RuPaul's Drag Race (2009) s03e03 Episode Script
The B*tchelor
1 - Previously on "All Stars" - You'll be performing our very own VH1 Divas Live.
[ cheering .]
- Happy New Year, everybody.
[ all laugh .]
- Should be criminal Don't make sense for a bitch to be this endowed [ all laugh .]
- Kennedy.
- Janet is a very specific kind of move.
You could have worked a little harder.
- Thorgy Thor.
- I felt like I was looking at Thorgy with a blonde wig on.
- I was in character the entire time.
It's stupid.
[ sobs .]
- I think that's a lot of emotion for safe.
- Shangela, you're a winner, baby.
- Yay! Thank you.
- Which queen have you chosen to get the chop? - I know what it's like to come back to this competition and be sent home again without getting the crown.
The person I've chosen to send home Is Thorgy.
- Oh, Jesus.
Gross.
- Thorgy, sashay away.
- Whoo! - Oh, my God.
- Halle-loo, am I right, ladies? - That is not a halle-loo moment.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- [ laughs .]
- Oh! She put a penis and balls.
- Ms.
Thorgy drew the-- a very like, you know, a picture of what the [ laughs .]
She drew a picture.
- Wow.
- I don't like that.
No, that-- see, that makes me mad.
I don't like that.
That's just not right.
- She's a clown.
She's-- It's a joke, obviously.
- No, I don't get it.
- But because you're not a clown.
Well, you look like a clown right now, but-- - No, no, no.
That's not right at all.
- I'm devastated because I don't quite see Kennedy taking drag to an all star level quite like I thought Thorgy could.
That just means, I guess, Kennedy will have to be sent home next week.
- Maybe her feelings are hurt right now, so, you know, if that's how she feels, I don't hold it against her at all.
- I do.
- Here's to Thorgy, everybody.
We love you, Thorgy.
- Love you, Thorgy.
- Drag is fun! Drag is fun.
Thorgy was a sheet in the wind, Mama.
Whatever way it could've blown, she would've gone.
I need loyal people on my team, because, baby, if Daenerys is gonna conquer the seven kingdoms, she's gonna need allies.
Me and my dragons can't do it alone.
- All right, Ben.
Show us some lipstick.
- I also chose Thorgy.
- What did you base your decision on? - [ sighs .]
It was a really hard decision.
I mean, it was, like, at the final moment, like, the final determining factor, um - Oh, BenDeLa, I see the wheels turning.
She's calculating.
She's careful about every word she says because she has a reputation to uphold.
- I don't know.
Did you even say what your determining factor was? - Oh, why it's gotta be me? I was happy it was on you.
- You get $10,000, so you have to say it first.
- There's a lot of reasons, but, Thorgy, yes, she did have a smaller role, but there was opportunity for her, in my eyes, like mine, I had Mariah-- - But-- - Let me finish.
When I saw what I had, I put my own elements in there.
- Stevie is not current.
It's difficult to compare that to Mariah.
- Oh, I'm not comparing her to Mariah.
- I feel there were no gags in the music part of Stevie Nicks.
- Oh, Miss Big and Milky, honey.
Season 3, Shangy would have picked up my cocktail and threw it on that ho, but as Beyonce has taught me, I should be a more evolved, grown woman.
I just feel like I'm having to defend, not explain, my decision specifically to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Just let me know.
So tell me what choice would you have made? - I think I would have chosen Thorgy to stay.
I find Thorgy's concepts and her looks much more exciting.
- I mean, let's just not sit here and act like I didn't do shit to deserve to be called.
- I'm not saying that.
- Fuck my drag, right? Because basically that's what you saying, and you talking like I'm not even here.
If I'm not your cup of tea, then, baby, don't drink it, Miss Milk.
- Everybody's gonna go home basically, and we can't be sitting here getting mad about who's going home, who's not going home.
- It's not about mad, it's about being an adult.
- Step your pussy down, Kennedy.
Take a breath.
[ inhales .]
- The tension on this sofa is tight.
I'm so happy I'm not in this feud.
It seems like this divas' battle ain't over yet.
- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars" receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics, a coveted spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame, and a cash prize of $100,000.
With extra-special guest judges "UnREAL's" Constance Zimmer and Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman.
- RuPaul's Drag Race - May the best woman - Best woman win - Happy New Year, everybody.
- Hi, there.
- Oh, I guess we're going this way.
- Another day in the workroom.
You get up, you walk in, you step over the body of a dead friend, and you just move along.
- Who's sore? I am so sore.
This is what a two-time winner looks like, people.
- Two.
Two in a row, Ben.
- Well, but this is what I've learned from my first experience here is that every time you hear that you're in the top, that is the sound of that rollercoaster click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
And you never know when it's gonna go like this.
[ siren .]
- Hey! - Whoo! - Whoo! - She done already done had hers.
- Hey, um, can I steal you for a second? I'm starting to feel a real connection with you.
- Me, too! - But for this relationship to go to the next level, I just really need you to open up.
[ all laugh .]
- [ whispering .]
Rosebud.
- Oh, my God.
- Aah! - [ laughs .]
- Hello, hello, hello! - Hi! - Hi! - Hi, ladies! - Hi, Ru! - Oh, my goodness.
- Now, for this week's maxi challenge, you'll be improving your way through a funny little dating show we call "The Bitchelor.
" [ all laugh .]
- You'll be doing unscripted comedy with our bitchelor played by the dreamy star of "UnREAL," Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman.
- Ooh, yes! - Oh, yeah.
Now, to make things extra twisted, I'm going to assign each of you a date partner and a funny personality type to play.
Aja and Kennedy, you'll be going on a two-on-one date.
- All right.
- Kennedy, you'll be the party girl, and Aja, you'll be playing the super needy girl, so insecure it hurts.
- Oh.
- Trixie and Milk, you'll be working together.
Trixie, you'll be the fake bitch.
- All right.
- Milk, you'll be the psycho stalker.
- BeBe and BenDeLa, you'll go on a date with Jeffrey.
BenDeLaCreme, you'll be the cougar.
- Naturally.
- BeBe, you'll be the shy virgin.
- Oh.
- You tell everybody you're pure, but you secretly want to lose it.
And finally, Chi Chi and Shangela, you are our polyamorous duo.
[ all laugh .]
- Chi Chi, you're more into the bitchelor, and Shangela, you're more into Chi Chi.
- Hi, Boo.
- Now, remember, the first rule of improv is to always agree, to say yes to everything.
For example, when I ask "Does this Klein Epstein Parker suit make my ass look juicy?" You say All: Yes.
- You got it.
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best All Star win.
[ cheers and applause .]
- How do you feel about improv? - I do not consider myself, like, a comedian per se.
I'm excited.
In Season 1, we never had the opportunity to do improv.
The character I'm playing is the virgin, and I was, like, what about if this girl is an African princess? Come on, now.
You can just make her really funny.
I would like to approach my character like somebody fresh off the boat from Africa.
- Yeah.
- Because in our culture, it's like you have to be married to be able to, you know-- You have to be married to be able to have [ laughs .]
I mean, it's-- I can't even spell out the words because it's like this girl-- - But how would you establish the idea specifically of virginity other than that you're not married? I think that what they're gonna be looking for in here is gonna be like being so over the top with it.
- Right.
- What they want here is like campy, you know? - Yeah.
But this is hard to go extreme being a virgin and being shy.
- I'm feeling really worried about BeBe's choices around her character.
BeBe, up to this point, has just been kind of poised and regal, so we'll see if she can get down with being goofy.
If it were me, I would go with the more traditional kind of like like, buttoned-up Catholic, kind of like, "I only do anal because that still makes me a virgin" kind of thing.
- That would be very funny, honey, but no.
- I want my character to be so fucking crazy that she's like bat shit crazy, that she will do anything.
- And don't forget insecurity, too.
- Well, yeah, she's insecure.
- Yeah.
- But that's the point.
You're so insecure you become crazy.
- Okay.
- Like I will fake cry.
I will put some Visine tears.
[ cries .]
A needy girl is easy for me.
My strategy is to give you a lot of moaning, aww, and a lot of, like, crying sounds.
Aah! I'm just gonna be crazy and needy, kind of like a rich bitch, like, vibe.
- Ugh.
I don't think she understands her character not one bit.
- Rich bitch, religious fish.
I used to be a Christian for attention fish.
- [ sighs .]
- We don't know what he's gonna give us.
But whatever he says, we will think of the right response.
- Right.
And he's super dreamy.
- Oh, my God.
- And so I would stalk him, actually.
- Yeah.
No kidding.
- Psychotically.
I feel good about playing the stalker bitch because it's sort of like an easy transition into this role, because before I started dating my boyfriend, I stalked him on MySpace, and just, like, check out who his friends were, and that sort of led me to, like, becoming friends with his friends, and then being friends with his friends led me to meeting him.
So I'm very confident about my role as psycho stalker number one.
- Hi, what's your name? - Hi, I'm Chi Chi DeVayne, and, yeah.
I mean, I'm just--girl, I don't know how to do it.
- Come on, you got it, you got it.
- I don't consider myself to be a comedian or an actress and all that.
So looking at the other girls, I'm getting so intimidated.
Like, girl, are you going to be able to perform at that level? - How are you gonna play your character? - What do you mean? You--I mean-- - How's she gonna talk? How's she gonna act? - I am shittin bricks.
I don't know if I can come up with that kind of funny just right off the bat.
Hi, I'm, you know, Chi Chi DeVayne, and-- - Oh, she's the proper English.
- She might be from England, but she still sound like she from Crenshaw, too.
- Shangela's super funny and good at improv.
If anything, I can see her bulldozing Chi Chi.
I would not want to be in a group with Shangela to be honest with you.
- Yeah.
Do you think people say that about you and I? - [ laughs .]
Probably not.
When Celine doesn't win, she cries.
- After last week, I think I've learned that being safe is clearly not okay for me.
Even though I thought I was really impressive last week, I'm--now is the time to prove myself, and if I don't, and if I'm safe, then I'm probably gonna cry about it again.
- Coming up - Are you ready for the romantic adventure of your life? - Oh.
- Ooh, we here.
- Ooh.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Okay, places, everyone! Places, everyone! fuck it up.
Oh, and don't - I'm Jeffrey, and I'm here to find the love of my life.
This is not gonna be easy, but it never is in this game we call love.
- Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, are you ready for the romantic adventure of your life? - Oh, I just want this to be real, you know what I mean? - Oh, yeah.
I know exactly what you mean.
- Do I have something on my face? - Oh, look, here comes the first girl.
Good luck.
- Thanks, Ru.
- My name is BeBe Zahara Benet.
- Hi.
- And I'm all the way from Africa.
And I came to America to find my prince.
Hi, Jeffrey.
- You can look me in the eye, you know? - [ laughs .]
Ooh, he's a handsome man, and I bet you he has the big [ laughs .]
Oh.
Can I tell you a little secret? - Please, yes.
- I'm still a virgin.
I have a special flower.
- Well, maybe I can take a little sniff later.
- [ chuckles .]
- We'll see you inside.
Thank you.
That's totally unnecessary.
Wildly unnecessary.
Thank you very much, BeBe.
- Well, hello there, handsome.
- Whoa.
Wow.
- My name is BenDeLaCreme.
Who's a big boy? You're a big boy.
And I'm here to land me a boy-man.
I'm BenDeLaCreme.
- Nice to meet you BenDeLa.
Thank you.
- You don't have to call me BenDeLa.
- Okay.
What should I call you? - My friends call me Bedtime BD, because I like to tuck a big boy in night-night.
- [ laughs .]
- You can just go on inside to the house.
I'll meet you inside in a few minutes, all right? - Thank you so much! You're a beautiful driver.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, my God, that taxi was disgusting.
It smelled like a barn.
He was gross, he was late, he drove like a maniac.
Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel.
I'm 27 years old, and I'm from sunny West Hollywood.
And some people might say I'm fake, but those people are alcoholics.
He's not even that good looking.
I have to go.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God, you're even cuter in person than you are on TV.
- Oh, that's very sweet of you.
- You kind of have, like, this sexy, like, Denzel, like, Gilbert Godfried, like, but, like, sensual, do you know what I mean? - Uh - I like my men like I like my coffee incapable of loving me back.
[ sighs .]
Bye, Jason! Sorry, it's Jared.
- Jeff.
Jeffrey.
- I'm Milk.
I'm from New York City.
I kind of move around a lot in life for legal reasons.
Is it okay if I step out? I know this is less than 500 feet.
Some people say I'm, like, psycho, but I just say I'm really passionate about love.
[ giggles .]
- Nice to meet you-- Ooh, okay.
- I'm his biggest fan, and it's unreal to see the star of "UnREAL.
" I'm in love.
- I have to open it myself.
My name is Aja, and this is Woofy.
Woof.
Oh.
He's the only person who actually stays by my side.
Oh, my God! When I first saw Jeffrey, I just knew from that moment that I would do anything to have him.
I will kill someone.
Can you believe they made me open the door by myself? I didn't even close it.
Should I go close it? - I think maybe you better close it.
- I don't do anything for myself, but for you I'll do anything.
- Thank you, Aja.
It's a pleasure.
- You don't love me.
I'm gonna make you love me.
- Ooh, we here.
Ooh! Ooh, it's big.
Ooh, I hope he cute.
[ bleep .]
[ laughs .]
- Hi.
- My name is Kennedy.
I'm from West Dallas, and I'm here to meet my man.
Ooh, you is fine.
- Thank you.
- Ooh, yes, honey.
I love to party, too.
Hold on one second.
- Okay.
Okay, all right.
You come prepared.
- As I'm looking into Jeffrey's eyes, I just get so moist inside.
I gotta have his baby.
You better be watching.
Keep watching.
- [ laughs .]
- Mm! Honey, look at the sperm count on this one! Come on out here, baby.
- Ooh.
- I'm Shangela.
- And I'm Chi Chi.
- I am looking for love with my partner because we like to be polyamorous.
- I love limos.
- This is a very progressive coupling that's going on here.
- Oh, you have insurance? You said "Progressive.
" - No, I do.
- Now look at the size on this one.
- Ooh, he look like he got a big one, too.
- Yes, he does.
Let's measure it.
Yeah, she likes big heads.
- [ laughs .]
How is your head, by the way? - Oh, you have to ask my wife.
- Chi Chi and I usually have very good luck.
I mean, look at Chi Chi.
She's stacked like a brick house.
- I like bricks.
- We'll see you inside.
- It's nice to meet you both.
- Uh-huh.
- [ exhales .]
- Coming up - No, those are balls.
- [ laughs .]
- Have you ever taken out a catheter? - [ laughs .]
- My dream date is whatever mother wants me to have.
- Ugh.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- All right, ladies.
It's time for your two-on-one dates.
Stay in character, go with the flow, and don't talk over each other.
- This is the weirdest group of girls I have ever seen, and I like it.
I like weird.
- So how you feeling? - Well, I'm scared and a little bit horny.
- Nice.
Mm.
So are you ready for your two-on-one date? - I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Ru.
- Well, good luck.
- Ladies, are you hungry? - Oh, my goodness.
- I thought we could get to know each other over a couple snacks.
Oh, that's totally unnecessary, but thank you.
Would you like to try a chocolate-covered strawberry? This is one of my favorite delicacies.
- Let me just pull off my shoes, because a man cannot feed me with shoes on.
- Oh, right, right.
Oh, oh, that's beautiful.
- I'm just insatiable tonight.
I can't get enough.
- Oh, I can tell-- Oh, wow.
That looks delicious.
- [ laughs .]
- Oh, my gosh.
Oh! - This is perfect for a widdle baby wike you.
All pre-mashed.
- Jeffrey, look at me.
You like it? - Yes, you're beautiful, absolutely.
- [ giggles .]
- Gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- BeBe is just kind of there.
It'smeh.
- Have you ever taken out a catheter? - [ laughs .]
- I can't say that I have.
- BenDeLaCreme, she is old.
That is a dirty woman.
Mm-mm.
I don't know if you're looking for a woman like me, like the woman who is clean, clean down there.
- Are you looking for a woman that's clean or are you looking for a woman that's dirty? - Um - Remember, I already ate this once before.
- Yeah.
- [ laughs .]
- If Jeffrey needs a warm bosom to press himself against at night, I'm the wrong gal because these don't feel temperature.
We'll have a lot more opportunities to get to know each other later.
- I can't wait.
- Just don't come after 9:30 because that's when my Xanax kicks in.
- [ laughs .]
- My God, you are so funny.
Stop.
- Oh, ladies.
- Stop.
I said stop! You're literally killing me, you're so funny.
- I want to get to know you both a little bit better.
- [ laughs .]
- Is this your house? - Yes.
- Wait, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey.
- This is, like, the prettiest refurbished, like, Cheesecake Factory mall kiosk I have ever been to.
- Thank you very much.
- Do you remember when you wore these shirts on "UnREAL?" - Uh - You know this style.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
I've seen every episode of "UnREAL.
" I have like every-- - You don't know Jeffrey like I know Jeffrey.
[ whispering .]
The date's going really well.
Like, Jeffrey seems, like, really into me.
[ laughs .]
- Hold on.
I have to have to take this.
Yeah, I'm here now.
No.
She's like a weird forest girl.
- Do I come across as, like, crazy though? - Oh.
- Like, do I look crazy? - That's just a really strong word.
- He's like five-- - I can't handle it right now.
I can't handle it.
- You look different.
- Yeah? - I know Trixie is playing a fake bitch, but, baby, those facial expressions are real.
- Don't-- - [ laughs .]
- No, he's like a five.
He's like an L.
A.
two.
- Stop talking to me.
What? [ sighs .]
Oh, my God.
- If steam could come off a wig, she would have those little lines above her head where the heat is rising.
Miss Thing is hot that Milky is cutting her off.
[ laughs .]
- People call me psycho, but I don't think I'm psychotic.
I just think I'm really passionate about finding love.
- Yeah.
- While the leaves-- - And that's why I'm here.
- Me, too.
- The leaves in your hair are so fun, I wish you would leave.
- Milk is just going way overboard.
- It's been great, ladies.
It's been an incredible pleasure.
- [ sobs .]
Bye, Jerald.
- It's Jeffrey.
- We're gonna go on a date.
- This has been so much fun.
- Well, this ain't no party.
- No.
You know what , ladies? I thought we could take some time to chill out.
- That's so nice.
- Yeah.
- But you know what? I got the party right here.
Hold on.
- I don't get it.
- She does a lot of partying.
- Hold that.
- Yes, ma'am.
- You have one too, crazy.
- All right.
- [ babbles .]
- Don't be looking, boy.
- Oh.
- She brought drinks.
Oh, my God.
You're good for something.
- Hey, we have a party.
- You are a girl who knows how to party.
- We're gonna get drunk together.
- Can we propose to me finding the love I couldn't find within myself? Nobody's ever loved me like you before, and I'm so happy.
- That's really, really, really sad.
- [ cries .]
You think it's sad? - Oh, my God.
It's supposed to be insecure.
It's like a needy girl, not just crying.
- [ cries .]
- The only thing Aja's insecure about is this scene.
- We gonna make a toast to love.
- Yes.
- And your nice ass.
Jeffrey is so sexy.
Oh, my God.
If this doesn't work out, I'm probably gonna whoop the bitch that won and just take Jeffrey.
You is fine, boy.
Just being honest.
Baby, hold on.
- Your hands are greasy-- - You do this.
- Aah! - Oh.
- That's how you do that.
- [ laughs .]
- What about your past relationships? - All I had was a-- he turned out to be a crackhead.
And he stole all my shit out of my apartment, but I found him, though, and shot his ass.
- [ Michelle laughs .]
- Ladies, I wanna know something.
- What? - What? - What's your favorite part of my body? - That dick.
- [ laughs .]
- That's so vulgar.
My favorite part of your body is your everything.
- Hey, baby.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
- Kennedy is blowing my mind.
She is doing it.
- It's hot.
- Don't you have another bottle of alcohol? - It's hot, bitch.
It's hotter than shit.
- Then get out! - Is she okay? - I'm a man.
- [ laughs .]
- Ladies, I thought we would just take a little time to relax and unwind and take our clothes off.
- Are you into the whole polyamorous thing? - I'm open to everything.
- Oh, are you? We've been looking for somebody to be a little more open.
- I mean, how wide are you willing to go? So how did you two come together? - I think it was fate, right, Chi Chi? - Well, Mama found me, you know, at a strip club.
That's Mama.
Mama found me at a strip club.
- You've heard of sister wives? - Yeah.
- We are sister wives.
- Sister wives.
- Yeah, how about that? - Oh, my God, you just so - Here, touch me, too, though.
- Yeah, yeah.
Go for it.
- Mama said I could have real meat now.
- Oh.
[ laughs .]
- Let's see what's going on down in the meat department.
My mission while I'm here is to get me a nice, strong, firm plastic cup and get me some of that Jeffrey sperm in it so Chi Chi and I can make the family we've always wanted.
- [ laughs .]
- I ain't seen nothing that big and black in the water since I took you to Sea World.
Whoo! - Shamu.
- Oh, now those are balls! Those are big balls! - Shangela is so over the top with her persona, you know, and she's cracking her jokes.
- One of y'all needs to shave.
Nobody told me Bush was back in office.
- [ laughs .]
- Chi Chi's just drowning in the tub, honey.
- My dream date is whatever mother wants me to have.
- Ugh.
- We're a two-piece combo over here.
- All right.
- You wanna hang out with Sugar, then you gotta come through me.
- [ laughs .]
- If Jeffrey gets me and Shangela in the fantasy suite, it's going down.
[ laughs .]
- Chi Chi had a special question for you that she wanted to ask you.
- Go for it, Chi Chi.
- Chi Chi? - [ deep voice .]
Do you wanna have my baby? - Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Ladies, it's time for the most dramatic eggplant ceremony in herstory.
- Ladies, I just really want this love to be real, and, frankly, most of y'all scare the hell out of me.
Which is why I've decided to give this eggplant To Ru.
Will you accept my eggplant, Ru? - I will take all your eggplants.
- What? - No! - Way to go, RuPaul, way to go! - Bye-ee! Finally, this is my happily ever after.
Next stop, "Good Morning America.
" We'll do "Dancing with the Stars," and then we'll get divorced.
- Coming up - Milk, Milk, Milk.
It's just hurtful because I thought we were all better than that.
But y'all feelings is really hurt.
- I'm paying no attention.
That's dumb.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
Hi, guys.
Good morning.
- This week's runway is Wigs On Wigs On Wigs, inspired by Roxxxy Andrews.
- Welcome to another day at the office.
Aren't you feeling gorgeous? Aren't you feeling technically amazing? - Milk someday wants to have a challenge inspired by her, and I bet you next season there will be, like, this week on the runway you'll be crying because you're only safe.
[ laughs .]
- New day.
- New day.
- New day, sis.
- Y'all can't handle all this cuteness.
I'm about to feel real cute.
- I'm going through it.
I'm going through it in my head.
I mean, yesterday was bad.
On Season 8, I just doubted myself so much.
I often asked myself, like, what the hell are you doing here? And, like, how could I compete with girls like this, you know what I mean? These bitches have fabulous costumes, and I'm gonna walk out in a neon bathing suit.
So if it seems like I'm a little worried, I am.
That's why I'm quiet.
I'm distancing myself from the girls.
I thought that I had elevated my drag, but here we go again.
Like, what are you gonna say, like, what are you gonna do to, like, match these girls' energy and funniness? I'm just trying to keep a positive head.
I'm trying to keep smiling, but at the same time, I am nervous.
I don't want to go home.
I'm gonna show them that, you know, I have what it takes to go all the way.
- How are you? - I really, really wanna win a challenge.
I've never even been in the top, so I really hope today it can happen.
The first time I was on "Drag Race," I kinda just floated until I got flushed.
All people knew about me was that I did not excel at "Drag Race" and didn't win any challenges, and I never had my star moments.
This time I, like, have to change that.
I don't really, like, need validation, but, like, to have one good week here would really help the momentum for the rest, you know.
- I feel you.
- Being safe all the time you start to feel invisible.
In the real world, I'm Beyonce, but in the "Drag Race" world, I'm just a LaTavia.
It doesn't matter on "Drag Race" what you've done in the real world.
In these four fake brick walls, you are garbage until proven otherwise.
- Is there anybody that either of you are, like, concerned about? It's kind of hard to figure out who the bottom two are.
Like.
I feel like-- - Oh, let's say three.
Who would you think the three are? - I mean, if I were gonna say three, I would say Aja, Chi Chi, and possibly BeBe.
- What do you feel, Milk? - I'd have to agree with Ben.
- I feel like two out of three of those are correct, and my third variable one that I kept going back and forth on was between Aja's and yours.
- I'm not fazed by Shangela thinking that I may be in the bottom.
That's dumb.
So I'm just gonna turn my hearing aid down a little bit and just, like, let her speak, but I'm paying no attention.
I thought I killed it.
The idea of being in the top is so exciting.
- Well, halle-loo.
Oh, Miss Thing, I'm looking at her, like, you don't see the writing on the wall? Mama, she really thinks that she's in the top two on this one.
I'm cracked.
[ laughs .]
- Shit.
It's just hurtful because I thought we were all better than that.
- I think I would've chosen Thorgy to stay.
I find Thorgy's concepts and her look much more exciting.
- Fuck my drag, right? - Bitch, your feelings is really hurt.
- Yep.
- Kennedy is really upset because it wasn't right for Milk to say that Kennedy should have gone home because her looks weren't on point, because this is a competition about more than just your looks.
And Kennedy proved this week that she deserves to be here 100%.
- If you don't care about me and you don't care about my style of drag, you're entitled to that.
I'm upset at the fact that we work together a lot of times, and what's hurtful is when you feel like you have this certain relationship with your so-called sister, and you come to find out it's something else.
And they end up reading you like a dog and stuff, throwing you under the bus.
We stopped conversation after that.
- No.
Not even talk to me.
That's how I know when people ain't real.
I've worked with Milk before.
We've been on tour together, and I've never had a problem with Milk ever.
I've always liked working with her, but now you're treating me like you don't even know me.
I value people's friendship, I value sisterhood, and when I really like a person and then they really show me who they are, it's hurtful.
- What goes around always comes around.
- And that's what I believe.
You're right.
- I also feel, like, she's been, like, the most, like, kind of rude.
I just feel like sometimes she just doesn't give, like, some of us the time of the day, you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm.
- And I'm just like-- like, I think more so, like-- - Well, at least you notice it and saying it and not me.
- Yeah.
- I look at it like this.
I'm gonna still walk this runway in my dated as shit and my dated as shit is gonna help me go on and win this.
- Yeah.
- And that's how I see it.
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
- Coming up - I laughed so hard I cried.
- Your character was so spot on.
- If you're gonna be a bottom, at least be a power bottom.
- [ laughs .]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Covergirl, put the bass in your walk Covergirl, put the bass in your walk Head to toe, let your whole body talk Covergirl - Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.
" My wingwoman, Michelle Visage.
- Oh, my God, isn't everything better with wings? - Yeah.
Funny man Ross Mathews.
Are you a romantic? - In a power top kind of way, yeah.
- [ all laugh .]
- Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, did you survive a night with my girls? - Ru, I just got back from the free clinic, and we are good to go.
[ bell dings, all laugh .]
- And from "UnREAL," the fabulous Constance Zimmer.
Hi-ee.
- Hi-ee.
- This week we challenged our queens to make fools of themselves on a fake dating show, and tonight on the main stage, category is Wigs On Wigs On Wigs.
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best All Star win.
First up, BenDeLaCreme.
Oh, Michelle Visage.
[ all laugh .]
Oh, my goodness.
- What's a better way to reveal a wig under a wig than to reveal a wig that's three feet under the wig on my head? - Miss Rapunzel.
- Ooh! - What? - Somebody forgot to shave.
- Stroke it, honey.
- It's the natural look.
- BeBe Zahara Benet.
Oh, the Miss Thing dynasty.
- [ Michelle laughs .]
- Is that a Bump It in your hair, or are you just happy to see me? - She went all the way to Asia.
Yes, she doesn't only do goddess beauty.
She is a well-traveled gal, honey.
- Uh-oh, something's happening.
- Ooh! - Ooh! - I love a queen with big, black, hairy balls.
[ all laugh .]
- Who doesn't? - Trixie Mattel.
- Ooh, look who's here, Ru.
- It's Lady Bunny.
- Yes! - I'm Lady Bunny passed out on a deck chair in Palm Springs getting a sunburn, and then boom! - Ooh! - Oh, my God.
It's a Tatiana, same part, Dennis the Menace fantasy.
- Take another little piece of my hair now, baby.
[ all laugh .]
- Milk.
- Milkshake.
- Yeah.
- More like a creamsicle.
- Made entirely of little post-it notes.
- So the look I'm bringing to the runway is very sixties inspired, and the cut of the dress-- aah--my legs are killer.
- Yank it like a troll doll, honey.
[ all laugh .]
- Michelle, is that a good hombre or a bad hombre? - [ Michelle laughs .]
- Aja.
And amazing.
- I think she used too much hairspray.
[ all laugh .]
- Sis, I'm just feeling real kawaii.
That's "cute" in Japanese.
Like, you can't tell me [ bleep .]
right now because I feel like I just walked out of a Manga comic book.
- Ooh! - Oh! - Third wig's the charm.
- Don't take your wig off unless you've got another one underneath.
- That's right.
- And another one underneath that.
- Yeah.
LaGuardia, Newark, Kennedy Davenport.
Ch-ch-ch-chia [ all laugh .]
- That's a hair situation.
- Yeah.
- Ooh! - Ooh! - Take that, Carol Brady.
[ all laugh .]
- Let me tell you, I feel fine, honey.
I got on these three girdles, Miss Thing, and my waist is cinched, boo.
- What? Damn, girl.
- Somebody just graduated from the Lace Front Institute of Technology.
- Yes, LIT.
- LIT.
- It's lit.
- [ laughs .]
- Up next, Chi Chi DeVayne.
- Do I have something on my face? - If you like it, you better put a ring through it.
[ all laugh .]
- This outfit totally represents the new direction that Chi Chi is going.
- Hey.
- Oh, maintain.
- Oh, okay.
- I'm bringing you all this bayou princess.
I just hope the judges are eating it up.
- These have always brought me luck.
- Eyes up here.
- Where do you go? Oh, okay.
- Bye-ee.
- She's going that way.
- Shangela.
- Corn.
- Ru, is it me, or is she looking a bit husky? - I don't remember eating corn.
[ all laugh .]
- Corn is something that will forever be associated with me.
Look, I'm from the country, and I keep it real.
Nothing says that better than corn.
- Ooh.
- Oh, my goodness, popcorn.
- You want some boy butter on that? [ all laugh .]
- You don't have to ask me twice.
- There may be a kernel of truth to this dress.
- That's right, honey.
You better pop the corn and feed the children.
- G-M-Oh, no, you better don't.
[ all laugh .]
- Oh, that's so stupid.
- Coming up - You were constantly overshadowed.
- You were terrifying.
- What I got was a whiny brat.
- Those are really lovely words of encouragement.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Welcome, All Stars.
Based on your improv performances, and your "unbeweavable" main stage presentations, I've made some decisions.
Now, when I call your name, please step forward.
Shangela.
BeBe Zahara Benet.
You are safe.
Please step to the back of the stage.
- Thank you.
- The rest of you represent the tops and the bottoms of the week.
Now it's time for the judges' critiques.
First up, BenDeLaCreme.
- Hi.
- I loved the surprise wig skirt reveal.
It's tough to, like, shock us when we know it's Wigs On Wigs On Wigs.
We know what's gonna happen.
There's gonna be a wig under there.
But somehow you managed to shock me.
- Every piece you stripped off revealed another layer and another layer, and that's what you did in your performance, too.
You gave layers.
I laughed so hard I cried.
- As an actor, you gave me a lot to play with.
I had so much fun with you.
I was equally disgusted by you as I was turned on.
- I keep waiting for you to drop the ball, and you haven't dropped it yet.
- Those are really lovely words of encouragement.
- I wish nothing more than you shutting me up each time by not letting that ball or balls drop.
- Thank you, DeLa.
- Thank you.
- Up next, Trixie Mattel.
- Hi, guys.
- When you came out, I was feeling immediately like if Lady Bunny and Kesha had a baby.
- Were you doing Lady Bunny? What was that about? - I thought, can Lady Bunny become Naomi's balls? Turns out yes.
[ all laugh .]
- In "The Bitchelor," your character was so spot on.
It was basically Paris Hilton.
- I was very impressed from the second you walked out.
You were on the phone and you weren't paying attention, and it was like, oh, we know exactly who you are, and it was everything I wanted.
- But I felt like you were getting talked over a little bit.
- We were advised to try not to talk over each other.
It was kind of like jump roping.
I was kind of waiting sometimes for the moment.
- I felt you waiting.
- However, when you did get those lines in, they were hilarious.
- All right, well, thanks Trixie.
Up next, Milk.
- Hi.
- You look gorgeous tonight.
- Thank you.
- This is a great look for you.
- Thank you.
- In the wig reveal, I liked that there was another sort of reveal when you pulled the pony, like those dolls that I always that I always wanted that my parents wouldn't get me.
- Crissy Doll.
- Yeah, Crissy Doll.
- Crissy Doll's my favorite doll of all time, but we could see the black cup holder underneath the blonde hair.
- Yeah, it's dark root.
- In the challenge, you were terrifying.
- I know.
[ laughs .]
I was-- I was actually psycho.
- But it was the same note the whole time.
I kept hoping that you were going to pretend like you weren't a stalker and there wasn't anything wrong with what you were doing, and you're just a really nice, friendly person who happens to know everything about you.
Because there are times when less is more.
- Your foot was on the gas the whole time.
You were going so fast, you weren't sharing the stage.
- Up next, Aja.
- Hi.
- Tonight on the runway, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this right now was the best Aja has ever looked.
- Oh, thank you.
- From the second you walked out, I just said, what is that, and I need more.
- You're giving me street fighter couture, and it's incredible.
Yes, hyah.
- Win.
- So in "The Bitchelor," I didn't get needy girl at all, not even a little.
- Oh, my God.
- What I got was a whiny brat, and that is not the character.
- You were giving me more Cher Horowitz than Tai.
- Oh.
To me, needy has always been spoiled, but maybe I guess there is a difference.
- Needy is not spoiled.
- Yeah.
- They're two different things.
Needy is constantly needing somebody to be approving or to tell you how beautiful you are.
- Please love me, please tell me I'm pretty, that kind of insecure girl.
- It's exhausting to the person.
- Mm-hmm.
- I feel like I need to reevaluate the definition of needy now.
I was trying to give you, like, a little bit of, like, Farrah Moan meets, like, Kim Kardashian meets, like, kind of like crazy girlfriend.
Wah.
Like, that's what I was going for.
- Up next, Kennedy Davenport.
Helleer.
- Hi.
- On the runway tonight, it was gorgeous, and I think it was truly Davenport.
- It was spectacular.
The absolute polar opposite of the character you played on the show.
- The challenge, out of all of the girls, I had the hardest time keeping a straight face with you.
From the teeth to the tits to the ass, you were absolutely hilarious.
- I never think of you as like really a comedy queen, but you are.
- Well, she did win Snatch Game on her season.
- That's right.
- Why don't I think of you as comedy? - It's probably because of her criminal record.
[ all laugh .]
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Up next, Chi Chi DeVayne.
- Hey, y'all.
- You look beautiful tonight.
You took my breath away from the moment that you stepped out on the runway.
You just have an aura about you that is just so bright, it's really quite stunning.
- You have presence just standing here right now, but then in "The Bitchelor," you were constantly overshadowed.
- Shangela had joke after joke after joke, but you sort of were a spectator in the scene.
- In that hot tub, I wouldn't even have noticed that you were there until you were kissing up on his boobies.
- You gave it all away to Shangela.
I understand you were playing the bottom, but if you're gonna be a bottom, at least be a power bottom.
- Uh-huh.
- When you did have a moment, when you leaned over into his ear and said - [ deep voice .]
You wanna have my baby? - I mean, that was incredible.
Where was that for the rest of the show? - I don't know.
I don't--I don't know.
I went and I just felt like crap compared to all of these comedy queens, and I let it get to me.
I just got so intimidated, and it's frustrating because I don't want you to think that I don't want to be here and that I'm not trying.
I don't want to upset you for bringing me back.
I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm just so sorry that I'm not giving my 100.
I'm letting what they're doing affect me and just me not thinking that I'm worth it.
- Chi Chi, you're worth it.
You're worth it.
- Thank you, Chi Chi.
Now, based on the judges' critiques, I've made some decisions.
Kennedy Davenport, BenDeLaCreme, you are the top two All Stars of the week.
[ applause .]
Con-drag-ulations.
You've each won a suite of jewelry from Fierce! Drag Jewels and a $1,000 gift card from Nailed by Cristy.
Trixie Mattel, you are a totally fake bitch.
- [ chuckles .]
- And I loved it.
You are safe.
Milk, Aja, Chi Chi, you are in the bottom three.
DeLa and Kennedy, each of you needs to decide which of the bottom three you'll eliminate if you win the lip sync.
So while you queens deliberate in the workroom, the judges and I will be twisting balloon animals.
You may leave the stage.
- Coming up - I did not see this coming.
- Girl - I just don't think it's my time to go.
- Every week is just like [ imitates bomb dropping .]
turd city.
- I know what I have to do.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Lord.
Lord.
- A cocktail, please, Jesus.
- I've never been an alcoholic, but today I'm going in.
- Oh, I'm full on.
If I could black out right now, I would.
Well, here we are again with another elimination, and it's always a difficult decision.
I can attest to that more than anyone.
- I thought I would win, but that's okay.
- You thought you were gonna win? - I did.
I thought I would be in the top, and I was ready to do my little lip sync, do my little song, but I'll get, you know.
I thought I would be in the top, so I'm kind of trying to wrap my head around that.
I'm not gonna be safe and cry because that would be, you know, inappropriate, but - [ laughs .]
- Kennedy, the full redemption, sis.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Ben, you're also in the top two.
- Ben has won every single challenge since we got here.
- She going home next week.
[ all laugh .]
- Milk, you seem really quiet.
What's going through your head? - I'm crying about-- now I'm crying for a legit reason, being in the bottom, but I did not see this coming at all.
- Girl I think, like, Milk in a weird way, she works so much in her mind, almost like you convince yourself of something even if it's not the reality.
I don't know, maybe that's how she copes.
I mean, that performance, it's, like, how can you not tell? - I'm being penalized for going 100% full throttle, and I don't 100% agree with the critiques.
I thought Trixie and I had an amazing back and forth.
I really thought I killed that challenge.
- I don't know how she's this delusional.
How--somebody put something in her cocktail.
Cosby? [ laughs .]
- My question to the top two, we have three now in the bottom.
That's the gag of the season.
- They did it last season, too.
- Well, to me this is a gag.
[ all laugh .]
How are you going to assess the situation? The two of you, are you guys gonna do one on ones with the girls? - I decided not to.
I'm just gonna do what I've said from the beginning, and that's just assess the whole thing.
- Right.
- And just make my own professional decision.
I do feel like playing a fair game, and y'all already been crying and shit.
- That sort of comes as a shock.
Is it 'cause she's already made up her mind? Is it 'cause she doesn't want to allude to what she's about to do? I mean, it doesn't scare me because she's a smart individual who sees it as a whole.
- M'lady, how you feeling? - You know, it doesn't feel great to be in the bottom, but I feel like I've been doing well in the competition so far, so I feel like this is just, like, a minor slip, and it happens.
- Yeah.
I mean, I think you've been phenomenal.
- I just don't think it's my time to go.
I think DeLa is going to judge the bottom three based on our track records.
So I know I'm safe because I won the first challenge.
Milk has been safe the whole time, but Chi Chi has been statistically doing the worst every single week.
I mean, you put it together.
- When I got here, I thought I had this in the bag, you know what I mean? Like, ain't none of these bitches gonna to upstage me, you know what I mean? Like, I got these looks together, baby.
I'm going back in this thing, you know what I mean? And every week is just like [ imitates bomb dropping .]
turd city.
I let this challenge, like, diminish my spark and question myself whether I can do this or not.
I know shit bring me down, you know what I mean? - But it happens to all of us.
You just gotta-- it's how quickly you can turn it around and get back up.
- I've been in the bottom three times, and I'm beginning to question is this the right time for me? Maybe I should have been on All Stars 4, you know what I mean? Or maybe I should have popped out of a box like Shangela on Season 10.
I don't think I'm ready to be here at All Stars.
- Hi, Chi Chi.
How you feeling? - Girl, I mean-- - Here we are again.
- Here we go again, you know, and, like, I don't know.
I don't know if I have what it takes to go all the way.
- Yeah.
- And I hate to say that, you know.
I want to be here just as bad as everybody else does.
- Yeah.
- But I'm so friggin' intimidated right now.
I feel like the life has been sucked out of Chi Chi, and, like, me personally, I don't care what they say, don't say this and don't say that, but to me, the right decision is to be fair, you know what I mean? - The reality is that the only thing that dampens your confidence is-- - Accepting what somebody else is saying.
- Exactly.
- [ sighs .]
Just make the right decision.
- Deciding who to send home is always super hard.
No matter what anybody says about whether they're ready for their time to go, there's nobody who didn't fight very hard to be here and doesn't continue to fight once they walk through that door.
- Big and Milky.
- Fire me up.
- Well, the thing is, I'd like to be very honest about the whole situation, guys.
Like, everybody just trying to be so, like, sugar coat, coo coo coo, woo woo woo woo woo.
Milk is saying, like, I thought I was going to be in the top.
To me, I thought that the top was going to be you and Kennedy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- But you are the fakest bitch alive.
- Yeah.
- And to be fair, you probably would have been in the top two had you been able to land all the things that you were looking to land.
- Right.
- Yeah.
It was so hard, you guys, because he was just-- he was, like, yelling the whole time.
- Yeah.
- He's, like, big and I'm like, ba da ba da.
It doesn't, like-- And I could feel you guys' energy in the moment.
I was, like, fuck.
- How are you? - I'm in the bottom three.
Like, what the fuck? - Yeah.
- It's--I don't know.
It's a shitty, shitty situation.
To be in the bottom three with two queens that didn't give a 100%, that were bulldozed by their scene partner, and then there's me.
I haven't made sense of it all yet.
Obviously this isn't my thing.
I'm not super into comedy, and so I thought that being that way and succeeding in a way, that it would be, like, wow, Milk, you did it.
Just know that I want to be here, know that I want to continue.
The judges actually want me to continue in this competition.
The other queens respect me and they want me to be here.
I am not on the level of these bottom queens, and to be compared to them, it pisses me off.
But I'm feeling confident.
Make good decisions.
- Nope.
Never have, never will.
- Oh, my God, this is so much fun.
- Oh, my God, I love it.
I made a dog.
- [ laughs .]
- I got lip and I got lips.
- Oh, wow, that is hilarious.
- [ normal voice .]
Whee, this is so fun.
- I didn't know the balloons had helium in them.
- They don't.
- Well, that's awkward.
Silence.
[ pop .]
Oh.
- Bring back my All Stars.
- Having to eliminate somebody is not a good feeling, but this is part of the game.
I look at the whole picture.
I just don't look at the performance or just what the judge's say.
You gotta take everything into account, so I know what I have to do.
- Tonight the decision is between three people, and that just complicates things more.
There are reasons that every girl has to stay and there are ways in which every girl didn't show up for the competition this week.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Welcome back, ladies.
Two top All Stars stand before me.
Ladies, this is your chance to impress me, win $10,000 and earn the power to give one of the bottom queens the chop.
The time has come [ thunder .]
to lip sync [ echoing .]
for your legacy.
- I know that I shouldn't camp this one up because I need to show the judges that I can do different things.
This is my third lip sync, and if I don't win this one, then I'm at a negative two to one ratio.
- Good luck and don't fuck it up.
- I do my makeup in somebody else's car We order different drinks at the same bars I know about what you did And I wanna scream the truth She thinks you love the beach You're such a damn liar Those great whites, they have big teeth Oh, they bite you Thought you said that you would always be in love But you're not in love no more Did it frighten you How we kissed when we danced on the light up floor? On the light up floor Sometimes I wake up in a different bedroom I whisper things, the city sings 'em back to you All those rumors, they have big teeth But I hear sounds in my mind - Whoo! All right.
- Brand new sounds in my mind But, honey, I'll be seein' you down every road - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it - 'Cause, honey, I'll come get my things But I can't let go - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it - 'Cause, honey, I'll come get my things But I can't let go - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it - Yes, honey, I'll come get my things But I can't let go - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it [ cheers and applause .]
- Ladies, I've made my decision.
Kennedy Davenport you're a winner, baby.
- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo! - Con-drag-ulations.
You've earned a cash tip of $10,000.
- Thank you.
- BenDeLaCreme, you are safe.
[ applause .]
- Good job, Ben.
- Will the bottom three please step forward? Kennedy, with great power comes great responsibility.
Which queen have you chosen to get the chop? - Oh.
It was very hard.
I had to really think about everything that was going on on and off screen to make my decision, and I take that wholeheartedly as a professional.
So I chose Milk.
- Milk, as it is written, so it shall be done.
You are and will always be an All Star.
Now sashay away.
- Thank you so much for bringing me back.
I will continue to make you proud.
I will do things that nobody else has ever done.
[ applause .]
At this point in the game, me holding this It's stupid.
The fact that I was eliminated even though another queen had been in the bottom three times dumb.
I know a lot of girls think it's unfair for them to be going home, but [ sighs .]
I just don't see how this was my week.
Watching the episode-- [ bell rings .]
Ding.
- Milk! - Oh, gosh.
- Blessed be, kitty girl.
You haven't seen the last of me, Wagon Wheel Watusi.
- What does that mean? Is somebody gonna tell me? Damn it.
[ chuckles .]
- Next time on "All Stars" It's time to play Snatch Game.
[ cheering .]
Look who's here! - Hi, guys.
[ cheering .]
It's Marc Jacobs.
- You look like a fudgsicle dipped in flowers.
- You and I will meet in a back alley somewhere.
- Oh, face crack.
- Well, can I trust you, bitch? - Ooh, this is so juicy! - At the end of the day, that type of shit don't supposed to fly.
The struggle was real on my end.
[ cheering .]
- Happy New Year, everybody.
[ all laugh .]
- Should be criminal Don't make sense for a bitch to be this endowed [ all laugh .]
- Kennedy.
- Janet is a very specific kind of move.
You could have worked a little harder.
- Thorgy Thor.
- I felt like I was looking at Thorgy with a blonde wig on.
- I was in character the entire time.
It's stupid.
[ sobs .]
- I think that's a lot of emotion for safe.
- Shangela, you're a winner, baby.
- Yay! Thank you.
- Which queen have you chosen to get the chop? - I know what it's like to come back to this competition and be sent home again without getting the crown.
The person I've chosen to send home Is Thorgy.
- Oh, Jesus.
Gross.
- Thorgy, sashay away.
- Whoo! - Oh, my God.
- Halle-loo, am I right, ladies? - That is not a halle-loo moment.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- [ laughs .]
- Oh! She put a penis and balls.
- Ms.
Thorgy drew the-- a very like, you know, a picture of what the [ laughs .]
She drew a picture.
- Wow.
- I don't like that.
No, that-- see, that makes me mad.
I don't like that.
That's just not right.
- She's a clown.
She's-- It's a joke, obviously.
- No, I don't get it.
- But because you're not a clown.
Well, you look like a clown right now, but-- - No, no, no.
That's not right at all.
- I'm devastated because I don't quite see Kennedy taking drag to an all star level quite like I thought Thorgy could.
That just means, I guess, Kennedy will have to be sent home next week.
- Maybe her feelings are hurt right now, so, you know, if that's how she feels, I don't hold it against her at all.
- I do.
- Here's to Thorgy, everybody.
We love you, Thorgy.
- Love you, Thorgy.
- Drag is fun! Drag is fun.
Thorgy was a sheet in the wind, Mama.
Whatever way it could've blown, she would've gone.
I need loyal people on my team, because, baby, if Daenerys is gonna conquer the seven kingdoms, she's gonna need allies.
Me and my dragons can't do it alone.
- All right, Ben.
Show us some lipstick.
- I also chose Thorgy.
- What did you base your decision on? - [ sighs .]
It was a really hard decision.
I mean, it was, like, at the final moment, like, the final determining factor, um - Oh, BenDeLa, I see the wheels turning.
She's calculating.
She's careful about every word she says because she has a reputation to uphold.
- I don't know.
Did you even say what your determining factor was? - Oh, why it's gotta be me? I was happy it was on you.
- You get $10,000, so you have to say it first.
- There's a lot of reasons, but, Thorgy, yes, she did have a smaller role, but there was opportunity for her, in my eyes, like mine, I had Mariah-- - But-- - Let me finish.
When I saw what I had, I put my own elements in there.
- Stevie is not current.
It's difficult to compare that to Mariah.
- Oh, I'm not comparing her to Mariah.
- I feel there were no gags in the music part of Stevie Nicks.
- Oh, Miss Big and Milky, honey.
Season 3, Shangy would have picked up my cocktail and threw it on that ho, but as Beyonce has taught me, I should be a more evolved, grown woman.
I just feel like I'm having to defend, not explain, my decision specifically to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Just let me know.
So tell me what choice would you have made? - I think I would have chosen Thorgy to stay.
I find Thorgy's concepts and her looks much more exciting.
- I mean, let's just not sit here and act like I didn't do shit to deserve to be called.
- I'm not saying that.
- Fuck my drag, right? Because basically that's what you saying, and you talking like I'm not even here.
If I'm not your cup of tea, then, baby, don't drink it, Miss Milk.
- Everybody's gonna go home basically, and we can't be sitting here getting mad about who's going home, who's not going home.
- It's not about mad, it's about being an adult.
- Step your pussy down, Kennedy.
Take a breath.
[ inhales .]
- The tension on this sofa is tight.
I'm so happy I'm not in this feud.
It seems like this divas' battle ain't over yet.
- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars" receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics, a coveted spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame, and a cash prize of $100,000.
With extra-special guest judges "UnREAL's" Constance Zimmer and Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman.
- RuPaul's Drag Race - May the best woman - Best woman win - Happy New Year, everybody.
- Hi, there.
- Oh, I guess we're going this way.
- Another day in the workroom.
You get up, you walk in, you step over the body of a dead friend, and you just move along.
- Who's sore? I am so sore.
This is what a two-time winner looks like, people.
- Two.
Two in a row, Ben.
- Well, but this is what I've learned from my first experience here is that every time you hear that you're in the top, that is the sound of that rollercoaster click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
And you never know when it's gonna go like this.
[ siren .]
- Hey! - Whoo! - Whoo! - She done already done had hers.
- Hey, um, can I steal you for a second? I'm starting to feel a real connection with you.
- Me, too! - But for this relationship to go to the next level, I just really need you to open up.
[ all laugh .]
- [ whispering .]
Rosebud.
- Oh, my God.
- Aah! - [ laughs .]
- Hello, hello, hello! - Hi! - Hi! - Hi, ladies! - Hi, Ru! - Oh, my goodness.
- Now, for this week's maxi challenge, you'll be improving your way through a funny little dating show we call "The Bitchelor.
" [ all laugh .]
- You'll be doing unscripted comedy with our bitchelor played by the dreamy star of "UnREAL," Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman.
- Ooh, yes! - Oh, yeah.
Now, to make things extra twisted, I'm going to assign each of you a date partner and a funny personality type to play.
Aja and Kennedy, you'll be going on a two-on-one date.
- All right.
- Kennedy, you'll be the party girl, and Aja, you'll be playing the super needy girl, so insecure it hurts.
- Oh.
- Trixie and Milk, you'll be working together.
Trixie, you'll be the fake bitch.
- All right.
- Milk, you'll be the psycho stalker.
- BeBe and BenDeLa, you'll go on a date with Jeffrey.
BenDeLaCreme, you'll be the cougar.
- Naturally.
- BeBe, you'll be the shy virgin.
- Oh.
- You tell everybody you're pure, but you secretly want to lose it.
And finally, Chi Chi and Shangela, you are our polyamorous duo.
[ all laugh .]
- Chi Chi, you're more into the bitchelor, and Shangela, you're more into Chi Chi.
- Hi, Boo.
- Now, remember, the first rule of improv is to always agree, to say yes to everything.
For example, when I ask "Does this Klein Epstein Parker suit make my ass look juicy?" You say All: Yes.
- You got it.
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best All Star win.
[ cheers and applause .]
- How do you feel about improv? - I do not consider myself, like, a comedian per se.
I'm excited.
In Season 1, we never had the opportunity to do improv.
The character I'm playing is the virgin, and I was, like, what about if this girl is an African princess? Come on, now.
You can just make her really funny.
I would like to approach my character like somebody fresh off the boat from Africa.
- Yeah.
- Because in our culture, it's like you have to be married to be able to, you know-- You have to be married to be able to have [ laughs .]
I mean, it's-- I can't even spell out the words because it's like this girl-- - But how would you establish the idea specifically of virginity other than that you're not married? I think that what they're gonna be looking for in here is gonna be like being so over the top with it.
- Right.
- What they want here is like campy, you know? - Yeah.
But this is hard to go extreme being a virgin and being shy.
- I'm feeling really worried about BeBe's choices around her character.
BeBe, up to this point, has just been kind of poised and regal, so we'll see if she can get down with being goofy.
If it were me, I would go with the more traditional kind of like like, buttoned-up Catholic, kind of like, "I only do anal because that still makes me a virgin" kind of thing.
- That would be very funny, honey, but no.
- I want my character to be so fucking crazy that she's like bat shit crazy, that she will do anything.
- And don't forget insecurity, too.
- Well, yeah, she's insecure.
- Yeah.
- But that's the point.
You're so insecure you become crazy.
- Okay.
- Like I will fake cry.
I will put some Visine tears.
[ cries .]
A needy girl is easy for me.
My strategy is to give you a lot of moaning, aww, and a lot of, like, crying sounds.
Aah! I'm just gonna be crazy and needy, kind of like a rich bitch, like, vibe.
- Ugh.
I don't think she understands her character not one bit.
- Rich bitch, religious fish.
I used to be a Christian for attention fish.
- [ sighs .]
- We don't know what he's gonna give us.
But whatever he says, we will think of the right response.
- Right.
And he's super dreamy.
- Oh, my God.
- And so I would stalk him, actually.
- Yeah.
No kidding.
- Psychotically.
I feel good about playing the stalker bitch because it's sort of like an easy transition into this role, because before I started dating my boyfriend, I stalked him on MySpace, and just, like, check out who his friends were, and that sort of led me to, like, becoming friends with his friends, and then being friends with his friends led me to meeting him.
So I'm very confident about my role as psycho stalker number one.
- Hi, what's your name? - Hi, I'm Chi Chi DeVayne, and, yeah.
I mean, I'm just--girl, I don't know how to do it.
- Come on, you got it, you got it.
- I don't consider myself to be a comedian or an actress and all that.
So looking at the other girls, I'm getting so intimidated.
Like, girl, are you going to be able to perform at that level? - How are you gonna play your character? - What do you mean? You--I mean-- - How's she gonna talk? How's she gonna act? - I am shittin bricks.
I don't know if I can come up with that kind of funny just right off the bat.
Hi, I'm, you know, Chi Chi DeVayne, and-- - Oh, she's the proper English.
- She might be from England, but she still sound like she from Crenshaw, too.
- Shangela's super funny and good at improv.
If anything, I can see her bulldozing Chi Chi.
I would not want to be in a group with Shangela to be honest with you.
- Yeah.
Do you think people say that about you and I? - [ laughs .]
Probably not.
When Celine doesn't win, she cries.
- After last week, I think I've learned that being safe is clearly not okay for me.
Even though I thought I was really impressive last week, I'm--now is the time to prove myself, and if I don't, and if I'm safe, then I'm probably gonna cry about it again.
- Coming up - Are you ready for the romantic adventure of your life? - Oh.
- Ooh, we here.
- Ooh.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Okay, places, everyone! Places, everyone! fuck it up.
Oh, and don't - I'm Jeffrey, and I'm here to find the love of my life.
This is not gonna be easy, but it never is in this game we call love.
- Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, are you ready for the romantic adventure of your life? - Oh, I just want this to be real, you know what I mean? - Oh, yeah.
I know exactly what you mean.
- Do I have something on my face? - Oh, look, here comes the first girl.
Good luck.
- Thanks, Ru.
- My name is BeBe Zahara Benet.
- Hi.
- And I'm all the way from Africa.
And I came to America to find my prince.
Hi, Jeffrey.
- You can look me in the eye, you know? - [ laughs .]
Ooh, he's a handsome man, and I bet you he has the big [ laughs .]
Oh.
Can I tell you a little secret? - Please, yes.
- I'm still a virgin.
I have a special flower.
- Well, maybe I can take a little sniff later.
- [ chuckles .]
- We'll see you inside.
Thank you.
That's totally unnecessary.
Wildly unnecessary.
Thank you very much, BeBe.
- Well, hello there, handsome.
- Whoa.
Wow.
- My name is BenDeLaCreme.
Who's a big boy? You're a big boy.
And I'm here to land me a boy-man.
I'm BenDeLaCreme.
- Nice to meet you BenDeLa.
Thank you.
- You don't have to call me BenDeLa.
- Okay.
What should I call you? - My friends call me Bedtime BD, because I like to tuck a big boy in night-night.
- [ laughs .]
- You can just go on inside to the house.
I'll meet you inside in a few minutes, all right? - Thank you so much! You're a beautiful driver.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, my God, that taxi was disgusting.
It smelled like a barn.
He was gross, he was late, he drove like a maniac.
Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel.
I'm 27 years old, and I'm from sunny West Hollywood.
And some people might say I'm fake, but those people are alcoholics.
He's not even that good looking.
I have to go.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God, you're even cuter in person than you are on TV.
- Oh, that's very sweet of you.
- You kind of have, like, this sexy, like, Denzel, like, Gilbert Godfried, like, but, like, sensual, do you know what I mean? - Uh - I like my men like I like my coffee incapable of loving me back.
[ sighs .]
Bye, Jason! Sorry, it's Jared.
- Jeff.
Jeffrey.
- I'm Milk.
I'm from New York City.
I kind of move around a lot in life for legal reasons.
Is it okay if I step out? I know this is less than 500 feet.
Some people say I'm, like, psycho, but I just say I'm really passionate about love.
[ giggles .]
- Nice to meet you-- Ooh, okay.
- I'm his biggest fan, and it's unreal to see the star of "UnREAL.
" I'm in love.
- I have to open it myself.
My name is Aja, and this is Woofy.
Woof.
Oh.
He's the only person who actually stays by my side.
Oh, my God! When I first saw Jeffrey, I just knew from that moment that I would do anything to have him.
I will kill someone.
Can you believe they made me open the door by myself? I didn't even close it.
Should I go close it? - I think maybe you better close it.
- I don't do anything for myself, but for you I'll do anything.
- Thank you, Aja.
It's a pleasure.
- You don't love me.
I'm gonna make you love me.
- Ooh, we here.
Ooh! Ooh, it's big.
Ooh, I hope he cute.
[ bleep .]
[ laughs .]
- Hi.
- My name is Kennedy.
I'm from West Dallas, and I'm here to meet my man.
Ooh, you is fine.
- Thank you.
- Ooh, yes, honey.
I love to party, too.
Hold on one second.
- Okay.
Okay, all right.
You come prepared.
- As I'm looking into Jeffrey's eyes, I just get so moist inside.
I gotta have his baby.
You better be watching.
Keep watching.
- [ laughs .]
- Mm! Honey, look at the sperm count on this one! Come on out here, baby.
- Ooh.
- I'm Shangela.
- And I'm Chi Chi.
- I am looking for love with my partner because we like to be polyamorous.
- I love limos.
- This is a very progressive coupling that's going on here.
- Oh, you have insurance? You said "Progressive.
" - No, I do.
- Now look at the size on this one.
- Ooh, he look like he got a big one, too.
- Yes, he does.
Let's measure it.
Yeah, she likes big heads.
- [ laughs .]
How is your head, by the way? - Oh, you have to ask my wife.
- Chi Chi and I usually have very good luck.
I mean, look at Chi Chi.
She's stacked like a brick house.
- I like bricks.
- We'll see you inside.
- It's nice to meet you both.
- Uh-huh.
- [ exhales .]
- Coming up - No, those are balls.
- [ laughs .]
- Have you ever taken out a catheter? - [ laughs .]
- My dream date is whatever mother wants me to have.
- Ugh.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- All right, ladies.
It's time for your two-on-one dates.
Stay in character, go with the flow, and don't talk over each other.
- This is the weirdest group of girls I have ever seen, and I like it.
I like weird.
- So how you feeling? - Well, I'm scared and a little bit horny.
- Nice.
Mm.
So are you ready for your two-on-one date? - I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Ru.
- Well, good luck.
- Ladies, are you hungry? - Oh, my goodness.
- I thought we could get to know each other over a couple snacks.
Oh, that's totally unnecessary, but thank you.
Would you like to try a chocolate-covered strawberry? This is one of my favorite delicacies.
- Let me just pull off my shoes, because a man cannot feed me with shoes on.
- Oh, right, right.
Oh, oh, that's beautiful.
- I'm just insatiable tonight.
I can't get enough.
- Oh, I can tell-- Oh, wow.
That looks delicious.
- [ laughs .]
- Oh, my gosh.
Oh! - This is perfect for a widdle baby wike you.
All pre-mashed.
- Jeffrey, look at me.
You like it? - Yes, you're beautiful, absolutely.
- [ giggles .]
- Gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- BeBe is just kind of there.
It'smeh.
- Have you ever taken out a catheter? - [ laughs .]
- I can't say that I have.
- BenDeLaCreme, she is old.
That is a dirty woman.
Mm-mm.
I don't know if you're looking for a woman like me, like the woman who is clean, clean down there.
- Are you looking for a woman that's clean or are you looking for a woman that's dirty? - Um - Remember, I already ate this once before.
- Yeah.
- [ laughs .]
- If Jeffrey needs a warm bosom to press himself against at night, I'm the wrong gal because these don't feel temperature.
We'll have a lot more opportunities to get to know each other later.
- I can't wait.
- Just don't come after 9:30 because that's when my Xanax kicks in.
- [ laughs .]
- My God, you are so funny.
Stop.
- Oh, ladies.
- Stop.
I said stop! You're literally killing me, you're so funny.
- I want to get to know you both a little bit better.
- [ laughs .]
- Is this your house? - Yes.
- Wait, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey.
- This is, like, the prettiest refurbished, like, Cheesecake Factory mall kiosk I have ever been to.
- Thank you very much.
- Do you remember when you wore these shirts on "UnREAL?" - Uh - You know this style.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
I've seen every episode of "UnREAL.
" I have like every-- - You don't know Jeffrey like I know Jeffrey.
[ whispering .]
The date's going really well.
Like, Jeffrey seems, like, really into me.
[ laughs .]
- Hold on.
I have to have to take this.
Yeah, I'm here now.
No.
She's like a weird forest girl.
- Do I come across as, like, crazy though? - Oh.
- Like, do I look crazy? - That's just a really strong word.
- He's like five-- - I can't handle it right now.
I can't handle it.
- You look different.
- Yeah? - I know Trixie is playing a fake bitch, but, baby, those facial expressions are real.
- Don't-- - [ laughs .]
- No, he's like a five.
He's like an L.
A.
two.
- Stop talking to me.
What? [ sighs .]
Oh, my God.
- If steam could come off a wig, she would have those little lines above her head where the heat is rising.
Miss Thing is hot that Milky is cutting her off.
[ laughs .]
- People call me psycho, but I don't think I'm psychotic.
I just think I'm really passionate about finding love.
- Yeah.
- While the leaves-- - And that's why I'm here.
- Me, too.
- The leaves in your hair are so fun, I wish you would leave.
- Milk is just going way overboard.
- It's been great, ladies.
It's been an incredible pleasure.
- [ sobs .]
Bye, Jerald.
- It's Jeffrey.
- We're gonna go on a date.
- This has been so much fun.
- Well, this ain't no party.
- No.
You know what , ladies? I thought we could take some time to chill out.
- That's so nice.
- Yeah.
- But you know what? I got the party right here.
Hold on.
- I don't get it.
- She does a lot of partying.
- Hold that.
- Yes, ma'am.
- You have one too, crazy.
- All right.
- [ babbles .]
- Don't be looking, boy.
- Oh.
- She brought drinks.
Oh, my God.
You're good for something.
- Hey, we have a party.
- You are a girl who knows how to party.
- We're gonna get drunk together.
- Can we propose to me finding the love I couldn't find within myself? Nobody's ever loved me like you before, and I'm so happy.
- That's really, really, really sad.
- [ cries .]
You think it's sad? - Oh, my God.
It's supposed to be insecure.
It's like a needy girl, not just crying.
- [ cries .]
- The only thing Aja's insecure about is this scene.
- We gonna make a toast to love.
- Yes.
- And your nice ass.
Jeffrey is so sexy.
Oh, my God.
If this doesn't work out, I'm probably gonna whoop the bitch that won and just take Jeffrey.
You is fine, boy.
Just being honest.
Baby, hold on.
- Your hands are greasy-- - You do this.
- Aah! - Oh.
- That's how you do that.
- [ laughs .]
- What about your past relationships? - All I had was a-- he turned out to be a crackhead.
And he stole all my shit out of my apartment, but I found him, though, and shot his ass.
- [ Michelle laughs .]
- Ladies, I wanna know something.
- What? - What? - What's your favorite part of my body? - That dick.
- [ laughs .]
- That's so vulgar.
My favorite part of your body is your everything.
- Hey, baby.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
- Kennedy is blowing my mind.
She is doing it.
- It's hot.
- Don't you have another bottle of alcohol? - It's hot, bitch.
It's hotter than shit.
- Then get out! - Is she okay? - I'm a man.
- [ laughs .]
- Ladies, I thought we would just take a little time to relax and unwind and take our clothes off.
- Are you into the whole polyamorous thing? - I'm open to everything.
- Oh, are you? We've been looking for somebody to be a little more open.
- I mean, how wide are you willing to go? So how did you two come together? - I think it was fate, right, Chi Chi? - Well, Mama found me, you know, at a strip club.
That's Mama.
Mama found me at a strip club.
- You've heard of sister wives? - Yeah.
- We are sister wives.
- Sister wives.
- Yeah, how about that? - Oh, my God, you just so - Here, touch me, too, though.
- Yeah, yeah.
Go for it.
- Mama said I could have real meat now.
- Oh.
[ laughs .]
- Let's see what's going on down in the meat department.
My mission while I'm here is to get me a nice, strong, firm plastic cup and get me some of that Jeffrey sperm in it so Chi Chi and I can make the family we've always wanted.
- [ laughs .]
- I ain't seen nothing that big and black in the water since I took you to Sea World.
Whoo! - Shamu.
- Oh, now those are balls! Those are big balls! - Shangela is so over the top with her persona, you know, and she's cracking her jokes.
- One of y'all needs to shave.
Nobody told me Bush was back in office.
- [ laughs .]
- Chi Chi's just drowning in the tub, honey.
- My dream date is whatever mother wants me to have.
- Ugh.
- We're a two-piece combo over here.
- All right.
- You wanna hang out with Sugar, then you gotta come through me.
- [ laughs .]
- If Jeffrey gets me and Shangela in the fantasy suite, it's going down.
[ laughs .]
- Chi Chi had a special question for you that she wanted to ask you.
- Go for it, Chi Chi.
- Chi Chi? - [ deep voice .]
Do you wanna have my baby? - Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Ladies, it's time for the most dramatic eggplant ceremony in herstory.
- Ladies, I just really want this love to be real, and, frankly, most of y'all scare the hell out of me.
Which is why I've decided to give this eggplant To Ru.
Will you accept my eggplant, Ru? - I will take all your eggplants.
- What? - No! - Way to go, RuPaul, way to go! - Bye-ee! Finally, this is my happily ever after.
Next stop, "Good Morning America.
" We'll do "Dancing with the Stars," and then we'll get divorced.
- Coming up - Milk, Milk, Milk.
It's just hurtful because I thought we were all better than that.
But y'all feelings is really hurt.
- I'm paying no attention.
That's dumb.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
Hi, guys.
Good morning.
- This week's runway is Wigs On Wigs On Wigs, inspired by Roxxxy Andrews.
- Welcome to another day at the office.
Aren't you feeling gorgeous? Aren't you feeling technically amazing? - Milk someday wants to have a challenge inspired by her, and I bet you next season there will be, like, this week on the runway you'll be crying because you're only safe.
[ laughs .]
- New day.
- New day.
- New day, sis.
- Y'all can't handle all this cuteness.
I'm about to feel real cute.
- I'm going through it.
I'm going through it in my head.
I mean, yesterday was bad.
On Season 8, I just doubted myself so much.
I often asked myself, like, what the hell are you doing here? And, like, how could I compete with girls like this, you know what I mean? These bitches have fabulous costumes, and I'm gonna walk out in a neon bathing suit.
So if it seems like I'm a little worried, I am.
That's why I'm quiet.
I'm distancing myself from the girls.
I thought that I had elevated my drag, but here we go again.
Like, what are you gonna say, like, what are you gonna do to, like, match these girls' energy and funniness? I'm just trying to keep a positive head.
I'm trying to keep smiling, but at the same time, I am nervous.
I don't want to go home.
I'm gonna show them that, you know, I have what it takes to go all the way.
- How are you? - I really, really wanna win a challenge.
I've never even been in the top, so I really hope today it can happen.
The first time I was on "Drag Race," I kinda just floated until I got flushed.
All people knew about me was that I did not excel at "Drag Race" and didn't win any challenges, and I never had my star moments.
This time I, like, have to change that.
I don't really, like, need validation, but, like, to have one good week here would really help the momentum for the rest, you know.
- I feel you.
- Being safe all the time you start to feel invisible.
In the real world, I'm Beyonce, but in the "Drag Race" world, I'm just a LaTavia.
It doesn't matter on "Drag Race" what you've done in the real world.
In these four fake brick walls, you are garbage until proven otherwise.
- Is there anybody that either of you are, like, concerned about? It's kind of hard to figure out who the bottom two are.
Like.
I feel like-- - Oh, let's say three.
Who would you think the three are? - I mean, if I were gonna say three, I would say Aja, Chi Chi, and possibly BeBe.
- What do you feel, Milk? - I'd have to agree with Ben.
- I feel like two out of three of those are correct, and my third variable one that I kept going back and forth on was between Aja's and yours.
- I'm not fazed by Shangela thinking that I may be in the bottom.
That's dumb.
So I'm just gonna turn my hearing aid down a little bit and just, like, let her speak, but I'm paying no attention.
I thought I killed it.
The idea of being in the top is so exciting.
- Well, halle-loo.
Oh, Miss Thing, I'm looking at her, like, you don't see the writing on the wall? Mama, she really thinks that she's in the top two on this one.
I'm cracked.
[ laughs .]
- Shit.
It's just hurtful because I thought we were all better than that.
- I think I would've chosen Thorgy to stay.
I find Thorgy's concepts and her look much more exciting.
- Fuck my drag, right? - Bitch, your feelings is really hurt.
- Yep.
- Kennedy is really upset because it wasn't right for Milk to say that Kennedy should have gone home because her looks weren't on point, because this is a competition about more than just your looks.
And Kennedy proved this week that she deserves to be here 100%.
- If you don't care about me and you don't care about my style of drag, you're entitled to that.
I'm upset at the fact that we work together a lot of times, and what's hurtful is when you feel like you have this certain relationship with your so-called sister, and you come to find out it's something else.
And they end up reading you like a dog and stuff, throwing you under the bus.
We stopped conversation after that.
- No.
Not even talk to me.
That's how I know when people ain't real.
I've worked with Milk before.
We've been on tour together, and I've never had a problem with Milk ever.
I've always liked working with her, but now you're treating me like you don't even know me.
I value people's friendship, I value sisterhood, and when I really like a person and then they really show me who they are, it's hurtful.
- What goes around always comes around.
- And that's what I believe.
You're right.
- I also feel, like, she's been, like, the most, like, kind of rude.
I just feel like sometimes she just doesn't give, like, some of us the time of the day, you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm.
- And I'm just like-- like, I think more so, like-- - Well, at least you notice it and saying it and not me.
- Yeah.
- I look at it like this.
I'm gonna still walk this runway in my dated as shit and my dated as shit is gonna help me go on and win this.
- Yeah.
- And that's how I see it.
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
- Coming up - I laughed so hard I cried.
- Your character was so spot on.
- If you're gonna be a bottom, at least be a power bottom.
- [ laughs .]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Covergirl, put the bass in your walk Covergirl, put the bass in your walk Head to toe, let your whole body talk Covergirl - Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.
" My wingwoman, Michelle Visage.
- Oh, my God, isn't everything better with wings? - Yeah.
Funny man Ross Mathews.
Are you a romantic? - In a power top kind of way, yeah.
- [ all laugh .]
- Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, did you survive a night with my girls? - Ru, I just got back from the free clinic, and we are good to go.
[ bell dings, all laugh .]
- And from "UnREAL," the fabulous Constance Zimmer.
Hi-ee.
- Hi-ee.
- This week we challenged our queens to make fools of themselves on a fake dating show, and tonight on the main stage, category is Wigs On Wigs On Wigs.
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best All Star win.
First up, BenDeLaCreme.
Oh, Michelle Visage.
[ all laugh .]
Oh, my goodness.
- What's a better way to reveal a wig under a wig than to reveal a wig that's three feet under the wig on my head? - Miss Rapunzel.
- Ooh! - What? - Somebody forgot to shave.
- Stroke it, honey.
- It's the natural look.
- BeBe Zahara Benet.
Oh, the Miss Thing dynasty.
- [ Michelle laughs .]
- Is that a Bump It in your hair, or are you just happy to see me? - She went all the way to Asia.
Yes, she doesn't only do goddess beauty.
She is a well-traveled gal, honey.
- Uh-oh, something's happening.
- Ooh! - Ooh! - I love a queen with big, black, hairy balls.
[ all laugh .]
- Who doesn't? - Trixie Mattel.
- Ooh, look who's here, Ru.
- It's Lady Bunny.
- Yes! - I'm Lady Bunny passed out on a deck chair in Palm Springs getting a sunburn, and then boom! - Ooh! - Oh, my God.
It's a Tatiana, same part, Dennis the Menace fantasy.
- Take another little piece of my hair now, baby.
[ all laugh .]
- Milk.
- Milkshake.
- Yeah.
- More like a creamsicle.
- Made entirely of little post-it notes.
- So the look I'm bringing to the runway is very sixties inspired, and the cut of the dress-- aah--my legs are killer.
- Yank it like a troll doll, honey.
[ all laugh .]
- Michelle, is that a good hombre or a bad hombre? - [ Michelle laughs .]
- Aja.
And amazing.
- I think she used too much hairspray.
[ all laugh .]
- Sis, I'm just feeling real kawaii.
That's "cute" in Japanese.
Like, you can't tell me [ bleep .]
right now because I feel like I just walked out of a Manga comic book.
- Ooh! - Oh! - Third wig's the charm.
- Don't take your wig off unless you've got another one underneath.
- That's right.
- And another one underneath that.
- Yeah.
LaGuardia, Newark, Kennedy Davenport.
Ch-ch-ch-chia [ all laugh .]
- That's a hair situation.
- Yeah.
- Ooh! - Ooh! - Take that, Carol Brady.
[ all laugh .]
- Let me tell you, I feel fine, honey.
I got on these three girdles, Miss Thing, and my waist is cinched, boo.
- What? Damn, girl.
- Somebody just graduated from the Lace Front Institute of Technology.
- Yes, LIT.
- LIT.
- It's lit.
- [ laughs .]
- Up next, Chi Chi DeVayne.
- Do I have something on my face? - If you like it, you better put a ring through it.
[ all laugh .]
- This outfit totally represents the new direction that Chi Chi is going.
- Hey.
- Oh, maintain.
- Oh, okay.
- I'm bringing you all this bayou princess.
I just hope the judges are eating it up.
- These have always brought me luck.
- Eyes up here.
- Where do you go? Oh, okay.
- Bye-ee.
- She's going that way.
- Shangela.
- Corn.
- Ru, is it me, or is she looking a bit husky? - I don't remember eating corn.
[ all laugh .]
- Corn is something that will forever be associated with me.
Look, I'm from the country, and I keep it real.
Nothing says that better than corn.
- Ooh.
- Oh, my goodness, popcorn.
- You want some boy butter on that? [ all laugh .]
- You don't have to ask me twice.
- There may be a kernel of truth to this dress.
- That's right, honey.
You better pop the corn and feed the children.
- G-M-Oh, no, you better don't.
[ all laugh .]
- Oh, that's so stupid.
- Coming up - You were constantly overshadowed.
- You were terrifying.
- What I got was a whiny brat.
- Those are really lovely words of encouragement.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Welcome, All Stars.
Based on your improv performances, and your "unbeweavable" main stage presentations, I've made some decisions.
Now, when I call your name, please step forward.
Shangela.
BeBe Zahara Benet.
You are safe.
Please step to the back of the stage.
- Thank you.
- The rest of you represent the tops and the bottoms of the week.
Now it's time for the judges' critiques.
First up, BenDeLaCreme.
- Hi.
- I loved the surprise wig skirt reveal.
It's tough to, like, shock us when we know it's Wigs On Wigs On Wigs.
We know what's gonna happen.
There's gonna be a wig under there.
But somehow you managed to shock me.
- Every piece you stripped off revealed another layer and another layer, and that's what you did in your performance, too.
You gave layers.
I laughed so hard I cried.
- As an actor, you gave me a lot to play with.
I had so much fun with you.
I was equally disgusted by you as I was turned on.
- I keep waiting for you to drop the ball, and you haven't dropped it yet.
- Those are really lovely words of encouragement.
- I wish nothing more than you shutting me up each time by not letting that ball or balls drop.
- Thank you, DeLa.
- Thank you.
- Up next, Trixie Mattel.
- Hi, guys.
- When you came out, I was feeling immediately like if Lady Bunny and Kesha had a baby.
- Were you doing Lady Bunny? What was that about? - I thought, can Lady Bunny become Naomi's balls? Turns out yes.
[ all laugh .]
- In "The Bitchelor," your character was so spot on.
It was basically Paris Hilton.
- I was very impressed from the second you walked out.
You were on the phone and you weren't paying attention, and it was like, oh, we know exactly who you are, and it was everything I wanted.
- But I felt like you were getting talked over a little bit.
- We were advised to try not to talk over each other.
It was kind of like jump roping.
I was kind of waiting sometimes for the moment.
- I felt you waiting.
- However, when you did get those lines in, they were hilarious.
- All right, well, thanks Trixie.
Up next, Milk.
- Hi.
- You look gorgeous tonight.
- Thank you.
- This is a great look for you.
- Thank you.
- In the wig reveal, I liked that there was another sort of reveal when you pulled the pony, like those dolls that I always that I always wanted that my parents wouldn't get me.
- Crissy Doll.
- Yeah, Crissy Doll.
- Crissy Doll's my favorite doll of all time, but we could see the black cup holder underneath the blonde hair.
- Yeah, it's dark root.
- In the challenge, you were terrifying.
- I know.
[ laughs .]
I was-- I was actually psycho.
- But it was the same note the whole time.
I kept hoping that you were going to pretend like you weren't a stalker and there wasn't anything wrong with what you were doing, and you're just a really nice, friendly person who happens to know everything about you.
Because there are times when less is more.
- Your foot was on the gas the whole time.
You were going so fast, you weren't sharing the stage.
- Up next, Aja.
- Hi.
- Tonight on the runway, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this right now was the best Aja has ever looked.
- Oh, thank you.
- From the second you walked out, I just said, what is that, and I need more.
- You're giving me street fighter couture, and it's incredible.
Yes, hyah.
- Win.
- So in "The Bitchelor," I didn't get needy girl at all, not even a little.
- Oh, my God.
- What I got was a whiny brat, and that is not the character.
- You were giving me more Cher Horowitz than Tai.
- Oh.
To me, needy has always been spoiled, but maybe I guess there is a difference.
- Needy is not spoiled.
- Yeah.
- They're two different things.
Needy is constantly needing somebody to be approving or to tell you how beautiful you are.
- Please love me, please tell me I'm pretty, that kind of insecure girl.
- It's exhausting to the person.
- Mm-hmm.
- I feel like I need to reevaluate the definition of needy now.
I was trying to give you, like, a little bit of, like, Farrah Moan meets, like, Kim Kardashian meets, like, kind of like crazy girlfriend.
Wah.
Like, that's what I was going for.
- Up next, Kennedy Davenport.
Helleer.
- Hi.
- On the runway tonight, it was gorgeous, and I think it was truly Davenport.
- It was spectacular.
The absolute polar opposite of the character you played on the show.
- The challenge, out of all of the girls, I had the hardest time keeping a straight face with you.
From the teeth to the tits to the ass, you were absolutely hilarious.
- I never think of you as like really a comedy queen, but you are.
- Well, she did win Snatch Game on her season.
- That's right.
- Why don't I think of you as comedy? - It's probably because of her criminal record.
[ all laugh .]
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Up next, Chi Chi DeVayne.
- Hey, y'all.
- You look beautiful tonight.
You took my breath away from the moment that you stepped out on the runway.
You just have an aura about you that is just so bright, it's really quite stunning.
- You have presence just standing here right now, but then in "The Bitchelor," you were constantly overshadowed.
- Shangela had joke after joke after joke, but you sort of were a spectator in the scene.
- In that hot tub, I wouldn't even have noticed that you were there until you were kissing up on his boobies.
- You gave it all away to Shangela.
I understand you were playing the bottom, but if you're gonna be a bottom, at least be a power bottom.
- Uh-huh.
- When you did have a moment, when you leaned over into his ear and said - [ deep voice .]
You wanna have my baby? - I mean, that was incredible.
Where was that for the rest of the show? - I don't know.
I don't--I don't know.
I went and I just felt like crap compared to all of these comedy queens, and I let it get to me.
I just got so intimidated, and it's frustrating because I don't want you to think that I don't want to be here and that I'm not trying.
I don't want to upset you for bringing me back.
I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm just so sorry that I'm not giving my 100.
I'm letting what they're doing affect me and just me not thinking that I'm worth it.
- Chi Chi, you're worth it.
You're worth it.
- Thank you, Chi Chi.
Now, based on the judges' critiques, I've made some decisions.
Kennedy Davenport, BenDeLaCreme, you are the top two All Stars of the week.
[ applause .]
Con-drag-ulations.
You've each won a suite of jewelry from Fierce! Drag Jewels and a $1,000 gift card from Nailed by Cristy.
Trixie Mattel, you are a totally fake bitch.
- [ chuckles .]
- And I loved it.
You are safe.
Milk, Aja, Chi Chi, you are in the bottom three.
DeLa and Kennedy, each of you needs to decide which of the bottom three you'll eliminate if you win the lip sync.
So while you queens deliberate in the workroom, the judges and I will be twisting balloon animals.
You may leave the stage.
- Coming up - I did not see this coming.
- Girl - I just don't think it's my time to go.
- Every week is just like [ imitates bomb dropping .]
turd city.
- I know what I have to do.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Lord.
Lord.
- A cocktail, please, Jesus.
- I've never been an alcoholic, but today I'm going in.
- Oh, I'm full on.
If I could black out right now, I would.
Well, here we are again with another elimination, and it's always a difficult decision.
I can attest to that more than anyone.
- I thought I would win, but that's okay.
- You thought you were gonna win? - I did.
I thought I would be in the top, and I was ready to do my little lip sync, do my little song, but I'll get, you know.
I thought I would be in the top, so I'm kind of trying to wrap my head around that.
I'm not gonna be safe and cry because that would be, you know, inappropriate, but - [ laughs .]
- Kennedy, the full redemption, sis.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Ben, you're also in the top two.
- Ben has won every single challenge since we got here.
- She going home next week.
[ all laugh .]
- Milk, you seem really quiet.
What's going through your head? - I'm crying about-- now I'm crying for a legit reason, being in the bottom, but I did not see this coming at all.
- Girl I think, like, Milk in a weird way, she works so much in her mind, almost like you convince yourself of something even if it's not the reality.
I don't know, maybe that's how she copes.
I mean, that performance, it's, like, how can you not tell? - I'm being penalized for going 100% full throttle, and I don't 100% agree with the critiques.
I thought Trixie and I had an amazing back and forth.
I really thought I killed that challenge.
- I don't know how she's this delusional.
How--somebody put something in her cocktail.
Cosby? [ laughs .]
- My question to the top two, we have three now in the bottom.
That's the gag of the season.
- They did it last season, too.
- Well, to me this is a gag.
[ all laugh .]
How are you going to assess the situation? The two of you, are you guys gonna do one on ones with the girls? - I decided not to.
I'm just gonna do what I've said from the beginning, and that's just assess the whole thing.
- Right.
- And just make my own professional decision.
I do feel like playing a fair game, and y'all already been crying and shit.
- That sort of comes as a shock.
Is it 'cause she's already made up her mind? Is it 'cause she doesn't want to allude to what she's about to do? I mean, it doesn't scare me because she's a smart individual who sees it as a whole.
- M'lady, how you feeling? - You know, it doesn't feel great to be in the bottom, but I feel like I've been doing well in the competition so far, so I feel like this is just, like, a minor slip, and it happens.
- Yeah.
I mean, I think you've been phenomenal.
- I just don't think it's my time to go.
I think DeLa is going to judge the bottom three based on our track records.
So I know I'm safe because I won the first challenge.
Milk has been safe the whole time, but Chi Chi has been statistically doing the worst every single week.
I mean, you put it together.
- When I got here, I thought I had this in the bag, you know what I mean? Like, ain't none of these bitches gonna to upstage me, you know what I mean? Like, I got these looks together, baby.
I'm going back in this thing, you know what I mean? And every week is just like [ imitates bomb dropping .]
turd city.
I let this challenge, like, diminish my spark and question myself whether I can do this or not.
I know shit bring me down, you know what I mean? - But it happens to all of us.
You just gotta-- it's how quickly you can turn it around and get back up.
- I've been in the bottom three times, and I'm beginning to question is this the right time for me? Maybe I should have been on All Stars 4, you know what I mean? Or maybe I should have popped out of a box like Shangela on Season 10.
I don't think I'm ready to be here at All Stars.
- Hi, Chi Chi.
How you feeling? - Girl, I mean-- - Here we are again.
- Here we go again, you know, and, like, I don't know.
I don't know if I have what it takes to go all the way.
- Yeah.
- And I hate to say that, you know.
I want to be here just as bad as everybody else does.
- Yeah.
- But I'm so friggin' intimidated right now.
I feel like the life has been sucked out of Chi Chi, and, like, me personally, I don't care what they say, don't say this and don't say that, but to me, the right decision is to be fair, you know what I mean? - The reality is that the only thing that dampens your confidence is-- - Accepting what somebody else is saying.
- Exactly.
- [ sighs .]
Just make the right decision.
- Deciding who to send home is always super hard.
No matter what anybody says about whether they're ready for their time to go, there's nobody who didn't fight very hard to be here and doesn't continue to fight once they walk through that door.
- Big and Milky.
- Fire me up.
- Well, the thing is, I'd like to be very honest about the whole situation, guys.
Like, everybody just trying to be so, like, sugar coat, coo coo coo, woo woo woo woo woo.
Milk is saying, like, I thought I was going to be in the top.
To me, I thought that the top was going to be you and Kennedy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- But you are the fakest bitch alive.
- Yeah.
- And to be fair, you probably would have been in the top two had you been able to land all the things that you were looking to land.
- Right.
- Yeah.
It was so hard, you guys, because he was just-- he was, like, yelling the whole time.
- Yeah.
- He's, like, big and I'm like, ba da ba da.
It doesn't, like-- And I could feel you guys' energy in the moment.
I was, like, fuck.
- How are you? - I'm in the bottom three.
Like, what the fuck? - Yeah.
- It's--I don't know.
It's a shitty, shitty situation.
To be in the bottom three with two queens that didn't give a 100%, that were bulldozed by their scene partner, and then there's me.
I haven't made sense of it all yet.
Obviously this isn't my thing.
I'm not super into comedy, and so I thought that being that way and succeeding in a way, that it would be, like, wow, Milk, you did it.
Just know that I want to be here, know that I want to continue.
The judges actually want me to continue in this competition.
The other queens respect me and they want me to be here.
I am not on the level of these bottom queens, and to be compared to them, it pisses me off.
But I'm feeling confident.
Make good decisions.
- Nope.
Never have, never will.
- Oh, my God, this is so much fun.
- Oh, my God, I love it.
I made a dog.
- [ laughs .]
- I got lip and I got lips.
- Oh, wow, that is hilarious.
- [ normal voice .]
Whee, this is so fun.
- I didn't know the balloons had helium in them.
- They don't.
- Well, that's awkward.
Silence.
[ pop .]
Oh.
- Bring back my All Stars.
- Having to eliminate somebody is not a good feeling, but this is part of the game.
I look at the whole picture.
I just don't look at the performance or just what the judge's say.
You gotta take everything into account, so I know what I have to do.
- Tonight the decision is between three people, and that just complicates things more.
There are reasons that every girl has to stay and there are ways in which every girl didn't show up for the competition this week.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Welcome back, ladies.
Two top All Stars stand before me.
Ladies, this is your chance to impress me, win $10,000 and earn the power to give one of the bottom queens the chop.
The time has come [ thunder .]
to lip sync [ echoing .]
for your legacy.
- I know that I shouldn't camp this one up because I need to show the judges that I can do different things.
This is my third lip sync, and if I don't win this one, then I'm at a negative two to one ratio.
- Good luck and don't fuck it up.
- I do my makeup in somebody else's car We order different drinks at the same bars I know about what you did And I wanna scream the truth She thinks you love the beach You're such a damn liar Those great whites, they have big teeth Oh, they bite you Thought you said that you would always be in love But you're not in love no more Did it frighten you How we kissed when we danced on the light up floor? On the light up floor Sometimes I wake up in a different bedroom I whisper things, the city sings 'em back to you All those rumors, they have big teeth But I hear sounds in my mind - Whoo! All right.
- Brand new sounds in my mind But, honey, I'll be seein' you down every road - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it - 'Cause, honey, I'll come get my things But I can't let go - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it - 'Cause, honey, I'll come get my things But I can't let go - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it - Yes, honey, I'll come get my things But I can't let go - I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it I'm waiting for it That green light, I want it [ cheers and applause .]
- Ladies, I've made my decision.
Kennedy Davenport you're a winner, baby.
- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo! - Con-drag-ulations.
You've earned a cash tip of $10,000.
- Thank you.
- BenDeLaCreme, you are safe.
[ applause .]
- Good job, Ben.
- Will the bottom three please step forward? Kennedy, with great power comes great responsibility.
Which queen have you chosen to get the chop? - Oh.
It was very hard.
I had to really think about everything that was going on on and off screen to make my decision, and I take that wholeheartedly as a professional.
So I chose Milk.
- Milk, as it is written, so it shall be done.
You are and will always be an All Star.
Now sashay away.
- Thank you so much for bringing me back.
I will continue to make you proud.
I will do things that nobody else has ever done.
[ applause .]
At this point in the game, me holding this It's stupid.
The fact that I was eliminated even though another queen had been in the bottom three times dumb.
I know a lot of girls think it's unfair for them to be going home, but [ sighs .]
I just don't see how this was my week.
Watching the episode-- [ bell rings .]
Ding.
- Milk! - Oh, gosh.
- Blessed be, kitty girl.
You haven't seen the last of me, Wagon Wheel Watusi.
- What does that mean? Is somebody gonna tell me? Damn it.
[ chuckles .]
- Next time on "All Stars" It's time to play Snatch Game.
[ cheering .]
Look who's here! - Hi, guys.
[ cheering .]
It's Marc Jacobs.
- You look like a fudgsicle dipped in flowers.
- You and I will meet in a back alley somewhere.
- Oh, face crack.
- Well, can I trust you, bitch? - Ooh, this is so juicy! - At the end of the day, that type of shit don't supposed to fly.
The struggle was real on my end.