Chuck s03e03 Episode Script

Let's jump right in.
Who would like to help me dissect the branches of the femoral artery? Anyone? No one? Fine.
How about Mr.
Woodcomb? Devon? Devon? It seems Devon has more pressing concerns on his first day of medical school.
So perhaps Miss Eleanor Bartowski would like to give me a hand? Well, wherever Mr.
Woodcomb and Miss Bartowski are I hope they are gaining an appreciation of the human body.
- What did you say your name was? - Devon.
- Yours? - Ellie.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Ellie.
I don't normally make out with strangers in broom closets like this.
We're not strangers, remember? I'm Devon.
You're Ellie.
Oh, God, I love med school.
Broom.
Broom, broom.
Have you seen the broom? Can you forget the TV? I broke another of our wedding plates.
I can do this.
I just have to channel my inner Chuck.
Chuck who? That person's dead to me.
Relax, babe.
I have nine years of postgraduate education.
I can figure out a stupid TV set.
He said he was gonna help us move.
No excuses.
Well, honey, you remember how it is.
He's young, fancy-free.
Probably just slipped his mind.
Honey, look at this.
This is our wedding album.
Is it just me, or does this feel like a million years ago? What happened to us? Well, we moved.
We went back to work.
Real life happened.
Well, when do we get to take a break from real life? When do we get to be these people again? Okay.
Here's the deal.
Enough moving for one night.
I'm gonna get us some real food we're gonna sit on this couch, and watch our wedding video.
And then, maybe later, we can re-create our wedding night.
What about the TV? That's a job for a professional.
Is it just me, or has there been, like, a lot of helicopters lately? Hmm.
Hadn't noticed.
Aah! Sorry, dude.
Didn't mean to scare you.
Really? Then you shouldn't be sneaking into my room in the middle of the night.
Then maybe you should tell your pilot to land farther from the apartment.
Oh.
Right.
Sorry about that.
The thing is, he doesn't really know the Echo Park area all that well but we'll work on that.
Can you do me a favor and help me get out of this thing here? - Pull down on that.
- Where were you tonight? You told Ellie you were gonna help us set up the TV.
- She's a little pissed, bro.
- Oh, man.
My bad.
I had a CIA mission.
What exactly does that mean? Well, you know, same old, same old.
Bad guy throws a cocktail party, another's trying to sell him a weapon.
We bust both bad guys, defuse a bomb, blah, blah, blah.
That sounds kind of kickass.
- What do you got under there? - Body armor.
Leave that on when you come over.
Like I said, your sister's about to blow.
All right.
You could have been a surgeon with those hands.
He could have been a lot of things.
I would settle for being on time.
That should do it.
Try it now.
It has been reported Premier Alejandro Goya collapsed shortly.
Yeah.
Oh, look at that.
I take it back.
You're a genius.
- I'm gonna get the wedding DVD.
- This visit to the U.
S is the first for the outspoken Costa Gravan leader.
Goya has ruled his small nation ever since a communist coup in 1974.
Speaking of collapsing, Chuck, you okay? Huh? What? Yes.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm a little lightheaded, that's all.
- I gotta run.
- What is it? Another mission, huh? - Something with the premier? - I'm sorry, buddy.
It's spy stuff.
It's confidential.
Where are you going? - Sorry, buddy, doctor stuff.
Confidential.
- Hmm.
Hey, what happened to re-creating our wedding night? Sorry, babe, duty calls.
I will make it up to you.
I promise.
The Costa Gravan premier is listed in critical condition.
Outstanding.
Wanna crack the bubbly? No.
I want you to go to the hospital and guard against further threats to his life, natural or otherwise.
But haven't you personally given me the order to kill that commie crackpot on three occasions? And three times, you have failed to complete your orders.
I thought you said you had a perfect record.
Wow, this is getting entertainingly uncomfortable.
Our relations with Costa Gravas have changed, colonel.
The premier is here to announce plans to open his nation - to democratic elections.
- Oh.
And you believe that? Our duty is to stop anyone who would stop him from going through with his plan.
Understood? - Yes, ma'am.
- So this was an assassination attempt? We're not assuming anything until we've secured his medical records.
That brings me to your assignment.
- The premier is being treated at - Let me guess.
- Westside Medical? - Correct.
Everybody, relax.
The doctor's here.
General, are you suggesting that I exploit my sister and-or brother-in-law to acquire confidential medical records for governmental use? Yes, Chuck, that's exactly what I'm suggesting.
I knew it.
I was on it.
Wait, hold on.
And if anything happens to the premier, I'm holding you responsible.
If anything happens to this man, I'm holding you responsible.
In a miraculous turn of events the Costa Gravan premier is being released from the hospital just hours after being rushed to the emergency room.
Right now, we go to Westside Medical for a live press conference.
Dr.
Woodcomb, Dr.
Woodcomb.
It was reported the premier suffered heart failure.
- How do you account for his recovery? - I can only say this: The premier is an amazing man.
A real fighter.
I'm gonna be sick.
What is the probability of the premier returning to work? Is there anything your brother-in-law can't do? Well, thus the nickname.
Okay, enough sitting around.
We need to figure out what happened to the premier.
Let's apprehend the doctor, get those records.
Nobody is apprehending anybody.
He's family.
I can talk to him.
Just remember, Chuck, he's a civilian, so be cool.
Hello.
Heh.
Sorry, bro, didn't mean to scare you.
You didn't.
I didn't? Whatever.
Listen, there's a few questions I need to ask you.
It's about the premier, right? Sure you wanna talk about this here? Hm? Doesn't the CIA want to debrief me or something? I am debriefing you.
That's what I'm doing right now.
This is a debriefing.
I mean, in your secret base? Secret? You watch too many movies.
Just tell me what you know about the premier.
I know he didn't have a heart attack.
His potassium level was off the charts.
- How it got into his system - He was poisoned.
Okay, that's all I needed to know.
Thanks.
Whoa, Chuck.
You know, if there's anything else I can do.
- No, you've been great.
- No, seriously.
If the CIA needs an extra set of hands? - Good to know.
- Chuck, you're not hearing me, okay? Nothing against married life, but I could use some real excitement.
Devon, you're an adventure-sports cardiologist.
Whatever, man.
I can do that in my sleep.
I need some real action.
Some real adrenaline.
I wanna feel like I felt out on the football field.
- You know, I can still run a 4.
4 40.
- Great.
We need a tight end, you're the first call.
But until then, you're my brother-in-law.
Ellie would kill me.
Thanks to your brother-in-law's intelligence we have to assume that the assassin is still in play.
There's an event at the Costa Gravan consulate this evening.
I need your team to guard the premier.
- You want us to break in? - That's invading sovereign soil.
That is why the CIA has no official knowledge of this mission.
Ah, just spitballing here, general.
Why don't we tell the premier his life is in danger? Would you trust a country that spent the better part of three decades trying to kill you? - Heh.
Yeah.
- Your protection must go undetected.
What? So that's it? If we get busted, then the CIA disavows us and we rot for the rest of our lives in a prison? In Costa Gravas, the punishment for sedition is death by firing squad.
Just my kind of mission.
Too bad I have to recuse myself.
What? He's bailing? You're bailing on us? I can't show my face on Costa Gravan soil.
I'm a wanted man.
You know what they'd do if they knew I was in Los Angeles? I spilled more blood in that Mickey Mouse revolution than any other Think you're being paranoid? They called me el Angel de la Muerte: The Angel of Death.
Please, bro, it was the '80s.
Come on.
You really think the premier gives a flying crap about you, John Casey? Oh, no, is the Angel of Death.
Casey, those aren't? Oh, boy.
At last.
They've come for me.
I can take a few of these commies with me.
Ready? No, not ready.
Wait one second.
They are not here for you, Casey.
They are here for Devon? Kind of in the middle of something, babe.
Baby, I've been on call for three straight days.
I know, hon.
And I haven't worked out since we moved in.
Gotta keep my heart rate in the red.
Don't open the door.
Okay.
Okay.
Pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
I got it, babe.
Dr.
Woodcomb.
- Um, yeah? - Dr.
Devon Woodcomb.
- That's me.
- You have any idea what you've done Dr.
Devon Woodcomb? You saved my life.
How can I ever hope to repay you? Okay, how about we just keep it down.
- Devon, who are these people? - Alejandro Fulgencio Goya.
I am the master of parliament and chief military officer of Costa Gravas.
I am at your most humble service.
- What is going on? - You must be Señora Woodcomb? Actually, I'm a doctor too.
All right.
Stay put, I'm going in.
You're a doctor? You know, I didn't think such beauty still exists.
Not from beyond the shores of Costa Gravas, huh? Well, it's nice to meet you.
- How do you know Devon? - You don't know? I was gonna tell you when you woke up, honey.
Ah.
Such modesty.
Your husband's a hero.
I owe him my life.
There is a gala this evening at my consulate.
If you will both be my guests of honor I would be humbled.
He's waiting for you to say yes.
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, yes.
Splendid.
I will see you tonight.
Hey, did somebody say something about a gala? Hi.
Sorry.
Easy there.
Sir, this is my brother, Chuck.
He's your brother? - Thank you.
Ah! The resemblance.
I see.
- Your family has such delicate features.
- Thank you.
Much more suitable on a woman, though, huh? - Fair enough.
Ha-ha-ha.
If he is half the man you are, you bring him as well, hm? A military escort will be here at 7.
- I can't believe this is happening.
- Wow! I can't believe this is happening.
I spent a year on Secret Service.
I'm sure I can protect one small-time dictator.
The dictator's not who I'm worried about.
Is this romantic enough for you? Devon, it's perfect.
Look, I know you're nervous but I also know how the Intersect works when you get nervous.
If you really wanna protect them, then you're gonna have to focus.
Casey, I've got guards with submachine guns at both the north and west exits.
Yeah, copy that.
Main doors have hidden metal detectors.
Go around back, check the service entrance.
I'll check on the premier.
Rendezvous in five.
Chuck, keep a lookout for any potential assassins.
What's the plan, bro? CIA gonna whack the premier? Nobody is going to be whacking anybody, okay? - That's why we're here.
- Ah, I get it.
We're on the counteroffensive.
What's my mission? Your mission? Your mission Oh, hold on a second.
It's Langley.
What are they telling me? Oh.
They want you to stop screwing around, okay? To keep my sister out of danger.
To not take your eyes off her all night.
You think you can handle that, 007? Uh, Chuck? I can't take my eyes off of you.
You must stay next to me all night long.
And whatever comes after.
My wife is talking to the target of an assassination plot.
We gotta get her out of there.
I'm going in.
Awesome, calm down.
Let a professional handle this.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
No, no.
Sarah, this is the premier.
- Call me generalissimo.
- An honor to meet you, sir.
You don't have to say it.
My doctor tells me to avoid this stimulation.
But then again, my doctor is your husband.
Well, I'm so sorry, but I need to borrow her for a second, generalissimo.
- Girl talk.
- Excuse me.
We'll be right back.
- She's good.
- The best.
Thank God you rescued me.
That guy's cologne was practically a WMD.
So, what did you wanna talk to me about? I'm sorry.
Of course.
Of course, this must be really hard for you guys.
- Yeah, it is.
- I mean, one minute, you're broken up and then the next minute, you're on this incredibly sexy date.
So, what's the deal with you guys? I mean, not to be crass or anything but you and Sarah ever, likeyou know? No.
- Never? - Nope.
Huh.
I always thought you guys were like a real couple.
Do you still have feelings for my brother? No, no.
We're Chuck and I are just friends.
Sarah, please, look at yourself right now.
I mean, look at the dress.
Look me in the eye and tell me you guys are just friends.
Yeah, it's our job to fool people like you.
Wow.
That must be hard.
Not just the "not having sex" part.
That must be excruciating.
But having to fake like you're in love with someone for almost three years especially someone like her how do you do it, Chuck? How do you not fall for her? I don't think that you understand our situation.
I understand completely.
I do.
You know, you go through hot and cold patches.
When Devon and I got married, we kind of put the passion on hold but being here in a place like this, it just brings it all back, you know? It feels like it did in the beginning.
All right, ladies.
Yeah, I'm talking to you too, Bartowski.
Enough with the chitchat.
Let's get back to protecting our foreign head of state, shall we? Friends, expatriates, countrymen.
Oh, great, a speech.
It makes him a walking target.
It's so good to be here with all of you.
I see many of my old comrades here tonight.
Men who never dreamed one day we'd meet in the heart of this capitalist beast Los Angeles.
And I see new faces here tonight as well.
Americanos.
They never dreamed that one night they would be dining and dancing in the soil of Costa Gravas.
Hey! Goya! Goya! Goya! No, no.
No, no.
To symbolize this historic meeting of two great nations I would like to invite Mrs.
Dr.
Woodcomb to this dance.
Oh, I couldn't possibly.
Listen, relax.
You know what they say? When in Costa Gravas.
I ran the guest list.
Got a hit.
Subject entered on a stolen passport.
I'm uploading you the photo right now.
Huh.
Charming.
Who is he? Real name's Pablo Alarcón.
Freedom fighter.
Guy spent 20 years in a Costa Gravan prison for trying to overthrow the communist party.
- Sarah.
Okay, I see him.
We need to take him out before the guards see us.
We're on Costa Gravan soil.
They will arrest us if we make a move toward the premier.
We need to get across the dance floor.
Chuck? Just follow my lead, huh? There he is.
The assassin is behind you.
Take him out.
Three, two, one! Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
- What is it? - False alarm.
- He's just a political protester.
- Yeah.
Casey, guess what.
Your assassin was carrying nothing but a rotten egg.
Take him and his date.
Let them sober up in the alleyway.
What? No, I'm sober.
I'm sober.
Listen, it's a misunderstanding, okay? Wait.
No, no! You don't understand! The premier's life is in danger.
I'm just a bad dancer.
It was an accident.
No! No! That guy we just passed, that other guard, he is the assassin.
- What happened? Casey, do you copy? I'm out of position.
The premier is unprotected.
We need you in here.
This way.
Comrade.
Doesn't it feel like anything can happen tonight, honey? Honey? Honey? Casey? El Angel de la Muerte.
Oh, my God! Devon, what happened? - Excuse me.
- I can't believe you saved my life You saved the general from an assassin? I can't believe you just did that.
I can't believe it either.
What do you mean "wait"? Look, general, I hate to interrupt your little cocktail party but we got a man down.
I appreciate your loyalty.
Send in the black ops, storm the consulate.
Costa Gravan soil be damned.
Casey was doing his job.
Given Casey's history, just imagine what they're doing to him.
We will do everything we can to get the colonel back using diplomatic channels.
Diplomatic channels? General.
We can't upset relations with Costa Gravas.
Their future is in the balance.
Until the premier makes his announcement I'm afraid Colonel Casey will have to handle himself.
It's been a long time.
When are you going to learn you do not have the strength to kill me? I'm here to protect you.
The Angel of Death? You're here to protect me? Protect me how? Like in '83? - You put a bullet in my spleen.
- Yeah.
Or in '88, you blew up my dog, Chuy.
Sorry about the dog.
Obviously, the bomb was meant for you.
I don't know, maybe I'm just a humble dictator.
How stupid do you think I am? I don't think you're stupid.
Your life is in danger, you idiot.
Enough.
This imperialist lies.
Who you calling "imperialist," you commie bastard? I need some sleep.
You know, tomorrow, I'll conduct your interrogation myself.
I'll do it personally.
Generalissimo - This is genuine Costa Gravan tobacco.
Mm-mm.
Rolled on the thighs of virgins.
Perhaps you deserve one final smoke.
No.
- Thank you.
- For what? For tonight.
For making me forget about all of this.
Do you remember our first day of medical school? You know, this place has some very nice closets.
Oh.
Mm-mm.
No phones tonight.
You said.
I will turn it off.
It's the consulate.
The premier wants to see me.
Some kind of emergency.
Hold on to that feeling.
I will be right back.
Chuck, I think I can help get Casey back.
Unless you can get in without starting some incident, I'm not interested.
That's exactly what I can do.
I got a call.
The premier collapsed again.
His last request was for me to be his doctor.
Devon, if you think this is your chance to be a big spy My chance to set things right.
I'll get you inside then, I promise, I will leave the spy stuff to the pros.
I knew you guys had a secret base.
This is badass.
- Don't touch anything.
- Cool.
- What are you doing? - We're not sure where Casey's being held.
I'm pulling up the schematics for the consulate.
- Where's Sarah? - We'll call her.
If she knew we were here What the hell do you think you're doing? - What do you think you're doing? - Bringing a civilian in here? Any idea how far off the reservation you've gone? What do you call invading foreign soil against orders? I have no choice.
We're coming with you.
No, trust me.
You don't want any part of this and neither do you.
I thought you didn't want your family messed up with the CIA.
Okay, look, before you go running off and getting yourself shot Devon thinks he can get us into the consulate.
The premier has invited him to be his personal physician.
- Okay, here's the plan - Stop right there.
I am way ahead of you.
I'm Dr.
Woodcomb.
We're here to see the premier.
You can do this, Devon.
Just relax.
Hello, John Casey, NSA assassin.
- Who are you? - The man who's going to kill you.
Obviously.
Who do you work for? Professional courtesy.
One assassin to another.
I work for an organization known as The Ring.
- You want me to work in here? Is there a problem? - He needs to move to a hospital.
Why? So you North Americans can try and kill him yet again? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
The premier's orders were clear.
Acute arrhythmia.
This guy's hating life.
Don't forget, Dr.
Woodcomb, if anything happens to the premier Yeah, I heard you the first time.
All right, team, let's get to work.
What does this Ring have against the premier? Nothing personal.
I suppose I could explain our overarching goals but this might tax the brain of an aging NSA agent.
Let's just say The Ring wishes to preserve Costa Gravas' status quo.
The premier must die.
So must you.
This guy's in big trouble.
I need 10 units of insulin.
Red bottle, yellow label.
On a personal note, I must say, I've studied your work.
Some of your kills in the '90s weren't bad.
Unfortunately, in our game you're only as good as your last kill.
So you come up with a plan yet? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the plan is Sarah and I are gonna sneak out and save Casey.
You stay, save the premier.
We gotta take care of those guards.
Those two soldiers with machine guns? You and what army? That would be Sarah and her fists.
Bring it on, tough guy.
A thousand Costa Gravan pesos says I walk out of here.
There's enough poison in this needle to kill an army platoon.
Well, lucky for me, I'm a Marine.
Relax.
- Let's go.
- That is some woman, bro.
You have no idea.
You owe me 15 American cents.
Angel de la Muerte? - Let's get out of this banana republic.
- We've gotta get Awesome.
You brought your brother-in-law? What were you thinking? Devon, we gotta get out of here.
No, you get out.
Guards are looking for you.
Besides, he'll die without me.
We're all gonna die if they find us here.
We've done what we needed to do.
Sorry, Chuck.
My mission's not over.
That man you're trying to save turned his country into a pariah state.
Do you have any idea how many people he killed? You're one to talk.
Angel de la Muerte.
Look, look, he's not here as the Angel of Death right now.
He's here to protect your boss.
We all are.
- The real killer's in my cell.
- We found no one.
Can't you see he's bleeding to death? Please.
Sort out who's trying to kill who later.
We need to get this man to a doctor.
He has a doctor.
Little busy right now.
Not you, him.
Who "him"? Me "him"? If you wish to prove you're not an assassin, save him.
Okay.
Okay, no problem.
No problem.
We've done this before.
We've done this many times.
Normally, I start with anesthesia.
No.
Huh? Okay.
Okay, no anesthesia.
No anesthesia.
That's fine, that's fine.
He's a tough man.
He can deal with the pain.
The bullet might have grazed his femoral artery.
Whatever you do Eh, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Let the doctor work.
Nurse, why don't you cut those pants open and we'll see what we're working with.
Oh.
Oh.
It's suddenly very hot in here.
It's very, very hot.
- Can somebody crack a window or? - No.
Just as I thought.
Chuck, you've got the hands of a surgeon, bro.
Don't think about the guns.
He's not your friend, he's your patient.
Chuck, you can do this.
Just relax.
Nurse, suction.
Scalpel.
Tweezers.
Gauze.
Iodine.
Forceps.
Just like Operation.
You know, the game? Ah! - What's wrong? - There's nothing I can do here.
Nothing short of a blood transfusion.
I don't even know what blood type he is.
- AB negative.
- What? AB negative.
His blood type's AB negative.
You learn a lot about a guy trying to kill him.
What else you wanna know? Favorite movie's Terms of Endearment.
He always showers after lovemaking.
None of that's gonna save him now.
We need someone with type AB negative blood now.
Someone big.
Does anyone have type AB negative blood? Hey, what are you doing? Put those back.
- Give me that.
- I'm sorry, buddy.
You take one drop of blood from me, I swear to God I'm gonna rip your No! No! No! Whoo! Heh, heh.
Hey, Chucky.
Oh, I feel like death.
What happened? You're just in time, big boy.
Time for what? Congratulations.
The premier made a full recovery.
Although I do not endorse your methods you enabled him to make his announcement.
Costa Gravas will have its first democratic election.
And it wouldn't have happened without your extraordinary sacrifice.
Well, I got shot.
That's nothing extraordinary.
- You don't remember? Huh? Remember what? You stole my blood.
You stole my blood and you put it in a stinking commie despot.
Former stinking commie despot, thank you.
The premier wanted to thank you personally, Colonel Casey.
But this will have to do.
Huh? I wish to thank you on behalf of Costa Gravas and myself.
I will never forget that the blood of an American patriot flows through my veins.
John Casey, you truly are the Angel of Life.
These are pre-revolutionary Costa Gravas double coronas.
Ohh.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How'd it go with headquarters? Yeah.
Uh, we didn't get a new mission, if that's what you're wondering.
Oh, no way.
I think I scratched my espionage itch.
Don't get me wrong.
Black tie dinners and embassy extractions are killer but just not worth it.
- What's not? - If having a double life means having to give up half of your real life, that's just not how I wanna live, bro.
I gotta run.
Gotta finish a few things at the hospital then get home to my wife.
You two take care of each other.
He would have made an awesome spy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it runs in the family.
Uh, listen, I've been meaning to ask.
What do you think our cover should be, you know, moving forward? Well, I think we should keep it simple.
So how about friends? Friends, huh? Yeah, that could work.
I suppose I could fake being friends with someone like you.
And I don't find you completely repulsive Thanks.
so, yeah, friends? Yeah.
Yeah, friends.
So, what exactly do friends do? What do friends do? Uh, what is it? Friday night? Morgan and I would normally gorge ourselves on some processed food play some video games.
Maybe we're not quite there yet.
- We can work on some other options.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
Hey, babe.
Where have you been? Had a crazy night.
I got tied up at work.
Well, why don't you hurry home.
I have a surprise for you.
Well, one more patient and I am on my way.
I believe I owe you a dance.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
So, what seems to be the problem? Ooch.
That looks like it hurts.
You have no idea.
Hey.
Change your mind about tonight? What? What is it? Devon's been.
Oh, my God.
Hey, guys.
Have you seen my husband?