Andi Mack (2017) s03e03 Episode Script

1 BUFFY: Previously on Andi Mack BOTH: Will you marry me? Yes! Bex and Bowie are engaged! When's the big day? We could just get married at City Hall.
CELIA: That's not how it works.
I get to plan the wedding, but I convince you it was your idea.
Walker? - Hey, Andi.
- Oh, I don't want to be rude, but right now really isn't a good time.
Relax! - He's here to see me.
- Oh! So, I guess there's some stuff you haven't told me.
Not really.
Are you mad? ANDI: I'm really not.
You're happy, and I'm happy for you.
- Andi.
- I'm gonna go now.
You know, Shakespeare took less time to invent words than you take to play them.
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking! (EXHALES SHARPLY) Oh.
Oh! D-I-L E-M-N-A.
"Dilemma.
" 52 points, baby! Read it and weep.
Are you serious? Oh, I'm dead serious.
- Why? - An "N"? You spell "dilemma" with an "N"? Everyone spells "dilemma" with an "N.
" The "N" is silent.
It's also not there.
(SCOFFS) You spell it D-I-L-E-M-M-A.
That can't be right.
Have you really been spelling it wrong your whole life? How does that even happen? Okay, I'm getting a dictionary.
(LAUGHING) Are you mentally going over every school essay you've ever written? Every e-mail? Wondering how many times you misspelled a word that is literally spelled like it sounds.
Ah! Here it is.
"Dilemma.
D-I" Words are stupid.
(GIGGLES) I told you! There's no "N.
" Why would there be an "N"? The "N" is completely "super-fluous.
" Are you trying to say superfluous? Let's watch TV.
- Yeah, good idea.
- Okay! I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow - Tomorrow starts today - Hey There ain't a map to follow - But I'm with you all the way - Hey All the way What are we doing this weekend? My mom's got a new 1,000-piece puzzle of a cloudless sky she's been dying to bust open.
So, yes, please.
What are we doing this weekend? Ooh, guys! The Color Factory is in town! No idea.
Sometimes she talks to us like we're artsy too.
It's this pop-up event.
According to this, it's a 12,000-square-foot multi-hued immersive experience.
Lot of square footage.
Sounds fun.
So, it's one of those places (MOCKINGLY) that's just for posting pictures on social media (NORMAL) to make people feel left out.
Basically.
I'm in! Me, too.
Color me intrigued.
You know who would also enjoy this? Walker! (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) - I should probably - Totally.
We'll talk about it later.
Yeah, let's do that! Oh, all right.
(CHUCKLES) - Uh, I'll go that way.
- Yeah, okay.
Hey! Whatcha doing for lunch? Wanna go shopping? With you? Yes, Bex, I engage in human activities.
(ROBOTIC VOICE) Before I need to recharge, I have a battery life of six hours.
What are we shopping for? Doesn't matter.
Shoes, new wallet maybe register you for some flatware? Ah! There it is! The truth! We have to talk about this wedding sooner or later.
Mom I'm not registering.
Is that registering? Do you even know what registering is? You, literally, make a list of things you want and people buy them for you.
It just seems so greedy.
I don't want people knowing what I want.
If you don't do this, you're gonna end up with six toasters, and a singing fish for the wall.
Ooh! Can I register for just that? (SCOFFS) What about Bowie? Does he have any thoughts about this, or does he just go along with whatever you want? (STAMMERS) Bowie and I haven't talked about the wedding either.
What? We have more important things to discuss! - Such as? - I don't know! Such as Since when did people agree that sliced bread is the great thing against which all other great things must be measured.
Why do I even try? Do you still wanna go shopping? No! Of course not.
(STRUMMING) (APPLAUSE) Thank you! You didn't do that pinky finger drill I gave you, did you? You didn't like it? Uh, it it was great.
Just could've been better.
- This guy's getting the day off, huh? - (CHUCKLING) Something I can help you with? He's turning nine.
I'm getting him his first guitar.
Awesome! What's your name? BOTH: Shaun! Sorry.
You tell him.
Shaun.
- I'm Bowie.
- Victor.
The dad.
- Hey.
- (VICTOR CHUCKLES) So, I gather you're a guitar teacher? - Not really.
- Yes, he is.
I'm not a guitar teacher.
I'm just I'm his guitar teacher.
But Bowie, you should be a guitar teacher.
He's amazing.
By my second lesson, he had me writing a song, and my third was performing on this stage at open mic.
Can you really do that? Well I mean, I I did it.
- So - And he's an actual rock star with The Renaissance Boys.
He just got back from his world tour.
It wasn't a world tour! It was a European tour.
And parts of Asia.
And, uh, Australia.
It was only three continents.
Listen Shaun's got talent, like, a gift.
He needs the right teacher, and it sounds like that's you.
Hmm! - What do you say, Shaun? - Yes! Yeah! Then, I guess this is happening.
Okay, guess who's failing P.
E.
? No, wait! Don't guess! I, Cyrus Goodman, am failing P.
E.
I'm just gonna own my truth and sit in it for a second.
Is this supposed to make me feel good? 'Cause it's not.
So, what are you gonna do? (SIGHS) The only thing I can do.
Beg Mr.
Bag for forgiveness, and pray for an ingrown toenail.
(GIGGLES) What are you gonna do? About what? You know what.
Buffy? She's gonna be here any minute, and she's gonna want to talk about Walker, and The Color Factory.
"Walker and the Color Factory.
" The world's most awkward musical.
(CHUCKLES) But don't you think she could kind of tell that I didn't want him to come? You've told her you were fine with him.
How is she supposed to know? Through my silence! Silence speaks volumes.
You know what else speaks volumes? Actually speaking.
Ugh, I'm just not gonna bring it up.
And I hope she doesn't either.
(DOOR BELL JINGLING) Hey! Hey! So, about Walker - Look, tell me honestly - I need to be honest (BOTH CHUCKLE) Okay, you were right.
I do feel weird around Walker.
(CHUCKLES) I knew it! You don't really want him to come to The Color Factory with us, do you? I'm sorry.
I know it's stupid! It's not stupid.
I'm glad you told me.
Really? Really.
I won't invite him.
Thank you! But I also don't want to be that friend that tells you what to do.
I know! It's my decision! So, we're good? We're good.
- (CHUCKLES) - CYRUS: Good! Look, I don't really have a segue, but I did want to show you guys this chip that I found that looks just like Obama (CYRUS GROANS) Never mind.
(CHUCKLING) BEX: Oh, hi, Mom.
I need to talk to you.
Bex! This is a surprise! Oh, really? So is this! Care to explain why I just got a "Save The Date" to my own wedding? (TSKS) Oh, that! Lots of brides and grooms send them out.
KEY WORD: "brides and grooms.
" The bride and groom send them out after the bride and groom pick a date.
That way, the bride feels less like smashing the mother-of-the-bride's living room knick-knacks.
(SIGHS) Look.
- I didn't choose the date! - (SCOFFS) The I Ching did.
I consulted it, and that was the most auspicious day available.
Mom, it's not just that you picked a date without me.
I have said over and over that I don't want a formal, fussy wedding.
And this this This is proof that you're still not listening.
But you are getting married, and I refuse to let you turn this important milestone in your life into a casual after-thought.
One where everyone wears shorts and brings children.
Okay? You know what? If that's the case, then I can RSVP to this wedding right now, and it's gonna be a hard "no.
" Don't be ridiculous.
You don't RSVP to a "Save the Date.
" (WHISTLE BLOWS) CYRUS: Hey, Mr.
Bag? Hey there, Cyrus.
Great hustle out there today.
Can we be real a second? I think we both know I have very bad hustle.
Well And I think we both know I am never going to improve on my 17-minute mile.
Hey, as your P.
E.
teacher, I'm telling you.
You could do anything you set your mind to.
I believe in you! And as a guy who's being real (CHUCKLES) I'd say, "Sure.
We may be looking at peak performance from you.
" It's just that I'm failing, and I have a GPA to think about.
Is it really fair that I don't get into college just because I can only do the first half of a push-up? The first half of a push-up's just laying down on the floor.
Exactly! Well, taking a P.
E.
class is not the only way to get P.
E.
credit.
There is another option.
Whatever it is, I have to be better at it than P.
E.
Right? (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) DANCE TEACHER: Strong arms! Five, six, seven, and one! Good! Use your energy! Find it! Open it! Good! Hit it! Big shoulder! Accentuate those shoulders.
Big hip! Good! One, two, three, four! Good! Good! Use those shoulders.
One, three, a-five, six, seven! Energy! There it is! Okay, good! (CONTINUES, INDISTINCT) Lengthen those arms! Strong legs, good! Use your energy! Good strong arms! Here we go, Cyrus.
Try to catch up.
Good.
You got it! Good, you guys! Find that ending! Roll into the floor! (CONTINUES, INDISTINCT) Here we go! Big hit! - (MUSIC ENDS) - Good! - Good, you guys.
- (CLAPPING HANDS) Go take a break.
(COUGHING) I made a huge mistake.
(HUFFS) (STRUMMING SAME NOTE) What are you doing? That's my favorite note.
(STRUMMING RESUMES) Do you know what note that is? Yeah, it's this one.
- (STRUMMING) - (SINGING ALONG TO NOTE, POORLY) (DISCORDANT CHORD) Nice.
Let's try a "C.
" (PLAYS CHORD) (DISCORDANT CHORD) - Did I do it? - Not quite.
(DISCORDANT CHORD) - See - Wait.
- You're not - Wait.
(DISCORDANT CHORD) - Look - Hold on.
- Can I - Wait.
(STRUMMING, OUT OF TUNE) Well, that's it for today.
That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
Uh-huh.
So, next lesson, I learn how to write a song? Well, I think 'Cause I already know how I want it to start.
(STRUMMING ONE NOTE REPEATEDLY) (SINGING NOTE) (CONTINUES SINGING, STRUMMING) - I'm going! - BEX: Have fun! - Walker.
- Hey, Andi.
What are you doing here? We need to talk.
Can I just say these surprise drop-ins of yours? Not really a fan.
Guess I just believed you when you said you hoped we could be friends.
Buffy says you feel weird around me? She told you that? She had to explain why I couldn't come to the Color Factory with her today.
And now you're here to make me feel bad about that.
Andi, I'm here because I don't want to come between the two of you.
Is there anything we can do to fix this? I don't know.
But it doesn't help knowing you two are talking about me.
You two are talking about me.
And now here we are talking about her.
Somebody please stop this ride.
You should go to The Color Factory.
Are you sure? I'm sure.
It's a Color Factory.
You're a Color Factory.
Of course you should go.
We could go together.
Did you not get enough awkwardness just now? (CHUCKLES) Good point.
I guess I'll see you there.
Thanks for being so cool.
Anytime.
Almost anytime.
Sporadically.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) - Okay.
- Okay! (SIGHS) We got, we got we We got the best feeling Why are you walking like that? - Dance class.
- Is it hard? It's not so bad.
It's torture! (BOTH LAUGH) Then maybe you should just go back to P.
E.
I can't.
Not till next semester.
I'm a dancer now.
There's no turning back.
But there is turning around, - and around and around! - (CHUCKLES) - Hey, guys! - Hey.
What are you doing here? Can I talk to you? I said you couldn't come.
Well, I know.
Andi said I could come! What? We talked, and we worked everything out.
When? Where? I think you're leaving out a lot of important details.
I'm gonna let her tell you.
She'll be here any second.
I'm telling you, we worked it out.
In the meantime (CHUCKLES) look at this place! This is what you call "in living color.
" (BOTH LAUGH) Come on! Hey, can you snap a pic of us? Yeah! Okay, smile! We're havin' the time of our lives We're havin' the time of our lives Flying like rockets, no landing in sight We're having the time of our la-la-lives We're having the time of our lives We're having the time of our lives Rolling it once and rolling it twice We're having the time of our la-la-la We're having the time of our lives We're havin' the time of our lives Havin' the time of my life I think it's kinda nice that your mom wants to make a fuss over us.
Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until someone's in a gold tux getting butterflies released behind him.
A gold tux! We should plan the date of our own wedding.
Yeah, we should.
What date do you wanna get married? I dunno.
What date do you wanna get married? I dunno.
(STAMMERS) How about this one? - Hmm? - (SCOFFS) I can't believe it! You are actually taking her side? I'm just saying that neither one of us feels strongly about it, and Celia, obviously, feels very strongly about it.
So, why not pick our battles? And just let her win? You and Celia worked very hard to fix your relationship.
It would be a shame to throw it all away on a postcard.
Then nobody wins.
And at the end of the day I just wanna be married to you.
It doesn't matter which day.
Must you always be so reasonable all the time? - Yeah.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY) Still can't go in there? Mmm.
Last contact was about an hour ago.
I offered her string cheese, and she didn't crack the door.
That's troubling.
Hmm? - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - BOWIE: Andi? - What? - Coming in! Yeah! Are you okay? Yeah, you seem a little Well.
(CHUCKLES) Not in the mood for clothing puns.
Right.
Not okay.
What happened? Oh, that looks fun.
(SCOFFS) I know! They are having a blast without me.
- Why aren't you there? - Because! I can't be with Buffy when she's with Walker, and she'd rather be with Walker than with me.
I can't believe she'd say that! She didn't, but I know it's true.
How do you know it's true? Exhibit A.
Buffy told Walker that I didn't want him to hang out with us.
She's sharing my secrets with him! Well, did you ask her to keep it a secret? I shouldn't have to.
And then there's this.
"Something came up.
" What came up? Exhibit B.
- I - You lost us.
She didn't ask what came up.
She doesn't care what came up! All I get is Exhibit C.
Frowny-face me-moji.
I think you may be reading too much into this.
Oh, really? Am I? Well then, I offer up Exhibits D through N, sequential, and in full color.
(SCOFFS) Andiman.
Buffy is your best friend.
- Maybe you could just talk to her.
- I did.
I told her exactly how I felt.
And she said she totally understood.
(SCOFFS) And then the next thing I know, I'm getting punched in the eyeballs.
- Yikes! - Stop.
But that's what it feels like.
Hey, I know.
How about the three of us go to The Color Factory tomorrow.
- (GASPS) Yeah! - Pass.
I'm not going anywhere near there.
It sounds like fun.
Come on! Buffy said it's one of those places that you go just to take pictures to post on social media and make other people feel left out.
Turns out she was right.
BUFFY: Next on Andi Mack - Nervous? - Why would I be nervous? Because you're about to start a girls basketball team.
Only the entire history of this school and your future will depend on it.
BUFFY: This is a nightmare.
They're terrible.
Can you even believe the no-break-up/break-up? It works! I mean, look at us hanging out with no drama.
I'm putting together an open mic tomorrow night, and you are the only one on the list, so you kinda have to do it.
I only have one song.
BOWIE: Then I guess you're gonna have to write another one.
This song's about me.