Richard Hammond's Workshop (2021) s03e02 Episode Script

This could actually be the biggest
thing the Cog has ever done.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Louis Chiron's '47 Delahaye!
Now, what if we went racing
to attract motorsport jobs?
Silverstone. Oh, God, what am I doing?
Oh, that's serious, innit? Oh,
God. It's stopped on the circuit.
It now has a name,
Doris Day. Lasts a day.
Something worked!
Two years ago, I set up a
classic car restoration business
with the Greenhouse family.
He can recover any vehicle!
Turning my passion into
a successful business
with my family in tow Choo-choo!
..hasn't exactly been plain
sailing. No, Mother, shush.
But things are finally on the up.
We've got work How far
do you want to go with it?
..new staff. Oh!
We're racing again. Never drive
that quick on the way to work.
And we're going
international. Merci, Monsieur!
I just hope I haven't taken on too much.
Ah! I've got that "gone wrong" feeling.
Ugh. This weather does
not reflect my mood,
because today I am solving a problem.
You know when something's just on
your mind, just nagging and you just,
in quiet moments, you come back to it?
Well, the problem is this
..Mindy's Mercedes.
Last year, in a rare rush of enthusiasm,
Mindy expressed a desire to
get back into classic cars.
But this car isn't right for her.
She likes classic cars, but not so much
that she'll maintain it and put it away.
You see, this is the sort of thing
that Mindy's just not gonna do.
She's going to realise the
tyre's a bit soft and leave it,
which means it gets other
problems through not being used.
Right. I do have a replacement in mind.
Where I want to get to is bringing Mindy
back into the world of classic cars.
We could maybe go on classic car
rallies together and have fun.
And the first part
of achieving that plan
involves me getting rid of this.
Right. And on this
occasion, please, start.
What the hell?
What's he doing with my car?
I'm avoiding what might
have been a painful goodbye.
It is, honestly, she'll be
all upset that the car's gone,
but she hasn't driven it in
ages. We have discussed this.
There's a lot of smoke and mirrors
goes on regarding vehicles around here.
I'm just a little bit concerned because
we had this very odd
conversation the other day,
and he's talking about some Mustang.
I think Richard Hammond has
spotted something he wants,
and he's done some man maths, but
he's done man maths with my car.
Hello. Hello. Right. Are you busy?
Mm, yeah, why? Yeah, well, you are
now, because this is Mindy's Merc.
I need to take it somewhere,
hasn't been used in a long time.
It just needs Can
you give it a once-over?
Maybe give it a bath. It does
need one, yeah. Yeah, if you would.
Morning, Soph. Good morning. You
all right? Yes, everything good?
Kamla's been after you. Doubtless to
compliment me on my business decisions.
I'm sure. Oh, and by the way,
if Mindy calls, I'm not in.
Actually I think I know what
Kamla might be after me about.
The drinks bill at our RAC launch
of the Delahaye the other day
might be a bit bigger than expected.
Erm, thing is that event was all about
us moving up to the next level.
High-quality, high-class
expensive work.
So it might be time
to talk seriously about
upping our hourly rate.
Hello! Oh, hi, Richard, hi.
Thanks for jumping on the Zoom
at short notice. That's OK.
No worries. I've
received the invoice today
from the club for the Delahaye.
Yeah. It's double our budget. Ah.
So drinks alone are just under £1,300.
But if we're going to
exist at the top level,
we need to have a bit of
style, a bit of panache.
We don't have the finances to
do that, Richard. All right.
I think Oh, God! Oh,
what are you going to say?
I think it's time we
raise our hourly rate.
Amazing! Richard, this is the
news I've been waiting for.
What if we went to £95 from £65,
so we're not three figures an hour?
That's about right. All
right, Kamla, I got it.
We're going to do it. Lovely
to see you. You take care. Bye.
It's a day I knew was
coming. It just feels awkward.
I don't want to feel like
I'm trying to squeeze people.
But the fact of the matter is
that's how much I need to squeeze
them in order to provide the
service I want to provide them.
So here we go, off to the workshop.
Just be interesting to see
what's there or not there.
For example, my car.
I won't feel bad about whoever
buys this car cos it is a good car.
Yeah, it's a classic car
you could use daily.
That's the point, it needs
using daily, cos otherwise,
it goes off the boil. Right.
That's on and not coming off.
OK. Wish me luck. See you.
Hello. Oh, hello. Erm, have
you seen my Mercedes at all?
Didn't it go off to
the specialist? Neil.
It looked really nice
and shiny, I'll say that.
Had it just been cleaned?
Yeah. Hm. It looked lovely.
Neil appears to be slightly in the dark
about the whole Mercedes
disappearing. I think he knows
a little bit more than he's letting on.
The mystery continues.
Last year, we started
a classic car race team.
While I'm discreetly
dispatching Mindy's Merc
to a classic car dealer friend,
I've asked the lads to get the
race car out of winter storage.
Finally we're going to get
the MGB out, and hopefully,
get it back out racing this year.
If I get a trophy that Richard
can stick it in his office,
it would mean so much to me.
Oh! It's not got lighter.
Keep going, keep going.
There we go, hold on.
Oh, I definitely need to get into shape.
If we can get out there
this year, make her reliable,
then I can carry on living the
boys dream of being a race driver.
How much have we got to do to it? A lot.
I think we push this more
than it drives itself.
Ah, she's home.
The biggest worry for me is
last year was a total failure.
I'm worried Richard is going
to pull the whole project.
There's an elephant in the
room, erm, our race team.
Last race season, we had
a go, and it was my idea,
and it's a good idea. Anthony loves it.
The guys enjoy it. But there's
just the small matter of the cost.
I need to have a word.
Anthony? Yeah. Have
you got five minutes?
Yeah, of course, I
have. Can we have a chat?
Right. Some grown-up,
sensible thoughts.
We've got to be realistic.
Hi, Rich. Wotcha. All OK?
Absolutely. Grab a chair. Yeah.
You know what happened last year.
We didn't finish a race. Yeah.
And it did cost a lot. Yeah, I know.
Last year cost a lot more than
we thought it was going to.
Yeah. What state is the
car in? Not the best.
Erm, there is value in it, so
I'd like to carry on doing it.
I'd like us to
- I thought you were gonna go,
'That's it, game over.' No,
mate. Well, look, it means a lot.
So I think you need to take
some more responsibility for it.
Stand up a bit more and run it.
It's a lot of responsibility.
I'm up for that. You've gotta manage it.
You've got to control the costs. The
main cost, I think, we've spent
But the car doesn't work.
But the car doesn't work.
I'll crack on. You see, I think
that's the right way to go.
He's young, Anthony.
He hasn't been burdened with a
lot of responsibility at work.
So I think him taking that on,
it's going to be a huge success.
Right. Where might it be?
Mercedes.
Oh, my God. Here it is. "For sale."
"A stunning and totally
original example."
Oh! "Owned by Mindy Hammond." Right.
Hello, you've reached Richard.
It's gone to answering machine.
'Course it has. 'Course it
has. But it is me speaking.
Hm.
Mobile reception is a bit
dodgy in Devon, it's a shame.
Sophie's sent us down
here to scope out a job,
but if we can't charge our new
rate, we will not take it on.
So, erm, Delta Integrale. Oh.
They are Lancias, Italian,
and they will rust.
If you think it's not worth
doing because it needs more work
than he's got the budget to
afford, scratch your head.
And I will be looking. All right, yeah.
This is the postcode. Oh, eh?
Er, that's a wildlife park.
Oh, Sophie, what have you done?
What we need is a human.
We know he's called Alan.
Oh, look at them! Neil,
we're not on a day trip.
Little baby one, there, look.
Yes. Oh! Hello, are you Alan?
Hello. Have you seen
Alan? Hang on a minute.
Alan? Hello, Alan.
Where's your Lancia, Alan?
I don't think he's got a
Lancia, but I might have one.
Hello, mate. Hi, Alan. Nice to meet you.
You are Alan! Hi, Alan.
So, what is this place?
This is Combe Martin
Wildlife and Dinosaur Park.
We've got all sorts of animals.
Sea lions, lions, wolves.
You name it, we've got it. Let's
have a look at the Lancia. OK.
See you, Alan. Let's
go and look at the car.
Ah, so this is the Lancia
enclosure. It is, indeed.
Right. Let's have a look.
It doesn't bite, obviously.
It's been in here a while,
hasn't it? When was it last run?
About three years ago. Right.
That's something breathing
in there. You've got a nest.
Possibly rats. How far
do you want to go with it?
My whole idea is to sell it
to raise money so I can finish
the Amur leopard enclosure
on the other side of the park.
It's the most endangered big cat in
the world. About 100 left in the world.
How much can you spend on the
car to get it ready for sale?
Realistically, about 15 grand.
15 grand? Less would be better.
Have you got big cats here now
then? Yeah. What, like proper?
Up on the other side of
the valley, I'll show you.
I thought I'd seen something in
there. Flies out here or something?
This is the leopards. This
is what it's all about.
No matter how much he wants to do it, there's
no way is this car coming home with us.
We're gonna feed some leopards, if
you're feeling up for it. I feel honoured.
Oh, look at him. You wouldn't
want to be on the wrong side
of that cat, would you? No.
I mean, look at it. It's a fab
car, but 15 grand is not gonna pay
to get that sorted and sellable.
Oh, you can feel the power in his
jaws! That's him just being gentle.
He's going to want us
to do it. I know he is.
As soon as he said panther
enclosure, or whatever it is.
If that gate wasn't there, he
would literally rip you to pieces
wouldn't he? Yes. Richard Hammond
would be nothing but a snack.
I'm putting my foot down. This
car is staying here. I'm sorry.
So sad that when you think
there's only 100 left in the world.
This is the point. This
is what we're doing it for.
With your help Yeahwe can
build the rest of their enclosure.
Alan's got two leopards and he
wants to start a breeding program.
To actually be able to
help an animal that is
on the verge of extinction,
how could you say no?
What a brilliant day
that's been. Oh, yeah.
Ah, that leopard. Unbelievable.
And Lenny, the lion.
Oh, can you buy wallabies then? You can
probably have them at home, can't you?
My missus would love them. Oh,
beautiful. That little baby one,
there's a baby one in a
pouch, like a kangaroo.
Ah, that's great.
So, Mindy collared me last night
about the whole Mercedes situation.
I think she gets it. I'm
not trying to undermine her.
I want to replace it with
something that she will use.
And what I've found, erm,
is a classic '64 Mustang,
a car she's always loved. Who doesn't?
But this one has a brand-new engine,
which means it won't break down.
It will be reliable. That's what we want,
if she's gonna use it, that's the idea.
Another reason we need reliability
with this classic car is,
I've booked us into a classic car rally.
The Pennine 1000. It's
in a couple of weeks,
and you need a driver and a
navigator working together.
A lot of couples do these.
It's a way of sharing
the classic car experience.
I think it will be great fun.
Let's see what this old
fella's got for us then.
I hope you're as excited about
this as I am, cos under here
is a piece of '80s history.
Best things come from the '80s.
You're gonna like this. Oh, hang
on, stop there a minute. Stop there.
That's one of my
favourite cars of all time.
Is that an Integrale? It is.
A 'Disintegrale', I
mean, an Integrale. Yes.
What do you mean, a
Disintegrale? Is it that bad?
Don't seem to be getting
much better as it goes back.
I think it's lovely. What's
that big hole in the roof?
Er, I don't see no hole.
Anyway, besides that, what
a beautiful piece of car.
Would you not wanna take that
home? Before we say anything else,
can we just look underneath it? I
reckon it'll be mint. I'm pretty sure.
The problem is, Lancias are
not known for good metal.
Yeah, you're going to get a bit
of corrosion. A bit of corrosion?
Look at that. That's still got
the factory under-seal on it.
The floors don't look bad.
It's mint, to be honest.
I wouldn't go as far as mint. Can
I have a look at my department?
You want to have a look at the engine?
There you are. Look at that!
Remember them days? Proper twin-cam.
So has he got a good budget?
I reckon you're looking at 30k.
What was in that nest? Can
you stop avoiding the answer?
Well, the thing is He's got 15 grand.
Not being funny, like,
did you have a good look
at this car over there
or was you looking at
dinosaurs and animals?
Right, now let me explain this to you.
The chap that owns this car
Yeah. Which is his pride and joy
Yeahhe's willing to sacrifice
this car to be sold at auction
because he needs the money to
pay for a leopard enclosure.
Ah, so you were playing with
animals then? No, it was a busi -
It all makes sense now, why
you were so happy. Anyway,
these leopards, there's
only 100 left in the world.
They'll breed them This
is seriousand release them
back into Asia. So we're
doing this to save leopards?
I really think Richard
was quite overwhelmed
with the situation, because on the
way back, he was lost for words.
When's he want this back
for? The deadline is really
what we can do for the hours.
Before the leopards die out.
Well, yeah. How long do
they live for? I don't know.
Until they stop breathing, I think.
That Lancia is the last
thing we need right now.
I've just put the rate up to
£95 an hour, which we need to do
to make a tiny bit of profit, but
it's only got a 15-grand budget.
Well, that's not enough.
As soon as Anthony has got
that Italian money pit running,
I need him off it and
on our MGB race car,
because I've had an idea to
kick-start our race season
for this year. It's good.
I'm about to consult with
our racing guru, Ric Wood.
He runs an amazing team,
builds incredible race cars,
and he has actually been
really generous with his advice
- and help, so I'm asking him a favour.
- Hello. Hello.
You've gone invisible. I can't
see your cheery northern face.
Hang on, hang on. There it is. Hello.
Hello. How are you? I'm
all right, thank you.
Erm, just to reiterate, how
grateful I am for all the advice
you gave us last time. Yeah.
Erm, I want to go again,
and I was going to give Anthony
a lot more responsibility for it.
I think that would be a good idea
because he's got the most to gain
and the most to lose. And this
is where I want to ask a favour.
He needs to get a taste
of how it should work.
What if I sent Ant and the MGB up
to you just for a couple of days?
Erm, I'd love it. Yeah, send him up.
I'll give him some
lessons he won't forget.
I had a feeling! Listen,
I want him to come back
with some stuff he can apply
here. Yeah, that sounds good.
Thank you. On that note, I need
a little favour from you. Yes.
I've got Donnington
Historic Festival coming up
and I need to get a
Skyline painted very fast.
Is this a racing Skyline?
This is a racing Skyline.
Well, look, we have just put our
rate up. If you do the favour for me,
I'll certainly do it at the old
rate. When can you get it to me?
I'll get it to you tomorrow, if
that's OK. Right. This is good!
You're doing a favour for me.
I'll do a little favour for you.
I'll get it up to you tomorrow.
All right. Thank you. OK. Bye-bye.
So that is our first motorsport
job. It's why we got into motorsport.
We'd get work, and we have.
And as a bonus, I'm also
getting Anthony trained.
I might have had a good
idea. It feels a bit odd
..in my tummy, it's
like sort of indigestion.
Italian cars, as all Italian
owners know, will give them grief.
At the moment, there's an
immobiliser playing up a bit.
So I've got Isaac in the
back running the fuel pump
manually for me. So
it's the moment of truth.
Ooh!
Go on, girl. Because it's
been stood for so long,
you'll probably find the
injectors are all clogged up.
I thought you were
getting this running well.
Oh, it's sounding better.
We've got oil pressure,
so oil pressure is good. Oh!
Ooh! Ooh!
That's the injectors coming
to life! She's alive! Oh!
The best bit of my job is
when you get the excitement
of actually getting something
running for the first time in years.
Can't run it for too long
cos it can't get too hot.
But that's positive signs
from the old Italian Lancia.
Yeah. Well, yeah, but will it run?
And you can't get one in the
UK? You must be able to, surely.
All right. Talk soon. Bye.
Bad news. The Mustang I was
going to buy is not working.
It's turning out not to be reliable yet.
I've already handed the Merc
over for sale, that's gone.
But I've booked us
into the Pennine rally
and I haven't got a car to do it in.
OK, I might have a little panic.
Anthony's on his way up north for
a motorsport mechanic boot camp.
He's only ever really worked for
his dad, and how can I put this?
Laser-like focus and speed
aren't always his thing.
Ric can teach me a lot
going forward with the MG.
He'll become my mentor, hopefully,
because without covering the
costs of it and making it work,
the business can't sustain the racing.
Morning, Ric. Anthony, good to see you.
You brought the MGB? She's
outside. Let's get it off.
Let's have a look. Perfect.
She's in. Bless her. Right,
Anthony, when we go racing,
on the way home, we'll start making
a list of stuff we need to do.
Order the parts, make the
parts. So we've done all that.
I take it you've got a
piece of paper in your pocket
that you're gonna
give me? I haven't. No?
It was put into the barn
and forgotten about. Right.
Which was obviously the wrong thing to have
done. It was totally the wrong thing to do.
So we need to look
through this car. Yeah.
You look around it for ten minutes.
Then I'll look around it for
three minutes. We'll compare our lists.
Ric's put me on edge a bit
now because he's telling me
to check this car over
and I'm worried now
I'm going to look an idiot.
What this feels like now is
being at school, doing a test,
and then the teacher is going
to walk in and mark it for me.
And that's one thing I
used to be terrified of.
Morning. Morning. I've been
asked to bring this down
for you gents. I'm excited
to see what's in there.
Oh! That'll be Ric's Skyline then.
The Cog's part of the deal
with Ric is to get the body
of this 200k Nissan Skyline
resprayed in just two days.
There she is. Looks a nice job.
Fabrication looks beautiful on it.
It's going to be a quick
turnaround. You know motorsport.
The trouble is, Ric is
helping Anthony with the racing
so we've got to do Ric a
knockdown deal on the Skyline.
But it's time-critical,
it's a lot of work,
and the one thing we ain't got is time.
God, they've done some
welding under there.
Yeah. It's a lot of work, innit?
That's 11 minutes. How far
through the car have you got?
I've been around it. Right.
Why does your list look
a lot bigger than mine?
Let's start at the top.
What's on your list?
OK, so I've gone for
radiator. Yeah. Auto fan.
Maybe go for a straight-cut gearbox.
I've put check wheel bearings,
check for leaks all around.
So when you say check,
have you noticed anything? No. OK.
Do you want me to go
through my list? Yeah.
Obviously, the radiator, the fan.
You didn't notice both callipers
dripping down onto the wheel.
Are they? Softer front springs.
That's even
Ah! Ah! Ah! It's coming back to me now.
It's coming, it's flooding.
Cos we tried those ones once,
but they weren't quite big enough, were
they? There's no excuse. You've messed up.
So there's nothing we can do on this
until you get sorted with the parts.
If I can help anywhere else
and learn anywhere else.
Well, people here start at
seven. It's half eight at the Cog.
That's at your place, not mine.
He's made many mistakes today.
I'm hoping by the end of tomorrow,
we might be able to just,
erm, show him the light.
Hello. Hello. Have
you got a minute? Yes.
I need you to talk to
Neil, if that's OK. Now?
Yeah. Element of mystery.
I'll finish that later. OK, I'm coming.
Hola. You all right? How's it going?
Be better when this goes from here.
Yes. How is it going, do
you think? Nightmare. Why?
When I was at Tram Inn, I
used to avoid these things
like the plague because
they're just so much work.
Avoid what things? Anything
with a roll cage in it.
Compared with a normal
car that comes in,
what you're not going to find is rust.
There's not a lot of fabrication.
It's just, it's a car. Yeah.
So that's good. It's good in a way.
But if you had to charge the hours
to do this job, whoever owns
the car wouldn't want to pay it.
Right, Neil Hm?..I've
spent 50 grand going racing
Hm?..in order to
attract motorsport jobs.
Yeah. We don't mind motorsport
jobs, but not all of them.
I have an appointment with the canal,
a bag of bricks, and a length of rope.
Can I go and get on with
that? Help yourself. Yep.
Ah, that went well.
This makes me want to
think very carefully
about the whole racing thing.
If it isn't the door to countless jobs,
why the hell am I doing it?
It's early. I'm trying to
get to Ric's before seven.
I'm nervous, cos I
know Ric's gonna give me
a proper grilling and put
me through my paces today.
6:58am. So I made it
before seven, which is good.
Right. Yeah. Today, we're
gonna fit this engine. OK.
You're gonna be working
with Mark. Nice to meet you.
This is gonna be running in four hours.
It's only an engine. What could go wrong?
Thank you. Get on with it. Cheers, Ric.
We'll get the clutch on first
and then measure the stack height.
If you want to stack that up for
us, following the instructions.
So, near engine, that
one, that goes like that.
That goes on there.
Then your plate goes on.
Yep, like that. It's just
basically a big sandwich.
One thing I've noticed this
morning is how fast Mark's working.
He's just clean, clean, clean,
bolt, bolt, bolt, done, done, done.
I'm struggling to keep up
visually. So have we got time for a
quick tea break or?
Well, you can clock out,
lose half an hour's wages, have a
brew, and clock back in. How's that?
We'll carry on. We'll carry on.
The thing is, I've worked with
Dad now for a lot of years,
and I think Dad's now
taken me to his limit.
So, if I can actually build this
gearbox and Ric says it's OK,
I'd actually go home so chuffed.
This one's heavy. Right, hang on.
Straight. Straight at the back.
Right. She's in. Job done. She's in.
I'm getting quite a big buzz
out of today cos I'm actually
not so scared of actually tackling
jobs that are normally sent away.
You've seen just a
tiny, little bit. Yeah.
But hopefully, it's opened
your eyes. Massively.
So I want to say thank
you, and I'll see you soon.
Thank you. All right. See you soon.
Ah, the Skyline. What a wonderful job.
You cannot paint the
whole thing in one go.
Gotta mask the floor,
then we do the insides,
gotta mask the roof, then
mask all the interior.
Very technical. You've got to think
ahead. It's like a game of chess.
Morning, you're in
bright and early. Morning.
I've been here an hour and a
half. What was it like at Ric's?
Oh, mate, their work
ethic is totally different.
But have you brought back stuff
that we can apply here? A lot.
Good. And I'm going to put
it to great use. Good lad.
I might need your help later on. That's
fine. Carry on. See you. Cheers, man.
In the midst of all the
drama about the Skyline,
I sort of forgot I've booked Mindy
and me onto a classic car rally
this weekend. And since
the Mustang fell through,
I haven't got a car.
But then I thought I have got a
car, I've got my classic E-type.
But it has let us down a couple of times
in the past, which it cannot do again
because I'm trying to sell Mindy
on the idea of classic cars.
So, I'm putting my overalls
on to make it reliable.
I'm going to change the
bushes, like, rubber mountings
on the rear suspension that
change the way the car feels.
It will feel reliable. It'll
feel It'll give her confidence.
So he's mentioned something
to me about going on a rally.
In his little head, he
imagines I'm Grace Kelly
and he's going to be some dapper chap,
when actually the reality
is he's going to be there
in his flat cap and I'm
going to be there in a kagool.
I'd be quite happy if we
could go somewhere warm.
Well, I'd be happier.
The problem here is, if
you pull the wheel back,
it gets stuck on the wing.
So, once I've disconnected
the shock-absorbers from this,
this will drop, and then
I can get the wheel out.
Anthony, would you drift
this pin out all the way?
If you just keep it going.
There's no tension on it. There is.
I'm going to do it a
different way. Watch.
If you break it, it's your
car. I'm not going to break it.
See, now they're both free.
Thank you, I can carry on now.
Sure? No, I'll be back
in a minute. Right.
Ant.
That's not going to come out. It will.
Ooh, ooh! Oh! I
apologise, you were right.
OK, is there anything
else while we're under here
that I should be doing? What's going on?
Why's Anthony here? He's
meant to be on the Lancia.
OK, I'll go, before I
get into trouble again.
I didn't steal him. Leave him
alone. I will leave him alone. OK.
I could be in trouble.
The plan with that E-Type was that
he was going to do it all by himself.
How do I get that out? There's
a kit over there somewhere.
Come with me. You'll have
to go around the back,
because Sophie's watching us.
Oh. It's not as easy as it looks.
I think I'm going to hand
Richard a little bill for this.
He's managed to rope
in Anthony and Neil,
who I'm looking at right now. Ah!
That was brutal. It's going
swimmingly well, by the look of it.
Slightly trickier bit, re-assembly.
The last time he used
that car with Mindy,
it let them down at Prescot.
Bastard! Bring it to me.
He's gone and sold Mindy's Merc,
which wasn't the most reliable thing,
but now he's taken that. Oh, bugger.
That is gonna be a challenge.
I don't really know how to do this.
So now we're going in the E-Type
that broke down when we
went on a rally before.
Slightly worrying, if I'm honest.
I hope to prove to my wife that
classic cars and thus my
entire world are worthy
of her attention and
maybe even admiration.
The thought of tootling
around country lanes
with me trying to navigate and him
not following instructions are
Hm. Oh, God.
I am thrilled because
it's today, the rally,
the one I've been waiting to do.
We leave here. And then there
are, I think, ten stages.
So it's quite intense.
Navigator and driver
have to work together very
closely. It's all about teamwork.
There's so many
husbands' and wives' names
on the cars in the car park.
There have had to be some
changes made to my team
in just minor ones.
Mindy Hammond? Morning. Really?
You look fresh and radiant.
Do I look sexy, Rich? Maybe
to another one of your kind.
His kind being Cumbrian sheep farmer,
vintage car nut, and my oldest friend.
Right, much to do. These are
all the instruments you've got.
And then you've got
a bag full of gubbins.
If I was at home, I'd light
the fire with that. Right.
We have to hit an average
speed in the timed stages. Yeah.
If we're going to travel at
43km an hour average Right.
..you now know from this,
that in 1.24 minutes,
we should have travelled one kilometre.
Right. It's going to be
a lot of maths in this.
You're stressing me over
the navigation thing.
You navigate, I'll drive.
Have you actually
bailed out of navigating immediately?
No! I'm going to give it a go later on.
Slowly, slowly. We don't want a
bubble in the middle, remember?
Is now the time to say I need
a piss? I also need to pee.
But we haven't got time!
Doing well in the rally depends
on picking up as few penalty points
as possible. You get these
either by going too fast
or too slow in the timed stages.
30 seconds. Not long
enough. Order your thoughts.
I haven't got any thoughts! Off you go!
Er, left.
And then at 0.8. This
isn't a brilliant start.
It's just getting used to,
you know, its little quirks.
Oh! That's reverse. Sorry,
mate. Don't worry about it.
Do I make you nervous driving your car?
No, I don't want you to
be kicked to death by me
for having crashed it.
This button zeroes the distance counter
so we can accurately measure
the stages on our charts.
We're only 0.23km down
here, and then we are into
the first timed stage.
That will go beep.
That's it, we're in it
now. We're in it now.
And I haven't zeroed
it like an idiot. OK.
So when we go over
Lingberge Beck Yeah.
..I've got to zero, or I'll
never get back on track.
There it is. There's the Beck.
Don't forget it's a Jaguar, it will rust.
Boom, zeroed it. And it's rusting.
Keep your speed up again. I'm
assuming they don't make us
drive like lunatics.
I bet you, the only -
Oh, no! It's one of your lot! A farmer.
Oh, mate, you've ruined
it. We're now down at ten.
Farmers, honestly.
There's a right turn
coming up now. Brilliant.
Turn right here. OK. Hammer it.
Whatever you can do legally
and safely. Go on, foot in.
Left here. Left? Er, no.
Right here. Right? No, left. Left.
I reckon you should give it
about 40 when you can. Yeah.
Ooh. Is that us out? It shouldn't be.
I've got that "gone
wrong" feeling. Oh, my God.
This didn't This
isn't right. Oh. What?
We're in a bloody. But we had
a pong there for the other one?
This isn't making any sense.
Oh, my God, I'm miles out!
Leslie? Yeah, mate? I
was on the wrong page.
Don't worry. We were
still in the original zone!
And we've done five kilometres more
than we're supposed to have done.
Do you want me to stop a minute? Yeah.
Go, go! Go, go, go.
You've got to be at 42!
The original deal was we would swap now.
How many miles have
we done so far? 59km.
Right, we could do with
stopping for a wee, then, really.
My bladder is so full, it's scary. Yeah.
Look, that's what they're doing.
There's no women in that car?
I don't think so.
He gets a little bit
stressed at moments.
But I think, in the main,
we're doing all right.
Can't be perfect, never done it before.
We're just doing the best we can. Lovely.
Now I'm just having a little drive.
Oh, joy of joys! Wait a minute.
You look so cool. I'd say so.
You are a child behind the wheel!
I was just giving it some
revs. I was driving responsibly!
You are driving like a young teenager
that's been given keys to a Lamborghini.
You've been navigating for 30 seconds
and you're shouting at me!
I'm not shouting at you.
You called me a child. Child.
We're having our first tiff of the trip.
I don't think we've
ever had an argument,
but this enough to test any friendship.
Might be a blessing
that Mindy didn't come.
We're coming up to our route now.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Feel the pressure!
Which page are we on, Rich? Oh, Lord!
Vindolanda? No, we've passed that. OK.
Oh, we're in a timed thing. I
don't know where we are. Right.
OK. Let's zero the thing. There we are.
The button's gone in and
it won't come out, Rich.
Well, it doesn't work. You've sat on it!
No, it wasn't. It was just here.
Under your arse? No, it wasn't.
So you'll have to gauge the
distances with guesswork.
This is a lot more stressful than
sitting in that seat. Isn't it?
God, this is gorgeous. That, that I get.
Look at the view he's
got from his farm! Yeah.
Look at that house over
there. That's beautiful.
I am smiling a lot now.
Right, mate, that's us. Yes.
Shall we just go to the pub
and leave it? I'd be quite
interested in doing that.
Well, Richard, I bet you'd
like to know how you've done.
I'm happy to tell you
that you're not first.
- Oh, for God's sake!
- You are in fact -
Yes? 12th. Out of? 12.
Wow! About the same thing. Thank you.
I've never done a classic car
rally. And I know, from the outside,
you think maybe it's a bit nerdy,
but if it is, we're all nerds together
having a great time, and
what's wrong with that?
It was a great day with
Les. Now back to reality.
I've got to decide what we're
going to do with our race team.
Our first motorsport
job is completed today.
The last conversation with Neil
about it was not entirely fluffy
and warm, but it's crunch
time. We've got to work out,
is it worth spending money going racing
to attract motorsport-related
work? Cos if it isn't,
I'm not gonna spend money
effectively advertising
for something I don't want.
8:13am, and Ric will be here
half eight, as far as I know.
So you don't get much closer
than this. It takes it out of you.
Cos you're always worrying,
what if this, what if that?
Ric, there is your car.
Morning. Have a look.
Oh, I'm suddenly anxious.
Even Neil's gone quiet.
You know what? You should be
taking this up as a living.
It's really quite good.
We've had a tense moment
or two. Really? Yes.
Because trying to persuade these
two to let anything leave at anything
other than the top standard
they can achieve is impossible.
It has to be a very good standard.
Mm. But it can't be perfect.
It's a working horse. Yeah.
They haven't not moaned about it.
Moaning's normal.
If it brings some more work in and
if somebody wants to pay the money,
I think it will probably pay for itself.
Ric said if a car had come to us
and it needed all the prep doing,
you could be looking at 20, 25 grand,
and at that point, it becomes worth it.
All of which means, for now,
we're still going racing.