George Lopez (2002) s03e03 Episode Script

- Hold up.
- Why? What's wrong? Angie's dad is there.
He's gonna wanna play dominoes again.
All week, it's been, "George, dominoes is a man's game.
Come, show me what kind of man you are, chico.
" Hey, George.
I bet he wouldn't bug you if he found someone else to play with.
I've been having trouble with this lock.
Really? Here we go.
Ernesto.
- Oh.
Hello.
- Join me.
Dominoes is a man's game.
Hmm? Come, show me what kind of man you are, chico.
Hey, you got a partner, Vic.
I'll catch a game tomorrow night.
Oh, but you're leaving tomorrow.
Oh, I know.
Why don't we play teams? - That's a good idea.
- Yeah.
That's a great idea.
Everyone, sit down.
We could play all night.
Never mess with a guy with no life.
So, Vic.
How are they hanging? I was just going to ask you the same thing, Benny.
Now, it's your house.
You place the first bone.
- What? - You play like a woman.
A real man puts his bone on the table with authority.
That's how it's done.
I apologize for my daughter.
Hey, Max.
Why don't you sit in for me? That's okay.
I played all afternoon.
- No, come on.
No.
Come on.
Sit in.
- No, no.
- You're in, brother.
- Crap.
You're about to play the most exciting game to come out of Cuba since they invented Wheel of Misfortune.
I'd like to buy a vowel.
There are no vowels because Castro has detained them all.
Hey, honey.
This is my friend Nicole.
She sells La Marie cosmetics too.
- Hey, nice to meet you.
- Hey, how you doing? Well, you didn't tell me your husband was so handsome.
Nicole, you are not gonna sell him anything.
How do you know she's trying to sell me something? Maybe she thinks I'm handsome.
You are.
I mean, that hair and those eyes - You know, if you just use a little moisturizer - Sold.
You are good, but you're still not winning that sales title next month.
Oh, yes, I am.
You are going down, girlfriend.
- Oh, bring it on.
- Oh, it is on.
Hey, if you could do this in a kiddie pool filled with mud, you could make some money.
That's my mom.
She's just cranky because we switched her to dry food.
If you're coming with me, we should get going.
- I'm going to an art gallery tonight with Nicole.
- All right.
I wanna get there early to check out the guys before I start drinking.
You're gonna have to slow your roll down tonight.
- You've got an old married lady with you.
- Oh.
Well, I don't think so.
She is my raven-haired man-magnet.
Mm-hm.
Just signal me when you want a hair flip.
Whores.
I'm gonna go make a couple of calls, but we really should get going.
I have to change into something sexier.
Sexier? What's she gonna wear, a corn chip and two dimes? Uh, Mom, my room's too small.
Can I have the sleepover in the living room? - It's up to your father.
He's in charge tonight.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - I'm in charge of a sleepover? - We talked about this.
You'd take the next sleepover if I went to the last parent-teacher conference.
I went to that conference.
I remember there was, um, gold stars and the Mayflower made out of toothpicks.
That was fourth grade.
What grade is she in now? All right, I'll handle it.
I better hurry and get ready.
- Look, Dad, these are girls from Allendale.
- So? So tonight, can you try to be a little more sophisticated? Well, you don't need to fret now, little filly.
I ain't gonna try to take none of your book-learning, highfalutin friends as a bride.
- Carmen.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi, you all made it.
Thanks for coming.
Everyone, this is my dad.
Good evening, ladies.
And welcome to Lopez Manor.
Please store all of your belongings in the drawing room.
Tut-tut.
Mad cow, and God save the queen.
Hey.
How do I look? Way too hot.
Thank you, honey.
Hey, hey, Angie.
How come you never wear that sweatshirt that I brought you from Death Valley? Ha, ha.
I'll see you later.
- You know what you would look great in? - Hmm? Your wedding dress.
Love you.
Then why did you buy it if you're only gonna wear it once? Excuse me? Where's the good bathroom? It's back at your house.
- Oh, my God.
- Check this out.
That's it.
I told you to turn the music down three times.
And stop dancing.
No more Truth or Dare until somebody returns my underwear.
How could this happen to me? Now nothing seems right.
Oh.
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
You know, sometimes it's easier to tell someone who's not a friend or a parent.
Okay.
Alex told Ginny that Sasha told her that Zach doesn't like me.
I like Kevin, but I also kind of like Zach too, and now nothing seems right and I don't see how it's possible that How can you pick him over me? You barely know him.
Hope he's not talking to a little girl in a sleeping bag.
I left Miami to give you time to think.
Look, this is not what you were supposed to think.
You're sorry? No, no.
Don't apologize to me.
Apologize to God for destroying 40 years of marriage.
Wow! This doesn't taste like one calorie.
Don't pretend you didn't hear.
Emelina's divorcing me.
What? I don't know how it happened to me.
I don't even know how to say this.
I've been cuckolded.
I'm sorry? Cuckolded.
I'm trying to be sympathetic here.
I just have no idea what you're saying.
My wife cheated on me.
Last week, I went to her dermatology clinic to surprise her and I walked in on her checking a man for moles in a place where sun damage is not a possibility.
Oh.
Angie's gonna be devastated.
George, you must allow me to tell my daughter in my own way, in my own time.
Well, maybe you won't have to tell Angie.
Maybe Emelina will realize that this is a mistake.
- Vic, you guys have a great marriage.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
But it all came out.
This wasn't the first time.
I should have seen it coming.
She was working more, coming home late.
She started going out with her girlfriends again.
Lots of happily married women go out with their girlfriends.
That doesn't mean anything, right? I never thought this could happen to me.
I mean, I stay fit.
I was successful.
I kept the romance alive.
For what? I look at you and think, "Maybe you're right.
" Why even try? - What are you? - Aah! Go to bed.
Ah! Jeez.
Hey, look what the cat dragged in.
You waited up.
- What's with the clock? - I think it's fast.
I'm checking my watch.
Does your watch show that it's 10 past five hours after you should have been home? Honey, I'm sorry.
I was just having so much fun with Nicole.
You should have called.
- You're mad.
- Ah.
There's lipstick on your shirt.
I know.
It's mine.
Oh, you're just full of answers tonight, aren't you? Yeah, and if you smell me, I smell like perfume.
And if you search me, you're gonna find a pair of women's panties.
Where is all this coming from? Tell me.
What do you think I was doing tonight? Do you think I was cheating on you? Guilt.
Are you crazy? We have been married for 16 years.
- We have two kids and a house together.
- Oh, so.
So you're feeling trapped.
No.
- Are you feeling trapped? - Hey, don't turn this on me, Angie.
I'm the one who's faithful.
Why are you being such ajerk? No, wait.
- I'll tell you why.
- Tell me why.
Because you come from a dysfunctional family.
You have no idea what a good marriage is.
You know, maybe, maybe if you paid more attention to my parents you might learn a little something about love and trust.
Good night.
Why are you going upstairs? The sofa's that way.
That's where the Fine.
I'll have my own slumber party outside.
I'll put two lawn chairs together, I don't care.
I grew up outside.
I'm not scared.
I was raised by wolves.
I used to eat berries at night.
Hey? - Vic? - Ay! George.
What are you doing here? Look, I had a fight with Angie, and made a fool out of myself.
- You gotta tell her about you and Emelina.
- What does one have to do with the other? You got in my head with all that crazy talk about how it could happen to anyone.
"Cuckolded.
I was cuckolded.
" Angie will understand why I got so jealous if you tell her about the divorce.
No.
She idolizes her mother.
Listen.
Angie and I don't fight that often, and when we do we usually clear things up pretty quickly.
- I don't wanna be like this with her.
Help me.
- I can't.
My little girl will think I'm a failure.
Sure, you may be used to it, but I have my pride.
When you tell Angie, she's not gonna think any less of you.
You're her father.
And you're not a failure at that.
Okay, George.
I don't want to ruin your marriage too.
Well, not anymore I don't.
I'll tell her.
And, you know, I couldn't say this while you guys were together, but Emelina, oh, man.
She was one bitter tramp with a 10-foot stick up her butt.
She's the mother of my children, a gifted doctor and the most beautiful woman in the world.
Okay, too soon.
Oh, no.
You know what you're gonna have to do to get back into this room.
- What is that? - Ah! Oh.
Heh.
Daddy.
I thought it was George.
- Well, what does he have to do? - Let it go, Daddy.
What are you doing up so late? Something's wrong.
Come in.
Yes, uh Well, I have something to tell you.
- It's not easy.
- Well, just tell me.
Okay.
You know how Cuba and the United States used to have relations and then they grew apart? Is this like when you said my wedding night would be like the Bay of Pigs invasion? Quick, and a failure.
Oh, Angie.
It's your mother and me.
Uh We are having problems.
We're getting a divorce.
You're joking.
- You have to be joking.
- I'm afraid not, mijita.
- I don't understand.
- Your mother What? What about Mommy? Your mother and I just drifted apart.
- There has to be more than that.
- There isn't.
There's just no spark anymore.
And we both love you very much.
You were together for 40 years.
I thought you would always be together.
Me too.
Daddy I need some comfort food.
Good luck.
Those girls cleaned us out.
The only things left are taco shells and jelly.
I'm sorry about your folks, Angie.
- You know? - I was there when your mom called.
That's why I got so crazy.
I started to think if it could happen to them, it could happen to us.
George, we are not gonna drift apart.
Is that what your dad said? Drifted apart? Well, I just don't know how this happened.
Maybe they were working too much.
Maybe she spent too much time at the dermatology clinic.
Getting warmer.
- I'm gonna call my mom.
- You can't fix this, Angie.
It's not that simple.
What's not simple about it? Your mom had an affair.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
It happens.
But marriages get over these things.
It was just one mistake, right? - What are you doing? - Nothing.
It's 3 in the morning.
Why the hell are you building a pyramid in my living room? How many times do I have to tell you? No pyramids in the living room.
It's a trust-building exercise.
Trust? What do you know about trust? This pyramid.
It's gonna fall.
It's gonna come crumbling down because everything does.
And you are all gonna get hurt.
Okay, time for bed.
Everything's okay.
Mrs.
Lopez is just a little upset.
It's great.
You did it without any fat girls on the bottom.
I'm very impressed.
Nice having you.
Move along.
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
How you doing, baby? I'm okay.
You want me to fix you some lunch? No, no.
I just went for a run.
I have a flight to catch.
I have things to take care of with your mother.
Where you gonna stay? You don't wanna go to the house.
No, don't worry.
I'll be fine.
I'm going to a gentlemen's hotel to die.
Hey, Vic.
Why don't you stay here a little while longer? That's a great idea.
I love having you around.
The kids love having you around.
Yeah, they do.
Well, I suppose I could handle things by phone.
Okay.
I'll stay.
But just for a few weeks, huh? Hey.
Maybe I'll even teach you another Cuban game.
Yeah, I can't wait to play Eat the Tail on the Donkey.
How are you really feeling? I feel like somebody punched me in the stomach.
I know that feeling.
My mom used to punch me in the stomach all the time.
I'm home Bam! How could my mom cheat on my dad? Look, baby, I know this is hard for you.
But if you'd grown up in a dysfunctional family, you'd know how to deal with this.
You just don't have the tools, you know, that I do.
- So how would you deal with this? - This? Easy.
Have a shot of tequila and pretend it never happened.
That's not gonna work for me.
That's because you've been cursed by love and happiness.
It's crippled you.
Now, don't talk about it.
Repress it and deny it.
- But how could my - Ah! Angie, I can't help you if you don't wanna help yourself.
- I feel better.
- Ah.
Okay, Ernesto.
This is how a real man trains.
Come on, little buddies.
Two more, and you get a chocolate bar.
Unh! Come on.
Oh, man.
If you guys could do that in a kiddie pool full of mud, you'd make some serious cash.