Batman s03e03 Episode Script

Bring it out.
Take it easy.
Well, well, well.
Look who's here.
Up to your old tricks already, huh, Nygma? - Whatever are you talking about? - Last time you delivered one of these it almost killed Gordon.
- What's your point? What's in the box? None of your business.
- I'm making it my business.
- Stop! What are you doing here? Don't worry, sir, we've got him.
His name is Edward Nygma, otherwise known as the Riddler.
I know who he is, you young fool.
It's all right, C.
B.
These are two old friends of mine.
Before you louts sink your fists into me I'd like you to meet my new partner, Charles Baxter president of the multimillion-dollar Wacko Toy Corporation and the man who has licensed my Riddler persona and my exclusive puzzle technology for his new line of toys.
We're going to make a killing.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Now, now, I know what you're thinking.
But those silly riddle crimes are a thing of the past.
Ancient history that's gone now.
I'm a new man.
But you probably won't figure that out until it's too late.
Do you know who you're dealing with, Baxter? Yes, a man who's going to make my company millions.
Everyone's heard of the Riddler.
You can't buy that kind of market recognition.
Leave him alone, or I'll swear out a complaint against you for harassment.
Here's a little something for the kid.
Still no verdict in the trial of the Penguin though apprehended last month by Batman the jury remains unconvinced of the felon's guilt despite overwhelming As far as I can tell, it looks like a normal toy.
No hidden gimmicks.
You wanna look at it? Guess not.
Finally in the news, there was a burglary last night in the Market Lane District.
Thieves made off with rare antiquities and artifacts from the Newman Import & Export Company.
Wait.
What's that? A Ming vase from the third century, an 800-year-old tapestry.
I can't replace these.
Those were things of the past, Batman.
Ancient history that's gone now.
I'm a new man.
But you probably won't figure that out until it's too late.
- He did it.
- Who? The Riddler.
Remember what he said? "Things of the past.
" "Ancient history that's gone now.
" Look.
Gee, I don't know.
His riddles aren't usually that subtle.
He's got a multimillion-dollar deal with that toy company.
Why would he throw it away over some riddle crime? Because that's the way his warped mind works.
He's obsessed.
Hey, look.
Greetings, little riddle-tykes! It's time for riddle number 3- 1- 7-5-3-7-0- 1.
Where in the world can you have the most fun? In any store that sells Wacko Toys, of course.
That's because Wacko makes the entire line of Riddler games and puzzles like the Riddler's Riddle-mid.
Hours of fun for only $ 19.
95.
So grab your parents, or just their wallets and run on down to your nearest toy store.
Tell them the Riddler sent you.
This riddle number.
I wonder why he used that.
And why did he put a map up there? It's got eight digits.
So does a map coordinate.
3-1-7-5 3- 7-0-1.
It's the downtown Financial District.
What's that building right there in the center? The First National Bank.
It's after 10.
He should have been here by now.
Maybe we're reading into this thing.
Maybe he wasn't sending a riddle at all.
He flipped it over.
- What? - The number.
He flipped it upside down when he turned the chalkboard over.
- 10 Leslie? - It's an address.
We're in the wrong place.
Not a sign of him anywhere, Mr.
Nygma.
He must be losing his touch.
All right, hurry up and get out of there.
Let's go.
Had enough? Look out! Robin? My foot.
Let's go.
- You okay? - Yeah.
But you better go on without me.
I'll be okay.
Go! Go! Oh, no! Give me that.
Do something! Hold on! Pull the brake! Blast this thing.
How do you solve this contraption, Nygma? Easy.
You just have to be a genius.
Well, you are a genius, my boy.
Sales are up 20 percent across the country.
These toys of yours are brilliant.
Where did you find him, C.
B? He's so adorable.
Who? Me? Of course you, silly.
And you're so smart.
I just love a man with brains.
Gee, I bet you say that to all the geniuses.
Oh, Mr.
Riddler can you tell me what these do? Excuse me, sir, but you have a phone call in the other room.
You're adorable.
Hello? Hello? Adorable, huh? I don't believe you were invited.
I'm on to you, Nygma.
You're still chasing riddles.
- You're still giving them.
- Is that what you believe? Well, how do you know what to believe, Batman? Maybe I'm not giving clues at all.
Maybe you're seeing things that aren't there.
But then again, maybe I am giving you clues.
I could be giving you a clue right now, couldn't I? Of course it's possible that you're just paranoid.
By the way, did you see my latest toy? It's a two-way radio.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the great Batman.
He's here because he hasn't got a clue.
You can play all you like.
But you and I both know I'm going to put you away because you can't help yourself.
You can't stop.
And I'll be waiting.
He's right, you know.
- Who? - Batman.
He is going to catch me, sooner or later.
Gee, boss, you're scaring me.
- You're talking kind of crazy.
- Don't you ever call me that! I fooled the police, the doctors, the parole board, all of them.
There's only one person who's ever been able to challenge me.
Batman.
He's the only one worthy of the game.
But you said sooner or later, he's gonna catch you.
- What are you gonna do? - I'm never going back to Arkham.
So I guess there's only one thing to do.
Give me lights.
Sound check.
We got speed.
All right, let's have places, everyone.
Here's your script, Mr.
Nygma.
I already know what I'm going to say.
Quiet on the set.
We're going live.
Action.
Hey, folks.
Wouldn't it be great to be a kid again? Enjoying all those wonderful moments of childhood with your favorite toys? Not like that, you'll break it.
Yes.
Well, you can recapture your childhood with Wacko Toys.
All you have to do is pick up one of the Riddler's puzzles at your favorite store.
Then go back to where it all started, with toys.
Come on, be a kid again.
He's going to hit the Gotham Convention Center.
How did you figure that? Because of the clue he's deliberately giving me.
- What clue? - He said: "Go back to where it started, with toys.
" The toy fair.
Hello, Batman.
This is it, the end of the game.
I'm a little sad, actually.
You were a worthy opponent.
But then, I told you I'd make a killing at the toy fair.
Ten, nine eight, seven six, five four three two I always feel sad at funerals.
Yes, truly, part of me has died tonight.
And so it is time to move on.
You! I don't believe it.
There's no way you could have survived that explosion.
- How did you get out? - That's my little riddle.
Please, you must tell me.
All right, you win.
You tell me what I wanna know and I'll tell you what you wanna know.
Okay? You mean where you've hidden everything you've stolen? Certainly.
I'll even tell you how I committed all those robberies.
Deal? No.
- Did you get that? - We got it.
This will be enough to prove a parole violation.
You're going away for good this time.
All right, get him out of here.
My compliments.
This is a great little idea.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you gonna tell me how you did it? That's not fair! His accomplices plea-bargained immediately.
Told the police where the stolen goods were and even agreed to testify against Nygma.
But what I don't get is, how did you escape from that explosion? Well All the exits were blocked.
And I was out of time.
There was only one thing to do.
I jumped inside the safe.
Nice going, Bruce.
- Man, I'd have never thought of that.
- Neither would the Riddler.
It's impossible, I tell you! Impossible! My trap was perfect! How did he do it? I have to know! Somebody tell me! It's not fair! There was no way, I tell you! No way he could have gotten out! Somebody tell me! Do you hear me? Somebody tell me how he did it! I have to know! I have to know!