Somebody Somewhere (2022) s03e03 Episode Script

1
TRICIA: But what I'm saying
is, like, subconsciously,
you have to communicate
that you are a woman
who is in charge of her life, right?
But you have to manifest it.
So, that means, like, you
have to say it out loud,
like, even if it's just to yourself,
like, silently or quietly or whatever.
But, you have to say it out loud.
Otherwise, it won't happen, you know?
(CURTAIN RINGS RATTLE)
What do you think?
Um, what the fuck is that?
Oh-ho-ho.
I mean
It's for the country club.
Oh, come on, you're kidding me.
You're not joining the
fucking country club.
Uh, joined.
- Are you fucking serious?
- Mm-hmm.
That's where the money is, honey!
- Oh, my God.
- And if I happen to meet a guy there, you know
- Oh!
- I said "if." That's not why I joined.
- Okay.
- No, I'm gonna be networking the heck outta that place.
You'll see.
Can you see if they have this in a six?
Yep.
(WINCES) Fucking
- What was that?
- What was what?
- That noise you just made. That "sss."
- I didn't make a sound.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
What's wrong? Why are
you walking like that?
- I'm not walking like anything.
- Is it your knee?
There's nothing wrong
with my knee! I'm fine!
Sam, this is why I got you insurance.
- (SAM SIGHS)
- You have to go see Dr. Weis.
I'm not gonna go see Dr. Weis, come on.
- Why?
- Well, because.
- Because what?
- (SIGHS)
Because our sister walked in there fine,
and then she walked out with cancer,
and I'm not interested.
You do not have cancer. Oh, my God.
Don't catastrophize everything. Come on.
Just walk in there, get it
checked out, and walk out.
- It's not a big deal.
- Oh, Tricia, come on.
No, don't "Tricia" me. You have to go.
- I'll go with you.
- No!
Okay, well then you have to
promise me you're gonna go.
(SAM SIGHS)
Okay, will you get off my
back if I say, "Yes, I'll go"?
I will.
Okay, I'll go.
Good. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Now, help me find something for golf.
- Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me.
- Nope.
- Golf?
- TRICIA: Yeah.
I'm taking a lesson!
You should come with me!
There's probably some cute
guys out there golfing, too.
Can't wait to get home and
type in "popped collars and
khakis" into WhatMakesMeWet.com.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
(GEESE HONKING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
♪
- JOEL: Hey.
- Hey.
You're drinking out of that mug again?
- Yeah. I love it.
- JOEL: Aw.
I keep waiting for
you to not be looking,
so I can throw it out. (LAUGHS)
Oh, come on. It's adorable.
- Come on.
- Yeah.
(MUG CLINKS)
Have you talked to Sam?
Uh, just via text,
but I think she's much better now.
Oh, good.
We should've taken her some soup.
(LAUGHING SOFTLY)
- That's very sweet.
- Oh!
The Dusty Bookshelf is
having a puzzle swap!
- (LAUGHS) Wow!
- Yeah!
Should we go by later today?
Absolutely! But, I just
wanna get some steps first.
I-I'll join you,
but just let me finish this first, okay?
- Sure.
- I wonder
which puzzle we should take to swap.
I'm just gonna get some
laps inside, I think.
Okay.
♪
(WHISPERS) Jesus, are
you fucking kidding me?
(SCOFFS) God.
(SIGHS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER OUTSIDE)
- (SAM SCOFFS)
(KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS)
- SAM: Hi.
- Was it something I said?
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- What?
Well, it's been a while since
we've had you in the office.
We don't even have a chart anymore.
- Oh.
- That means it's been at least a decade.
I guess I've been busy.
- Everybody's so busy these days.
- (SAM GIGGLES)
How are your folks?
How do they like Texas?
Um, they're good.
My dad's doing a lot of fishing,
and, yeah, it seems to
They seem to be happy.
- Fishing? Wow.
- (BOTH GIGGLE)
You know, I never
thought I'd see the day
- they left Manhattan.
- I know, right?
So, you're exercising regularly?
Well, uh, I like to ride my
bike when my truck breaks down,
- so, uh, here and there.
- (LAUGHS)
- How about, uh, your diet?
- Um, I
A little grab-and-go, some pizza,
and, you know, a muffin.
I gotta get those scones at Freddy's,
- but I-I know I should eat something green.
- Mm-hmm.
Take a deep breath for me.
- Okay.
- Wait a minute. Okay.
(DEEP INHALE)
- (DEEP EXHALE)
- How about alcohol?
I like it.
- (LAUGHS)
- About how much do you like it?
- Um, well, I try not to drink every day.
- Okay.
I got some designated
non-drinking nights, so
Okay, well, um, another deep breath.
(DEEP INHALE)
- (DEEP EXHALE)
- A glass of wine here and there won't hurt you,
but anything more than that
puts you at a higher risk
- for breast cancer, head and throat cancer
- (DEEP INHALE)
and with your family history
I got it, yeah.
Any sexual partners?
- No.
- Okay.
Let me take a look at this knee.
How long has it been bothering you?
A couple weeks.
- Maybe more.
- Okay.
- How about there?
- Mm, it's okay.
- Tender here?
- Yeah, but
- Yeah, that's the spot.
- Okay.
I'm gonna have you go down the hall
to get an X-ray.
Paula will come in and take some blood.
And how about a mammogram?
How about it?
At your age, you should be getting one
every year.
Well, um,
you know, I really
think I'm fine. I, um,
I've been in the
shower before and kinda,
you know, poked around and
I haven't felt anything,
- so I-I think I'm good.
- Look,
you can keep throwing
up these roadblocks,
but if you're not gonna
look out for yourself,
I'm gonna look out for you.
How's that sound?
(CLICKS TONGUE)
- That sounds good.
- Good.
I'll give you a call
when your blood work
and your X-rays are back.
In the meantime, Samantha,
I'd like you to work on
your lifestyle choices.
Any questions?
No.
Remember, we're in this together.
- Okay.
- Sit tight.
- Paula will be right in.
- Okay.
- And say hi to your folks for me.
- I will.
(STOOL RATTLES)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR SHUTS)
(KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS)
- Hi.
- (DOOR SHUTS)
(GRABS CLIPBOARD)
PAULA: Okay.
(GENTLE, JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)
- (QUIET STREET NOISE)
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Hey.
- CHRISTY: Hey, Sam.
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
All good.
Everyone is closed out.
- SAM: Okay.
- We just have Sheri's tab open.
Great.
I will see you tomorrow?
Whether you like it or not.
- (LAUGHS)
- Better move that thing. Jesus.
- I know.
- Hey, Sheri.
- Hey, Sammy.
- SAM: So, what'd I miss?
- SHERI: Same old, same old.
- Same old, same old, huh?
- SHERI: Mm-hmm.
- Alright. (SNIFFLES)
- (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Um
Is that true you were out at
Auntie Mae's dancing last night?
- Yeah! I did! Oh, my God.
- (SAM LAUGHS)
(SLURRED) And then they
played Plassy Cline.
- "I Fall to Pieces."
- (GASPS) "Plassy" Cline?
- SHERI: Yeah.
- Oh, man.
(SOFT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
SAM: You still gonna
go dancing tomorrow?
- SHERI: Yes, I am. Why don't you come?
- (SAM LAUGHS)
Eh, you know, it's not my thing, Sheri.
- Well, why not?
- I don't have your moves. I don't have your moves.
Yeah, you got moves.
I got my moves, you got your moves.
- SAM: (LAUGHS) Thank you.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Um
You know what? I'm just
I'm gonna take a quick lap.
- You good?
- SHERI: Mm-hmm.
Alright.
(FRONT DOOR SHUTS)
SAM: Hey.
I didn't know you come here.
I didn't know you worked here.
Well, secret's out.
You want another beer?
- No, I just have the one.
- SAM: Wow,
you are definitely
not from here. (LAUGHS)
Um, how do you know Jerry?
He was my professor at K-State.
Oh.
You know, I was wondering
how you ended up here.
I thought, you know, maybe
you just took a globe,
gave it a spin, and
bloop. Manhattan, Kansas.
Nope. I'm here on purpose.
Well, I guess I was wrong. (LAUGHS)
Um, is that a good book?
Oh, well, I'll let you know.
Oh, that's okay.
I don't read. Um, I can.
But, um,
my brain's kinda like
a like a kitchen sponge.
If it gets too wet, it stinks.
But, if you ever wanna bring Wesley,
um, here, we're friendly
We're dog friendly,
if the dog is friendly.
It's a tough slogan. (LAUGHS)
(SOFT COUNTRY MUSIC CONTINUES)
Mm (SIGHS)
♪
(QUIETLY MUTTERING)
- (INSECTS CHIRPING)
- (DOGS BARKING)
- (INSECTS CHIRPING)
- (DOOR CREAKS)
(DOGS BARKING)
(DOORS SHUT)
Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah, we're doing that porch life.
- Yeah.
- (OPENS CAN)
This is nice.
Where my porch pals at?
Come on.
Music
("WHAT YOU WON'T DO FOR
LOVE" BY BOBBY CALDWELL PLAYING)
I mean,
now, this is cutie.
- This This is cutie.
- (CAR APPROACHING)
I guess you wonder where I've been ♪
Oh, you don't wanna do this.
I searched to find the love within ♪
Oh, fuck
I came back to let you know ♪
(AWKWARD LAUGH)
(WHISPERING) She like
a an office manager?
- I hope he can get it up for you, honey.
- (DREW'S DOOR SHUTS)
(SIGHS) I'm just here and
I look good. You look good, Sam.
You look good.
You don't look good.
You do not look good right now.
I came back to let you know ♪
Oh, my God, that was hu miliating.
(GENTLE, PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(GOLF CART WHIRRING)
- TRICIA: How's the beer?
- Oh, it's doing the trick.
(BOTH LAUGH)
No, I-I-I shot a round today, so
Mm! How'd you do?
- Not too shabby.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
So, um,
what's fun to do here? What's
- I Uh, the pool is great, in the summer.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, my kids loved that.
They learned to swim here.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Aw.
Yeah, they're off at college now.
- Same with mine.
- Mm. Where are they at?
Just the one. She's up at KU.
- Oh, nice.
- Yeah.
I've got two. They're up at Iowa State,
so they can be close to their mom.
Oh, okay. Well, that must be hard.
So, uh, what's good here?
Brian! Heard you had a
pretty good round today.
Hey, Mitch! Yeah, some days
the cup looks like a bucket.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Hi, there.
- Hi.
- Uh, Mitch, this is Tricia. She's a brand-new member.
Tricia Murph Mill
(LAUGHS) Tricia Miller Murphy.
- Welcome, Tricia. Nice to meet you. Mitch.
- Nice to meet you.
- You play tennis?
- Um, well
How about golf?
Actually, I just signed up for a lesson
- over at the pro shop, so
- You'll have to meet my wife.
She's always looking
for someone to play with.
Well, I would love that! Yeah!
- I'll tell her to keep an eye out.
- Okay, great.
- Brian.
- Hey. (SOFT LAUGH)
(GASPS) Wow.
(LAUGHS) You know who that is?
Yeah! He is so nice for being so rich.
Yeah, they're humble people.
Humble people.
- (GENTLE FLAPPING)
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
Hi. Uh, excuse me, sir.
- Tricia Murphy Miller.
- Yes! (LAUGHS)
Please, call me Mitch.
Mitch. (GIGGLES) Um,
I just wanted to say
that, um, I know how generous you are
in terms of your
philanthropic endeavors around
and-and surrounding
cancer research and such,
and so I just, um,
I wanted to-to give you my card
if I could. Um,
so I'm in event planning.
Um, that is my passion.
And, uh, I just I
really love giving someone,
like, that one-of-a-kind event
that is, um, made
especially just for them.
And so, if you were ever wanting to,
to put something together,
to do an event for, um
Um, because I-I lost
my sister to cancer.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Thank you. Um, it
I know that we could do
a lot of good. So Sorry.
- I didn't mean to
- "Trish Upon a Star."
I like that.
- Thank you.
- Do you have a minute?
I-I absolutely do have a minute.
- I have many minutes!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
(GENTLE, PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHEELS SQUEALING)
(BRAKES SQUEAK)
(ENGINE SHUTS OFF)
- (SIGHS)
- (SEATBELT CLICKS)
(MUSIC FADES OUT)
Dr. WEIS (ON VOICEMAIL):
Hi, Sam. It's Dr. Weis.
I'm looking at your X-rays.
You have some serious
arthritis in your left knee.
I'd like to have you
schedule a follow-up
with an orthopedist right away.
As for your blood work,
blood sugar, liver enzymes,
and cholesterol are all high.
We need you to make some changes, Sam.
It's just gonna take a little effort.
And we need you to
lose some weight, okay?
- Give me a call so we can discuss.
- (CALL ENDS)
(LINE RINGING)
(LINE RINGING)
Sam! Oh, my God, I am at the club!
You would not believe this place.
I just met Mitch Green!
- Wow.
- TRICIA (ON PHONE): I know.
And I just walked, like, right
up to him, and I was like,
"You know, I admire everything
you do for the community,
like, all your philanthropic
stuff," blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then, I just offered
to help him set up an event
to raise money for cancer research,
and he said yes!
- Can you believe it?
- That's great, Trish.
TRICIA: Of course, I'm
totally gonna need your help
'cause this is gonna be major.
Yep, you got it. Whatever you need.
Okay. Oh, my G (GASPS) Oh, my God.
Linda Browning just walked in here.
Alright, I have to go. I
have to go say hi to her.
- I'll call you back. Bye.
- Bye.
(CALL ENDS)
(KEYS JINGLE)
(SIGHS)
(QUIETLY MUTTERING)
- Hmm.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, Sammy!
- SAM: Hey!
What are guys doing
all the way out here?
- We're here to check your alibi.
- SAM: Ah.
- I have to go tee-tee.
- Oh, right over there.
Sorry, boss, you know I
gotta pay those fuckin' bills.
- FRED: I know.
- Where's the rest of the team?
Well, you know, we
wanted some buddy time.
- Just us guys.
- Oh.
And I'm dying for a Diet Coke.
- (SAM LAUGHS)
- Susie's got her eye on me nonstop.
Well, I wish I could, but, um,
she scares the shit outta me,
so, uh, I don't think I
can help you out with that.
- Ah! Nobody lets me have any fun anymore!
- I know, I know,
but, you know, it's gotta
be nice having somebody
that looks out for you like that, right?
(GROANS) Alright, I'll have a water.
Oh, stay hydrated, right?
- (ICE CLINKING IN GLASS)
- Oof!
Lotta humanity in that bathroom.
- SAM: (LAUGHS) That's a nice way of putting it.
- (JOEL LAUGHS)
Um, what are you drinking? Anything?
- Yeah
- SAM: We have
What's a Vizzy Hard Seltzer?
- Oh, it's
- JOEL: Don't tell me!
- Just surprise me.
- Okay. (LAUGHS)
(OUTSIDE TRAFFIC NOISE)
- Where are all the people?
- You know, it fills up later.
This is my me time. I do
my puzzles and all that.
Excuse me
Holy shit.
Darts?
- SAM: Yeah.
- You kidding me?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, we gotta play!
- Come on. Joel, come on!
- No.
I don't wanna do any more sports today.
Oh yeah, we got darts, we've got trivia.
Um, we have tater tots.
Tater tots? Oh, my
God, I'm losing my mind!
Gimme some taters, come on!
- I gotta dig out the toaster oven from the back.
- (FRED GROANS)
Hey, do they have shows here?
SAM: Oh, I think "shows"
might be too big a word for it.
It's really just a
couple of drunk old-timers
singing hits of the '70s.
- I wanna see that.
- I don't think you do.
I don't know! (CHUCKLES)
I do, come on. Will you
sing something for us, Sammy?
- Okay. I'm just gonna sing.
- Yeah.
Welcome to paradise ♪
It's suckin',
suckin', suckin' out my ♪
- Soul! ♪
- (LAUGHTER)
- FRED: Ooh! Oh, the tongue!
- Nah, I'm just kidding.
- It's not that bad here. Eh, you know.
- (FRED AND JOEL LAUGHING)
- (PATRONS CHATTERING)
- SAM: Okay.
Well, there goes my me time.
Alright, kids, that's my cue.
I don't wanna mix and
mingle with the student body.
- You coming to our next practice?
- I'll be there, Coach.
- Thanks for coming by.
- You coming?
I just got my drink.
Fuck it, I'ma stay a little longer.
(PATRONS CHEER)
- (JOEL CHEERS)
- Oh, God, it's gonna be that kind of party.
Here we go. Here I come, guys!
- (GENTLE, PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
- (QUIET CHATTER)
♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JOEL: You're really good at this.
- Oh, washing glasses? Thank you so much.
- (JOEL LAUGHS)
- I mean the whole thing!
- Yeah, well
- I'm doing what I can.
- (LAUGHS)
Should I just eat one of those eggs?
- Are you out of your fuckin' mind?
- (BOTH LAUGH)
They're, like, appealing
in a disgusting way.
- They're a little dangerous.
- You know,
this is the longest that we've gone
without seeing each other in so long.
I know, right?
I was starting to worry that
something was maybe wrong.
- No, no, no, no. You know, just fucking work.
- (JOEL LAUGHS)
And, you know, you're
all shacked up now,
- just wanna give you some space to
- I don't need space.
- PATRON: Can we close out?
- Yeah.
Um, let's see here.
(RECEIPT CRINKLING)
This is you guys.
(GRIMACES)
Sometimes those young
ones don't tip. We'll see.
- JOEL: Well, he looks rich.
- SAM: (LAUGHS) I hope so.
- Um
- (JOEL LAUGHING)
You know, can you just
gimme one quick second?
Okay.
- Hey!
- ICELAND: Hey.
You looking for Jerry?
- I haven't seen him yet.
- No.
- I came to give you this.
- (PAPER CRINKLING)
Save you a trip to the farm.
Oh God, you didn't have to
come all the way out here.
No trouble.
Oh, well, thank you.
Um, lemme get you a beer.
Oh, no, I have to get back to Wesley.
Oh. Yeah, he probably
wants his meat. (LAUGHS)
Right.
Okay, well, next time, I guess.
Um, I'll Mm, I'll be here.
Sure. Thank you. Thank you for, um,
the offer.
You got it.
See ya.
Yeah.
(SIGHS) Um
Good? Okay.
(SIGHS)
- Who was that?
- Oh, he's the guy that's renting the farm.
- Oh, that's him?
- That's him.
He's got such a deep voice,
I could hear it in my tummy.
I know. It's like an
Icelandic thing, I guess.
- I don't know.
- Thank you, ma'am.
Oh yeah, thank you.
- Thank you, ma'am!
- Ma'am!
Oh, my God. Kids, right?
I hope they hooked you up.
You know what?
They actually did.
- (SLAPS BAR)
- Good for them!
I knew they had it in 'em.
See, that's the
children leading the way.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, your money's no good here.
- J-Just take it.
- No, put it away. Come on, Joel.
Come on.
- Put it away. I insist.
- Alright, if you insist.
But, I'm putting it into
a fund for our friendship.
- (LAUGHS) A friendship fund?
- Yes.
(BOTH LAUGH)
What?
- I don't know, I just like being here.
- (SAM CHUCKLES)
Um, do you have plans right now?
'Cause if you
If you just gimme, like, 15 minutes, uh,
I was thinking maybe we
could go fuck up some donuts.
Oh, let's fuck up some donuts.
- You wanna fuck up some donuts?
- They already got one hole in 'em.
Let's make it some more.
- What has happened to you?
- I don't know! (LAUGHS)
But, I do have to go tee-tee 'cause
Vizzys go right through me.
Well, just go on the
floor. Everybody else does.
- Are you serious?
- Just me.
- Samantha Miller.
- (SAM LAUGHS)
(SERENE MUSIC PLAYING)
(MOUTHFUL) Oh, God!
(SAM LAUGHS)
- This is insane!
- Yeah?
- You want a bite?
- Oh, no, no, no. I don't wanna steal any of your joy.
- Good.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
So
how's that married life?
- Slow down! (LAUGHS)
- (SAM LAUGHS)
Oh, it's good. It's good.
I mean, it's an adjustment.
Yeah.
You know, it's a lot of time together.
I'm still not used to
him being in the house
when I pick my pah-pah.
Well, it never stopped you with me.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
- Well, I trust you.
- Yeah.
You know you can always take
your morning meetings at my place.
- Aw, that's very sweet.
- Well (GIGGLES)
I might take you up on that 'cause
I'm starting to get a little backed up.
- Oh, no.
- (JOEL LAUGHS)
(SAM SIGHS)
No, it's good.
I love Brad.
He's so sweet.
He loves telling me everything
about his day when he gets home.
- Then, he wants to hear all about mine, too. It's just
- (SAM LAUGHS)
You know.
Sharing everything?
It's a lot to get used to.
Yeah, I bet.
What?
You know
the other morning after your party, um,
Brad said something to me.
Um
That you guys could spot
me some cash if I needed it,
and I
I was really embarrassed.
Um
You know, when I tell you, Joel,
it's, it's just for you.
And I really hate
thinking about you guys
sitting around, talking
about how to fix me.
You know, I'm nobody's project.
Oh, Sam, you don't need fixing.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, well,
then I go to my doctor,
and, um, she starts telling me
all this shit that's
wrong with me and
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine! You know,
she just wants me to take
better care of myself.
- Well, do you want to? I'll help.
- I don't want any help, Joel!
(STAMMERS) I don't need any help!
And then, fucking Susan
tells me that I'm bringing Fred down!
- What? What are you talking about?
- I I don't know.
Th-The donuts and th-the
French toast for the table.
And, you know, it's like
(SIGHS) I already do enough thinking
about what's wrong with me.
I don't need anybody's help.
Nothing is wrong with
you, and fuck Susan! Sorry.
- (WEAK LAUGH)
- But, seriously, fuck her.
Fuck Susan,
and her stupid fucking
- gross healthy snacks.
- (MUTED LAUGH)
They did look like turds.
You know what? Here.
Take a picture of me
eating this dirty-ass donut
- and send it to her. Come on.
- (WHEEZING LAUGHTER)
- No, you said you overdid it.
- I don't care.
I'm gonna push through. Let's do this.
(SAM SIGHS)
Alright.
(LAUGHS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
- She's a lot, isn't she?
- Oh, my God!
- She sucks. (LAUGHS)
- (JOEL GROANS)
- JOEL: Don't send that picture though.
- Oh, I already did.
- JOEL: No, Sam! Did you?
- I'm kidding. I don't even have her number.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- ("OH HONEY" BY DELEGATION PLAYING)
Fuck it. No French toast
for the table? Fuck her!
JOEL: Do you want her
number? 'Cause I do have it.
I don't want her number! (LAUGHS)
JOEL: You're right. Fuck her number.
♪
When I get lost ♪
Feel I've been crossed ♪
She will be my salvation ♪
When I feel low ♪
I've nowhere to go ♪
She'll be my inspiration ♪
Yeah, when my poor heart ♪
Is breaking apart ♪
She'll put it back together ♪
She ain't the kind ♪
To show off her mind ♪
But talkin' of love, she's clever ♪
Yeah ♪
Oh ♪
Honey ♪
Oh, honey ♪
Oh ♪
(SONG FADES OUT)