Monarch Of The Glen (2000) s03e03 Episode Script
Series 3, Episode 3
( shutter clicks ) ( shutter clicks ) ( shutter clicking ) Hi.
Uh-huh.
I hope there's no film in that thing.
Nah.
it's digital.
What do you want? You didn't come all the way up here this early just to take some snaps.
This friend of mine from London phoned.
He wants to bring up a fishing party for the weekend.
12 rods.
12? And what are you going to catch? You know this river is fished out.
I'm sorry, Archie, you're going to have to tell him no.
I'll be saying no to £20,000.
I have to think in the long term.
That's my job.
- Yeah, I know.
- 12 is far too many.
A couple of them maybe.
It's not worth it for the estate.
How about nine? - I can live with six.
- Done.
Oh, one last thing.
- Smile.
- ( shutter clicks ) ( theme music playing ) - Got your paper.
- You needn't do that.
No bother.
Thank you.
What are you up to today? Going to work.
What are you up to today? Visiting my Auntie Liz, seeing as I'm here.
Oh, lucky Auntie Liz.
Whose cup is this? - Herself from the office.
- Oh, dear.
I see troubled times ahead for Stella.
Oh, shame! here.
What does mine say? - Oh, Lexie.
- What? This is much more exciting- I see romance.
Love is just about to walk into your life.
- any sign of the post? - ( laughing ) What? Your timing is just way too good.
I have your breakfast all ready for you.
I haven't got time.
Lassie, you'll fade away.
Will you sit down and eat? - I'll take some fruit.
- Fruit! Duncan had a wee hamster, ate more than you do, - will you sit down? - You're as bad as my mom.
- Somebody's got to look after you.
- I really do have to go.
I'll fry up a nice bit of freshly cut salmon for your tea.
Fish fingers will be fine.
You don't have to buy salmon.
You're right there.
Sometimes the wee fishes - just swim up the street and into my fridge.
- ( clears throat ) What? That sounds fine.
I'll see you later.
- I'll come with you.
- I know the way.
Hold on.
I have a wee job for you.
Archie: This is the cover for the welcome pack.
"A sporting weekend to dream of, fishing in one of Scotland's finest salmon rivers under the guidance of an experienced ghillie.
First class home cooking, and accommodation at historic Glenbogle House; transfers to and from the airport.
" Great.
- But? - No, it's excellent.
Good.
nice to know I'm not entirely useless.
Sorry.
Duncan, you're supposed to be working.
While you're here, can I check something? Is there much poaching on the estate? Salmon, I mean.
I don't think so.
Golly keeps it under control.
But there's over seven miles of river.
What is he, superghillie? No.
a small place like this, if somebody was poaching, Golly would know all about it.
- Is there a problem? - Obviously not.
Hey! It's love's young dreamer.
- Have you asked her out yet, Romeo? - No.
- Playing hard to get? - I saw her with Archie- in the office.
Get away.
In the office? Where they work? He was all over her.
Yeah, because they got on so well.
You think I'm being stupid.
But just look at the sort of women that Archie falls for.
- Justine, Katrina- - so Einstein figures that because Stella is brainy and skinny and- gorgeous, funny, sophisticated- no way! Archie would never be so stupid.
Would he? Oh! Yeah, this one should do.
I think this bed's okay.
Only one way to find out.
Archie, can I have a word? In private, please.
This letter, booking the weekend, that says a party of 12? I spoke to Golly and he said he can only take six rods.
We can't afford to turn that sort of business away.
I phoned your friend and told him we'll take all 12.
Now do you want to tell Golly or shall I? If Golly says we can only take six rods, I respect his opinion- this is about generating income for the estate, that means it's my decision.
- You don't understand.
- Yes, I do.
Better than you it would appear.
I'll deal with this.
I thought there was a shortage of fish.
That's why I'm tagging them.
Do you throw back everything that you catch? Sounds like a waste of time to me.
It would if you don't know the first thing about fishing.
Is there something you wanted? Yes.
This fishing weekend that Archie's set up- there'll be 12 people coming.
No Archie and I talked.
We agreed on six.
That was before he spoke to me.
It's gone back to 12, okay? No, it is not okay, actually.
This used to be one of the best salmon rivers in the highlands.
It's been overfished for years.
If we're not careful, there will be no fish left.
But it's still all right for you and Hector to fish and maybe some of your pals that want to make a few bob.
Excuse me? are you accusing me of something? No, I just heard how easy it is to get hold of salmon in Glenbogle.
- That has nothing to do with me.
- Good.
So there's no confusion, from now on, the only people who fish in this river are those who pay to do - and have my permission.
- Hector: I think not.
I've fished this river for 60 years.
I don't intend to stop now.
It's none of your business.
Golly runs the sport.
- Quite.
- Quite.
And I run the estate.
From now on, fishing is banned.
( cat meows ) ( meowing ) ( door shuts ) ( meowing ) ( growls ) That harpy.
That gorgon! That medusa! She has the nerve to tell Hector Naismith MacDonald that he is not permitted to fish in his own river! - Molly! - Finished.
Not if I have anything to do with it.
I shall continue to fish! I meant my Perry Mason.
- What? - It's a wonderful whodunit by Erle Stanley Gardner.
Never heard of him.
You sure he's an earl? Not that sort of earl.
He's an American.
He wrote these books about a lawyer- Perry Mason, and his sidekicks.
Perry always manages to prove that his clients are innocent, despite what the police- - Monty? Rommel? - Hector? I thought we were in agreement about this weekend.
We do- - Golly! - Not now, Duncan.
Stella went behind my back.
Give me a bit of time.
I might be able to find a compromise.
I suppose that's easier than saying no to the lassie.
- Golly, I've got to tell you- - what? Stella: Golly.
I'm sorry, but the lassie insisted.
Morning, Craig.
If you're here for the fish, you're luck's out, I'm afraid.
No, sir.
I'm on duty.
Ms.
Moon says you've been stealing fish.
I'm sure there's a mistake.
Stella: I saw him selling two salmon - to the driver of the grocer's van.
- She means Big Alec.
You don't think it might have been a better idea to sort this out amongst ourselves - rather than going straight to the police? - I did say that.
Stella: Where did you get the salmon from? That's my business.
If you're stealing property from this estate and selling it, that's my business.
This is crazy.
Golly has never stolen anything from the estate.
Then where did you get the salmon from? It's a reasonable question.
I can't answer that and I shouldn't have to.
I took photos of Golly handing over the fish and the van driver paying him £50.
- Come on! - The money's in his pocket.
Golly? You knew about this little arrangement, did you? Nope.
Golly? I thought at least you'd be with me.
I am, but if you could just explain.
Officer: I don't want to arrest you, but you're giving me no choice.
You do what you have to do, Andrew.
I'm sorry.
I've lost my card with the caution on it.
I'll read it to you down at the police house.
Okay.
How am I supposed to run a fishing weekend without Golly? The man's a thief.
Look.
there you go.
Golly doing his bit to save the estate's stock of fish- just after he told me he always throws them back.
What do you plan to do? Take him to court? Sack him? If he's breached his terms of employment, yes, he's sacked.
Have you any idea what kind of trouble that would cause- here and in the village? I'll take that risk.
- You really don't understand how things work around here.
- And you do? How long has Golly been running this little scam right under your nose? Come on.
we've got a weekend to organize.
- Will you not go home, Golly? - Nope.
The thing is, I have to take eileen over to your sister's.
I'm used to my own company.
- But I'm not supposed to leave you.
- Andrew I'm not going anywhere.
If that's what you want.
I'll put the answerphone on.
( door clangs ) - Liz: want an omelet? - No, thank you.
Toast? I'm fine.
- Have I done something wrong? - It's not for me to say.
This is about Golly.
It's out of my hands.
You be careful, my love.
He's well-liked round these parts.
- is there no other way? - No, there isn't.
Not if he's stolen from the estate.
Oh, I'm late.
No Duncan this morning? No.
You know, Golly's been like a second father to the lad.
Yes, I gathered that.
I'll see you.
( hissing ) Oh, no.
If it was up to me, I'd let him go.
He won't even take bail.
- We're talking two salmon here.
- I know.
But someone's been leaning on the superintendent.
If I don't play this by the book, he'll be down on me like a ton of bricks.
How are you? Andrew's looking after me fine.
Lexie made this for you.
- Is there a file in it? - Hm, hard to tell.
Golly, what are we going to do? Seems to me the ball's in your court, son.
Stella is the one pressing charges.
I can talk to her, but if you could explain- I don't need to explain.
I've done nothing wrong.
There's obviously been a misunderstanding, but if I've got nothing to work from- - you saying you don't believe me? - No.
What is this all about? Archie it's about cutting me down to size.
Anyone that might know better than her, she wants out.
- One way or the other.
- That's ridiculous.
Is it? the thing that sticks in my craw is that you're right behind her.
Hang on a minute.
You accuse me of not trusting you, - how about you trusting me? - I'd love to.
But I've just got this sneaky feeling that the one reason you're here is because you need a ghillie for the weekend.
Mmm.
Kilwillie and I are going to fish in the river.
We intend to catch not one or two, but several shoals of salmon.
Badger here will then sell them for extortionist sums to the highest bidder.
And there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop us.
Good morning.
Hi.
How's Golly? Not good.
He hasn't even started your cake yet.
What's wrong with my cake? Let me guess.
You prefer my buns.
You know, if you ever fancy a nibble- I'll head straight for the kitchen.
But in the meantime, we've got a ton of work to do if this weekend's ever going to happen.
So we collect the fishing party at noon in the Land Rover no Land Rover.
Golly's got the keys.
Okay.
And we take the party to the river for lunch- no food.
Big Alec's blacked the estate.
Right.
And then we have an afternoon's fishing, but we have no ghillie.
You'll have to cancel it.
Teach "Cruella de Vil" a lesson.
It's my weekend, and my contacts and me who ends up looking more stupid than ever.
- It really matters to you? - Yeah.
It means that we can show her that we can do something for ourselves.
Some hope.
There's still time.
( door opens ) Hector.
the police- coming.
now! Archie: Stella! - What are you doing, father? - Opposing the forces of tyranny.
The question is, what are you doing? Picking up the pieces, as usual.
Congratulations.
I've been trying to have my father locked up for years, and you've actually done it.
- Yes.
- And now you're calling the police again.
I'm not calling anyone.
The phone's have stopped working.
- Why? - Probably the same reason why my car had four flat tires this morning.
Great.
Just when everything was going so well.
I can't even call my friends to cancel the weekend.
What? There's not much point in them coming now, is there? - We have no food, no transport.
- We can sort that out.
Maybe we can, but we still don't have a ghillie.
- What about Duncan? - He won't do it.
Let's ask him.
Duncan! Yes? I was just passing.
Isn't that lucky? We were just talking about you.
Duncan how would you like to be ghillie? That's Golly's job.
Yes, but he might not be here this weekend.
I don't know much about the fishing side of things- don't put yourself down.
You're always doing that.
I see great things ahead for you.
You're bright and ambitious.
You'll do a great job.
I can't.
Oh, please, Duncan.
As a favor to me.
- Okay.
- Great.
thank you.
Archie: Grab your waders and I'll give you a crash course in fishing.
See? it wasn't that hard.
- Andrew: Will you accept a caution? - Certainly not! We demand to be locked up.
If that's what you want.
- I have to ask you some questions.
- Remember, Kilwillie, name, rank, serial number, and not a word more.
Can I have your name, lord Kilwillie? Kilwillie.
I need your full names.
Angus Errol ( mumbles ) I didn't catch that.
Sharon.
My father was stationed in that particular part of palestine.
- It's a man's name there.
- Good lord.
Sharon.
Address? Kilwillie Castle.
Scotland.
- Do you have the post code? - No.
Telephone my man.
He deals with that sort of thing.
And you, Mr.
MacDonald? Hector Naismith MacDonald.
Glenbogle House.
And I will not reveal the post code, even under torture.
I have it here anyway.
Right, if you'd just empty your pockets and hand over your belts and shoelaces, you too, Mr.
MacDonald.
Both: Really.
You're not going to get yourself arrested too, are you, Archie? No, I'm too busy for that.
( reel whirrs ) What are we going to do about your father? I think he can look after himself.
But he's banged up with the hard men and the tough nuts.
The most awful things happen in choky.
Knife fights, drug smuggling, monkey business in the showers.
Glenbogle Police Station isn't exactly Barlinnie, and it's quite useful having him out of the house at the moment.
I have a plan.
You know Occam's Razor? The simplest solution is usually the best one? I have come across it.
I've found in this house, the opposite usually applies, but with the sword of truth and the trusty shield of justice I will release the Glenbogle Three.
- It might be easier than teaching Duncan how to fish.
- ( glass breaking ) Don't forget, old man, stone walls do not a prison make.
- Actually, old boy, I rather think they do.
- ( exasperated sigh ) What are you doing? I'm trying to make contact with Golly.
He'll remember the old morse code.
Now let's try "hello, Golly.
" - you're looking swell, Golly- - please! This is no laughing matter.
Now, "h" "e" - oh, damn, that's an "a.
" - Hector.
I can hear every word you're saying.
- Can you? - yes.
Excellent.
Just to tell you, we're standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you in your hour of need.
- Me too.
- Don't butt in.
- That's very good of you.
- Thank you very much, Golly.
Here we are.
Communication's established.
Right, this afternoon we need to make up 12 bedrooms, order and collect food for two breakfasts, two lunches, and two suppers.
Clean the reception rooms and restock with drinks.
- Have I missed anything? - You might want to get the phone fixed.
Oh, yes.
someone will have to go to the village.
- You won't get much help there.
- But you could.
No, it's my afternoon off.
- Hold on.
I need you here.
- tough.
I can only run this place with a bit of give and take.
You should have thought of that before you had Golly arrested.
You're on your own, hen.
What are the most likely lies? That the ghillie's been taken ill? No, you're the ghillie.
Lies are where you find the fish.
You look at the head of the pool, either side of the current, upstream of any rocks or obstacles, and in the draw of the pool.
you got that? - Yeah.
- Good.
That is- no.
Right.
Let's start again at the very beginning.
I'm supposed to be at rather an important meeting this afternoon.
Chap from Tokyo.
He's very big in sushi franchise.
He wants a round of golf at the club.
What am I to do? Cheer up, old man.
There must be a way out of here somehow.
What? You mean escape? Yes.
We could build a tunnel.
You know the drill- vaulting horse, sand down the trouser leg, bob's your uncle.
Which of us would get to do the vaulting? - I'm not sure my hip's up to it.
- Oh, poor old thing.
We could disguise ourselves, as Gestapo officers.
We might stand out a bit in Glenbogle.
True, true.
We could always build a glider.
- Are those the keys there? - good lord.
You're a positive Houdini, Kilwillie.
- Bye, Al.
- bye, Liz.
Ooh, miss! - I want the word on the street.
- The word on the street? - Hot fish.
have you heard any whispers? - Hot fish? Don't think so.
Never mind.
I've been doing rather well.
- But I need to shoot the breeze with the filth.
- I'm sorry? The pigs.
The Glenbogle P.
D.
- oh! must go.
Got a hot lead to follow.
Down these mean streets and all that.
- Oh! well done.
- Landing net.
Yes, yes.
There, there.
Steady, steady.
Don't panic.
- argh! - Damn.
Got away.
Which is more than we're likely to.
Ha! You dropped these.
How did you do that? Andrew never locks the cells.
- Then we're free.
- What happened to standing shoulder-to-shoulder? - I think we've made our point.
- And I appreciate it.
But there's no need for you to stay now.
- Of course we'll stay.
- This is my fight, Hector.
Not yours.
Nonsense.
all for one, and one for all.
What about my golf? Who's side are you on? Golly's or the boche? ( grunting ) Oh, god.
How's our new ghillie? See for yourself.
Try again, Duncan.
( grunts ) How long have we got? Hmm, about 18 hours.
We'll just have to keep at it and hope that nothing else goes wrong.
( explosion ) - What the hell was that? - Poachers.
Are you sure this is the right place? Salmon don't usually leap this high.
There they are.
Hey! No, no.
let me.
You! stop! You've had it now! Just leave it, mate! I've got you, pal! Duncan! - They got away.
- No kidding.
( reel whirrs ) ( door opens ) Stella: Thank heaven we're back.
I'm dying for a cup of tea.
( water dripping ) This place is completely impossible.
Yes, it is impossible.
And uncomfortable, out of date, uneconomic.
But then you fall in love with it.
I'm here to do a job, not fall in love.
Running Glenbogle isn't just a job.
There's something special here.
A way of life that's been developed over the centuries.
It's organic.
You have to work with the grain, not cut across it.
Which is just a fancy way of asking me to change my mind about Golly and Hector.
You won't win in court tomorrow.
Stewart Usher, the sheriff, he's an old friend of the family's.
My father could rape and pillage his way across the highlands, and old Stewart would still find there was no case to answer.
Hooray for the old school tie.
The same goes for Golly and Kilwillie.
How about it? Drop the charges.
Let Golly get back to the river before there are no salmon left to save.
No, if I do that, that's me finished.
I'm not giving in to blackmail.
If you want to look stupid in court tomorrow, that's fine by me.
Go ahead.
Let's just talk about tomorrow, shall we? There's no food, probably no fish, and with Duncan as ghillie, you've got the clown prince of the gamekeeping world.
I'd be a damn sight more worried about that if I were you, pal! ( knocking ) - Can I have a word? - Yeah, sure.
It's very awkward for me, you staying here.
I'm sorry.
My neighbors, my friends, they're Golly's friends, too.
It's like I'm letting them down.
You see what I'm saying? You want me to leave.
Yes.
Right now? Oh, no.
But tomorrow.
If that's what you want.
I'm sorry, Stella.
I really am.
But you've given me no choice.
There's nothing more to say then, is there? Good night.
Good night.
Lex, I'm not in the mood for all this.
Keep your eyes closed.
You can open your eyes- ta-da! - Where did this come from? - Well, here and there.
- How did you get it? - I sold my body.
That sort of thing.
Why? Why do you think? For you.
Thanks, Lex.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
I won't forget this.
Who fixed the tires? Duncan did it yesterday.
Well, I'll be off then.
Where will you go? I'll find somewhere.
- This week's rent.
- That's far too much.
I don't want you to lose out because of all this.
Thank you for looking after me.
You really made me feel at home.
You take care of yourself, eh? I will.
Have you seen Duncan? Nope.
sorry.
I need him to help with my inquiries.
- He could be the missing link.
- Well, he's definitely missing.
I want the lowdown, the inside track, some info about Golly.
I'm relying on him.
Mother I'll find Duncan.
We'll see you in court.
( Jeffries speaking ) " Lascelles Bank versus MacDonald, Kilwillie and MacKenzie.
" What's the plan of action? There is no plan.
Oh.
I don't think I can manage another night in that bottom bunk.
- It's absolute purgatory for the back.
- Don't worry, Kilwillie.
Stewart usher will have us released in no time.
- No, he won't.
- Why on earth not? Stewart's not sitting today.
Last minute change.
Skullduggery in the chamber, I bet.
Who have we got instead? - Phillip Jeffries.
- Never heard of him.
Here's his entry in "Who's Who.
" Hector: Let's have a look.
Where is he? Grammar school boy.
He's a member of the vegetarian society.
Scots nationalist? And a former legal adviser to Lascelles Bank.
- I smell a rat.
- Hector: nil desperandum.
Our advocate will make mincemeat of these trumped-up charges.
- Who is our advocate? - Me, of course.
How do the defendants plead in answer to the charge? Not guilty.
Not guilty, and proud of it.
Not guilty.
( knocking ) Duncan! Do you have any further questions for this witness, Mrs.
MacDonald? Ahem what possible good can the prosecution of these three men do? I'm employed by Lascelles Bank, the current owner of all the assets of the Glenbogle estate.
Dunc? What are you doing? We need you.
Me? I thought I was "the clown prince of gamekeeping.
" Oh, you heard that.
What Stella said, it wasn't fair.
It was in the heat of the moment at the end of a very hard day.
( sighs ) That's what she thinks of me.
I was stupid enough to think she might take me seriously and I let Golly down because of it.
No, this is all down to me.
I thought you could do a job it takes a lifetime to learn.
That's not what I'm saying.
I let Golly down.
He's locked up because of me.
This is all my fault.
There is a way you can help him.
Do you wish to call any more witnesses, Mrs.
MacDonald? Could we have an abscess? - ( scattered laughter ) - Do you mean a recess? Yes.
I was hoping that there might be one last piece of the defense jigsaw.
- Is the witness here? - Not entirely.
We've spent enough time on this matter already.
Oh, dear.
If there's no further evidence, we can wrap it up without further ado- oh, wait.
He's here.
Would you take the stand, dear? Have you got any idea what's going on? Not the foggiest.
" will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
" There's something you want to tell us, dear? The fish that Golly sold to Big Alec he got them from me.
- You caught them, dear? - Mrs.
MacDonald- you must not call the witness "dear.
" Sorry, dear.
You were saying? My auntie Liz, - she gave me the fish.
- Did she catch them? No.
Mr.
Badger, that works at Kilwillie House, he's soft on my auntie Liz.
Badger? Molly: So, he gives her fish? - I think that's lovely.
- she says "he doesn't say it with flowers, he says it with fish.
" Why couldn't Golly have told us this? Because if Lord Kilwillie found out that Badger was taking all those fish, he'd lose his job.
And then there's Mrs.
Badger.
Does he give her fish, too? No- that's the problem.
Oh- so Golly was just doing your aunt a favor? Yeah.
he knew that she was strapped for cash.
He was just helping her out.
He'd never let her- he'd never let anybody down.
Ms.
McSweeney? Do you wish to cross-examine? No questions.
Do you propose to call any more witnesses, Mrs.
MacDonald? Yes, I'd like to recall Golly.
Jeffries: You're still under oath.
My husband and Kilwillie, how would you rate them as fishermen? Rate them? er well, they both over the years have had a lot of practice.
By which you mean, they're pretty hopeless? Golly: No, no what I would say is that they give the salmon a sporting chance.
According to Stella Moon, my husband and Kilwillie went to the river and caught two salmon in 20 minutes.
Do you find that surprising? Yes, a little.
As far as I know, neither gentleman has caught a single salmon in the last five years.
Molly: Can I ask you to look at exhibit b? Molly: According to Stella Moon, these are the salmon that my husband and Kilwillie caught in the Glenbogle river.
Do you have any reason to doubt that? These are farmed salmon.
You can tell by the tails.
Is it possible that Hector and Kilwillie could have purchased the salmon from Big Alec's shop, and then pretended that they'd caught them? I don't know about that, but these they've still got the bar code on them.
Molly: I rest my case.
Jeffries: Thank you, Mrs.
MacDonald.
Ms.
McSweeney? No further questions.
I dismiss all charges in this case.
( applause, cheers ) Quiet! I should not let this moment pass without a word to the prime mover in this case- Ms.
Moon.
I take great exception to this kind of petty and vexatious litigation.
You have wasted the court's time, and made yourself look thoroughly foolish in the process.
I would advise you in the strongest possible terms, not to do it again.
This court is adjourned.
Hector: It wasn't my salmon being poached, - it was yours, Kilwillie.
- I had rather gathered that.
Molly: Now, Kilwillie, go easy on Badger.
I will, but I can't vouch for Mrs.
Badger.
- No hard feelings, I hope? - I don't know, my dear.
My good name's been sullied, dragged through the mire.
But you were found not guilty.
Yes, and now it's public knowledge that I haven't caught a salmon in years.
What about me? Stella? Hay fever.
That would be the heather.
Here.
Thank you.
Better? I should think I'll get over it.
Have you come to put the boot in? No, it's not my style.
No, it isn't, is it? Lots of people would have.
I should have listened to you, Archie.
I am so sorry.
I just thought I was doing the right thing.
And look where it got me- humiliated and homeless.
Yeah, I heard that you and Liz had parted company.
Where are you going to go? You're not going to leave us, are you? We've got a long way to go yet.
Well, I thought about it, but I don't give up that easily.
It's not my style.
( Stella laughs ) I'm just moving house.
Where to? Good question.
Hector: We met the barbarian at the gate, and put it aflight.
A toast to independence day.
All: Independence day.
And Molly, old girl, didn't know you had it in you.
All that legal mumbo-jumbo? Oh, that was Perry Mason.
But never mind about me.
The real hero of the day was Duncan.
There you are.
Been waiting on you.
Let me take a photograph of the two of you.
Lexie, I hear you've been doing heroic work getting things ready for our guests.
- Happy? - Yeah.
So are we going to celebrate? That's what we're doing.
I could think of better ways.
Look, Lex, this is a working day.
Could you make up another room, please? I think the one is the blue corridor is free.
This house is taking in more paying guests than a Parisian knocking-shop on Bastille Day.
This isn't a paying guest.
Then, who is it, if it's not- hi.
( sighs ) Do your predictions usually come true? About half of them, I'd say.
Trouble is, I have no idea which half it will be.
I've got a faint idea.
Coffee? That woman threw me into jail, now you invite her to live with us.
Have you taken leave of your senses? Stella has come to help save Glenbogle.
We might not like her style or her way of doing things, but she's the only chance we've got.
Either we help her or we can say goodbye to our home forever.
- That might be a price worth paying.
- You don't mean that.
Don't I? for centuries, we MacDonalds have fought against the invaders and put them to flight.
Not now, though.
Not a bit of it.
Hundreds of years of proud tradition thrown out the window.
There is also a highland tradition of treating visitors with courtesy and good manners.
At least we owe that to Stella.
- Oh, really-! - Can I join you? Oh yes, of course.
We were just going in to dinner.
It's good to have you back, Golly.
( bagpipe playing ) She's so so out of your league? ( sighs ) Join the club.
Come on.
Do I know these people? They're here for the fishing.
Oh.
I suppose you're going to have them locked up? If the one in the red dicky bow plays footsie with me one more time, I'll do more than lock him up.
Ah I recommend the claymore hanging in the hall.
That's if he survives the food, of course.
Ah, Lexie! - Can I serve you, madam? - Yes, please.
what is it? It's your favorite poached salmon.
( theme music playing )
Uh-huh.
I hope there's no film in that thing.
Nah.
it's digital.
What do you want? You didn't come all the way up here this early just to take some snaps.
This friend of mine from London phoned.
He wants to bring up a fishing party for the weekend.
12 rods.
12? And what are you going to catch? You know this river is fished out.
I'm sorry, Archie, you're going to have to tell him no.
I'll be saying no to £20,000.
I have to think in the long term.
That's my job.
- Yeah, I know.
- 12 is far too many.
A couple of them maybe.
It's not worth it for the estate.
How about nine? - I can live with six.
- Done.
Oh, one last thing.
- Smile.
- ( shutter clicks ) ( theme music playing ) - Got your paper.
- You needn't do that.
No bother.
Thank you.
What are you up to today? Going to work.
What are you up to today? Visiting my Auntie Liz, seeing as I'm here.
Oh, lucky Auntie Liz.
Whose cup is this? - Herself from the office.
- Oh, dear.
I see troubled times ahead for Stella.
Oh, shame! here.
What does mine say? - Oh, Lexie.
- What? This is much more exciting- I see romance.
Love is just about to walk into your life.
- any sign of the post? - ( laughing ) What? Your timing is just way too good.
I have your breakfast all ready for you.
I haven't got time.
Lassie, you'll fade away.
Will you sit down and eat? - I'll take some fruit.
- Fruit! Duncan had a wee hamster, ate more than you do, - will you sit down? - You're as bad as my mom.
- Somebody's got to look after you.
- I really do have to go.
I'll fry up a nice bit of freshly cut salmon for your tea.
Fish fingers will be fine.
You don't have to buy salmon.
You're right there.
Sometimes the wee fishes - just swim up the street and into my fridge.
- ( clears throat ) What? That sounds fine.
I'll see you later.
- I'll come with you.
- I know the way.
Hold on.
I have a wee job for you.
Archie: This is the cover for the welcome pack.
"A sporting weekend to dream of, fishing in one of Scotland's finest salmon rivers under the guidance of an experienced ghillie.
First class home cooking, and accommodation at historic Glenbogle House; transfers to and from the airport.
" Great.
- But? - No, it's excellent.
Good.
nice to know I'm not entirely useless.
Sorry.
Duncan, you're supposed to be working.
While you're here, can I check something? Is there much poaching on the estate? Salmon, I mean.
I don't think so.
Golly keeps it under control.
But there's over seven miles of river.
What is he, superghillie? No.
a small place like this, if somebody was poaching, Golly would know all about it.
- Is there a problem? - Obviously not.
Hey! It's love's young dreamer.
- Have you asked her out yet, Romeo? - No.
- Playing hard to get? - I saw her with Archie- in the office.
Get away.
In the office? Where they work? He was all over her.
Yeah, because they got on so well.
You think I'm being stupid.
But just look at the sort of women that Archie falls for.
- Justine, Katrina- - so Einstein figures that because Stella is brainy and skinny and- gorgeous, funny, sophisticated- no way! Archie would never be so stupid.
Would he? Oh! Yeah, this one should do.
I think this bed's okay.
Only one way to find out.
Archie, can I have a word? In private, please.
This letter, booking the weekend, that says a party of 12? I spoke to Golly and he said he can only take six rods.
We can't afford to turn that sort of business away.
I phoned your friend and told him we'll take all 12.
Now do you want to tell Golly or shall I? If Golly says we can only take six rods, I respect his opinion- this is about generating income for the estate, that means it's my decision.
- You don't understand.
- Yes, I do.
Better than you it would appear.
I'll deal with this.
I thought there was a shortage of fish.
That's why I'm tagging them.
Do you throw back everything that you catch? Sounds like a waste of time to me.
It would if you don't know the first thing about fishing.
Is there something you wanted? Yes.
This fishing weekend that Archie's set up- there'll be 12 people coming.
No Archie and I talked.
We agreed on six.
That was before he spoke to me.
It's gone back to 12, okay? No, it is not okay, actually.
This used to be one of the best salmon rivers in the highlands.
It's been overfished for years.
If we're not careful, there will be no fish left.
But it's still all right for you and Hector to fish and maybe some of your pals that want to make a few bob.
Excuse me? are you accusing me of something? No, I just heard how easy it is to get hold of salmon in Glenbogle.
- That has nothing to do with me.
- Good.
So there's no confusion, from now on, the only people who fish in this river are those who pay to do - and have my permission.
- Hector: I think not.
I've fished this river for 60 years.
I don't intend to stop now.
It's none of your business.
Golly runs the sport.
- Quite.
- Quite.
And I run the estate.
From now on, fishing is banned.
( cat meows ) ( meowing ) ( door shuts ) ( meowing ) ( growls ) That harpy.
That gorgon! That medusa! She has the nerve to tell Hector Naismith MacDonald that he is not permitted to fish in his own river! - Molly! - Finished.
Not if I have anything to do with it.
I shall continue to fish! I meant my Perry Mason.
- What? - It's a wonderful whodunit by Erle Stanley Gardner.
Never heard of him.
You sure he's an earl? Not that sort of earl.
He's an American.
He wrote these books about a lawyer- Perry Mason, and his sidekicks.
Perry always manages to prove that his clients are innocent, despite what the police- - Monty? Rommel? - Hector? I thought we were in agreement about this weekend.
We do- - Golly! - Not now, Duncan.
Stella went behind my back.
Give me a bit of time.
I might be able to find a compromise.
I suppose that's easier than saying no to the lassie.
- Golly, I've got to tell you- - what? Stella: Golly.
I'm sorry, but the lassie insisted.
Morning, Craig.
If you're here for the fish, you're luck's out, I'm afraid.
No, sir.
I'm on duty.
Ms.
Moon says you've been stealing fish.
I'm sure there's a mistake.
Stella: I saw him selling two salmon - to the driver of the grocer's van.
- She means Big Alec.
You don't think it might have been a better idea to sort this out amongst ourselves - rather than going straight to the police? - I did say that.
Stella: Where did you get the salmon from? That's my business.
If you're stealing property from this estate and selling it, that's my business.
This is crazy.
Golly has never stolen anything from the estate.
Then where did you get the salmon from? It's a reasonable question.
I can't answer that and I shouldn't have to.
I took photos of Golly handing over the fish and the van driver paying him £50.
- Come on! - The money's in his pocket.
Golly? You knew about this little arrangement, did you? Nope.
Golly? I thought at least you'd be with me.
I am, but if you could just explain.
Officer: I don't want to arrest you, but you're giving me no choice.
You do what you have to do, Andrew.
I'm sorry.
I've lost my card with the caution on it.
I'll read it to you down at the police house.
Okay.
How am I supposed to run a fishing weekend without Golly? The man's a thief.
Look.
there you go.
Golly doing his bit to save the estate's stock of fish- just after he told me he always throws them back.
What do you plan to do? Take him to court? Sack him? If he's breached his terms of employment, yes, he's sacked.
Have you any idea what kind of trouble that would cause- here and in the village? I'll take that risk.
- You really don't understand how things work around here.
- And you do? How long has Golly been running this little scam right under your nose? Come on.
we've got a weekend to organize.
- Will you not go home, Golly? - Nope.
The thing is, I have to take eileen over to your sister's.
I'm used to my own company.
- But I'm not supposed to leave you.
- Andrew I'm not going anywhere.
If that's what you want.
I'll put the answerphone on.
( door clangs ) - Liz: want an omelet? - No, thank you.
Toast? I'm fine.
- Have I done something wrong? - It's not for me to say.
This is about Golly.
It's out of my hands.
You be careful, my love.
He's well-liked round these parts.
- is there no other way? - No, there isn't.
Not if he's stolen from the estate.
Oh, I'm late.
No Duncan this morning? No.
You know, Golly's been like a second father to the lad.
Yes, I gathered that.
I'll see you.
( hissing ) Oh, no.
If it was up to me, I'd let him go.
He won't even take bail.
- We're talking two salmon here.
- I know.
But someone's been leaning on the superintendent.
If I don't play this by the book, he'll be down on me like a ton of bricks.
How are you? Andrew's looking after me fine.
Lexie made this for you.
- Is there a file in it? - Hm, hard to tell.
Golly, what are we going to do? Seems to me the ball's in your court, son.
Stella is the one pressing charges.
I can talk to her, but if you could explain- I don't need to explain.
I've done nothing wrong.
There's obviously been a misunderstanding, but if I've got nothing to work from- - you saying you don't believe me? - No.
What is this all about? Archie it's about cutting me down to size.
Anyone that might know better than her, she wants out.
- One way or the other.
- That's ridiculous.
Is it? the thing that sticks in my craw is that you're right behind her.
Hang on a minute.
You accuse me of not trusting you, - how about you trusting me? - I'd love to.
But I've just got this sneaky feeling that the one reason you're here is because you need a ghillie for the weekend.
Mmm.
Kilwillie and I are going to fish in the river.
We intend to catch not one or two, but several shoals of salmon.
Badger here will then sell them for extortionist sums to the highest bidder.
And there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop us.
Good morning.
Hi.
How's Golly? Not good.
He hasn't even started your cake yet.
What's wrong with my cake? Let me guess.
You prefer my buns.
You know, if you ever fancy a nibble- I'll head straight for the kitchen.
But in the meantime, we've got a ton of work to do if this weekend's ever going to happen.
So we collect the fishing party at noon in the Land Rover no Land Rover.
Golly's got the keys.
Okay.
And we take the party to the river for lunch- no food.
Big Alec's blacked the estate.
Right.
And then we have an afternoon's fishing, but we have no ghillie.
You'll have to cancel it.
Teach "Cruella de Vil" a lesson.
It's my weekend, and my contacts and me who ends up looking more stupid than ever.
- It really matters to you? - Yeah.
It means that we can show her that we can do something for ourselves.
Some hope.
There's still time.
( door opens ) Hector.
the police- coming.
now! Archie: Stella! - What are you doing, father? - Opposing the forces of tyranny.
The question is, what are you doing? Picking up the pieces, as usual.
Congratulations.
I've been trying to have my father locked up for years, and you've actually done it.
- Yes.
- And now you're calling the police again.
I'm not calling anyone.
The phone's have stopped working.
- Why? - Probably the same reason why my car had four flat tires this morning.
Great.
Just when everything was going so well.
I can't even call my friends to cancel the weekend.
What? There's not much point in them coming now, is there? - We have no food, no transport.
- We can sort that out.
Maybe we can, but we still don't have a ghillie.
- What about Duncan? - He won't do it.
Let's ask him.
Duncan! Yes? I was just passing.
Isn't that lucky? We were just talking about you.
Duncan how would you like to be ghillie? That's Golly's job.
Yes, but he might not be here this weekend.
I don't know much about the fishing side of things- don't put yourself down.
You're always doing that.
I see great things ahead for you.
You're bright and ambitious.
You'll do a great job.
I can't.
Oh, please, Duncan.
As a favor to me.
- Okay.
- Great.
thank you.
Archie: Grab your waders and I'll give you a crash course in fishing.
See? it wasn't that hard.
- Andrew: Will you accept a caution? - Certainly not! We demand to be locked up.
If that's what you want.
- I have to ask you some questions.
- Remember, Kilwillie, name, rank, serial number, and not a word more.
Can I have your name, lord Kilwillie? Kilwillie.
I need your full names.
Angus Errol ( mumbles ) I didn't catch that.
Sharon.
My father was stationed in that particular part of palestine.
- It's a man's name there.
- Good lord.
Sharon.
Address? Kilwillie Castle.
Scotland.
- Do you have the post code? - No.
Telephone my man.
He deals with that sort of thing.
And you, Mr.
MacDonald? Hector Naismith MacDonald.
Glenbogle House.
And I will not reveal the post code, even under torture.
I have it here anyway.
Right, if you'd just empty your pockets and hand over your belts and shoelaces, you too, Mr.
MacDonald.
Both: Really.
You're not going to get yourself arrested too, are you, Archie? No, I'm too busy for that.
( reel whirrs ) What are we going to do about your father? I think he can look after himself.
But he's banged up with the hard men and the tough nuts.
The most awful things happen in choky.
Knife fights, drug smuggling, monkey business in the showers.
Glenbogle Police Station isn't exactly Barlinnie, and it's quite useful having him out of the house at the moment.
I have a plan.
You know Occam's Razor? The simplest solution is usually the best one? I have come across it.
I've found in this house, the opposite usually applies, but with the sword of truth and the trusty shield of justice I will release the Glenbogle Three.
- It might be easier than teaching Duncan how to fish.
- ( glass breaking ) Don't forget, old man, stone walls do not a prison make.
- Actually, old boy, I rather think they do.
- ( exasperated sigh ) What are you doing? I'm trying to make contact with Golly.
He'll remember the old morse code.
Now let's try "hello, Golly.
" - you're looking swell, Golly- - please! This is no laughing matter.
Now, "h" "e" - oh, damn, that's an "a.
" - Hector.
I can hear every word you're saying.
- Can you? - yes.
Excellent.
Just to tell you, we're standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you in your hour of need.
- Me too.
- Don't butt in.
- That's very good of you.
- Thank you very much, Golly.
Here we are.
Communication's established.
Right, this afternoon we need to make up 12 bedrooms, order and collect food for two breakfasts, two lunches, and two suppers.
Clean the reception rooms and restock with drinks.
- Have I missed anything? - You might want to get the phone fixed.
Oh, yes.
someone will have to go to the village.
- You won't get much help there.
- But you could.
No, it's my afternoon off.
- Hold on.
I need you here.
- tough.
I can only run this place with a bit of give and take.
You should have thought of that before you had Golly arrested.
You're on your own, hen.
What are the most likely lies? That the ghillie's been taken ill? No, you're the ghillie.
Lies are where you find the fish.
You look at the head of the pool, either side of the current, upstream of any rocks or obstacles, and in the draw of the pool.
you got that? - Yeah.
- Good.
That is- no.
Right.
Let's start again at the very beginning.
I'm supposed to be at rather an important meeting this afternoon.
Chap from Tokyo.
He's very big in sushi franchise.
He wants a round of golf at the club.
What am I to do? Cheer up, old man.
There must be a way out of here somehow.
What? You mean escape? Yes.
We could build a tunnel.
You know the drill- vaulting horse, sand down the trouser leg, bob's your uncle.
Which of us would get to do the vaulting? - I'm not sure my hip's up to it.
- Oh, poor old thing.
We could disguise ourselves, as Gestapo officers.
We might stand out a bit in Glenbogle.
True, true.
We could always build a glider.
- Are those the keys there? - good lord.
You're a positive Houdini, Kilwillie.
- Bye, Al.
- bye, Liz.
Ooh, miss! - I want the word on the street.
- The word on the street? - Hot fish.
have you heard any whispers? - Hot fish? Don't think so.
Never mind.
I've been doing rather well.
- But I need to shoot the breeze with the filth.
- I'm sorry? The pigs.
The Glenbogle P.
D.
- oh! must go.
Got a hot lead to follow.
Down these mean streets and all that.
- Oh! well done.
- Landing net.
Yes, yes.
There, there.
Steady, steady.
Don't panic.
- argh! - Damn.
Got away.
Which is more than we're likely to.
Ha! You dropped these.
How did you do that? Andrew never locks the cells.
- Then we're free.
- What happened to standing shoulder-to-shoulder? - I think we've made our point.
- And I appreciate it.
But there's no need for you to stay now.
- Of course we'll stay.
- This is my fight, Hector.
Not yours.
Nonsense.
all for one, and one for all.
What about my golf? Who's side are you on? Golly's or the boche? ( grunting ) Oh, god.
How's our new ghillie? See for yourself.
Try again, Duncan.
( grunts ) How long have we got? Hmm, about 18 hours.
We'll just have to keep at it and hope that nothing else goes wrong.
( explosion ) - What the hell was that? - Poachers.
Are you sure this is the right place? Salmon don't usually leap this high.
There they are.
Hey! No, no.
let me.
You! stop! You've had it now! Just leave it, mate! I've got you, pal! Duncan! - They got away.
- No kidding.
( reel whirrs ) ( door opens ) Stella: Thank heaven we're back.
I'm dying for a cup of tea.
( water dripping ) This place is completely impossible.
Yes, it is impossible.
And uncomfortable, out of date, uneconomic.
But then you fall in love with it.
I'm here to do a job, not fall in love.
Running Glenbogle isn't just a job.
There's something special here.
A way of life that's been developed over the centuries.
It's organic.
You have to work with the grain, not cut across it.
Which is just a fancy way of asking me to change my mind about Golly and Hector.
You won't win in court tomorrow.
Stewart Usher, the sheriff, he's an old friend of the family's.
My father could rape and pillage his way across the highlands, and old Stewart would still find there was no case to answer.
Hooray for the old school tie.
The same goes for Golly and Kilwillie.
How about it? Drop the charges.
Let Golly get back to the river before there are no salmon left to save.
No, if I do that, that's me finished.
I'm not giving in to blackmail.
If you want to look stupid in court tomorrow, that's fine by me.
Go ahead.
Let's just talk about tomorrow, shall we? There's no food, probably no fish, and with Duncan as ghillie, you've got the clown prince of the gamekeeping world.
I'd be a damn sight more worried about that if I were you, pal! ( knocking ) - Can I have a word? - Yeah, sure.
It's very awkward for me, you staying here.
I'm sorry.
My neighbors, my friends, they're Golly's friends, too.
It's like I'm letting them down.
You see what I'm saying? You want me to leave.
Yes.
Right now? Oh, no.
But tomorrow.
If that's what you want.
I'm sorry, Stella.
I really am.
But you've given me no choice.
There's nothing more to say then, is there? Good night.
Good night.
Lex, I'm not in the mood for all this.
Keep your eyes closed.
You can open your eyes- ta-da! - Where did this come from? - Well, here and there.
- How did you get it? - I sold my body.
That sort of thing.
Why? Why do you think? For you.
Thanks, Lex.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
I won't forget this.
Who fixed the tires? Duncan did it yesterday.
Well, I'll be off then.
Where will you go? I'll find somewhere.
- This week's rent.
- That's far too much.
I don't want you to lose out because of all this.
Thank you for looking after me.
You really made me feel at home.
You take care of yourself, eh? I will.
Have you seen Duncan? Nope.
sorry.
I need him to help with my inquiries.
- He could be the missing link.
- Well, he's definitely missing.
I want the lowdown, the inside track, some info about Golly.
I'm relying on him.
Mother I'll find Duncan.
We'll see you in court.
( Jeffries speaking ) " Lascelles Bank versus MacDonald, Kilwillie and MacKenzie.
" What's the plan of action? There is no plan.
Oh.
I don't think I can manage another night in that bottom bunk.
- It's absolute purgatory for the back.
- Don't worry, Kilwillie.
Stewart usher will have us released in no time.
- No, he won't.
- Why on earth not? Stewart's not sitting today.
Last minute change.
Skullduggery in the chamber, I bet.
Who have we got instead? - Phillip Jeffries.
- Never heard of him.
Here's his entry in "Who's Who.
" Hector: Let's have a look.
Where is he? Grammar school boy.
He's a member of the vegetarian society.
Scots nationalist? And a former legal adviser to Lascelles Bank.
- I smell a rat.
- Hector: nil desperandum.
Our advocate will make mincemeat of these trumped-up charges.
- Who is our advocate? - Me, of course.
How do the defendants plead in answer to the charge? Not guilty.
Not guilty, and proud of it.
Not guilty.
( knocking ) Duncan! Do you have any further questions for this witness, Mrs.
MacDonald? Ahem what possible good can the prosecution of these three men do? I'm employed by Lascelles Bank, the current owner of all the assets of the Glenbogle estate.
Dunc? What are you doing? We need you.
Me? I thought I was "the clown prince of gamekeeping.
" Oh, you heard that.
What Stella said, it wasn't fair.
It was in the heat of the moment at the end of a very hard day.
( sighs ) That's what she thinks of me.
I was stupid enough to think she might take me seriously and I let Golly down because of it.
No, this is all down to me.
I thought you could do a job it takes a lifetime to learn.
That's not what I'm saying.
I let Golly down.
He's locked up because of me.
This is all my fault.
There is a way you can help him.
Do you wish to call any more witnesses, Mrs.
MacDonald? Could we have an abscess? - ( scattered laughter ) - Do you mean a recess? Yes.
I was hoping that there might be one last piece of the defense jigsaw.
- Is the witness here? - Not entirely.
We've spent enough time on this matter already.
Oh, dear.
If there's no further evidence, we can wrap it up without further ado- oh, wait.
He's here.
Would you take the stand, dear? Have you got any idea what's going on? Not the foggiest.
" will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
" There's something you want to tell us, dear? The fish that Golly sold to Big Alec he got them from me.
- You caught them, dear? - Mrs.
MacDonald- you must not call the witness "dear.
" Sorry, dear.
You were saying? My auntie Liz, - she gave me the fish.
- Did she catch them? No.
Mr.
Badger, that works at Kilwillie House, he's soft on my auntie Liz.
Badger? Molly: So, he gives her fish? - I think that's lovely.
- she says "he doesn't say it with flowers, he says it with fish.
" Why couldn't Golly have told us this? Because if Lord Kilwillie found out that Badger was taking all those fish, he'd lose his job.
And then there's Mrs.
Badger.
Does he give her fish, too? No- that's the problem.
Oh- so Golly was just doing your aunt a favor? Yeah.
he knew that she was strapped for cash.
He was just helping her out.
He'd never let her- he'd never let anybody down.
Ms.
McSweeney? Do you wish to cross-examine? No questions.
Do you propose to call any more witnesses, Mrs.
MacDonald? Yes, I'd like to recall Golly.
Jeffries: You're still under oath.
My husband and Kilwillie, how would you rate them as fishermen? Rate them? er well, they both over the years have had a lot of practice.
By which you mean, they're pretty hopeless? Golly: No, no what I would say is that they give the salmon a sporting chance.
According to Stella Moon, my husband and Kilwillie went to the river and caught two salmon in 20 minutes.
Do you find that surprising? Yes, a little.
As far as I know, neither gentleman has caught a single salmon in the last five years.
Molly: Can I ask you to look at exhibit b? Molly: According to Stella Moon, these are the salmon that my husband and Kilwillie caught in the Glenbogle river.
Do you have any reason to doubt that? These are farmed salmon.
You can tell by the tails.
Is it possible that Hector and Kilwillie could have purchased the salmon from Big Alec's shop, and then pretended that they'd caught them? I don't know about that, but these they've still got the bar code on them.
Molly: I rest my case.
Jeffries: Thank you, Mrs.
MacDonald.
Ms.
McSweeney? No further questions.
I dismiss all charges in this case.
( applause, cheers ) Quiet! I should not let this moment pass without a word to the prime mover in this case- Ms.
Moon.
I take great exception to this kind of petty and vexatious litigation.
You have wasted the court's time, and made yourself look thoroughly foolish in the process.
I would advise you in the strongest possible terms, not to do it again.
This court is adjourned.
Hector: It wasn't my salmon being poached, - it was yours, Kilwillie.
- I had rather gathered that.
Molly: Now, Kilwillie, go easy on Badger.
I will, but I can't vouch for Mrs.
Badger.
- No hard feelings, I hope? - I don't know, my dear.
My good name's been sullied, dragged through the mire.
But you were found not guilty.
Yes, and now it's public knowledge that I haven't caught a salmon in years.
What about me? Stella? Hay fever.
That would be the heather.
Here.
Thank you.
Better? I should think I'll get over it.
Have you come to put the boot in? No, it's not my style.
No, it isn't, is it? Lots of people would have.
I should have listened to you, Archie.
I am so sorry.
I just thought I was doing the right thing.
And look where it got me- humiliated and homeless.
Yeah, I heard that you and Liz had parted company.
Where are you going to go? You're not going to leave us, are you? We've got a long way to go yet.
Well, I thought about it, but I don't give up that easily.
It's not my style.
( Stella laughs ) I'm just moving house.
Where to? Good question.
Hector: We met the barbarian at the gate, and put it aflight.
A toast to independence day.
All: Independence day.
And Molly, old girl, didn't know you had it in you.
All that legal mumbo-jumbo? Oh, that was Perry Mason.
But never mind about me.
The real hero of the day was Duncan.
There you are.
Been waiting on you.
Let me take a photograph of the two of you.
Lexie, I hear you've been doing heroic work getting things ready for our guests.
- Happy? - Yeah.
So are we going to celebrate? That's what we're doing.
I could think of better ways.
Look, Lex, this is a working day.
Could you make up another room, please? I think the one is the blue corridor is free.
This house is taking in more paying guests than a Parisian knocking-shop on Bastille Day.
This isn't a paying guest.
Then, who is it, if it's not- hi.
( sighs ) Do your predictions usually come true? About half of them, I'd say.
Trouble is, I have no idea which half it will be.
I've got a faint idea.
Coffee? That woman threw me into jail, now you invite her to live with us.
Have you taken leave of your senses? Stella has come to help save Glenbogle.
We might not like her style or her way of doing things, but she's the only chance we've got.
Either we help her or we can say goodbye to our home forever.
- That might be a price worth paying.
- You don't mean that.
Don't I? for centuries, we MacDonalds have fought against the invaders and put them to flight.
Not now, though.
Not a bit of it.
Hundreds of years of proud tradition thrown out the window.
There is also a highland tradition of treating visitors with courtesy and good manners.
At least we owe that to Stella.
- Oh, really-! - Can I join you? Oh yes, of course.
We were just going in to dinner.
It's good to have you back, Golly.
( bagpipe playing ) She's so so out of your league? ( sighs ) Join the club.
Come on.
Do I know these people? They're here for the fishing.
Oh.
I suppose you're going to have them locked up? If the one in the red dicky bow plays footsie with me one more time, I'll do more than lock him up.
Ah I recommend the claymore hanging in the hall.
That's if he survives the food, of course.
Ah, Lexie! - Can I serve you, madam? - Yes, please.
what is it? It's your favorite poached salmon.
( theme music playing )