South of Nowhere s03e02 Episode Script
Can't Buy Me Love
I've missed this.
This feels like everything is perfect again, doesn't it? No.
No? Wait, what is it? I was so in love with you, Ash.
- Was? - You broke my heart Ash.
When you and Aiden were together, - at the prom - No, no Nothing happened between me and Aiden.
I told you that.
Look, this doesn't even matter now.
I mean, when you were in Europe, you didn't even call me back.
- For weeks.
- I know.
It was like Like, out of sight, out of mind.
- No God, it's not even like it was - My brother died and you just - You just left.
- Ok.
I know I was stupid.
I told you that ok? I don't do death well, you know that.
I swear every night that I was away, it was great because you were in my dreams but every morning I woke up, it sucked because you wouldn't be there.
I know I sound cliché, but it's true.
I hate this.
I love you.
- Spencer, I love you.
- It's not enough.
What does that mean? Look, I just can't be with you and commit to you, - and then have you pull away again.
- I'm not going to.
- And I want you, and only you.
- You don't know what you want.
- Stop it.
- And I don't know if you'll ever know and it's too confusing and complicated - and it hurts way too much.
- Don't do this.
Look I'm sorry.
I really don't think you need to be studying for that.
I mean, it's the GED.
- You're smart, you'll pass.
- Well, you can never be too sure.
Well, I'll test you then.
- When was the war of 1812? - Shut up.
- It doesn't say that.
- Whatever.
You're being boring.
Hey you think you can you tell Ashley I was looking for her? Yes I can and I will.
Butthead.
- Well, thanks, Butthead.
- You're welcome.
What are you doing here? I was looking for you, I I called your cell, but it went straight to voicemail.
Yeah, I was with Spencer.
She broke up with me.
I'm sorry.
No, you're not.
Fine, I'm not.
The reason I Look, I should've died Ash.
- In that shooting, I should've died.
- Stop talking like that.
You know how tons tons of people, when bad stuff happens, they say it was meant to be? It's a bunch of crap.
Like who exactly meant it to be? But now, now I feel like I was meant to be here.
With you.
You have two seconds to move before I do something I haven't done in a really Hi, I'm looking for Sergeant McAndrews? Carlin.
I've been trying to reach you for the past three weeks.
- Have you? - The last voicemail I sent was on Saturday, at 2100 exactly.
The last e-mail I sent you was on Tuesday, at 1700 hours.
- The last letter I sent you - Ah see, that's why I'm here.
So you are prepared to start your basic training at Fort Jackson, one week from tomorrow.
- About that - Basic combat training class number 09-2007-02.
No see, listen.
I just got this really good job at a sporting goods store and I've been thinking a lot about it and I think I'm going to go that route.
You know, sales not war.
You enlisted in the United State Army.
You made a contract with your country.
A contract that cannot be broken.
Do you understand that? Is that a yes? - Yes but - I expect to see you at Los Angeles International Airport for your flight to South Carolina one week from tomorrow.
Yeah.
Yeah I'll be there.
- Can't believe you're dropping out.
- I'm not dropping out.
I'm taking the GED.
That'll technically make me a high school graduate.
I just feel like there's something bigger out there for me.
Yeah but I mean, think about all the stuff that school has to offer.
Like fall play? Guys and Dolls.
- You'd make a great Sergeant Sarah.
- No.
I'm done acting.
I finally just want to be myself.
Well, there's always set design.
What? Did he spend the night? Don't make me answer that.
Hi guys.
It didn't even take you one night.
- Spencer, it's not even - Look, what are you going to say Ash? That you love me? I mean, cause that's really clear right now, isn't it? So this guy stands up in my office, he starts screaming, top of his lungs: I'm not the problem.
I'm not the problem.
How dare you defend my wife when you're supposed to be helping me? - So what did you do? - I panicked.
And then I said: Your time's up sir.
Thank you very much.
There you go.
Buh-bye! You with us? Yeah, sorry I was just just thinking about something else.
Oh Glen, what did you do wrong? - What does that mean? - You've got that look on your face.
- You didn't wreck the car, did you? - No, I didn't wreck the car.
You didn't get fired from Sports Time already, did you? - What? No! - Oh my God, you're on drugs again.
- That's not even funny.
- He's right.
Really guys I'm fine.
Can we just eat? Hey, listen, about me and Aiden, today, I didn't even know what to do - when I showed up - Ash, it's okay.
I get it.
Aiden and I had a thing, but it's over.
And whatever whatever you and he had, it was there since before you and I even knew each other.
I know, it's just I feel like I'm spinning.
Like my entire world is crashing and falling apart, because I keep making these stupid mistakes.
Well maybe, you shouldn't have slept with Aiden.
I know.
But like, I trust him.
I feel safe with him, you know? And I, I do love him but - I - You're just not in love with him, like you are with Spencer.
She won't even talk to me, Kyla.
And it's like, I'll have one feeling, and then it goes away.
And then, I have a different one and a different one and, - nothing even makes sense anymore.
- It's alright.
Slow down ok? You don't have to figure it all out right now.
Ok? Excuse me.
I don't mean to ruin your sweet little sisterly moment, but I have some news for the both of you.
Oh my God, are you planning a trip over the Bermuda Triangle? You know what, you might wanna save that little joke for your sibling over here.
- What does that mean, mom? - Well, if Kyla were gone, you'd get the whole 25 million.
- Now you've got to share it with her.
- Wait, 25 million? - Wait, are you saying - After legal issues and age issues and God knows what other issues, the papers have been signed and your inheritance has finally come through.
- What? Wait.
- What? Congratulations rich girls.
- Yeah? - Go to your front door.
What? Why? Because there's a surprise there for you.
- Ash - Please? Ok look, I know about last night and then this morning.
Please, just go to your front door.
Please? What are you doing here? - Cabo? - Well Actually, I can actually afford the entire of Mexico if you want.
- What are you talking about? - The inheritance money came in.
And I thought what better way to spend it, than on a trip for us.
No pressure, no expectations, it's just you and I on the beach, drinking margaritas.
You were with Aiden last night.
- Like I said, no expectations.
- Then what's the point? Ok fine then, expectations.
Ok, expect me to grovel and to say how sorry I am and, how bad I felt last night.
And that you're right, you knew exactly what I was gonna do.
You know me Spence.
You know me even better than I know myself.
When I saw you two together, I really wanted to hate you.
But I can't hate you because I still love you.
- So does that mean we're going to Cabo? - No Ash.
Look, it just it means that you need to figure out your life and I need to figure out mine.
Without you.
- I don't want you out of my life.
- I don't wanna be out of your life.
I just I can't be in it the way that I was.
Ok - I'm never gonna stop trying.
- Ok.
Well, here's one thing you can do.
- Dude, I'm not killing myself.
- No man, I mean - shoot off your foot.
- There's not a chance.
I mean I guess maybe I could shoot off my pinky toe.
Nope, not gonna work.
You'll still have total foot control.
You're gotta do the whole thing in.
I could just barely handle being on crutches when I blew out my knee.
I can't shoot off my foot.
Ok.
You could always act like you're crazy.
What like, during the physical, gnawing on the stethoscope and being like: This reminds me of when I lived with the family of robots.
Yeah, something like that.
- Man, there's gotta be an easier way.
- Bro, you enlisted in the army.
Alright? You're stuck.
Unless - What? - Brain damage.
Very funny.
Nah, I wouldn't want to ruin my new bat on you anyway.
Oh I got it! - Is it gonna to hurt? - Only if you mind blue balls.
What's that supposed to mean? Make your mom proud.
Become a priest.
- That means no sex.
- Thus the blue balls.
How long do I have to be a priest to not go to war? I don't know man.
Do I look like a recruiter to you? - I'm not giving up sex.
- It's not like you're having any.
- There's still potential.
- Ok.
- I live on the potential.
- Ok.
- You know what I'm realizing? - What's that? I'm screwed.
Hey.
You never called me back last night.
Yeah, I went to bed early.
To what, till like 1 AM instead of 2? I just ran into Kyla and she she told me you got your inheritance.
Yeah, do a strip-tease and I'll put hundreds down your undies.
What are we Ash? I mean, you and me? And why are you throwing all your books away? - Cause I'm leaving.
- You're leaving? - Yeah, I'm getting my GED.
- Oh so you're just You're gonna follow Kyla now.
No, Kyla's going on some Ashram or Kibbutz.
I'm gonna do whatever I want.
It's not like I don't have the money to.
Don't you think that's being just a little rash? Rashley Ashley right? Right, right, right.
You know what? Stop being the sensitive girl that hides her feelings by being sarcastic.
I mean Where where's your head? It's right here Aiden, glaring up at you for giving me a guilt trip.
I have to get out of this place.
So that's it.
Goodbye high school.
Goodbye high school, hello world.
I'm gonna miss you.
- What? - When I leave.
And where is it that you're going? - Do you remember outpatient last year? - Yeah.
Well, the whole thing was, replace your passion for drugs with something else.
And now you can compassionately say: "Can I get you a size 8 in those cleats?" I signed up for the army, Spence.
What? Next week, it's boot camp and then Iraq.
What about Iraq? You signed up for the army.
It's not enough for me to lose one son? - I did this before Clay, so you know? - No! - I don't know.
I don't know, Glen.
- I cannot believe this.
- Why would you do that? - I was trying to do something good.
Ok, I was trying to serve my country.
You know, it's not just about you, - it's about me.
- Well, it's not just about you.
- Now it is about all of us.
- Could you guys stop, please.
- Yelling isn't gonna help.
- What are we supposed to do Spencer? - I just don't know how to react to this.
- Well, I know, ok? I'm sorry.
I messed up.
And I know you guys are scared.
- But so am I.
- When did you sign up? - Like, three months ago, why? - Come with me.
- Arthur, Arthur, what is it? - Hey, I got an idea.
So you really think we need all this stuff for two days.
Yes, ok? It's Cabo.
We need casual, semi-casual, care but pretend not to care, hot, slutty-hot, and barely dental floss.
- And all this new luggage? - Can you please stop being so annoying? I'm just saying that I want do something more fulfilling.
- Something more spiritual.
- Ok, Kyla, we're going to.
We're going be around a lot of new people in a completely different culture.
- Cabo's overrun by American tourists.
- Yes, but all the menus are in Spanish.
Are you sure you're not just running away? From what? You know from what.
From being heart-broken over Spencer.
So what if I am? Now get back in the limo so we can spend a grand or two on sushi.
Well you know, why not just go to Japan? Ok, next time we want sushi, we're so flying to Tokyo.
Carlin.
You're sure making up for lost time.
- Are you the recruiter who signed my son? - Sergeant McAndrews, At your service, Mr.
Carlin.
Sergeant, I think there's been a misunderstanding.
- Oh, what's that? - Well he couldn't possibly have enlisted.
Sir, I have a copy of the sign up form right over here.
Wait.
Wait.
I just I just, I couldn't stay in the closet anymore you know? I I know the thing about "don't ask, don't tell" - Carlin, I know you're not gay.
- Yes, I am.
I just saw you checking out Sergeant Lindsey over there.
- Total ruse.
- Look Glen can't go into the army.
Neither my wife nor I gave our consent and he signed up when he was 17.
I've got a copy of his ID on his sign up form.
- You're still using that fake ID? - Wait, you signed up with a fake ID? I was just so used to using it.
You know, to pick up more mature men at bars.
Do you have both licenses with you? The real one and the one you used during sign up.
Yeah.
- This is almost perfect.
- Thanks.
We'll be confiscating that from you.
You can have your real one.
Looks like you got what you wanted.
You won't be joining us in the army after all Glen.
- Mr.
Carlin.
- My apologies, Sergeant.
So I guess I dodged a bullet so to speak.
Is that what you think? Because if you ever do something like that again without telling us, boot camp is going to seem like summer camp compared to what I'm gonna put you through.
Got it? Yeah.
I got it.
It's not like I'm moving away.
I'm just moving away from King High.
I guess this is what people call the next chapter of their life.
Yeah.
Hey, do you remember those "Choose Your Own adventure" books? You know, if you don't like the way that one story was going, you could just go back and choose another story.
So let's back up and choose another story.
But life doesn't work that way, you know? I mean Everything moves forward, nothing moves backwards.
Yeah I guess.
Spencer, I miss you so much.
Ash.
I know, I know.
We're not together anymore.
No, but - You know, I still like talking to you.
- Yeah, me too.
Hey, I better get going.
Some of us still have that thing called school.
So I'm gonna crash.
Yeah I better get some sleep before I head off to Cabo.
Night Ash.
Good night Spence.
Transcipt: pseudohuman
This feels like everything is perfect again, doesn't it? No.
No? Wait, what is it? I was so in love with you, Ash.
- Was? - You broke my heart Ash.
When you and Aiden were together, - at the prom - No, no Nothing happened between me and Aiden.
I told you that.
Look, this doesn't even matter now.
I mean, when you were in Europe, you didn't even call me back.
- For weeks.
- I know.
It was like Like, out of sight, out of mind.
- No God, it's not even like it was - My brother died and you just - You just left.
- Ok.
I know I was stupid.
I told you that ok? I don't do death well, you know that.
I swear every night that I was away, it was great because you were in my dreams but every morning I woke up, it sucked because you wouldn't be there.
I know I sound cliché, but it's true.
I hate this.
I love you.
- Spencer, I love you.
- It's not enough.
What does that mean? Look, I just can't be with you and commit to you, - and then have you pull away again.
- I'm not going to.
- And I want you, and only you.
- You don't know what you want.
- Stop it.
- And I don't know if you'll ever know and it's too confusing and complicated - and it hurts way too much.
- Don't do this.
Look I'm sorry.
I really don't think you need to be studying for that.
I mean, it's the GED.
- You're smart, you'll pass.
- Well, you can never be too sure.
Well, I'll test you then.
- When was the war of 1812? - Shut up.
- It doesn't say that.
- Whatever.
You're being boring.
Hey you think you can you tell Ashley I was looking for her? Yes I can and I will.
Butthead.
- Well, thanks, Butthead.
- You're welcome.
What are you doing here? I was looking for you, I I called your cell, but it went straight to voicemail.
Yeah, I was with Spencer.
She broke up with me.
I'm sorry.
No, you're not.
Fine, I'm not.
The reason I Look, I should've died Ash.
- In that shooting, I should've died.
- Stop talking like that.
You know how tons tons of people, when bad stuff happens, they say it was meant to be? It's a bunch of crap.
Like who exactly meant it to be? But now, now I feel like I was meant to be here.
With you.
You have two seconds to move before I do something I haven't done in a really Hi, I'm looking for Sergeant McAndrews? Carlin.
I've been trying to reach you for the past three weeks.
- Have you? - The last voicemail I sent was on Saturday, at 2100 exactly.
The last e-mail I sent you was on Tuesday, at 1700 hours.
- The last letter I sent you - Ah see, that's why I'm here.
So you are prepared to start your basic training at Fort Jackson, one week from tomorrow.
- About that - Basic combat training class number 09-2007-02.
No see, listen.
I just got this really good job at a sporting goods store and I've been thinking a lot about it and I think I'm going to go that route.
You know, sales not war.
You enlisted in the United State Army.
You made a contract with your country.
A contract that cannot be broken.
Do you understand that? Is that a yes? - Yes but - I expect to see you at Los Angeles International Airport for your flight to South Carolina one week from tomorrow.
Yeah.
Yeah I'll be there.
- Can't believe you're dropping out.
- I'm not dropping out.
I'm taking the GED.
That'll technically make me a high school graduate.
I just feel like there's something bigger out there for me.
Yeah but I mean, think about all the stuff that school has to offer.
Like fall play? Guys and Dolls.
- You'd make a great Sergeant Sarah.
- No.
I'm done acting.
I finally just want to be myself.
Well, there's always set design.
What? Did he spend the night? Don't make me answer that.
Hi guys.
It didn't even take you one night.
- Spencer, it's not even - Look, what are you going to say Ash? That you love me? I mean, cause that's really clear right now, isn't it? So this guy stands up in my office, he starts screaming, top of his lungs: I'm not the problem.
I'm not the problem.
How dare you defend my wife when you're supposed to be helping me? - So what did you do? - I panicked.
And then I said: Your time's up sir.
Thank you very much.
There you go.
Buh-bye! You with us? Yeah, sorry I was just just thinking about something else.
Oh Glen, what did you do wrong? - What does that mean? - You've got that look on your face.
- You didn't wreck the car, did you? - No, I didn't wreck the car.
You didn't get fired from Sports Time already, did you? - What? No! - Oh my God, you're on drugs again.
- That's not even funny.
- He's right.
Really guys I'm fine.
Can we just eat? Hey, listen, about me and Aiden, today, I didn't even know what to do - when I showed up - Ash, it's okay.
I get it.
Aiden and I had a thing, but it's over.
And whatever whatever you and he had, it was there since before you and I even knew each other.
I know, it's just I feel like I'm spinning.
Like my entire world is crashing and falling apart, because I keep making these stupid mistakes.
Well maybe, you shouldn't have slept with Aiden.
I know.
But like, I trust him.
I feel safe with him, you know? And I, I do love him but - I - You're just not in love with him, like you are with Spencer.
She won't even talk to me, Kyla.
And it's like, I'll have one feeling, and then it goes away.
And then, I have a different one and a different one and, - nothing even makes sense anymore.
- It's alright.
Slow down ok? You don't have to figure it all out right now.
Ok? Excuse me.
I don't mean to ruin your sweet little sisterly moment, but I have some news for the both of you.
Oh my God, are you planning a trip over the Bermuda Triangle? You know what, you might wanna save that little joke for your sibling over here.
- What does that mean, mom? - Well, if Kyla were gone, you'd get the whole 25 million.
- Now you've got to share it with her.
- Wait, 25 million? - Wait, are you saying - After legal issues and age issues and God knows what other issues, the papers have been signed and your inheritance has finally come through.
- What? Wait.
- What? Congratulations rich girls.
- Yeah? - Go to your front door.
What? Why? Because there's a surprise there for you.
- Ash - Please? Ok look, I know about last night and then this morning.
Please, just go to your front door.
Please? What are you doing here? - Cabo? - Well Actually, I can actually afford the entire of Mexico if you want.
- What are you talking about? - The inheritance money came in.
And I thought what better way to spend it, than on a trip for us.
No pressure, no expectations, it's just you and I on the beach, drinking margaritas.
You were with Aiden last night.
- Like I said, no expectations.
- Then what's the point? Ok fine then, expectations.
Ok, expect me to grovel and to say how sorry I am and, how bad I felt last night.
And that you're right, you knew exactly what I was gonna do.
You know me Spence.
You know me even better than I know myself.
When I saw you two together, I really wanted to hate you.
But I can't hate you because I still love you.
- So does that mean we're going to Cabo? - No Ash.
Look, it just it means that you need to figure out your life and I need to figure out mine.
Without you.
- I don't want you out of my life.
- I don't wanna be out of your life.
I just I can't be in it the way that I was.
Ok - I'm never gonna stop trying.
- Ok.
Well, here's one thing you can do.
- Dude, I'm not killing myself.
- No man, I mean - shoot off your foot.
- There's not a chance.
I mean I guess maybe I could shoot off my pinky toe.
Nope, not gonna work.
You'll still have total foot control.
You're gotta do the whole thing in.
I could just barely handle being on crutches when I blew out my knee.
I can't shoot off my foot.
Ok.
You could always act like you're crazy.
What like, during the physical, gnawing on the stethoscope and being like: This reminds me of when I lived with the family of robots.
Yeah, something like that.
- Man, there's gotta be an easier way.
- Bro, you enlisted in the army.
Alright? You're stuck.
Unless - What? - Brain damage.
Very funny.
Nah, I wouldn't want to ruin my new bat on you anyway.
Oh I got it! - Is it gonna to hurt? - Only if you mind blue balls.
What's that supposed to mean? Make your mom proud.
Become a priest.
- That means no sex.
- Thus the blue balls.
How long do I have to be a priest to not go to war? I don't know man.
Do I look like a recruiter to you? - I'm not giving up sex.
- It's not like you're having any.
- There's still potential.
- Ok.
- I live on the potential.
- Ok.
- You know what I'm realizing? - What's that? I'm screwed.
Hey.
You never called me back last night.
Yeah, I went to bed early.
To what, till like 1 AM instead of 2? I just ran into Kyla and she she told me you got your inheritance.
Yeah, do a strip-tease and I'll put hundreds down your undies.
What are we Ash? I mean, you and me? And why are you throwing all your books away? - Cause I'm leaving.
- You're leaving? - Yeah, I'm getting my GED.
- Oh so you're just You're gonna follow Kyla now.
No, Kyla's going on some Ashram or Kibbutz.
I'm gonna do whatever I want.
It's not like I don't have the money to.
Don't you think that's being just a little rash? Rashley Ashley right? Right, right, right.
You know what? Stop being the sensitive girl that hides her feelings by being sarcastic.
I mean Where where's your head? It's right here Aiden, glaring up at you for giving me a guilt trip.
I have to get out of this place.
So that's it.
Goodbye high school.
Goodbye high school, hello world.
I'm gonna miss you.
- What? - When I leave.
And where is it that you're going? - Do you remember outpatient last year? - Yeah.
Well, the whole thing was, replace your passion for drugs with something else.
And now you can compassionately say: "Can I get you a size 8 in those cleats?" I signed up for the army, Spence.
What? Next week, it's boot camp and then Iraq.
What about Iraq? You signed up for the army.
It's not enough for me to lose one son? - I did this before Clay, so you know? - No! - I don't know.
I don't know, Glen.
- I cannot believe this.
- Why would you do that? - I was trying to do something good.
Ok, I was trying to serve my country.
You know, it's not just about you, - it's about me.
- Well, it's not just about you.
- Now it is about all of us.
- Could you guys stop, please.
- Yelling isn't gonna help.
- What are we supposed to do Spencer? - I just don't know how to react to this.
- Well, I know, ok? I'm sorry.
I messed up.
And I know you guys are scared.
- But so am I.
- When did you sign up? - Like, three months ago, why? - Come with me.
- Arthur, Arthur, what is it? - Hey, I got an idea.
So you really think we need all this stuff for two days.
Yes, ok? It's Cabo.
We need casual, semi-casual, care but pretend not to care, hot, slutty-hot, and barely dental floss.
- And all this new luggage? - Can you please stop being so annoying? I'm just saying that I want do something more fulfilling.
- Something more spiritual.
- Ok, Kyla, we're going to.
We're going be around a lot of new people in a completely different culture.
- Cabo's overrun by American tourists.
- Yes, but all the menus are in Spanish.
Are you sure you're not just running away? From what? You know from what.
From being heart-broken over Spencer.
So what if I am? Now get back in the limo so we can spend a grand or two on sushi.
Well you know, why not just go to Japan? Ok, next time we want sushi, we're so flying to Tokyo.
Carlin.
You're sure making up for lost time.
- Are you the recruiter who signed my son? - Sergeant McAndrews, At your service, Mr.
Carlin.
Sergeant, I think there's been a misunderstanding.
- Oh, what's that? - Well he couldn't possibly have enlisted.
Sir, I have a copy of the sign up form right over here.
Wait.
Wait.
I just I just, I couldn't stay in the closet anymore you know? I I know the thing about "don't ask, don't tell" - Carlin, I know you're not gay.
- Yes, I am.
I just saw you checking out Sergeant Lindsey over there.
- Total ruse.
- Look Glen can't go into the army.
Neither my wife nor I gave our consent and he signed up when he was 17.
I've got a copy of his ID on his sign up form.
- You're still using that fake ID? - Wait, you signed up with a fake ID? I was just so used to using it.
You know, to pick up more mature men at bars.
Do you have both licenses with you? The real one and the one you used during sign up.
Yeah.
- This is almost perfect.
- Thanks.
We'll be confiscating that from you.
You can have your real one.
Looks like you got what you wanted.
You won't be joining us in the army after all Glen.
- Mr.
Carlin.
- My apologies, Sergeant.
So I guess I dodged a bullet so to speak.
Is that what you think? Because if you ever do something like that again without telling us, boot camp is going to seem like summer camp compared to what I'm gonna put you through.
Got it? Yeah.
I got it.
It's not like I'm moving away.
I'm just moving away from King High.
I guess this is what people call the next chapter of their life.
Yeah.
Hey, do you remember those "Choose Your Own adventure" books? You know, if you don't like the way that one story was going, you could just go back and choose another story.
So let's back up and choose another story.
But life doesn't work that way, you know? I mean Everything moves forward, nothing moves backwards.
Yeah I guess.
Spencer, I miss you so much.
Ash.
I know, I know.
We're not together anymore.
No, but - You know, I still like talking to you.
- Yeah, me too.
Hey, I better get going.
Some of us still have that thing called school.
So I'm gonna crash.
Yeah I better get some sleep before I head off to Cabo.
Night Ash.
Good night Spence.
Transcipt: pseudohuman