Mount Pleasant (2011) s03e03 Episode Script
Season 3, Episode 3
It could be a good time to start thinking about having kids.
.
The Dog & Dart's hiring.
Part-time would be perfect.
That's nice, isn't it? We'll have to choose one soon.
Sponge, not fruit.
There.
Chosen.
.
.
I've decided to form my own company.
I don't think me working for you is a good idea anymore.
So You know people then? Going to need a sample.
I've signed up with a modelling agency.
Yeah, right! "Lisa Johnson" "MD"? You didn't think of talking to me about it first? Cancer and Pisces.
Very compatible, see? Are you sure I need to get this togged up? Bloody positive, misery guts.
Hey.
What do you think? Gorgeous.
What about me? I'm just not sure about that tie.
It's the only one I've got.
Exactly.
What's wrong with it? What's right with it? There's nothing wrong.
But it is a posh restaurant.
We don't want to look too out of place.
We won't look out of place.
You might do in that.
Shall we stop by our Dan's and see if he can help out? Where to today then? We're seeing a couple of offices at the new place in Trent Fields.
Very swish.
I know.
That's why I wanted to look the part.
Do you hate it? Hate what? It's not working is it? Oh! It's that what's different.
Different? New, you mean.
Different's not much cop, is it? Different is great! You look good! Sexy, actually.
Sexy?! Yeah.
Authoritative.
Like one of the birds that checks the bags in when you go on holiday.
A trolley dolly? I wanted to look more serious.
A bit more like an MD.
Oh! There it goes! Did you hear it? Hear what?! The MD klaxon.
Don't be daft.
Morning, Dan! I'm just going to brush my MD teeth with my MD toothbrush.
Stop it! Hey, Dan.
Will you do me an MD coffee to go with my MD toast? Now you're just being a dick! No I'm not.
I'm demonstrating the art of MD-ing.
It's the bastard son of name-dropping and showing off.
I said you look sexy, take the compliment and run.
Morning, kids! Bloody hell! Who's died?! Dan! You never told me someone had died! They never told me either! No-one's died! Why do people assume someone's brown bread just cos you might want to make the effort to look good? Oh, no.
What've you done? And I'm not in court either.
You cheeky little sod you What's up with him? We're going for lunch.
There's a few places doing a testing menu for couples looking for somewhere to get married.
What? Buckingham Palace by any chance?! He's the one that's been banging on about me not making the effort.
I'm killing two birds with one stone.
He thinks I've pulled me finger out looking for a venue, and I get to fill me boots with a nice steak and a vat of lager.
For free! Don't you think that's a bit dishonest?! Bianca's idea.
She said he'll soon be sick of it.
He needs to borrow a tie, son.
I've told him he can't be walking around with that stupid old thing any more.
Talking of which, what's that yoke doing round your neck? You look like you work at the airport.
What now? I need you to mind Joshua.
Denise! You said it was an emergency? You don't have to have a severed finger or a capsulated arm to make something an emergency, you know.
But I need to meet Lisa! Keep your voice down.
He's still asleep.
The agency's fixed me up with an assignment.
I cancelled one two days ago cos Mum couldn't come over.
I can't cancel again.
But I can't not go to work.
Like I said last week, we need to increase his hours at nursery! But we're both skint! I'm not skint! I'm just ploughing every penny into an opportunity to avoid BEING skint! Oh, yeah! Here we go again.
I can use long words and talk cryptic, you know.
I'll be back at three.
His cottage pie is in the fridge and Balamory starts at ten.
Stick that in your corporate hotdog and put ketchup on it! No, no, no, no, no.
Phone the agency and tell them your hamster has snuffed it.
You did it enough times when you worked for me.
I'm late.
Goodbye.
Oh, wow! Can you?! That's fantastic! Will do, bye.
Hurry up and get dressed.
What's the rush? That fella I was telling you about.
My dad's mate? That Gerry? Yeah.
He said he wants to do business.
Really?! Yeah.
And you've got to be there for eleven.
What's this? I have no idea! Maybe you should take a photo and upload it to your Facebook.
And ask one of your MANY friends if they can help you out? Lowest form of intelligence Highest form of wit, thank you.
It's a bottle of wine, you idiot.
Why is it open? Because I fancied a glass, and we didn't have any in, so I opened it! It's from that hamper that got dropped off here instead of next door.
I thought you were going to pass it back to Lisa? I'm a busy woman! Look I just forgot, OK? You forgot so much that you stashed it in the garage?! I put it in the garage because there wasn't any space in the cupboard.
It's not yours to put in the cupboard, even if there was room! So? So What if they know about it? What if they've been told it's here? We'll look like a right pair of thieving bastards! Stop lecturing me! I'm trying to do a deep cleanse.
Not of your soul by any chance? Ha-ha! Can you two just give it a rest for once? He's the one going on! He's the one doing the nagging! Don't you think it's weird if they find out we haven't given it back? They're not going to find out! You hope! Bye! I'll see you tonight.
What if they do, Mum? What if they find out you've kept it and drank it? Oh, not you as well! What does a woman have to do to get some bloody peace round here?! It's got so much space! Yes, you could possible have a boardroom at this side.
So sorry I'm late It's great, isn't it?! Lovely.
Yeah.
That section there turns into a boardroom.
Brilliant.
And you can get four banks of desks over there.
But there's only two of us.
There won't be eventually.
Can I have a minute? Look at that view! It's way too big.
And way too expensive.
But look at it! It's fantastic! You said so yourself, it's brilliant! It's stunning, if there was 30 of us.
But it's just you and me.
I've explained the set up.
I've told him everything.
He knows we're just a start up.
And he's happy to negotiate! What's the problem?! This is room to explode, not grow.
It's a process.
It takes time.
Is there a canteen or anywhere we can grab a coffee? We don't need a canteen.
You see that space over there doubles up as a kitchen.
We can get a fridge or a kettle I meant for now.
We need to sit down and have a chat.
Now! Are you OK? I was until I realised I was parked opposite a cop shop.
Don't worry about them.
They're in and out all day.
Sometimes it's the best place to be, right under the nose of the danger.
Are you coming up to the office then? I know you're a busy man, so we can just get the boring stuff out of the way, can't we? Fine by me It's definitely the same batch as the sample? Cos I'll know straightaway if it isn't.
I assume you're not here to piss me about, Greg? No way, mate.
Good.
I'll give you 85 grand.
That's a fair deal.
Don't you think Greg? Yes, mate.
Very fair.
Good.
Well that's good.
That's positive.
I'm pleased we got a deal.
Are you pleased, Greg? You don't look it.
Delighted.
And this dining room here is Blood and sand, that's ancient.
Definitely in need of a lick of paint.
It's meant to look like that.
That was the fashion, then.
Idiot.
The Fourth Earl of Doncaster once visited this dining room.
Oh! Lucky bugger! He sat at the very same table we have reserved for you.
I feel star-struck.
We have a full listing here of all our wedding breakfasts.
We have a vegetarian option if you have any guests that might want that? Between you and me, I don't know any vegetarians, so I don't think we'll have to worry about that if we choose to get married here.
We've never really had much in common with them types, have we, love? Not really, no.
They're so pale, aren't they? Can I get you both fixed up with drinks? Pint of bitter for me, love.
Half a lager and lime, please.
We normally show our prospective customers the wine selection? No harm in having a shufties, I suppose? I can recommend the New Zealand Sauvignon.
Go on then, chuck, we'll have a taster of that, shall we? They live in cloud cuckoo land, these places, thinking people like us have got money to burn on a load of shitty old grape juice.
If they want to ply us with it?! For free?! We might as well get smashed? Yeah? Aah Well When you put it like that Thank you.
Stop moaning and start living the dream, then, gorgeous.
Alan Sugar started out the back of a van he bought for 50 quid, you know.
Oh, I get it.
We'll just pitch camp in me dad's greenhouse then, shall we?! Try and be reasonable! Reasonable?! You're talking about the back of a van.
It just needs planning properly.
Minimum overheads.
You start small, work up, spend later.
We need to make a profit first! Yeah Like I didn't know that?! Check this place out.
It's not far from here either.
THAT dump?! Yeah.
Round the back of that horrible old bingo hall?! Yeah.
I just thought we were aiming a bit higher than that! We are.
We're building an empire and at 80 quid a week, I think this is the best place to start! It smells like an old people's home.
We can air it.
Put some fresheners in.
It's damp.
You can't get rid of damp.
Once we've aired it, that might help! I've got an inhaler, you know.
Which I don't have to use that often.
You'll have to make sure you bring it with you, then.
Ten minutes from junction nine, so any city centre appointments we can be at in twenty minutes from here.
And that chippy That chippy does the meanest meat and potato pie this side of Stretford and! And that is what I call a park! That's not a park, it's a patch of grass.
And what do we need a park for anyway?! I'm being positive.
This is just not what I want, Fergus! Well Get another job, then.
What? GET ANOTHER JOB.
What? Just like that?! You're the one giving up just like that! I'm not giving up! I'm just not singing and dancing about the prospect of working in a shithole, that's all! Listen to me.
Let's agree to this place.
We can set some targets tomorrow morning.
If we've not moved on in three months, we'll part ways.
What and that's it? Three months is more than enough to make it work.
And we WILL make it work.
This is an incentive, Lisa.
Is it?! Just tell me we've got a deal.
Marcus has told me he will be giving you a call first thing in the morning to discuss any details.
Who's Marcus? Come on.
Our events manager.
That'll be smashing! Thanks, love.
And what are you going to say when King Marcus calls? You don't think I gave her the right number, do you?! Are you sure there's nothing else I can help you with? Bye! Bloody hell! She can stop mithering, that'd be a start.
It's called service.
It's called mithering.
We're going to Waverly Manor tomorrow, you better get used to it.
They'll be ten times worse there! Maybe you need to take another approach? Maybe randomers aren't such a good idea? They're not randomers.
I don't date strangers, Bianca.
It was a friend of a friend.
Just not my type, that's all.
Maybe we should fix you up with an online agency? Then you can choose exactly your type.
There'll be no shortage! I'm sure of it! Quantity isn't the issue.
I've already got the dates lined up, as a matter of fact.
Lucky you That's not the trouble.
It's when I have to actually go and meet them, that's when the trouble starts.
Maybe you're putting people off? Don't feel the need to pussyfoot around me, whatever you do, Bianca.
Tell me where you think I'm going wrong.
What did you wear? Er, erm Clothes.
Elaborate, please This lot.
Does it matter? For a first date, of course it does! You're scaring them away.
No-one's going to fancy you with that on.
Hello, all.
Hiya, Greg! Hello, there.
A bottle of your finest champagne, please! How lovely! Ooh, champagne! Oh, my God, I thought you were kidding me! What did you think of him then? What was he like? He's a really nice fella.
Just a top bloke.
We just talked.
Talked? About my work, the weather, he told me about his kids.
He was just dead, dead sound.
Oh, God.
It's him.
Answer it, then! What the fuck does he want?! I don't know! Just answer it! Hi, mate.
OK.
See you then.
Shit.
Two reasons I asked you here, actually.
One is I like you.
Two is I want you to do some work for me.
Like I told you, I work for myself, mate.
Doesn't mean you can't do a bit on the side for someone else? You took 85 grand off me yesterday.
When you should've been demanding at least a hundred.
Hey? Naivety is good.
Proves that you haven't done this before.
I've never said that.
Nice try.
You stumbled across that stash and you wanted rid as soon as possible.
Get yourself a decent motor and a nice couple of holidays.
So you took the cash and you legged it.
And that's fine, Greg.
That's what anyone else would've done.
You could make some serious money here, mate.
I might not want to.
You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to.
That's Columbia.
That's Glasgow.
And that's a key of coke.
One of many as we know.
By the time it leaves here, it's worth 350 quid.
And by the time it gets here, it's worth a fucking fortune.
And it'll be your job to take part in some of that journey.
No borders crossed, no psychopathic Columbian's toes trod on.
Just a simple motorway journey with ten grand in your back pocket when it's all over.
Plus petrol money, of course.
Ten grand? I told you to hear me out.
Wh-wh-where are we? Come on! Get up! You need to get ready! The bus leaves in 45 minutes! Bloody hell.
Oh, my God! That's completely amaze! Course I do! Course I will! Thanks so much! Bye! Oh, Josh! Your mummy is so worth it! So Sales up on this one? Oh, yeah! Good Yin and Yang, sister.
Bingotastic! Have you found them?! All 72 of them! I'm cooking on gas, girl! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Guess who's just cracked access to Eh?! What do you reckon to that?! Sorry about this, Lisa.
You're all right.
What's up? I need you to mind Josh.
Denise, I'm working! I know! And I need you to mind our son.
I've got an assignment.
A big one this time.
On Deansgate.
You should've called me! You would've just brushed me off.
But he can't look after him here.
No offence, Lisa, but would you mind staying out of this please? No offence, Denise, but this is my office too, you know?! I know.
And I'm sorry! But I'm NOT letting them down again! What about your mum and dad?! They're away.
And they can't do it all the time.
You're his dad.
And you told me you were going to help me out more.
I'm never going to become a brand not turning up for assignments.
Kate Moss never made 70 million not turning up for Calvin, did she?! Shit! It's Dan! What does he want? How the hell am I supposed to know?! Answer it then! Go and get it! Hi.
Is your mum in? Just seen your dad.
He said she wants a word? Did he now? Is she in? She's in the front room.
She's got a face pack on and looks like a dog's dinner.
Sorry.
Isn't it lovely? Smashing.
I wonder if the Earl of Leicester likes it? Shall I ask this muppet if the Earl of Leicester likes it? He should know, he's probably spent half the morning crawled up the poor bugger's arse.
Charlie! Have you seen the wine list yet? Sir? Is there any chance I could just have a pint of bitter? Of course, sir.
And today's special, madam, is a soy-seared fillet of John Dory with a pea puree and Parmesan crusted deep-fried Charlotte potatoes.
That's fish, chips and mushy peas to you, love.
Or if you'd prefer something more meaty, we've a 21 day dry-aged fillet and we're serving that with baby carrots and a herb coated gnocchi.
Can't we just have it with chips? I'm afraid we don't do chips.
What kind of place doesn't do bloody chips? Excuse me a minute, love.
Charlie! It's not a Berni bloody Inn! Round my neck of the woods this is what we call making a friggin' effort.
Something that you have been banging on at me to do, non-stop since you got down on one knee in the first place! Sorry.
Shall I ask him to come back? Well, that would be a start.
Oi! Spartacus! Over here, pal! I think we're ready to order! Lisa.
I'm really sorry about this, I promise it won't happen again.
That's the second time you've said that to me in the last two weeks! He'll be all right.
We just have to keep him occupied.
We?! I don't think so, somehow! Maybe I should nip to the sweet shop then and get him some colouring books? Good idea! And why don't you take him for a run round the cow pat sized park, whilst you're at it! This is just ridiculous.
I'm sorry.
Do you want me to go? Yes, actually.
This is no place for a child.
I know.
You need to sort Denise out.
You need to talk to her.
She can't dictate to you like this.
But she can though, can't she? I've already lost one child.
I don't want to lose another one.
Has something happened? Jane's staying in Scotland.
What's she doing up there?! She moved there after we split.
New job, new challenge and all that.
She really wants to make a go of it.
And I don't blame her, it's a brilliant opportunity.
But it means I don't get to see Emily til November.
Oh, love.
That's terrible.
Like everything else in my life, it's a total mess.
Hey, your life isn't a total mess.
Josh isn't, is he? No, I suppose not.
Poor lad didn't ask for any of this trouble, did he? Listen, it's OK.
It's still early days here.
I'll go through the files myself and then at least we've made a start.
You take Josh home and we'll start over tomorrow.
Both of us.
What do you reckon? And I spoke to the heads of HR at two of the banks.
They said yes to a meet and greet and they're going to look at the website! That's fantastic.
I know! As soon as Fergus went this morning I just picked up the phone.
I thought, "Sod it - I'm going to do this.
" Oh, I was on such a roll, Dan.
Are you dead proud of me or what? All right, guys? As soon as Fergus went where? Home! That was a hint, by the way.
Of the lead balloon variety.
Are you proud of me or what?! Fergus went home?! This morning?! Oh, did he now?! Aloha! In here! Did you have a good day? Not bad.
You know.
The usual.
Get off! So they were fine about it in the end? Who? Lisa and Dan.
They seemed fine about it with me just then.
Fine about what?! The hamper.
I saw him on the drive this morning and said you wanted a word with him.
Oh, bloody hell, I forgot to go back round after he came over.
Why did you do that?! You completely dropped me in it I had a face mask on! Right.
We're going round there now.
I'll come and hold your hand.
No! Yes! No! YES! NO! Oh, come on, do I have to? Really? Isn't this how it all started last time? That's not fair! This isn't like that! It's still stealing! It's not the same.
Which is why we're going round there now to sort it now.
No! We've just walked round Tesco for the last half an hour and you didn't think to tell me about the fact that your MD has just skived the first day of your new office? He's not 'my MD'.
We're equal in this.
I haven't got an MD.
I am my OWN MD.
Oooh! There it goes again! The MD klaxon! You have no respect for what I do or what position I am in, have you?! I know exactly what bloody position you're in! And I DO respect you! What I don't respect is Fergus taking the piss out of you by skiving all day! Looking after a child is not skiving! Yeah! Well, I wouldn't know, Lisa! Because I haven't got one! Not by my choice, either! What's that supposed to mean?! It means muggings here has got a wife that's too busy to have one! That is not fair! No! What's not fair, Lisa, is you carrying the boss-boy, whilst he sits back and does nothing but happily watch his kids growing up! Leaving idiots like us hurtling towards old age without even properly trying for one yet! How DARE you use this as an excuse to have a go at ME and my ambition, just because I value my career! We were NOT put on this planet just to push out BABIES, thank you very much! I'll drive, shall I? OK, babe.
That's a good idea.
You do the driving.
What do we do now? Just drive off.
Where? Just drive! Did you see what she had on? No! What?! See? You never said anything about her looking like a fucking trolley dolly, did you?! I'm going back to the office! Oh! Hiya! I hope you don't mind, but me and Dan have had a barney.
It's OK.
I've had a barney with Denise.
Another one.
I suppose that makes two of us then.
I've got nothing anymore, Lisa.
Absolutely sweet FA.
Don't be daft.
You've got this.
We've got this.
Yeah.
I know.
And you've got what Dan wants, if you must know.
What? A season ticket and a suit? cos there's fuck all else.
Josh and Emily.
He'd love to have kids, would Dan.
Loads of people would love to have your kids.
So don't say you've got nothing, when it's not true.
Dan wants kids? Too right.
What about you? Yeah! Eventually.
But not this minute.
Not right now.
I want this, Fergus.
I want the empire.
The funny thing is, Dan's got everything I want.
Not you.
Oh, thank God for that I meant the marriage, the home and the security.
Maybe you have to work a bit harder on Denise.
She's got every right to be cautious of you after the way you were last year.
Be honest, you were a right bastard.
Yeah, yeah, all right, thank you.
Try and make proper amends.
Say you're sorry.
But properly.
Yeah.
You're right.
If Dan could hear me now.
Banging on about making amends and apologising! After giving him grief! So, I'm not the only one that's got some fixing up to do then? Can I talk to you and Lisa? She's just nipped out.
Oh, OK.
Actually, she's not 'nipped' anywhere.
She's full-on bolted.
I'm here.
Will I do? Oh, blimey What's up? This is so awkward Do you want to come in? I'm really sorry.
You weren't in.
The delivery man asked us to give it to you.
And then Ella unpacked it, thinking it was for me and Bradley.
He's a bit cross with me because I kept forgetting to mention it, and then once I'd drank it, well, it just seemed so cheeky.
What?! Is that it? Is what it? Is that why he was cross? Yeah.
And that's why you wanted a word this morning? Yeah! It really doesn't matter.
It's just off Lisa's mum and dad.
They send stuff over every now and then.
We hadn't even noticed.
Honestly.
Thank God for that! I was really hoping you'd be lovely about it.
Tanya? I'm really sorry! What's up? Don't cry.
You don't need to cry.
I've just been really worried you'd be pissed off.
About a bottle of wine and a few tinned olives? Don't be silly.
We really like it here.
Bradley was very annoyed in case I upset our lovely new neighbours.
He'll be really pleased with me now.
He's gone down to the Dog 'n' Dart and I said I might join him.
Shall we all go? Do you fancy that? Yeah.
Why not? What about Lisa? Will she come to? Yeah, course she will.
I'll text her and tell her I'm sorry.
I probably over-reacted.
Aren't you a lovely husband, just saying sorry like that? Bradley never says he's sorry.
Nor does Lisa.
Really?! We're like peas in a pod, me and you, aren't we? She's under pressure at the moment.
The new business and stuff.
She probably needs a drink anyway It's a tough one.
When someone gets a new job, everything changes.
I know.
She's just finding her feet, that's all.
I've got to expect it.
It's a start-up and we're slap bang in the middle of recession.
It's not meant to be easy.
Shall we get going then? Yeah.
Half a lager and lime and a pint, please, love.
How was it? Lovely.
So where to tomorrow then? Farley Hall.
Where? I know it.
It's just past Wrexham.
Wrexham? It's beautiful.
I went to a do there a few months back.
We're getting the coach at half seven in the morning.
Half seven?! They better do bloody chips! They do potato wedges.
Thanks, love Look, love.
Don't take this the wrong way, but do you fancy going on your own? No, I do not! I just think we've seen what we need to see already.
There's only so many medallions of pork and melon balls any one man can take.
And don't get me started on those fawning bastards asking me if I need anything else.
Other than me arse wiping.
No, I don't! I've been thinking.
Maybe you were right? Me?! Right?! You're not that pissed, surely? Maybe we don't need a massive big place after all? Maybe there's nothing wrong with a few tables at the Central Club? We could just go for a finger buffet and a bit of karaoke? What do you want now? Did you have a good afternoon? Yes.
I did.
It was amaze, actually.
That's what Caroline says.
It's cute, isn't it? Very.
Bit like you, really.
Who's Caroline? She's one of the models.
She was the face of C&A ski goggles, apparently.
She's in her 50s.
She used to hang out with the cast of Hi-de-Hi, whoever they are.
Do you mind if we talk? What about now? About your career.
My career? Yeah.
And us.
Us? Yeah.
And about how I think we're a team.
I want to support you in what you want to do, Denise.
And help you in any way I can.
You do? Yeah.
And I promise this time, we'll sort it all out properly.
Equally.
So it's fair.
I love being with you.
I love spending all this time with you and Josh.
I don't want to mess it up, Denise.
Not again.
We've got something, you and me.
We always have had something.
What do you think? These are lovely.
Thanks.
Are you coming in, then? I'm just doing tea.
Well? Mission accomplished.
He doesn't want a fancy do, and I've had a week of free lunches! What did I tell you? I'm impressed, Bianca.
Do us another half and whatever you're having, cock.
Thank you! I've just had a thought mid-syphon.
Steady on.
Two thoughts in one day? I just reckon, if we're all agreed on food and venues, maybe we should start thinking about themes instead? Hang on, Bianca.
Make that a double whisky, will you.
All right, mate.
I'll get this.
Pint for Dan, please, Bianca.
You and I need to talk.
Oh, aye? I owe you some of this.
Remember the stash? From Kim? I've got rid of it.
You still had it? Sold it to a dealer in Liverpool.
Are you mad?! I'd be mad not to, mate.
And if it weren't for you asking me to give you a lift to the airport that day, I'd never have had the chance to get my hands on it so I want to give you your cut.
You ARE mad.
You've actually lost it.
I'm proud of you.
Aw, thank you, baby.
After all the shit we had, I know that must've been hard for you.
It was.
But sssh.
It's all done and dusted now So Shall I get a round in? Just a couple of grand or so, for you and Lisa.
You can go on a nice holiday.
Get yourself a new van.
I don't need a new van, thanks! And I'm not going on some dodgy holiday either! Keep it, mate! Or give it to charity or something.
Hiya! Well? Yeah, yeah! He's delighted.
He's fine.
Great! Can I have a pint and a gin and tonic please, Bianca! Could you look after this for a second? I need to nip the loo.
Don't be offended mate.
I appreciate the offer and all that.
It's just dangerous, isn't it? I'm a big boy.
And I don't really approve of dirty money.
Yeah, well how about if I don't 'approve' of the thing you've got for your fit new neighbour, if we're going to play goody-goody all of a sudden.
What thing? Her?! No way, mate.
Not in a million years.
OK! OK.
If I believe you can handle the danger of a bird like that, will you believe I can handle the danger of a little extra cash? Just don't say anything to Lisa.
About Tanya? About the money, dickhead! Hiya.
Loving you and leaving you, I'm afraid.
Business to attend to.
I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.
I shouldn't have walked off either.
Where've you been? Wait, don't tell me, you went to Wythenshawe hospital for a quick personality transplant.
And you were right about Fergus.
He shouldn't have taken the piss like that.
He's apologised and it won't happen again.
And I promise I'll stop going on about work, and your lack of respect for what I do either.
I know you respect me.
I should never have said that.
So Are you going to put your hands in your pocket? The MD has had a long day and the MD needs a drink! Phew.
So are you two friends again? She apologised.
She ACTUALLY apologised.
That's great, isn't it?! I'd call it more of a once in a lifetime thing, rather than a simple old "great".
Thanks for before, Dan.
No need to thank me.
Yes, there is.
You're a lovely man.
Well, that's very kind.
And you're a lovely woman.
And everyone lived happily ever after! Just a thought, Dan.
But you know with Lisa's new job and everything? Yeah? Well, if she's ever away on business and you're stuck in on your own You can always shout me up.
What I'm getting to is that you wouldn't have to be in .
.
on your own .
.
if you know what I mean.
Course you know what I mean! Don't look so scared, Dan! I'm not hitting on you.
I didn't mean it like that! Not like you've never worked weekends, is it? Don't you point bacon at me.
These are potential colour schemes for the wedding.
Me dad's after coming home.
I'm going over there to fetch him! What?! Going to see her mum and dad.
In Spain? Yes.
And you're not going? No.
Are you going to be all right? I'll be fine.
Right! That's it! From now on I'M arranging this wedding.
All of it.
You can't.
Are you moving in? Would that be so bad? The perfect life, eh? Does anybody have the perfect life?
.
The Dog & Dart's hiring.
Part-time would be perfect.
That's nice, isn't it? We'll have to choose one soon.
Sponge, not fruit.
There.
Chosen.
.
.
I've decided to form my own company.
I don't think me working for you is a good idea anymore.
So You know people then? Going to need a sample.
I've signed up with a modelling agency.
Yeah, right! "Lisa Johnson" "MD"? You didn't think of talking to me about it first? Cancer and Pisces.
Very compatible, see? Are you sure I need to get this togged up? Bloody positive, misery guts.
Hey.
What do you think? Gorgeous.
What about me? I'm just not sure about that tie.
It's the only one I've got.
Exactly.
What's wrong with it? What's right with it? There's nothing wrong.
But it is a posh restaurant.
We don't want to look too out of place.
We won't look out of place.
You might do in that.
Shall we stop by our Dan's and see if he can help out? Where to today then? We're seeing a couple of offices at the new place in Trent Fields.
Very swish.
I know.
That's why I wanted to look the part.
Do you hate it? Hate what? It's not working is it? Oh! It's that what's different.
Different? New, you mean.
Different's not much cop, is it? Different is great! You look good! Sexy, actually.
Sexy?! Yeah.
Authoritative.
Like one of the birds that checks the bags in when you go on holiday.
A trolley dolly? I wanted to look more serious.
A bit more like an MD.
Oh! There it goes! Did you hear it? Hear what?! The MD klaxon.
Don't be daft.
Morning, Dan! I'm just going to brush my MD teeth with my MD toothbrush.
Stop it! Hey, Dan.
Will you do me an MD coffee to go with my MD toast? Now you're just being a dick! No I'm not.
I'm demonstrating the art of MD-ing.
It's the bastard son of name-dropping and showing off.
I said you look sexy, take the compliment and run.
Morning, kids! Bloody hell! Who's died?! Dan! You never told me someone had died! They never told me either! No-one's died! Why do people assume someone's brown bread just cos you might want to make the effort to look good? Oh, no.
What've you done? And I'm not in court either.
You cheeky little sod you What's up with him? We're going for lunch.
There's a few places doing a testing menu for couples looking for somewhere to get married.
What? Buckingham Palace by any chance?! He's the one that's been banging on about me not making the effort.
I'm killing two birds with one stone.
He thinks I've pulled me finger out looking for a venue, and I get to fill me boots with a nice steak and a vat of lager.
For free! Don't you think that's a bit dishonest?! Bianca's idea.
She said he'll soon be sick of it.
He needs to borrow a tie, son.
I've told him he can't be walking around with that stupid old thing any more.
Talking of which, what's that yoke doing round your neck? You look like you work at the airport.
What now? I need you to mind Joshua.
Denise! You said it was an emergency? You don't have to have a severed finger or a capsulated arm to make something an emergency, you know.
But I need to meet Lisa! Keep your voice down.
He's still asleep.
The agency's fixed me up with an assignment.
I cancelled one two days ago cos Mum couldn't come over.
I can't cancel again.
But I can't not go to work.
Like I said last week, we need to increase his hours at nursery! But we're both skint! I'm not skint! I'm just ploughing every penny into an opportunity to avoid BEING skint! Oh, yeah! Here we go again.
I can use long words and talk cryptic, you know.
I'll be back at three.
His cottage pie is in the fridge and Balamory starts at ten.
Stick that in your corporate hotdog and put ketchup on it! No, no, no, no, no.
Phone the agency and tell them your hamster has snuffed it.
You did it enough times when you worked for me.
I'm late.
Goodbye.
Oh, wow! Can you?! That's fantastic! Will do, bye.
Hurry up and get dressed.
What's the rush? That fella I was telling you about.
My dad's mate? That Gerry? Yeah.
He said he wants to do business.
Really?! Yeah.
And you've got to be there for eleven.
What's this? I have no idea! Maybe you should take a photo and upload it to your Facebook.
And ask one of your MANY friends if they can help you out? Lowest form of intelligence Highest form of wit, thank you.
It's a bottle of wine, you idiot.
Why is it open? Because I fancied a glass, and we didn't have any in, so I opened it! It's from that hamper that got dropped off here instead of next door.
I thought you were going to pass it back to Lisa? I'm a busy woman! Look I just forgot, OK? You forgot so much that you stashed it in the garage?! I put it in the garage because there wasn't any space in the cupboard.
It's not yours to put in the cupboard, even if there was room! So? So What if they know about it? What if they've been told it's here? We'll look like a right pair of thieving bastards! Stop lecturing me! I'm trying to do a deep cleanse.
Not of your soul by any chance? Ha-ha! Can you two just give it a rest for once? He's the one going on! He's the one doing the nagging! Don't you think it's weird if they find out we haven't given it back? They're not going to find out! You hope! Bye! I'll see you tonight.
What if they do, Mum? What if they find out you've kept it and drank it? Oh, not you as well! What does a woman have to do to get some bloody peace round here?! It's got so much space! Yes, you could possible have a boardroom at this side.
So sorry I'm late It's great, isn't it?! Lovely.
Yeah.
That section there turns into a boardroom.
Brilliant.
And you can get four banks of desks over there.
But there's only two of us.
There won't be eventually.
Can I have a minute? Look at that view! It's way too big.
And way too expensive.
But look at it! It's fantastic! You said so yourself, it's brilliant! It's stunning, if there was 30 of us.
But it's just you and me.
I've explained the set up.
I've told him everything.
He knows we're just a start up.
And he's happy to negotiate! What's the problem?! This is room to explode, not grow.
It's a process.
It takes time.
Is there a canteen or anywhere we can grab a coffee? We don't need a canteen.
You see that space over there doubles up as a kitchen.
We can get a fridge or a kettle I meant for now.
We need to sit down and have a chat.
Now! Are you OK? I was until I realised I was parked opposite a cop shop.
Don't worry about them.
They're in and out all day.
Sometimes it's the best place to be, right under the nose of the danger.
Are you coming up to the office then? I know you're a busy man, so we can just get the boring stuff out of the way, can't we? Fine by me It's definitely the same batch as the sample? Cos I'll know straightaway if it isn't.
I assume you're not here to piss me about, Greg? No way, mate.
Good.
I'll give you 85 grand.
That's a fair deal.
Don't you think Greg? Yes, mate.
Very fair.
Good.
Well that's good.
That's positive.
I'm pleased we got a deal.
Are you pleased, Greg? You don't look it.
Delighted.
And this dining room here is Blood and sand, that's ancient.
Definitely in need of a lick of paint.
It's meant to look like that.
That was the fashion, then.
Idiot.
The Fourth Earl of Doncaster once visited this dining room.
Oh! Lucky bugger! He sat at the very same table we have reserved for you.
I feel star-struck.
We have a full listing here of all our wedding breakfasts.
We have a vegetarian option if you have any guests that might want that? Between you and me, I don't know any vegetarians, so I don't think we'll have to worry about that if we choose to get married here.
We've never really had much in common with them types, have we, love? Not really, no.
They're so pale, aren't they? Can I get you both fixed up with drinks? Pint of bitter for me, love.
Half a lager and lime, please.
We normally show our prospective customers the wine selection? No harm in having a shufties, I suppose? I can recommend the New Zealand Sauvignon.
Go on then, chuck, we'll have a taster of that, shall we? They live in cloud cuckoo land, these places, thinking people like us have got money to burn on a load of shitty old grape juice.
If they want to ply us with it?! For free?! We might as well get smashed? Yeah? Aah Well When you put it like that Thank you.
Stop moaning and start living the dream, then, gorgeous.
Alan Sugar started out the back of a van he bought for 50 quid, you know.
Oh, I get it.
We'll just pitch camp in me dad's greenhouse then, shall we?! Try and be reasonable! Reasonable?! You're talking about the back of a van.
It just needs planning properly.
Minimum overheads.
You start small, work up, spend later.
We need to make a profit first! Yeah Like I didn't know that?! Check this place out.
It's not far from here either.
THAT dump?! Yeah.
Round the back of that horrible old bingo hall?! Yeah.
I just thought we were aiming a bit higher than that! We are.
We're building an empire and at 80 quid a week, I think this is the best place to start! It smells like an old people's home.
We can air it.
Put some fresheners in.
It's damp.
You can't get rid of damp.
Once we've aired it, that might help! I've got an inhaler, you know.
Which I don't have to use that often.
You'll have to make sure you bring it with you, then.
Ten minutes from junction nine, so any city centre appointments we can be at in twenty minutes from here.
And that chippy That chippy does the meanest meat and potato pie this side of Stretford and! And that is what I call a park! That's not a park, it's a patch of grass.
And what do we need a park for anyway?! I'm being positive.
This is just not what I want, Fergus! Well Get another job, then.
What? GET ANOTHER JOB.
What? Just like that?! You're the one giving up just like that! I'm not giving up! I'm just not singing and dancing about the prospect of working in a shithole, that's all! Listen to me.
Let's agree to this place.
We can set some targets tomorrow morning.
If we've not moved on in three months, we'll part ways.
What and that's it? Three months is more than enough to make it work.
And we WILL make it work.
This is an incentive, Lisa.
Is it?! Just tell me we've got a deal.
Marcus has told me he will be giving you a call first thing in the morning to discuss any details.
Who's Marcus? Come on.
Our events manager.
That'll be smashing! Thanks, love.
And what are you going to say when King Marcus calls? You don't think I gave her the right number, do you?! Are you sure there's nothing else I can help you with? Bye! Bloody hell! She can stop mithering, that'd be a start.
It's called service.
It's called mithering.
We're going to Waverly Manor tomorrow, you better get used to it.
They'll be ten times worse there! Maybe you need to take another approach? Maybe randomers aren't such a good idea? They're not randomers.
I don't date strangers, Bianca.
It was a friend of a friend.
Just not my type, that's all.
Maybe we should fix you up with an online agency? Then you can choose exactly your type.
There'll be no shortage! I'm sure of it! Quantity isn't the issue.
I've already got the dates lined up, as a matter of fact.
Lucky you That's not the trouble.
It's when I have to actually go and meet them, that's when the trouble starts.
Maybe you're putting people off? Don't feel the need to pussyfoot around me, whatever you do, Bianca.
Tell me where you think I'm going wrong.
What did you wear? Er, erm Clothes.
Elaborate, please This lot.
Does it matter? For a first date, of course it does! You're scaring them away.
No-one's going to fancy you with that on.
Hello, all.
Hiya, Greg! Hello, there.
A bottle of your finest champagne, please! How lovely! Ooh, champagne! Oh, my God, I thought you were kidding me! What did you think of him then? What was he like? He's a really nice fella.
Just a top bloke.
We just talked.
Talked? About my work, the weather, he told me about his kids.
He was just dead, dead sound.
Oh, God.
It's him.
Answer it, then! What the fuck does he want?! I don't know! Just answer it! Hi, mate.
OK.
See you then.
Shit.
Two reasons I asked you here, actually.
One is I like you.
Two is I want you to do some work for me.
Like I told you, I work for myself, mate.
Doesn't mean you can't do a bit on the side for someone else? You took 85 grand off me yesterday.
When you should've been demanding at least a hundred.
Hey? Naivety is good.
Proves that you haven't done this before.
I've never said that.
Nice try.
You stumbled across that stash and you wanted rid as soon as possible.
Get yourself a decent motor and a nice couple of holidays.
So you took the cash and you legged it.
And that's fine, Greg.
That's what anyone else would've done.
You could make some serious money here, mate.
I might not want to.
You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to.
That's Columbia.
That's Glasgow.
And that's a key of coke.
One of many as we know.
By the time it leaves here, it's worth 350 quid.
And by the time it gets here, it's worth a fucking fortune.
And it'll be your job to take part in some of that journey.
No borders crossed, no psychopathic Columbian's toes trod on.
Just a simple motorway journey with ten grand in your back pocket when it's all over.
Plus petrol money, of course.
Ten grand? I told you to hear me out.
Wh-wh-where are we? Come on! Get up! You need to get ready! The bus leaves in 45 minutes! Bloody hell.
Oh, my God! That's completely amaze! Course I do! Course I will! Thanks so much! Bye! Oh, Josh! Your mummy is so worth it! So Sales up on this one? Oh, yeah! Good Yin and Yang, sister.
Bingotastic! Have you found them?! All 72 of them! I'm cooking on gas, girl! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Go Fergus! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Guess who's just cracked access to Eh?! What do you reckon to that?! Sorry about this, Lisa.
You're all right.
What's up? I need you to mind Josh.
Denise, I'm working! I know! And I need you to mind our son.
I've got an assignment.
A big one this time.
On Deansgate.
You should've called me! You would've just brushed me off.
But he can't look after him here.
No offence, Lisa, but would you mind staying out of this please? No offence, Denise, but this is my office too, you know?! I know.
And I'm sorry! But I'm NOT letting them down again! What about your mum and dad?! They're away.
And they can't do it all the time.
You're his dad.
And you told me you were going to help me out more.
I'm never going to become a brand not turning up for assignments.
Kate Moss never made 70 million not turning up for Calvin, did she?! Shit! It's Dan! What does he want? How the hell am I supposed to know?! Answer it then! Go and get it! Hi.
Is your mum in? Just seen your dad.
He said she wants a word? Did he now? Is she in? She's in the front room.
She's got a face pack on and looks like a dog's dinner.
Sorry.
Isn't it lovely? Smashing.
I wonder if the Earl of Leicester likes it? Shall I ask this muppet if the Earl of Leicester likes it? He should know, he's probably spent half the morning crawled up the poor bugger's arse.
Charlie! Have you seen the wine list yet? Sir? Is there any chance I could just have a pint of bitter? Of course, sir.
And today's special, madam, is a soy-seared fillet of John Dory with a pea puree and Parmesan crusted deep-fried Charlotte potatoes.
That's fish, chips and mushy peas to you, love.
Or if you'd prefer something more meaty, we've a 21 day dry-aged fillet and we're serving that with baby carrots and a herb coated gnocchi.
Can't we just have it with chips? I'm afraid we don't do chips.
What kind of place doesn't do bloody chips? Excuse me a minute, love.
Charlie! It's not a Berni bloody Inn! Round my neck of the woods this is what we call making a friggin' effort.
Something that you have been banging on at me to do, non-stop since you got down on one knee in the first place! Sorry.
Shall I ask him to come back? Well, that would be a start.
Oi! Spartacus! Over here, pal! I think we're ready to order! Lisa.
I'm really sorry about this, I promise it won't happen again.
That's the second time you've said that to me in the last two weeks! He'll be all right.
We just have to keep him occupied.
We?! I don't think so, somehow! Maybe I should nip to the sweet shop then and get him some colouring books? Good idea! And why don't you take him for a run round the cow pat sized park, whilst you're at it! This is just ridiculous.
I'm sorry.
Do you want me to go? Yes, actually.
This is no place for a child.
I know.
You need to sort Denise out.
You need to talk to her.
She can't dictate to you like this.
But she can though, can't she? I've already lost one child.
I don't want to lose another one.
Has something happened? Jane's staying in Scotland.
What's she doing up there?! She moved there after we split.
New job, new challenge and all that.
She really wants to make a go of it.
And I don't blame her, it's a brilliant opportunity.
But it means I don't get to see Emily til November.
Oh, love.
That's terrible.
Like everything else in my life, it's a total mess.
Hey, your life isn't a total mess.
Josh isn't, is he? No, I suppose not.
Poor lad didn't ask for any of this trouble, did he? Listen, it's OK.
It's still early days here.
I'll go through the files myself and then at least we've made a start.
You take Josh home and we'll start over tomorrow.
Both of us.
What do you reckon? And I spoke to the heads of HR at two of the banks.
They said yes to a meet and greet and they're going to look at the website! That's fantastic.
I know! As soon as Fergus went this morning I just picked up the phone.
I thought, "Sod it - I'm going to do this.
" Oh, I was on such a roll, Dan.
Are you dead proud of me or what? All right, guys? As soon as Fergus went where? Home! That was a hint, by the way.
Of the lead balloon variety.
Are you proud of me or what?! Fergus went home?! This morning?! Oh, did he now?! Aloha! In here! Did you have a good day? Not bad.
You know.
The usual.
Get off! So they were fine about it in the end? Who? Lisa and Dan.
They seemed fine about it with me just then.
Fine about what?! The hamper.
I saw him on the drive this morning and said you wanted a word with him.
Oh, bloody hell, I forgot to go back round after he came over.
Why did you do that?! You completely dropped me in it I had a face mask on! Right.
We're going round there now.
I'll come and hold your hand.
No! Yes! No! YES! NO! Oh, come on, do I have to? Really? Isn't this how it all started last time? That's not fair! This isn't like that! It's still stealing! It's not the same.
Which is why we're going round there now to sort it now.
No! We've just walked round Tesco for the last half an hour and you didn't think to tell me about the fact that your MD has just skived the first day of your new office? He's not 'my MD'.
We're equal in this.
I haven't got an MD.
I am my OWN MD.
Oooh! There it goes again! The MD klaxon! You have no respect for what I do or what position I am in, have you?! I know exactly what bloody position you're in! And I DO respect you! What I don't respect is Fergus taking the piss out of you by skiving all day! Looking after a child is not skiving! Yeah! Well, I wouldn't know, Lisa! Because I haven't got one! Not by my choice, either! What's that supposed to mean?! It means muggings here has got a wife that's too busy to have one! That is not fair! No! What's not fair, Lisa, is you carrying the boss-boy, whilst he sits back and does nothing but happily watch his kids growing up! Leaving idiots like us hurtling towards old age without even properly trying for one yet! How DARE you use this as an excuse to have a go at ME and my ambition, just because I value my career! We were NOT put on this planet just to push out BABIES, thank you very much! I'll drive, shall I? OK, babe.
That's a good idea.
You do the driving.
What do we do now? Just drive off.
Where? Just drive! Did you see what she had on? No! What?! See? You never said anything about her looking like a fucking trolley dolly, did you?! I'm going back to the office! Oh! Hiya! I hope you don't mind, but me and Dan have had a barney.
It's OK.
I've had a barney with Denise.
Another one.
I suppose that makes two of us then.
I've got nothing anymore, Lisa.
Absolutely sweet FA.
Don't be daft.
You've got this.
We've got this.
Yeah.
I know.
And you've got what Dan wants, if you must know.
What? A season ticket and a suit? cos there's fuck all else.
Josh and Emily.
He'd love to have kids, would Dan.
Loads of people would love to have your kids.
So don't say you've got nothing, when it's not true.
Dan wants kids? Too right.
What about you? Yeah! Eventually.
But not this minute.
Not right now.
I want this, Fergus.
I want the empire.
The funny thing is, Dan's got everything I want.
Not you.
Oh, thank God for that I meant the marriage, the home and the security.
Maybe you have to work a bit harder on Denise.
She's got every right to be cautious of you after the way you were last year.
Be honest, you were a right bastard.
Yeah, yeah, all right, thank you.
Try and make proper amends.
Say you're sorry.
But properly.
Yeah.
You're right.
If Dan could hear me now.
Banging on about making amends and apologising! After giving him grief! So, I'm not the only one that's got some fixing up to do then? Can I talk to you and Lisa? She's just nipped out.
Oh, OK.
Actually, she's not 'nipped' anywhere.
She's full-on bolted.
I'm here.
Will I do? Oh, blimey What's up? This is so awkward Do you want to come in? I'm really sorry.
You weren't in.
The delivery man asked us to give it to you.
And then Ella unpacked it, thinking it was for me and Bradley.
He's a bit cross with me because I kept forgetting to mention it, and then once I'd drank it, well, it just seemed so cheeky.
What?! Is that it? Is what it? Is that why he was cross? Yeah.
And that's why you wanted a word this morning? Yeah! It really doesn't matter.
It's just off Lisa's mum and dad.
They send stuff over every now and then.
We hadn't even noticed.
Honestly.
Thank God for that! I was really hoping you'd be lovely about it.
Tanya? I'm really sorry! What's up? Don't cry.
You don't need to cry.
I've just been really worried you'd be pissed off.
About a bottle of wine and a few tinned olives? Don't be silly.
We really like it here.
Bradley was very annoyed in case I upset our lovely new neighbours.
He'll be really pleased with me now.
He's gone down to the Dog 'n' Dart and I said I might join him.
Shall we all go? Do you fancy that? Yeah.
Why not? What about Lisa? Will she come to? Yeah, course she will.
I'll text her and tell her I'm sorry.
I probably over-reacted.
Aren't you a lovely husband, just saying sorry like that? Bradley never says he's sorry.
Nor does Lisa.
Really?! We're like peas in a pod, me and you, aren't we? She's under pressure at the moment.
The new business and stuff.
She probably needs a drink anyway It's a tough one.
When someone gets a new job, everything changes.
I know.
She's just finding her feet, that's all.
I've got to expect it.
It's a start-up and we're slap bang in the middle of recession.
It's not meant to be easy.
Shall we get going then? Yeah.
Half a lager and lime and a pint, please, love.
How was it? Lovely.
So where to tomorrow then? Farley Hall.
Where? I know it.
It's just past Wrexham.
Wrexham? It's beautiful.
I went to a do there a few months back.
We're getting the coach at half seven in the morning.
Half seven?! They better do bloody chips! They do potato wedges.
Thanks, love Look, love.
Don't take this the wrong way, but do you fancy going on your own? No, I do not! I just think we've seen what we need to see already.
There's only so many medallions of pork and melon balls any one man can take.
And don't get me started on those fawning bastards asking me if I need anything else.
Other than me arse wiping.
No, I don't! I've been thinking.
Maybe you were right? Me?! Right?! You're not that pissed, surely? Maybe we don't need a massive big place after all? Maybe there's nothing wrong with a few tables at the Central Club? We could just go for a finger buffet and a bit of karaoke? What do you want now? Did you have a good afternoon? Yes.
I did.
It was amaze, actually.
That's what Caroline says.
It's cute, isn't it? Very.
Bit like you, really.
Who's Caroline? She's one of the models.
She was the face of C&A ski goggles, apparently.
She's in her 50s.
She used to hang out with the cast of Hi-de-Hi, whoever they are.
Do you mind if we talk? What about now? About your career.
My career? Yeah.
And us.
Us? Yeah.
And about how I think we're a team.
I want to support you in what you want to do, Denise.
And help you in any way I can.
You do? Yeah.
And I promise this time, we'll sort it all out properly.
Equally.
So it's fair.
I love being with you.
I love spending all this time with you and Josh.
I don't want to mess it up, Denise.
Not again.
We've got something, you and me.
We always have had something.
What do you think? These are lovely.
Thanks.
Are you coming in, then? I'm just doing tea.
Well? Mission accomplished.
He doesn't want a fancy do, and I've had a week of free lunches! What did I tell you? I'm impressed, Bianca.
Do us another half and whatever you're having, cock.
Thank you! I've just had a thought mid-syphon.
Steady on.
Two thoughts in one day? I just reckon, if we're all agreed on food and venues, maybe we should start thinking about themes instead? Hang on, Bianca.
Make that a double whisky, will you.
All right, mate.
I'll get this.
Pint for Dan, please, Bianca.
You and I need to talk.
Oh, aye? I owe you some of this.
Remember the stash? From Kim? I've got rid of it.
You still had it? Sold it to a dealer in Liverpool.
Are you mad?! I'd be mad not to, mate.
And if it weren't for you asking me to give you a lift to the airport that day, I'd never have had the chance to get my hands on it so I want to give you your cut.
You ARE mad.
You've actually lost it.
I'm proud of you.
Aw, thank you, baby.
After all the shit we had, I know that must've been hard for you.
It was.
But sssh.
It's all done and dusted now So Shall I get a round in? Just a couple of grand or so, for you and Lisa.
You can go on a nice holiday.
Get yourself a new van.
I don't need a new van, thanks! And I'm not going on some dodgy holiday either! Keep it, mate! Or give it to charity or something.
Hiya! Well? Yeah, yeah! He's delighted.
He's fine.
Great! Can I have a pint and a gin and tonic please, Bianca! Could you look after this for a second? I need to nip the loo.
Don't be offended mate.
I appreciate the offer and all that.
It's just dangerous, isn't it? I'm a big boy.
And I don't really approve of dirty money.
Yeah, well how about if I don't 'approve' of the thing you've got for your fit new neighbour, if we're going to play goody-goody all of a sudden.
What thing? Her?! No way, mate.
Not in a million years.
OK! OK.
If I believe you can handle the danger of a bird like that, will you believe I can handle the danger of a little extra cash? Just don't say anything to Lisa.
About Tanya? About the money, dickhead! Hiya.
Loving you and leaving you, I'm afraid.
Business to attend to.
I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.
I shouldn't have walked off either.
Where've you been? Wait, don't tell me, you went to Wythenshawe hospital for a quick personality transplant.
And you were right about Fergus.
He shouldn't have taken the piss like that.
He's apologised and it won't happen again.
And I promise I'll stop going on about work, and your lack of respect for what I do either.
I know you respect me.
I should never have said that.
So Are you going to put your hands in your pocket? The MD has had a long day and the MD needs a drink! Phew.
So are you two friends again? She apologised.
She ACTUALLY apologised.
That's great, isn't it?! I'd call it more of a once in a lifetime thing, rather than a simple old "great".
Thanks for before, Dan.
No need to thank me.
Yes, there is.
You're a lovely man.
Well, that's very kind.
And you're a lovely woman.
And everyone lived happily ever after! Just a thought, Dan.
But you know with Lisa's new job and everything? Yeah? Well, if she's ever away on business and you're stuck in on your own You can always shout me up.
What I'm getting to is that you wouldn't have to be in .
.
on your own .
.
if you know what I mean.
Course you know what I mean! Don't look so scared, Dan! I'm not hitting on you.
I didn't mean it like that! Not like you've never worked weekends, is it? Don't you point bacon at me.
These are potential colour schemes for the wedding.
Me dad's after coming home.
I'm going over there to fetch him! What?! Going to see her mum and dad.
In Spain? Yes.
And you're not going? No.
Are you going to be all right? I'll be fine.
Right! That's it! From now on I'M arranging this wedding.
All of it.
You can't.
Are you moving in? Would that be so bad? The perfect life, eh? Does anybody have the perfect life?