Dawn of the Croods (2015) s03e03 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
[grumbling.]
What's wrong, Eep? Your smile's, like, melting or something.
[sighs.]
What's wrong? Today stunk! First, we had that pop quiz at school.
They're popping out of the ground! What do we do? Oh, sure, like I'm gonna just give you the answers.
[all screaming.]
[Eep.]
Then, when I tried to impress Kevin Hey, hey, hey, Kevin, Kevin! Hey, hey, hey, check it out.
Kevin! [squeals.]
[screams.]
[roars.]
[Eep.]
Even walking home just now.
- [rustling.]
- [girls screaming.]
[groans.]
Lousy wind! [girls screaming.]
[snarls.]
[roars.]
Look on the bright side.
The moler bear didn't eat you, the hole didn't eat you, and, hey, you don't have a deranged lizvult stalking you.
- [screeches.]
- [gasps.]
What are you talking about? Long story, but my point is Lerk, I am trying to vent here.
This was the worst day since the invention of the word "worst.
" If you ask me, the worst day is a tie between every day before we met.
- [sighs.]
I'll see you tomorrow.
- Bye.
[sighs.]
Oh, man.
I had the worst day.
Then come join us.
It's snuggle time.
- [coos.]
- Oh-hh And someone's rolled in a delightful new scent for the occasion, I see.
Man, I had the worst day.
- Uh-huh.
- [Sandy screams.]
Hey, how about you channel that rage into helping me give Sandy a bath? [grunts.]
[yells.]
I will clean you, child! Man, cave door, ugh! I had the worst [growls.]
[voice echoes.]
Hah! Okay, you awful day! I may not have anyone to vent to, but I can draw pictures of you and hurl them into this gorge! [grunts.]
My symbolic rage! I was trying to destroy that.
Come back here! [whimpers.]
[Ow!.]
Oh.
Thanks.
Wait.
"Sorry today stunk.
Hope tomorrow smells better.
" [chuckles.]
What? Who wrote this? [gurgles.]
Someone over there sent this? [gurgles.]
Hmm.
Thanks.
It's nice having someone listen to me for a change.
[giggles.]
Here.
Send this back to them.
[gurgles, hisses.]
[sneers.]
[gurgles.]
[sighs.]
[gasps.]
"Sure.
What's the point of life if you don't have someone to complain about it to?" [sighs, squeals.]
Someone who gets me.
[gurgles.]
Ugh! Not you.
My my pal across the pit.
[chuckles.]
My pit pal.
Okay, boy, let's play fetch.
Mm-hmm! [squeals.]
[chomps.]
[yelps.]
Earl, is that you? [whimpers.]
Earl, meet Not Food.
Not Food, this is Earl.
[gulps.]
[laughs.]
Who wants a tummy rub? - [gulps.]
- [Not Food gasps.]
- [squirts.]
- Ugh! [Not Food whimpers.]
Thanks, Not.
And you! I thought your days of eating me were behind you.
Shame! [moans.]
[laughs.]
Oh, man, my pit pal's amazing.
Your pit pal sounds great and everything, but also far away.
[gasps.]
That's why I prefer close friends, ya know? Close friends? [gasps, yells.]
What was that? Class, today I'll show you how to handle a buzztle nest with the help of my volunteer, Shouty.
[pops, buzzing.]
[screams.]
How did I not see this coming? [yelps.]
I wonder if my pit pal sent me any more messages.
I should go check.
- [screaming continues.]
- [gasps.]
So as you see, not one sting on me.
[groans.]
[mumbling.]
Now that I've shown you how to avoid getting stung with one weird trick, Crood girl sneaking off, please demonstrate.
Oh, who, me? [screams.]
It gets better after a while, but then, it gets way worse, so you kinda break even in the end.
There you are.
Why didn't you come home after school? I thought you'd been eaten or at least chewed up a little.
Eep? Are you still doing this? Hey, that's mine! [growls.]
Eep, how do you know this stranger you're swapping messages with is even human? What if they're an animal, like a fishcat? You could be getting fishcatted.
Please, my pit pal's not an animal.
He's a boy.
He just told me.
[giggles.]
Oh, he's so thoughtful and cute.
Assuming this is an up-to-date picture.
Look, I get being a teen is hard, and you need someone to talk to, but Hey, is that supposed to be me? That's enough messaging for today.
- [hisses.]
- Don't you dare send that! [giggles.]
Oh! [slurps.]
[Thunk laughing.]
Hey, Earl, want a tummy rub? [Not Food chatters.]
Oh, wait, right.
You ate me yesterday.
Whew.
But that was a while ago, so [Not Food screams.]
Bad Earl.
He's not food.
He's Not Food.
Hey, come back! [cracks, splatters.]
Lerk, can you do me a favor? - Anything.
You want my foot? - I'm good.
Can you go to the gorge and pig rat this to my pit pal? My mom doesn't approve so she's watching me like a hawk snake.
To sneak over here, I had to tell her I needed to hurl.
[Ugga.]
Doing okay, sweetie? Blech-hh! Blech-hh! [grunting.]
Still a few carcasses to go.
[grunting.]
So? Uh, sure, Eep.
It's just, I'm worried you might be getting a bit obsessed, and obsessing over people is not healthy.
Did you grow a new eyelash? [gasps.]
Hi there, lashy! - What are you talking about? - You seem less Eep-y.
You're barely around, and when you are, you're not really here.
- [squawks.]
- [Lerk grunts.]
I mean, you still haven't even asked me about that guy.
Agh! Just do this for me, okay? I gotta go.
All better, Mom! Who knew eating dead bugs could make you so sick? Hmm.
[gasps.]
Who is this guy anyway? [gasps.]
Fishcat! Okay, he's probably not a fishcat.
But I should check and make sure he isn't trouble.
Climbing down a chasm Getting a leg spasm [screams.]
- [shrieking.]
- [gasps.]
Not you again.
Can't we talk this? [Lerk screams.]
[Thunk panting.]
Give it up, Earl.
You can't run forever.
I know I can't.
Gotcha.
Time to barf up my friend.
[gasps.]
[snuffling.]
Oh-hh! Or is it time for a tummy rub? Stop! What are you doing? Okay, yes, he ate Not Food, but that was a while ago.
He's changed.
Have you learned nothing? Of course not.
It's me.
[grunting.]
[groaning.]
[screams.]
I'll just do both! [squirts.]
[groans.]
I'm sorry, Not Food.
You were right.
I'll never pet Earl ever again.
[gasps.]
Okay, one last time.
[grunts.]
[sighs.]
[whimpers.]
[chuckles.]
[gasps.]
Finally! I've got so much to tell you.
Like how I snuck out to message you, or how Lerk was being weird, but, like, not in the fun way she's usually weird.
[sighs.]
[laughs.]
"Bummer.
Friendship's hard.
Sometimes you really gotta listen to the other person.
" Yeah, duh, I know.
Tell her.
Hey, pig rat, where'd you go? - [lizvult screeching.]
- [gasps.]
Lerk! Eep, help! My back itches and I cannot scratch it! Also, I'm gonna die! [yelps.]
[screeches.]
[yells.]
Whew! What was the deal with that guy? Well, we were talking the other day, and, well, it turns out he's way sensitive about his unibrow, so I'm sorry, Eep.
I was worried about you, so I tried to find your pit pal.
No, I'm sorry.
It's my fault you were out on this gorge in the first place.
You were right.
I was too caught up in my pit pal.
And I should've paid more attention to my close pal.
[gasps.]
And her creepy lizvult stalker.
[both chuckling.]
"This has been great, but I need to take a break from messaging to spend more time with my close friends.
" Hmm.
I understand, but hope to keep in touch with you always.
I told you, Belt, she's real.
She's not fishcatting me.
[sighs.]
This girl seems so cool.
Wonder if I'll ever meet her.
What do you think? Da-da-da! You always say that.
[music playing.]
Mmm.
This buffalippo tastes so good.
I want seconds.
[chuckles.]
Aw, Mom, can we move over there? The whole point of going out to eat is to intimidate predators.
- We're intimidating.
- [Thunk.]
Yum, yum.
Watch as I lord my clear superiority over you.
[squawks.]
[Thunk yelling.]
Intimidating-ish.
Sorry, but taunting buffalippo is dangerous.
- Not until you're more grown up.
- Come on! Bulk's younger than me, and he's doing fine - [bellowing.]
- [Bulk whimpering.]
Ah! [chuckles.]
Ptoo! Kids these days.
Intimidating animals.
In my day, all we had to intimidate were rocks.
- Humph! - [scrapes.]
I'm on to you.
[groans, grunts.]
And back then, we didn't sass our elders, mostly 'cause they died young.
Still.
Whoa! Mom, you know bitter reminiscing attracts lizvults.
Is this it? Is Gran getting taken to Old People Island? - I always thought I'd go first.
- [Gran screaming.]
There, there, young Thunk.
Gran will always be here in our hearts.
Gee, I'm being real grown-up about this, huh, Mom? [grunts.]
Gran is not getting dragged off anywhere.
[lizvult screeches.]
Ugh! [groans.]
See? It's dangerous out there.
Why go looking for more danger? [Gran sighs.]
Uh, Mom, you okay? [gasps.]
Oh! That was a lizvult.
Lizvults only pick on the oldest of farts.
[others humming.]
That's where you say I ain't that old! Oh! My family won't even lie to me anymore.
I am that old.
[Thunk yawns.]
- Morning, Gran.
- [Gran mutters.]
Hey, aren't you gonna sharpen your tooth with us? Why? Won't need teeth on Old People Island.
All they eat is moss.
Aw, don't say that, Mom.
What if you wanna bite someone? Good point, Ugga.
I don't tell you often enough, but you're not awful.
You know, if I am gonna go soon, I wanna give you your death gift.
[nervous chuckle.]
What's a death gift? Please say it's just a clever name.
Oh, it's something an older family member leaves behind when they're gone.
Sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's revenge.
Well, mine is mostly sweet.
A hidden treasure passed down to the women in this family for generations.
But beware.
It's protected by booby traps, each boobier than the last.
Had to keep the weirdos away.
Also, had a lot of time on my hands.
Booby traps? Like the ones guarding your aged smash fruits? - [babbling.]
- [splashes.]
[whimpers.]
[screeches.]
- Yeah, I'll pass.
- Oh, I understand.
- Eep, you can have it.
- [gasps.]
[groans.]
Ow! Ha! And yes.
Hold on.
No way.
Eep, did you miss the part about the booby traps? Oh, Eep's grown-up enough to handle 'em.
Here's a map to two halves of another map.
I might have gone overboard in hiding it.
Put 'em together to find where I hid my treasure, because I do not remember.
At all.
- [Eep laughing.]
- Good luck.
- Booby traps, here I come.
- Not alone, you don't.
Slow down.
Sandy, Mommy needs a power boost.
- [snaps.]
- [screams.]
Well, Thunk, there it goes.
My death gift has been passed on.
- Oh, this is for you.
- [gasps.]
Finally, something to challenge a mind as sharp as mine.
- [twangs.]
- Boop, boop, boop, boop You know, ever since that lizvult, I've been thinking.
How old am I really? It's hard to know how much time you got left when you don't know how much is behind you.
- [twangs.]
- Boop Ooh! I have an idea.
- [twangs.]
- Boop, boop, boop, boop Thunk, that idea of yours? I have another idea, and this one relates to your problem.
[gasps.]
Now hold on.
Before we go after that map, we need our floaties.
[Eep.]
Don't worry, Mom.
I've got this.
[gasps.]
Eep, don't! No! Whew.
Ta-da! Huh? [grunts.]
Eep, swim right.
No, your right.
No, my "your right.
" Mom, quit backseat diving! [hissing.]
- [gasps.]
- [groans.]
[screams.]
[sighs.]
Whew.
[laughs.]
One-half down.
[laughing.]
[gasps.]
And it only took 19 moons off my life.
Ha.
The other half.
- Better hop to it.
- Wait, Eep, don't.
What if it's booby trapped again? Oh, I'm being ridiculous.
It's definitely booby trapped.
Looks okay to me.
Still, no need to rush.
There's always time to be careful.
- [gasps.]
- [faint bubbling.]
Except now.
Rush, rush.
Forget that slate.
Can you not hear me? [grunts.]
Well, don't uh Thank goodness I was here.
[Old Man Root humming.]
So, what's he doing exactly, besides making me wish I'd lost even more of my hearing? Uh, I don't know.
But Old Man Root is an expert in old weird stuff.
Uh which doesn't apply to you at all.
Saved it, Thunk, yeah.
I'm studying your energy.
- [sniffs.]
- Ugh! Breathing in your essence and Ow! How's that supposed to tell you how old I am? Oh, it's not.
This is for my bald spot.
As for determining your age, just do what I do with the trees and count your rings Er, wrinkles.
Count all of Gran's wrinkles.
Huh.
Well, I better free up my afternoon.
[Eep gasps.]
Yep, it matches.
[laughing.]
Yes! We found Gran's treasure! [Eep laughing.]
Ooh, we don't know who chewed those last.
Well, the satisfaction of finding it is good enough for me.
Aw, come on.
It's just a deep, dark hole full of bones and moaning echoes.
[screeching.]
So there's a few less traps now.
Yeah, this just isn't worth it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
We can't give up now, okay? Don't you want to know what Gran's treasure is? It could be Actually, I have no idea what it could be.
[yells.]
Which is why I need to see it! Eep, this kind of behavior proves you're not grown up enough to Ow! Owie-owie-owie-ow-ee! [wails.]
Mom! I cut myself.
Ooh, Mama will bandage that boo-boo right up, baby.
Mommy, yeah.
[sighs.]
[mutters.]
Don't judge me, Sandy.
You know you wanna see Gran's treasure, too.
[babbles.]
All right, Thunk, let's settle this once and for all.
Get counting.
Okay, I'll just start at the top wrinkle and work my way down.
Wow! I don't believe it.
Just give it to me straight, boy.
I can take it.
Ah, who am I kidding? No, I can't.
Keep your mouth shut.
No, it turns out you don't have tons of wrinkles.
You have one big wrinkle covering your whole body.
[gasps.]
One wrinkle? [hoots.]
Thunk, do you know what that means? I'm only one moon old.
Why, I'm practically a baby.
No wonder I like being carried around.
Uh, that can't be right.
I'm older than that.
- You're way older than - I'm one moon old.
Now let's go.
Baby Granny's hungy.
Yes, Grandmother.
Gran's death gift has gotta be down here.
Dah-hh! Egg marks the spot! [squeals.]
I don't care what Mom said.
She treats us like babies.
[Sandy grunts.]
Okay, you're a baby, but I'm not.
[Ugga.]
Stop right now, little ladies.
Ugh! [Eep panting.]
Eep, don't.
I should've just made "don't" your middle name because you're always walking right into [rumbles.]
trouble.
[gasps.]
Eh? [buzzing.]
[yells.]
Eep, one of those vines must be holding up the buzztle nest.
You gotta cut it.
But what if I cut your vine? No, I can't.
I can't.
You were right.
I'm not ready for this.
[Ugga.]
Eep, look at me! [winces.]
Ignore the buzztle stings.
You can do this.
Your growing up scares me, but I never should've doubted you.
Now come on and save us before my face turns into one giant welt! Okay.
Okay.
Here goes.
[gnawing.]
[gasps.]
Uh [gnawing.]
[screeches.]
[groans.]
[moans.]
- [buzzing.]
- [gulps.]
[groans.]
[gnawing.]
[snaps.]
[grunts.]
[Eep moans.]
Oh! So, tell me.
How's it look? Uh [pops.]
[chuckles.]
- Let's go home.
- We made it all this way.
Don't you wanna see what's behind that door? [sighs.]
Mm-hmm.
[both grunting.]
[gasps.]
[sucking.]
Baby still hungy.
[sucking.]
- Gran? - Mom? Hey, kiddos.
I remembered where I stashed my treasure, and that there was a back way in.
Good news! Turns out I'm only one moon old.
Uh [whispers.]
Just go with it.
Uh, happy first birth moon, Gran.
But did you have to celebrate by eating up my death gifts? Oh, it's not the eggs.
It's this.
[Eep.]
Huh? A picture of you? Oh, not me.
That's your great-great-great-not-so-great gran.
All the women in our family look like this eventually.
You can hang this in the cave to remind you of your future.
[shudders.]
Ugh! Actually, Mom, I don't think Eep's old enough yet.
[Gran.]
Oh, yeah.
Hot-cha-cha-cha! [music playing.]