Trying (2020) s03e03 Episode Script

1
- Nikki.
- Yeah.
Tell me again what it
is we're doing here.
- Well, it it's a chance
- Huh?
for new families to bond, isn't it?
And I still haven't
bonded properly with Princess.
- I've not had the moment yet.
- What moment?
The moment.
The "look into each other's
eyes", "you're the one" moment.
- Mmm.
- I feel like you guys have all had that.
I haven't had it yet.
Jase, do you get the
vibe she doesn't like me?
No. Why? Do you?
Maybe.
I don't know how to tell. No
one's ever not liked me before.
Okay. Well, now I don't like you.
Look, you get them all
week. This is my chance.
I just thought they'd fall for
me the way you did, you know?
- Immediately.
- Okay.
Look, just don't Just
don't put too much on it.
Don't force it. Just
let it flow, you know?
- Yeah.
- I don't know. What do I know?
Hello!
I made a new friend.
You've been here two minutes.
I haven't even signed in yet.
I know. It's sort of a superpower.
- Hello. Jason.
- Hi, Rosa, this is Jason.
- Hi, Jason.
- Hello, Rosa. How are you?
- Oh! Jason.
- Yes.
My friend runs an expat group in Spain.
- I'll get the number for your dad.
- Amazing. Thank you so much.
- Four minutes.
- Ah.
I mean, I literally lived
with Freddy for two years
before I even knew he had a sister.
Okay, kids! Come and get your badges!
Good boy, Tyler.
And you're Nikki Jason
- No, I'm Princess!
- Yes, I know.
All right, go and finish your story.
What's with the, uh the lamp?
Oh, the lamp. Well,
that's That's Adam.
See, it used to be a
It used to be a rock.
And then we thought anything
would be better than that.
It's been a lateral move, Rosa.
Kids, badges!
Bye.
She's so great.
Hey. Don't be competitive.
She's got a much nicer personality
than she needs to with a face like that.
No, she was either bullied at
school or her dad left, guaranteed.
Some people are just
pretty and nice, okay?
- Let's bond the shit out of this.
- Yes!
Ah, tickly, ah, tickly.
Ah, tickly little kids.
Ah, tickly little kids.
Tiny, tiny, little tickly people.
People
Oh, it's so pretty here.
Maybe we shouldn't buy the flat.
Maybe we should just move here.
Away from all the crime and the drugs.
Are you kidding? Way
more drugs in the country.
- What?
- Well, nothing else to do, is there?
Literally everyone here is
high on crack or red diesel.
Here you go. All right,
guys, what do you reckon?
- Look at this. Perfect spot.
- Yeah!
- Let's do this! Perfect.
- Tyler, some water?
Right!
Hands up, who wants to put up a tent?
Princess, catch!
- Princess is in. There you go. Lovely.
- No, I was trying to catch the peg!
Hold on a second, where's the peg?
Where's the peg? Where is the peg?
There's the peg. Found the peg.
But where's Princess gone? Princess?
- I'm here!
- Princess?
Oh, my God, there's a tiny bear!
- There is a tiny little bear.
- Okay, no, look Guys
That's funny, but we
need to put the tent up.
Otherwise we're just four people
standing up in a field, aren't we?
So, come on.
- People still do that, yeah?
- What?
- Roll sleeves up before they do something.
- Some people, yes!
Here is a magnificent, tiny bear!
Now Tyler's gone. Tyler? Tyler?
Yes. Yeah. All right.
- What?
- Listen, can I have a word?
Yeah, all right.
Right. Find that peg.
What? What's the matter?
It's not fair you're
always having fun with them.
I don't know how to be like that.
Teach me to be like you.
What? What do you
mean? What do you mean?
I'm not fun enough.
That's why she prefers you.
Come on. You're loads of fun.
What about you at
Emily's birthday drinks?
Then that time we had wine with
Dave in the park. Remember that?
And what about that
brewery tour, you r
- Ah. Okay. All right.
- No.
I join in the fun. I
don't bring the fun.
I always overthink things with the kids.
You never do anything by the
book, and it always works out.
I do everything by the
book, and it never works out.
Oh, my God! Did I buy
the wrong bloody book?
- Just be yourself, Nikki.
- No! No!
No one should be themselves
until they know it's safe.
Be someone else until they like you,
then become yourself gradually
so you don't scare them off.
Right.
No, I need to be more Jason.
- Where do I start?
- I don't know, have a laugh.
Get But how?
Go in there. Have a bit of banter
with them or something, you know?
- Right.
- Yeah?
- Right.
- Okay.
Tell you what, you put up the
tent. I'm just gonna do a few notes.
- All right.
- Just think of a few ad-libs.
Come on, then, you two.
Free kick! Reds!
Are we gonna get out at all?
No! It's pissing it down.
I'll be honest with you.
I think I've lost my
passion for teaching.
Throw-in. Blue!
Yeah. I can sense it ebbing a bit.
I thought coaching
might spark something.
It hasn't.
I think I'm jealous of them.
Their potential.
Sometimes I give the
pretty ones worse marks
'cause I just think, "You've
got enough." You know?
That's bad, isn't it?
Nah, it isn't. It's
true. We do have enough.
Here.
Ah, finish it if you want.
They're not mine. They
were in lost property.
Amy, how long for? This is fish.
Too fancy for lost lunches?
Nice to be you.
No.
Everyone else in my life has a passion.
What's mine?
Don't know, mate.
One thing's for sure. It is not kids.
Ah, come o
Jessica, move your arse!
No, it is not.
Should put that out a
bit further, I reckon.
What about you? Tyler? Huh?
- Okay. Give her the hammer.
- Whoo. All right, guys.
How we all doing? Oh, yeah.
Ooh, where is Princess? Where is she?
I can't find
Oh, I can't find I
can't find her anywhere.
Oh, where are the pegs then?
Come on, kids.
And the tent's not fully up, but
That's fine 'cause we're
all having fun! Whoo!
Sorry, can I have a Can
I have a little word with you?
So then what is What is that?
Is that what you think I'm like?
Yeah, in spirit. Yeah, I do.
Come on, guys!
Hey, hey, all right, give me that.
- Jase, I'm being banter-y.
- Give me that.
- This isn't gonna work, all right?
- Why?
'Cause you're not being me, are you?
To do that, you need to understand
where the banter comes from, all right?
And to do that, you
need to fully understand
my, um philosophy of life.
- Your philosophy of life?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, what?
- No, no, nothing, it's
You rarely hear a phrase like that
coming from someone eating two
children's yogurts, but please go ahead.
- You know, I suppose it's just
- You need to, um
You need to maximize the positives,
not minimize the negatives.
So you should ask yourself
not what could go wrong,
more what could go right.
But seriously, Jase, you really
just You never worry about anything.
Worrying. Pointless, innit?
There might've been use for it when
there were saber-toothed tigers,
but all it does now is hold you back.
So, for instance,
first thing in the bag
should be the water pistol
and not the first aid box.
So, you gotta live in the moment.
Get bloody stuck in.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
No, I can I can do that.
Listen, can I take Princess
this afternoon, just me and her?
Yeah. Lovely. All right.
- That is tight, son!
- Where do you think I'm from?
I don't know.
Hello.
Um, Princess, do you
know what kayaking is?
Well, you get in a boat, and
and and you paddle around in it.
Is Jason coming?
No.
Uh, no, I th I thought it might
be nice if it was just just us.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Oh, no, I don't think kids can take
anything on the kayak, actually.
But because I'm fun and cool,
and if you promise not to tell anyone,
I'm gonna let you take one thing.
Not Jason.
Oh, no.
Oh, uh, are you joining us?
Um
So, we have a new member today.
Freddy? Would you like to
tell us why you're here?
Um
I-It's okay just to listen.
No. Okay? Uh
Uh, hi. Uh, my name's Freddy,
and I am not an alcoholic.
We understand it can be difficult
Really, I'm not. I'm just an arsehole.
I didn't lose everything
'cause of the old
I lost it 'cause I'm an arsehole, and
Well, is it really that different?
'Cause the only real difference is
that I don't have a place to go
and talk where I won't be judged.
And I need to tell some people.
Because I am not a strong person.
People just assume
that because I'm tall.
I had an affair, and I lost my family.
Feels so good to be able to be honest.
This is a safe space.
You're a good person
who deserves to be happy.
Doing one bad thing doesn't change that.
I mean, I do have a few more.
You all right?
How far do we have to go?
Uh, far enough so that we
can't see the tent anymore.
What do you think? Yeah?
What's your favorite
thing about being here?
- The sound the zip makes on the tent.
- Oh, yeah?
Is Adam cold?
No, he's not cold, mate.
He's made of metal, look!
Are there badgers?
- Do you like badgers, yeah?
- No.
Then there's no badgers.
There might be.
I have never once seen a
badger in my entire life.
In fact, I once went
to a wildlife sanctuary.
I stood outside the badger enclosure.
I banged on the glass. Even
threw a little bit of food in.
Still no badgers.
There are no badgers.
- All right, gents.
- Afternoon.
It's all right, mate. It's all
right. It's a squirrel or something.
Can squirrels grab things?
Yeah, I suppose so, sometimes, yeah.
Okay, then you take
him. Just so he's safe.
Okay.
Can squirrels eat people?
No, only nuts. You're
not a nut, are you?
No. Miss Keele says I'm just different.
Sometimes I worry about my morals.
When there's a plane crash or something,
the only way I can feel sympathy
is if I imagine all
the people were puppies.
That's not right, is it?
If there's a charity appeal on the TV,
I get my phone out so people
will think I'm donating.
I'm just reading The Spectator online.
Every time.
Okay, well, should we
take a little, um
I didn't cry at all when my gran died.
I feel so guilty.
I was the one who suggested
we take her skiing.
Oh, you okay?
- You okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Oh, no. Shark!
I'm only kidding. Yeah,
there's no sharks here.
No, the crocodiles chased them all away.
Oh, I didn't bring my camera.
Okay, mental picture.
You thirsty?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I thought so.
I'm just gonna get your
water out of my bag!
Pow, pow, pow, pow!
What's the matter?
You get wet, Princess?
When I heard about that
earthquake in Puerto Rico,
I was eating my breakfast.
I didn't even lose my appetite,
just carried on eating.
Had another egg.
And I'm pretty sexist.
I can't find any woman attractive
if she has very short hair.
When I see women with really short hair,
I'm not undressing them with my eyes.
I'm adding hair.
Okay, really time for a break now.
Anyone else know there's a website
that compiles all the naked
scenes from Game of Thrones?
'Cause I do.
We've had such a lovely
afternoon. How was your day?
- We've got a problem.
- Oh?
You left a vacuum,
and I couldn't fill it.
Oh, shut up. They love you.
Because when you're around,
I get to be the fun one.
But when you leave, then
he starts coming at me
with, like, feelings and lamps and
feelings about lamps, and I don't
I Honestly, I
didn't know what to say.
Well he's never had a family, has he?
So he's always creating
families all around him.
Okay, so to Tyler, that
flower isn't just a flower.
- Mmm.
- Right, that is a baby flower
with a mummy and sister
flower who love him very much.
The lamp is part of his family.
Yeah, exactly.
- Careful.
- I know.
He can't come to you yet,
so you need to go to him.
You need to feel the world
the way that he feels it.
- Yeah? Then you'll understand him.
- Okay.
- Hmm?
- Yeah, okay.
- Mmm.
- I'll try.
- I'll give it a go.
- Okay.
Hey, how'd you, um How'd
you do that water bottle thing?
What water bottle thing?
The thing when you know
exactly when they're thirsty.
- No, I don't.
- You do.
No, I don't.
- No, I'm all right, thanks.
- See, I haven't got a clue.
Gather round, gather
round, gather round.
Okay, my lovely little pumpkin
seeds. Capture the flag.
We have ten family teams,
and you must all take a
flag and plant it somewhere.
Come and get your flags.
Oh, no, sorry. We're We're red.
We're red. I got the red flag.
You must try to capture
the other teams' flags.
But if you are caught in
another team's territory,
then you are sent to jail.
But don't worry, there
are nachos and dips.
So fly, my lovelies, and plant your
flags where no one shall find them!
Uh, except me, actually, 'cause
I need them back by end of day.
Did you get those rules?
Let's go!
Oh, I want to beat her.
Yeah, I-I wanna beat her, but I won't.
I won't. No one's keeping score.
Just a bit of fun, isn't it?
- Doesn't matter that they won the tents.
- Okay, come on.
Well, that's another 400 views
for The Undercover Banker.
Huh?
I sent you the link.
What's this?
This is my insider's blog
on the banking industry.
I found a route around the, uh
the straight, white, cis male
gatekeepers of the publishing industry.
Oh.
It's a real state-of-the-nation
call to arms,
inspired by the work
of Sólveig Anspach,
who, in my opinion, really
should be every bit as famous
as Hans-Jürgen Syberberg.
Oh. Well, don't worry. She is.
So great to have a calling.
What?
I hate my job, Scott.
I hate it so much and all of the time.
I've had no idea.
What What do you What W
Which part of it do you hate?
The children.
Right.
That's quite a big part.
I just can't stand them anymore.
Their tiny little faces
and their tiny little brains
and their tiny little hands.
And how it takes them 45 minutes
to eat two slices of apple.
And how the whole day is about them.
I mean, seriously, is nobody
nobody gonna ask me how I am?
You know, I-I have given them
the best years of my life,
and they won't even remember my name.
And they just walk off with my stuff.
Do you know how many
of my glue spreaders
came back intact at
the end of last term?
You'd be shocked, Scott.
You know, all I do is
think about their future.
Well, who who is
gonna think about mine?
Whose job is it to
think about that, hmm?
Yes, another like.
Sorry.
What's a glue spreader?
Princess, want a drop of water?
They're so fluffy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- There's someone in our territory.
- Quick, quick, hide! Hide!
Oh.
Oh, my gosh. Thank you, honey.
Look at that.
- I love you, Mummy.
- I love you.
I want to beat them.
I don't want to be relaxed.
I don't just want to be fun.
I want to take things too
seriously. I want to be me again.
I want you to be you again.
Oh, thanks. Gasping.
Mmm.
Let's win this.
Nikki, that is incredibly hot.
- Three, two, one. Go!
- Come on!
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's all right.
Not scary, not scary.
Now!
Run! Run! Run!
We're gonna win. We're gonna win!
- Stop!
- What?
Where's Adam?
What are we gonna do?
We go back. No one left behind.
He's part of the family. Come on.
I don't get it. Why isn't he here?
Adam. Adam.
Quick, come on.
- Come on.
- Hey, stop!
- Hey, stop!
- Stop!
- Good.
- Aw, come on.
Adam!
Yeah, he's a bit beaten up.
There they are.
Go sit down there.
Oh, God. Oh.
Huh?
- This is sexy, hmm?
- No.
- No?
- No.
Come on.
- Is that my bronzer? Jase.
- I don't know.
- I don't know. It was just in your bag.
- That's expensive. Bloody hell.
- We can't move here.
- Mm-mmm.
These are city kids.
When we went for a walk in the
pine forest, Princess asked,
"Why did the air smell like shower gel?"
Do you know what? It's a
gift you have, not to worry.
- Oh, I don't know.
- Really, no, it's great.
Has your dad put the money through?
No.
- Oh.
- But he's What did he
He said it's gonna be
He said it's gonna be soon.
- Oh.
- And that he'll So, yeah.
Yeah.
It worked for a bit,
didn't it? Me being you.
Only 'cause I was being you
'cause someone's got to be.
Oh, look, any idiot can be "fun."
But when shit gets real,
then they're gonna
look to you for things
that I'm just not able to give them.
Princess? Do you want seconds?
- She's doing it on purpose, Nikki. Nikki.
- Oh.
Hey, she's stress testing you
because she wants to know
if you're gonna give up.
And if you are,
then then she needs to
know sooner rather than later.
- Mmm.
- Yes.
- Guess who's been reading some books?
- Shut up.
No, I had a chat with Rosa about it.
She said that she was
the same with her stepdad.
Oh, dad abandoned her. See? Told you.
All right, mate.
Oh.
The point is, she's making
it hard for you on purpose.
Well, she's picked on the wrong person
if she thinks I'm gonna
give up when things get hard.
Because little does she know
I find everything hard.
You'll win her over eventually.
And if she's anything like me,
then she won't even know it's happening.