shocking secret.
He will face final judgement.
Has Edie Newbar finally met her match? So we bring him on.
You pretend you know nothing about him.
Shock, horror, reveal.
You humiliate him.
I know the drill.
But really push it to fight stage.
Then he rallies and sings.
We line up lots of people in the audience to whoop, then you slowly rise to your feet and clap.
Right, can the prick actually sing? Oh, I think so.
It's opera.
The guy's a bona fide murderer.
This isn't just us.
This is going to be news.
He's good for eight weeks.
Eight weeks? Minimum.
We need Gordon in make-up now.
That's good.
I'm coming.
Your Honour, there are many grounds on which I could defend my client today.
Glen Hansi - family man and production manager at an aluminium-guttering company.
I could argue emotional stress.
His wife of eight years recently left him for another woman, which has seen him in the hands of a psychologist with whom he's already confronting head-on the issue of substance abuse.
Yes.
Indeed, there is considerable precedent for such a submission.
But I'm not going to argue that today, Your Honour.
I could argue that his contact with his two young children will be severely curtailed if he cannot drive and that his career in aluminium extrusions could be lost.
Crown and Bayliss, indeed.
But I'm not going to argue any of these here today.
Then why mention them? Because, Your Honour, there are bigger fish to fry here today.
Which still begs my initial question - why bother to mention the other reasons at all? I'm trying to establish a context, Your Honour.
What if I could prove here and now that the entire foundation of this case and potentially thousands of similar cases are open to serious question? What if I were to say that there may be prisoners languishing in prison today who are entirely innocent or at the very least worthy of acquittal on the basis of a fundamentally flawed technology? I would say, get on with it, and quick.
Indeed.
And to that end, let me call Dr Elliott Humberstone, PhD from Princeton, post-doctoral thesis from Harvard and foundation member of the famed Garrault Institute for Future Sciences.
Fine, but can you get him to jog to the stand? Dr Humberstone, could you detail for the court's benefit the body of your work for the past 35 years? Oh, please don't.
I'm prepared to accept that he's a qualified scientist.
Indeed.
Dr Humberstone, some years ago, you began research into the technology behind breath-testing.
Yeah, I did do that, yes.
Yes.
Can you tell the court what prompted this? An epiphany, one of those great moments in science where I realised the basis upon which the taking of alcohol samples from motorists was premised on a questionable scientific hypo hypothesis.
Is something wrong there, Doctor? A mild head cold, Your Worship.
Honour.
That the residual accretion of alcoholic vapours inside the very mechanism of the machine contributed in no small part Mr Greene, is your so-called expert witness three sheets to the wind in my court? No, I don't believe so.
Why is he wobbling in his chair, then? He has an inner-ear issue, Your Honour.
I, however, have his findings right here.
If it please the court, I could possibly read them out.
I will not tolerate drunks in my court, Mr Greene.
I'm used to derision.
I've been mocked before.
But I have the science to back up Remove this man from my court.
Mr Greene, I realise that this is your first case since your release, but I've a good mind to find you in contempt.
Your Honour, I have no idea what's happened.
When I met him a couple of weeks ago, he was like a scientist in a movie.
Given that you have refused to plead any alternatives, I find your client guilty.
I remove his licence for 12 months and fine him $1,500.
Next.
Don't even think about sending a fucking bill.
Ah, that's a shame.
You'll be back in the harness soon.
Saddle, you fuckwit.
What the hell is going on, mate? I don't want to do that song.
I want to sing the aria from Tosca.
I can do it unaccompanied.
Let me tell you a little something, Mal.
I don't really know if you can sing or not.
Opera all sounds the same to me.
The only thing I do know is either you can play things our way, or the road to obscurity lies that way.
You have just seconds to choose.
Malcolm, is it? You're our .
.
surprise card, is that it? Tell us about yourself.
Why haven't we heard of you? You're not exactly young.
What were you doing before now? Don't tell me - you were a mime artist.
I was in prison.
What for? I just want to sing.
You were in for wanting to sing? It says here murder.
Your father.
Is that right? Righto, Mal.
Give it a go.
Try not to murder the song.
- Aw! - What?! Did I say something wrong? Fantastic.
Now just give it 30 seconds.
Let the tension build to fever.
Then walk back on as Valjean You know what?! You know what? Fuck Valjean.
Fuck you.
You stole my mother's phone.
No, I didn't.
Then why are a lot of pissed people ringing her, demanding legal representation? OK, maybe I borrowed it by mistake for a couple of days.
You're buying her a new phone and you are paying her last phone bill.
Hello? Yeah.
No, mate.
Look, I'm sorry.
I can't get your licence back.
No, I I know it said that on the website.
OK, same to you.
Same to you, pal.
Oh, mate! Oh, it's so good to see you.
Oh, I've missed you! How are you, and what's all this shit about you going to the Congo? You know it's the most dangerous place on earth.
I know.
I don't want to talk about that.
I came to apologise.
I want to say, I'm sorry for kind of cutting you off, not visiting so much the past few months.
Oh, that's OK.
It must have been a bit embarrassing.
No, that's not why I stopped coming.
I started to get really angry with you, and I had no right to do that.
Yes, you did.
I was completely furious with myself.
You are who you are.
You can't change that.
No, I can change, and I'm going to change.
No.
People kept telling me you couldn't, and I wouldn't believe them.
You're just someone people can't rely on, and that's OK.
I just I had no right to expect any better.
Fuzz, if this is about dropping out of school No, I don't want to study.
I want to be someone who can help people.
I want to be someone people can rely on.
Mate, for someone who's forgiven me, you sound pretty angry.
I promise you, I'm not.
I just don't want to have any expectations of you anymore.
It's too hard.
I'm fine with it.
Well no.
I'm your father.
We have a special relationship.
OK.
I'll call you in a few days, Cleave, catch up before I leave.
'Dad'.
Come on, at least call me 'Dad'.
Fuck.
There's a call for you.
Can you just tell them I can't fix any fucking thing? It's your friend Mal.
Oh, the turtle show! Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
Mate! Oh, mate, I'm so sorry.
The taxi didn't arrive, and I couldn't How did it go? Oh, I'm sorry.
No, don't be stu Don't be crazy, mate.
Where are you? What are you doing? What are you doing, Malcolm? No! Get down.
Stop! You stay back.
You stay back.
It's over, Cleave.
Oh, mate.
No, it's all finished now.
Oh, mate, come on.
Look, you've got another 50 years.
Is this all about some fucking stupid talent quest? No.
That was it, mate.
The world will always be full of people who want to judge you.
You can't let them.
Don't give them that power.
Don't give them that power! OK? Look, things aren't turning out all that well for me either at the moment, but you have to believe that things can change, alright? They change.
They do.
No, some lives don't change, do they, Cleave? Some lives .
.
never really get started.
They're just fucked fucked up from the beginning.
It just goes on and on.
I never sang for you, did I, mate? I wish I had.
Well, come on, mate - fucking sing now! Sing your sing your little heart out.
Come on.
And then will you get down off the railing? Mate.
Mate, that's fucking amazing! That is fucking amazing.
Come on, keep singing, mate.
Keep singing! Keep singing.
It's fucking beautiful.
Come on, mate.
I told you I could do it.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck! Fuck.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck.
Do we have to have this conversation again? Hartford, Styles and Menzies? That's not a fucking appeal, but that's an inquisition.
A lot of people in your situation can find the loss of an appeal more devastating than the initial conviction.
Not with my parole hearing coming up.
The Parole Board does love a little bit of repentance.
Good thing I wrote that in the guidelines, eh? Arrgh! Fuck.
Oh I want to sing, Cleave.
That's what I want to do.
You're thick with the the Chief, aren't you? Yes, but maybe not so much now.
Live the dream.
Live the dream, my friend.
There may be a way around this.
What is it? Bearbung, Cleaver.
Bearbung.
Talk to me, Kieran.
Good luck with the appeal, Cleaver.
See you on the outside, fellas.
- Give 'em hell, Cleave.
Kick him in the nuts for me, mate.
Thanks, fellas.
I almost miss him.
Always good for a laugh.
No, not even in jest.
The man is a coke-addled sexual deviant.
It was you who caught him humping Beck Nissel in the loo, wasn't it? No, Mandy, the sister.
Beck was later, in the lift.
Prison is where the man belongs.
Oh, heavens, we all agree about that.
Oh, God, yes.
The only place for him.
Hi.
No grandstanding in there.
Just look humble.
Don't be a smart-arse.
I'm I am St Francis of Assisi.
I am a father unto my flock.
Just ordinary, decent.
I'll channel Harry 'Sorry' David.
You know what? I don't need this.
I am frantically busy.
If you want to defend yourself, here are my notes.
Best thing that's going to happen today is maybe we get a retrial.
There's certainly grounds Hey, Red.
What's wrong? OK, I'm sorry.
OK.
I'm sorry.
Please.
Come on, please.
I cannot spend any more time in this fucking shithole waiting for a retrial.
Well, what are you expecting today? My old life.
I want it back.
I want everything.
I want the bar, I want the bars.
I want Barney.
I want Sundays with Wendy and Fuzz.
I want my fucking life back.
Given the bench, I wouldn't hope for too much.
Mention Bearbung.
Bearbung? I'm not citing a case I know nothing about.
Just say it.
All rise.
In all, there were, in Judge Walter's summations, some eight clear breaches of law in his instruction to the jury.
Bored, Miss Engels.
You have made this point three times.
And each time, it failed to land.
Move on.
On six occasions, there was a failure By the appellant's counsel to present anything interesting to this court.
.
.
to allow admissible evidence.
It's difficult to look at the transcript of this trial and not query whether there was some sort of set against the appellant.
Miss Engels, if you are imputing any bias by this bench, you may find yourself joining the appellant.
No, Your Honour.
But the appellant was a prominent Sydney barrister who has now languished in prison for 11 months when any single one of these create clear grounds for a mistrial.
Rubbish.
Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.
Could I add, rubbish? Bearbung.
Bearbung.
Bearbung.
Can you instruct your client to stop that? Has the man Tourette's or something? Bearbung.
Excuse me, Your Honour.
A slight case thereof.
Under stress, I cough and say the word 'Bearbung.
' I have no Bearbung.
I have no idea why, just a thing since childhood.
Excuse me.
Bearbung.
I think I've had quite enough.
Quite agree.
Ah, yes.
But before we completely dismiss this, I think I did see something of merit in one of Miss Engel's points.
Fuck! What just happened in there? Fucking Kieran Webster.
He must have told Greene.
Told him what? I believe it has something to do with Eddie's retirement plans.
What the hell happened in there? Who or what is Bearbung? Well, 'bearbung' is an Aboriginal word meaning 'an illegally obtained lease between an appellant judge and a mining company.
' It's a beautiful word.
Are you happy with today's result? Innocent, boys and girls.
Completely innocent.
Three judges with one voice declared what happened to me an egregious miscarriage of justice.
One of them seemed very close to tears.
Will you be seeking compensation? Look, that's all for the future.
I just want to spend some quality time with my family and loved ones, my friends.
Thank you.
That'll be all.
I do have family and friends, don't I? You and me! Mates on the inside, then mates on the out! Who would have thought it? Yes.
How are you, mate? Thanks for coming.
I wouldn't have missed it for nothing.
You should go and be with your family.
Give me a call when you can, hey? Alright, mate.
Thank you for that.
How are you, are you alright? Yeah, I'm good.
It's just No, I'm good.
I love you, mate.
Great, great.
I love you, mate.
Thanks for coming, Mal.
Look after yourself, yeah? Oi! Isn't there some sort of celebratory something? Where's Barnyard? Quite a bit has happened since you went inside.
Oh, yeah? Barney Barney has cancer.
What do you mean? What sort of cancer? Bad cancer? Fuck.
Red Red? Fuck! Why didn't somebody tell me? He must be a mess.
Looking marvellous, everybody.
And turn.
Fantastic, Barney.
One more.
Barnyard.
Hey.
You've put on some weight.
Prison must suit you, mate.
Forget about me.
You! Scarlet told me - cancer.
Fuck, mate! Yeah, of the cods.
Barney! One of them, anyway.
I don't know what to say.
You know what, mate? It's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
Every day is a blessing.
I breathe in life, exhale joy.
I can't get enough of my kids.
Jilly, tell me you've got one of those fantastic cream doughnuts.
I saved one especially for you.
You have to try one of these.
Right.
So, what did the doctors say? Ah, 50/50.
I've got some secondaries in the old lymphs.
Actually, I'm already a 50.
They've taken one off.
OK, now, slowly.
Feel the way the cream oozes into the mouth.
Don't rush it.
Savour! Hm? What's that? That's it - my cancerous testicle.
Oh, Barn! Hard to believe all life starts here.
Oh, mate! Children come from this.
They don't come from a bloody key ring.
It's just an organ! We eat stuff like this.
Nobody wants to look at a ball in aspic.
I've been in prison for 11 months without a woman.
In a single moment, you've put me off sex for another 11.
Come on.
Jesus.
So, come on - what stage of the treatment are you at? One more hit of chemo to go.
I'm thinking I may not go back to work, mate, ever.
Ever? Well, sure.
You know, whatever you think.
You more than anyone I know need mental stimulation, don't you? It would be a shame if you pulled yourself through all of this and then there was nothing there.
Terrible.
But take your time.
Whatever you need.
I'm fine.
I'll be alright.
So don't worry about that.
I'm, you know, I'm right back in the game.
You sure the game still wants you? They found me innocent.
Acquitted or innocent? Yes, yes.
So, are you up for a walk? I cycle everywhere now - fitness and freedom in the one light-alloy machine.
You can't be serious? Never give in to it.
Oh, Barn.
The trick is, embrace the beast.
Trick.
It's also a trick to piss-spell your name in snow.
You just end up with yellow slime on your boots.
Trust me - I'm good, Cleave.
It was great to see you.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Barn! Thank you.
You heard the news, I suppose? Cal McGregor's out and Cleaver Greene just got acquitted.
I heard.
Two arseholes released to make way for most of my front bench.
The big positive about Les getting jailed is that it weakens the Right's grip on the party.
So, if we woo Bryce, we've got the centre alliance and we own Sussex Street.
How can there still be factions? There are 12 of us.
There are still 12 of us, aren't there, Clayton? Geoff and Alsop are giving their statements now to the Commission.
Both gave me their word they're not involved.
Both made public statements to that effect.
So all good? Alsop should be fine.
And Geoff? Jesus! Is there anyone in this party not involved in graft? That's not rhetorical, by the way.
You're holding the reins, mate.
You've got a 21% approval rating, which is not bad, given the state of the party.
I wonder how that 21% decided they like me.
I haven't done anything yet.
Plus, the whole gay question's gone away.
They think I'm gay because I support same-sex marriage? Well, you're not married.
Well-groomed.
Nice bloke.
And that celebrity prostitute you were engaged to described you as 'honourable' and 'decent' - all code words.
What are you doing here? I live here.
No, you live in prison.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, how great! The appeal, they actually let you out.
Well, good.
That's Oh, it's good to see you.
Sorry, I wasn't The general feeling was, they wouldn't You remember my mother, Maria? Hey, Cleave.
I could have dinked ya.
There's a very small, bald person.
Iain Vargas Meagher, meet Cleaver Greene.
Barney, can you stop that? That is disgusting.
Just reminding the lad where he came from.
New life, eh, Cleave? I've got to fly.
I'm helping out at the school this arvo.
Oh, sorry.
That's alright.
Right.
So, um You can sleep on the couch tonight.
Mum's a bit of a snorer.
You had Barney's baby.
You had a baby with Barney.
With Barney! A b-b-baby.
That's the situa Is that what has happened here? The paperwork would indicate that is the case.
OK, so he's lost a ball and he's fathered a baby? Yep.
And you called the baby 'Ian'? It's spelled I-A-I-N.
Oh, that makes all the difference - 'Ee-ayn.
' I've got to go, so So, what? You're off working for another barrister now? I am living the dream.
Of all the things I've heard so far today, that would surprise me the least.
OK.
I've got to get a cash flow going.
I've got to get some clients on the go.
I've got to get a little space somewhere else.
Like I said, I'm on my way.
That's been cut off, so you'll need to use your mobile.
I don't have a mobile! Until a couple of minutes ago, I was a murderer.
Beautiful.
Malcolm Finnane? Where's Malcolm Finnane? I'm Finnane.
Look at you.
Straight out of deepest, darkest prison.
How long inside, Malcolm? Wonderful.
And now on parole? Yep.
I know I'm being a gay cliche, but at 3:20am in my cold, little flat, do you know what I thought? No.
I thought, 'I'm listening to the next Susan Boyle except in prison.
' You are not to go through that door.
I am exercising a super veto card.
No audition - straight to air.
The first time our judges hear you will be on Monday 7th July when all of Australia does.
Tuesday, the name 'Malcolm Finnane' will be viral.
So I'm on the show? You'll be singing Valjean.
Of course you know the song? Yes, I've heard it, but I was going to sing the aria from Tosca.
Valjean, Les Mis - One Day More.
And you and I are friends for eternity.
Bye-bye.
Fuzz, this is your old dad.
I am a free man, mate.
I am cleared of all charges, and I'm hanging out to see you, pal.
Can't wait.
I'm going to swing by the house later on, OK? See ya.
Harley, mate! Harley! Cleave! I thought you were in the nick.
The court saw the error of its ways.
What are you up for? Bit of murder.
Fantastic.
I'm here for you.
Give us a call.
Actually, don't call me! I'm going to write down my address.
Mate, I'm seeing someone.
Sorry.
Tadpole! What are you up for? Arson.
Bye, Cleave.
Oh, yes.
Ah! My client, my secretary, my best friend's wife.
You were in prison.
So you decided to steal my secretary and my entire client base? Your client base? A rag-bag cluster of low-life sink hair? Not you, Harley.
Barney referred them to me.
Nobody thought to ask me? Why would we need to ask you? These guys need a counsel who could physically attend a courtroom.
I'm sorry - you two, together, in the This woman, she has had your husband's love child.
Yes.
She and her are well aware of that.
What do you want me to do, demonise her? We've worked through the issues.
We sat down and we talked it out.
Maybe you should try it some time.
Yeah.
We cried and laughed.
The fact Barney has cancer brings us even closer together.
We realised we actually like each other.
Best buds, aren't we, Nic? I've died.
I'm in hell.
It's a never-ending chick flick.
And you! You and I are family.
I've watched you grow over the years.
Three assaults, one possession of an illegal firearm.
Who was there by your side every time? You were, mate.
Me.
Who talked a judge down from a three-year to a nine-month suspended sentence? You did.
Me.
Who was there for your brother's first GBH and your cousin's assault with a deadly weapon? Me, me, me.
And now that you get a decent murder, where are you? Off with somebody else.
Well, that's loyalty, that's friendship for you.
Cleaver, your world is different now.
Harley is completely free to choose whomever he likes.
If he wants to walk back to a man who has no chambers No phone.
.
.
no standing in the legal world, then please do so, Harley.
But otherwise, I've got a meeting to go to.
Alright, well, fuck you all very much.
And I'll I'll be OK to find my own way out.
And I do have a phone, by the way.
Gareth, my old friend.
Cleaver.
Cleaver Greene.
Yes.
No, out.
Out, cleared, innocent.
Yeah, OK - quashed.
I'm out, I'm available for work.
Cindy, baby.
Cleaver Greene.
How are you? Listen, ah, just to say that if you needed OK, well, there are other barristers than her, and I am one of them.
Arrgh! Shit! Damn! Are you alright? Yeah.
I just got attacked by some battleship cruiser.
Do you think, just for once, we could do this in a hotel? This is the only secure place.
Mother doesn't mind, I promise.
I mind.
This has got to stop.
This is wrong on so many levels.
He had a baby with somebody else.
You were going to leave him, then Yes, then.
Until he's either better or not.
I can't do this anymore, not with Simon Le Bon looking down on me and the TV blaring in the next room.
I know.
Babe, please.
I can't live without you.
I just There's someone outside.
I think it's a journo.
Not everyone in the world is a journo.
Why would he be interested in tailing the leader of the world's smallest opposition party? Have you been talking to Greene about this? Yeah.
I thought he should know, and I showed him photos.
No, please.
Just stick around, just until I've gone.
Mum really likes you.
I love you.
Lincoln! Lincoln, Lincoln! Mate! I have missed you.
You're out! I'm out.
I went to visit you about half a dozen times.
They said you said, 'Piss off.
' And you believed them? Mate! I was in solitary for four months.
I couldn't get a note out.
I'm writing a book about it.
Wow.
So are you out on parole? No, no.
I'm free, innocent.
Acquitted or quashed? Yeah.
So, free for work, huh? Old times.
Oh, no.
I've got nothing worthy of you.
I've got tiny stuff.
I've got a DUI.
The guy wanted to fight it but I said it's probably Oh, come on.
If four months in solitary has taught me anything, it's that every man must stand and fight for his rights.
Mr McGregor! Let me not keep you good folk out here in this winter chill.
I am genuinely grateful for my time here.
It gave me a chance to reflect and to ask some pretty serious questions of myself.
I now realise that in my zealousness to protect the great people of this State, I lost my own moral compass.
Mr McGregor, one more question before you go.
Cal, Cal? So what now? What for the future? Well, apart from a life of service, I really haven't given it any thought.
God bless.
Thank you, Mr McGregor.
God bless you, Mick.
Get me the fuck out of this shithole, will you? Oh, yeah! Ah, no.
No speak Polish.
No Polish.
No.
Sorry.
Bye-bye now.
Oh, my God! Cleave! Oh, your appeal! You're out! Yes.
Yes, I'm out.
There's a big for-sale sign.
Yes, you can't stay.
As soon as the bread has finished baking, we've got to go.
We're open for inspection in 15.
Are we? Come and have a quick glass of wine.
Roger's here? Yeah, Roger lives here now.
Oh, Roger lives here now.
Where's Fuzz? Why wasn't he at my bloody appeal? You could have at least sent him.
He might have forgotten.
He's doing this intensive study course.
He's going to work in Africa.
Hello, Cleaver.
Welcome back to the land of the living.
How was it in there? Work in Africa? He and Tara are going to the Congo to build hospitals and schools and sing happy hymns.
He's very committed to it.
Bloody Congo? No son of mine is going to do good works.
What happened to university? His father went to prison.
How long have I been asleep? What happened to the world while I was inside? I feel like Rumpelstiltskin.
We sat down as a family and decided What family was this? Fuzz and myself and Roger and Tara, we all agreed that you were too much a part of this house and we needed to move forward.
Oh, did we? Did we all have a vote on that? It was like you were dead, Cleave.
There were too many sad memories and there was too much shit.
Rip van Winkle.
What? It was Rip van Winkle who slept for 100 years.
Rumpelstiltskin was the riddle guy.
You're killing me.
You know that, Wendy? I'm not meaning to.
We're getting married, mate.
Blow, bugles, blow Set wild echoes flying Blow, bugles Answer echoes dying, dying, dying.
It was Rip van Winkle.
I didn't think I'd hear from you for days.
I thought you'd be doing some massive family thing.
Oh, you know, they all wanted to.
I was keen to keep it low-key.
I've got some news.
I followed your advice.
I did that audition thing.
And Tarquin, he heard my tape.
He really liked it.
A turtle listened to your tape? Oh, no.
That's a terrapin.
He reckons I could be some kind of sensation.
I don't really believe him.
Would you come? It would mean a mountain if you did.
Monday the 9th? Sure, mate.
Sorry, what are we talking about here? What did I recommend? You said I should audition for Aussies Gotta Sing.
Did I? Yeah.
You said, 'If you make your voice heard, then people will listen.
' You said, 'Follow your dreams, my friend.
' Mm.
Right.
Sorry, mate - which show is it? Is it the one where everybody's nice to you or the one with the arsehole? Yeah, Gordon.
Yeah, he's famous.
Increasingly, I hear people are famous.
I've no idea who any of them are.
He had a massive hit - Toledo Mio.
Oh, Gordon Martin, Toledo Mio.
Oh, yes.
Early '90s - '92, '93.
Must have charted for about three minutes in the top ten.
Do you really think it's a good idea to let yourself be judged by this man? You don't think I should do it? You think it's a mistake? No, no.
No.
Just don't put too much weight in that clown's opinion.
This is it for me, mate.
It's my only way out.
I'm not like you.
You can jump straight back in.
If I can do this, if I can get a little bit famous, you know? People forgive you, don't they? Yeah.
Yeah! Fame is the great get-out-of-jail-free card.
If you take away the senseless violence, fear for your life, man rape, the slammer wasn't so bad, was it? You know, quiet cell, pleasant company.
I reckon that year with you was one of the happiest of my life.
Fuck, mate.
It hasn't been all Vogue Living in your life, has it? Don't do that.
I'll get you another drink.
Sh, sh! Sorry.
Shut up! Thanks a bloody bundle.
I'm sorry.
I completely forgot.
There's a new world order.
I'm in Topsy-Turvy Land.
No, they're not going to have any sex.
Did you take my mother's phone? What? No! What does it look like? Morning.
Ah, Chantelle.
Holy sh Tikki! Hello, Cal sweetie.
How's the hotel? How were the girls? Oh.
Oh, very good.
Thank you, Tikki.
I didn't realise you were coming.
Let me get changed.
No! Sit down.
Relax.
Alright.
Alright.
Lovely to see you back in the real world.
Yes.
So, have you given any thought to what you might do now that you're out? Ah, yes.
Yeah.
I've got a few plans.
Here's what I think we need you to do.
You're going to host a new television program on one of my cable thingies, and I think you would be adorable.
Well! I hadn't really thought of the media, but it does seem like a natural fit.
A current-affairs, right-slant newsy thing? Whatever you like, darling.
Bit of a rant, mostly gambling and scandal.
That's what the public needs.
I presume there's strings attached to this? More ropes than strings, pet.
I need you to be au fait with my new business model.
Have you got a dollar coin there, love? Yeah, yes.
Just pop your one dollar into that.
And I give you back, say, 20 cents.
Uh-huh.
It's the perfect business model.
It's called a casino.
I am currently tendering to build a new one.
I want to create something magnificent, a great cathedral, where people of all nations, mainly China and Singapore, come to worship in its chambers.
But I'm copping a lot of flack - churches and anti-gambling lobbyists.
There's even talk of it being a sacred site.
How can land on Sydney Harbour be sacred? The place is a festival of desecration.
Exactly.
Cal, I want it more than my children.
And I need a brave captain at the helm to avoid those icebergs.
You are that man.
Come, Jerry.
Right, well, I'm with you, Tikki.
Specifically though, what do you want me to do? Just follow the bouncing ball, Cal.
Bye, Cal.
Yeah, bye, Jerry.
Good to .
.
see you.
Glen was three points over.
He needs his car for work.
Why are we meeting here? Ah, Glen, I just think that it's a lot less threatening for my client base if I meet them here rather than in my big, showy chambers - all that marble and so on.
Would you like a coffee? Maria, if you're not doing anything Apparently, the machine's broken again.
Polish machine.
Look, I've been thinking.
This is my third time.
Probably not worth fighting it.
Really? If I had that attitude, I'd still be in prison.
So would Mandela.
Some things are worth fighting for, mate.
All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
I was pissed.
Were you? Are you a doctor? Did the machine get checked? Was the reading accurate? Did you get a blood test? No, I refused.
I'm haemophiliac.
Well, there you go.
We need to fight this.
I was reading an interesting article the other day from this scientist at the Garrault Institute who reckons the machine's readings, once you've used it a few times, they're not necessarily accurate.
I need to meet this person as soon as humanly possible.
I've had two papers published in scientific journals on the subject.
Governments choose to ignore my findings, of course, breath-testing being such a great source of revenue for them.
But the truth does not disappear simply because it is inconvenient.
Just how inaccurate are these machines, Elliott? It varies.
Science demands exactitude, but usually ends up with probabilities.
When you breathe out, your breath goes directly into there.
With each breath also goes a microscopic amount of alcohol, or you wouldn't get the reading.
My contention is, the heavier molecular weight of the alcohol remains in the breathalyser.
If you breath-test, say, the cumulative effect, if you're number 201, can alter the reading by an as yet unquantifiable but not insignificant margin.
Doubt is all I need to establish.
You want a demonstration? Absolutely, we do.
I've been thinking about this.
I don't want to sing light opera.
I want to sing real opera.
No.
You don't.
You will be Valjean, the part that almost won our Hugh an Oscar.
So, already we're seeing a.
0003 variation between the two machines.
Extrapolate that over many people, and you would have to say the numbers conform to a predictable hyperbolic rise.
Well, let's tease out this hypothesis a little more.
Maybe the pinot next.
Pinot, pinot, pinot.
Ah! Pinot.
If Humberstone is even a quarter of a scintilla near right, we are made.
We saw the numbers.
How many people have incurred fines on faulty data? How many licences have been needlessly lost? As many as there are drops in the ocean.
We are talking a massive class action against government.
More than the stars in the sky.
Are we absolutely convinced this guy's scientific qualifications stack up? A 100 per cent! Right.
Then get it up on your website.
Tell everyone who has ever had a DUI that there is a class action a-coming.
Put my name and number to it and stand back and behold the glorious tidal wave to come.
OK, I have you on 9th July - a DUI.
What do we think, gentlemen, I think more like two days, Your Honour.
This is a very complex case.
No.
How? Well, my client has a number of work-and home-related factors that I believe have considerable bearing on this case, Your Honour.
Fine.
20 minutes, then.
And I have a welter of scientific evidence provided by an expert witness that has grave implications for the entire legal system.
OK! Back to 15.
Who is this man? What is his story? On Monday 9th July, a very special edition of Aussies Gotta Sing, where, for the very first time, the surprise card will be played.
This man will appear before our judges, untried, unproven, and with a shocking secret.
He will face final judgement.
Has Edie Newbar finally met her match? So we bring him on.
You pretend you know nothing about him.
Shock, horror, reveal.
You humiliate him.
I know the drill.
But really push it to fight stage.
Then he rallies and sings.
We line up lots of people in the audience to whoop, then you slowly rise to your feet and clap.
Right, can the prick actually sing? Oh, I think so.
It's opera.
The guy's a bona fide murderer.
This isn't just us.
This is going to be news.
He's good for eight weeks.
Eight weeks? Minimum.
We need Gordon in make-up now.
That's good.
I'm coming.
Your Honour, there are many grounds on which I could defend my client today.
Glen Hansi - family man and production manager at an aluminium-guttering company.
I could argue emotional stress.
His wife of eight years recently left him for another woman, which has seen him in the hands of a psychologist with whom he's already confronting head-on the issue of substance abuse.
Yes.
Indeed, there is considerable precedent for such a submission.
But I'm not going to argue that today, Your Honour.
I could argue that his contact with his two young children will be severely curtailed if he cannot drive and that his career in aluminium extrusions could be lost.
Crown and Bayliss, indeed.
But I'm not going to argue any of these here today.
Then why mention them? Because, Your Honour, there are bigger fish to fry here today.
Which still begs my initial question - why bother to mention the other reasons at all? I'm trying to establish a context, Your Honour.
What if I could prove here and now that the entire foundation of this case and potentially thousands of similar cases are open to serious question? What if I were to say that there may be prisoners languishing in prison today who are entirely innocent or at the very least worthy of acquittal on the basis of a fundamentally flawed technology? I would say, get on with it, and quick.
Indeed.
And to that end, let me call Dr Elliott Humberstone, PhD from Princeton, post-doctoral thesis from Harvard and foundation member of the famed Garrault Institute for Future Sciences.
Fine, but can you get him to jog to the stand? Dr Humberstone, could you detail for the court's benefit the body of your work for the past 35 years? Oh, please don't.
I'm prepared to accept that he's a qualified scientist.
Indeed.
Dr Humberstone, some years ago, you began research into the technology behind breath-testing.
Yeah, I did do that, yes.
Yes.
Can you tell the court what prompted this? An epiphany, one of those great moments in science where I realised the basis upon which the taking of alcohol samples from motorists was premised on a questionable scientific hypo hypothesis.
Is something wrong there, Doctor? A mild head cold, Your Worship.
Honour.
That the residual accretion of alcoholic vapours inside the very mechanism of the machine contributed in no small part Mr Greene, is your so-called expert witness three sheets to the wind in my court? No, I don't believe so.
Why is he wobbling in his chair, then? He has an inner-ear issue, Your Honour.
I, however, have his findings right here.
If it please the court, I could possibly read them out.
I will not tolerate drunks in my court, Mr Greene.
I'm used to derision.
I've been mocked before.
But I have the science to back up Remove this man from my court.
Mr Greene, I realise that this is your first case since your release, but I've a good mind to find you in contempt.
Your Honour, I have no idea what's happened.
When I met him a couple of weeks ago, he was like a scientist in a movie.
Given that you have refused to plead any alternatives, I find your client guilty.
I remove his licence for 12 months and fine him $1,500.
Next.
Don't even think about sending a fucking bill.
Ah, that's a shame.
You'll be back in the harness soon.
Saddle, you fuckwit.
What the hell is going on, mate? I don't want to do that song.
I want to sing the aria from Tosca.
I can do it unaccompanied.
Let me tell you a little something, Mal.
I don't really know if you can sing or not.
Opera all sounds the same to me.
The only thing I do know is either you can play things our way, or the road to obscurity lies that way.
You have just seconds to choose.
Malcolm, is it? You're our .
.
surprise card, is that it? Tell us about yourself.
Why haven't we heard of you? You're not exactly young.
What were you doing before now? Don't tell me - you were a mime artist.
I was in prison.
What for? I just want to sing.
You were in for wanting to sing? It says here murder.
Your father.
Is that right? Righto, Mal.
Give it a go.
Try not to murder the song.
- Aw! - What?! Did I say something wrong? Fantastic.
Now just give it 30 seconds.
Let the tension build to fever.
Then walk back on as Valjean You know what?! You know what? Fuck Valjean.
Fuck you.
You stole my mother's phone.
No, I didn't.
Then why are a lot of pissed people ringing her, demanding legal representation? OK, maybe I borrowed it by mistake for a couple of days.
You're buying her a new phone and you are paying her last phone bill.
Hello? Yeah.
No, mate.
Look, I'm sorry.
I can't get your licence back.
No, I I know it said that on the website.
OK, same to you.
Same to you, pal.
Oh, mate! Oh, it's so good to see you.
Oh, I've missed you! How are you, and what's all this shit about you going to the Congo? You know it's the most dangerous place on earth.
I know.
I don't want to talk about that.
I came to apologise.
I want to say, I'm sorry for kind of cutting you off, not visiting so much the past few months.
Oh, that's OK.
It must have been a bit embarrassing.
No, that's not why I stopped coming.
I started to get really angry with you, and I had no right to do that.
Yes, you did.
I was completely furious with myself.
You are who you are.
You can't change that.
No, I can change, and I'm going to change.
No.
People kept telling me you couldn't, and I wouldn't believe them.
You're just someone people can't rely on, and that's OK.
I just I had no right to expect any better.
Fuzz, if this is about dropping out of school No, I don't want to study.
I want to be someone who can help people.
I want to be someone people can rely on.
Mate, for someone who's forgiven me, you sound pretty angry.
I promise you, I'm not.
I just don't want to have any expectations of you anymore.
It's too hard.
I'm fine with it.
Well no.
I'm your father.
We have a special relationship.
OK.
I'll call you in a few days, Cleave, catch up before I leave.
'Dad'.
Come on, at least call me 'Dad'.
Fuck.
There's a call for you.
Can you just tell them I can't fix any fucking thing? It's your friend Mal.
Oh, the turtle show! Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
Mate! Oh, mate, I'm so sorry.
The taxi didn't arrive, and I couldn't How did it go? Oh, I'm sorry.
No, don't be stu Don't be crazy, mate.
Where are you? What are you doing? What are you doing, Malcolm? No! Get down.
Stop! You stay back.
You stay back.
It's over, Cleave.
Oh, mate.
No, it's all finished now.
Oh, mate, come on.
Look, you've got another 50 years.
Is this all about some fucking stupid talent quest? No.
That was it, mate.
The world will always be full of people who want to judge you.
You can't let them.
Don't give them that power.
Don't give them that power! OK? Look, things aren't turning out all that well for me either at the moment, but you have to believe that things can change, alright? They change.
They do.
No, some lives don't change, do they, Cleave? Some lives .
.
never really get started.
They're just fucked fucked up from the beginning.
It just goes on and on.
I never sang for you, did I, mate? I wish I had.
Well, come on, mate - fucking sing now! Sing your sing your little heart out.
Come on.
And then will you get down off the railing? Mate.
Mate, that's fucking amazing! That is fucking amazing.
Come on, keep singing, mate.
Keep singing! Keep singing.
It's fucking beautiful.
Come on, mate.
I told you I could do it.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck! Fuck.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck.