Hey Arnold! (1996) s03e03 Episode Script

1
MAN: Here we go.
HELGA: Arnold.
(YOWLING)
(BARKING)
Hey, Arnold!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMS)
Hey, Arnold!
Arnold.
Arnold.
(SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
Arnold.
Move it, football head!
ALL: Hey, Arnold!
Darn house, always
falling apart.
If it's not the paint peeling
or the bad wiring,
it's this lousy old lamp.
Ah! There, that's fixed.
Maybe now I can get
a little peace and quiet.
Grandpa, you need to
fix the toilet.
It's a stink,
apparently upstairs!
Hey Gramps, some kid
threw a ball through
my window,
and I want it fixed pronto.
Grandpa, the floor is covered
with bugs.
When are you going to
spray and kill
these vermin?
Stop yelling
and making a fuss,
will ya?
I'll fix everything
and kill the bugs
when I get done doing
all the other junk
I have to do
around this
broken-down dump.
What about my broken window?
That's not gonna go away!
These horrible bugs
will take over
the whole house!
When are you going to
fix the toilet, Grandpa?
ERNIE: Ixnay on the oiletnay!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
The wallpaper
in my room
is peeling again.
So fix it yourself.
You keep telling us
how handy you are.
Oh, Suzie, I have a cramp
in my stomach
from this terrible food.
ERNIE: Put a sock in it,
Kokoshka?
Every day, it's,
"Oh, Suzie,
"I got a cramp
in my stomach."
All you do is
sit around and complain.
(SPITS) Ugh! Can't we get
any decent grub
in this house?
MR. HYUNH:
What about my wallpaper?
Are you tired
of the rat race?
A daily grind and a life
full of too many
responsibilities
and not enough of
the simple rewards
you deserve?
Yes, and yes
to the other question.
Are you living in a house
that seems to be
falling down around you?
It's like he knows me!
Wouldn't it be
just like heaven
if you could somehow leave
all those problems behind?
Well, now you can.
Yes, my friends,
here at Casa Paradiso,
life is the way
it should be.
No daily grind,
no worries about
monthly bills.
(SIGHS)
For one surprisingly
affordable price,
you can be ensconced
in your own private
palatial condominium
with beachfront access
and shuffleboard.
Ooh, shuffleboard!
Yes, my friends,
shuffleboard!
Here at Casa Paradiso,
the only decision
you will have to make
is what kind of soothing
tropical fruit drink
you want in your coconut.
I want peach-mango!
Mmm. Peach-mango.
Now that tastes
like paradise!
Don't you deserve
a taste of paradise?
I do!
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
I want a taste of paradise!
Nice going, Kokoshka!
ALL: You broke the door!
MR. HYUNH: I saw him!
The toilet is exploding!
Hmm. Everybody yelling,
everything falling apart.
What I wouldn't give
to get rid of
this whole place
and all the lunatics
that live in it
once and for all!
Yes?
Uh, yes, I'd like to speak
to the owner of the building.
You are.
Sir, I represent
an eccentric billionaire
with an obsessive interest
in purchasing old
broken down buildings
commonly known
in real estate circles
as fixer-uppers.
Oh! How nice for you!
And I've been instructed
to offer you a tidy sum
for the deed to your building.
Wha You want to buy
the boarding house?
Well, step into
my parlor.
OSKAR: Give me the butter!
ERNIE: I'll pass it
when I'm good and ready.
Attention everyone!
I have a big announcement
to make,
and it's great news.
You're gonna fix
my window.
Better than that!
I'm selling
the boarding house!
(ALL GASPING)
Then moving Arnold,
Pookie and me down to Florida
to live in Casa Paradiso.
Oh, we're goin'
To a hukilau
Huki huki huki ♪
That's the spirit,
Pookie.
Once I sign the contract
at the end of the week,
the deal will be final.
Sell the boarding house?
What are you talking about?
How could you do this?
What about us?
Where will we go?
Now, now,
don't worry!
I'm giving you
plenty of notice.
You have to be out
by Tuesday.
Grandpa!
This is our home,
Grandpa!
That's right,
we're a family!
You're all constantly
shouting and arguing
and never get along.
You're all a bunch of
mismatched misfits!
Breaking us all up
is a blessing in disguise.
(GRANDPA WHISTLING)
Arnold, what are we
going to do?
Grandpa, how could
you do this?
How could you sell
our boarding house?
Easy. The man offered me
the money, and I took it.
But Grandpa,
this is our home.
This isn't a home,
Arnold!
A home is a place
where people live together
and help each other
and care about each other
like a family!
Family, Arnold.
That's what a home
is supposed to be.
This whole place
Why, it isn't a home,
and it isn't a family.
And the fact is,
I'm sick of it.
So I'm selling
the whole
kit and caboodle
and moving you,
me and Grandma
to Casa Paradiso.
But Grandpa
Now go play or something,
I've got to pack up
my valuable knickknacks.
Okay, Grandpa is
really serious about
selling our house.
And if we don't
do something,
y'all have to find
somewhere else to live.
Yeah, but what can we do?
Grandpa won't listen
to us.
Hey, I got friends who are
very persuasive speakers,
if you know what I mean.
We don't need
your friends!
The first thing we have to do
is stop fighting all the time.
It's driving Grandpa crazy.
He doesn't believe
we're a family.
Technically, he's right.
Yeah, but Mr. Potts,
we all do live
in the same house,
and we should act
like a family.
So what do you
want us to do?
Pretend we're a family
and we like each other?
That's exactly what
I want us to do.
What, and say things like,
"Here, let me
get the door for you."
And, "Boy, it's fun to live
in the same house as you."
Right. And we have to start
first thing tomorrow.
Well, it's worth a try.
It sounds like a lot
of work, but okay.
Yes, okay.
I'm game.
Remember, we're a family.
Oh, boy.
Only two more breakfasts
in this miserable
old boarding house.
That's a nice shirt, Grandpa.
And you have nice shoes,
too, Oskar!
Thank you, Mr. Hyunh.
Hey, Hyunh,
did I ever tell you
you have lovely eyes.
MR. HYUNH: No, but thank you
all the same.
May I pass anyone
the butter? Grandpa?
You're up to something,
aren't you?
Now what's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
We're putting up new wallpaper
in Mr. Hyunh's room.
And me and that Kokoshka here
are going to fix
my busted window.
Right, we're working together
just like one big
happy family.
Just like we're brothers.
(LAUGHS SHEEPISHLY)
Oh, I see!
Oh, that's very nice.
You're all being polite
and courteous and helpful.
Almost like you care
about each other.
Well, I don't buy your act
for a second,
you bunch of fakers!
Come tomorrow,
I'm signing the contract
and selling the boarding house
once and for all!
Put that in your pipe
and smoke it.
Well, time for plan B.
What's plan B?
I'll let you know
as soon as I think of it.
Okay, what's this
all about?
Grandpa, the boarders
and I all got together
Like a family!
Because we wanted to
say some things
about the boarding house.
And, well, how we feel
about it.
Well, get on with it.
I've got packing to do.
First, Mr. Potts would like
to read a poem that he wrote.
"Knocked Down,"
by Master Ernie Potts.
I've knocked down
my share of buildings
and leveled a lot of places
and seen the miserable looks
on the former
occupants' faces.
If you kick us out,
Grandpa,
we'll be real angry
and sad.
On account of
living right here
has been the best time
most of us has ever had.
And now, Suzie will
favor us with a slideshow.
This is the first day
Oskar and I moved
into the boarding house.
See how happy we were?
That didn't last,
did it?
Oh, and here we are
at the first annual
boarding house picnic.
I just want to say that
I like living
in the boarding house,
and also, I want to apologize
for all the times I lied
and borrowed money
and didn't give it back.
Hmm.
And finally, Mr. Hyunh.
I just want to say,
if I had to move from here,
I will miss this house
every day.
Plus, it is very easy
to walk to my shop
from here.
Thank you.
So you see, Grandpa,
we all love living here.
And we don't wanna move.
What do you say?
I guess there's only
one thing to say
after I've listened
to all of you,
and this is it.
(ALL GASPING)
Casa Paradiso!
Good night.
Oh, we're going
to a hukilau
Huki, Huki, Huki, Huki,
hukilau! ♪
I can't believe it.
He's actually gonna
sell the boarding house?
We never see
each other again?
I never thought
it would happen.
I gotta tell you, huh?
I'm gonna miss you,
Hyunh and Kokoshka.
Even with all your
annoying, stinking habits,
the truth is,
I love you guys.
Yes, I love you too.
You too, buddy.
I love everyone!
Aww!
Group hug!
Hello, Sir.
I've got the contract
and the check,
and all you've got to do
is sign on the dotted line.
And I've got just the pen
to do it.
Where's the boy?
Arnold, time to go!
I'm not going, Grandpa.
What are you talking about?
Of course you're going.
You're going
to Casa Paradiso
with me and your grandma.
Now get in the packer.
I don't want to go, Grandpa.
I want to stay here
with my family.
Family? What family?
This family!
Oh, that's not a family,
Arnold. That's a bunch
of lunatics
that can't agree
on one blasted thing.
Well, we agree
on one thing.
We're sticking together!
Yes, together!
I wanna stay with them.
That's right, Gramps.
We'll take care of him.
Don't worry,
we're a family,
even if you don't
want to be part of it.
Arnold, the only family
you have is me
and your grandma
and this packer.
Now get in.
Grandpa, the only family
I've ever known,
the only home I've ever had
is right here.
And I'm not leaving.
We love each other!
Group hug?
Not now, Hyunh.
Cold shower, huh?
Arnold, don't do this to me!
You're making me mad.
Don't you want
to be a part of
this family, Grandpa?
Home is where
the family is, Phil.
What the
Where'd you come from
all of a sudden?
Now you're gonna
make sense, is that it?
Oh, great timing,
Pookie.
And what do you have
to say about it?
Cheese and crackers,
I'm surrounded.
Just inches
from Casa Paradiso
and you have to
steal it all away from me.
Everything's going to be
different now, Grandpa.
Yeah, yeah, well,
you better not start arguing
like you always do.
Oh, what are you
talking about, old man?
We never argue.
ERNIE: Clam up, Kokoshka,
you weasel!
Aloha, oi! Aloha, oi!
Everybody! Aloha, oi! ♪
GRANDPA: Can you stop
playing handball in there?
We were sailing along
On Moonlight Bay
We could hear
the voices singing
They seemed to say
"You have stolen my heart
"And gone away"
As we sing our moonlit song
on Moonlight Bay
On moonlight bay ♪
Class! That was
wonderful, Gerald.
Good job.
Lots of enthusiasm
on the finish.
You really nailed
those high notes.
Finally!
Man, I've been waiting
for Mr. Simmons to give me
a solo all year!
All of you need to
match Gerald's enthusiasm
to get ready
for the spring concert.
It's in less than two weeks.
Oh, concert?
I hate concerts!
You got that right,
pink boy!
Who in their right mind
would want to stand on a stage
and sing in front of everyone?
(BELL RINGS)
I tell you, Arnold,
everyone's gonna
be there!
Our families,
the neighbors,
everyone comes
to the spring concert.
The spring concert?
I never miss it.
What's your class
gonna sing this year, boys?
Gerald's got a big solo
at the end of Moonlight Bay.
Really?
That's one more reason
not to miss it, Harvey.
Better take care
of that voice, Gerald.
Ah, don't worry.
Nothing's gonna happen
to my voice.
Oh, those tonsils
are really enlarged,
Gerald!
I think we should
take them out
this week!
Take 'em out?
This week? Why?
Well, Gerald,
you've complained of
sore throats several times
this year,
and I think your tonsils
are the problem.
But I've got a big solo
in the school concert!
And it's in two weeks!
Then let's do it tomorrow.
Oh, man!
I've never had
an operation before.
Oh, it's very minor
surgery, Gerald.
You'll be in and out
in one day!
Don't worry, Gerald.
I had my tonsils out
when I was eight.
And it wasn't bad.
I remember they gave me
all the ice cream I could eat.
You still do that?
All the ice cream
you can eat.
All the ice cream
I can eat.
Like I want to eat
all this ice cream.
My throat is killing me.
When do you get
your voice back?
Doctor said
a couple of days.
Yeah, too bad
about your throat.
So, are you gonna eat that?
All right! (CHUCKLES)
Mmm, mmm.
(BELL RINGS)
How's Gerald's recovery
going, Arnold?
Fine, I guess.
He couldn't really talk yet,
so I didn't ask
too many questions.
Something's wrong
with his voice?
No, it just sounds funny.
He'll be okay
in a couple of days.
Guys, if there's
something wrong,
like his voice is shot
or something,
I reckon I can sing
his big solo
at the concert next week.
Now, let's not get
carried away, Stinky.
Not that you don't have
your own very special voice,
but we'll wait until we
hear from Gerald before
we go replacing him.
Well, if you end up
needing yourself
a new tenor soloist,
Mr. Simmons,
I'm your boy.
On Moonlight Bay ♪
Stinky
Just think about it, okay?
Thank you, Stinky.
Hello.
Hey Arnold, it's me.
Who? Is this Harvey?
No, man! It's Gerald.
(LAUGHS) Right.
Arnold, it's me, Gerald!
Gerald, your best friend,
remember?
Oh, okay.
If you're Gerald,
tell me how many
Purty Boy mysteries
I have in my collection.
And I have volume 7 and 11
at my house.
Gerald?
What?
I I can't believe it!
You sound
completely different.
I do not.
What's wrong
with your voice, Gerald?
Yeah, you sound
really bad.
No, I don't.
I reckon you're gonna
sound like this
till way past Friday.
Oh, don't worry, Stinky.
I'll be able to sing.
You've stolen my heart
And gone away
(MUFFLED GIGGLING)
As we sing a moonlight song
On Moonlight Bay ♪
Oh, Gerald,
that really bites!
Okay, class, quiet down.
It wasn't that funny.
Well, it was pretty funny.
But we shouldn't laugh
at Gerald's expense.
(BELL RINGING)
Oh, darn that bell.
All right, that'll do
for today.
What a voice!
You could demolish
buildings with that voice!
Sheesh! (LAUGHS)
Gerald, wait a sec.
I'm sorry the kids made fun
of your new voice.
New voice? No.
That's my temporary voice.
Everything's fine,
Mr. Simmons!
You know, Gerald,
if you're still recovering
from your tonsillectomy,
you could consider giving
the part to someone else
for Friday's concert.
Now there's an idea!
No! I'll be fine!
Hey, man, the part
means a lot to me!
Don't give it away
to somebody else.
I still got my tonsils.
In fact, I got four of 'em.
I'm a freak of nature.
Stinky!
Stinky!
On moonlight bay! ♪
I'll be fine by Friday,
Mr. Simmons!
I'll be great! You'll see!
Fourth grade sound off!
Phoebe.
Stinky.
Harold.
Arnold.
Sheena.
Gerald.
I don't get
what you're laughing at.
My voice hasn't changed.
Hasn't changed at all.
My voice has changed,
hasn't it, Arnold?
No, not at all.
Tell the truth!
Okay, maybe a little.
No one can tell, really.
Hey, Arnold.
Hey, Gerald.
Hey, Harvey.
Hey, Harvey.
Whoa, Gerald, man,
what happened to your voice?
What am I gonna do,
Arnold?
Maybe if you gargle
or something,
or practice your scales
Ah!
La la la la la la la!
La la la la la la la la la!
La la la la la la la la la!
Quiet! I can't
take it anymore!
Whoever that is,
he's right, Gerald.
Go to sleep, okay?
La la la la la la la la la!
La la la la la la la la la!
Well, I'm going
to work early.
Good luck
with that voice, Gerald.
And go easy
on breathing that stuff.
It stinks to high heaven.
I've got to, Dad!
It's gonna cure my voice.
Whatever you say, Gerald.
Figaro, Figaro
Figar-oooo! ♪
(LAUGHING)
What a crazy voice!
Well, tonight's the concert.
Yeah. I'm not going.
What?
I can't go through
with it.
You can do it, Gerald.
Just think positive.
Arnold, you're
my best friend.
And I appreciate the way
you're always looking
on the bright side.
But I think it's time we both
stopped kidding ourselves
and faced the music.
My voice stinks.
I'm not gonna sing!
Nothing in the world's
gonna get me on that stage.
Come on, Gerald.
It isn't that big
of a change.
It's big, but it's not
insurmountable.
"Insurmountable?"
Man, you read too much.
Hey, I've got an idea!
Why don't we go
ask your doctor?
Aaaaa!
It's true, your voice
still sounds raspy.
Even after
you've recovered.
Now that I think of it,
this exact same thing
happened to one
other patient of mine
many years ago.
Really? Anybody I know?
So, you had your tonsils
out, huh?
That's why you
got the new voice?
Yup.
Listen, you'll be okay
in no time.
I tell you
how it went for me.
See, after Doctor Steig
took out my tonsils,
I pretty much stunk up
the whole choir practice
for a while.
Everyone thought
it was hilarious.
I'd answer the phone,
and they'd say,
"Harvey, I thought
that was your dad."
And things like that
got me down.
I used to head out to my room
and listen to my records
by my favorite blues singer.
After a while,
I started thinking
to myself,
"Hey, he sings
in a raspy voice,
why can't I?"
Oh, it's just
my tonsils, baby
Puttin' me through
them changes, yeah ♪
So remember,
you're still Gerald.
No matter what crazy thing
your voice is doing,
just sing what
you feel tonight.
Gerald, let me tell you.
That's what the blues
is all about.
Be true to yourself.
You understand?
Ain't nothing to it
but to do it, buddy.
It's just my tonsils, baby
Puttin' me through
them changes again ♪
What are we
waiting for, Arnold?
It's almost showtime.
Class, this is it.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Take your places,
everyone.
Get frosty!
Well, it's almost time
for your big solo.
You're not nervous about
blowing it in front of
everyone, are you?
Oh, I'm ready.
Well, use it or lose it,
Bucko.
Your big solo's coming up.
Or should I say,
(IN RASPY VOICE)
you big solo's coming up.
We conclude
tonight's concert
with a song
by the fourth grade class.
Our interpretation
of the classic,
Moonlight Bay.
We were sailing along
On Moonlight Bay
We could hear
the voices singing
They seemed to say
"You have stolen my heart
"And gone away"
As we sing our moonlit song
on Moonlight Bay
On Moonlight Bay! ♪
Yes, Gerald! You did it!
That's my boy,
Gerald!
Yeah, buddy.
I always had faith
in you, Gerald.
I stood by you
and believed in you
Gerald, your solo tonight
was inspired.
Uh, time to go, Gerald.
Well, looks like
you pulled this one
out of the fire.
Your voice is a little
different, but you're
still Gerald.
Yup, ain't nothing to it
but to do it.
I just had to be myself.
Hey, guess who I am.
On Moonlight Bay
Or maybe it's like this,
On Moonlight Bay
No, no, guys.
No, it's more like this.
On Moonlight Bay ♪
GERALD: I'm not gonna sing.
On Moonlight Bay
HARVEY: Oh, no. Guys.
SIMMONS: Gerald,
you really nailed
those high notes.
That's my boy, Gerald!
PHOEBE:
Or maybe it's like this.
On Moonlight Bay
HAROLD:
You said it, sister!
STINKY:
On Moonlight Bay
STINKY:
I always had faith
in you, Gerald.
HAROLD:
What's wrong with
your voice, Gerald?
GERALD:
My voice stinks!
STINKY: A freak of nature.
Now there's an idea!
HARVEY: Guys, like this
Oh, it's just
my tonsils, baby
Puttin' me through
those changes, yeah
HAROLD:
That's the bomb.
SIMMONS: That's cool.
We can make that work.