Starsky and Hutch (1975) s03e03 Episode Script

[###.]
[TYRES SCREECH.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[EXPLODES.]
[###.]
[HUMMING.]
[SINGING "THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT" RHYME.]
[SINGING COMES THROUGH RADIO.]
Hey! I got him! Whoa! My hand! Hold it! I'll only be a minute.
STARSKY: The kid was just another purse snatcher.
Are you sure Frost didn't set this up just to rip the money off? Yeah.
We're sure of that, Captain.
Cap, you know, I think that we ought to set this thing up again as soon as possible.
What is he gonna say about Linda not showing up this afternoon? I got Benny to cover that.
That's what scares me.
You can't trust a junkie snitch.
They'll put you in a cross the first chance they get.
Yeah, I know all about it.
He's still my way to Frost, though, isn't he? Look, Captain, Frost is responsible for more teenage junkies in this town than anybody else.
You know that.
Look, would you give me a lift to the hospital? Sure.
Captain, look, we spent almost a month trying to set up a buy with this guy.
Now, it's not right the whole thing should wash out just because some kid, out of the blue, figures Linda for an easy mark.
All right, set it up again.
But for God's sakes, be careful.
HUTCH: Captain.
And you, Hutchinson, first thing I want you to do is go to the hospital, see about your hand.
Need a lift? Thanks.
The doctor hardly even looked at it.
Shh.
You just can't get personal service in a hospital anymore.
Would you relax please? Nothing to worry about.
It's just a scratch.
They'll clean it up.
You'll be OK.
It's not a scratch.
There's five stitches in there.
OK.
OK.
It hurts.
I can't hear a thing.
What are you doing? Look, I'm trying to find your heart.
When the nurse comes in to give you a shot, I want you to be brave.
No screaming, no crying, no carrying on.
I want you to be a soldier.
Got that? Yeah.
Excuse me.
Which one of you is Officer Hutchinson? I am.
I'm sorry, you'll have to wait outside.
Right.
Oh.
OK.
Yeah, well, if the pain gets too bad, bite the bullet.
Let me take a look at this.
It doesn't look too bad.
Does it hurt very much? No.
No.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give you a big shot, though.
OK? Sure.
Uh, wrong.
Oh, the trousers, huh? Right.
Take your best shot.
What are you doing? Huh? You scared me.
I, uh I lost a dime.
HUTCH: Pull your arm out of there, will you? I'll buy you a round down at Sullivan's.
Come on.
I'm trying.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
How was the shot? Did it hurt? Not where it shows.
STARSKY: Do we really have to go to Sullivan's? STARSKY: I'm starting to think this is a one-sided relationship.
You hurt yourself.
You get to say where we go, and we end up in a place like this.
There's no music, there's no dancing, there's very few ladies around.
Ah-ah-ah.
Hey, isn't that your nurse friend over there? Oh, yeah, so it is.
Be back in a minute, huh? Don't hurry.
I'll sit and watch the lights blink.
Hi.
Remember me? Well, hi, sure.
Officer Hutchinson, right? Hutch.
Sure, Hutch.
I'm Diana Harmon.
I was looking for a girlfriend of mine.
I was supposed to meet her here, Oh, yeah? But I don't know if she made it.
Well, look, you're welcome to join my partner and I down there.
Oh, no.
I don't think so.
I don't wanna impose on you.
Oh, it's no imposition.
Besides, I might have a relapse or something.
How's your hand doing? Well, it's still there.
Good.
You sure it's all right? Sure.
Come on.
Really? [###.]
DIANA: I'm sorry for taking so long.
Oh, that's OK.
Looks like you just moved in.
Yeah.
Pretty smart, huh? I've just been so busy at the hospital, I haven't had time to unpack yet.
But one of these days, I'm gonna get to it.
Ta-da.
Well was it worth waiting for? You look lovely.
Thank you.
Hey, Hutch, I've been thinking.
Would you mind terribly if we had dinner here? I have some steaks in the refrigerator.
And some wine.
Hm.
Well, uh, whatever.
Good.
What was that for? Just for seeing things my way.
And for being so sweet.
Oh, well.
Very hungry? What did you have in mind? A very late dinner.
Hm? Uh, it's sort of It sort of sounds funny, but in this big city, I feel kind of safe.
The hospital's been really good too.
You know, caring for people and doing things for them, it's really good.
Know what I mean? I have a confession to make.
Hm.
A confession, huh? Uh-huh.
Already? You know this afternoon, in the bar, when I said I was waiting for a girlfriend? I was really looking for you.
For me? Uh-huh.
Well I don't know, I just saw you at the hospital and I really liked you.
With a bullet in my mouth? Yeah.
Then I overheard you and Dave talking about where you were going.
So I followed you.
Oh.
How's that for detective work? Not bad.
Not bad.
You're not angry, are you? Angry? Uh-huh.
I guess I ought to be flattered, huh? Yes.
Ah.
LINDA: Hey, Benny, it's almost 5.
Where's Frost? Benny's back in town.
LINDA [OVER RADIO.]
: Didn't you talk to him? BENNY: Yeah, but he's kind of bent out of shape.
He thinks you stood him up.
You got him mad at me too.
Look, I really don't care how bent out of shape he got.
Now, look, you convince Frost to show up tomorrow or you know that nice, little possession rap, Benny? I'm gonna get you sent up, and you can believe that.
BENNY: Yeah, OK.
Hey, give me a break, huh? I'll get him here for you.
If not tomorrow, in the next day or so.
Snitch.
How good is his word, huh? I'll tell you, Benny's a lot of things, but dumb is not one.
He'll convince Frost I'm safe to deal with.
Man, my feet are killing me.
I don't know how those girls stand it.
They don't spend a lot of time on their feet.
[CLANKING.]
What are you doing here? Oh.
Now, I just thought I'd surprise you with dinner.
But I'll just have to make another batch.
Don't worry about the mess, OK? I'll clean it all up.
Here.
You just drink this and relax, and I'll take care of everything.
Now, wait a minute, Diana.
You know, last night was so lovely.
I just thought about you all day today.
And I wanted to do something really special for you.
Diana, stop it.
Hey, what's the matter? Hm? Look, you don't just break into somebody's apartment, you know? Well, I didn't just break in.
I told the landlord I was your kid sister from Boston, and he just let me in.
[DIANA GIGGLES.]
Hey, you're not mad, are you? Honey.
I just wanted to please you.
STARSKY: Hello, hello, hello! KATHY: Surprise, Hutch! Kathy.
HUTCH: Good to see you.
When did you get in? About an hour ago.
I'm sorry to say I'm just on a 12-hour layover.
But told Dave I just had to see you.
Well, I'm glad you did.
She looks pretty good, doesn't she? HUTCH: Sure does.
KATHY: Wow, the place looks great.
Oh, and I see you're keeping busy.
Oh, Diana Harmon, this is Kathy Marshall.
Hi, Diana.
Hi.
Oh, what happened? An accident.
Well, let me help you with that.
No, it's OK.
I can do it.
Oh, no, it's no trouble at all.
We'll have it cleaned up in no time.
Well, I'm glad to see the medical profession is still making house calls.
House calls, huh? What happened? Never mind.
Well, look, we didn't want to interrupt you, but Kathy didn't want to call.
She insisted on surprising you.
Oh.
That's OK.
It's my evening for surprises.
Oh? Hm.
We were gonna go for some Chinese food.
Why don't the two of you join us? Oh, yeah.
That sounds like fun.
And then we could all go dancing later.
That's a great idea.
What do you say, Hutch? Is it all right with you, Diana? Diana? It's up to Hutch.
It's up to Hutch.
Hutch? Sure, it sounds great.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING.]
You guys look terrific out there.
Come on, no resting.
I want to dance again.
I'm pooped.
It's your turn, Hutch.
Oh, no.
I got a sore hand.
Oh, come on.
Go ahead.
How can I resist? Well, I think I got my wind back.
Want to dance? Diana? What? Do you want to dance? No, I don't dance.
Thanks for the dance, Hutch.
Yeah, sorry about the feet.
STARSKY: Are you ready to rest now? KATHY: For a minute.
You're next.
Oh, God.
I can hardly wait for that.
Oh, my God.
Ahh! Oh, no.
How did I do that? Here, use this.
Here, use another one.
Well, can I help? [CHUCKLES.]
KATHY: You better take me back to the hotel.
This is the only outfit I brought.
Then you'll have to get it cleaned before you leave.
What a shame.
Yeah.
Well, if it's the only outfit she brought.
Don't worry your little head about it.
It's gonna be OK.
Take care.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Well, here we are.
Come on.
Hm.
Aren't you gonna ask me to your apartment? Look, Diana, I'm beat, and it's late.
Let's make it another time.
When? I'll call you.
When? Soon.
Next couple of days.
You're not gonna call, are you? There's someone else.
I thought you cared.
I thought last night really meant something to you.
Obviously, I was wrong.
Wait a minute, Diana.
I don't understand where you're coming from.
Well, I understand.
I think it's perfectly clear.
Hutchinson, you sure picked a winner.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello.
DIANA [OVER PHONE.]
: Hutch? Diana? Where are you? Are you all right? Yeah, I'm OK.
Don't worry.
Why did you run off like that? Look, Hutch, I don't want to talk about that now.
I'm sorry.
But, look, I want to see you.
How about tomorrow night? I really want to talk to you.
[SIGHS.]
I don't know, Diana.
I Look, with tomorrow night, I have to work the late shift at the hospital, so it'll have to be early.
Look I'll expect you at 6.
[PHONE HANGS UP.]
Get out of here, will you? It's that old fatal charm of yours.
Gets them every time.
It's not funny, Starsk.
First, she breaks into my apartment, then she runs off like that.
It's weird.
Look I've only known the girl for two days.
Invite her to dinner, read her the riot act and then split.
It's that simple.
I only hope it is.
Count on me.
May I help you, madam? Yes.
I'm looking for something for a man, but it has to be very, very special.
Perhaps a ring or a watch? A watch, that's a great idea.
If you'll step right this way, madam.
OK.
Down at the end OK.
Ah, here.
No, no, no.
I don't think so.
Not those.
Ooh.
How about one of these? You have excellent taste, madam.
This is one of our very finest watches.
Ooh.
I really like this one.
How much is it? This one is $1200.
Oh, I think he'll really like this one.
Can I get it engraved now? I need it for this evening.
Certainly.
This must be a very special gift.
Oh, it is.
It's for my fiancé.
It's almost 7.
Looks like Frost is gonna stand her up.
I was supposed to be at Diana's an hour ago.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Yeah.
All right, Benny.
That was Benny.
Frost wants to set the meet-up for tomorrow.
Where? Oh, that's the problem.
He's getting kind of cute about it.
He wants to pick me up in his car and the deal goes down while we're driving.
Well, it looks like plan B just went into effect, huh? We let the captain know, get ahold of Huggy, still have time to make a date.
Where's Linda? Oh, I had Harris take her home.
Did you call Diana? Yeah.
No answer.
Diana, I was trying to call you.
Oh, I bet you were.
I had someone cover for me at the hospital because I thought you were in an accident or something.
No, no, no.
We were just involved with a case.
Oh, yeah? Or did you just conveniently forget we had a date? Now, wait a minute.
What's wrong with you? Nothing's wrong with me! I'm tired of being lied to and used by you! Just keep your voice down.
I don't want to keep my voice down! I want them all to hear! I want everyone of them to hear what you're really like! What are you talking? You know.
All your friends wouldn't think you were such a big hero if they knew how you treated me! Well, listen, I want you to know right now, I'll never marry you! Never! Because I hate you! I hate you! HUTCH: Diana.
Diana.
Calm down.
Take your hands off of me! You, you're just like him! I bet you had a big laugh all day long, haven't you? Like I'm some big joke.
Well, let me tell you something about your friend.
He's not even a good lover.
Diana.
DIANA: Don't worry, I'm leaving! But first, I want you to have this gift.
Stinking, rotten gift! I hope you choke on it! And don't forget, you're gonna hear from me, and you're gonna be sorry! Come on, don't you people have something to do? [SCREAMING AND YELLING.]
[###.]
Oh, my God.
Damn.
HUTCH: The girl's gotta be sick to do something like that.
I agree.
Well, she needs help.
STARSKY: I'm not arguing with you.
Look, there's a roll of black thread in the second drawer on the right side of my desk.
Starsk.
What are you gonna do? You wanna take out an APB on her for vandalism? Hm? The thread, please.
Thank you.
She's dangerous.
Mm-hm.
Well, she shouldn't be on the street.
What? The thread.
Thank you.
Look, I'm no shrink, but I think it's a possibility that she might have worked out her aggression on your place tonight.
You know, maybe you ought to find a better place to hide your spare key.
Talk about damaged goods.
Huggy.
Boy, that chick really dug your pad, huh? Hey, take it easy with that, will you? Huggy, you're talking about a man's heart.
Did you come up with that jackhammer? Now, what do you need a jackhammer for? I mean, this place has already been destroyed.
You're a million laughs, you know that? Don't worry, I got it.
I got the noisiest jackhammer my cousin Mervin could dig up.
I mean, the man that lady makes the buy from is not gonna hear nothing but Huggy tearing up some sidewalk.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Huggy.
HUGGY: Yeah? You hear that noise? Yeah.
STARSKY: What does it sound like to you? A telephone.
Answer it.
[PHONE RINGING.]
You're sure you wanna go ahead with this jackhammer idea? Starsky, trust me.
It's a stroke of genius.
Stroke of genius, huh? Yeah.
Um, devastated domicile.
LINDA [OVER PHONE.]
: Get Hutch, will you? It's Linda.
Hutch, it's your lady-cop friend.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Linda.
Listen, Hutch, I just heard from Benny.
Now, Frost wants the deal to go down in an hour.
Are we ready? We're all set.
Where are you? I'm in my nook.
Uh, I'll be there in 20 minutes.
It's going down.
Are you Frost? FROST [OVER RADIO.]
: Hey.
Benny didn't tell me what a good-looker you were.
You got the money, sweetheart? Nope.
Not on me.
What are you trying to pull? I ain't jumping in you car with five grand.
Now, the deal goes down like this.
You drive me to my friend's house, I go in, I get the bread, I come out, then we make the exchange.
I don't like doing business like that.
All right, forget it, man.
Wait a minute.
OK.
We'll do it your way.
This time.
But only because I like you.
I wouldn't buy a used car from that lady.
[J ACKHAMMERING.]
Right over there.
Right there.
There it is, across the street.
Be right back.
Don't try nothing cute.
What? Forget it.
[J ACKHAMMERING.]
Don't do that to me, huh? Just give Starsky a minute.
[J ACKHAMMERING.]
[J ACKHAMMERING.]
[J ACKHAMMERING STOPS.]
OK, go.
[GENERATOR SHUTS OFF.]
Hey, give me, baby.
Where's mine? All right, we did our business.
I'm getting out of here.
Wait a minute.
I want to count.
It's all there.
Police.
You're under arrest! You did me pretty good, didn't you, baby? I won't forget it! That's the idea.
Ticklish? Whew, that was a good bust, boys.
I tell you, that was We work so well together.
We should do it again sometimes.
Hey, you weren't too bad yourself.
Yeah, I'd trade him in for you anytime.
I don't know if I'd do that if I were you.
Let me out of here.
I'll see you guys in court, huh? You got it.
Okeydokey.
All right.
Behave yourself.
Are you kidding me? [INDISTINCT CHATTERING OVER POLICE SCANNER.]
Knowing how you feel about Linda, I'm gonna assign you to her case.
Who found her, Captain? Neighbour next door saw the door open, looked in.
Was the lock forced? No.
Whoever it was, they didn't break in.
Did you speak to the manager? Mrs Shaunessy? She's out.
Haven't been able to locate her yet? You two have any ideas? How could I have done it to her? You guys had just busted me.
Everyone's allowed a phone call, Frost.
But I'm telling you, I didn't.
I don't even know where the broad lives.
You threatened her.
You said, "I'm gonna get you.
" How many times do I have to tell you? That was just a figure of speech.
Can I see you for a second? Sure.
Hey, how about a cigarette? Bad for your health.
Looks like for once in his life he's telling the truth.
What do you mean? I checked records.
He was being booked the same time Linda was beaten.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean He didn't have access to a phone.
Yeah, but still, he could've had a [SIGHS.]
Well, I guess that lets him off the hook.
Yeah, I guess so.
How's Linda? She's still in surgery.
Look, why don't you go home and get some Zs.
I'll wrap up here, we'll pick this thing up in the morning.
Go ahead.
OK, Call me on Linda.
Yeah.
So far, so good.
[TURNS ON SHOWER.]
Where's your partner, Starsky? I sent him home.
You did what? I sent him home.
Didn't get much sleep last night.
I'm gonna put an APB out on his girlfriend, that nurse.
What? The manager over at Linda's apartment just got home.
Said she let a girl in there this afternoon just before Linda was attacked.
The girl said she was her sister from Boston.
Sound familiar? Oh, my God.
Why would she do something like that? Hutch.
What are you doing? If she went after Linda like that, Hutch might be next.
[PHONE RINGS.]
It's too late.
He'll be dead before you get here.
[PHONE HANGS UP.]
Cap, get the closest black-and-white to Hutch's as soon as you can.
Diana.
Diana.
Why? Why do you want to hurt me, Diana? Remember our first night? Diana? Please come out.
Please.
Let's talk.
Diana.
Liar! Liar! You liar! [SIRENS BLARING.]
[SIRENS APPROACHING.]
[SCREAMING.]
I loved you! I loved you! I loved you! Diana! I loved you.
Everybody loves you! Why can't you love me? You don't think this is the end, do you? Do you?! Do you?! OK? Where are you going? I think I'll sit down.
Not here.
Come on.
HUTCH: Why don't you put some ketchup on that? Make it taste better.
Ughh! Man, there ain't enough ketchup in the entire world.
That's hospital food.
Look, why don't you be a sport and sneak me out to that Mexican joint down the street, huh? Hey, I'd be glad to take the lady out.
No.
She's not going anywhere, certainly not to Pancho Villa's, and certainly not until we get a doctor's OK.
Oh, come on, give the lady a break.
Yeah.
I'd kill for a taco, burrito, enchilada with guacamole.
You know, every night I'm up here, every night I hear the same thing.
Same thing.
Well, tonight you're taking me out.
No, I'm not.
Oh, yes, you are.
Oh, no, I'm not.
LINDA: Hey, Captain.
Oh, thanks.
How's my favourite officer? All right.
How are things going at the station without me? Not so good.
The commissioner saddled me with a bill for $800.
Seems like one of my men tore up a sidewalk with a jackhammer.
That was a stroke of genius.
How's that? I was just saying, did you find out who did it yet? No, I don't, but when I do find out, he's gonna be walking a beat where he tore up that sidewalk from five to life.
Five to life? Now, Starsky, you said on the phone you might know who it is.
I did? Oh, uh Well, uh, Cap What do you know about it, Hutch? Nothing.
Oh, well, uh STARSKY: Captain, actually Hutch just tried to drag the three of us out for a big, huge Mexican dinner.
STARSKY: His treat.
My treat.