Ridiculousness (2011) s03e02 Episode Script

1 Oh, no! Ay, caliente! Oh! What's up? I am Rob Dyrdek.
Welcome to Ridiculousness.
As always, Steelo Brim and the ever-so-square Chanel.
All right, today our guest is a young hip-hop sensation.
His song Donald Trump has 72 million views on YouTube, and recently named Complex magazine's man of next year.
The one and only Mac Miller.
What's up, world? It's Mac Miller.
You ready? - I got in my cup - You can bet your l'chaim! Groupies fall in love, I'm like You must be trippin' I'm just tryin' to f and she just need tuition if you didn't now you know - Never keep your pockets low - Whoo-hoo! Let's go! Yo, ladies and gentlemen, Mac Miller! Welcome.
Let's have some fun, let's have some fun.
What up? Hello.
Whoo! Whoo! How you livin', man? How you livin'? Whoo! - I mean, that's I mean, we just go - Hey, that looked like, "look at his long, illustrious career.
" Hey, man, I'm with it.
That's what you can do with a clip package, man.
I know, once I get more comfortable I'm gonna take off - these sunglasses, but - You wanna know what? Just just whatever it takes to keep you loud and proud.
Okay.
I'm very I'm very awkward and nervous right now, so I'm gonna ease into it.
All right, what can we do to make it mellow? Something that's not allowed.
All right, let's talk about music, man.
Let's talk about music.
For sure, that's my favorite subject.
Okay.
You got a mix tape called K.
I.
D.
S.
, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What does that mean? - Um, well, it's an acronym - Oh, well.
For "Kickin' Incredibly Dope Shit.
" All right, all right.
You know, 'cause that's what me and my homies do.
Oh, okay.
Whoo.
Whoo! Welcome Mac Miller! Ladies and gentlemen, Mac Miller! Check it out.
So, well, you're inspired by kids, kicking incredibly dope shit, right? Yeah.
We were inspired as well, only it was "kicking incredibly dumb shit.
" Hey.
"K.
I.
D.
S.
!" Someone's in here.
This sign says, "no kicking.
" Yo, that's instant karma, because signs have feelings too.
Get outta my seat, beer.
Oh, yeah! Kiai! That was impressive, though.
Like it was his head that hit it.
Oh, man.
That's the last time you call me "sweetheart.
" Oh! That was so tight.
Kiai! He's styled by Kanye, bro, definitely.
Big dude, big kick.
Just kidding.
- Oh Oh, man.
- Oh, my God.
Yeah, that's tight, yo.
Yup.
Uh-huh.
That is not tight.
I'm here to pick up my kids.
You remember me, huh? I'm Cindy with the perfect cunt.
You don't let I'm gonna come in and get my kids myself.
I'm sick of this! Oh! Fuck! Oh, she was having the time of her life till she bloodied up her leg.
You know what I mean? Okay, Mac, tell us about your alter ego Larry Lovestein.
Um, Larry Lovestein he's a Jewish fellow that Yeah, that's real funny.
He's Jewish ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Hey, Larry Lovestein's trying to bring love back, baby, he's just Put the gun down and raise your arms, let's hug.
Hey, sometimes that's all you need is a little bit of jazz music.
I'll tell you what.
In honor of Larry Lovestein, we've created Hairy Lovestein.
Just a bunch of animals makin' love.
You're a little bit bigger than your profile picture, but I'm down.
Oh, come on, now.
Come on, now.
Aw, that's so sad.
Get on in there.
Back it up.
Back it up and drop.
Back it up and drop.
Back it up get in there! Go, go, go, go, go! Whoo! Whoo! Oh, my gosh.
I want what's inside there.
Oh, you are just so fucking sexy.
Hey, that dog's whole family's getting rabies now.
That's such a whammy.
The whole little kid, all of 'em.
You already know.
All right, what do we got cookin' here? Oh, man.
Hey! They goin' in.
I mean, let's just all watch it up close now.
Oh, my God.
Pause, pause, pause! What do you think's going on? You think it's you think it's gennies or buttholes? Well, I think the cocks.
I don't know, do animals know about the buttholes? I hope so.
What up, though? I'm just a fat cat lookin' to beat my cat meat.
This is very romantic and sensual.
You know what? This is a sexy kitty right here.
Oh, oh, right there, right there, right there, okay, oh, oh, oh, oh, perfect.
Thank you so much.
You just cleaned out my sinuses.
Oh, my God.
Okay oh! Jackrabbits, though! That'd be a tight species that would come from that.
A dabbit? A dabbit.
Aah Aah Yes.
Oh, no! That's the best life ever, though.
You just fuck a bitch and go to sleep.
That looks like me, bro.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
Oh, my God.
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are with Mac Miller.
I got you, man.
Watch out for you.
Mac Miller, how long you been rapping, man? I'd say, um, about six is when I picked up the M-I-C and wanted to rip on hot beats.
Okay, all right.
Well, I'll tell you what.
We have some footage of what we believe is one of your very first raps.
Let's take a look at this.
Now what you hear is not a test I'm rapping to the beat Me the groove and my friends are gonna try and move their feet now I am Wonder Mike and I like to say hello That's so cute.
All right, you were confident in that area that you knew that one day you were gonna be a hip-hop sensation.
Yeah, I knew it.
Were you a confident kid or a cocky kid? I would say confident, you know while most kids were thinking about, "hey, like this is my playmobil," I was like, "hey, the meaning of life, reincarnation," like You know? What are you talking about? All these kids in this next video were not thinking about anything like that.
'Cause this is just a bunch of cocky kids.
Yo, yo, my name's Joe Mast.
I'm gonna do some tricks for you.
Get it, man.
Do some tricks, you crazy-ass little motherfucker.
You're a badass.
Oh! Yeah! Go for it! They done fucked up the clubhouse.
So apparently he would've already won the lifetime achievement award if his friend wouldn't have missed the original time they did it, so he's gotta do it again.
Let's get that award, fella! Let's get that award! Ay, caliente! Oh! Fuck! Aww.
I said I'm gonna kick his ass.
You're gonna kick his ass? Oh.
You can't say that.
That's not nice.
That's not nice.
If he's gonna come in here, he's gonna kick my ass.
I don't even know if that qualifies as cocky, that's just the cutest thing I've ever seen.
I already sold 60 boxes.
Shut the fuck up.
60? 60? It's so cool.
I usually sell like 10 boxes, but I sold 60.
And you sold 60? You're amazing.
Bam! Ohh! She's like, "but I sold 60.
" Ow Ow! All right, check it out.
When you feel pain, what do you do? I usually like to recite chingy Holiday Inn in my head.
Kills it all.
You wanna know what, that probably would work for you, you know what I mean? This next category is filled with people the only way they can get away from pain is to run.
And it ain't chingy.
Tap it and get outta here! Get outta here! Get outta here! Get outta here! He got it up the butt.
Ohh.
Number one thing when you get some pain, run from it.
It'll drift away.
Oh! Go, go.
Oh, yeah, my balls.
I'm gonna run over here and check 'em.
The kid that's not riding a bike and just standing there has a helmet on.
Did you see that? "This is a very dangerous trick.
Let me get my helmet too.
" Come on, kid! Eee! Oh! Oh, my God.
Aw, fuck.
Tell him what to do.
Just run it off.
Just run it off.
Let him run it off.
Let him run it off.
Okay, great, now he's in pain.
High-impact nut shot.
Oh, shit.
Get the hell outta here.
Get the hell outta here.
Yay! Oh! When you feel that stupid I'm gonna run over here.
No, I'm running over here 'cause I work at a camp store.
I'm outta here.
Aw, yes! All right, just cookin'.
Oh! Fuck! All right, lost both your shoes, but what really happened? Oh, I farted.
Did you? Did you, or did you just shitted your pants? All right, we will be right back with more Ridiculousness.
Whoo! was very difficult.
I don't really have a lot of celebrity friends.
- But you knew Patrick Harris? - I knew Patrick Harris, he's not my friend.
But I was like I would be so for no reason, I just Patrick Harris.
So We put a live bear in his car.
Like when Ashton Kutcher does it, like Ashton Kutcher like Oh, Ashton, oh, man! But I ran out off his car like, who the fuck are you? Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are hanging out with Mac Miller.
What was the funnest thing about doing a live show in front of a concert full of thousands of people screaming your name? The tits.
No, but for real.
'Cause it's like no matter how many tits you see, it's like every time you're like, "yes!" Oh, man.
Like, they ha there's three steps.
There's like, okay, let me get hoisted up on someone's shoulders, and then let me look down at my tits and be like, "were you doing this? Are we doing this?" And it's it's always like it's not just an eas it's like aah! What about stage diving, man? It's just really fun.
Except for the times that girls try and put their finger in my butt, but like Okay.
I mean like it's all right.
- It's not bad, it's - It goes down.
Every time you jump into the crowd, it's a leap of faith.
Right.
You're just hoping that they're all gonna hold you up and not finger your booty hole.
Yo, you better be careful, you're gonna get a finger in the ass.
I'm gonna jump into this piece of bologna.
Oh! Why would you trust this rag that's already covered in blood? I'm ready, I'm not ready, I'm ready, I'm not ready! No, I'm ready.
Okay, it's too late, I'm dying.
Oh, you're good, you're good.
Dude is gonna jump into the snow.
Oh, crazy.
Oh.
And guess what, Spencer's gonna suffocate.
How you gonna pull your head out of there? What's that? What's that? Hell, yeah, I'll stage dive! No, can you just get down? Shit, no, I'm diving! Oh! When you go to stage dive, you have to look at the strength of the people that are there.
'Cause one time I just jumped and then and on the way down I looked down, I was like, "oh, that's what, six 13-year-old girls, I mean, this is not good.
" And you dropped to the ground? Oh, no, they were like they were straight.
That's true.
Okay.
America.
America oh, shit.
Aw, fuck, you wanna know what? Fuck it, just cut him loose.
He's fine.
He's got an emergency parachute.
- Just jump? - Yup.
Just jump? Hey, guess what.
Worst-case scenario of your life.
Oh! Did you see that strange, ugly-ass foot right here? You are just fine.
You're going to make it.
What was the weird religious thing he did before? He prayed.
He made something up.
He was like Yeah, he was like Yo, he was like You up there, you up there, down there, whoever, please don't let this rope break.
Thank you, praise God.
All right, you were on tour this summer.
The name of the tour was "Under The Influence," correct? Yeah, fo' sho'.
You got a fake I.
D.
? No, I like to be myself at all times.
Yeah? When I was 19, I went to the Ohio DMV with a birth certificate and social security card and got myself the best fake I.
D.
What was your name on it? William Wheats.
Hey, that's tight.
If I was a rapper, that'd be my rap name.
William Wheats.
Or if you had a cereal.
All right, this next category is simply titled, "Under The Influence.
" Should've been titled, "William Wheats.
" Dart in the head, bitch! Fuck! Oh, for real? Yo, yo Bull's-eye.
Put a dart in your brain.
Go, go, go, go.
Look at how hard he hits his face.
Look, you can see the bam! Bam! I'm just a big, old Saint Paddy's fairy.
Whee! I think your coat's in the closet! Is it? For real? For real.
Coat! Pause.
Pause.
This man has been asked to blow into a breathalyzer, and watch what he does.
All right, all right.
Blow, all right, blow through.
Did he just drink the breathalyzer test? That is so tight.
The cop can't even stay mad.
Look at him, he's like, "fuck it.
Fuck it.
You get to go home.
" You gotta you gotta let him go.
Okay, I'll tell you what, if you try to drink a breathalyzer, you're going straight to jail for like five years.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We're here with Mac Miller.
Okay, recently you tried to punk Wiz Khalifa and it didn't work.
What happened? My homie asked Wiz like, "hey, man, how would you feel about being on punk'd?" So he felt like people were after him.
It made me look really bad.
Well, we dedicated this next category to those who also tried, simply called, "We Tried.
" Whoo! Thank you, one person.
This is gonna be so funny.
Boo! Boo! Ah, fuck! Fuck! Hey, where's his head right now? Oh, my arm.
That's not my arm.
I got you, girl.
What's in the box? Get up, let's go to the farmers market.
Oh! Holy fuck.
This is weirdo shit.
Be careful who you scare with that mask.
Aah! Bam! Holy fuck! Fuck! Oh, my God.
You fucking asshole! What you get for trying to fucking scare me, you piece of fucking shit.
Yeah.
Okay, Mac, this is the portion of the show where we put together two words and we let Chanel guess what she thinks it might be.
- Are you ready, Chanel? - Always.
Happy box.
Oh, man.
Hey.
Okay.
The happy box.
Um I think that all girls She's thinkin' vagina, she's thinkin' vagina.
All girls That's what's going through her, "vagina, vagina, vagina.
" Have happy boxes, but I don't think this clip has to do with that.
I feel like it's like maybe a box with like a bunch of people in it like having a party.
I feel like it's like when you take a box, and then you take a disco ball, and then you go to the record store and pick out random records, and then you get all your random friends from Twitter, and you have a party in the box, and then you guys spend the next two hours just partying and eating sandwiches together.
That sounds like a happy box.
Let's take a look.
It might just be that.
Okay.
I just wanna see what's inside it.
Oh, my G What is it? Does she like it, or does she not like it? Bitch, open it.
All that for a laptop.
Oh, my God.
She hasn't been on Facebook in weeks, okay? Yeah.
All right, that is what you get when you search "happy box.
" Ladies and gentlemen, we had an amazing show.
Thank you, Mac Miller.
All right, we will see you next time on Ridiculousness.
Ay, caliente! Oh! What? Oh, no!