Bunnicula (2016) s03e03 Episode Script
The Maltese Bunny
1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
I was cooped up,
like a chicken in a coop.
(RECITING) "I need
to find my next case,"
-"but instead, it found"
-(TOY SQUEAKS)
(GRUNTS)
Harold, I'm trying to watch
my favorite detective movie.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were just
talking to yourself again.
(SQUEAKING)
I need your help,
Mr. Detective.
My horse has been kidnapped.
BOTH: Oh, where could it be?
It's gotta be around
here somewhere.
A-ha! A missing pony.
My first case.
Oh, I don't know
what to do, Marsha.
I've been looking all over,
but I can't find my
Pretty, Pretty Pony doll
anywhere.
Aah.
I could have sworn
it was in the cellar.
The cellar, my first clue.
There's only one Joe
that frequents down there,
and that's Bunnicula.
I don't know what kind
of a name that is,
nor do I care.
The only thing
I do care about is Mina's
Pretty Pretty Pony doll.
-Tell me where--
-(SQUEAKING)
Harold, we're in the middle
of an interrogation.
Now where is it?
I don't know.
Oh, wise guy, huh?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I guess.
Looks like we're gonna need
to jog your memory.
And I think I have
just the thing.
A cardoon.
Oh.
Rarest fruit this side
of the Rocky Mountains,
and you've never had it.
Oh, no, no, no.
You spill the beans,
then you get the fruit.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
You say you care about Mina.
-Uh-huh.
-Well, prove it.
Think, man, think!
Ooh.
What did you do this morning?
Hmm.
(MUMBLING)
All right. Harold,
would you translate please?
Oh, sure, of course.
So you were saying
about your morning.
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"I woke up,
as usual, in my coffin.
Put my slippies on."
What happened next?
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"Dumped my
carrot juice on. Mm."
-And then?
-Hm?
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"And then I walked
into the basement."
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"Waved hello
to the Minotaur."
Wait. Go back.
What was that?
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"Waved hello
to the Minotaur."
CHESTER:
Right there. That!
Oh.
So Minotaur has
Mina's pony?
-Who was that guy?
-(MUMBLING)
He says he's
a small-time mobster
from the seedy underbelly
of New Orleans.
It was hopeless.
The dame he stole
was lost for good.
(GASPS)
Bunnicula, are you
gonna take the case?
(MUMBLING)
Wait, that's my thing.
You can't be the private eye,
I'm the private eye.
You can both use
your private eyes
to find Mina's pony together.
(SIGHS) As much as I
hated to admit it,
the kid was right.
Bunnicula knew the streets,
and now--
Are you coming or are you
just gonna talk to yourself
all night?
-You do that a lot.
-(GROWLS)
(MUMBLING)
Bunnicula says we're here.
What? We're in the middle
of some random alley.
I thought you knew the way.
Bunnicula's detective work
seemed to be falling short.
He led us to a dead end
and clearly lost sight
of the path.
It was time for a real
detective to step in.
Wow, Bunns.
That is some real
detective work.
A lot of people try
to call themselves detectives,
but
(MOCKING) "Oh, I'm such
a great detective."
-Yeah, right.
-HAROLD: But you
Why me.
-Whoa.
-Wow.
CHESTER: This is amazing.
It's like I'm in a real
detective movie.
I can't wait to start
looking for clues.
(EXCLAIMING INDISTINCTLY)
Huh? What's this now?
-(GROWLING)
-(CAWING)
(EXCLAIMS)
I spoke too soon.
Let me out, let me out!
Ooh, did you find a clue
on that wall?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
I'm a cool detective.
I can do this.
We need to search for clues
and interview witnesses.
For that, we need a picture
of the pony.
-Bunnicula.
-(MUMBLES)
(EXCLAIMS)
Bunnicula.
(LAUGHS)
(NEIGHS)
Aww.
I had my lead.
And the city spread out
in front of me,
like a plate of gumbo.
Dangerous, spicy
Wow, Bunn, you already
got a lead?
You are so good at this.
I mean, really,
that's a gift.
(STEALTHY INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
(HISSING)
(SQUEAKING)
That's it, the pony!
Step aside, boys,
and watch a real detective
solve a case.
Huh, what's this?
(GROWLING)
-What's the big idea?
-(SCREAMS)
(MUMBLING)
Oh, yeah. I was at your
place this morning.
What about it?
(MUMBLING)
Pony? Hmm.
-The pink one?
-ALL: Yeah.
-With the blue mane?
-ALL: Yes.
And the glitter all over it
that sparkles like the stars?
ALL: Yes!
Never seen it in my life.
-Huh?
-What? He's lying.
What did you say?
Go get him, Bunn.
Hmm.
Wait, the bunny?
(LAUGHING)
(CHOMPING)
(LAUGHING)
What?
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, I'll tell you
who has your doll.
I sold your doll
to a big-time collector
named Fiona.
She runs a hotel downtown.
Keeps the collection
on the top floor.
CHESTER: All right, guys,
here's the plan.
We get in there,
we get the pony,
we get out.
Huh, the doors are locked.
Picking a lock is like
second nature
to a detective.
-Like taking a punch,
choosing a fedora.
-Bunn, you did it again!
-Ta-da!
-You are the best detective
I have ever seen.
-And I've seen two.
-(CHESTER GROANS)
(STEALTHY INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
Hmm.
Huh?
(GASPING)
(HAROLD SLOBBERING)
(GASPS) There it is.
The pony. Yes!
I found it. Me!
(LAUGHS)
(ALARM BLARING)
Well, well, well.
Seems the Minotaur
wasn't lying
when he said to watch out
for some toy thieves.
Hey, you're the thief.
This belongs to Mina.
(MUMBLING)
How dare you?
I paid a fair price
for that pony.
Boys, retrieve my property.
Huh? Here.
Oops. I wasn't ready
that time. Here, try again.
Harold, run!
Oh, buh-bye.
I love your store.
(GASPS)
-(MUMBLING)
-Huh?
-(MUMBLING)
-What?
Now is not the time for--
Oh.
(CHOMPING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
(HAROLD LAUGHING)
Ah, so that's what
a cardoon does.
(HORN TOOTING)
CHESTER: (GASPS) Bunnicula,
we've got company!
(CHESTER SCREAMING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Taxi! Oh, taxi!
First and Main, please.
-Wait, who are you?
-You might wanna watch out
for those stairs.
(SCREAMS) Bunnicula,
turn, turn!
Hang on, boys!
(EXCLAIMING)
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
Let's do it again!
-They're still behind us.
-This is my stop coming up.
They missed my stop.
Now I'll have to walk home.
Here we are.
Gum up their tires, boys.
Got it, boss.
(CHOMPING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
HAROLD: Wee!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
Ha! Mina's pony.
(LAUGHS) No one steals
from Fiona.
Seems it was curtains for us.
We reached the end
of the line, and
-(SQUEAKING)
-Come on, Harold.
I've asked you
time and time again
FIONA: A Maltese phone!
You're actually chewing
on the Maltese phone.
-The what?
-The Maltese phone.
It's the most rare,
most sought-after toy
in the whole world.
-And you're just
chewing on it.
-(SQUEAKING)
Please, stop!
I must have it.
Name your price. Anything!
Anything, huh?
Then how about a trade?
The phone for uh, a doll.
-Doll.
-The pony.
No. No, anything but that.
-Harold, start chewing.
-Okay.
-(MUNCHING)
-(SQUEAKING)
No. Stop, please!
(STAMMERS) Fine, take it!
Ha-ha, yes!
Harold, give me the phone.
But Chester, I don't wanna
give up my favorite
chew toy.
Come on, Harold.
Think about Mina.
Okay, I'm thinking
about Mina.
Aww.
And remember how upset she was
when she couldn't find
her pony?
Oh, right.
Well, for Mina.
You won't regret this.
(GIGGLES)
-FIONA: Here, take it.
-CHESTER: Here's yours.
Yes! The Maltese phone
is finally mine.
And it's in such
pristine condition.
All right, boys,
we've got what we came for.
Looks like everything
turned out all right.
Whoo-hoo! I can't believe
you guys found my doll.
I've been looking
everywhere for it. Ooh.
Harold, what's wrong, boy?
(WHINES)
Where's your chew phone?
Did you lose it?
Aww. I know what it feels
like to lose something
you love.
Here, I want you to have this.
I think it'll cheer you up.
(GIGGLES)
Good boy.
(MUNCHING)
DETECTIVE:
It looks like
another case solved,
thanks to this private eye.
Now let that be a lesson
to all you crooks
and criminals out there.
You'll never get away,
-not as long as I
-(DOLL SQUEAKING)
CHESTER: Harold!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
I was cooped up,
like a chicken in a coop.
(RECITING) "I need
to find my next case,"
-"but instead, it found"
-(TOY SQUEAKS)
(GRUNTS)
Harold, I'm trying to watch
my favorite detective movie.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were just
talking to yourself again.
(SQUEAKING)
I need your help,
Mr. Detective.
My horse has been kidnapped.
BOTH: Oh, where could it be?
It's gotta be around
here somewhere.
A-ha! A missing pony.
My first case.
Oh, I don't know
what to do, Marsha.
I've been looking all over,
but I can't find my
Pretty, Pretty Pony doll
anywhere.
Aah.
I could have sworn
it was in the cellar.
The cellar, my first clue.
There's only one Joe
that frequents down there,
and that's Bunnicula.
I don't know what kind
of a name that is,
nor do I care.
The only thing
I do care about is Mina's
Pretty Pretty Pony doll.
-Tell me where--
-(SQUEAKING)
Harold, we're in the middle
of an interrogation.
Now where is it?
I don't know.
Oh, wise guy, huh?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I guess.
Looks like we're gonna need
to jog your memory.
And I think I have
just the thing.
A cardoon.
Oh.
Rarest fruit this side
of the Rocky Mountains,
and you've never had it.
Oh, no, no, no.
You spill the beans,
then you get the fruit.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
You say you care about Mina.
-Uh-huh.
-Well, prove it.
Think, man, think!
Ooh.
What did you do this morning?
Hmm.
(MUMBLING)
All right. Harold,
would you translate please?
Oh, sure, of course.
So you were saying
about your morning.
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"I woke up,
as usual, in my coffin.
Put my slippies on."
What happened next?
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"Dumped my
carrot juice on. Mm."
-And then?
-Hm?
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"And then I walked
into the basement."
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"Waved hello
to the Minotaur."
Wait. Go back.
What was that?
(BUNNICULA MUMBLING)
HAROLD:"Waved hello
to the Minotaur."
CHESTER:
Right there. That!
Oh.
So Minotaur has
Mina's pony?
-Who was that guy?
-(MUMBLING)
He says he's
a small-time mobster
from the seedy underbelly
of New Orleans.
It was hopeless.
The dame he stole
was lost for good.
(GASPS)
Bunnicula, are you
gonna take the case?
(MUMBLING)
Wait, that's my thing.
You can't be the private eye,
I'm the private eye.
You can both use
your private eyes
to find Mina's pony together.
(SIGHS) As much as I
hated to admit it,
the kid was right.
Bunnicula knew the streets,
and now--
Are you coming or are you
just gonna talk to yourself
all night?
-You do that a lot.
-(GROWLS)
(MUMBLING)
Bunnicula says we're here.
What? We're in the middle
of some random alley.
I thought you knew the way.
Bunnicula's detective work
seemed to be falling short.
He led us to a dead end
and clearly lost sight
of the path.
It was time for a real
detective to step in.
Wow, Bunns.
That is some real
detective work.
A lot of people try
to call themselves detectives,
but
(MOCKING) "Oh, I'm such
a great detective."
-Yeah, right.
-HAROLD: But you
Why me.
-Whoa.
-Wow.
CHESTER: This is amazing.
It's like I'm in a real
detective movie.
I can't wait to start
looking for clues.
(EXCLAIMING INDISTINCTLY)
Huh? What's this now?
-(GROWLING)
-(CAWING)
(EXCLAIMS)
I spoke too soon.
Let me out, let me out!
Ooh, did you find a clue
on that wall?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
I'm a cool detective.
I can do this.
We need to search for clues
and interview witnesses.
For that, we need a picture
of the pony.
-Bunnicula.
-(MUMBLES)
(EXCLAIMS)
Bunnicula.
(LAUGHS)
(NEIGHS)
Aww.
I had my lead.
And the city spread out
in front of me,
like a plate of gumbo.
Dangerous, spicy
Wow, Bunn, you already
got a lead?
You are so good at this.
I mean, really,
that's a gift.
(STEALTHY INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
(HISSING)
(SQUEAKING)
That's it, the pony!
Step aside, boys,
and watch a real detective
solve a case.
Huh, what's this?
(GROWLING)
-What's the big idea?
-(SCREAMS)
(MUMBLING)
Oh, yeah. I was at your
place this morning.
What about it?
(MUMBLING)
Pony? Hmm.
-The pink one?
-ALL: Yeah.
-With the blue mane?
-ALL: Yes.
And the glitter all over it
that sparkles like the stars?
ALL: Yes!
Never seen it in my life.
-Huh?
-What? He's lying.
What did you say?
Go get him, Bunn.
Hmm.
Wait, the bunny?
(LAUGHING)
(CHOMPING)
(LAUGHING)
What?
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, I'll tell you
who has your doll.
I sold your doll
to a big-time collector
named Fiona.
She runs a hotel downtown.
Keeps the collection
on the top floor.
CHESTER: All right, guys,
here's the plan.
We get in there,
we get the pony,
we get out.
Huh, the doors are locked.
Picking a lock is like
second nature
to a detective.
-Like taking a punch,
choosing a fedora.
-Bunn, you did it again!
-Ta-da!
-You are the best detective
I have ever seen.
-And I've seen two.
-(CHESTER GROANS)
(STEALTHY INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
Hmm.
Huh?
(GASPING)
(HAROLD SLOBBERING)
(GASPS) There it is.
The pony. Yes!
I found it. Me!
(LAUGHS)
(ALARM BLARING)
Well, well, well.
Seems the Minotaur
wasn't lying
when he said to watch out
for some toy thieves.
Hey, you're the thief.
This belongs to Mina.
(MUMBLING)
How dare you?
I paid a fair price
for that pony.
Boys, retrieve my property.
Huh? Here.
Oops. I wasn't ready
that time. Here, try again.
Harold, run!
Oh, buh-bye.
I love your store.
(GASPS)
-(MUMBLING)
-Huh?
-(MUMBLING)
-What?
Now is not the time for--
Oh.
(CHOMPING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
(HAROLD LAUGHING)
Ah, so that's what
a cardoon does.
(HORN TOOTING)
CHESTER: (GASPS) Bunnicula,
we've got company!
(CHESTER SCREAMING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Taxi! Oh, taxi!
First and Main, please.
-Wait, who are you?
-You might wanna watch out
for those stairs.
(SCREAMS) Bunnicula,
turn, turn!
Hang on, boys!
(EXCLAIMING)
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
Let's do it again!
-They're still behind us.
-This is my stop coming up.
They missed my stop.
Now I'll have to walk home.
Here we are.
Gum up their tires, boys.
Got it, boss.
(CHOMPING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
HAROLD: Wee!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
Ha! Mina's pony.
(LAUGHS) No one steals
from Fiona.
Seems it was curtains for us.
We reached the end
of the line, and
-(SQUEAKING)
-Come on, Harold.
I've asked you
time and time again
FIONA: A Maltese phone!
You're actually chewing
on the Maltese phone.
-The what?
-The Maltese phone.
It's the most rare,
most sought-after toy
in the whole world.
-And you're just
chewing on it.
-(SQUEAKING)
Please, stop!
I must have it.
Name your price. Anything!
Anything, huh?
Then how about a trade?
The phone for uh, a doll.
-Doll.
-The pony.
No. No, anything but that.
-Harold, start chewing.
-Okay.
-(MUNCHING)
-(SQUEAKING)
No. Stop, please!
(STAMMERS) Fine, take it!
Ha-ha, yes!
Harold, give me the phone.
But Chester, I don't wanna
give up my favorite
chew toy.
Come on, Harold.
Think about Mina.
Okay, I'm thinking
about Mina.
Aww.
And remember how upset she was
when she couldn't find
her pony?
Oh, right.
Well, for Mina.
You won't regret this.
(GIGGLES)
-FIONA: Here, take it.
-CHESTER: Here's yours.
Yes! The Maltese phone
is finally mine.
And it's in such
pristine condition.
All right, boys,
we've got what we came for.
Looks like everything
turned out all right.
Whoo-hoo! I can't believe
you guys found my doll.
I've been looking
everywhere for it. Ooh.
Harold, what's wrong, boy?
(WHINES)
Where's your chew phone?
Did you lose it?
Aww. I know what it feels
like to lose something
you love.
Here, I want you to have this.
I think it'll cheer you up.
(GIGGLES)
Good boy.
(MUNCHING)
DETECTIVE:
It looks like
another case solved,
thanks to this private eye.
Now let that be a lesson
to all you crooks
and criminals out there.
You'll never get away,
-not as long as I
-(DOLL SQUEAKING)
CHESTER: Harold!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)