Five Bedrooms (2019) s03e03 Episode Script

Previously on 5 Bedrooms
I promised we'd have a drink with Jerry
I'm B&B Jerry
And I'm Sam
Sam how are ya?
We're trying for a baby
So you're going through IVF?
No, actually we're looking for a donor
So you wouldn't recommend sharing a baby with her then?
What?
What about you?
Have you discussed kids with anyone other than Linz?
No, I haven't
Would you like to?
Okay, Ains you're up
What about you and Simo?
Is he still escalating the wildly romantic gestures?
Feels like he's been pulling away from me a bit
Ains thinks you're going soft on her
What?
Oh, she doesn't understand why you're ghosting her
Well you know why don't ya?
I found something out that I wasn't supposed to know
Is it Ben and Heather?
Ains I'm begging you please just put it out of your mind
Oh my god, is Ben going to propose?
Ains
It's hard to say what the most painful part of returning to uni at my age was
There's the profoundly obvious physical differences
But I get that at home
There was the trauma of the work itself
After five months of constant study
I still couldn't tell you the difference between pharmacokinetic and pharmacodynamic
But taking home the gold
And the gold that I'd earned
But taking home the gold in the you don't belong here sweepstakes
Was the fact that I had one crossover subject with my kids psych degree
Quick as you can gang
Ah, it's going down
Timmy refused to acknowledge me in any way
And I completely understood
It was about the only thing I did understand
On the brink of my major exam
Ben had decided to become clingier than he had ever been
Tom, you're knocking off
In about three days when I walk out of the exam
Well, we'll stop for an hour and have dinner with me
Half an hour
You've got to eat
What if we bash out a quickie right now
And then let's see how worried you are about my diet then
What, right now?
Right now
I've been wondering how
I'd navigate this world
I've been wondering how
To speak my truth out loud
And not afraid
Well, I made you gold
You made it well
Good
Hold up, I would still quite like to have dinner with you
Get off my book
I'm leaving
I'm locking myself in Colin's granny flat
I'll see you after the exam
Just before you go
I was kind of hoping you'd be around for dinner tomorrow night with Gerry and Sam
No
I'm just keen for them to see the house dynamic
You don't want to advertise this bit of the dynamic
Oh fine, I was doing you a favour
I'll drop around for dinner or just turn up around bedtime
What?
No, that defeats the whole purpose
Also, why would you want to stay with me in my ex-husband's granny flat?
Why wouldn't I?
Look, I'm sorry but until this exam's over, I'm going into Heather first mode
Love you
I'm doing this to protect you
See ya
Oh, Ben, it's only three nights, not even
You can do it
Yeah
You know, I haven't seen Stuart in over a month and I'm completely fine
There's something going on
What?
Simo told me Ben is planning to propose
To Heather?
What?
Yes, to Heather
Is he insane?
Harry, hi
Hey, just about tomorrow
Oh, we're so excited
Well, I've been brainstorming activities that might show off my parenting skills
But I keep coming back to
Should we just go to a bar and drink a bottle of wine?
Or three?
Yeah, we love wine
Tasting it, drinking it, bathing in it
Thank God
And then I was thinking maybe just a casual barbecue at the house
Yeah, perfect
Any videos, allergies, pet hates?
Any dietary requirements?
Ah, yeah, Sam's a vegan and I am also a vegan when Sam's around
You must love her very much
Hey, don't go to too much trouble, we're just looking at it as a normal catch up
Oh, of course
I should just caution though that when I try to be normal it has quite a drastic counter effect
But I'll do my best impersonation of normality
Can't wait, I'll see you tomorrow
See ya
We've got two vegans
Why on God's green earth would he ask her now?
Maybe because things are changing
You know, Heather's on a new career path, she's spreading her wings
Sometimes when you're in a state of flux like that you find yourself reaching for some kind of anchor
That's 100% you
Those thoughts would never occur to Ben
Maybe Mia wants them to get married?
It's marginally more plausible but I don't buy it
I mean anyone who's spent more than three minutes with Heather would know that she's violently opposed to any kind of union, let alone marriage
I'm not sure that's true
I think that she can be surprisingly sentimental when she thinks no one's watching
I'm certain that he is going to walk into an angry brick wall
Someone has to warn him
You can't, I'm not even supposed to know
Then Simo should do it
No, I don't think so
Ah, okay, so Jerry and Sam are keen to the day drinking
I'm assuming you're still happy to be our sober chauffeur
We're going to tell him
Ben is planning on proposing to Heather
What?
Is it A, a harmless gesture of love or B, a well-intentioned but horribly misguided instinct which will destroy their relationship and the entire house
I'm going to say C, absolutely none of our business
Hear hear
Is Heather even divorced?
Yes
Is she though?
As with many parts of my life, the things I thought would help turned out to be liabilities
Why are you here?
Why are you here?
Because I live in a share house with three other people who are incapable of being quiet
Yeah well I've got four of them
Also, you're match fit for this exam, I haven't stepped in the academic ring for three decades
Okay, if you could swear on my life that you would never say academic ring again, you can stay
No noise, no talking, no loud breathing, no eye contact
Even when I did get the silence I craved, all I could focus on was how much I didn't know
And the one person who might actually be able to help me, I was too scared to ask
What?
What?
You're staring at me
Can I ask a question?
I don't think so
Just one question
Heather, we've been over this
Just five seconds, is the collaborative care model the same as the integrated care model because I can't spot
This is the last time, I'll respond by text
When?
When I can
Knock knock, it's just me, I'm not staying
Timmy, I'm nice surprise I thought you'd moved out
I have
Oh, what a lovely moment for the two of you, working side by side, broadening your horizons
What do you need Liz?
Oh nothing, this is just a quick mercy drop, caffeine, sugar, starch, I'm really not staying Timmy
I'll just head out anyway
Ah also, brought you some ADHD medication, very low dose, and yeah, I find a little sniff every hour or so is very beneficial
Bullshit
I can demonstrate now if you think it'd be helpful
I wasn't expecting to sail through, but it's a lot harder than I thought it'd be
Have you actually got to the blind terror part?
I don't know, but it's definitely getting worse
Perfect, and that's not going to stop until the exams over
How did you do it?
I almost didn't, if Stuart hadn't been there I think I would have drowned myself, more than once
Well Ben's been trying to help but I just keep pushing him away
So you're exactly on track
I physically ran away from him to my ex-husband's granny flat
Are you and Colin actually divorced, legally?
No, just spiritually and emotionally
So what happens if one of you wants to get remarried one day?
Sorry, why are we having this conversation?
Oh, yeah, the neural pathways are firing again, I can see it in your eyes
Has Ben said something to you?
No, not at all
But he said something to someone
Not that I'm aware of
Was it Ainsley?
Liz, if I'm about to stumble into some sort of flash one proposal
No one said anything about dancing
So he's going to propose?
He was going to propose?
Why?
Why?
I've said too much, I'm sorry, just, just, just
I'm going to leave you to it, just, just
Leave that out of your mind
You're fucking kidding me
Okay, if he's bringing something on you just try not to whisper it
I'm not going to
Such an idiot
I'm going to leave this with you
Seven years in full sun, in the hole for three
Hang on, didn't he die?
What? No, that was the brother
Yeah, it's me
Oh
Hi, two updates
Um, firstly, Heather may now have some awareness of Ben's proposal plans
Liz!
What did I miss?
Ah, I may have accidentally told Liz, I'm so sorry
She's sorry, I'm sorry, but it's too late for that now
And also, I can't believe I'm saying this but I think you were right
About what?
Her reaction, she was angry and confused and insulted
But then, I mean, I could be wrong about this
But then she went to a place of, I want to call it, amused affection
And I think she might actually say yes
Yes
I never wanted to get married
We only did it because I got pregnant in the dark ages
And Colin's mum threatened to cut him out of the will
There was no honeymoon
And no honeymoon period
Are you?
Yes, I'm filming
Still
Have you got the cake in front?
Yes, just get on with it
On this cherished occasion of our 23rd anniversary
24th
Come on
I don't care, just keep going
The dinner's getting cold
I am trying to take a moment
I'm hungry
I want to thank my beautiful wife for all the 23 years
24?
Okay, well, I'm pretty sure you can't get the cake in front
You're not even holding it right
Hey, are you two around the servo?
I've got opens all day
Yeah, mate, come be
Or maybe I can't
Yeah, it's just texted
We're having a bit of a lone time together, just the two of us, you know?
I am, I'm literally walking out the door
Have a great day
Good
Oh, mate, kiss hug, kiss hug
Mate, I've let the cat out of the bag
You what?
I'm so sorry, I panicked
Just breathe, mate, take your time
We'll just rip the bandaid off
Okay, I think Heath might have somehow got the idea that you might be about to propose
What? Where's this come from?
Lizzie may have accidentally brought it up
What?
In fairness, it's not her fault, Ains mentioned the idea to her
After I accidentally sort of suggested it to Ains
You what?
She knew I was hiding something
I panicked
So you told her you thought I was going to propose
No, no, no, I didn't say it, she said it, but I just didn't tell her she was wrong
Mate, if you're asking do I regret it, with every bone in my body
But it was the best option for everyone concerned at the time
Mate
As long as the numbers don't blow out, obviously I'll pay for the wedding
It's alright
Yeah, but I'll tell you what I'll do
I just won't bring it up
Might be better if you do
On what planet, mate?
Word is, she's into it
I know, surprised the hell out of me too
Shit
I'm not in any position to ask for anything right now, but if you could just try to avoid a destination wedding
Mate, you're not paying for it
I'm chipping in
I love her, not me who loves her
Do you want to marry her?
Marry her tomorrow, I just didn't think she'd want the fuss
It doesn't have to be fussy, especially if it's local
All you really need is a ring
So, how fancy is two for an incident?
No fancy
None?
None even a little bit, no
So more classic?
Timeless
Yeah
Something like that, maybe
The French solitaire cut, a lovely choice
And it's on sale at the moment at just under nine thousand
Actually, Sarah has pointed that one
Also on sale at seven thousand and five
And five dollars?
Five hundred
Anything in the five hundred all told range you reckon?
Unfortunately at that price your only option would be your basic band, nine carat
Fuck it, go the French one
Whoa mate
Okay, just let me do a quick transfer
Can we set up a payment plan, do you take Diners Club?
Phone down mate
Yeah, wrap him up mate
Feel good?
Yeah
She was in world of pain chasing her two kids up and down the aisle
My heart was bleeding for her until she started screaming
Liberty, freedom
Oh my god
I told you Scott, why is our generation so bad at baby naming?
It's not everyone in our generation
Appalling baby names are kind of a white person thing, and celebrities
Of course, no I mean actually I do find the name Liberty to be quite lyrical
Of course I prefer emancipation a bit
Or deliverance or salvation
Should we go another bottle?
No, we should actually probably make a move, we were going to spark up the barbie back at home with all the others
Your housemates?
Yeah, just so you could see the whole dynamic there
I mean they're part of the whole package
Right
Is that a problem?
No
It's probably worth a conversation
Right, you were expecting that I would get my own place
Not necessarily
Yes
I could just, I understand any reservations you may have about our living situation
I mean I was apprehensive to the point of actual physical distress
But it's actually a lot more functional than you think
And we're a long way from that chat
You know what, let's get that other bottle
Yes, our shout
I've never met anyone like you
Douche
I know this might sound weird but
Don't say that, just say
I want to be with you
Fuck
I want to be with you
Head and shoulders
Head and shoulders
Head and shoulders
Head and shoulders
Head and knees
Hey
You alright?
Sorry, sorry, it's the other wrong pipe
Head
Head, I love you and I miss you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life
Will you marry me?
Do you need some water?
I'm right
You sure?
Yes
I'm good, you want me to go again?
No it's okay, you don't have to
Get up
Hey
Was this real?
Of course
How much was it?
Why?
Ben, look I know what this is
I know I've been a bit distant lately and
You know, might have felt like I was pulling away, that's my fault
It's just that this study shit is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be
I'll come good, it's not forever
You know I love you
Yeah, that's what it is, it's just not having you around as much
Is there something else?
No
Well something's happened
No it hasn't
Look you know I'm going to get it out of you so take a deep breath and in your own words just tell me what's happened
It was just once
I regret it more than anything I've ever done in my life
I fucking hate myself
Who?
Rebecca
Fuck
There's a night that may went missing and I swear to God it will never happen again
I'm sorry
Do we need to run through the rules again?
All good
I'm sorry
Heather I'm so glad you'd even think to
You said when Mia went missing, does that mean in the days before, after or in between?
It was actually that night
While she was missing?
No it was after she turned up, Bec was so upset, I went around and I did everything I could possibly
So Mia was at our place?
Yeah
With me?
Yes
So while I was with your daughter trying to heal her relationship with her mother, you all fucking said mother
Heather if I could make you understand this in a way that you could
Fuck
Hey
I spoke to her the next day
I got on my soapbox and I sang her fucking praises
I gushed about her Barrington and the whole time she was
No wonder she couldn't fucking look at me
This is a hundred
Ben?
Ben?
Is anyone home?
Hey sir
Wait are you sure he was going to do it today?
I just saw him buy a $9000 ring
And he was asking for a loan time
Hello
Oh Jerry's just settling in, they're ready for us to spark up whenever
Okay
Well I don't think anyone's here
No I'm here
Um, he's gone
Are you okay?
What, she turn you down?
Oh no it was a bit worse than that
She didn't break up with you did she?
Oh for the love of god what is wrong with her?
You know she's pathologically incapable of accepting love Ben
I bet it was
I cheated on her
Cheated on her
Um with my ex
Rebecca
Me is ma?
Yeah we know who Rebecca is
I'm sorry how did we go from you proposing to you cheating?
Oh my god you knew
How long have you known?
I found out just after it happened
I made him lie he wanted to tell you straight off the bat
And when was that?
About a month ago
Ah god it's going to be me
Um I don't think I can see her at the moment
I'll let her in
Just um take him round the back go for a drive
Just get some air
I'm not going
Granny flat?
Yep
Ah I'm so glad you're here
Why?
I need your advice
Where's dad?
I think he's helping Simo
How would you feel about giving me a hand with dinner?
Only if you don't want me to dice anything finally
Don't ask
Hello Megan
No thank you
I'm here too
I just want to make sure that you're okay
Tim is in there please go away
Have?
I'm just going to go and get my shoulders
No I really don't want to be held right now
I'm sorry okay
I could kill him
Honestly if you put him in front of me right now with my bare hands
I'm just so shocked
I'm not
Seriously?
On some level I was half expecting it
Right from the word go
Sorry if that's your way of suggesting that you're not good enough in some way
I think the fact that he couldn't keep his fucking pants on only proves that he's not good enough for you
I'm not saying that
I'm saying look at him
He's a magnet
I mean I figured being older than him sooner or later some gorgeous young thing would
Didn't think it would be this soon
Go with his ex
That's not just a stranger
She's part of his life she always will be
Has Ben done the dirty?
No no don't worry about it
With his ex?
Just go back inside please
Give me the gin
I don't really have any
We'll get you some
Don't worry about it
Let's get you in
Yeah
I think it's just going to take time
More the better probably
And once she knows the whole story
She already knows the whole story
Once she doesn't know I'll only make it worse
Well at least she's forgiving
Yeah but she's not though mate
She's awesome in so many ways
She can't hold a grudge for decades
What if I'm just thinking outside the box here
But what if you offered her a free pass with Cole
Call it even
No that's not the answer
I just think I need to um
Night chat for a while
I'm going to give you some space
Okay could I offer you a top up?
Thanks Larry
Good?
God those cauliflower steaks smell amazing
Maybe it's the vegan sausages I can't tell
Sorry just give me two seconds
Timmy hey how are you?
I'm in a bit of a strange spot to be honest
Your mum's not home is there anything I can do for you?
Actually I'm here for Ben
He's not home right now
His truck's parked out the front
Yeah I think he's gone somewhere with Simo
Where?
I really don't know I'm sorry
Timmy
I just have a couple of things I want to say to you if that's okay
Absolutely mate
Yeah I'm not your mate
I know my mother better than most kids ever want to know their mums
And I know she's hard work but she didn't deserve this
I know that and
Please don't interrupt
Okay
She's been pushing shit uphill her entire life
Putting everyone else first
And then she finally does one thing for herself
One terrifying thing
She doesn't even know how to use an iPad
And you go and cheat on her
I swear to god if I could
Did Dad cheat on her Bob?
Mia I don't
Did he?
Well that's probably a question for your dad
Mia
Who did he cheat on her with?
That's probably another question for your dad
Is everything okay?
Yes sorry
We'll just
We'll give you some space
Okay
And I know it's hard for your generation
It's all very confusing
But really it just comes down to respect
Don't talk over people
Don't make anyone feel small
And don't fuck your ex-wife when you're in a relationship with my mum
Or anyone else's mum
Sorry mate I might just have to put you on hold for a tick
Sorry
Hey Mia
You cheated on Heather
Why would you do that?
Look you've got every right to be upset
Who with?
That doesn't matter
God tell me it wasn't Mum
Yeah
Oh my god
Disgusting
Sorry I'm back
Was there anything else you wanted to say?
I really thought you were going to be the first man to add to her life
Without taking anything away
I don't get it they don't even like each other
I know
Just the thought of the two of them
Oh my god I'm actually going to throw up now
Do it get it all out if it'll make you feel better
Oh
This is even more confusing than when they broke up
Do you want to know the most confusing part?
Not really
Tell me anyway
Even when people make the biggest mistakes
And the ones that do the most damage
Love is still there
It doesn't go anywhere
It's about the only thing you can count on
You just got to hang on to that
And go easy on yourself when you take a hit
My personal go to is ice cream and the Harry Styles fine line live at the LA Forum
God of course
Hmm
We could do that right now if you like
Yeah
Yeah come on okay
When I walked out of my marriage I told myself
Whatever happens I couldn't possibly feel as empty as I did in that house
Wrong again
I swear to god Liz if you knock on that door again I'm going to
What are you going to do?
Absolutely nothing
Had a little sleep over with yourself?
Yes I did
I didn't actually sleep obviously
I'm wired to the eyeballs I'm overwhelmed I'm under prepared
And I'm bailing on the course
I beg your pardon
It's going to be a lot easier for you and your mates if I'm not there
Don't pin this on me
I'm not
You still have to pay the fees you know that right?
I know that
I just
I can't do it
Would you let me get away with that?
No
So pull yourself together
You didn't come this far just to shit yourself with a final hurdle
See it through
Mate I've got no mental function left
We've got 20 hours we'll work around the clock if we have to
But you're going to that exam
Put the kettle on
Jerry?
Should I just go?
Do you want me to give them a call?
That's right I've got it
Harry
Hey I'm so so sorry
I'm kind of hoping we can just move to a three strikes and you're out sort of system
You haven't read Sam's email
Harry she absolutely loves you
She has not shut up about you all morning
She's throwing words around like empathetic, self-aware, intuitive and elegant
Elegant?
I'll check my emails
Okay so it's just some rough ideas just some starting points for conversations moving forward
Right so we can keep talking?
Well the housing situation might be a conversation but we know we want to move forward with you
So have a read, rethink and call me
Call us as soon as you feel ready
I've got no idea why but they appear to be even more into it now
Seriously?
Yeah they've sent through some rough ideas
Actually this is quite formal and it's 47 pages long
It's a contract
You know we'll just take it one clause at a time
Your baby daddy
Advantages of the stepped care model
Okay first of all there's the
Matching the services
To the needs
Give me an example
Timmy just wouldn't back down
Hour after hour after hour
The Young Mind Matter survey linked complex mental health issues with what two factors?
Disadvantage? I know this I fucking know this
Higher rates of?
Don't tell me
Higher rates of social media usage
And what were the report's recommendations?
Fuck
Right Red Cordy pseudo chasers move
You can go ahead if you want
I know that
Go on I'm fine
You gonna do a runner?
I don't think so
Go on I'll see you in there
I totally thought about doing a runner
But I didn't have the strength
I hadn't felt that close to my kid in years
And I had nothing to lose
Okay please find a seat
Move your jackets please as well thank you
Not sure if it was the red cordial the pseudo or the rage
But somehow I answered every question
Sometimes Ben would come crashing into my mind
And I'd feel a stab of humiliation and pain
But I kept writing
And that is the time if you can place your pens down
Turn your papers over and just remain seated please
Did you notice something strange about the light
I'm still falling through the white
Maybe their love was as inevitable as the tide
Never been more sorry in my life
Never cheated before
I will again
And if I could go back I would
You can't go back
Look for what it's worth this was probably always gonna happen
I didn't see the proposal detour coming
No you're not gonna believe me but it wasn't a detour
I do want to marry you
Where are you going
Oh I just thought I'd give you a bit of space move out for a bit
I don't want that
Really
I'm beyond hurt and angry but I don't want to kick you out
I swear to God I'll never do that to you again
I don't want you out of the house but you and me
I know myself too well
There's no coming back from this
Next time on 5 Bedrooms
Just drop me off dishes stay where you are
Chet she give you any idea when she'd be able to look at me again
I don't want to smell him either
And then this clause bars Harry from introducing the child to any romantic partner without your prior consent
Is it the word romantic or the word partner that's the area of confusion for you Liz
I'll give you a call tomorrow then just so you know I can start a few balls rolling
Let's make it next weekend give us a chance to digest
Something else happened
Harry
Is it Liz
We'll talk soon