Wonder Woman (1976) s03e02 Episode Script

Hot Wheels

It's here.
They're unloading the Rolls.
- Miss Prince? - Yes.
You're right on time.
One custom 1935 Rolls-Royce Laundalet with platinum hood ornament coming right up.
Thank you very much, sir.
Always a pleasure to accommodate the IADC.
All right, fellows, let's get the doors open.
So what do we got going on here? Some kind of a spy caper or something? That's a Rolls, all right.
But ain't it kind of small? Stop that car.
Raise this higher.
Move it to the left.
Wonder Woman, what is happening, sister? What's in the back? I don't know, ma'am, I guess it was a mix-up.
Someone must have goofed and sent two trucks to the same place.
I don't know nothing about a stolen car.
Did you get a good look at the other driver? No, ma'am he was so teed off about the mix-up he refused to get out of the cab.
At least, that's what it looked like.
Nobody told me that the IADC and two females were going to interfere.
- Interfere? - Would you settle for "meddle"? For your information, Inspector Bolt Wonder Woman and I were trying to retrieve- For your information, Agent Prince, I was there on a tip that could've busted the biggest car theft ring since original sin! I was going to tail that Rolls-Royce to its original source.
And, I suppose, you think your car thieves are more important than national security.
- My car thieves? - All right.
Enough squabbling, for crying out loud.
You want the man behind the car theft ring, right? Right.
Diana, you and I want that hood ornament off the antique Rolls.
Now it's been decided and agreed upon that the two of you will be working together.
Okay.
Maybe I was off base.
I take it all back.
Except, the female part.
You are most definitely female.
Since birth.
Good, now that we have our genders straight what can you tell us about this car theft organization? - Hello.
- Sorry.
Well, I've been after these guys for quite some time now.
And I've yet to get a specific line on their operations.
So I know they got to have a headquarters somewhere, right? Some kind of drop for all these hot cars.
Someplace where they can remove the serial numbers, change the paint jobs.
- You have no idea where this drop is? - No.
They always manage to just slip away from me.
Like today.
But this time I know the buyer.
An ophthalmologist, Dr.
Samson.
They concentrate primarily on classic cars? Classics, antiques, refurbished old sports jobs.
Do you know there is a billion-dollar business just on stolen parts alone? Samson would pay over a $100,000 for that Rolls.
And even more if they could get him a Duesenberg instead.
And the man behind this ring? Another big question mark.
Unless you subscribe to the theory that all crimes fit the personality of the perpetrator.
In which case, our man number one, is a gambler, a businessman.
Efficient, well organized.
And someone in touch with big money.
Sam, what are you doing to me? Sell short.
Yes, short! Yeah? Hold on.
And buy the June bellies 10 minutes before the bell.
Go ahead, I'm listening.
For 40 acres? All right.
Brazil? Arbitrate and call back.
Wondering, maybe we can get a hold of a Duesenberg? We can give it a try.
Sounds like you have a plan, Inspector.
Best plan since Hannibal crossed the Alps.
- Brilliant? - But risky.
Now just one second.
There you go, Doc.
Over this way.
This is the Man.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Dr.
Samson, been one of those days.
I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, Mr As intended, sir, my identity remains a mystery to my clients and all but my closest associates.
As intended.
You are prepared to fill my order? The 1935 Laundalet? For $100,000 in Swiss francs, drawable on a Swiss account, yes.
Make it $75,000.
Split the difference, and allow me to keep this.
- A sentimental addition to my collection.
- Done.
Why quibble? There must be hundreds of ladies like her.
It looks like this one but the lady we're after is very much one-of-a-kind.
And more important to Uncle Sam than the cars are to the police.
Please remember that, Inspector, in case your plan works.
You can have your lady.
All I want is the Man.
- You ready, partner? - Yes.
Just a minute.
Neither of you are quite ready yet.
Diana, I have a lovely broach for you.
It's a tiny microphone, pick up every word you say.
- I guess I'll have to watch my language.
- I certainly hope so.
This is for you, Inspector.
- A ballpoint tape recorder.
- Clever.
- And that? - And don't forget your camera.
And remember, Inspector, you are Arnie Lippincott.
Small time thief with big ideas.
Excellent! How are your eyes? Funny you should mention it, they've been bothering me lately.
"L-P-E-D.
" Now what do you see? I see 1935 Rolls-Royce Laundalet.
- I beg your pardon.
- No, wait it's an SJ-type Duesenberg.
A Duesenberg that a certain ophthalmologist has been looking for.
I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
I know that you've been putting out feelers for a 1934 SJ-type Doozie.
With dual windshields, front and rear dual side mounts, body by Rollston powered by the original supercharged straight eight.
You can get one for me? You never really wanted that Rolls-Royce, did you? Not if I can get a 34 SJ-type Doozie.
Yes? Samson didn't show to pick up the Rolls.
Could be cold feet.
- Could be competition.
- Yes, could be.
Do you know what to do in that eventuality? Yeah, I know what to do.
Sure do.
Hi.
- Dr.
Samson, Arnie Lippincott.
- Shall we? Let me drive her.
No driving, not until the trade is made.
- Tomorrow, I'll have it for you tomorrow.
- Then it's settled? We trade straight across, this Doozie for the Rolls.
Any day.
Then that lady will be happy to take you for a drive.
There isn't going to be any trade.
Brilliant.
But risky.
You had an appointment with a Rolls remember, Doctor? But I gave him better merchandise at a better price.
Well, the trade's off.
And I'm taking the Doozie to boot.
- Just for wasting my time.
- Oh, no.
Go for them, baby! - Its okay.
You're a thinker, not a fighter.
- A thinker? If brains were rain he couldn't make a drop.
Let's go, wise guy, you're not out of the woods yet.
Steve, I take it you heard what just went on back there? We didn't get the Rolls, but they did take Bolt with them, just like you figured.
So I'm going to take Dr.
Samson down to the police station for a little chat with our friend, Lt.
Cline.
Then I'll be in.
Sounds like you're putting on weight, Alfie.
You know, Lippincott you'd look like what's on my plate if I had my way.
Don't tell me you've gone and lost your way now.
First a Duesenberg, then a fight, and now your way.
You better watch out, Alfie, next thing you know, it'll be your job.
You know that sound? Yeah, I know that sound.
If you don't want to hear the one that follows lay off of me.
You bet.
Your credentials have been checked, Mr.
Lippincott.
- Passed inspection.
- Naturally.
So what do you want from me now? Not much, actually.
Simply instruct your female associate to deliver that Duesenberg into my hands.
Your hands? My foot, that's my Duesenberg.
Keep your greasy meat hooks off it, whatever your name is.
My impetuous friend - that Duesenberg is worth $200,000.
- I know.
Don't think for a moment you won't die if I don't get it.
You can't mess with Arnie Lippincott my boys will be all over you like green on grass.
How colorful.
But we both know, your midnight auto supply is a one-man operation.
No, with his chick it makes two.
And she's not going to miss you.
Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to make you a deal.
You are going to make me a deal? Right Excuse me, this happens all the time.
I got it.
Is this, by any chance, part of your deal? A Packard insignia.
So what? So, I just happen to have a line on a 1937 Packard, - And? - And it's yours.
If you two guys will let me out of here alive and in one piece.
Not particularly interested, Mr.
Lippincott.
But, by some strange some coincidence I do have a buyer for a 1929 Mercedes Phaeton.
Totally restored and original.
Well, if anybody in this world can find one - it's Arnie Lippincott.
- He's full of it.
Why don't you let me waste him? By this weekend, Arnie Lippincott.
For 20%, whatever your name is.
A capitalist after my own heart.
- Twenty percent it is.
- Done.
And my insignia? - Of course.
- Thank you.
I wouldn't give him 20% of nothing.
I'd make him 100% dead.
If he can do as he says, I can use him in the organization, Alfie.
After all, you haven't come across with much recently.
However, until he passes this little test he's still on the expendable list.
You better get 100% on this test, kid.
Alfie, don't you think it's about time we took this blindfold off? It might look a little less conspicuous.
- Yeah, go ahead, take it off.
- All right.
- You look better with it on.
- You're cute.
What's the matter? I forgot to tell you, this car is hot.
Terrific.
Don't worry, nobody catches Alfie.
- Put up the windows.
- Are you out of your mind? Put them up.
- Get out! - Get lost! Either get wet or get a bullet through that fancy shirt of yours.
Since you put it that way.
- Come on.
- What about the car? - Let them have it! - You are out of your mind! Let them have it.
- It's the cops.
- Just act natural.
Easy for you to say.
You're used to being all wet.
I'm going home, get some dry clothes.
Hello.
- What hit you, a tidal wave? - Would you believe a car wash? It looks like you went through it without a car.
- I did.
- Why? - Because it was hot.
- The car wash? - No, the car.
- Right.
- Did you get photographs? - Yes, got some pictures.
Just open your palm.
- And do we have a tape recording? - That's in this pocket.
Lift that cylinder off.
There you are.
Did you by chance get any fingerprints? Even got those.
They may be a bit damp but with the waterproof protective coating there shouldn't be too many smudges.
Great, pretty soon we will know who your man is.
And with any good fortune we will also have your lady for you.
Who could ask for more? - Just one thing.
- What? The car that is described on that tape recording.
Well, we'll work on it.
It may be a good idea if you went down by yourself first.
I got a shadow lurking around here somewhere it wouldn't be a good idea for him to see us together.
Your shadow is here, cop.
Alfie's going to want to talk to you real bad.
Let's go.
Slow.
Help! Where you going? Somebody, help! "Interfering females"? Look after him, will you? You're the wizard who gives flying lessons without a plane? Under the spell of my lasso you have to tell the truth.
- Who are you? - Who is your boss? - Who are you working for? - Alfie's my boss.
He owns the car wash.
What does this Alfie do with stolen cars? I don't know nothing about stolen cars.
I'm just a cashier.
When I release you, you will forget everything that's happened.
You blew it.
I couldn't help it! He gave me the slip.
I'm just a cashier, man.
Yeah.
Where have you been all this time? - I don't know.
- Never mind, his car is here.
He'll be back.
Slim, you got that thing ready for him? Yeah, it's going to be ready.
I don't think Lippincott is going to cut into my territory anymore.
But, by some strange coincidence I do have a buyer for a 1929 Mercedes Phaeton.
Totally restored and original.
The I.
R.
A.
C computer has analyzed the fingerprints.
- Have you got an ID yet, Ira? - Patience, Steve Trevor.
"Patience, Steve Trevor.
" How is it coming? When do you want it to go off? - When Lippincott's in the car.
- I know that, Alfie.
This is a heat-activating timer.
It's used by all the big-time hit men.
Say the temperature in the engine runs at a 180 degrees for 10 minutes, then blooey.
Ten minutes sounds good, as long as it goes blooey.
Don't worry about blooey.
Suspect is Fiskle, Otis B.
Businessman, investor.
Speculator, swindler.
He has amassed two separate fortunes With illegal schemes and subsequently lost them in legitimate enterprises.
Sounds like he's working on his third fortune in stolen cars.
Where can we find him? Also convicted of swindling pension money from retired citizens in nursing homes.
Real nice guy, but where is he? His record gets increasingly despicable.
Ira, why do I get the impression you're stalling? - Who, me? - Yes, you.
Now where is Otis Fiskle? He always hides his operations in unexpected places.
If you don't know where he is, why don't you just admit it? The I.
R.
A.
C computer is unaccustomed to admitting failure.
Well, you still have a chance to redeem yourself.
Have you located the 1929 Phaeton described on the tape? Affirmative.
There.
You see? You're still good for something.
All right, let me have it.
The sooner Inspector Bolt gets that car from Fiskle the sooner he can get us to that hood ornament.
Just admiring your wheels.
What are you doing, Alfie, looking for a new job? By the way what happened to that shadow of yours? You lose him, too? You're real cute, Lippincott.
Where's the M' Sedan you promised me? - You mean you got it? - Of course.
- Well, where is it? - I'm going to tell you? You think you're going to swipe that car to get in good with the Man? Just doing what the Man tells me.
No matter, the car is mine.
Says who? Look over there, turkey.
Says him.
Now tell me all about my new car.
- You got the keys.
- Yes.
What a way to spend a Sunday morning.
Mr.
Chatsworth wasn't keen on the idea of letting us pretend to steal his car.
So, if anything happens to it he'll have my head, neck, arms, and possibly my firstborn child.
Those are going to make this the easiest car theft in history.
What did Inspector Bolt have to say? I couldn't get a hold of him.
I thought he would be here.
What do you mean "Uh-oh"? He may be taking matters into his own hands.
You mean he's hotwiring Mr.
Chatsworth's car? He said he'd do it, if we didn't get the keys to him by the time he needed them.
I better get to that antique car with these before he does.
Or else Mr.
Chatsworth is going to be very unhappy.
To say nothing of me.
I've got the best idea since women's suffrage.
Why not use the keys? Surprise.
You expecting someone else? That's a good girl.
What happened to Lippincott? He got all tied up.
Why are you tying me up? Because I don't want him to get lonely.
- Where are you taking me? - Out to lunch.
So get in.
Lou, get down here, I may need your help.
Diana's in trouble.
We've stopped somewhere, I can't tell where.
We're in a car wash but we seemed to be going down in an elevator.
Get a hold of Inspector Bolt's Detail Command.
There's got to be a way to reach him.
Boss? Alfie.
I got the car you wanted.
About this guy Lippincott, he's useless.
Had to do it myself.
Okay.
Trevor calling Lippincott.
Trevor calling Arnie Lippincott.
I'm getting numb, Shadow, why don't you untie me? Not until Alfie gets back with the special Phaeton.
Then king me.
Shut up.
Arnie Lippincott, where are you? Do you read me? - What's that? - Come in, Arnie.
Urgent message for Arnie Lippincott.
Lippincott, come in, please.
Over.
Shadow.
I guess it looks like you better do exactly what I tell you to.
You've got enough classics here to start your own auto show.
That's a familiar looking Rolls.
You ought to be a used-car salesman.
Cute.
What happened to the hood ornament? Boy, you're a nosey broad.
But if you must know, the boss took it for a souvenir.
- Terrific.
- How nice.
Trevor? This is Lippincott calling, come in.
- Lippincott? - Yes, Colonel, I'm still here.
That last idea of yours, how good was it? Best idea since Hannibal crossed the Alps.
- Brilliant? - But risky.
It is you! Listen.
They've got Diana.
- Where? - I don't know.
She says she's somewhere in a garage full of classic cars.
Under a car wash.
You have any idea where that might be? No, I don't.
But, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, it's a long shot but I'd like to try Alfie's car wash, anyway.
I suggest you get a few men down to the garage and body shop on Grafton Avenue.
- Grafton.
I'll be there.
- I'll check with you later.
Out.
Don't go away, Shadow.
Inspector? Bolt? Yes, Colonel, I'm still here.
Diana indicated she's been transferred to a green four-door Sedan? A green machine, got it.
Matter of fact, there's one coming in right now.
I'll keep an eye on him and move when they do.
Let's hit the road.
We'll monitor on the way.
Help! Help, somebody.
Nobody answers at the garage.
I got a bad feeling about that guy Lippincott.
Yeah.
Like cop fever.
I wonder who he really is.
Doesn't matter, he ain't going to cause us any trouble.
Yeah, why? Because if he's running in that car of his.
Blooey.
Remember? You're strange.
Do you hear that, lady? Your boyfriend's going blooey.
"Blooey"? A bomb.
Inspector Bolt, this is Trevor.
There may be a bomb in your car.
Repeat, a bomb! Get out immediately.
Over.
Bolt, bail out now.
Sorry, Colonel, I haven't got a parachute.
That's an order! Not till I find out where they're taking her.
Out.
- Fiskle? - That's correct.
I found the hideout.
It's a farm on Oak Creek about four miles east of County Line Road.
Bolt, are you out of that car yet? I'm getting out right now.
I'm going to follow them on foot.
Out.
Blooey! Bring her over here.
Quickly.
Take the top off this thing.
Maybe you got rid of my partner but that won't stop the others.
Will you take it easy? Hold it! That's about enough horsing around.
Lou? Here's another one to add to your collection, Colonel.
Meet the Man.
Nice work, Bolt.
All right, Fiskle, where is Diana Prince? She's right here.
Alive and well.
Which is more than I can say for some people.
Find another car wash, Inspector Bolt? - Won't have to take a bath for a month.
- But you got your man.
Yes.
I did that.
Now maybe we can find your lady.
There's a button on the bottom edge of that picture frame.
- There's your lady.
- Yep.
- I'll take it.
- Okay.
The E-COM-PHAZE missile plans.
Touted by military intelligence as being the most deadly system yet conceived.
Now we can go forward with a defense system to neutralize it.
Yeah.
Thanks to you two.
That's us.
The best team since Mickey and Minnie.
- That good? - The best.
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