Hannah Montana s03e03 Episode Script

There it is.
Rack of lamb with a mint rosemary pasta.
You know back in high school I kissed a girl named Rosemary Pasta.
She could've used a mint.
Her breath was very bad.
Oh my gosh, that totally reminds me of when I kissed Nobody.
Absolutely nobody.
I didn't kiss anyone.
I love our relationship.
You pretend you don't kiss boys and I pretend I believe you.
Join me tomorrow on Tasty Treats with Duncan Keats where my special guest will be Will Smith and a very unlucky turkey.
I get so beyond that so.
I know Tasty Treats.
Mile, don't talk with your mouth full, you're getting pickled butter all over my comics.
Sorry.
- I can't even read Garfield's thought bubbles.
I know dad - the girl eats like a pig.
You must be so disappointed.
With a son like you, a man learns to live with it.
Ah, I got a peanut chunk stuck in my tooth.
Well why don't you go upstairs and get some floss? Why would I do that when I've got a perfectly good fork right here? Mile, don't do that, you're gonna' hurt yourself.
I am not.
I think I'm old enough to get a peanut chunk out of my tooth alone.
Mile - The fork is stuck in your teeth, isn't it? - No! Help me! Mile, let me help you with that before you crack a tooth.
No, I am not going to crack a tooth! But she might lose a filling! HANNAH MONTANA Yeah, Tim, I really sorry buddy, I was looking forward to playing on your album too but I gotta take my baby girl to the dentist this afternoon.
Alright buddy, I'll talk to you later, bye.
I cannot believe this.
He just told Tim McGraw I'm a baby.
Dad! I am gonna be twenty one in Six years! Oh, so much math for such a widdle girl! Shut up! Dad, I am totally capable of going to the dentist without you.
You to the dentist Without dad? That is not funny, Jackson.
I perform in front of thousands of people without him I can sure as heck go to the dentist without Dad.
If you love me, you'll never let him back in.
Now darlin', I see how fast you're growing up, and I'm proud of you.
But we both know how scared you get at the dentist.
Dad! That's when I was a kid.
I was talking about last month.
Just relax, honey.
Dr.
Cuddly Cats is just going to clean your teeth.
OK, sweetie, open your "meow-outh".
Come on sweetie, you heard him.
Say "meow".
Come on.
Meo.
argh! Dad, can we stop living in the past, please? I'm gonna' be driving soon, I'm practically an adult.
And I am making an adult decision.
You are playing with Tim McGraw, and I am going to the dentist without you.
That was my dinner! Hey, would you like some mustard or ketchup with that? Oh yeah, I could use some mustard.
Don't have any.
- Well how about some ketchup? - All out! - Then why did you ask? - Well excuse me for trying to be polite! Hey guys! Lilly! How can you eat that stuff? Yeah, don't you guys know that red meat is a major contributer to clogged arteries? Oh sorry, when we got cable, we didn't order the "bore you to tears" package.
Suit yourself.
But while you're drowning in cholesterol, we'll be down at the beach, having a healthy vege salad with green beans, peas, and ar Jicama.
Well come on, Oliver.
You know what, Jeannie, honey, why don't youwhy don't you go and find us a good spot and I'll grab us some drinks.
- OK I'll miss you.
- I'll miss you more! I am so sick-a-ma of jicama.
Then you shouldn't of told Jeannie you wouldn't eat meat.
I did for love! Bland, tasteless vegetarian love.
Oh, excuse me.
Oh! Hot dog burp! That's so good - Get away from me! - ok I can't believe you're doing all this for a girl who hasn't even kissed you yet.
Wow, wow, back up the love train engineer Bob! Someone forgot to get off at Loserville! She's taking it slow, OK? She's been burned a couple of times in the past andshe wants to make sure I'm not a freak.
Burp on me again! Yep, you are quite a catch! OK, you know what, I'm gonna' be worthy of her trust.
Alright! I can do this! Could you just Fine! Oh yeah, that oughta' hold me, thanks! Rico, I know that look.
Don't mess with Oliver! I'm not gonna' mess with him! In fact, I'm gonna' change the menu to fit his specific needs Welcome to Rico's Meat mania! All meat, all the time.
Just for you.
Oh yeah.
It's the promised land! - Oliver, what's the matter? - I dropped a contact meat.
Lens.
a contact lens.
Let's walk the other flav-way, Let's walk the other way - Oliver? - Yes dear.
- You know what the best part of having you as a sister is? - No, what? I was hoping you could tell me, cause I got nothing! So what, you had to drive me here! Quit whining! Just be happy we finally found you a chair where your feet touch the ground.
I hope they run out of Novocain.
- Thanks a lot! - Sorry! Don't worry about it, sweetie, he makes all the girls cry.
Miley! Dr.
Froman is ready for you.
Froman? UhNo, see I think you're making a mistake.
My dentist is Dr.
Reynolds, you know, about "yay" high, curly hair, Oh, I'm sorry, he's "me-out" today.
But Dr.
Froman's subbing and he is an excellent dentist.
Um OK I I can do that.
Do you want me to call your daddy? OK, Molly Open up and lets see what we've got.
Wow, wow, wow! It's Miley, and um, how about we get to know each other first? Fine, I'm a dentist, open up! No, no, no! Ar how long have you been a kids dentist? About forty-five minutes, now can we get on with this, Milred? It's Miley.
We're never gonna' see each other again, who cares? Now open! OK, um how's this? It's not open.
Really? Yeah, I'm getting' air through it.
Listen, I can see that you're nervous, if it's any comfort, I am nervous too.
I don't have kids! Never really got the appeal.
But since we're both here, let's get down, get funky.
What? I'm trying to be relatable! To what, the nineteen seventies? Look Matilda If you'd rather see Dr.
Reynolds tomorrow, I wouldn't mind.
No! I have to do this, I'm not a child anymore.
But if wearing Dr.
Reynolds kitty ears makes you less nervous that's cool.
If it'll get us done, I'll wear a hula skirt and a coconut bra.
The kitty ears are fine, thank you.
Here we go.
Perfect.
Purr-fect.
Now, let's try this again.
Aren't you gonna' say, "let's see those purr-ly whites?" Fine, "lets' see your pearly whites".
No, it's purr.
Like a kitty! Purr! Purr.
- Purr.
Roll your tongue up.
- ?.
With the little Let's see those "purr-ly" whites.
OK! You need to come back tomorrow.
No! Please, I told my daddy I could do this without him.
I can't go home until my tooth fixed.
Please, Dr.
Froman.
look, open wide, come on in! OK I'm just going to numb you up a bit You may feel a slight pinch.
Yeah, right! Nice meeting you! You too, Mabel.
- Owwww - Owwww .
- Owwww - Owwww .
- Lilly - Lilly I am the one in pain here! You think it's easy seeing you like this? Think about someone else for a change, gosh! I know, I am just so selfish.
Shooting pain does that to a person! Miley, you're not going to be able to keep this from your dad, you might as well just tell him.
- I can't! ow! - ow! - Stop it! - Sorry.
- ? I already made a huge deal about how I could go to the dentist alone.
If he finds out that I didn't get my tooth fixed, he's going to think that I got scared and ran out.
But you did get scared and run out! I did not run I walked quickly and with purpose.
Are you kidding? She ran out there so fast she left skid marks on a couple of five year olds! Hey! That is only because I got stuck with doctor "Let's get down, get funky" Tomorrow I'm gonna' go to my dentist Dr.
Reynolds, get my tooth fixed, and Dad will never know.
Oww! You did that on purpose! No, Sometimes I just get lucky.
Your dad's home.
Quick! Get rid of this ice pack! What? Oh, chilly on the Lilly.
There's my big girl! How did it go? Ar easy peasy, lemon squeezy! Well I gotta' say I'm a little surprised and a whole lot proud! - Good for you bud, Good for you! - Thank-you daddy.
I'm feeling the love.
Well I'm glad everything worked out, cause now I got a surprise for you.
Guess what teen pop sensation is gonna' be chowin' down with Duncan Keats in the morning? Ashley Tisdale? No! They had a cancellation and I know how much you love the show so I got you in! Oh! Wo-ho! Yay Miley! Yay me! - Wo! - Wo! - Wo! - Yeah! - Wo! - Wo! - ?.
Wo! Well, well, well.
If it isn't my favorite meatless meat head! What happened? I was waiting for Jeannie and then Everything went all beefy.
Oh man, Rico! Dude, why did you do this to me? I'm rich and bored.
It's just what I do! - Oliver? - Oh no.
Oh, hey Jo Don't.
You.
Dare! How are you going to stop me? One word.
Please! Alright, I got a heart.
I'll give you thirty seconds to make a run for it! Thirty seconds? You're right.
Twenty.
I personally, don't think you're gonna' make it.
Hello! Wow, Rico - what happened here? Don't know.
Must have been a pack of wild dogs.
I'm guessing ten nine eight So, ar where's your boyfriend? I don't know I was supposed to meet him here.
Really? You should call him.
As a matter of fact, I'll do it for you.
Oliver? "Oliver no esta en casa?" Oh hey Jeannie You found me.
Now it's your turn to hide.
One two three Where did Jeannie go she's still here.
All right Jeannie, I ate meat.
I'm not proud of it but I did it, and I'm sorry.
So you're not mad at me? You told me the truth.
And that's more important to me than whether you eat meat or not.
Really? So all I have to do is tell you the truth? Absolutely.
Great! Well, your hair's greasy and would it kill you to throw on a little eyeliner? - Don't push it.
- Yes dear.
There it is.
Duncan's thirty-minute mousse.
And here's a tip: you know it's done, when you turn it over, and it can stay in the bowl.
OK, here's another tip: Watch Emerald, he knows what he's doing.
Don't worry that was just a stunt mousse.
The real mousse is in the back hitting on a sweet little apple tart.
Ow, that's hot! Don't go anywhere, because the incredible Hannah Montana is coming up next.
We'll be right back.
Can I get some ice? Oh, you're a little shiny, let me get that for you.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, just a little more.
- No, no, no, really, that's good.
- Just a little - That is good! - All done.
That Duncan is funny.
It makes me wish I was a guest on the show.
What a great idea! You really do deserve a treat and I am overexposed as it is.
Hannah this, Hannah that.
Even I'm sick of me.
Have fun in the spotlight, see you.
Oh no honey, we both know it's you the fans want to see chopping down.
I know I do! So Hannah, tell me, what do you think? Just tell me you love it, this is TV, nobody cares about the truth.
Honestly Duncan, it is delicious.
Soft, creamy, and well, delicious! You could not have made me a more perfect dessert.
I love you man.
Oh well - Well, we're all done here, thank-you - Oh no, we're not all done, because I have you a very special treat.
And here it is.
Oh, oh.
Grandma Keats Homemade toffee bar with a hard, peanut brittle shell.
Or as Grandma calls it, the Molar Masher.
Chef boy are you kidding me, say what? You're gonna' love it.
Ar, you know what, actually, I'm still loving the mousse.
And it's all your fault for making it so darn good.
You don't know what you're missing.
I think I do.
Isn't she cute? Seriously, enough with the mousse.
Hey, but I'm not done! - Yes you are.
- no, I'm not.
Let loose my moose! Oopsies? Eat grandma's bombe! No thank-you, I'm good.
Eat grandma's bombe, Eat grandma's bombe, Eat grandma's bombe - Eat IT! - Yes sir! Maybe just a little taste.
Thank-you.
Ahh!!! You know, considering what happened on the show, it was awful nice of Duncan to loan you that frozen fish! Tell you what, when we get home, I might just cook it up for you! Just for the halibut.
Halibut! Dad, just cause you say it twice, doesn't make it funny.
Well what else could I do, you left me floundering out there! Flounder! I wish I had a boyfriend that funny! That's my dad! I know.
I was just fishin.
fishin! Yeah.
Anyhoo, uh, we're going to get that tooth fixed honey, don't you worry about it.
I'm gonna be standing in there right beside you holding your little hand.
Daddy, come on.
I did not go through all this "molar-mashing" pain to be right back where I started.
You're staying out here.
Miley! The Doctor is ready for you! And I am ready for him! See you later daddy.
Mile You haven't moved yet.
Dang it, I am such a wimp.
Oh, you're not a wimp.
You're just scared.
That's OK.
Remember when you were four? You were afraid to jump in a pool but eventually you did that.
When you were eight, you were scared to ride your bike - you eventually did that.
One of these days you're going to walk right through that door all by yourself.
But just not today that's OK too.
Miley! I promise daddy, next time I really will do this alone.
Don't worry about it.
Everybody grows up on their own pace.
I totally destroyed your shields, Jeremy! - Did not! - Did to! - Did not! - Did to! Dad! Everyone? Well, a father can dream.
You're a sweet young thang, and you smell so fine, you mean the world to me, I'm so happy that you're mine.
Don't want no taste of sushi or chicken pot's pie, just wanna' hear you sizzle my smoking hot rib bar.
He loves meat! Say what, say what! He loves meat! Say what, say what! Some people call you fatty, but I love you just like daddy, now hop on my fork and say hello to your big daddy.
Yo! Get your hands off my girl! Word!